TITLE: Holiday Inn

AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker

EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com

DISTRIBUTION: Please ask.

RATING: NC17

CONTENT: M/M (Xander/Angel)

SUMMARY: Xander makes a trip to L.A. for Christmas.

SPOILERS: All of Buffy and Angel, especially "Hero"

FEEDBACK: Please! Like I've said before, I'm entirely dependent on it, and I get cranky if I dont get enough!

DEDICATION: As always when it comes to Xander/Angel, this fic is dedicated to my favorite X/A loving priestess..you know who you are, you pervert you ;P

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Joss owns everything. Enough said.

NOTE: Everything I write right now tends to be angtsy about Doyle, so it starts out as such and then turns kinda PWPish.

Also, this is in response to a challenge by the List Daddy of AngelSlash, a great list. Happy Holidays to all!

Holiday Inn
by Rebecca Parker

Angel Investigations, the sign read.

Xander wasn't sure what he was doing here. It was Christmas Eve, and he really should have been at home camping out on the lawn. Avoiding his family. The usual Christmas stuff.

Instead he was here in Los Angeles, at the door of the company his ex girlfriend worked at.

He sighed as he placed his hand on the doorknob. Now he remembered why he was here. Seeing how badly Willow had reacted to finding Oz and Veruca together had brought up old memories. Memories of how badly he had hurt Cordelia, and Xander couldn't let go of that guilt no matter what.

He opened the door, walking inside. The place was empty. Obviously, their business wasn't that lucrative. "Hello?", Xander said, as he walked further into the office.

"Can I help you?", a voice said, walking out of the back room. "Xander," Angel said, running a nervous hand through his hair. "Hey," he said. "Is something wrong. Is Buffy ok?", he asked, worry crossing his face.

Xander smiled. Angel always had Buffy on his mind. "Yeah, she's good. Actually, I came here to see Cordelia. Is she around?", he asked.

Angel shook his head. "No, she's out for the day. I gave her the day off."

"Oh," Xander said. "I was hoping to talk to her. I just...wanted to apologize."

"Apologize for what?", Angel asked. Cordelia hadn't mentioned being mad about Xander, and Angel knew that if she was, he would have heard about it.

"Old issues," Xander said, fidgeting nervously. "I just...felt bad about the way things went between us in the past. I guess I just wanted to make amends with her. I mean, we parted on good terms and all, but I still feel bad about things."

Angel smiled. He knew something about wanting to make amends. Didn't they all? Some people even died trying to, he thought, with a sigh.

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about that. I'm sure she'd tell you the same thing if she was here, but things have been slow lately, and she..well, she hasn't been in the best of moods lately. Ever since Doyle."

Xander looked at Angel, confused. "Ever since Doyle? Is that code for something?"

Angel winced. "No," Angel said. "Remember the guy who I work with who had the vision about Buffy being in trouble?" Xander nodded. "Well, that was him. And he died. About a month ago," Angel said, looking Xander over.

"Well, Cordelia..she took it hard. They had been getting close, you know?", Angel said, trying not to upset Xander. He didn't know if the boy still had feelings for her, and more than anything, Angel knew that it was painful to have your nose rubbed in your ex's new relationship.

"Oh," Xander said, leaning on the desk. "Sorry to hear about that. How did it happen?"

Angel sighed. "I'm sorry Xander. I don't mean to be rude, but its not something I really want to talk about. Cordelia's not the only one that's taking it hard right now."

Xander felt like such an idiot. He should have known that it would have been hard on Angel also. "I'm really sorry," Xander said. "Look, I can go if you want me to."

Now Angel felt like the idiot. "No," Angel said. "Please. Stay. Its been a while since I had someone around here to talk to. I mean...a guy. Guy talk. Not that Doyle and I ever did the guy talk thing. It was more like...this demon's in town and oh...this vampire cult is getting too big for their britches. The only non demon thing Doyle and I ever really talked about was Cordelia."

Xander had to almost bite his tongue not to comment.

"I guess I thought we would have time for the male bonding stuff later," Angel said, looking at Xander. "And the funny thing is, and this is going to sound really ironic coming from someone that's immortal, but I realized, life is short. Unfortunately, its not always yours."

Xander shook his head. "Yeah," was all he could say. He knew that Angel really didn't want to continue the conversation and Xander was at a loss for words. He couldn't bring up Buffy. He was sure that wouldn't cheer Angel up.

Especially if he found out how close she had been getting to Riley.

"So, you have Christmas plans?", Xander asked, wondering why he had asked such a stupid question.

Angel was in a world of his own, thinking of Doyle. He had heard what Xander had asked, but he didn't register it. "Hmm?", he said, looking at Xander. "What did you say?"

"I said...", Xander began, but he was stopped by Angel pressing his lips against his.

Xander was taken aback by Angel's action. Never in a million years had Xander imagined his day would end up like this. Angel was kissing him. Dead Boy had his cold lips pressed against his. And it felt good. Xander felt amazed that he didn't even feel the smallest inkling of desire to pull away.

But Angel did. He pulled out of the kiss, a tear running down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Angel said. "I don't know why I did that."

Xander reached his hand over to Angel. "Could it be because you miss him?"

That was it. Angel missed Doyle. Not that he and Doyle had ever kissed, but he missed being close to another male. And Angel, having lived over 200 years, was haunted night after night by the possibilities of what could have been. And his relationship with Doyle had ended so abruptly that there were a lot of things that could have been and would never be.

"I guess," Angel said, running his fingers over Xander's warm skin.

"But...I think...maybe its you too. I mean. I don't know," Angel said. "I moved to L.A. so things would be more clear, but all they've gotten is more confusing. I miss Sunnydale so much and for so many different reasons. Not only Buffy, but I felt like I made a difference there. Here...I feel like no matter how many lives I save, its just a drop in the bucket. And..I guess I missed you too," Angel said, bringing his hand up to Xander's cheek and resting it there.

Xander didn't know what to say. He knew he should pull away and go home...be miserable and mope about how all of the sudden he didn't feel needed anymore. Instead, he pulled himself to Angel again, leaving a soft kiss there. "I missed you too," he said. "My sarcastic retorts have really suffered since you left town."

Angel laughed. "Yeah, I was just thinking the other day how I haven't been verbally abused in a few weeks. Although you really got me with the evil comment at Thanksgiving."

Xander smiled. "That was the syphilis talking."

"Syphilis?", Angel asked, grinning. "Aftereffects of having sex with Faith?"

"Ha ha," Xander said. "So, now I've seen you on Thanksgiving and now Christmas Eve. Would you mind if I spent Christmas with you?"

Angel smiled. "Not at all," he said. "We could have fun. Drink egg nog or something."

"Or something," Xander said, grinning evilly. "It's been a while since I spent a Christmas properly."

Angel nodded. Buffy had told him once upon a time about Xander's dysfunctional family and how Xander spent his holidays. He had wanted to go and beat some sense into his parents until they realized what a great son they had, but he hadn't. He had been fixated on Buffy then and had pushed to the side the latent feelings he had for Xander.

"Well, I'll try my best to make this a memorable one," Angel said, sliding his hand up Xander's thigh.

Xander started to tense up. He felt like he was in an alternate dimension or something and Xander briefly thought of Anya. They had broken up a week ago. Their little spat at Thanksgiving about vengeance demons had really put a kink in their relationship.

And now here he was, someone he thought he had hated now had his hand roaming close to Xander's now bulging erection. A man, no less. Xander had never had a homosexual relationship before, and he wasn't sure how to go about it. But he felt right with Angel, like he would learn as he went along.

"I hope so," Xander said, getting up and pulling Angel close to him, pressing his lips against Angel's. "Hold on one second," Xander said, breaking out of the kiss and walking away from Angel towards the door.

Angel was struck with the sudden fear that Xander was leaving, but his fears were put to rest when he realized that Xander had just gone to lock the door. He was shaking all over, he couldn't believe this was happening. But it was, and Angel couldn't wait until his hands were on Xander again.

"Don't want to be interrupted," Xander said, grinning. "Although if you have a chimney, maybe she would worry about Santa Clause."

"Santa Clause isn't real," Angel said, laughing.

"Yeah, well my mom told me that the same time she told me vampires weren't real, so I've changed my mind on the topic," Xander said, running his hands down the length of Angel's pants, resting against the bulge in Angel's pants.

All of the sudden, Xander felt strange. Different. Bold. In all his other sexual relationships, he had felt weak. Powerless. He had pretty much laid back and let things be done to him. But now he felt different. He felt powerful.

"Is that my Christmas present from you?", Xander asked, smiling as he got down on his knees.

"Your first of many," Angel said, starting to tremble from the anticipation. It had been so long since he had received a blow job. He had to think back all the way to his original Angelus days. Of course, he and Buffy had never done anything like this. She wasn't the type.

"Good," Xander said, pulling Angel's pants down to his knees. "I like presents," he said. "I have one for you myself," he said, pulling himself closer to Angel's bulging member. As if he had done it a million times before, when in reality, he had never, he placed his mouth on Angel's hard cock, letting the shaft slip slowly into his mouth. Almost teasingly, he let his tongue slide along it.

"Oh God," Angel said, his breathing becoming erratic. This wouldn't last long. He had almost cum as soon as he had felt Xander's lips on his shaft. "Xander...I...I don't know how long I can hold out," he said. "Its been so long."

Xander smiled as he placed Angel's dick back in his mouth. He moved his hand over to Angel's balls and started to fondle him, his cheeks expanding as he forced more of Angel's length into his mouth. He didn't care how long this lasted, he knew it would be a long night and that Angel would have many presents to give him.

Angel hadn't been lying. He didn't last long, and as he came into Xander's mouth, he intertwined his fingers in Xander's hair. "Oh God," he said. "That was incredible. I mean...wow. Is there something you haven't been telling me about you and Giles or something?", he asked, smiling as Xander rose to his feet.

Xander licked his lips, enjoying his first taste of cum. "No," Xander said. "I've never thought about another guy but you," he said, walking over to the desk and picking up his wallet which he had left there when he walked in.

"Now," Xander said, grinning as he pulled something out of it. "The best thing about Christmas is finding what's in your stocking," he said, walking over to Angel and placing something in his hand.

Angel looked down and stared at the condom that Xander had placed there. "Oh, I think I have an idea of what you want in your stocking," Angel said, grinning.

"I think you do," Xander said, smiling. "But can we go a little somewhere more comfortable? And private?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah. We can go downstairs to my apartment," he said, taking Xander by the hand and walking towards the elevator.

Once inside, the passion began to heat up again. The whole trip down, which only lasted a few seconds, Angel's hand had found its way to Xander's erection, fondling it through his pants.

Xander smiled as the doors to the elevator opened and he walked into Angel's apartment. "Nice," he said. "Has a very brooding look to it. Fits you well."

Angel pulled his hand away from Xander. "Very funny. Well, I promise you there wont be any brooding tonight. Unless of course, it turns you on."

Xander smiled. "Well, its part of your charm." Xander spotted something in the corner of the room and looked at it strangely. "Is that what I think it is?", he asked.

Angel nodded. "Yeah. I've never really gotten a Christmas Tree before, but this seems to be the year of firsts, so I thought why not."

"The year of firsts, indeed," Xander said, bending down to examine the gifts lying underneath the tree. There were only a few there, but he noticed the names on them. Buffy. Willow. Giles. Xander.

"These gifts...there for us?", Xander asked, looking up at Angel with a strange look on his face.

Angel knelt down next to Xander and picked up the gift for Xander. "Yeah, well I bought them. I wasn't going to send them though. I'm supposed to be doing the keeping my distance thing, you know?", he said, frowning.

Xander looked over at the gift in Angel's hand. "Can I...open it?", he asked.

Angel smiled, handing the package to Xander. "Sure," he said. "Although I think you'll like the other gift I'm going to give you better."

"I'm sure I will," Xander said, smiling. "But I'm not one to pass up a present." Xander took the gift from Angel and quickly unwrapped it. When he saw what was in the box, he was speechless. Which was a very very rare thing for Xander Harris to be.

"Angel," he said. "It's...she told you?" Xander said as he removed the folded up tent from the box.

"I thought you could use it," Angel said. "Even though you wont need it this Christmas. And any Christmas, any holiday, I want you to know you're welcome here."

"Thank you," Xander said, reaching up to Angel and kissing him again.

"You know I'll be back."

They spent the rest of the night exchanging "presents". And for one night, Angel was able to get past the pain he had been left with since Doyle died. And that was the best present Xander could ever give him.

Angel could hardly wait until New Years Eve.

END