Title: Jumping to Conclusions

By Aoni

Aoni's Note: Ok, so...here it is...the first post of Spike/Xander that I finally got around to checking and well...posting...

Rating: Um. R-ish I guess...unless I get really into this, then its going to aff.net...but not yet...hey look, I rhymed...I'm a poet and I didn't know it! Hey look again! *Stops amusing herself and gets on with it*

Disclaimer: Not mine...if they were, the hunk-features in this little ficcy here would be tied and cuffed to my wall, in leather, and all sorts of nice...oops, Sorry, got distracted for a bit. Anyways...they belong to their rightful owners...but the actors...now THAT's a whole different
story...hehehe ^.~

Oh, and I don't usually write in the POV of Anya, but it's only for this chapter, all others WILL BE SPIKE AND XANDER I PROMISE!!!

Archives: Just let me know where it's going so I can show it off to everyone and feed my ego some more.

Jumping to Conclusions

By Aoni

.~. Anya left the Magic Box, a smile playing her human features as she walked down the silent sidewalk, planning on surprising Xander Harris with a night filled with sex, sex, orgasms, and more sex. Wearing her new Victoria's Secret garments, the ex-demon strolled with a bounce in her step.

*'Bout time Xander gave me some orgasms. It's been, what? Two days?* Anya thought with a scowl as she thought of the length of time she hadn't had sex. *You know, human males are so full of themselves. They just go about their lives, saving the world from evil, and leave their poor,
frustrated girlfriends at home, with no sex being done. No wonder all those girls wanted to curse their boyfriends. Xander is so gonna get a talk with me, very soon, one involving some very memorable tales from my days as a vengeance demon.*

Still deep in her 'fun' filled thoughts, Anya ran smack dab into a short, blonde woman in black slacks and a white blouse talking with a young girl.

"Hey, I should take your entrails and use them as a fishing line...ANYANKA!!" The woman almost squeaked as she turned to face Anya. The ex-demon's face light up when she saw her vengeance demon friend, Margarete.

"MARGY!!" Anya grinned, hugging her pal of 500 some odd years, closely as the teen girl walked away with a sniff, dabbing her make-up running eyes.

"Anyanka? I thought you had died or something! Shit, it's been what, a year of being a flimsy mortal and your still alive and kicking? If I had your guts...but you have always been the best now haven't you?" Margy said with a smirk and an evil tint in her greenish eyes.

"Well, yeah, I guess your right there. But it's been actually kinda fun here. I got to see a high school being blown up, many people getting killed, and I even have a boyfriend now." Anya said with dying emotion as she got to the boyfriend part.

"Anyanka, did this boy do something worthy of vengeance, because I can get right on it. I thought up this great thing to do to a man's intestine involving a string and some marbles..."

"No, no," Anya said interrupting the blonde woman's description. "He just hasn't had sex with me in two days and I'm frustrated as all hell."

"Well, now. That is serious!"

"What do you mean?" Anya said, truly curious.

"I'm disappointed, Anyanka. A few decades ago, you would have seen right through that man's act. He's obviously cheating on you. Two days, a young male has gone without sex is like a century without it in our time. For all you know, he could be fucking some little twit as we speak. Now, if you want, I can just phase right over there and see.."

"No! I'm just on my way there now actually. Besides. He's got a 125 year old vampire tied to a chair in his basement apartment, so he couldn't possibly be cheating on me when Spike would have told me, just to get Xander in trouble." Anya said with certain clarity.

"Oh, that's even worse! God! Fucking a male Vampire? How sick can you get?" The woman said with obvious distaste.

"What? Xander isn't gay! He's too good at giving me orgasm's to be." Anya said, now the one disgusted.

"Two days Anyanka!"

"NOT GAY Margarete!" With that, Anya walked off, a bit more upset then she was a few moments ago, but reminding herself all the way to the Harris household that Xander would never cheat on her.

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Coming down the stairs leading to the basement, Anya heard the voices of her boyfriend, Xander of course, and the British-Vampire himself, Spike. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but she knew the voices, and they sounded frustrated. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, Anya found her boyfriend and Spike on the cement floor, entangled together. Xander in his green and blue checkered boxers, and Spike in his tight, form-fitting black jeans, and blood red undershirt, the Doc Martins thrown to the side. Anya heard Spike growl and Xander yell something inaudible, since his face was smashed into Spike's chest. Anya could have taken this situation two ways; A: Spike jumped Xander and forced Xander to give him orgasms all night. Or B: Xander was Gay. Of course, neither was correct, but Anya chose to jump to conclusions and picked B, the conversation with Margy flashing through her mind.

"Oh, my God, Xander! Your Gay!" Anya shouted, well, more like shrieked. "I knew it! I knew it! We've been having less and less orgasms while that...blonde freak has been living here! You don't keep him tied up, and I see the way you two look at each other! That fighting thing you two
constantly do is just a cover up!" Anya ranted as she gathered up her things around the apartment, while the two on the ground looked on with stark stock.

The men continued to look on, frozen on the spot as Anya stopped and viewed them further. The dark-eyed man's strong, masculine hand was on Spike's thin shoulder, while his other was somewhere under the blonde's firm ass. Spike's own, thinner and more feminine hands where on Xander's hip and on the brunette man's hair, gripping firmly. As far as the ex-demon was concerned, she had caught Xander having sex with Spike.

"My God Xander! You are having orgasms with Spike. With Spike and without me! That's it! We're breaking up! You go ahead and have gay Spike-sex with the gayness you obviously have and I'll...I'll...go have lesbian sex with...with...Harmony! Take that!" Anya picked up the now full gym bag containing her things and turned on her heel, facing away from the still- speechless two-some on the basement's floor. The now seriously pissed off ex-girlfriend stomped up the stairs and slammed the door closed behind her, wanting to run back to Margy and say she was sorry and that she should have believed her from the start.

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Xander, finally out of the state of shock, took one look at the male- vampire besides him, meeting brown eyes with blue, and pulled his now almost numb hand out from under the blonde's ass......along with the remote they had been fighting over.