Title: If That's Destiny On The Phone, I'm Not Home!

by BuffyAngel168

(Sequel to Life After 1 & 2) BtVs/Angel crossover

Rating: PG-13, maybe a very mild R for a little touch of spicy talk, scary stuff and/or violence in later chapters.

Category: Angst/Romance/Adventure

Spoilers: Only "The Gift", end epi. of last WB season.

Attribution: Joss Whedon, holy lord of all creative, intelligent minds, (may we worship him always!) owns all of them, not me. Yada- Yada-Yada- not making money- will return them in a much happier state than I found them, emotionally and otherwise.

Summary: My ideal conception of the Season Six start and subsequent adventures. (I may throw in my own musical bits and pieces, but I couldn't top "Once More With Feeling" in a million years, so I am seriously considering not even trying!)

Feedback (and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism) is welcome via e-mail. R&R and enjoy my (I think) improvements to what turned out to be, in the majority, a dreary, sad and dark season.

Timeline: Late September/Early October 2001



If That's Destiny On The Phone, I'm Not Home!
by BuffyAngel68



FRIDAY NIGHT

"It's just a half inch. Nothing to get so frustrated over, Alex. You can try it once more if you like, but don't feel you have to."

Sweat running in rivers off nearly every inch of his body, Alex Summers slowly straightened out of a low crouch, stepped lightly into the chalk box with his left foot and turned to face his nemesis of the moment; the heavy punching bag. Breathing deeply, he gathered himself and launched another kick at the offending object, then stepped close and gazed critically at the mark his foot had left. With a grunt of dissatisfaction, he tugged the towel off his waist, swiped at the mark and walked away mopping his face.

"Take a break, alright? We'll work on balance after you've caught your breath."

"Break? I need a three day weekend."

"Yes, well you know what I can make of one of those. A break will do fine, thank you."

"Very funny. I will hit that mark, sen-sei. I will. I swear it."

"You're pushing yourself much harder than I am, Alex. You do know that? It's only been eight weeks. You've come much further in this short time than I could ever have hoped. Slow down a bit. Give your mind and body time enough to process and integrate all you've learned, time to make it a permanent part of you, then we'll move on."

"I know. I just feel like... the others have started to look at me differently. I kind of.... like being the leader. Don't get me wrong, them turning to me to take point is still rarer than Spike in a tanning booth, but.... I like knowing I can say yes when they do ask. I can actually protect you and the gang. It makes me want to be better, learn faster.... so I can be out in front more."

Grinning lightly at his student, Rupert Giles replaced a stray piece of equipment or two and tossed out a casual reply.

"My, my. And not a bottle of German beer in sight, never mind a six-pack."

"Okay, okay. I'll get it off your chest for you. You told me so. You're not the only one lately, either."

"Hmm? What does that mean?"

"Sometimes.... it's like I can feel Buffy here, like she's right at my shoulder while I train. I get the impression.... she's good with me doing this, with all of it. It's probably my vivid imagination, you know, but.... believing that makes it easier."

"Fascinating. I didn't want to say anything..... I suppose I was afraid you or William would think I was grieving again, but I've felt her presence several times in the past fortnight. I got the same sense of.... approval. It seemed to be a confirmation of sorts that going forward and rebuilding my life was precisely the right thing to do."

"That's it. I couldn't think of the right word. She approves. Okay, I can breathe again. Are we doing the same balance kata as last time?"

"Why don't we change it up a bit? Let's reverse the order of transition and I'll make the last position a surprise."

"A pop quiz, you mean. Funny. I used to hate those. Suddenly a pop quiz that could save my life, and I don't mind so much."

"Nor will I, if you learn this well. Let's go. Move into the halfway point of... that's right. Very good. Steady. Relax. Alright, sixty seconds starts now...."

As he slowly worked his way through the eight minute balance exercise, Alex reveled in doing all the things he'd never known his body was capable of; the stretch and flex of muscle captivated him, the minute differences he felt as he moved from one pose to the next intrigued him. The sensations were so novel that they waylaid him anew every session, making every successive workout as fresh and fun as the first.

He now understood why everyone, himself included, had always considered him awkward and clumsy; he had never cared enough about the world he moved through to care how he moved through it. Now, balance, grace and economy of movement were becoming part of him, the world was a very different place when he went out into it and his past had taken on its proper perspective.

Not only was he enjoying his training sessions, he had begun to crave them. For those six hours a week, he was in touch with his body in a way he'd never believed was possible, and now that he knew what it was like, he was more and more reluctant to let it go with each week that passed.

"Time's up. You can relax, Alex. That was excellent work. Your form is only getting better and I can almost see your strength increasing. I'm very proud of you. So proud, in fact, that I've arranged a special reward for your diligence."

"Really? What? Do I get an extra session this week?"

The excitement in the young man's voice drew a soft chuckle from Giles.

"Not quite. You've had your pop quiz. Now for your first test. I've contacted a local master, and on Monday you'll be showing him what you've learned. If you come up to his standard, he's agreed to offer you something very special as an... award of sorts."

"Do this in front of someone else? In front of a stranger, yet? I don't know about.... it's only been a few weeks, Rupert. I don't think I'm anywhere near ready for that."

"I think you are."

His rich, mellow voice tinged with just the slightest edge of good humor, an ebony-haired, powerfully built man stepped out of the shadows of the empty shop and into the relative brightness of the training center. The moment he saw him, Alex's face lit up and he ran to greet the newcomer. In deference to his sweaty condition, he grasped the vampire's hand instead of embracing him

"Angel. Man, it is so good to see you. You look fantastic."

"You too, Alex. It's been too long. I do like the name change, by the way; both parts. It suits you."

"Glad you approve, 'cause you could give me game face till SunnyHell freezes over and I wouldn't change it back now. Hang in, okay? I'll go hop in and out of the shower and be right with you." Alex chuckled, striding out of the room.

Angel raised an eyebrow at Giles, but got only a shy half-smile and lowered eyes in response.

"What have you done with Xander? That's not him."

"Not anymore. You saw the whole session?"

"Most of it. You're sure he's only been doing this eight weeks? The changes are amazing."

"It's the ones you can't see that impress me the most. A loss such as we've all suffered.... it does force one to grow and make changes before one is really ready. His..... evolution was unexpected."

"Necessary."

"Yes. I think so. I never thought of Xander as weak, really. In some ways, he was extremely courageous and very sweet, but he was insecure, uncertain of himself and his role in the world. Alex is wiser, stronger and far more sure of his direction. I liked Xander a great deal, but if the truth were told...."

"You love Alex?"

"Lord, yes..." Giles murmured softly, then blushed furiously as he tried to reverse course and erase all evidence of what he'd just said. "I mean.... you have to understand that I...."

"It's alright, Giles. Minus the most interesting details, I know about how the four of you re-defined "lost weekend", and I'm not angry. A little confused, maybe. Mildly amused that Wesley was back at work Tuesday, but couldn't sit in an un-cushioned chair for more than two seconds until Friday, oh yeah. But, angry? No. I tried to get Spike to tell me more about it, but he turned into problem childe. He never talks when you want him to, never knows when to shut up if you don't. He claimed it wasn't his place to tell me how or why he ended up living in your house."

"Yes, well, it's a long depressing story involving too much Stoly, too much self-pity and far, far too much of the Sex Pistols and AC\DC. You're better off ignorant."

"Curiouser and curiouser. I was gonna find a hotel for the weekend, but I'm thinking your couch will be a much more interesting place to be. If you don't mind, of course." Angel asked, throwing Rupert a wicked grin.

"No. Come and stay if you like. We've gotten better. We only lose one or two hour blocks now, instead of whole weekends. Much easier to find afterwards and safer for all concerned."

"Ugh!" Angel laughed. "I can see who's been influencing your sense of humor."

"I admit it. Don't mind a bit either. His is better than mine. What... what else did William tell you?"

"Like I said, not much. I know they put a petition before the PTB's, but not the purpose or what the results were. It couldn't have been too bad if they came out alive. Because of that, I probably would have been down here soon, even if you hadn't called to ask this favor. Cordy and Spike are both pointing at you as the answer man."

"Answer man?"

"The one who has to give his permission before most of the juicy stuff hits my ears. So? Give, Giles. All the gory details. No vamp pun intended."

"Hmmm. The little brats, leaving the dangerous part up to me.... I'll skip the majority of the tale, if you don't mind. Someday when you're bored to the point of sunbathing, I'll ring you up and we'll discuss it. Let's see. I'll begin at the beginning, as they say.... Two months ago, I was still grieving deeply over Buffy. Too deeply. I was also struggling with... personal issues. Spi.... William arrived at my door unexpectedly, nudged me out of my pain and we.... we made love, which reconciled my issues quite satisfactorily and permanently. That day, he surrendered a place in himself he had never opened or given to anyone, not even you or Drusilla, apparently. According to the Powers That Be, that earned him the restoration of his soul. The irony of all this is, that was what his petition was about in the first place."

"My God. You can't be.... Spike? Spike has his soul."

"Yes, it struck me that way as well. He's thrilled. He says now he can be sure that in a moment of anger he won't hurt me or Alex. He also found out something quite interesting about you. You aren't genuinely cursed."

"Of course I am, Giles. You know that better than anyone."

"Let me explain. Understand, this is a mixture of reasearch on my part and William's faintly garbled interpretation of what he heard. When a human is turned, they carry their most painful, their deepest emotional wound with them from life into unlife. If, at any time, they are able to confront and achieve closure on that issue and find a measure of peace and joy, then their soul might be restored. Dependent, of course on a number of other factors. All the gypsies did in your case was to take what already existed within you, and.... twist it, in an absolutely heinous manner. When you begin to heal your inner conflicts and find that higher level of peace and happiness, your soul is ripped away from you."

"So.... my biggest emotional issue in life... was that I wasn't happy?"

"It would seem so. You might put some thought to it."

"Yeah. You haven't told any of the others?"

"Are you insane? I want them eliminating the demons, not dragging them to the nearest phone so they can call Dr. Laura. Wait a minute. I just realized you showed no surprise whatsoever when I told you I'm...."

"I knew; before you even started fighting with yourself about it, probably. Two hundred plus years of observing the human condition, you learn to see in other people what even they don't know about themselves. The fact that it happened with Spike.... that surprises me no end."

"And you think I anticipated it? It turns out he and I are Khean-nar- Viroque. So the powers say, at any rate."

"Shard of the Soul? You're kidding. That's.... cool. I'm happy for both of you."

Just as Alex reappeared in his street clothes, Giles' cell phone rang. Alex sat beside Angel while the watcher walked off, talking quietly to whoever was on the other end.

"So. Do I get to know what my reward is, or are you going to torture me and make me wait until I pass on Monday night?"

"You're so sure you will?"

"Not positive, but I've come a long way in two months. Almost everything he's shown me, I can do just like he wants it."

"Almost?"

"I'm still working on a new kick. I can't get it as high as I need to yet, but I will."

"I believe it. We'll see just how much you've learned on Monday. I'm not an easy judge, I'll warn you. If this burst of confidence is all bravado and hot air..... I'll know."

"It isn't. Giles isn't exactly Mr. Light and Breezy, especially if he thinks I'm getting lazy or giving up too fast. I've got the bruises to prove it, too. Well? What do I get for going through this nerve-wracking little test of yours? C'mon, cryptic message guy. Give it up."

Angel grinned broadly on hearing the old nickname the Scooby gang had placed on him before they discovered his true one. The memories were mostly good ones, and he knew Alex had tossed out the phrase specifically to make him smile, something the group had always complained he never did enough of.

"You may not think so highly of it when you hear it. Your reward is in two parts. One; I'm prepared to take over as your trainer for the next week, and boy, if you thought you hated me when I went nasty, when Friday night hits you will personally want to send me back to hell. Two; you'll have an open invitation to come up to L.A. one weekend a month for a couple hours of one-on-one weapons instruction and beginner Tai-Chi."

The look of astonishment and utter zeal in the younger man's face surprised Angel even more than watching him work out had.

"You're... you're serious. Tell me you aren't playing me. Angel, buddy, you aren't are you? You really mean it?"

"Of course I mean it, Alex. I almost thought twice about offering the personal work. That was before I watched you go through that balance kata. The intensity and the joy in your face just about decided me. It's clear how badly you want this and how hard you're willing to work for it. Monday's test will nail it down."

"Oh my God.... I swear, I'll pass that test, Angel. My colors will be flying all over the place! Thank you! You can't know what this offer means to me." Alex enthused, embracing Angel tightly for a brief moment.

"You haven't earned it yet."

"I can. You just wait."

Just then, Giles returned, closing up his cell phone. The disturbed frown that creased his brow made the other two men concerned.

"Sen-sei? What is it? Something up?"

"Yes. That was William. He wasn't very clear about why, but he's in considerable pain. Something about the Powers and a job he's been neglecting. He needs me."

Grabbing his gym bag, Alex stood and Angel followed the pair out to their car.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"William? Where are you?"

"In the.....gahhhh! In the bloody kitchen, which is gonna be literal in a freakin' minute.... Hang on. I'm comin' out."

When Spike stumbled out into the living room clutching his temples, Giles paled instantly and ran to him, supporting his lover to the couch.

"Dear God.... what's going on here? What is this about something you didn't do for the Powers That Be?"

"Okay! I'm doin' it now, ain't I? Would ya stop tryin' to push my brain out through my nose?!" Spike screeched, staring up at the ceiling.

Grinning lightly, Angel glanced briefly at Giles and reassured him.

"He'll be alright, Rupert. This is just the PTB's way of sending a message. Cordelia calls it eeeouch!-mail. So, my soul-brother. What did you forget that's got the Powers sending you a pain-gram?"

"I didn't forget.... I wasn't sure what it'd do.... they didn't say what would happen if.... damn! I can't take this.... Whatever happens here, Angel, we can't stop it or interfere. You get me? We're out of it once I give 'em these things." Spike groaned, digging in a pocket for the stick pins.

"I understand. No interference."

"Alex. C'mere.... an' hold yer hand out. You too, Rupe. If this gets really revolting, boys, I'm sorry in advance, 'kay?"

The moment Spike dropped a pin into each man's outstretched palm, his pain vanished. Stunned, he watched the eyes of his friends glaze over as they removed the covers that protected the points of the pins, held them sharp end down and drove the pins through their respective hands.

When Spike lunged forward, desperate to try and heal the pain he perceived Rupert to be in, Angel held him down, forcing him to stay still until the process concluded and the pins faded away, leaving only a small red circle where they had been.

"Rupert? Alex? You two alright?"

"Huh? Yeah... I guess so. What happened?" Alex asked groggily, shaking his head to clear it and scratching vaguely at the angry spot in his palm.

"I'm not sure. Giles. Giles, you back with us?"

"Yes. I'm.... I'm fine. What in heavens' name was that?"

"Powerful magic of some kind, obviously." Angel supplied. "How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly well, actually. I... I can't remember ever feeling better."

"Alex?"

"Yeah. Same here. I feel great. I'm usually starting to tense up about this time after a training session. Tonight... nothing. It's weird, but I'm not complaining."

"No. Neither am I." Giles asserted. "Not in the slightest. William. You are alright, now?" he said, gently stroking the younger vampire's temples in an effort to soothe away any lingering pain. When Spike began to do the same to Rupert's left palm, the watcher took slight notice, but kept his focus on the other man. The movement was something Spike had started doing recently to calm his lover in tense situations, and Giles had found it worked better than any anti-anxiety pill or potion he'd ever taken.

The first time Spike had touched his hand this way, the older man had half-expected the easy, random motions to stir intense sexual feelings, but all he'd ever felt was affection and deepening love. He realized not long afterwards that, especially around strangers or in unfamiliar surroundings, the vampire often initiated the move as much to reassure himself as to calm Giles.

In the two months they had spent exploring each other's bodies, minds and spirits, the watcher had discovered a doubtful, often frightened and dependent child within the public iron-man persona Spike projected to the rest of the world. He cherished the private identity as much as, perhaps even more than, he did the vampire's public shell, knowing, somehow, that this small, vulnerable part of Spike needed him just as badly as the greater, more dominant part wanted him.

"I'm fine, baby. Just.... keep doin' that, wouldja?" Spike murmured, his eyes sliding closed as he relaxed into the watcher's sure touch and allowed even the memory of the pain to fall away.

"There. That's better isn't it?"

"Hmmm. Better...."

Catching Alex's eye, Angel nodded towards the kitchen and both men rose and left the room to the other two.

"That... is an "Oh My God" moment if I've ever seen one."

"I know! I thought it was funny, at first. A little facial massage and Spike becomes overcooked-spaghetti guy. Total mush."

"You don't get what I'm saying. You wouldn't, of course. You didn't know him then. Spike has always had this weird thing about trust. He doesn't. Ever. He may hang around you, play number one son and all that, whatever it takes to get you to trust him, but he'll never go that far back in the other direction. I always assumed there was some big hurt or betrayal before we found him. I never asked. What Giles was doing in there.... I've never seen Spike let anyone..... The man sleeps with one eye open and the other cracked, for God's sake. It must be true."

"In Giles' words, 'That's not Spike.' William trusts me, he trusts Rupert, and he'll trust you too if you give him a chance."

"I'll believe it when he lets me massage his temples."

"Ah.... no. That's reserved for Rupert, and him only. Open up your mind a little, would you, Angel? Even before all this, before Buffy's death, Spike was willingly making changes. You haven't been here. You weren't there at the tower that night. The rest of us were in shock. I think he was the only one who was able to show any real emotion."

"The chip forced him to change, and he was only playing good puppy to get in Buffy's...."

"Man, are you the most cynical creature on the face of the planet, or what? You're a good friend, Angel. You're practically my brother, but sometimes I could just smack you and your smug arrogance right back to..... Can't you get it? You understand nothing. I'm the one who took him home that night. I spent a week and a half dragging him back inside his crypt every morning and chaining him down so he couldn't commit UV suicide! I nursed that man through ten days of nervous breakdown, where half the time he talked like Drusilla and the other half he just sat there shaking, crying and begging Buffy to forgive him! I'm the one who had to put an I.V. in his arm to keep him from starving when he refused to eat! Don't assume you know him anymore, Angel; him or any of us. Noone in Sunnydale is what they were before Glory put our lives through the shredder and flushed the pieces down the cosmic john. I'm going up to bed. See you in the morning."

Stunned, unable to reconcile the words he'd just heard with the young man he'd once known, Angel could only watch Alex stalk out of the kitchen.

{Speaking of smug arrogance.... Does he think I could possibly forget that I wasn't there for her? I admit I was selfish; it hurt too much see her, so I stayed away, even after I knew what she.... what all of them were facing. I had my own problems.... told myself she'd only resent my interference.... I couldn't know I'd be so wrong. I couldn't know, damn it.....}

When his hated emotions threatened to overwhelm him, Angel drove them back down to the padlocked dungeon where they lived, restrained them and slammed the door. Rising, he strolled back into the living room and straight into an ambush. Giles and Spike, burning with righteous indignation, were waiting on the older vamp when he reappeared.

"What did you say to Alex? He was very upset, but he wouldn't tell us why."

"Yeah, you insensitive git! The boy was fine when he went in there. Ten minutes with you, you bloody wanker, an' he storms upstairs steamin' like a locomotive! What did ya do?"

"It was nothing."

"Nothin'! Alex don't get fired up over just nothin' anymore. You musta hurt his feelin's or said somethin' idiotic, like ya always do. Which was it?"

"I didn't intend.... I shoved my foot in my mouth by saying something.... mildly crude about you, which I now understand I shouldn't have. Alex defended you like Johnny Cochran, called me an arrogant know-it-all and went to bed. I'll apologize in the morning, okay?"

"I suppose it will have to do." Giles conceded, glaring at Angel reproachfully as he sat beside him on the couch. "William. Would you go and check on him, please? Make sure he's calmed down, or he'll never sleep. Tell him I'll be right up."

"Sure, luv. Don't take too long, will ya? I won't be sleepin' either 'till you get there."

"I won't. Go on."

Giles waited for Spike to get all the way upstairs before addressing Angel again. "Let me guess. You made an assumption based only on what you used to know of William, and Alex called you on it?"

"Exactly."

"And he rubbed your nose in not being here when Glory was playing havoc with everyone?"

"Got it again."

"Well....to understand where that came from, you have to know what happened after that night at the tower. When Buffy sacrificed herself.... we all fell apart, Angel, totally and without reservation. I sank into consecutive bottles of whiskey and vodka, Willow and Tara sped away in a car and vanished for two weeks, Dawn crawled into a dank corner of Spike's crypt and wouldn't come out. The only one not allowed to grieve was Alex, and only because he looked at the rest of us... and decided he couldn't. He took it on himself to see that William stayed alive and that he and Dawn both got back on their feet. A few days later, William rescued me. We've kept in nightly contact with the girls so they don't feel isolated and disconnect from us again..... By virtue of one act of kindness to William, Alex saved us all."

Rising slowly to his feet, Giles gazed down at Angel sadly. "If he gets upset over what seems to you to be an innocent, or offhand remark, or if he seems... distant, give him all the break down room you have to. He won't give it to himself..... and he damn well deserves it."

As the watcher turned and moved up the stairs, Angel breathed deeply, head in his large hands. Straightening, he slipped off his leather coat, boots and socks and lay down on the sofa.

Sleep did not come nearly as easily as he might have wished, as stray melodies and images floated through his head and would not let him drift away. The images, however, were much more recent than they had once been. Since Buffy's death, his past guilts and crimes had held no sway over him, having been totally overshadowed by self- recrimination and personal blame.

Images of himself and Buffy in a few of the rare as blue diamonds, peaceful moments they had shared persisted in taunting him. Alone and halfway between sleep and waking, his control weakened and the despised emotions he tried always to suppress, in public and even with those he loved, shattered the locks on their dark cells and swarmed up to engulf him. Inundated by fear, drowning in loss, he pulled a pillow close to his face and shoved it tightly against his lips, knowing the screams were not far off and not wanting the rest of the small house's occupants to be disturbed.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

SATURDAY MORNING

"No! After what 'e did last night, I'm not sharin' me breakfast! Let 'im get his own." Spike protested muzzily. Fresh from sleep, his old speech patterns lingered as he stood before the fridge clutching a plastic bag of red fluid tightly.

"William...." Giles admonished him gently. The fatherly tone played on Spike's recently developed inclination to not agitate his partner, softening the younger vamp's resolve and marginally sweetening his disposition.

"Alright, alright. But don't be a greedy pig about it will ya? Stuff don't grow on trees, ya know." Spike warned the watcher as he warmed his own meal in the microwave. "And don't give him my special mug, either. Don't want him gettin' any naughty ideas."

The suppressed mirth he saw in Giles' eyes and expression pushed Angel to ask, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"What special mug?"

Hiding a broad grin behind his own cup of tea, Giles lifted the cup and turned it so the other man could read what was written on it.

"Touched by an Angel?!" Dropping into a nearby chair, Angel began to laugh as he hadn't been able to in what felt like forever. "Trust me.... no problem with naughty ideas from me.... unless you two need a few suggestions on spicing things up? Of course, spice had a whole different meaning back in the day." he reminisced, old memories floating up from the bottom of his mind.

"Yeah. Almost always involved a dusk t'dawn scream-fest, somethin' heavy and a whole hay-wagon full of blood. Never could figure what it was with you and cast iron.... You remember the chuckles we had with that fireplace poker and the blacksmith's forge? We had the burger-meister a'that little village cryin' for his mam before we got through..."

"Hard to forget, much as I wish I could. When he realized what you planned to do with that poker..."

Angel cringed, turned away and stuck his nose in the mug Giles handed him.

"He got to like it.... after a while. He was just a big baby, is all. An' he felt better when we cooled down the burnin'. That funny you made about carryin' our own personal fire extinguishers..... I laughed for days, mate."

"Yeah, but we almost killed each other fighting over who had the bigger nozzle. The way Dru settled that argument is the only part of the memory I can recall without getting nauseous......"

"Gentlemen, and I use the term very loosely at this point, please stop!"

"Oh." Spike murmured, pulling out of his reverie and shooting a quick guilty look at Giles. "Sorry, luv. I did promise. I'm gettin' better about it, I really am. Havin' my old carousin' partner to talk to brings up memories.... uhhh. Speakin' of feelin' green at the gills...."

"William? Are you alright?" Giles said worriedly, moving to his lover's side.

"Yeah. The thoughts that went with the memory.... they never messed with my stomach an' my head like that before."

"Souls are expensive." Angel reminded him softly. "Regrets and shame are a part of the bargain. You haven't even begun to feel it yet. That was just a taste. You've got a twenty course meal on the horizon. If it makes a difference..... I'm sorry; not because you've got your soul, but because of the price you'll pay for it."

Hearing not even a trace of spite or vindictiveness in Angel's tone, Spike turned to look at him as he reached up to grasp the hand that Giles had laid on his shoulder.

"It does make a difference. Crikey.... Harsh mistress, this soul is gonna be."

"Harsh and wicked and cruel. Doesn't mean the pain isn't worth the end result."

"I woulda done anything not to hurt this one...... anything." he whispered, giving the watcher's hand an extra squeeze. "How do you deal, man? If it's supposed to hurt, so ya don't forget..... do ya ever feel anything *but* pain?"

"It only hurts when you remember the past. Eventually..... you start to let go of what was, and focus in on what *is*. Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn.... they keep me grounded in now, but they also keep me from being dragged down by the weight of my past. You have a real chance here, with Giles and Alex. I hope you make the most of it."

"Count on it. I'm not givin' this up for anything."

About to tip his head back and seek out his lover's mouth for a light, playful kiss, Spike stopped when he saw Alex shuffle into the kitchen. Releasing Giles, he went to Alex and enfolded him in an easy embrace. "You better now, boy? Hmmm?"

"Much. Thanks. This is just what I needed." he told Spike, hugging him back fiercely for a moment before they separated. "Angel, look, I'm..."

"Don't even start that sentence. You were right, and I deserved every word of what you said. I was thoughtless and closed-minded. I'm the one who's sorry."

"Accepted, but only if you accept mine. I was cranky and tired. I've been throwing myself into the training so I wouldn't have to think about how blown apart the past few months have left me. So. Mutual acceptance?"

"Mutual."

"Good. Am I making breakfast, Rupert?"

"Just for yourself. I'm not too terribly hungry. I think I'll just take toast and a cupper up to the study." Giles said softly, turning away to pour another steaming cup of tea. Alex moved to his side quickly, sliding an arm around his waist and dropping his head close to the watcher's.

"Isolating...or just a need for peace and quiet?"

"The latter. I don't do that anymore."

"Yeah, you do, just not as much." Alex laughed softly. "William and I are having a good influence on you, I think. Eventually, we might even get you to come out to the Bronze with us some weekend."

"I haven't been that corrupted; not quite yet anyway."

"They're doing a classic punk night tonight, Rupe. None of those local bands ya claim to hate. All DJ, all night. It'd be good for you. C'mon, luv."

"Punk? I was into some of that myself back when it was hot." Angel tossed out, a smile brightening his features. "Anybody mind if I tag along? Now that Alex and I have made up that is."

"Nah. Come with. Rupert?"

Though his instinct pressed him to say no, reminding him that practically all he'd ever seen at the Bronze was carnage and destruction, Giles acquiesced.

"No live bands? I suppose.... alright. I will come. Just let me have my peace now, yes?"

" 'Course." Spike agreed as he rose and walked to stand on the other side of the older man, whispering something in his ear.

"No! I absolutely will not! There are far too many nasty and.... and disturbing memories associated with that.... and he isn't at all good for my self-control."

"I like you outta control, remember? C'mon, luv. I ain't seen you like that.... they all said you were so hot.... Ripper's still in there somewhere.... I swear, if ya let him out.... when we get home t'night, I'll be all over you 'till you can't stand it..... let's give Ripper some new associations, hmmm?"

Just as Giles appeared about to reject the idea a second time, Alex placed his mouth close to his housemate's opposite ear and added something Angel tried to catch, but was unable to.

"I think you meant that."

"I did. He's right. Ripper really is pretty hot... please?"

"Offers I wish I could refuse..... The Godfather trilogy is not considered educational material, you know. Fine. Only because you asked nicely." he responded, placing a swift peck on each man's cheek. "But I don't have to actually smoke the cigarettes, and no slam dancing. I'm far too old for that now. I'd end up in the emergency room."

"Your wish is my command." Alex replied, returning the kiss as they separated.

"We'll find that out after the club tonight." Giles teased him, gathering his tea and escaping upstairs, his face reddening from more than the steam flowing off his cup.

"Do I want to know what you had to say to get him to cave in?" Angel asked Alex, hiding a curious smile behind the lip of his mug.

"Probably not. Not fair to get you bewitched, bothered and bewildered when I can't really do anything about it." the young man replied gleefully as he dove into the fridge for breakfast ingredients. Looking to Spike, Angel got only a broad grin and a shrug.

"That's life here, now, mate. Laughs an' love an' sweetness an' light. Mostly, anyhow."

"And you actually like it?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Angel returned the smile, slowly becoming convinced that the changes in Spike were genuine and not a ploy to get close to Giles and Alex in order to execute some ulterior motive. The realization made his head spin slightly and he dove back into his cup to hide the wonder he was sure was clearly written on his face.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

LOS ANGELES
THE OFFICES OF WYNDHAM-ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS:
A LITTLE LATER THAT DAY

"I swear it's not a vision, Wes. I was supposed to.... give you something, a gift from the PTB's..... and I didn't. I've been afraid to. I don't know what it really is, or what it might do."

Persistent in his concern for Cordelia's well being, Wesley followed her into her office where she'd gone to retrieve the item she'd spoken of.

"At least sit down until the pain goes away. You have fainted under the strain of their so-called messages before."

"I'm sitting, I'm sitting." she replied, dropping into her desk chair and digging through a drawer until she found what she was looking for. "Here. Whatever happens, it's not my fault, okay? Oh, and I think you have to do mine... after. Hold out your hand."

Though his expression oozed curiosity as usual, Wes did as Cordy asked and extended his hand, into which she dropped an exquisite silver stick-pin.

Cordelia watched in horror as Wesley's eyes glossed over immediately, followed by his removing the safety cap on the tip of the pin and ramming it directly through his palm. Knowing better than to defy a directive straight from the Powers, Cordy forced herself to remain in her seat and not try to help Wesley. Within a minute or two, the pin was no longer visible and Wes was coming around to the world again.

"What... what happened?"

"Only they know the answer to that, I guess. I really don't want to do this, now, but I have to.... put the other pin in my hand, Wes. Just remember, you can't stop this, okay? Don't do anything to mess this up, no matter what I do with this thing."

"I understand." he confirmed, placing the tiny object in her hand, squirming as he watched her repeat the process he'd just endured. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah.... I feel pretty good, actually. You?"

"Fit as a fiddle. Better than I've ever felt, I dare say."

"That sounds about right. Too weird."

"Yes. Quite an odd experience, but neither of us has suffered any ill effects from it, and the Powers That Be are satisfied, so.... what would you say to a light lunch and a movie?"

"I'd say point me at the popcorn!"

The pair strolled out of the hotel laughing and chatting, the strangeness with the pins fading from their minds as fast as the inflamed circles in their palms faded from sight.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

/// So all is in readiness? \\\

/// Yes. All pieces are in place on the board except the final one. Will you now concede that he must be compelled? \\\

///I did not want to, but I agree. He will step onto the field of play whether it is his desire or not. Bring him to me here. \\\

///Of course. Immediately. \\\


Part 4

"Didn't I tell you this place would be amazin' tonight? Looks just as it should." Spike shouted happily over the music blaring from the speakers.

"So the explosion in a biker bar look was intentional." Alex said dubiously, hanging behind the others as the four of them moved into the Bronze and staring around at the leather and metal covered pit the place had become.

"Absolutely!" Giles enthused. "My favorite club in London looked a great deal like this. Incredible!" he yelled fervently, spinning slowly in place to take in the entire atmosphere.

"He's right. They did a great job on the old Bronze. Most of the best places in the New York underground scene looked just like this in the late 70's." Angel confirmed. "I was still so depressed and guilt ridden then,. Punk just screamed back at me everything I was already thinking. It was all I listened to for years."

"It's not bad.... just really loud." Alex conceded, wincing as the song currently playing blasted into his ear as they passed the speakers. He followed along as Angel and Giles led the way to an open table near the center of the room. "I'll go get drinks. What's everyone having?"

"Beer!" Giles shouted.

"Me too." Angel said.

"Black Russian." Spike bellowed and Alex moved off in the general direction of the bar, employing his newly developed agility to avoid being crushed by the bodies flying around the dance floor.

As Spike stared around the room taking in the people and hoping not to see any familiar ridged brows, one face caught his eye, but it wasn't one that disturbed him.

"Hey, Rupe. Is that who I think it is?"

"Where?"

"Over t'the left of the stage. See who I mean?"

"Dear God, I do. Can it be, do you think?"

"I don't know. Go ask him."

'You spotted him."

"Yeah, but he don't know I've had a.... change of soul, right? You better go."

"Oh. Right. Be back in a moment."

Sliding through the tightly packed crowd, Giles made his way close to the stage and as close to his goal as he could.

"Oz?"

"Giles. It's good to see you." the smaller man yelled, turning and embracing the watcher. "I should have known I'd see you tonight. Punk is one of your big faves if I remember right."

"What in the world are you doing here?"

"What in the world are you doing dressed like that? Get a bad choc-nut bar again?"

"No." Giles laughed. "It seems we both have stories to tell. Come to the table? I have.... introductions to make."

"I saw Spike. Almost did a sneak and stake, but you didn't seem to be in danger, so...."

Shuddering lightly, Giles smiled thinly at Oz.

"I'm very glad you made that decision. Shall we?"

"Okay."

Once back at the table, Oz slipped into a chair borrowed from a nearby table and shook hands and greeted for several minutes. When Giles asked again about his story, he deferred the answer, however.

"Not now. Can't hear myself, never mind talk to you. Let's just have fun, listen to the music."

"Good idea. Come back to the house after?"

"Tomorrow. You're in the same place?"

"Yes, same place."

"Good." he said with finality, turning away slightly to focus on the music.

Spike suddenly decided he felt like doing more than sitting and listening, and dragged Alex to the packed dance floor with him. This earned Giles a curious look and a small smile from Oz, but no comment.

Giles returned the grin, rose and, despite his earlier statement to the contrary, went to join them.



SUNDAY MORNING

When Oz arrived at the house late the following morning, Alex answered the door with a bright smile.

"Hey! He said you'd be here sometime today. Come on in."

"Thanks. Giles around?"

"Upstairs with Spike. Have a seat." Alex offered, dropping to the sofa and gesturing to the spot beside him, which Oz accepted. "I never thought I'd see you again. What brought you back now?"

"I was told to come. My teacher said I'd be needed here soon. He gets this look.... you don't ask questions. You go, you do...."

"Teacher? So you went back to Tibet?"

"No. I wasn't having any luck controlling the wolf there. The monks told me about a priest here in the states who might be my last shot. I took it, and he's really helped me."

Seeing Giles and Spike jogging down the stairs he held off on continuing the story until they had found seats and greetings had been exchanged.

"Go on, Oz. Who's this teacher you were talking about?" Alex encouraged.

Staring intently at Spike, Oz stayed silent.

"You didn't get to tell him last night, did ya luv?"

"No. He insisted on waiting. This isn't the Spike you knew, Oz. A lot of things have changed since you've been away. He's a completely different man, now. He lives here, with me and Alex... oh. Damn. You have been gone a while. Well... I suppose.... first....."

Slipping his fingers into Giles' hand, Spike circled and stroked, calming his lover.

"Ease up, baby. He's a friend, not the bloody KGB."

Turning to Oz, he stated his case quickly and clearly. "The chip in my head burned out, but I got my soul back, alright? How it happened can wait until your tale is finished. Just know that I don't hurt anyone anymore, 'less they're demony or I'm slam dancin' an' I don't know I did it. Sorry again, Alex boy."

"Yeah, sure. A dislocated shoulder is nothing. It'll only set my training back two weeks..." Alex teased good naturedly, laughing as a pillow flew in his direction. He caught it against his chest and would have sent it right back if he hadn't caught Giles' eye. "I know, I know. Pillow fights in the bedroom, not in the living room which is full of fragile and delicate things that can hardly afford being knocked to the floor every five minutes."

"Perfectly recited. I've taught you well."

"And it only took him two months..."

"William, dear, don't antagonize him."

Glancing at Oz, Giles saw a curious, if confused, smile curling the edges of his lips.

"He's like Angel? No joke?"

"No joke. He's cool, Oz." Alex reassured him. "Your master is safe. Go ahead with your story."

"Only if I get a full Sunnydale update afterwards."

"I promise."

"Okay. Well, like I was saying, the monks sent me to the Chinatown area of San Francisco to see this priest. He's so amazing. You'd like him a lot, Giles. He's quiet and still even when he's fighting, but you can just sense this... aura of power all around him. With his help I've got the wolf so under control, nothing and noone brings it out of me now."

"I'm delighted to hear it. I have a few contacts in that area. I might well know him. What's his name?"

"Caine. Kwai-Chang Caine."

"Hmmm. Not familiar."

"Down there, he's pretty much a household name as a healer and a master herbalist."

"Really? Do you think he'd mind if...."

"I already told him you'd be calling."

"Thank you. Why have you returned? I thought you'd gotten smart and quit this little corner of Hell for a safer and saner life."

"Like I told Xan, my master went M.A.C like he does once in a while, told me I had to come back. Said something's about to go down and I'd be needed."

This made the other three sit up straight, intently focused on Oz's next words.

"Did he give you any details?" Giles asked.

"Nope. Like I said; M.A.C. Mystic and cryptic. No details, no idea why I'm here, except.... I don't think it's big evil. I've gotten pretty good at sensing his mood, and he wasn't all that upset. Just said, go. I went. Here I am. So. Do I get all the latest from this end or do I have to beg?"

"No beggin' required. I guess we should start with the hardest thing to tell." Spike said, his voice going suddenly quiet and pained. "Buffy.... she's gone mate. We had a major row with what turned out t'be a rogue goddess. Nearly lost everyone an' everything. Closest we've ever come, I'd reckon. The slayer.... she sacrificed herself to stop it from happenin'. Red wanted to let you know but nobody knew where to find ya."

Oz sat in stunned silence, waiting for the rest of the story, waiting for Spike to tell him how Buffy had been saved and where she was now, but the vampire said nothing more. Once the truth had settled in as deeply as it was going to for that moment, Oz found his voice again.

"No return ticket this time."

"No.... not this trip. Red, she's strong enough, now, t'have brought her back, but Tara wouldn't allow..... If ya like... we can take ya out to see where they laid her. It's a beautiful spot. I've only seen it by moonlight a'course, but....."

"Wow. Buffy dead, Willow powerful enough to.... I do have some catching up to do."

"More than you think." Alex chuckled. "You haven't heard the half of it. Why don't I go pick up pizza and over lunch I'll tell you how Spike and I ended up living here and give you my "completely different man" story."

"Sounds good, but a garden salad for me, okay? My whole diet's changed around. It's a big part of what keeps me so in control."

"Sure. How about you two? Two large with double pepperoni like last time?"

"Nah. In the mood fer a bit a'healthy myself today. Make one of em' a loaded vegetarian, would ya?"

"Pepperoni is fine with me." Giles added.

"Okay. One double pep, one veggie supreme and a salad. Got it. Be right back."

Once Alex had driven away, Oz questioned Giles about what he'd just seen.

"Not so different. How come you still treat him like gopher-boy?"

"We don't. You won't understand until you hear his entire story, Oz, and I know he'd want to tell you himself. He won't be long. I'm going to gather plates and napkins and such. Angel should be back soon. Tell him there's pizza on the way, would you?"

"Sure."

Giles strolled out of the room, leaving a distinctly uncomfortable Spike alone with an even more discomfited Oz. Wanting to reassure the other man, but wanting even more to relieve the mounting tension, Spike sighed lightly, gathered his thoughts and tried to voice them.

"Seriously. No worries. I'm not who I was. Bein' with Rupert.... it's changed me into.... he calls it a compromise. I'm not the wicked nebbish I was before Dru turned me, an' I'm not the Big Bad, neither. I'm, like, centered. Better than I was on either end of things, ya know?"

Gazing deeply into Spike's eyes, Oz thought he'd perhaps gotten colored contacts. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn't the color that had changed, but his perception of it. Where once, the blue of those eyes told only of a heart frozen solid by pain, and of the immutability of death, now they spoke of ice becoming running water, cleansing itself of impurities, and of the changes the melting had already wrought.

"I know. I can see it, now. A softness that's never been there before. I like it."

"So do I. So do they, an' that's what really counts."

"Is it." Oz questioned him, not a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

" 'Course it is. They mean the universe to me, now. More. I suppose I should ask Rupe first, but..... I don't think he'll mind me tellin'. You saw the way we are with each other.... damn. On second thought... no."

"Why?"

"Since my soul came home t'roost, I've had this little voice in the back of my head; tells me what I shouldn't say, all that. When to be careful. Just now.... it's warnin' me I'll be judged and found wantin' if I say what I was goin' to; the way you're still judgin' Red."

"I did at first. I don't now. She's happy. I'm... letting it be."

"Been to see her, yet?"

"No. Don't know where she and Tara are at the moment."

"Nice excuse. If I tole' ya it wouldn't make a difference, would it? Ya won't go."

"Maybe not. So you're saying you and Giles are.... together, like Willow and Tara are?"

"Together. Pretty word. Don't much like pretty words. They're about as useful as slipcovers on ugly furniture. Just draw the eye, lettin' everybody know there's somethin' you'd rather the company not look at." Spike growled mildly, sensing a spark of anger giggling gleefully inside him, wanting encouragement to grow into a bonfire. Instead he squashed it easily, and rose to his feet to wander about the room, knowing any exercise at all would help him keep anymore sparks from getting ideas. "Rupert an' I are lovers. Have been since early summer. Didn't intend it to happen, but it kept him from swallowin' a bottle a'pills an' it gave me my soul back. If you wanna judge us fer fallin' in love in the process a'savin' each other..... go ahead. Your opinion ain't changin' us a damn bit."

"Giles.... he tried to.... no way. He would never..."

"He wanted to try. He was hurtin', man! She.... Buffy was like his own. He lived in a bottle fer a while, but drink don't never ease pain. I know that from vast experience. We've helped each other move on. Alex too, but you'll hear that when he gets back, I reckon. Life ain't a bowl a'cherries without the Slayer, but we get along."

"Yeah. I can see that." Oz said, relaxing back into the couch to wait for lunch and for the story he was now quite eager to hear.


Part 5

LOS ANGELES:
WYNDHAM-ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS
EARLY SUNDAY EVENING

"Wes? Wes, where are you?! Get in here! You have to see this!" Cordelia bellowed, the surprise and fear coloring her tone of voice more than enough to bring Wesley running into the kitchen and
straight to her side.

"What is it? Are you alright?"

"Does stunned and terrified count as alright? Watch this."

Quickly, Cordelia drew the paring knife she held firmly across the palm of her left hand. When Wesley gaped and tried to grab her wrist, she pulled away. "No! Just watch."

A moment later, he joined Cordy in her state of shock as the deep gash knit up and vanished before his eyes.

"Oh. Oh, Good Lord...."

"At the very least. I think we just found out what those stick pins did to us. You try." The experiment worked on Wesley exactly as it had on Cordelia. "See? God! I have half a mind to go stab the PTB's myself this time! How dare they just.... willy-nilly, go making people immortal, without even giving them a heads-up!" she screamed at the ceiling.

"The Powers That Be don't live upstairs, Cordy. Calm down, alright? They would never do this without a reason. Didn't they give you a piece of a prophecy?"

"Yeah. Something about my path crossing Spike's at some point in the future when it would be ultra-important for the world. You're saying that the four of us.... we're all critical parts of... whatever it's gonna be?"

"Apparently. The Powers obviously want to be sure that if any of the four of us get hit by a bus or fall off a cliff before this... event happens, we'll bounce back, so to speak."

"I better call and give the Sunnydale half of our little eternal coffee klatch a clue."

"Yes, good idea."

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"Hullo?"

"Spike? It's Cordelia. Are Giles and Alex both there?"

"Yeah. Why? You sound right pissed off."

"I am. Trust me, I am. Put me on speakerphone, then get them both in hearing distance."

" 'Kay. Hang on a mo'. Rupe! Alex! Cordy's on the phone for ya, and she's seein' red, so better make it real quick-like!"

"Cordelia? What is it? What's happened? Are you and Wesley alright?"

"Depends on your definition. Alex?"

"Right here, Cord. What's up?"

"I've got news, whether it's bad or good will be up to you guys, I guess. Is there something sharp, like a letter opener or a knife right near where you're standing, Spike? If there is, grab it."

"Got it. What now?"

"Do you all trust me? I mean, really trust me? 'Cause you're gonna have to."

"Of course we do, Cordelia."

"Always trust my heroes, luv."

"Yeah, Cordy. Completely and utterly." Alex agreed.

"I hope you're telling the truth. Spike, take whatever you found and cut either Giles or Alex, preferably in a visible spot."

"What?! You're insane, girl!"

"You said you trusted me! Do it!"

Glancing at each other warily, Giles and Alex both held out their hands, palm down, and brought them close to each other. Spike made a shallow sweep across both men's skin in one motion. A few moments later, the stunned gasps she heard told Cordelia they now knew the truth. "Get it now? Thanks to the PTB's idea of quality jewelry, you two, Wesley and I are all immortal. I'm really sorry, guys. If I'd realized sooner, maybe I could've...."

"No... no, it's alright, Cordelia. " Giles reassured her. "This isn't your fault. You had no way of knowing what the Powers had in mind. Thank you for alerting us."

"No problem. Least I could do. Take care and tell Angel we miss him."

"We will. Stay safe, Cordy." Alex added, just before punching the disconnect and ending the call. "Immortal. Wow. I can see why she was so cheesed off."

"Yah. Cordy an' her control issues. Anyone does somethin' to her or forces somethin' on her she can't find a way out of, everybody in reach better just jump up and come down runnin, 'cause ain't nobody leavin' with all the parts they started with." Spike observed with slight amusement.

"Too true. " Alex agreed. "The powers don't know who they've spit on this time. For their sakes, I hope they never find out."

"I don't think so. She'll rant and rave for a while, but Wesley won't let her get too out of control. He's good with her. She's mellowed a lot since he joined the team." Angel commented from his seat on the stairs where he'd watched the whole scene unfold. "Besides, there had to be a purpose behind the PTB's doing this. Something to do with that prophecy they gave you, Spike."

"Maybe. It was more of a warnin' tho. Said Cordy's path an' mine were gonna cross again and it would be a really important time for the world. Everybody who knew an' cared about the Slayer would be needed, so Cordelia wasn't to lose touch like she had the last little while."

"Their reasoning is wrapped up in there somewhere. The four of you will obviously be critical to whatever is going to happen, and they want to make sure you're all still around."

"Perhaps," Giles admitted. "but it doesn't change my feeling on the matter. I can't stand to be manipulated."

"Unfortunately, Rupert, that's the PTB's favorite game."

"Someone should teach them to play bridge. I suppose the question is....what do we do now?"

Gazing at him softly, Alex considered making a joke, but sensed that sentiment was more what was needed.

"You enjoy knowing that you and William will always be together. I enjoy knowing this town will always have a protector. What else do we really need to know right now?"

For several seconds the watcher and the reformed vampire simply looked from Alex to each other, as if they couldn't quite believe they hadn't yet come up with the conclusion on their own. Then they came together swiftly, hands linking as they met, separating a moment later so they could embrace.

Feeling, for the first time in a long time, like an intruder, Alex moved away and over to the stairs to sit with Angel, who slid over to make room. Turning to Alex, he shot him an amazed grin.

"Unbelieveable. I really thought one of them would have killed the other by now. Instead, they turn out to be soulmates."

"I know. According to the PTB's, Spike's back on the right road. They even implied that when he does die, he has a real chance of ending up in heaven, not.... the other place."

"You can say hell in front of me, Alex. It doesn't bother me. I have my own hope of finding the light when I go."

"I feel so lucky to be here with them, you know? It was seeing them, what they have, that gave me the courage to break it off with Anya. I suddenly saw that I could have something so much better. I could be happy instead of settling for kind of satisfied."

"Noone should have to settle for that. You'll find your Khean-nar- Viroque someday." Angel reassured him, the barest hint of sadness in his voice.

"Oh, man. Be a little more dense, Alex. Here I am spouting about love and soulmates when you're still dealing with Buff. I'm really sorry...."

"No. It's okay. I want to remember the happy, the love we shared. The loss and the pain.... I'll get over in time. How is Anya dealing with the break up, by the way?"

"Not well. She isn't living full-time in Stalkerville yet, just hanging out in the suburbs a lot."

"She'll survive. We all do."

"Must I remind you, former vengeance demon? If she ever gets her powers back, three guesses who'll be the first guy she toasts to a nice golden brown."

"I can talk with her if you like."

"Yeah, well, talking would be a great idea, but you can't exactly have an intelligent conversation with a woman who never shuts up. No. Best to let her.... cool off. She'll hook her talons into some other poor shlub eventually and torture him until he runs screaming into the night. Then I'll be a faded memory. Please, Santa? It's the only thing on my list this year."

Alex fell silent then, staring at his shoes. Angel allowed the silence to spool out comfortably, not needing to ask why the younger man had stayed in the relationship if it had gotten that bad; he knew why.

Without ever having seen or experienced real love, or genuine devotion and affection, Alex had eagerly grabbed the first chance at anything closely resembling love he had been offered, unable to see past his own needs and desires to find the truth; the sad and bitter truth he had almost discovered too late.

The thought that, since both Alex and Cordy had gone through such powerful, if painful, personality transformations, another chance for the two of them might be in the cards, flitted across Angel's mind, bringing a light smile.

"That's nice to see. What brought it on?"

"I was just thinking of Cordy. She's gone through the wringer more than once since she came to work for me. I was thinking how it's changed her."

"You were saying that earlier. Tell me more."

"There are so many differences..... but you'd never know anything had changed unless you'd known her all along. In some ways, she's softer, more laid back. In others, she's so much stronger. She picks up weapons without hesitation, now, and uses them just as easily. If she thinks I'm wrong, she'll let me know, but if she finds out I was right, she'll apologize, from the heart, without missing a beat. She pays her own way in almost everything. She's even saving up some money for a couple of college courses she wants to take. Not much goes on at the agency during the day, you know, so I encouraged her. I even add a little to the account when I can. I think she knows, but she'll never say anything. It would spoil the fun."

"Wow."

"Yeah, that's the word for Cordelia alright."

"No. I meant, Wow. I've never heard you say that many words at once before. You must really love her."

Alex's words shocked Angel into an awareness of how he must have sounded while extolling Cordelia's virtues for the other man.

"No. I loved once, and it nearly destroyed both of us and all of Sunnydale. I won't make that mistake with Cordelia."

"The mistake wasn't the act of loving, Angel. It was loving Buffy, specifically. Buffy... she was always too much for this world; too strong, too burdened.... too connected to that.... otherness that was so much a part of her. She was too much even for you, I think. That doesn't mean you have to push love away if it shows up again...."

"Our relationships with mortals never end happily, Alex. It's a cosmic law, I think. They bruise, we don't. They bleed and age and die, we don't. You won't understand until you've had time to get used to being immortal, so I won't fault you for not getting the concept. Stay with Rupert and Spike. You're right about this being a good place for you right now.... and it's always better to love someone you won't lose." Angel stated darkly, rising to his feet.

"If you aren't willing to risk getting hurt, why bother to live? Why don't you just... walk into the sunrise or something?"

"I don't know. People depend on me.... I have friends who need me...."

"Friends who love you."

"Maybe."

"And when they step up and fight beside you, do you stop them?"

"No, of course not. Sometimes I...."

"Sometimes you can't do it alone. You've kept your friends around you, even though you're afraid they'll get hurt. If you can risk your heart far enough to let Cordy be a friend, you can risk letting her in deeper. At least ask her if that's what she wants. Besides.... she just switched out of the "fragile human dripping bodily fluids on my carpet" category, didn't she?"

Chuckling softly, Angel turned back to face Alex.

"Since when did you become the high priest of wisdom in Sunnydale?"

"Since I got my sen-sei. He's taught me a hell of a lot more than how to kick and punch. Not all of it in the bedroom either." Alex laughed, grinning evilly up at the tall man standing over him.

"I don't want to know. Not getting me hot and bothered, remember? I think I'll go find Oz, see if he feels like a drive. You might want to spend some time in the gym tonight. No more than an hour or so, though. Just enough to tighten and polish the moves and katas you plan on showing me tomorrow night."

"Not a bad idea. You'll be in late?"

"Probably. I won't wake anyone up coming in, I promise."

"See you in the morning, then."

"Right."

Angel grabbed his jacket and strolled out the door to his car. Alex watched him go, then stood and ran upstairs to change, intending on taking Angel's advice. After convincing Giles that he didn't need his sen-sei, just this once, he headed out for the magic shop, leaving Giles and Spike alone.

Two mugs of warm cocoa later (extra marshmallows per Spike's request), the lovers were tucked under an afghan on the couch, the vamp leaning back into Rupert's chest, curled as close as he could get to the watcher without becoming his siamese twin. The two talked softly about how different everything suddenly felt, now that a great deal of the anxiety about death separating them had been lifted from the hearts and shoulders of both men.

When Alex returned a little over an hour later, both watcher and vampire were sound asleep. He woke them as gently as he could, and all three moved up the stairs to their shared room together.



Part 6

MONDAY MORNING

"Being nervous is completely understandable, but at least have toast and juice, or some oatmeal. If you don't eat, your energy level tonight will be non-existent, and you'll never come up to Angel's standards."

"No oatmeal. It'll just turn into a lump in my stomach. Toast is okay, I guess. Can I have an egg, too?"

"Of course you can. You know you don't have to ask, Alex. Have what you like."

"I know. I'm sorry. Everything's... shifting under my feet again, like when I first came to live here. I feel like another page is about to turn for me."

Closing the foot or so gap that separated him from his student, Giles gently wrapped an arm around the young man's body.

"Turning towards the future or the past?"

"The future."

"Then that's as it should be. No more looking backwards and sighing over what we can't change, right? No going back.... for any of us. Only looking forward, yes?"

"Yeah. Forward. It's weird, you know? I'm so psyched for tonight, but it terrifies me at the same time. What if I can't.... I'll dig a hole and bury myself under the training room if he tells me..."

"What?"

"That I'm weak.... that I'm a fool for ever thinking I could take over for Buffy, and I'll never be the fighter I wanna be...."

"Alex! How could you possibly think Angel would say that? Think about what he's offered you. He didn't do that lightly. He doesn't say what he doesn't mean."

"I know that, I do. I'm just so scared.... "

Sensing a major revelation on the way, Giles moved away, holding back the reassurances he wanted to speak and giving Alex space to breathe for a few moments as he worked up the courage to say what was weighing down his heart. "I've never been good at living up to other people's expectations. I always find some way to mess up.... and end up falling short."

"Has there ever been anyone whose expectations you truly, in your heart of hearts, *wanted* to live up to; the way you seem to want to meet, and exceed, Angel's?"

"Until you and William..... only Buffy, and I guess.... I'm doing this for her too. So.... the answer is no."

"There's your difference, then. When it's someone you look up to who's setting the goal, someone you care about making proud, then you're really doing it for yourself more than anyone else. Angel is a demanding taskmaster, but I have faith in your being able to pass this test. I'll be there for you."

"Only as an observer. You're not allowed to talk to me... or anything." Alex said quietly as he dropped bread into the toaster, his tone clearly telegraphing his fear and uncertainty.

"This isn't supposed to test of how well I train. It's a measure of how well you learn and your ability to perform under pressure. I don't have to help you tonight. If I interfered, it would only be a sign that I have no confidence in you.... and believe me, I do. Your reward will be so worth it, Alex. Angel has a much larger weapons cache than I do, as well as approximately two-hundred-twenty years more experience with them. He can show you things I can't. The tai- chi will also be excellent for your balance, strength and self-awareness."

Grabbing a carton of orange juice, Alex turned away from the fridge toward his teacher, grinning broadly.

"I'm really excited about that. I want to work with him so badly I can taste it! I've been working so hard these past two months.... I'm ready. I deserve this, and I'm going to get it."

"Yes you are.... yes you do.... and yes you will." Giles told him, punctuating each reassurance with a soft kiss. "Now, keep thinking those positive thoughts and eat something, would you please? I'm sure I don't know how you get by on the little you take in. A... a pizza every other day, and a decent breakfast three or less times a week wouldn't keep a hummingbird alive."

His smile widening, Alex screwed up his face and produced a creditable impression of Yoda.

"How get you so big eating food of this kind, eh? Come! Yoda make good food. Come, good food."

Though he struggled mightily to remain in father/sen-sei mode, Giles found himself laughing out loud at Alex's silliness.

"If that's a hint, I've already rented all three movies for your celebration tonight."

"Three? What about.... oh, man. Is he still on that kick about only watching the original trilogy?"

"He's merely insisting on waiting until parts two and three come out, and I find I quite agree with him. As marvelous as the middle three films were, it would only seem sensible to have started at the beginning. From what I've read the whole story came into his head at once, so he certainly could have done." Giles mused as he gathered various ingredients from the cabinets and piled them into a large bowl for transportation to the counter.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have understood a lot of the foreshadowing in part one without already having some of the stuff from five and six in your head...."

"Look, do you want a lively discussion on the merits and deficits of science-fiction film as a genre right now, or would you rather have my double fudge bundt cake at the party *later*?"

His eyes widening, Alex bit his lip briefly, then smiled lightly.

"Bundt cake? Double fudge? For me?"

"Of course, but not if I can't get to work."

Swiftly slathering peanut butter on his toast and grabbing his juice, Alex began to back out of the kitchen.

" I don't really need that egg. I'll just... take these up to the study.... let you work in peace. I mean... I have a lot of meditation and... thinking to do before tonight."

"What a good idea. Rest and reflection are precisely what you need."

"Right. I'll just be upstairs, resting.... and dreaming of bundt cake."

"You might try some visualization instead."

"All that "see yourself succeeding" stuff? I don't know..."

"Give it a chance. It's worked for athletes in everything from basketball to race car driving to extreme sports."

"Yeah? Maybe I'll try it."

"Good. Now go, or your cake tonight will be white with white icing... from the grocery store!" Giles teased.

"No... anything but that! I'm going, sen-sei, I'm going!" Alex mock-pleaded, finally turning and striding through the living room and up the stairs.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

EARLY MONDAY NIGHT

"Oz's curiosity was definitely peaked. He doesn't get the concept of Alex vs. Xander yet. He wanted to be here, but I told him he'd be welcome Wednesday night."

"I'm not sure Alex entirely gets the concept of Alex yet, but he's definitely making progress; more progress than I ever expected, actually. I'm very glad, you know, that you agreed to help with his training. He's come so far so quickly...."

"You're afraid he'll grow beyond you?"

"Petrified."

Leaning close to Giles' ear, Angel spoke softly to soothe his friend's fearful heart.

"That's possible. Probable, in fact, if you do your job like I know you can. But.... even if that happens.... what makes you think he'll ever stop needing everything else you've given him this summer? He adores you, Rupert, and you love him unconditionally. If he can trust that, can trust a level of loyalty he's never known before, you can trust him to understand the value of what he's got, and do everything he can not to lose it."

His head spinning from the impact of Angel's words on his heart and mind, Giles gazed over at him for a moment, then moved off into the shadows near the edge of the room, dropping into the observation chair he'd placed there when they'd all arrived earlier that evening. "Alex. You ready? Time to earn your passing grade."

"You sound so sure. That makes me slightly suspicious." Alex chuckled as he rose off the floor where he'd been gently stretching out one muscle group after another, easing tension out of his arms, shoulders, low back, and hamstrings.

"I know you have the ability and the strength. I saw that Friday night. As far I'm concerned, this is almost a foregone conclusion."

"Almost?"

"Almost. C'mon over here. Let's start with the basics...."

For the next two hours, Angel worked Alex ceaselessly, taking him from the moves that were no longer any challenge for him, up through the more difficult positions and techniques that he'd learned only recently. He pushed the young man to his physical, emotional and mental limit, showing Alex he could do more, and go farther, than he'd previously believed. Only then did Angel set in motion the final part of the test; his "almost".

Reaching unobtrusively into his pants pocket, he ran his thumb over the crystal that he'd hidden there, felt it warm beneath his fingers and knew it had worked.

As Alex bent forward, elbows on his knees and sweat pouring from his face, arms and legs, three enormous creatures melted out of the walls and silently formed a loose circle around him. Being only Willow and Tara created illusions, they would harm none of the three men in the room, but to Alex they would feel real, solid under his fists and feet. The young warrior reacted exactly as Angel had hoped, popping immediately back up into a fighting stance once he realized what was happening. The vampire allowed himself a quiet sigh of relief and stepped back to stand beside the watcher in the shadows.

In less than ten minutes, all three of the pseudo-monsters had been soundly defeated and returned to the mist and vapor from which they'd been created, and Angel and Giles moved forward to congratulate an utterly exhausted Alex.

"What.... the hell... was that?!"

"The essay question."

"Willow and Tara?"

"Absolutely. I couldn't have cooked up this little surprise by myself."

"So... that's where you went... this morning. Oh, they will *so* pay for that..." Alex threatened mildly, his tired smile belying his words.

"I'm so proud of you, Alex." Giles enthused, guiding his protegé to the chair he himself had occupied a few minutes before. "You were marvelous. I told Angel no matter what he and the girls threw at you, you'd win out, and I was right."

"Wow. That was.... intense. I'm gonna sleep for a month."

"I don't think so. I have plans for you this week." Angel corrected him, smiling softly.

Looking up abruptly, Alex pushed away his fatigue, tripled the concentration of Angel's grin, and beamed it back at him.

"So... I passed? I get my reward?!"

"As you so aptly put it, your colors were flying all over the place. You showed me you're not only strong and smart, you can assess a situation quickly and adapt to it, plus you have the heart and the will to keep fighting even when you're running on fumes. You more than passed, Alex. A-plus. Congratulations."

Though his weary body wouldn't allow him the leaping and dancing he wanted to do, Alex's expression glowed with all the joy that was overflowing his heart as he rose to his feet.

"Sen-sei, you are just amazing! I'm so grateful.... you can't possibly know. There's so much I have now that would never have been possible without your support and your love..."

"Later." Giles murmured in his ear as he was embraced so joyfully that he stumbled back a step or two.

"Yeah. Right! Home, party, double fudge bundt cake!" Alex crowed as he headed off for the shower.

"Bundt cake? You didn't tell me you were making bundt cake!!" Angel accused Giles, causing the other to grin and roll his eyes.

"Lord save me from vampires with sweet-fangs and insatiable appetites... for everything." Giles responded, smiling as he replaced weapons and wiped down equipment. "No worries. I was smart enough to make three. Two of them are in the freezer, and before you ask, yes, one of them is chocolate chip. The other is lemon-poppyseed, William's current favorite. The two of you may indulge to your unbeating heart's content."

"You remembered. I'm impressed."

"How could I forget? Until you and Buffy made that grievous late-night error, your addiction to my chocolate chip cake provided a welcome supplement to a high school librarian's meager income. If you could give me a hand with the mats? He'll be out here in a minute and I expect he won't have much patience with hanging about while we straighten up."

"You're probably right." Angel agreed, moving to assist with the clean up, images of Giles incredible baking swirling through his head until he was afraid the curse might kick in.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

The party lasted well into the night, but, knowing full well that Alex and William would both be up early, one to ensure he made it to work, the other simply to be with his soulmate, Giles made sure the festivities ended before midnight. Angel offered to drive Oz back to his hotel, and the offer was readily accepted. The two men strolled out, leaving the house quiet and the other three alone.

"I'm okay, Rupert. Really, I'm just a little tired."

"Oh? You do remember how you felt the morning after you indulged in that little "I'm so pissed at Anya I think I'll hit something" workout? Triple it and you'll have an idea what you're facing tomorrow."

"Yeah. Right." Alex remarked somberly, suddenly wondering if he'd be going to work tomorrow after all. Rising slowly, he grinned down at his best friends. "Okay, so I'll go to sleep. You will do the you're my hero bit again in the morning, right sen-sei?"

"Glad to oblige. A few minutes of light stretching before bed might reduce the agony tomorrow."

"Yes, master Yoda. Night, William."

"Night, luv. Sleep well. Congrats on the win tonight. Knew you would."

"Thanks."

Grimacing as his overworked left shoulder twinged, Alex turned and plodded up the stairs.

"You're still not ready to be honest with him?"

"It ain't a matter of honesty. I told you that the last time you asked. I'm for you an' you only. Drop it."

"As I am for you. That doesn't preclude you caring for...."

"Did I tell ya the witches called to see how he did? Told 'em it was a bit early to know. One of us should ring up in the mornin'."

Knowing when not to push his lover was an art form, one at which Rupert was quickly becoming a master technician. Docile, he followed William's chosen escape route from the current taboo subject, understanding that it would come up again, and he would have another chance.

"I'll do it. I have to thank them for their excellent work tonight, anyway. It was spectacular. You would have loved it."

"Party was grand. My sire was dotin' on him all night, practically. The kid musta done really well."

"Yes. A-plus. Angel worked him mercilessly for two straight hours, then threw the girls test at him. Alex rose to the occasion beautifully. He just keeps stunning me."

"Yeah. Ya gotta' wonder where all this came from, ya know? If he had this in him all along, why'd he spend all those years pretendin' to trip on his own feet, an' actin' like he couldn't get a clue if Sherlock bloody Holmes rubbed his nose in one?"

"It wasn't an act. It was a reflection of the messages he received from his world. It's rather difficult to believe in oneself if noone in your immediate circle gives a damn whether you exist or not."

Hearing the distinctive roughness in his lover's voice that meant he was genuinely upset and trying very hard to maintain control, William looked up from where he had curled his head into the watcher's chest to find Rupert had turned his face slightly down and away, as if ashamed.

"Sweetness. Don't. You an' the Scoobies gave him more attention than his bastard parents did, an' you always treated him fair...."

"No. We treated him like the child he presented to the world. None of us ever cared enough to look any deeper.... I, of all people, should have seen there was more to him than that..."

"We all did it, luv, not just you. What was it Red told you that mornin'; that Alex couldn't a'been that unhappy with Anya, 'cause she woulda known? He was, an' she didn't. What ya answered her back was the truth, I think. He was so good at makin' masks to hide behind, we never got to see the pain, or the fear. He didn't want us to. Prob'ly thought he was protectin' everybody. He don't do that anymore."

"Perhaps.... not so much, at any rate."

"Per'aps, nothin'. When it's just us, the three of us alone, he's so real and open it's scary. Haven't you seen that? Or are you still not lookin' beyond the surface, hmm?" William goaded gently, taking Rupert's hand as he rose to his feet so that the watcher was pulled up with him. "Let's head to bed, baby. You need the sleep as bad as he does."

"True."

As they moved up the stairs, arms around each other's waists, Rupert leaned in and whispered in William's ear.

"Tell me you won't go away."

" A'course I won't. I thought we talked this out last night."

"Please. I just need to hear the words...."

"I won't go away. I'm right here beside you. My only, dearest heart. My vow."

"I knew that."


Part 7

LOS ANGELES
WYNDHAM-ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS:
SAME NIGHT

"Wes! Ahhhh, God.... I really, really hate this..... Wesley! You've got eeeouch-mail!"

"Sorry, Cordy. I was nearly out of screeching range.'' he apologized as he ran to her side, helping her up off the floor and onto one of the stools at the bar and taking the seat directly in front of her. Immediately, he began to soothe her vision headache with the gentle application of strong fingers to her forehead, temples and face.

"Aren't you... mmm... gonna ask?"

"You'll tell me when you're ready. I thought perhaps you could use some silence and a facial massage more than the usual interrogation followed by me running off and leaving you alone."

"Actually.... you're not wrong there...."

It was several more minutes before Cordelia, regretfully, reached up and stilled Wesley's hands, grasping them lightly in her own and bringing them down between herself and her close friend.

"Better?"

"Better. I didn't see much this time. Do I ever? It was just... tomorrow's date on a Sunnydale newspaper, and an image of you, Gunn and I talking to Giles and Spike. In person, I mean. I guess the PTB's think it's time for a visit home."

"Yes, it would seem so. I'll call Gunn and tell him to pack a bag. You really are alright, now?"

"Oh, yeah. Much better than the usual."

"Well, then..... I will need my hands to dial the phone." he prodded her gently, chuckling softly as he was released.

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Before pulling out his cell phone, Wes reached out and brushed Cordelia's cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"Actually.... so am I." he murmured, smiling, then walking away, leaving poor Cordy stunned, not knowing exactly what to make of Wesley's words or the clear emotion she'd sensed behind, and within, them.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

TUESDAY EVENING

"She said they'd be here, Rupert. Sit down."

"I'm sorry. I just can't seem to settle. Something about this bothers me.... no. I'm not bothered. I'm frightened. I feel as if we've been set up."

"We have," Angel agreed. "but since it's the PTB's making the decisions, there isn't much we can do about it but submit."

Finally halting the pacing he'd been engaged in for two hours or more, Giles stared directly into Angel's eyes, determination and strength glowing brightly in the watcher's hazel orbs for all the world to see.

"Yes, well, William and Alex will tell you I don't bow and scrape as easily as I once did." he stated forcefully and went back to treading a random path around the living room.

His words only strengthened Angel's evolving picture of the man he'd once known. Once Rupert Giles had been a chunk of raw, pure ore, soft and malleable. Now a vital element had been cut away, other, stronger, metals had been added to fill the breach, and he'd endured a journey through a super-heated forge of his own creation, transmuting him into a new alloy; an unprecedented creature to himself, who resisted mightily being bent to another's will.

"I've tried fighting their schemes and machinations before, Rupert. It never works, and it always ends with someone I care about hurt, in one way or another. Do you want them to put Alex.... or William in harms way? Maybe neither of them can die in the usual ways, but they can be scarred forever, emotionally and physically. They both have enough scars, don't you think?"

"Far more than either of them deserve."

"Then give up, alright? We can't win when the Powers own the casino. Let's see what they have in mind before we automatically assume bad intentions."

"Their intentions aren't good or bad. I understand that, just as I understand their position as Oracles. They do what they have to. It's simply that.... thanks to the support of William and Alex, I'm finally finding my own strength. Mine. Suddenly, words of surrender and submission seem to stick in the back of my throat.... I can't help but choke on them. The thought of them endangering the man I love more than my own life, just because I wouldn't be their willing lackey.... I can't abide it."

"I know. Every time I see Cordelia in pain from one of her visions..."

A light rap on the door halted Angel mid-sentence and he abandoned the thought.

"Speaking of Cordy...." Giles murmured as he moved to open the door. "Cor.... Willow? What are you and Tara doing here?"

"Tara had a vision during our bedtime meditation. She said all she knew was that we had to get here right away. So, what's the big bad? Where's the fight?"

Stepping out of the kitchen, Oz answered her question quietly, his eyes slightly narrowed, expression strained as he tried to ignore the obvious closeness between his old love and her new one.

"No fight, Wills. We're all just.... waiting."

"Oz? Oh... oh, Goddess.... Oz." she exclaimed softly, running to embrace him. "What.... when did you get back?"

"Saturday morning. Had a vision of my own, kinda. My new master said I had to come back. After whatever this is.... I'll explain everything over a cup of tea."

"Saturday? And you haven't been to see me?" she questioned him, pulling out of the circle of his arms to study his face, the tiniest touch of injured feelings coloring her tone.

"Been busy catching up with old friends, old places. Sorry."

Entering just in time to hear Oz tell Willow what he knew to be a blatant lie, Spike smirked and snorted under his breath, but sobered at a laser sharp glare from Giles. Moments later the door reverberated with the force of a powerful fist. Knowing it must be their final expected guests, Angel rose from his chair and walked to the door to open it.

"Gunn. Welcome to Sunnydale." Angel greeted his friend, grasping the smaller man's forearm briefly before turning to embrace Cordelia, entering a few steps behind. "How are you, Cordy?"

"Dealing. I swear the PTB's have it in for me, Angel."

"Giles isn't too happy either. Maybe the two of you should start a PTB Anonymous support group." he joked as they separated.

"Not a bad idea." she laughed, hugging Giles enthusiastically as he approached.

"Cordy. It's so good to see you again. It's been too long."

"Really! I haven't been back since the funeral, and that was in May."

"Yes. You must be Gunn. Honored to meet you."

"Yeah. You too. Heard good things about you. Your town is a pit."

"Gunn!" Cordelia hissed, smacking him on the arm.

"It's alright. He's not wrong. Can't argue with the truth, can I? Come in, come in, both of you. Where's Wesley?"

"Deciding whether to get out of the car. I think he's nervous about Spike jumping him the minute he steps in the door."

This brought a soft laugh from the young vamp.

"Tell ya what. I'll make it easy on him. I'll go wake up Alex, let Woosy feel safe comin' into the house."

"A good idea, perhaps.... None of your TWG's though. If something is going to happen tonight...."

"I get it. Don't arouse, don't carouse. Just rouse."

"Good man. And do watch the nasty names around Wes will you please?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Old habits an' all that."

"TWG?" Cordelia asked.

"Time wasting games. Occasionally, William gets a touch of separation anxiety. He's developed certain.... intriguing and intimate games to keep Alex and I from leaving the house. If we possibly can, we stay with him. I've noticed that the closer we get, the less it happens. Perhaps he won't need the extra attention at all, someday. Until then.... it's nice to know I'm needed, in what ever form the need comes."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." Cordelia agreed, looking surreptitiously over her shoulder at Angel, who had just re-entered the small house with Wesley in tow.

"Trust me, Wesley, it was a one-time thing for him, too. He's so committed to Giles it isn't even funny. Would you shut the door? Thanks. We all here, Giles?"

"I'm not dealing the cards, Angel. Ask the ones holding the poker chips."

"See?" the vampire said, turning to Cordy for a moment with a light smile. "I told you he wasn't happy."

"What does he mean by all?" Wesley asked, his voice betraying some of his fear and a tiny pebble of irritation at something or someone. Angel wondered at the source, but knew it would have to wait.

"All of the gang. Minus Anya, of course."

"She won't be missed, I must say, not with a much more conspicuous absence still so easy to feel here. Without its leader... it isn't a group. I'm rather surprised so much of the core group has stayed here."

Angel was silent for a long moment, close to drifting away on sweetly tinged memories of her, but he pulled his heart and mind back from the abyss, knowing his focus had to be in the present, not the past. A moment later he heard William and Alex come trooping down the stairs.

Feeding each other's mutual confusion, everyone gradually drifted into a loose group in the center of the room. Oz was the only one facing generally in the direction of the kitchen and the stairs. Therefore, he was the first one to know when the event they were all anticipating began to unfold.

"Ummm.... Giles? Giles, Angel, Spike.... anybody?"

His soft plea barely got above the babble of sound from the others, reaching only Willow who, having chosen another soft-spoken true love, had not gotten out of the habit of listening for quiet voices edged with fear.

"Are you alright, Oz? What is it?" Willow asked, then followed the direction of his pointing finger. Her stunned gasp finally alerted the others to what was going on.

"Oz... is that what I think it is?"

"I don't know. It looks like... a portal to me."

"More than one." Wesley corrected him. "Four would be my guess."

"And four newly created immortals." Giles added, dropping another piece of the puzzle into place.

The entire gathering stared as a wall of swirling light swiftly expanded to swallow the entire area from the kitchen to beyond where the stairs ended, and from ceiling to floor. The barrier was punctuated only by four enormous circles of utter blackness.

Before any of the group could even catch their breath, a thunderous voice, which a few of those present immediately recognized as belonging to one of the PTB's, rang through the small space.

/// All are gathered. What was written shall now come to pass. One will be called to enter each portal. Two will be called as anchors for three of those who journey. Hear our words, heed our decree; step forward Rupert Anthony Giles and enter. Step forward William of Manchester, and Angelus, the scourge of Europe, now known as Angel. Sit before the portal, here to await whatever outcome may be. \\\



Part 8

Squinting against the bright light, Giles stepped backward instead of forward, colliding with Angel who braced him and kept him from falling then leaned in to speak into the watcher's ear.

"You'll be alright, Rupert. We can't fight them; not now, anyway. Go on. Will and I are here for you. We're your anchors to home. If it gets too bad, think about us.... about William waiting here for you. Hold to that thought.... hold tight to it, and there's nothing the Powers can throw at you that you can't survive."

"I can't. I won't walk into that.... unknown, that darkness...."

"It is a little intimidating, but it's only a doorway. I can't know what's on the other side.... we have no choice in this. You have to go. No letting them put our loved ones in harms way, remember? They'll make the others pay if we say no...."

After a long stretch of minutes spent gripping William's hand so tightly that both men's fingers began to ache, Rupert kissed his soulmate softly, lingeringly on the mouth. When he moved toward the portal, William came with him, as neither was willing to let go until the absolute last minute, just before the watcher stepped through the portal and began his journey.

When he'd vanished, the younger vamp stared after him for several tense minutes, then turned and looked at Angel. The loss and terror the sire found in the eyes of his beloved blue-eyed childe caused a tightness and burning to blossom in the center of Angel's chest. When he recognized the long absent feeling for what it was, he tore his eyes from William's beseeching upturned face and gripped the other's shoulder tightly.

"We might as well sit. It could be a while."

"Yeah. Right. They said sit, didn't they?"

"That they did, and, for now at least, it would be best to go along."

The two dropped to the floor side by side, ready to wait as long as it took. In only moments, Angel was lost in his own thoughts.

{I'm not. That feeling used to mean jealousy, but..... I am not jealous of Will and Giles. They were meant to be together. The Powers said so. Of course.... time was that lost, 'please-don't-go-away' look was reserved strictly for *my* departures from his life. Damn. How did I get so lonely and pitiable that I can't even be truly happy for my grand-childe when he's finally hooked up with someone good for him? Rupert loves him completely, unconditionally, passionately.... I could never give him that. I didn't have it to give. I still must not, or else Cordelia.... ohhhhh, don't go there, Angel. Never again. God, I am so pathetic.....}

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

/// Step forward, Cordelia Suzanne Chase and enter. Step forward, Charles Octavius Gunn and Daniel Robert Ozborne. Sit before the portal, here to await whatever outcome may be. \\\

Though he had seen it rarely in the past few months, Gunn immediately recognized the panicked, 'God, get me out of here!' look on Cordelia's face. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and lifted her an inch or two off her feet, preventing her from bolting out the door.

"Uh-uh, girl. Angel had the right a'this thing. It's the Powers, an' you know better than anybody we got no out here. You got one option, an' flakin' on us ain't it."

"Gunn... let me go...."

"I can't do that! No more talk, Cordy! I'm gonna set you down now, but don't you run..." he told her when she finally stopped struggling. "Look, I know how strong you are. You'll whip through this like a shoe sale at Neiman Marcus. Get goin'."

Utterly unconvinced, Cordelia clutched Gunn's arm convulsively, but he peeled her hands away. "Cordelia! Quit actin' like a little baby! Was I wrong, huh? Are you really goin' weak sister on me?! You damn well better not be, 'cause I'll pick you up an' throw you in there...."

Her spine straightened abruptly at his words. Flames of anger ignited in her eyes searing away all traces of her fear, for the moment at least. Cordelia brushed her hair behind her ears, huffed indignantly at Gunn, turned and marched through the portal.

As they dropped to the floor to wait for the young woman's return, Oz looked over at the lithe young black man beside him and gave him a small grin.

"You really do know Cordy."

"I know how to get her movin' when she's scared."

"Piss her off."

"Damn right."

"Oz." the former werewolf said, offering a hand.

"Gunn." the other replied simply, pumping the hand firmly once before releasing it. Feeling everything necessary had been said, the pair settled into companionable silence.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

/// Step forward and enter, Stephan Mikhail Roskov, known as Micheal Evan Adams, also known as Wesley Wyndham Pryce. Step forward, Willow Marie Rosenberg and Tara Christine McClay. Sit before the portal, here to await whatever outcome may be. \\\

On hearing three names announced for Wesley all conversation halted, everyone still remaining in the room falling into a stunned silence, but noone's jaw came closer to hitting the ground than the man himself.

"Stephan... why does that sound so familiar? I know I've seen it somewhere, and recently too..... if I could just think for a moment...."

"You don't have a moment, Wes.... I mean Mic..... I mean...."

"For heaven's sake, Willow dear, Wesley will do fine for now."

"Right. What I was trying to say is that you can go into research mode after you come back. You have to go."

"Yes. Of course. I suppose...."

His hands clenching and unclenching, Wesley bowed his head and recited something quickly under his breath. When he lifted his eyes again, he looked ready to face anything.

"What was that?" Willow asked curiously.

"Nothing, really. When I was a boy, I and some friends had an explorers club. You know the kind of things children will do, fighting pirates, playing policeman and villains, all that. I thought reciting our old club motto would bolster my courage a bit. Worked a treat, just like always."

"I can see that. Would you mind.... I think we could all use a little extra courage."

"I couldn't. It's a silly piece of very bad poetry written by a ten year old..."

"Please, mister Pryce." Tara cajoled gently, one hand on his shoulder.

"Wesley. It's... it's Wesley." he repeated, despite the sudden wrongness of the sounds on his tongue. "Alright, if you will insist.... I never could deny a lovely female anything. 'On land or the high sea, 'tis adventure we seek. The bold all are welcome, no place for the meek. Whether mountain or desert, let the journey begin, for he can't come out stronger, who won't first venture in.' "

"That was beautiful, Wesley." Willow assured him. "It fits the moment perfectly, I think. Now, you should get going, so.... oh no. This means Alex is the one with no anchor. That's not right. Tara. Will you sit for Wesley? I'm gonna go be with Alex."

"Sure, baby. If that's what you think is best."

"Thanks, love. I know you understand. Even with everything.... he's still my friend, and he's still important to me."

"I know. Go on."

Hugging Tara quickly, Willow turned to go to Alex, but found an invisible barrier blocking her way to his side. She raised her hands, trying to find a gap or any way through, but could find nothing. Seeing this, the young man smiled at her, placing his palms against hers.

"Cute mime act. That a Wiccan thing, or what?"

"This is no time for funnies, Alex! They can't leave you without anyone to help you, without a guide.... I won't let them!"

"Cool down, Wills. It's okay. If this is the game.... I have to play by the rules. I'm not supposed to have any help? Okay, so I won't. No big."

"But... I can bring down the wall, I know I can. It won't be that hard...."

"Willow, stop. I'll be alright. I learned my lessons well this summer. Rupert and William have taught me so much.... I can handle whatever these yo-yos wanna throw at me."

"What did they teach you?" Willow asked, grateful that, despite knowing full well she was stalling, Alex simply answered the question without getting angry.

"A lot of stuff that would sound *way* too corny if I tried to say it out loud. Mostly, it boils down to believing in myself, and in the people who love me. Hey. Good luck, Micheal. Kick some ass for me."

"Most assuredly." Wesley intoned as he stepped through his portal.

Knowing there was now no way to delay any longer, Willow favored Alex with a sorrowful half-smile and turned away to join Tara on the floor, even as Alex turned back to face whatever the voice had in store for him.

/// Step forward, Alexander Lavelle Harris, known as Alex Summers; protector of your people, chosen of your fellow journeyers. Your road this night will be rife with obstacles, abounding with stumbling stones, both visible and hidden. Your way will be more dangerous, your decisions far more difficult than those the others face, for you have far more to gain, and a greater prize to win. Enter now, young warrior, and set your feet on the path. \\\

Standing absolutely still, Alex drew several deep breaths into his lungs, held them there a few seconds, then released them slowly. It was something Giles had taught him to do before attempting a new maneuver for the first time, but he had gradually found uses for the breathing technique outside the training room, employing it at work whenever he felt worn down, but quickly needed to re-focus his mind and re-energize his body.

Now, he used it to calm and center himself, as well as for power and concentration, sensing he would need to be at 110% to survive what the PTB's had in mind. Finally, as much at peace as he was going to become, Alex squared his shoulders and strode through the middle of the black hole in front of him.

The six anchors, left on their own, did their jobs as they'd been instructed; they sat and waited. They also, each in their own fashion, prayed for and worried about the ones who had stepped into the darkness. For the most part, the prayers were held deep inside, but they clung to them fiercely as their only connection, the only brand of help they could give; just as the travelers clung to the love and will of their anchors to help them follow their individual paths until they were led home again.



END FIRST HALF....