Title: First Lines, First Times

Author: EntreNous

Fandom: Btvs/Ats

Pairing: Spike/Xander; Angel/Xander; Giles/Xander; Oz/Xander; Lindsey/Xander. Love that Xander!!!

Rating: R

Warning: Slash

Spoilers: None for Btvs. Season 2 for Ats.

Summary: In answer to Liddy's First Line challenge on m-m slashaholics: 'Start a slash fic with the first line 'We need to have sex, right now.' Any rating, any pairing, any explanation. The only real requirement is to start the fic with the above line." Well, as it turns out I couldn't decide on a particular pairing, so I've written five separate vignettes, each one a dialogue-drabble. Why five? It's the fifth of October, silly! In each, Xander starts with the line and convinces a different man to have sex with him.

Distribution: At my site Just Between Us: The Fanfiction of EntreNous: http://www.geocities.com/entrenous88/ and on list archives. If anyone else wants it, please ask first.

Feedback: Always want it -- ezbake88@aol.com

Disclaimer: All Btvs and Ats characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and affiliated production companies. No infringement is intended. I don't profit from these stories in any way. However, the stories do belong to me.

AN: Unbeta'ed. Drabbles, really. Apologies in advance to Manty Pants for using the word Nummy not once but *twice*.

First Lines, First Times
by EntreNous

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1. Xander/Spike
************

"We need to have sex, right now."

"Well, yeah, but we’ll have to pick up a couple of birds first, won’t we?"

"Um. Girls. Yep! Yep, go meet some girls. Girls first. Then the having of the sex."

"Right then."

"So . . . where do you want to go to meet chicks?"

"Don’t care really. Your choice."

"You decide."

"Can’t make up your own mind, ponce?"

"You’re the one that brought it up."

"What’re you on about? You’re the one who said we need to have sex right now."

"Yeah, but you’re the one who said we had to ‘pick up birds’ and all. Um . . . no, wait . . . yeah, I started it all right! Started this conversation and so it’s up to you to -- "

"Hang on."

"No, Spike, you’re absolutely right. As the bringer-up of this suggestion, I should be the one to -- "

"Shut your trap for a moment and let me think!"

"Uh . . . ‘kay."

"If you started out by saying ‘we need to have sex, right now,’ but didn’t have a mind to go pull some girls, what did you mean then?"

"Nothing."

"No . . . "

"Forget it!"

"No, I . . . Oh! Oh, pet. Just admit it, why don’t you."

"Admit what?"

"That. You. Want. Me."

"What? Want you? What? No!"

"Let’s take this again from the top, shall we? You come in here, saying you want sex, then you make it clear that you have no plans to find girls to have sex with . . . seems clear to me that you’re aching for it, love."

"I am not aching for it! Um, for what?"

"For me to give it to you proper."

"Damn it, Spike!"

"For a bit of slap and tickle."

"I . . . what’s that? That’s a sex thing, isn’t it? Spike, stop saying sexy sex things to me!!"

"Oooooooh, Nummy . . . cute when you’re all red like that."

"For the love of --"

"No need to get all upset."

"Spike, I . . . what are you doing?"

"Did you hit yourself on the head this morning? What does it look like I’m doing?"

"Un . . . undressing. Spike, why are you taking off your -- "

"Think it through, Nummy. If we’re going to have sex, it’ll make it that much easier when we both take our clothes off."

"No, not looking! This is *not* happening, tra la la la la."

"Pet?"

"Spike, uh . . . I don’t think you should . . . okay, so you’ve backed me into the corner, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll . . . hey, hands off the buttons! Stop that!"

"Fine, then, you do it yourself. Unless you fancy staying fully clothed while I make you beg for more."

"Beg?"

"That’s right."

"Beg for more."

"Yeah."

"Okay, okay. Fine! You do realize that you’ve basically trapped me into going to bed with you."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, baby."

"Oh . . . Spike."

"I’ll be in the bedroom when you’re ready."

"Oh, god."

"Careful now -- you’ll trip and hurt yourself trying to stumble in here and take your clothes off at the same time."

"Spike?"

"Yeah."

"Can you just shut up for a while?"

"Make me, pet."

"Oh, god."

2. Angel/Xander

"We need to have sex, right now."

"You know that I can’t have sex with anyone."

"God, you’re no fun at all!"

"Xander, do you really want me to lose my soul? Never mind the fact that you don’t even like me."

"But I do! I do like you."

"No, you really don’t."

"No, I don’t. You’re right. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t sleep together."

"This just doesn’t seem like you."

"Oh, how would you know? It’s not like we’re close."

"That is true. But what about -- "

"The happiness thing? Look, do you really think you’d experience perfect happiness with someone who just wants to use you for your body and doesn’t even really like you? I mean, what are the odds?"

"Well, I suppose I would feel used. And not liked. That would definitely decrease the level of happiness for me."

"That’s the spirit. Now let’s get those funeral rags off of you."

"Um, okay."

3. Giles/Xander

"We need to have sex, right now."

"Good god, Xander, you must be joking. I mean, surely you can’t be serious!"

"I am serious . . . and stop calling me Shirley!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"God, don’t you *ever* watch any American films? ~Airplane~? Classic comedic cinema?"

"Not after you made us sit through that rot ~Apocalypse Now~."

"But you said you liked it! You said it was all about the journey!"

"Oh, bugger all, Xander, I was just being polite. It’s a terrible film."

"Yeah, well, don’t get off topic here."

"Where in heaven’s name did you come up with the idea that you and I should have sex?"

"Um . . . spell?"

"I may be an amateur warlock, Xander, but even I can tell that there is no spell at work here."

"Okay. Demon blood. It splashed on me when we were on patrol, and it made me desire to have sex with the first man that I saw. Uh, that’d be you, Giles."

"Yes, I gathered that already, Xander."

"Come on, Giles! Demon blood!"

"Well. If it’s in the interests of warding off some terrible fate that could befall you if you don’t follow the imperatives of -- "

"Huh? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was looking at your . . . belt."

"There was no demon, was there?"

"What? No demon? How can you tell? Oh, whatever. All right. God, can’t we just have sex already? Does there have to be a Hellmouthy explanation? Please, you’ve been checking me out since I was sixteen -- "

"I have not! I’ll have you know that I’m well aware of the age of consent in this country, and -- "

"Okay, fine. So there’s no reason why I annoy you, seemingly without any cause? No reason why you get all riled up whenever I contribute to a conversation? I say you’re having groiny thoughts about me, and --"

"Xander, aren’t you straight?"

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Which is?"

"That you want to have sex with me. I’m totally over the age of consent -- I mean, I’m over twenty, for Christ’s sake -- and there’s no reason we can’t get it on."

"Even if all that you say is true, then -- "

"Giles, you’re so sexy when you’re wiping your glasses off."

"Erm . . . "

"Well?"

"Oh, all right. If you insist."

"I do! I insist on all kinds of things!"

4. Oz/Xander

"We need to have sex, right now."

"That’s a direct statement."

"Look, Oz, I just . . . I don’t mean to wig you out, but I’m thinking that there’s something between us. Something more than just friends, and call me crazy, but I’m getting the feeling that you feel it too. I don’t know if it’s too soon or not, but --"

"Okay."

"Okay? Really? Wow, are you serious? That was a *lot* easier than I thought it would be, you know? But are you sure? I mean, because I can --"

"Xander? Man of action here, not words."

"Oh! Right. Okay. Action. Action is good."

"S’all good."

5. Lindsey/Xander

"We need to have sex, right now."

"Hey, I don’t even know you."

"So? I don’t know you either. Plus I’m kind of drunk."

"You always go around propositioning men you’ve never met before? Because let me tell you, where I grew up, people were so poor that they needed each other. People weren’t strangers. Not like this damn town, where everyone is a stranger, and everyone wants something from you, and--"

"Nice suit."

"Uh . . . thanks."

"You look as good out of it as you do in?"

"Uh . . . Listen, I’m in a really complicated situation right now, where there’s this woman, who’s in love with another man, and I want to be with her, except that I don’t know where she is at the current time. I mean, they have this long history together, centuries really, and I know I can’t compete with that, but all that I can offer her is --"

"Hey, I don’t even know you."

"What, you’ll have sex with me, but you don’t want to know the difficulties and passions in my life? The competing pull I have to be good *and* to be evil? My dreams of singing to people, making them happy, versus my fantasy of becoming so rich that I could buy the fucking town that I grew up in?"

"Not really."

"All right then. Just so we’re clear."

"Um, this drunken haze isn’t going to last forever. I mean, at least not without a hell of a lot more liquor."

"Oh, right! Well, I have several different types of fine scotch back at my corporate-subsidized luxury apartment."

"I thought you would. Did I mention that I liked your suit?"

"Yeah. Okay. Let me just settle this tab."

"Pick up mine while you’re at it?"

"Huh? Oh, sure."

***The End***
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