TITLE: He Wasn't Man Enough

AUTHOR: Willie J

EMAIL: wmj166@yahoo.com

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series

ARCHIVE SITE(S): http://parrot.nearheralways.com/index.php; http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon; http://www.adultfanfiction.net

PAIRINGS: implied Angel/Xander

RATING: R for implied graphic violence

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Buffy et all, nor Angel the Series.

FEEDBACK: Oh please send me feedback, privately or through the list

DISTRIBUTION: List Archives

SPOILERS: Initiative season

SUMMARY:

A/N: Song by Toni Braxton 'He wasn't man enough'

A/N #2: This is totally unbeta'd...so any mistakes, errors, spelling blah blah blah are mine.


He wasn't man enough
By Willie j

At the knock on the hotel room door, Xander took a deep breath. Pasting a welcoming smile on his face, crossed the room and opened it.

“Riley, thanks for meeting me here,” he said warmly to the pair. Stepping back he gestured them into the room, a smile of welcome firmly on his face.

“Xander, so what's the all-fired emergency reason why you called us here?” And the blonde former Initiative soldier had a smirk on his handsome face as he took a seat on the couch.

Xander hesitated, a slightly confused look in his eyes. “It's about Buffy and you. And me,” he added softly, looking directly to Riley. As he sat down, he cast a shy, charming smile at Riley, who merely smiled lazily.

“What about Buffy? Since we are married, you know that I'll probably tell her everything you say. Afterall, married couples don't keep secrets from each other,” Riley replied. And his blue eyes gleamed victoriously.

“Well, there was apparently one secret you kept from her,” the dark haired youth replied dryly. Under hooded eyes, he watched the man like a hawk.

“You apparently neglected to tell her about us. And somehow she seems to have gotten the impression that *I* am trying to get into your pants. Which would be kinda funny considering that we broke it off the day I found out you were screwing around one of my best friends behind my back,” Xander added.

“NO! You broke it off!” Riley shot to his feet angrily. His face was dark with rage. “I warned you that I wasn't gonna let you get away with leaving me.”

“Riley, you were getting married to Buffy the next day! What the hell did you think I was gonna do?! Drag you back to my bed for one last night of passion?! You lied to me. And you were lying all the time to Buffy.” The Slayerette said incredulously.

“She didn't have to know!” The large blonde man replied insistently. His face softened as he moved closer. “Look Xander, we had a good thing going. And we can still have it again. And Buffy still don't have to know,” he said softly. His face was triumphant at the wild blush that glowed under Xander's skin.

God, how he loved bringing that look to his former lover's face. The day he met the handsome young construction worker would live forever in his mind. Glistening with sweat, dirty face and those broad shoulders...he almost came in his pants. It took him but a few minutes of seemingly casual conversation and subtle questions before he had the answer he was looking for. And then he had Xander's digits.

Four weeks of bliss, of fucking and being fucked was all he had. And he had to screw things up. Trying to be the perfect soldier. In trying to make sure that ice bitch, Dr. Walsh, suspicious eyes were lulled he started being visibly seen chatting with Buffy. How in the hell was he supposed to know that her and Xander were friends? It wasn't his fault. And things just started spiraling out of control from the instant he was face to face with Xander, with Buffy hanging eagerly on his arm.

But he still convinced Xander to hold on...that was letting her down gently. That he wasn't in fact screwing her brains out every chance he could get. Then came the General with that promotion. A promotion that he sweated his ass off to get.

His superior officer, made it very clear, insisting that single men simply were not promotion material. Too bad he wasn't married, was what the General had said. But in meeting General Thompson's eyes, Riley knew that his commanding officer was aware of the rumors. About him. And about Graham. And without coming right out and saying it, it was unspoken that under HIS command gay men were NOT welcome.

And gritting his teeth, he proposed to Buffy that night. Then ran to Xander's place and they fucked long into the morning. At breakfast, he laid out his plan in a very reasonable fashion. Explaining why he was marrying Buffy. Adding that there was no reason why THEY couldn't continue seeing each other.

He would never forget that look in Xander's eyes. That look of burning contempt and freezing disdain where once those soft dark eyes glowed with love. Those beautiful lips that had been hungrily kissing him, that had been stretched around his shaft were a bloodless line. Ordering him to get the hell out of his apartment.

He had fumbled excuses, words that his lover refused to hear. Steadily telling him to 'Get out!' And he had left. Sending chocolate candy, chocolate chip cookie baskets. Hell, he had even tried flowers! They were all returned, to the amusement of the deliveryguy.

The day before the wedding, he had marched over to Xander's and began banging loudly on the apartment door. Deliberately waking the neighbors. He knew that would bring his lover out. And it did.

Jerking open the door and harshly ordering him to go away. But it was all part of his plan. He knew Xander's soft heart and played it, worming his way inside. And when he was grudgingly allowed to sleep on the sofa, he simply waited until his lover was asleep before crawling into bed with him. Sweetly arousing the sleepwarmed body while his baby was still slumbering. Teasing the familiar tiny entrance to relax and he was deep inside before Xander was fully aware.

And they fucked like nothing had ever happened. Until spent he made the mistake of trying to convince Xander that things could still be the same between them. Despite being married to Buffy.

It was three weeks before he saw Xander again. The young man missed the wedding, which made Buffy at first concerned, then angry. Especially when a certain someone began hinting at another reason why her friend wasn't there.

Oops...

“Why did you tell that?” Xander asked quietly, his eyes steady on his former lover.

Riley shrugged, unconcerned about his wife. He was focused on Xander. “You left. And I wanted you back in Sunnydale. I knew she would be able to find you and bring you home. To me.” And he tried to kiss Xander, who immediately turned his head.

“She's my friend!”

“And she got you fired from your job! What kinda friend is that?!” Riley yelled, incensed.

“Because *you* convinced her that I was after your ass!”

“Oh, I did, didn't I?” The blonde smirked unrepentently.

Xander eyed him and rolled his eyes. “You're a piece of work, ya know?”

“But ya love me anyway. You know you like the bad boys.” This time Riley managed to capture Xander's lips in a greedy, openmouth kiss. “Besides, don't you wanna pay her back for getting you fired?”

The younger man blinked, understanding dawning in his eyes. “You set this up! You knew what she would do when she found out I was gay. Especially if you're planting your lies in her head!”

“Oops!” Riley grinned before grabbing Xander and tumbling them to the couch. He position Xander astride his thighs while his hungry trembling fingers hurried to unbutton the plaid shirt his lover was wearing.

Growing impatient, he finally ripped it open. His hands freezing at the twin puncture marks on a broad golden shoulder. His eyes flashed up to Xander's cold expression in horrified disbelief.

'Oops' the dark-hair man mouthed to him.

And before he had time to respond, the door crashed open and Riley's head jerked... gazing almost uncomprehendingly for a moment at Buffy's cold eyes. Scrambling to his feet, he pushed Xander aside.

“Buffy, listen I can explain...” he exclaimed desperately, holding out his hands to her pleadingly. But he backed away hurriedly when Angel appeared with an even deadlier expression. He had time for one quick look at Xander before he was force to contend with a snarling enraged vampire.

“Uhm, Angel, you might wanna save some for Buffy,” he called almost cheerfully to his mate. He turned and froze at the shattered, desolate look in his friend's eyes.

She had lost one of her best friends, Buffy thought sadly as she watched his retreating back.

As she had gazed through the two way mirror and listened to the entire conversation her face slowly froze. Then settled in a stony expression. Her dreams of being just another normal, average young woman shattered. Friend, wife, mother...gone.

//Darkchild, oh yeah//

//Listen girl
Who do you think I am?
Don't you know that he was my man?
But I chose to let him go
So why do you act like I still care about him?
Looking at me like I'm hurt
When I'm the one who said I didn't want it to work
Don't you forget I had him first?//

Was she really that stupid and so desperately in love to have believed all those lies Riley had told her? Or was she just that gullible and trusting when it came to Riley? But a wife was supposed to trust her husband, wasn't she?

And she did, despite all the late nights at 'work'. The days when he disappeared without a solid explanation other than a flimsy 'government secrecy' shit he claimed. Then to top it off, he dropped a bombshell about finding out Xander was gay and then started hinting that Xander had and still was crushin' on him.

//What are you thinking?
Do you know about us back then?
Do you know about your husband, girlfriend?
I'm not thinking 'bout him
But you married him
Do you know I made him leave?
Do you know he begged to stay with me?
He wasn't man enough for me//

Not knowing what to believe, she confronted Xander. And when she had asked had ever been crushin' on Riley she saw the truth in his eyes before he looked away. Denying that he was cruisin' after her husband. She refused to believe him when he claimed that he and Riley had been lovers. Or that he didn't want Riley. She had gotten so angry that she wound up saying a lot of nasty names.

//Listen girl
Didn't he tell you the truth?
If not then why don't you ask him?
The maybe you can be more into him
Instead of worrying about me
And hopefully you won't find
All the reasons why his love didn't count
And why we couldn't work it out//

But that wasn't enough. At least not for her. It all had ended with her storming up to his work and loudly proclaimed to everyone in sight that Xander Harris was gayer than a fuckin' fruitcake and marched in the Gay Parade. Adding as an afterthought, that he was also trying to steal her husband.

//Oh yeah
So many reasons why our love is through, yeah
What makes you think he'll be good to you, no
It makes no sense cause he will never change
Girl you better recognize the game, oh yeah//

And within a week, Willow came to her and told her about Xander losing his job. That he had been 'regretfully' let go. Given some bullshit story about cutting costs and shit. And too late she realized that she had went too far. But it was too late. Xander had disappeared into L.A. Only returning a few weeks ago. Mated to Angel.

//What are you thinking?
Do you know about us back them?
Do you know about your husband, girlfriend?
I'm not thinking 'bout him
But you married him
You know I made him leave
And you know he begged to stay with me
He wasn't man enough for me//

All because of that shithead Riley. He wasn't man enough to be straight with either of them.

Faithless, lying bastard!

She shoulda known after Faith stole her body that she couldn't trust him.

“Buffy, you want a piece of this shit?” Angel called, holding a dazed and bloody Riley up with one hand.

And Riley tried to scramble away, terrified of that wild gleam in his wife's eyes. “Yeah, if you don't mind.”

Grabbing him by the throat, she slammed him onto the floor. Looking deep into his panicky eyes, she smiled as she cocked back her fist. “I want a divorce!” She took out all her frustration on his face and body. Until finally Angel had to draw her off.

Holding her as she sobbed for the friend she had lost.


Dreams shattered, blowing away like dust.

*

And it took several months for Xander to forgive her. And while she waited, Buffy worked through her pain by watching Riley kiss his military career goodbye.

His sexual history had been well documented by an anonymous source. And was all revealed during their divorce. His affairs with Graham Miller and several other civilian men effectively destroying any chance of advancement in rank.

Golden eyes glittered excitedly the shadows as he watched the former Initiative soldier exiting his car. Pale fingers gently stroked across a bare patch of skin before the vampire sidled closer in the bushes.

Riley froze, then relaxed as Spike stepped out from the shrubbery. “Oh, it's you.” Then his face twisted in a nasty smirk. “How's hunting, Hostile 17?”

“Funny ya should ask that,” Spike gave the other his most charming look. Then smashed his fist in the blonde's face. Then whistling cheerfully, he tied Riley's hands and feet together before grabbing Riley's unconscious body and hauling the burly blonde over his shoulders. Sauntering to his car, he unlocked the trunk and dumped the man space, moving Graham's body over to make more room.

And he smiled lovingly at the picture they made. He stroked gentle fingers across their cheeks before closing the trunk.

It took some doing, nagging really but he was finally free of the chip. All he could do was just stonily repeat to that bloody do-gooder that he wanted the chip out. Growling at anything else the soddin' wanker had to say. Making a right nuisance of himself until he got his way. Like he knew he would. Peaches was too distracted by his new boy and just wanted him to go away.

Now he had his two boys all to himself, just the way he planned so carefully. He drove quickly to an abandoned house outside of Sunnydale.

And one by one, he picked each up and carried them into the basement. He arranged them just so and paused to admire his handiwork before waking them.

“Wakey, wakey...” he crooned softly to the blonde, then the other man.

Groaning Riley blinked. He blearily focused on blue eyes glowing with brilliant icy fire. Belatedly registering Hostile 17. His mouth opened, then slowly closed in horror when Spike slowly turned in a circle. Showing off a patch of shaven, bare skin on his skull.

“Like it? Me grandSire found this real, clever doctor! Man's a fuckin' genius.” Spike laughed softly at the looks on the men's face. He could hear their hearts racing in terror as they took in all the shining instruments hanging from the walls.

Strapped down and unable to fight back.

He swore he would come back for them. And he did. He would return the favor of all the rapes he endured while chipped. Unable to defend himself.

And he was too damn proud and stubborn to admit what happened to Angel.

“You know what's the best part...out here, no one can hear you scream,” Spike whispered as his eyes slowly shifted to gold. Pulling a long gleaming knife from under the table where he had bound the two men, he approached them. Their screams of pain a symphony that played in the background as he worked long into the night on his two masterpieces.

Finishing with a flourish, he stepped back and sighed in admiration at his handiwork. Angelus would be so proud of him.

Then he snapped a picture for his private collection with bloody fingers. They were only the first on his list. All the soldier boys that raped him was on his list. No one treated a Master Vampire like a fucktoy.

No one.



END