TITLE: Forsaken

AUTHOR: Ragna

writinggoddess@aol.com

RATING: PG

CLASSIFICATION: Xander/Faith.

SUMMARY: Xander picks Faith up as she gets out of jail, as long as she goes back to Sunnydale.

SPOILERS: Set shortly after "The Gift"

DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.

DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, I don't own it. Joss Whedon, Kazui Sandollar, The WB, UPN, et. al. most likely do. The song "Slept So Long" was originally by Jonathan Davis and was covered by Jay Gordon.

FEEDBACK: Please send it offlist and let me know it's feedback; I do rapid delete on my account due to a lot of spam.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: My answer to the Faith Ficathon. My assignment:

For: nikitangel
One To Two Characters You Want: Xander and/or Angel
Two Other Requests: Please make it *not* from Faith's POV; if Xander, have them mention what happened in "Consequences," if Angel, a discussion of his visits to her in jail.
Three Things You Don't Want: Clear-cut "Faith was evil, now she is good" B&W sort of thinking; Faith mooning over perfect, golden Buffy.

I also answered Aaronlisa's Season 6 challenge: - "Instead of bringing back Buffy, Faith is released from jail (either on parole or for whatever reason) and returns to Sunnydale because they need a Slayer there desperately. This means the following events do not happen:
1) the death of Tara (there's no need)
2) the trio doesn't happen
3) Buffy/Spike
-- what I would like to see happen are the following:
1) the musical still takes place... however it's Faith who has the main songs. What is she singing about (no need to actually write songs if you don't feel comfortable with it...but what is on Faith's mind)
2) How do the Scoobies deal with Faith coming back to Sunnydale. I am sure they aren't all going to be lovey-dovey and happy to see her but they will have to work with her."

(There was a third requirement, an episode rewrite, but since I never saw the ep I got exempted). There will be more discussion of what happened in "Consequences" as soon as I can re-watch it.


Forsaken
by Ragna
***

Walking, waiting
Alone without a care
Hoping, and hating
Things that I can't bear

Did you think it's cool to walk right up
To take my life and fuck it up
Well did you
Well did you
~ from "Slept So Long," originally by Jonathan Davis, covered by Jay Gordon

"So she's really dead," she said as she tipped her baseball cap forward a little. The sun was hot in the desert and, for the first time ever, Xander saw her with her hair in a ponytail, and the ponytail was stuck through the gap in the back of the ball cap. Her hair was dark and wavy, and when the sun glinted on it it was like you couldn't look at it.

"Yeah, she's dead." There wasn't much to say about Xander, who wore jeans, a tank-top...normal construction crew wear with the exception of the tool belt and the hard hat. Xander noted Faith had on the tightest black pants he'd ever seen her wear and a shirt that showed more skin than it covered, white with some writing on it.

"I'm sorry. Must be hard for you guys."

Xander nodded. It was about all he could do. She knew about the Buffy Bot, about Spike, about all of the Scoobies scrambling around to make ends meet. Hell, Xander thought, I don't even live in the house and I pay rent. Maybe I should just move in...

"Maybe we should stop, get something to eat," she said, leaning back, thrusting everything between her pelvis and breasts upwards. "Haven't had decent food in...a while."

Xander just stared at her. She had a feline grace to her that amazed him. Not to say Anya didn't have things that appealed to him, but lately...she had the business, and he had three friends to console plus a full time job. Anya just wasn't as important to him anymore, and she knew it as of last night.

Xander was a free man.

Faith turned and saw him stare.

"What?"

Xander shrugged. "Just admiring."

"Xander, you're...different."

"Everyone changes," Xander said as he pulled into the diner parking lot.

"No way we'll make it back tonight," Faith said, looking at the setting sun. "We could stay around here."

"I don't have that much cash."

Faith shrugged. "I can get us a room."

"Back to the old ways?"

Faith glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Before he could reply, she continued. "My sentence got commuted, you know. Means I was a model inmate who now has complete freedom. I lucked out. I'm not going to go around killing humans for fun. And I won't ever go after you again because you didn't deserve it."

Xander's hand reluctantly moved to his neck. "Then how do we get a room?"

Faith held up a wad of cash. "Enough for a one bed, I think. Got it doing chores. Since I didn't have to pay anyone on the outside, it was all mine to keep."

Xander nodded. "Look, I'm sorry."

Faith shrugged and got out of the car. "Get us a seat at the diner. I'll get a room."

***

Faith dipped the thick steak fries into the ketchup, just looking at them. Occasionally she'd take a bite, but it was mostly the hamburger and strawberry shake that held her attention.

"So we have two beds?" Xander asked.

"Yeah. There's a special going on, so we got lucky." She finally bit into the fry. "How much longer to Sunnyhell?"

"About 100 miles."

Faith nodded. "I'd offer to drive in the morning, but I have no license. Getting stuck out here...bad idea."

Xander nodded. "Faith, I have a serious question."

"How serious?"

"Did you want to kill me that night, when everyone was after you?"

Faith thought for a moment. "No, I didn't. For a long time I'd thought I did, but I really didn't." She shook her head. "I caused so much shit, didn't I?"

"Honestly? Yeah."

Faith grinned and tossed a fry at him. "You know, I wonder if I'm good or bad, still. Like, I wouldn't join up with the Mayor again, but I like to break rules, live on the edge."

"And what do you want to do about it?"

"Be as good as I can be. No more, no less. I'm not perfect, and I never will be, and there's going to be times I slip up and it ain't pretty. But I'll try, you know?"

"Sounds good enough for me."

"Yeah, but is it good enough for everyone else?"

Xander shrugged and went back to his dinner, knowing the answer was probably going to be no.

***

Later that night, as the two of them slept in their separate beds, Xander woke up to Faith tossing and turning, moaning and almost crying. He sat on one of the few places where she wasn't pushing sheets and blankets off, and reached over to touch her.

She grabbed his arm so hard it hurt and opened her eyes. When she saw who she had grabbed, she let go quickly and sat up, backing up against the wall.

"Psychiatrist said I may have dreams for a while," she said quietly. She took Xander's hand and pulled it towards her, looking at the finger shaped bruises she'd left. "I'm sorry."

"Now I just know to wake you up with a stick or foam baseball bat or something," he said, taking his arm back and rubbing the bruised part.

Faith looked at him. He was wearing his jeans but not his tank top, and there was a scar running from his heart area across his ribs. "Where'd you get this?" she asked.

"A fight last month, with one of the stronger demons who've come to Sunnydale since they think the Slayer may be gone." He shrugged. "Doesn't hurt anymore."

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember the last time?"

Sander swallowed slightly and nodded. "Sort of a 'wham, bam, thank-you-ma'am' kind of thing?"

"Yeah. I shouldn't have done that to you. Or most of the others." She looked down at her bare feet, taking deep breaths for a moment. "I need to apologize to you, I feel the need when I look at you to make it all right."

"Well, apology accepted."

"Can I...make it up to you?"

Faith started to lift the shirt she was wearing, one of Xander's spare tank tops, off, but Xander put his hand on her hips, stopping the movement. "Things are very different now, Faith. I'm not going to rush into something, not this time."

"So...you do want me?"

"Why are you so shy all of a sudden?"

"Because I regretted screwing you over the most."

Xander moved his hands so the cupped her back, then moved in as he pulled her closer until their lips met in a sweet but slightly carnal kiss. Faith pulled him in as close as he would let her, enjoying something as simple as a kiss.



END