TITLE: Five Hours 'til Christmas.

AUTHOR: Xanpet

EMAIL: xanpet2000@aol.com

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Pairing: Xander/Spike

RATING: NC17 M/M sexual intercourse.

SUMMARY: Why five? 'Cos I can't think of twelve things, okay? Plus, I ran out of puns. (Hangs head in shame. ;-p)

CATEGORY: PWP. (I took it out, had it shot and displayed it's severed head on London Bridge as an example to all other plots that try to sneak there way in to a perfectly good piece of smut!!)

SPOILERS: Huh!?

DISTRIBUTION: See, want, take, have. Just tell me where my baby goes.

DISCLAIMER: If they were mine they'd be at it all day 'til they were sore. They're clearly not mine.

FEEDBACK: I have no shame I'll beg…pleeeeeese!!!

Five Hours 'til Christmas

by Xanpet

It was probably the stupidest idea he'd had to date. In fact, in the history of stupid ideas, this was the Lifetime Achievement Award winning entry, but it was Christmas Eve and he was lonely and hurt. What a day to walk out. Not that she'd understood for a moment, a thousand years old and still a child. "I hope you'll be very happy." And the funny thing? She had meant it.

It was a crisis, and crisis manager Giles had taken Buffy and her sister to Aspen for a proper Christmas holiday, pine trees, snow, Santa, the works. Willow and Tara had also gone away for the holiday season for some exotic, secret, romantic rendezvous. There was no way Xander was going back home to Mom and Dad. He'd come too far since the drunken Christmas fights and he wasn't sleeping in the yard, taking risks with the local demons any more. Nor could he face the empty apartment right now, so desperate times called for desperate measures.

He wrapped on the door, determined to be cheerful. After all, it was Christmas, "Knock, knock."

"Fuck off."

Xander opened the door to the crypt and went in, "Uh, uh that wasn't your line, it's 'who's there?'"

The blond vampire was sitting on his sofa, cigarette in hand, staring unseeing at the Christmas pap on the TV, "Who's there?" He said, without looking up.

"Xander."

"Fuck off."

"And there was me with a present for you. Thought you might not want to be alone at Christmas. Guess it's not the season for vampires to be jolly."

"Yeah, I'm so happy to be celebrating the mass of the bloke, whose very symbol has me flinching, and who will see my already damned soul, burn in the fires of eternal hell the day I'm dust. Got the invite to his feast right here in me pocket." But he got up to look at the shiny box. Xander held it out and he took it.

"What is it?"

"Well, if it was a vampire repellent…. You'd know by now so, open it."

Spike tore off the wrapping and looked at the black box with silver writing, and then he opened that too and took out the bottle of Tennessee Whiskey. "Hah," he said to the air, "You're birthday but I get the gifts of booze." He smiled at Xander and seemed genuinely pleased.

"At last, I get something right, even if it is for the evil undead." Xander thought. He hovered for a moment and then made as if to go.

"It's only just seven, if the trouble and strife don't want you in yet, you could stay and drink with me, that is…" Spike frowned but Xander nodded.

Anya didn't want him home. She didn't want him at all. Yeah, he'd stay…. Stay and drink. Xander took the bottle and looked around for glasses, but could only find three plastic cups and a chipped tooth mug. He started to pour into the cleanest of the cups but instantly the brown liquid began to trickle from the side.

Spike snatched the bottle back, "Spilling good grog is a hangable offence, if you promise not to back wash, we'll just drink from the bottle, eh?"

Xander sat down next to Spike on the sofa and for a while, they said nothing. They watched the TV, taking it in turns with the bottle, and by the time it was half drunk, so were they. Sitting much closer now, fingers brushing as the bottle went back and forth, to and fro. Spike surfed the channels and eventually settled on a British comedy show. "You gotta love Blackadder."
He said.

Xander wanted anything that would take his over active mind, away from his last conversation with Anya, and he had to concede that whiskey, mind numbing TV and a drinking partner that said little, were perfect. He concentrated on the TV. The channel seemed to be running the whole series back to back and soon he was joining in lines with Spike.

"I am the baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells." They chorused, followed closely by, "You have a woman's hands, my lord." And by the time they got to, 'Woof!' 'Satan and all his little wizards', with hand actions, and 'Not Flossie - Yes I was that sheep' they had finished the present and were onto a bottle of Spike's own that he'd found under the sofa.

"Fizzbuzz." Said Spike, suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Let's play Fizzbuzz." Spike explained the rules of the game, which were simple, if you weren't filled with strong drink. All you had to do was count, replacing each multiple of three with the word fizz, and each multiple of five with the word buzz. Numbers like fifteen were fizzbuzz, "Like we're ever going to get there?" Thought Xander.

"Nah," Slurred the vampire some minutes later, "Drink two fingers, my turn, one, two fizz, buzz…"

"Wrong, four's not a multiple of five. Right, one, two, fizz, three…"

"Fucking 'ell China! We're both too Brahms to get past three. My go. One, two, fizz, four buzz, fizz, seven, eight, fizz, buzz, eleven, twelve…"

"Twelve? Nuh uh. Sorry, you didn't phrase your answer in the form of a question. But we have some lovely parting gifts…"

"Wrong game, arsewipe,"

"Yeah, your Momma!" Xander took up one of the sofa cushions at attempted to hit Spike over the head with it. Spike caught him by the wrists and wrestled with him until he pulled a face, which told Xander the chip had sent a warning twinge. Spike sank back down on the sofa and picked up the bottle.

"It's getting late, 'adn't you better be trotting along like a good boy?" He said.

"Shut up." Xander had come here to forget the events of the morning. He glared at Spike through drink heavy eyelids.

"You all right? Everything still tickety boo in the love nest?"

He might as well tell him, as it was the only reason he was here. "She left me."

"What?! On Christmas Eve, what a bitch!" Xander scanned Spike's face as best he could, with the room gently spinning, but he seemed sincere in his outrage.

"Yeah well, a thousand year old demon doesn't quite get the whole Christmas issue. She wanted me to be happy."

"So she chucked you?"

"Just call me King Dumped of Dumponia."

"Nah, that's my title. Bloody women and their bloody logic. It's having two x chromosomos." Said Spike, nodding sagely.

"Yeah, chromosomos make you mad."

"You said chromosomos."

"So did you. We have one x chromoso…thingy so we're only half mad."

"And two y ones which make us extra clever."

"One."

"Eh?"

"One y chrome each."

"That's two."

"Only if you put them together and make a baby."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Might be, I've read about you vamp boys, swinging gates, tarts of the demon community yada yada yada."

Suddenly, the drunken banter stopped and the two looked directly into each other's eyes. Xander knew, on an intellectual level, that he was emotionally vulnerable at this point, but a bottle and a half of Jack Daniels can do funny things to a guy and he wanted the vampire - right now.

He lent over to take the bottle and, in doing so, brushed his lips across Spike's. Spike didn't flinch but caught Xander under the chin, and kissed him full on the mouth, hard. Xander groaned and Spike clambered onto his lap, kneeling across him without breaking the kiss. He held Xander's face between his hands and licked his mouth, cheek and neck. Xander drew breath as he felt his cock jump and twitch with each new sensation.

"Are you sure?" Spike whispered into his ear.

"Yeah, if being rebound guy is good for you."

"I couldn't give a fuck."

"No? Then let me up. I need a rebound guy that gives a fuck. Kind of prerequisite in reboundage."

But Spike didn't let him up. He took the bottle, drained it and tossed it into the corner of the crypt where it shattered against the stone. He went back to kissing, licking and nibbling, undoing Xander's shirt to run his hand across smooth, tanned skin. With his other, he kneaded at the bulge in the Xander's pants and Xander pulled him closer. He returned to Xander's mouth,
kissing urgently and Xander sighed, only to have a cool tongue plunge deep inside.

Spike wriggled out of his grasp and slid off Xander's lap. "Hey! Changed my mind here! Rebound guy you are…. Passed the audition and everything."

Spike said nothing for a moment but slipped to his knees in front of the brunette and fumbled with his zipper. "Lift up." He commanded and he slid both jeans and boxers down. He looked at Xander's erect cock and licked his lips.

Xander wondered whether the 'vampire swinging gate' theory was true or whether Spike was just teasing him, but all doubts vanished when the bleach blond swallowed him whole. "Christ, he has to have done this before." Xander thought.

Spike took the silky cock all the way down his throat to the root. He massaged Xander's ball sac at the same time. Then he began to suck and bob his head until Xander moaned in ecstasy. His cock was wet with saliva and it tickled as it ran down his balls, making the whole area sticky. Xander felt a finger pressing against his ring but Spike couldn't gain entrance.

"Put your foot up here." He said, patting the sofa. He kept fisting as he spoke. Xander took his left foot out of his pants and placed it on the seat. He was in the most obscene position. From Spike's vantage point, on his knees, Xander knew he could see right into his hole. Spike moved in and began to lick.

"Oh, yeah," Begged Xander, "Rim me good."

The vampire went at his task with a vengeance, first tongue fucking the hole, sliding the tip in as far as it would go and sucking hard. It was sweet agony. Then he teased all around the edge. Xander went wild above him. It was so sensitive and felt so good! Spike laved his tongue up and down the perineum until the young man was pleading for release.

"If you come, you get fucked." Warned Spike.

"Don't care. Need it. Make me. Make me come. Make me come hard."

Spike obliged. He went back to the blowjob, licking and sucking around the silky head and dipping his tongue into the salty slit. He set up a rhythm that soon had Xander fucking his mouth.

Spike's soft cool mouth, wrapped around his aching cock was the final fillip, "Oh my God! Gonna come! Gonna…gonna…. OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!" He wailed, struggling to keep his eyes open through his orgasm, to watch pearly white spunk splash onto the vampire's talented tongue.

Spike swallowed, smiled and then stood. Leaning over, he gave him a semen-flavored kiss and then said, "Let's take this downstairs, lover."

Xander stood, swayed and, after two or three failed attempts, managed to completely remove his pants and shorts. Then he followed Spike down the ladder. As he was nearing the bottom, he felt Spike's hands on his bare buttocks and stopped climbing. Spike caressed his ass cheeks and spread them apart, blowing on the puckered opening and making it contract. Xander clung to the ladder as Spike slid around to the other side and began to suck Xander's cock through the rungs.

It was horny. It was dirty. It was just what he needed to wash away the last painful memories of Miss ex demon and her Dear John speech. He was going to enjoy this and…stay on the ladder. Explaining how he'd gotten a broken leg to paramedics was not part of the game plan.

Spike swung to the floor and helped Xander the rest of the way. He devoured him with kisses that Xander returned with equal fervor. The vampire tasted of whiskey and cigarettes.

They maneuvered their way to the bed and Xander shed his shirt. Spike knelt in front of him while the young man removed his tee shirt. Xander opened his eyes wide at the sight of Spike's pale and naked chest. He couldn't resist nipping and suckling at the rosy pink nipples. They immediately went taught and the vampire sighed, holding Xander's head to his chest.

"Yesss." He hissed, under his breath.

Xander pushed him backwards until he was lying with his head at the foot of the bed, "Take off your pants." Xander commanded. He watched as Spike slowly undid the buttons of his fly, one by one. He pulled the jeans down over his slender hips and, kicking them off, threw them over his head onto the floor. He began to stroke himself, maintaining eye contact with Xander as he masturbated, drawing the foreskin backwards and forwards over the weeping head. It was one of the most erotic things Xander had ever seen. He reached for his own cock and began to pull, never taking his eyes from Spike.

"That's right, perform for me, baby." He whispered, but Spike clearly had other plans than a mutual tossing off. With vampire speed, they changed places. Xander landed on his back and Spike crouched over him, as if ready to pounce.

"You done this before?" He asked.

"Oh yeah. Road trip. Strip joint job. Uhm, s'okay. I like…like muchly, but we'll need something, lube or…something?"

Spike furrowed his brow as if in thought and then hopped off the bed and started rummaging in a trunk in the corner.

"This do?" He said finally, holding up a bottle of hair conditioner. "Harmony was always buying this kind of shit but I slung most of it. It's either this or leg wax I'm afraid, I get to screw blokes about as often as chits these days."

"Leg wax? Okay…eeeww moment. And the answer is conditioner? Oh, come on evil dead, do me!"

"That's the drink talking." Said Spike with a grin. He came back to the bed and opened the bottle. He squeezed a generous portion onto his hand and smoothed it between the globes of Xander's ass. Xander raised his hips to slide a pillow underneath and yelped, as Spike pushed no less than two fingers against his hole.

"Relax," The vampire murmured as he kept up the pressure against the ring. Working the fingers in, he turned them slowly, back and forth until Xander thought he would die from the sweetness of it.

Spike crooked them against the other's prostate and Xander cried out for more, "Oh yes, like that, oh God." His newfound lover scissored the fingers, stretching him, opening him, preparing him for entry…making him wait. "Now, oh please God, now."

"I really think you should stop calling me God. What do you want Xander?"

"You."

"You've got me."

"No, please, more,"

"More of this?" Spike thrust extra hard and Xander thought he would come just from the finger fuck, but it wasn't what he wanted.

"No," He answered and Spike began to withdraw his fingers. "You cunt. You prick teasing bastard,"

"Shh, Xander, it's alright, just tell me what you want."

"You, I want you to fuck me, hard, fast, anyway, just do it and now!"

"Your wish is my command." And the vampire removed his fingers and began to lubricate his cock. Then he placed Xander's legs up over his shoulders and pushed in. Xander let out one long moan as he felt himself filling.

Spike pushed his cock all the way in to the hilt and then held still for a moment. It was just long enough to make Xander thrust upwards in frustration.

"It's okay Sweetmeat, here we go," Purred the vampire as he began to move, using long trusts, in and out. He drew his cock all the way out to the tip, before thrusting back in to the base. Xander rocked in steady rhythm with each stroke. It felt so good, so sweet, so incredible. Girls, what were they? Why had he ever stopped doing this?

Spike grunted and groaned as the pace increased. He slammed into Xander on every push, driving his cock deeper and deeper into him. Xander felt that keen ache in his gut explode into stars, as his prostate was hit again and again. Jesus, if Spike kept this up he was going to pass out. His own cock was pressed between them, being massaged with every stroke.

"Oh fuck, gonna come, yes, yes, yes, YESSSSS!!" Spike climaxed like an express train. Xander was sure he could feel Spike's seed spilling high inside him. He groaned and shot his own onto their bellies.

Spike collapsed onto him and then rolled away.

"You okay?" He asked, minutes later.

"Yeah, walking could be an issue, but I'm good."

"You're better than good."

Xander lay in the after glow of their rutting, wondering. "Do you think she'll ever come back?"

"No, I'm alone." Spike clearly thought he was talking about Drucilla.

He slid closer and kissed the vampire on the shoulder, "Maybe not. Hey, it's Christmas day. Merry Christmas, William."

But Spike was already asleep.

END