Title: Here We Go Again

Author: Belynda

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Pairing X/A

Rating: R

Status: New, unbeta'd.

Archive: Yes to CKoS

Series: Part 3 in the I Love you Dead Boy series.

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. But I can dream.

Summary: Xander has to make a few decisions about Dead boy. What to do?

Here We Go Again
by Belynda

*That bitch. I hate her.* Xander thought as he watched Buffy snuggle up against *his* lover. *She's got no right to him. He's mine!* But even as he thought of how he could get her away from Angel, he knew that it was for her that he wasn't the one standing by Angel's side. Her and Cordy.

Sighing he relaxed back further into the shadows and took a sip of his coke. *What to do? I want him, last night proved that. God, did it ever. Making love in a empty house, no noise except for your breathing and the occasional moan. Okay, more than the occasional moan. Being fucked within an inch of your life. No. No. That's not right. We... we made love. And it was the most beautiful experience that has ever happened to me.

*And I told him to leave. And that it could never happen again. Yet, as I sit here, my pants are going to have a permanent tenting in them just from my thinking about last night. A fool I am. I want him and I can't have him. Not when *they* stand between us.* Another soft sigh and he looked up. Straight into Angel's eyes.

Unable to look away, he saw that his desire was returned. Dead Boy wanted him just as badly as he wanted Dead boy. And even as Buffy stood pressed up against his front as they swayed to the music, he was sure that Dead Boy was only thinking about him and no one else. Their eyes stayed locked for several long moments, until Buffy said something and their eyes broke contact.

Shaking, he put his glass on the table in case he spilled it. Licking dry lips, he wondered if he should leave now or continue to be tortured by the sight of Buffy and Dead Boy dancing together. *What could be worse? Watching them dance together, or imagining them dancing together? And later, when they leave here....I wonder if they will go back to his apartment.*

"Stop it! It doesn't help to think about it."

"Hey kid, you all right?"

Startled Xander looked up into the face of the bartender. Blushing furiously at being caught talking to him self, he nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Okay then. This is for you." The bartender placed a fresh glass of coke on the table and took the almost warmish coke that he had been nursing.

"I didn't order that. You must have me mixed up with someone else." He tried to explain, although he wouldn't mind a fresh glass of coke.

"Nope. A guy ordered it for you. Oh, yeah, here's the note that goes with it." He handed Xander the note, and noted that Xander recognized the handwriting on the top of the note. "Don't go getting mixed up in something you are prepared for. You're still young. Got plenty of time to do things later."

Blushing again, Xander mumbled something and the bartender left with a shrug. Turning the note over in his hands, he tried to guess at what it could say. Curious, he looked up trying to search for Dead Boy. But he could see no sign of either him or Buffy. Biting his lip, he slowly broke the seal on the envelope and opened it. It said "Leave the window to your bedroom open tonight. Don't disappoint me. A."

Gulping, he looked around him, as if someone could guess what the note said and would be disapproving of it. But no one paid him any attention. Carefully folding the note, he stood and slipped it into his front pocket. Taking several long draws on the cold coke, after all Dead Boy had brought it for him, he licked his lips and headed home. To wait. How could he do anything but.

**********

Once home Xander carefully placing the note into his diary with a quickly jotted note. Placing it back into it's hiding place, he took in the time. 11.14. Shrugging out of his jacket and top he stood facing the window. He had to decide what he was going to do. Open the window and maybe have a repeat of the night before. Or keep the window closed and by doing so, telling Dead Boy that he meant what he had said the night before. What to do?

**********

Cool lips moved along his shoulder as they kissed a trail across his kiss. *Not a bad why to wake up, * Xander thought then stilled. The cool lips out only belong to one person. Well, one Vampire.

Turning over, he briefly saw the dark hair and pale skin, before his lips where taken in a bruising kiss. A kiss he whole heartenly responded to. Arching up into that cold naked chest. Wrapping his arms around the firm neck. Opening his lips wider for the cold tongue of his lover. He wanted more. And his lover gave it to him.

Kissing all of his body, making sure that each part was caressed, kissed. Preparing him slowly, thoroughly. Entering him with such tenderness, that he could only gaze up in wonder as he was took. Wrapping his legs around that cool waist as he offered his lips for another passionate kiss.

Shouting as he felt his lover flood him with cold semen. Crying out as his own body pulsed and released it's load onto their stomach's and chests. Moaning contently as they tenderly kiss while waiting for their bodies to come down off that incredible high.

And again no words where spoken.

**********

"Hey Xand, how's it hanging." Buffy's voice broke through Xander intense concentration.

"Hi Buff. Low and to the left. How are things?" *You bitch. How dare you stand there glowing in the fact that you are Dead Boys girlfriend? He doesn't belong to you. Get over it.*

"Yet another assignment for English. You would think that teachers had something better to do than give out assignments all the time." She rattled on some more about her classes, then looked around the library. "The others not here yet?"

*Well, give her a ten for that great deduction.* "No. So how was last night? Slay many Vampires?"

"A few. A quite night really. Angel helped me for a bit but then he had to leave. Something about a prior engagement I think he said." Buffy carried on, clueless to the fact the Xander's face had turned a nice red color.

*Well, at least you know he didn't sleep with her last night. God, are they sleeping together? How can I find out? Willow would be the best way to go. No way am I risking my neck asking him. I'll just have-*

"Xander, have you been listening to what I've just said? Where were you?" Buffy demanded, hating the fact that she wasn't the center of his attention for once.

Saved from replying by the arrival of Willow and Cordy, he relaxed in his chair and once Giles joined them, listened to what they had planned for today.

**********

Yawning yet again, Xander felt the full heat of Giles gaze. "Sorry. Didn't catch much z's last night." *And I wouldn't have had it any other way.*

"Maybe Xander, you should try going to bed earlier. Then you would find you won't be so tired the next day." Giles said in his polite way of tell Xander he was disappointed in him and it had better not happen again. Looking around, the teacher decided that as the street was empty, he might as well ask Xander how he was doing.

He received a look for his question that told him to butt out. But he couldn't do that. Something had obviously been bothering the young man lately and even Buffy had remarked on it. Being out on stakeout may not be the best time, but it was quite. "Is there anything going on in your life that you might want to talk to me about? You might find I'm a good listener."

Knowing Giles well enough to know that he wouldn't give up, Xander decided to tell him some of the truth. "Cordy and I decided to stop seeing each other."

"Oh. Oh. I'm sorry Xander. I thought you two were really suited together."

A bark of laughter escaped before he could stop it. "Well suited? No, we were never well suited Giles. The attraction was there but we more often than not didn't connect on other things. It just came to a head the other night."

"Well I'm sorry Xander. I know it must be hard breaking up a relationship. Who knows? You might meet someone else and forget about Cordelia. Or vice versa."

Pulling up his collar, Xander muttered, not intending for Giles to hear. "Well one of us has already met someone else. And that is the true reason for the break up. No matter what she says." Not knowing that Giles had heard every whispered word and was in shock. "Giles, I'm going to head home, man. It's getting late. I'll see you tomorrow. Night."

"Eh, good night Xander." Shocked that Codelia could be so weak in character as to tell Xander that she was already seeing someone at the time of their break up, he decided he would have words with her tomorrow. It never hurt give an opinion on a matter. Not at all.

**********