Pairing: Xander/Conner Xander/Spike, Xander/Spike/Conner
Rating: NC17
Summary: After fleeing Sunnydale in heartbreak, Xander meets Connor in LA.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, more is the pity.
Distribution: I never say no. I'm easy that way ;-p
A/N: A big thank you to my wonderful beta Alex.
A/N 2: Some spoilers for season 7 of Buffy and season 4 of Angel.
Kindness, Love, and Acceptance
by Cassy
"Stupid vampire, fucks me over again." The slurred words coming from the corner booth at the back of the bar drew Connor's attention. He was in a truly foul mood and looking for something to beat the hell out of. If this man knew where there was a vampire, he wanted to know.
"Excuse me, did you say vampire?" Connor was stunned as the man lifted his head and looked at him; he hadn't seen such pain in someone's eyes since the last time he had looked in the mirror. He saw himself in the pain-filled gaze of the stranger in front of him.
"Yeah, why? Think they’re some myth, some fairytale creature that can't really hurt you?" The stranger snorted. "They're real, and they can hurt you without even touching you; they can tear out your heart with a look, with a word - a whispered name." The stranger fell silent and Connor took a seat across from him.
"I believe in vampires, I know demons are real, I kill them." He sipped on his cola and studied the man across from him. After realizing he wasn't going to get anything else from this man without asking, he spoke up. "So where is this vampire? I will kill him for you."
The stranger lifted his head from his study of the filthy tabletop and really looked at the young man in front of him. There was something almost feral in the way he looked, wild - animalistic. Not a bad look for him actually. He struck out his hand and waited till the other man clasped it. "Xander Harris."
Connor shook his hand in return. "Connor. I don't exactly have a last name. I was raised by a madman in a hell dimension." He smiled when the older man - Xander - choked on his drink and his eyes bugged out.
"I can see why you'd believe in demons then, and why you hunt them. I used to do that too, well sort of. I helped the slayer, do you know about slayers?" Connor nodded, he had been told about slayers by both Angel and Wesley. They were like him, human but stronger than normal. He wanted to meet one ever since hearing about them.
Xander was feeling the effects of the alcohol he had been steadily ingesting for the last several hours. He had gotten into L.A. about ten o'clock that morning, and after finding a hotel had proceeded to this bar and started drinking. He just wanted to forget. Forget everything, everyone, just forget.
The first evil had been banished. Buffy and Principal Wood were a couple, a good couple. Willow had Kennedy, Dawn was crushing on Andrew, God only knew why; Anya had gone to England with Giles, so that left him and Spike. It figured that they would end up together, the two losers.
So when had everything gone sour? That would have been when Spike whispered Angel's name while they were making love. At least Xander thought that was what they were doing, obviously he was wrong. Once again, he was just a tool for someone else to get his rocks off. Once again, Angel comes between him and the one he wants.
"Fucking vampire, oughtta kill him, shove a stake so far up his ass he tastes his own dust in his mouth before he dies. Hate him, fucking hate him." Xander slugged back the rest of his drink, ignoring - for the moment - the young man across from him.
It sounded to Connor like this man knew the vampire in question, like perhaps they had history, like himself and his father. His father who was in love with Cordelia, the woman he slept with, the woman he gave his heart to. The woman who used him and discarded him in favour of his father. He hated him.
"Vampires, huh! Untrustworthy, deceitful... he says he loves me, then he takes her from me. He says he's different, not like others. Liar. He's exactly the same, a monster. A monster who deserves to die." Connor finished his drink, wishing for a moment that it was something stronger than cola.
"So, Xander. The name of this vampire?" Connor was looking forward to staking him; he could pretend it was Angel and take out his frustrations. When he heard his father’s name on the man's lips, he crushed the empty glass in his hand.
"Angel? You know him? How?" Xander looked up and met Connor's eyes. "The bastard ruined my life. Constantly. How about you? You know him too, don't you? What did he do to you?"
Connor grimaced and picked a shard of glass out of his hand before answering. "Cursed me with this existence, allowed a madman to escape with me into a hell dimension, took the only woman I loved from me. Some father, huh?"
This time it was Xander who broke glass, not by crushing it but by allowing it to drop from his suddenly slack fingers. "Father? You mean... how?" Connor snorted. "Prophecy, you probably know my mother as well, although she's dust now. Darla, ring any bells?"
Xander's head was spinning. Darla, Angel, prophecies, Connor. Him, Spike, loss, betrayal. It was all too much; he couldn't take it. If he didn't get out of there right now he was going to go insane. "I gotta get some air, you wanna take a walk? We'll trade 'I hate Angel' stories or something."
Connor nodded and the two men walked out of the bar and into the night.
~!~
"So, Angel is your Dad, that has to suck." Xander was weaving his way down the sidewalk toward his hotel, Connor beside him. He couldn't imagine having Angel as a father, not that his own was any great role model, but a vampire? Deadboy? Uh uh.
"It does. I was raised by a man named Holtz; he took me from Angelus when I was an infant, to replace the family the demon destroyed. He was a good father, he loved me. He was just crazy with grief and revenge. We found a way back here two years ago; Holtz is dead now." Connor wasn't sure why he was telling this stranger his life story except that he felt he could trust him.
"My father - Angel - has been trying to convince me that he is not the same man who destroyed Holtz's family, that having his soul makes him different, better. At one point I almost believed him. Then he took her from me." Connor stopped when he realized that they were at Xander's hotel. "I should go."
Xander wanted to hear more about this; he was fascinated with Connor’s story. He took a chance and invited Connor up to his room to talk. He smiled when Connor nodded and followed him into the lobby. The elevator ride was made in silence, but once they were inside the room, Xander asked the question that had been bugging him for a while now. "So who was she, the girl Angel stole from you?"
Connor's eyes darkened with rage as he remembered what had happened. It had been a tough battle, the beast had been brought down by Angelus and he was at the hotel looking after Cordelia. The others were celebrating the victory, when it happened.
Cordelia had come into the room and smiled at him, she showed him her swollen abdomen and told him he was going to be a father. Then she laid him gently on the bed and kissed him. They had made love again, this time without the threat of the world coming to an end. Afterwards she had left him; he woke up alone. He searched the hotel for her but she wasn't there. He went out into the city to find her but she wasn't in any of the places he knew to look for her.
When he returned to the Hyperion, Cordelia was asleep in her room. He had sat by her bed watching her sleep. He was awed by the changes in her body in just a few hours, she was bigger, more swollen in the belly and breasts. Connor had little experience with this sort of thing but he knew it wasn't normal. Then again, he had been born of two vampires and Cordy was a demon of a sort. Perhaps this wasn't so abnormal after all.
It was early morning when he had been awakened by the cries of his beloved. Cordelia was moaning and gasping in pain, her eyes were pure white and blood was staining the sheet beneath her. Connor tried to leave, to get the others to help but she stopped him. She told him what to do and he helped her to bring their child into the world.
He remembered the way she smiled at him, and kissed his cheek. How she made him promise to always keep their child safe. Then she closed her eyes and died. There was a blinding light and then Angel appeared in the middle of the room and fell to the floor. He was confused, disorientated. Connor grabbed his child and fled out the window, he would not allow the demon to take his son.
It had taken two weeks for them to find him, he was good at hiding, he grew up in a hell dimension after all. They cornered him, Angel, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred. He refused to give up without a fight, even after he had learned that Angel had his soul again. He remembered that Cordy had made him promise to keep their son safe and away from Angel.
Then he had seen her, she stepped out from behind his father, Cordelia. She smiled at him so sadly that it broke his heart. When she held out her hand to him he broke down and cried. She held him and told him everything would be all right. It wasn't and it never would be. She wasn't his, she never had been. With her demon power she made him aware of everything at once, how it hadn't been her but an impostor who had taken her form, how it was the beast’s master who had seduced him, and borne his child. That the child itself was prophesied to end the world and had to be destroyed.
She had taken the child from his arms and handed it over to the others. Wesley performed a ritual to show the inherit evil that lived within the innocent looking baby. Angel grimaced but did what he had to; he killed the child and saved the world. Connor howled in grief and rage, he tore away from Cordelia and attacked Angel. They fought. Connor threw everything he had at his father, all his pain and frustration, every ounce of hurt and grief.
In the end, it wasn't enough. Angel held him down and made him listen, made him face the truth, that he had been used, had played out his destiny as the destroyer. That it was over now, and he could come home. That they were family, that he loved him.
Connor took one look at Cordelia, saw the way she looked at Angel and fled. She wasn't his, never had been. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that a demon, a spawn of hell, got to have a better life than he did. Angel had everything Connor wanted, a family, a purpose, a mission, Cordelia, a child. Even if he did hate him, he was still Angel's child. Angel had destroyed his, just taken his son from him and destroyed him. He would never forgive that.
~!~
Part 2
Connor came back to himself and realized he hadn't answered Xander's question. "Cordelia. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She was mine, and he took her." Connor saw the look of recognition on the other man’s face. "You know her?"
Xander nodded. "We went to school together, even dated for a while. So she's with Deadboy now, huh? What is it with him and Sunnydale chicks? First Buffy, now Cordy. Hell I'm surprised he didn't hook up with Harmony when she was in town."
Connor didn't know who Buffy and Harmony were, but he was pretty sure he now knew why Xander hated his father as well; a woman. Possibly two of them. "So, now you know my story, tell me yours?"
Xander snorted. "It all started when I was sixteen and Buffy moved to town... " Xander filled Connor in on what happened that year, including Angel's soul-free period, being sent to hell, coming back, and then leaving town. "She never really got over him though, never really moved on. She even went so far as to hook up with another vampire, talk about substituting. Then William, I thought he was mine, but no. The mighty Angel has to be there as well. Called out his name during... well you know."
Connor looked stunned. "William? But isn't that a man?" Xander laughed. He looked at Connor’s shocked expression and laughed again.
"Yeah, it is. With my track record with women, I decided it was time to try something new. He was just as screwed up as I was, figured I'd give it a go. We dated, nothing too serious at first. Then the first time we actually did anything, he called out Angel's name. Fucking vampire; I hate that bastard." Xander wasn't even sure which vampire he was talking about anymore. He hated Angel for always being better than he, but he hated Spike as well. For using him, for making him care and then ripping his heart out with one word.
Connor had never considered that option, that perhaps it wasn't as unnatural as his father - Holtz had told him. After all, a lot of what he had been told growing up had proved to be untrue. So, why not this?
Xander watched Connor closely; he wasn't a bad looking kid. Slim build like Spike's, pale skin, and nice hands. And he was Angel's. Someone Angel wanted and couldn't have, but maybe... maybe he could.
Xander started to formulate an evil plan. A plan to seduce the young man in front of him and then flaunt it in front of Angel. Yeah, it'd probably get him killed, but it would be worth it.
Connor was thinking the same thing, sort of. "So, my father hates you? Then he certainly wouldn't approve of my being here, would he?" Connor saw that Xander understood where he was going with this and smiled.
"No. He'd be very upset. In fact, I'd bet he would extremely angry." Xander slowly approached Connor and held out his hand. "He might even want to hunt me down and kill me."
"Are you willing to take that risk?" The young man was beginning to understand the older man's level of hatred for his father. It was something he understood and empathized with. He wasn't sure what exactly was going to happen in this room tonight, but if it made his father angry, if it made him feel half as betrayed as he felt - it would be worth it.
Xander ran his hand lightly up Connor’s arm and rested it on his shoulder. "You've never done this before, have you?" Connor shook his head and Xander smiled. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you." Then he cupped the young man's cheek and brought their mouths together for a soft, slow kiss.
Connor responded to the kiss, letting himself just feel and not think about it. The hands on his body were larger than he was used to but still they felt good. The kiss was nice too, not that he had a lot of kisses to compare it to. When it stopped and he opened his eyes, he saw concern in the chocolate brown eyes in front of him.
"Was that okay?" Xander wouldn't push if Connor didn't want this. Yeah he wanted to seduce the young man, but not against his will. He sighed in relief when Connor nodded his head and smiled shyly.
Connor allowed Xander to lead him to the bed and lay him down on it gently. He watched in avid interest as the dark haired man removed his shirt and then his socks and shoes - leaving him in just his jeans. He tensed briefly as Xander began to remove his shoes and socks as well.
"Is this okay? I won't do anything you don't want. Promise." Xander waited while Connor seemed to think over his decision. Then Connor sat up and Xander had a brief moment of regret, thinking Connor would leave. He smiled as the young man pulled his sweater over his head and lay back down. He finished removing Connor's shoes and socks and then lay down on the bed beside him.
"Just relax. We'll go slow, you can tell me to stop if you want to." Connor nodded and then shuddered softly as Xander began to circle one of his nipples with his finger. More kisses were exchanged and Connor barely felt it when knowing fingers began to open his pants and slip inside. At the first touch of rough callused fingers on his swollen flesh, Connor's eyes snapped open and a harsh cry erupted from his mouth.
"Shh, relax. Just feel." Xander kissed his way down Connor’s chest and slowly slid the young man's jeans down his legs as he did so. He stopped to admire the view, the light sheen of sweat that covered the boy's body, the way his fingers were clenched into the bed cover, the way his chest rose and fell with each panted breath.
Xander shook himself out of his reverie and went back to his task. He removed the jeans entirely and then knelt between the outstretched thighs. He licked a wet stripe up the underside of the hard cock in front of him and smiled when Connor bucked up and swore violently. Yeah, he was pretty sure his was the first mouth that had ever touched him this way. Cordelia Chase was far too dignified to suck cock.
Xander took Connor into his mouth and suckled lightly, he wanted to pleasure him, but not bring him off yet. He fumbled in his pants pocket and found the tube of lubricant he had begun carrying since he and Spike started 'dating'. He opened it and applied some to his fingers.
Connor barely felt the first finger enter his body - too caught up in the sensation of having a hot wet mouth on his cock. If this was something that men did with each other he could understand the attraction. It felt wonderful. By the time he noticed what else Xander was doing, the older man had found his prostate gland and began to stimulate that as well.
Connor groaned as he felt the second finger breach his tight opening. It hurt a bit and there was a burning sensation, but the other man kept up the gentle suckling on his cock and brushed that wonderful spot inside of him again and he quickly forgot about the discomfort.
By the time Xander had worked three fingers into him, Connor was thrashing and moaning on the bed. He was so close, but every time he thought he would explode, Xander stopped what he was doing. It was maddening. Then Xander withdrew his fingers and released his flesh from his mouth.
"Are you ready for the best part?" Xander smiled as he slipped out of his jeans and Connor got his first look at his naked form. His eyes bulged but he nodded his agreement. So far everything Xander had done had made him feel good, so he was going to trust him.
"I'm ready." Connor had a pretty good idea what came next. He watched as the dark hairdo man removed a small foil packet from his discarded pants and tore it open. He stared in fascination as he rolled a thin sheath of latex over his shaft and then wiped his hands on the bedspread.
"Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. If it starts to hurt tell me and I'll stop." Xander positioned Connor on his stomach and placed a couple pillows under his hips. He slowly slid inside the younger man and gasped at the tight heat that enclosed him. He held himself still while Connor panted beneath him and waited for the boy to adjust.
Xander moved slowly, adjusting his angle until Connor cried out and he knew he had it right. Then he began to move in earnest. Long slow thrusts that stroked his partner just right each time. He could feel Connor begin to shake and knew he was close. He slipped a hand underneath him and began to stroke him off as he increased the strength and tempo of his own thrusts.
Connor came first, howling and bucking wildly. Xander followed right behind him. He collapsed heavily on top of the smaller man, panting harshly in his ear. He managed to roll off of him before passing out.
~!~
Xander woke with a warm body next to him. A warm, decidedly male body from the feel of things. A new experience in his life. The only man he'd ever woken up with before had been Spike, and he was always room temperature if not downright cool.
Sitting up slightly in bed, Xander took a good look at his sleeping companion. He was attractive enough, young, slim, pale enough to pass for a vampire. Then again, his parents were both vamps so why not. He thought about what he had done last night. He had seduced an innocent young boy into his bed for revenge against his lover's sire.
"So, what does that make me then? If I can do something like this, what makes me any better than Angel?" Xander felt awful; the truth was, he was pretty sure he loved Spike, and he wanted to see if things could work between them - regardless of what had happened. But now, he had gone and taken Angel’s son to bed. Could Spike forgive him? Would Angel find out and kill him? Both were good possibilities.
Of course it all really depended on the young man in his bed. If Connor didn't go home, stayed away from Angel for awhile and never told him what happened... Then again, he would still know what he did. Could he go back to Spike and lie to him about this?
With a groan of frustration Xander flopped back down on the bed. The jarring movement woke Connor and he rolled over and opened his eyes. Then he jumped out of bed and fell on his ass. He realized he was naked and blushed furiously as he struggled into his pants.
Xander watched as Connor dressed and tried to figure out what he was going to say to the young man. If he hadn't drunk so much last night, he never would have done this. Just because he was hurting was no excuse to drag an equally hurting, emotionally confused young man into it.
With a heavy sigh, Xander sat up and grabbed his jeans. He stood up and stepped into them with his back turned to the embarrassed young man on the other side of the room. Once he was dressed he took a deep fortifying breath and turned to face him.
He wasn't there. "Oooookay. Must have inherited his father’s stealth skills." Xander checked the bathroom but all he found was an open window. Looking out into the street below, he wondered how Connor had managed a five-story drop without at least seriously injuring himself.
Knowing that there was no point in putting off the inevitable, Xander showered, redressed and left the hotel. He figured if he drove straight through, he could be back in Sunnydale in about three hours.
~!~
Part 3
Xander stood outside his apartment door and debated on whether he should go in or not. A big part of him wanted to just turn back around and drive back to L.A. He knew Spike might not even be there; after waking up alone it was likely he took off.
Xander took a deep breath and put the key in the lock. He turned the doorknob and slowly pushed open the door. He stepped inside and was just closing the door when he was flattened against it and a snarling blonde vampire was in his face.
"Where. Have. You. Been. Xander?"
Xander opened his mouth to reply when all of a sudden he was instantly released and Spike stepped back, a look of rage on his face. Xander swallowed and tried to speak again only to find himself being sniffed at.
Spike sniffed his neck, his chest, and then dropped to his knees and pushed his face into Xander's groin. He snarled and bared his teeth at him. He could smell someone else’s scent on the man. Something almost familiar. Spike stood up and walked away from the flustered human.
"Spike, wait. I can explain."
"Explain what, Xander? How you left me sleeping and took off to fuck someone else? This some sort of game to you? Revenge for the slayer? I thought we were past all of that, I thought you loved me."
Xander ran his hands through his hair and sighed. Damn vampire senses. He showered before he left L.A.; he thought he was safe to come home. "I do. Spike..."
"Don't Xander, don't say you love me and expect me to sit back and watch as you fuck around on me. I won't do it. Not again."
"It was a mistake. I was drunk. I was hurting because of you."
Spike spun around and his yellow eyes bored into Xander. "Because of me? And what the hell did I do that made you run off and get drunk? How is your fucking around my fault?"
"When we made love, you called me Angel." The answer was whispered so low, had Spike not been a demon, he would have missed it. As it was, he wished he had. He thought back to the night they had finally consummated their relationship. Had he actually done that to the young man? Called him his sire's name?
"Xander, I'm sorry. I don't remember saying that."
"But you did. It hurt Spike. I won't be a substitute for someone else, if you want him then please don't use me as someone to pass the time. I couldn't stand that."
Now Spike felt like shit. He could understand why Xander took off now. He could even understand the getting drunk and shagging someone. He had done it himself in the past. Anya was a good example of that. "Who was it? Anyone I know?"
Xander walked into the living room and flopped onto the couch. He put his head in his hands and sighed. "I went to L.A." Spike growled and stormed over to the couch. He was about to drag Xander to his feet and shake him for going to Angel when he spoke again.
"I went into this cheap little bar and got drunk. I was three sheets to the wind, muttering to myself about "stupid fucking vampires" when this kid sits down across from me. He tells me he knows about vamps, that he hunts them. We start talking. He asks the name of the vampire that bothered me, offered to dust him for me." Xander started to chuckle. "Gods, what was I thinking? Telling some kid in a bar all my problems? That's not me. Anyway, so I tell him the vamps name is Angel, and he crushes the glass in his hand."
Spike sat down next to Xander, he was still in game face and still not happy. "So this kid? He knows Angel?"
"You could say that."
"And what? You had something in common so you shagged him?"
Xander cringed at Spike's bluntness. "Not exactly. I mean yeah, I had sex with him. But it was more because of how he knew Angel. I was pissed Spike, not just in the drunk off my face sense. I was angry, with you, with Angel. I wanted revenge."
"How does the kid fit into this?"
"He's Angel's."
"He's Angel's what? One of his groupies, his little human pets?"
"He's Angel's son. His and Darla's"
~!~
Spike was silent for some time after Xander's confession. Xander left the room and showered again, he soaped himself over and over until the hot water ran out. When he came back out to the living room, Spike was still on the sofa but he was back in his human face at least. "What happened to the kid? Christ, do you even know his name?"
"Of course I do! Jesus Spike, what kind of person do you think I am? His name is Connor..." Spike snorted. "... and he jumped out the bathroom window this morning. I don't know where he went after that."
"Well, pet. You better hope he didn't go back to Daddy. Otherwise I can expect we'll be having company soon."
Xander groaned and hung his head. Now he knew why drinking was a bad idea. It never solved your problems; it just made more of them. "I'm sorry, Spike. Are we gonna be okay?"
"As long as this never happens again luv. I won't be your bit on the side, if we're gonna be together, it has to be monogamous. I don't do open relationships."
"I know. It is. I don't want anyone else. I love you."
"Then we'll be fine. Providing of course that Angelus doesn't show up here and tear you to bits."
"Thanks for the positive reinforcement there, Spike." Spike chuckled and pulled Xander into his arms. They sat contentedly on the sofa waiting to see what the night would bring them.
~!~
Part 4
Connor ran. After jumping from the hotel window, he hit the street and ran as fast as he could. He didn't understand what had happened last night, why he had let that man - Xander - do those things to him. He was angry with his father, confused about everything that had happened in his life. He didn't know how to deal with this.
His life before, in Quortoth, was simpler in many ways. He fought, he hunted and he trained for the day he would come back and avenge his father - Holtz. It was all he knew. There was no question of where his loyalty lay, of where he belonged. Now, everything was different.
He had fallen in love with Cordelia and had been given everything he ever wanted only to have it snatched away. And then to be told it was all a lie to begin with. That the woman he loved was in love with his father. She had chosen hell spawn over him. He hated Angel with a passion he never knew; not even the brutal murder of his stepfather’s family had incurred such wrath in him. And he was raised to hate him for that very reason.
So now here he was, mad as hell, and running away from a perfect opportunity to make his father suffer. Why? Because he panicked about waking up next to a man. He knew it was acceptable to be with a member of the same sex in this day and age. He had seen same-sex couples out together in public. Cordelia told him she had a friend who was... gay? Yes that was the term she had used, gay.
The man, Xander, had told him that Angel would be furious if he were to find out they had slept together. So why was he running all over L.A. and not going to tell his father who he had spent the night with? Simple really. He liked the man; they had a lot in common and if his father found out about them, he would surely kill him. Connor didn't want to see that happen. He wished he hadn't have panicked that morning and took off. He had enjoyed himself with Xander and wouldn't have minded seeing him again.
Something occurred to him just then; Xander had mentioned that he knew Cordelia, that they had dated when they were younger. He tried to remember the name of the town she was from. Sunnyhell? No that was just a nickname. Connor sat on the edge of the curb next to the street. He closed his eyes and thought back to the conversation the night before * What is it with him and Sunnydale chicks?*
"Sunnydale! Yes!" Connor walked to the nearest phone booth and dialed information. "Yes, the number for a Xander Harris in Sunnydale please."
He was told there was no one listed under that name but they did have an Alexander Harris and gave him the number and address. Connor hung up the phone and went back to the museum where he was staying in one of the abandoned upper rooms to pack his things. He would go to Sunnydale and find Xander. Then he would apologize for running out on him this morning.
~!~
Connor looked around the street he was standing on. This was certainly different from L.A. The truck driver he had hitched a ride with had been worried about leaving him here; he said that strange things seemed to happen in this town and for him to be careful. He thanked the man for his concern. With a nickname like Sunnyhell, he wasn't letting his guard down for a moment.
It was late in the afternoon and he wasn't sure he wanted to be on the streets after dark so he ducked into a service station and purchased a map of the town. He located the street Xander lived on and started to make his way there on foot. He was still several blocks away from his target when the sun sank below the horizon.
The vampire came out of nowhere. It was fast, but it was obviously young. Connor dispatched it easily. He hadn't expected to be jumped by a demon out in the open like this.
Just what kind of place was this Sunnydale? When he'd listened to Cordelia speak of growing up here, he had assumed she was just putting a spin on things, embellishing like she usually did. But by the time he had dusted three vampires, he had to admit that perhaps she was being truthful, maybe even downplaying it somewhat.
~!~
Connor stood outside the building that Xander lived in. Now that he was here, he was unsure of what the next step should be. He wanted to see him, but he feared being rejected again. After Cordelia, he wasn't sure if he could take it. He had so little experience with people, with love, with anything other than fighting. For survival, for enjoyment, for food. It was all he knew for so many years. He sometimes wished he were still there. He felt so alien and out of place here.
In this place, there was kindness, love, acceptance, but not for him. He saw lovers holding hands as they walked in the park, saw other boys his age in groups laughing, playing, having fun. He saw the way fathers and sons acted toward one another, how they loved and accepted each other. He didn't have that - never had. Holtz had raised him to be hard, emotionless, a weapon of vengeance. But he had loved him anyway. He was the only father he knew.
The others, Cordelia, Fred, Gunn, Lorne - they had told him how much Angel had loved him, how happy he had been when he became a father. How devastated he had been when Holtz had taken him. He had seen the photographs of himself as an infant, Cordelia holding him in her arms like a mother. He knew, deep down that she would always see herself that way, that she had loved him as her own when he was a baby. He even sort of understood how she must feel now, knowing what had happened between them. But it didn't make the hurt any less. It didn't make the pain go away.
He was alone. He had no friends, no lovers, no family. Angel's blood might run through his veins but that didn't make them family. Family was people who loved you, people who would stand by you and not let you down. Angel had let him down time and again.
Okay, so he had dumped him in the ocean and left him to rot. He was confused, had been made to believe that the vampire had killed the man he thought of as a father. It was Justine's idea, after all; he was just the muscle. Always had been. He did what he was told, never questioned why. Holtz had instilled fear of disobedience into him at a very early age. He had learned quickly that pain was a strong motivator.
Connor looked up as the lights came on in one of the upper apartments. He wondered if it was Xander's place, if he were alone. He remembered Xander talking about another man - William; had they gotten back together? Or was Xander up there all by himself, as alone and miserable as he was? There was only one way to find out.
~!~
Part 5
Xander was quiet. It unnerved Spike; he wasn't accustomed to a silent Xander. The boy was always talking, joking, laughing about something. Now he was just silent. The TV was on, some silly show with a bunch of thirty-something actors pretending to be twenty-something college students. It usually made his lover laugh. Not tonight. Spike was about to scream, he was so frustrated. He flicked off the television and sat down on the far end of the couch. "All right, pet. What's bothering you?"
"It's nothing."
"Bullshit. It ain't nothing if it's got you this upset."
"I don't want to talk about it. Not with you."
Spike was instantly offended. Then he frowned as the truth hit him. Xander was brooding about the boy - Angel's son - Connor. And he didn't want to talk about it with him. "Well, too bad. You take off, you fuck someone else, and then sit here brooding about it and tell me you don't want to talk about it? Not on, luv. You don't get off that easy. I think, since I was incredibly understanding about the whole fuckin' around bit, that I have a right to know what you're thinking."
Xander sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He really didn't want to talk about this. In fact, he'd like to forget the whole thing ever happened. But he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Connor's face. He saw the trust in those eyes, trust that he betrayed by taking advantage of him. And the worst part was, he liked the kid. Under different circumstances, he would have liked to see where it could have gone.
"I was just wondering who the hell I am."
"What d'you mean, luv?"
"I don't drink, I don't run away, and I certainly don't fool around on my lover. So I ask you, who the hell am I?"
Spike didn't have any answer for this. Xander never was much of a drinker - the odd beer now and again sure, but never had Spike seen him drunk. He wasn't a runner, always throwing himself in the line of fire, not once thinking of abandoning his friends. And Spike knew his boy didn't cheat. Not since he'd been caught kissing the witch back in high school. It had cost him Cordelia, and he had never strayed after that. So what was he to say? How did he assure his lover when he himself didn't understand what had happened?
"Er, well, you're Xander. You're loyal..." Xander snorted disgustedly. "...brave, funny; you're beautiful..." That got Xander to look at him. It was a look that clearly stated that he doubted Spike's sanity. "...and you're mine. Other than that, Xan I don't know. Why don't you tell me what happened. Everything that happened, and we'll see if we can't figure it out together."
So Xander did. He told him about how his heart broke hearing Angel's name whispered on his lips as he drove inside of him. How he just couldn't stay there and be a substitute for someone else. How he felt knowing that once again, Angel had taken the one he loved. He told him about his miserable day in the seedy L.A. bar. How by the time Connor had come in he was thoroughly pickled in cheap whiskey.
He described - in agonizing detail - how he had seduced the young man, using his own pain and uncertainties against him. How he had made him want what he was offering. How he had destroyed a young man’s innocence in the name of revenge. They were quiet for some time afterwards. Spike was still reeling from the picture of his lover seducing this young man. He saw the whole thing in his mind’s eye, the gentle touches, the soft lingering kisses. It was almost as if he were in the room, watching it as it happened.
"That's not the worst part though, Spike. If ... if things were different, if it were another time and place, I'd have gone after him."
Spike knew that Xander was telling the truth. He was just glad that it wasn't another time and place, that Xander had come back to him, not gone after this Connor instead. He wasn't sure what had made him say Angel's name, but he knew he would never do anything like that again. He couldn't stand to lose Xander, and certainly not now when he knew that there was someone else out there that his lover was interested in.
"Well luv, it's sounds to me like you're a decent man who made a mistake. You're sitting there beating yourself up over this kid you seduced. Another person wouldn't be doing that. They'd be glad the kid did a runner, happy to not have to face them again. But you, you're sitting around wondering if he's all right, if he hates you for what you did."
"I owe him an apology, Spike. I used him. I can't forgive myself for what I've done, to him, to you, to us. I need to find him just to explain. I don't think I can get past this until I do."
"I understand. I don't like it, but I understand. You wouldn't be you if you didn't feel this way. Do you want me to come with you?"
"No. I think it'd be better if I went alone."
Spike clamped down on the urge to vamp out and growl. His demon was raging at the idea of Xander being alone with this boy who he had already been unfaithful with once. He wasn't sure he could do this; letting Xander go off on his own went against every instinct he had.
"I won't be long, Spike. I'll just go to L.A., find him, apologize and come home." Xander kissed Spike, grabbed his keys and was out the door before Spike could stop him.
~!~
Spike sat in stunned silence. He couldn't believe Xander had just left like that. He couldn't believe he'd let him. It was so much easier in the old days; he never would have taken up with a human in the first place, he'd have simply turned Xander. As a vampire and his childe, Xander would have had no choice but to stay put. Then again, Spike would have likely torn him apart for cheating. This whole soul-having experience was a pain in the ass.
The knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts and he stood and strode angrily across the room to answer it. If it was the slayer or her new boy-toy he was going to rip them a new one.
He snarled as the scent of the young man in the hallway filled his nostrils. He reached out and grabbed him by the throat and dragged him inside. He had him pressed up against the back of the door before he was able to reign in the demon's lust for revenge.
Connor wasn't expecting to be hauled inside by a vampire. He was so stunned that the demon had him completely restrained before he had a chance to react. He struggled to get free, but Spike wasn't some weak minion; he was a master vampire, with a master's strength. And his demon was mighty pissed at the young man in front of him.
"So, you're Connor then? Can see what Xander saw in you. Doesn't make it right though, does it?" Spike sneered at the boy and Connor resumed his fight for freedom. "What are you doing here, boy? Come to see if you stood a chance with Xander? That it? Well forget it! He's mine, see. And I know all about what happened between you, I know who and what you are."
"I know what you are too, demon. Does Xander know what he lies with at night? Does he know his 'William' is nothing more than a monster?"
Spike laughed in Connor’s face. "Of course he does. He loves me anyway. And the name is Spike, mate. You might want to remember that; go ask your Daddy all about me. I'm sure he'd have lots of pretty little tales to tell you."
"You know Angelus? My father?"
"?Course I do. We go way back, we do. You could even say he's the reason I'm here."
"He made you a vampire?"
"No. But he made the vampire who made me."
"Are you going to kill me?"
"No."
"Why not? Isn't that what demons do? Or are you going to tell me you're not like the others, that you're different. That you have a soul?"
Spike shook his head and chuckled ruefully. "Well, now that you mention it. I am different, and I do have a soul. But that's not why I'm not gonna kill you. I won't kill you 'cause Xander'd be angry with me, and I love him."
"Demons can't love."
"Can too. 'Sides, like I said, I have a soul." Spike let Connor go and stepped back. Connor reached inside his jacket for a stake and Spike smirked at him. "Tsk tsk, pet. What are you gonna do? Stake me? How do you think Xander will feel coming home to find me dust? Think he'll just say 'oh well' and take you to bed? Not likely, pup. Told you before, he loves me." In a lightening-fast move, Spike had the stake out of Connor’s hand and tucked it into the back pocket of his jeans. "'Sides, I'm faster than you."
Connor stood confused and stared at the vampire. He didn't understand what was happening. "Where is Xander?"
"Gone to L.A. Went looking for you. To explain things, apologize about last night."
"Then he regrets it." Connor looked dejected and turned toward the door. "Tell him, he's forgiven. I won't bother him again."
Spike growled at himself for what he was about to do. "Hold up. Where are you going to go?"
"I don't know."
"Sit down then. No point in rushing off if you got nowhere to be."
"Why are you doing this? Being nice to me?"
"Dunno, pet. Must be the soul."
"My father has a soul; he's not nice."
Spike snorted. "Yeah, well. Let me tell you a story about a drunken Irish lout who did nothing but steal from his da, and spend his time with tavern whores. Then I'll tell you a little about a soft-spoken English poet who never hurt no one and wore his heart on his sleeve. Then you can tell me why Angel is the way he is and I'm the way I am. Okay?"
Connor nodded and sat down in the chair across from the sofa and listened as Spike told him everything he knew about Angel's human life, and that of William the bloody awful poet.
~!~
Part 6
Xander had no idea how he was going to find Connor in a city as big as L.A. He didn't know where he lived, or where he worked - if he worked, or even why he was in the bar last night. He wasn't about to go to Angel and ask after him; that was a one-way ticket to an ass kicking.
Xander decided to start back at the scene of the crime and headed for the bar. Once inside he went to the bar and asked the bartender if he recognized him from the night before. The man looked at him and then nodded. Xander then asked him if he knew the boy that he had been sitting with the night before.
"No, can't say I've seen him here before. He's a bit young for this place; we mostly get serious drinkers in here."
"Damn it. Well, thanks anyway."
Xander left the bar and walked around the neighbourhood for an hour or so before giving up. This was a stupid idea; he had no idea where to even begin to look for him. He had two options, go home and live with the guilt that was gnawing away at him, or try to get the info from Deadboy or Cordy without being obvious about it. He snorted in disgust. There was no way he'd be able to pull off nonchalant with Angel. Damn vampires and their extra senses; he'd know he was lying, or at least be suspicious enough to not tell him anything.
Xander got back in his car and after repeatedly banging his head on the steering wheel for a good two minutes straight drove back toward the highway. With his luck, Connor had gone to Angel and he'd get home only to find a very pissed off vampire waiting to rip him to shreds.
~!~
Connor could hardly believe what he had heard. The vampire across from him was so different from his father it was making him question his entire belief system. He had been raised to believe that all demons were evil - even souled ones such as his father. But Spike had gone out and asked for his soul. No, he had fought for it - like a prized possession - so that he could be good enough for the woman he loved. Angelus was cursed with a soul; Spike had been gifted.
"So, what happened with this Buffy girl?" Connor was genuinely interested in the vampire’s story. He seemed to have led a very interesting life here in Sunnydale. Some of the things he had told him about seemed like the stuff they put in movies - secret government organizations being the top of that list.
"Was never meant to be. I'm not the vampire she wants; I'm not Angel. Tell you the truth, I'm glad about it. I can't be with someone who doesn't want me - who doesn't see me when we're together. I was always just a stand-in, just took a while to realize it." Spike was itching for a drink; all this talk about his past and his relationship with Buffy was making him edgy.
"So, now that you know my story, how about you tell me yours?" Other than the fact that he was Darla and Angel's kid and he had slept with Xander, Spike knew next to nothing about Connor. He seemed like a nice kid, bit off centre perhaps, but having Angel for a father could do that to you.
"Okay. Well, I was raised by a man named Holtz in Quortoth." Spike raised an eyebrow at that. " I don't remember any other life before that; I was just an infant when I was taken from Angelus. My Dad - Holtz - taught me about demons, how to hunt them, how to kill them. He taught me how to survive. We came back here to this world with one mission - to make Angelus pay for murdering Holtz' family."
Spike held up a hand to interrupt. "This Holtz guy, he was from Angel's past, yeah?" He vaguely remembered hearing stories about Darla and Angelus running from this demon hunter, playing with him and killing his family. He wondered how he had come to be around in this century.
"Yes. He made a deal with a demon, to be frozen in time until the demon released him. He hunted my father, tricked his friend into taking me away and then kidnapped me. He escaped into Quortoth, and that's where I was raised." Connor waited to see if Spike would ask any more questions; when he remained silent he continued.
"When we came here, my father - Holtz - was aided by a woman named Justine. She killed him and made it look like the work of a vampire, the work of Angelus. With her help, I locked him in a metal box and dumped him in the ocean. He remained there for months. Eventually, Wesley found him. That's when they all turned against me."
"Hang on a mo'. You locked him up and tossed in the deep? Bloody hell, you got balls, kid. You want something to drink?" Spike stood and headed for the kitchen. He pulled a beer out of the fridge and then called back over his shoulder. "Got beer, soda, orange juice, milk and lemonade. I wouldn't recommend the lemonade, as Xander puts twice the amount of sugar in as it calls for."
"Soda's fine. Thank you."
Spike returned and handed Connor a can of soda and sat back down. He nodded his head for the boy to continue his story. Connor popped the tab on his beverage and took a drink.
"Cordelia had been missing since the same night Angel disappeared. When they found out I was behind what happened to Angel, they blamed me for her as well. It wasn't me. Turns out she ascended to a higher plane. I don't really understand it, but I think it had something to do with her being a demon."
Spike choked on his beer. "What? You mean to tell me the prom queen's not human anymore? Figures, no one who gets around Angel stays normal. Sorry, go on. It's fascinating, really."
"Things settled down somewhat, Cordy came home but she had amnesia. Lorne did this spell that was supposed to make her remember, instead everyone acted like they did when they younger. Angel thought he was human. After that, Cordy came to live with me. I trained with her; she hunted with me at night. She shared my bed, but only to sleep. I loved her."
Spike snorted. "Let me guess, Angel took her away from you right? Bloody bastard, always stealing other blokes? women. Took my Dru from me time and again. Took Buffy too, and he wasn't even here."
"He did. But not the way you think. She and I made love one night while the sky rained fire. She got pregnant. It was scary and amazing and it all happened so fast. The sun was unblocked from the sky, the beast was finally destroyed and I delivered our child into the world. My son." Connor trailed off and Spike could see that this was a painful memory for the kid. He waited, knowing that the boy needed time before continuing.
"She died, my Cordy. She made me promise to keep him safe and then she died. I took him, ran from the hotel. I hid, but it's not easy to hide when you have a child to care for. He caught up with us, cornered me. There was nowhere to run - I was trapped. Then I saw her. Cordelia was there, and she came to me and I thought everything would be okay. She took our child from my arms and passed him to Angelus without even looking at him. She told me it wasn't her. That everything was a lie, that my child was evil incarnate - that he would destroy the world. Angel killed him. He took my son and killed him."
"I'm sorry. My God, that must have been horrible."
"It was. I thought it was the worst I would ever feel. Then I saw the way she looked at Angel. It wasn't her, the woman I slept with was someone else - an impostor - but it was Cordelia that I fell in love with, and she was in love with my father. We fought, he won, so I left." Connor drank some more of his soda and wondered if he shouldn't be going now. It would be better if he was gone before Xander came home.
"So how'd you happen to run into Xan?"
"I went to a bar, I was planning to get drunk. I decided against it; L.A. has a lot of demons and I didn't want to be dinner. I heard Xander talking to himself about vampires; I wanted to kill something and thought he might know where I could find something."
"Alright, fair enough. How did you end up in his bed then?" Spike had heard Xander's side of the story, but he wanted to hear Connor’s, as well. He needed to know if this kid was going to be a problem, if he had any intention of trying to get Xander away from him.
"He told me my father would hate it, that Angelus hated him and the very idea that I had gone to bed with him would cause him a lot of grief and anger. I'm ashamed to admit that I did it for revenge. At first, anyway." Connor ducked his head and blushed. He couldn't believe he was sitting here in the home of the man he had slept with talking about it to his vampire lover. Once again, he longed for the simplicity of his life before, in Quortoth he only had to survive; here he had to live. Living meant interacting with other people and he was horrible at it.
Spike smirked at Connor’s blush. He knew firsthand how good Xander was with his hands; the kid never stood a chance. "Don't fret, told you already I'm not going to kill you or anything. I understand the need for vengeance; bloody hell, I helped the slayer send Angelus to hell for stealing my girl. I'm the last person to judge you. 'Sides, I know how persuasive Xander can be when he wants something."
Connor blushed as he remembered the way Xander had kissed him, how he had touched him and taken him into his mouth. He looked up at the blonde man in front of him and his mind supplied him with images of Xander and Spike together, doing all those things that Xander had done with him just last night. It made him both sad and aroused at the same time. Aroused because the images were very nice; Spike was a sexy man after all, and sad because he knew that while they had each other - he had no one. "I should be going. I shouldn't be here when Xander comes back."
As Connor stood to leave, Spike stepped in front of him. "No. Xander needs to see you, to apologize to you. Otherwise the guilt'll eat him alive. You sit and stay, he'll be back soon enough."
Connor was tempted to try and make a break for it, but it had already been proven to him once tonight that the vampire was faster than he was, and he did want to see Xander, even if it was only to say goodbye. "All right."
~!~
Part 7
Spike watched as the young man across from him seemed to draw in upon himself. It was that same kicked-puppy look his Xander had worn time and again. Every time one of those soddin' Scoobies laughed at his ideas, or didn't notice when he was hurtin?. Like he wanted to just fade into the background, 'cause if he wasn't there he wouldn't be hurt.
It also reminded him a lot of himself. Before being turned, he had been terribly shy and it made him a target for bullies. His only crime was being hopelessly in love with being in love. He never hurt anyone, but he had always been hurt. The only one who had never hurt him had been his mother - and look how he had repaid her after his turning.
The demon, being founded on William's personality, was also love's bitch. He strove for his sires? approval - both of them. With Dru, he was attentive and loving. He gave her everything her blackened little heart desired - it was enough for his princess. Angelus was harder to win over. To win his approval, Spike had become vicious and bloodthirsty, reveling in the power of his new life. He made up for every insult that had ever been thrown at William, making his tormentors beg for their lives before ending them painfully.
He loved Drusilla; she was his dark goddess. But Angelus - Angelus was his God. How he loved and hated that man. He would have done anything, had done everything to please him. He crawled for him. It was never enough. Never enough to garner his love. He hadn't realized that Angelus was incapable of that emotion. Most vampires were. He had always been different.
The kid was a looker, too. Pale skin, blue eyes, thin and strong. If it weren't for Xander, or the soul, this was exactly the type he would have picked up for a little fun. 'Course he'd have eaten him afterwards, or turned him. Still, he could understand Xander's attraction to him. He was one of them, an outcast, a loser, a man with no family to call his own. That and they had a common bond. They all hated Angel.
~!~
Xander drove like the hounds of hell were after him. He was desperate to get home, to see Spike, to make sure Deadboy wasn't waiting to rip him limb from limb. He was still pissed that he hadn't been able to find Connor, but he wasn't going to stay away from Spike any longer than necessary; he was stunned that Spike had let him leave in the first place. He had expected growly shows of possessiveness, an argument, and possibly some kind of sex before being allowed to leave, and even then he had expected the vampire to insist on coming with him.
It was all still strange to him, that he was in love with Spike, that Spike was in love with him, that only two days ago they had finally consummated their relationship by making love. Of course, he had left as soon as Spike had fallen asleep, had driven to L.A. with the intention of staking Angel out to meet the sunrise.
Common sense and a lot of whiskey had changed his mind. He knew there was no way in hell he could ever hope to beat Angel, even one on one, but Angel had friends, employees, who would stick up for him, fight for him, protect him. Xander had no one. Not even his lover, because Spike had whispered Angel's name as they made love.
He still wondered why he had done that; the fact that Spike didn't recall doing it wasn't enough. What if it happened again? Was there still some long-repressed love for Angel in his lover’s heart? Could he cope with that if there were? The simple fact was, Xander was scared. He was scared of not being good enough, not being enough. He had never been "the one" in the past; he'd come close, but never close enough. With Cordy, he thought maybe he was it, then he screwed the whole thing up by kissing Willow. With Anya, he knew he wasn't the one, he was just the only one. That was why he left her; sooner or later she'd wonder what she was missing out on, only having been with him since being made human. The fact that she had slept with Spike, and then tried to get a repeat performance after he was souled was proof of that.
He wanted to be the one for Spike. He was pretty sure Spike was it for him. He honestly loved him, enough that even though his heart was torn in two, he went back to him to forgive him for what Spike had said, to beg forgiveness for what he'd done. Oh how he wished he could take that day back, do it over again.
Xander closed his eyes briefly and saw Connor's face. He saw the widening of blue eyes filled with wonder, the tiny smile after the first time they had kissed. No, he wouldn't take that back, he wanted to keep that memory. If he were totally honest with himself, he felt sorry for Connor. Being raised the way he was, having a vampire - Deadboy - for a father, and losing the only girl he loved to his dad. It sucked.
Connor reminded him of himself; he was so sure that he was going to be hurt, he just accepted it as a part of his life. Before Spike, Xander had been the same way, hell he was still that way, although he was getting better. At least he had been before the "Angel" incident. Now all his fears and insecurities were bubbling to the surface again. He wished he knew for sure that Spike didn't want anyone else, that he only wanted Xander. It was a bit hypocritical of him to want that though, considering that for all his good intentions, a part of him still wanted Connor.
The "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign loomed up ahead and Xander pulled the car over to the side of the road and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got home. He hadn't resolved anything. He still was unsure about where he stood with Spike; he hadn't been able to find Connor to apologize, and he felt like shit for wanting the boy. He knew he loved Spike, there was no doubt in his mind at all, but if that were the case why was he still thinking about the look on the boy’s face when he fell out of bed that morning? Why did he want to find him, to explain things, to make it better?
Spike said it was because he was a decent man; he doubted that. A decent man wouldn't have run off on his lover to go find someone he had been unfaithful with only hours before. A decent man would not be wondering how it would feel to have them both in his bed. Two pale bodies both so similar yet different. Two sets of blue eyes staring up at him with lust and excitement. A decent man wouldn't be wondering how it would feel to have one of them inside him while he was inside the other. No, a decent man would be home, making things up to the man he loved. Xander was not a decent man. He was a Harris. Like father, like son.
~!~
Connor looked around the living room of Xander and Spike's apartment. It felt odd to be in the man's home, sitting and having refreshments and conversation with his demon lover. He knew that his presence had to be bothering the other man; he was sure that if the tables were turned he wouldn't have been this civil.
"Are all vampires capable of love?" This was a question Connor had wanted to know for some time.
"No. Some, but not all. You asking about Angel or Angelus? 'Cause Angelus wouldn't know love if it fell out of the sky, landed on his face and wiggled. Angel though, he can love; loved the slayer, anyway. Why do you want to know?"
"Actually, I was wondering about my mother. My father told me she loved me, that she gave her life to save me. But from the things I've overheard, she was worse than Angelus when it came to cruelty, that she had taught him to be the way he is."
"Darla eh? Well that's a bit of a pickle, innit? The Darla I knew was a right bitch, she didn't love anyone but herself. She was obsessed with Angelus though, that's the closest thing to a positive emotion I ever saw from her. But women are bloody strange creatures, s'why I decided to give up on the lot of ?em and settle down with a bloke. Pregnant women are a mystery; seems to me that even animals love their offspring, so I don't doubt that she loved you. Otherwise she would be here and you wouldn't."
Connor thought about that for a minute. This was the first time someone had talked about his mother without painting the truth with flowery images. Spike was honest about the way he saw Darla, that she was a selfish, unloving demon, but she had obviously cared about him enough to die for him. "If she hadn't had to die for me to live, what do you think would have happened to me?"
Spike raised his eyebrow and really looked at the kid, He debated on lying to him, making up a nice little story for him, then he decided to tell him the truth; no point in lying now. "Truth?" At Connor's nod, he continued, "She'd have eaten you."
Connor nodded his head. "I thought so. Thank you for being honest, everyone tends to sugar coat things. They don't understand that it's unnecessary. I grew up in Quortoth; I don't need to be coddled. I've survived things they couldn't imagine."
Spike watched as the boy’s eyes glassed over. He shuddered to think of the things he had been through; a human, even one with enhanced strength being raised in a hell dimension? It was unheard of. "Tell me about it?"
~!~
Part 8
Xander opened his door and stepped inside his apartment. He tossed his keys onto the small table by the door and toed off his shoes before calling out to Spike. "I'm back. I couldn't find Connor; I looked everywhere I could think of." He continued into the living room and saw Spike and Connor sitting across from one another, both smiling at him. "Except here, of course. 'Cause that would have been way too easy."
Xander looked from Spike to Connor and then back again. "Um, help me out here guys, 'cause I think I walked in halfway through the second act." Never in a million years would he have pictured coming home to this. Oh yeah, he could see coming home to the walls painted in blood, Connor in pieces at his feet, or perhaps a big pile dust in the middle of the floor and a badly wounded Connor standing over it. But the two of them together, sitting in the same room with no sign of violence or bloodshed? Nope. Never would have pictured it.
"I came to see you. I remembered you said you lived here, in Sunnydale. I hitched a ride on a truck." Connor felt foolish and inadequate all of a sudden. What had he expected when he came here? That Xander would fall at his feet, professing undying love for him? Hardly. The more he thought about it, the crazier this whole thing seemed. "I just wanted to tell you that I don't hold you responsible. I wanted to do everything we did last night. You didn't force me or trick me. I'm sorry, I'll go now."
Connor stood and headed for the door. Xander shot a panic-stricken look at his lover and was relieved when Spike nodded and left the room to give them a few minutes. "Wait," Xander stopped Connor before he could leave. "I want to talk; I have things I need to say, things I need for you to hear." Connor nodded and followed Xander back to the living room. He sat in the chair once again and waited as Xander composed himself.
"First of all, I'm sorry." At Connor's crestfallen look, Xander hurried to continue. "Not because we spent the night together, but because of how it happened. I don't drink. Usually. I was in a bad place; I was hurting and angry. I was thinking about hurting Angel, about taking someone from him for a change, about getting even. That shouldn't have happened."
Xander began to pace the room. He was well aware that Spike could hear every word he said and tried not to say anything that would upset him. "I love Spike. There was a... thing. I took off; I was hurt and I was drunk and you were so... pretty. I wanted you. I wanted to hurt your father, yes, but I did want you. If things were different, if I wasn't already involved... " Xander trailed off with a helpless shrug of his shoulders.
Connor nodded his head and closed his eyes. He should have expected this - had actually expected this from the moment Spike had told him that Xander knew he was a demon, and that he loved him anyway - but it still hurt. He wondered if he would ever find someone who would choose him first. "I understand. It was stupid of me to come here."
"Where are you going to go?"
"I don't know. I guess I didn't plan this very well. I'll just hitch a ride back to L.A., I guess." Connor bowed his head and with shoulders sagged in defeat, he headed for the door. Once again, Xander stopped him.
"No. You can't do that. It's dangerous out there; Sunnydale isn't the kind of place to walk around in after dark." Xander held up a hand to forestall the argument he could see coming. "I know you kill demons all the time, but it's not the same here in Sunnydale. Just... give me a few minutes to talk to Spike, okay? Will you sit down and wait?"
Connor nodded and resumed his place on the chair. He wondered why he was still here, why he hadn't simply left instead of staying when the vampire had asked. Other than the fact that he had nowhere else to be, he was curious. He wanted to know more about Spike; the demon had been curiously good company. He had listened to his stories about growing up with Holtz, had been sympathetic and understanding about what had happened with Angel and his child. Xander was lucky to have him.
~!~
Spike raised his eyebrow and looked quizzically at Xander when he entered their bedroom. Xander smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders at his lover. "I can't just let him leave, Spike. Sunnydale is dangerous." Xander turned pleading eyes on the vampire, begging him to understand. Spike smiled softly at him.
"Always the white knight aren't ya, pet? Come here." Spike pulled Xander down to sit next to him on the bed and wrapped his arms around the larger man. "I do understand, Xander. I've spent the last hour or so talking to him; he's a good kid - young man," Spike corrected after Xander shot him a look. "He's had a tough life, a lot of bad breaks. I feel for him."
"So, you're not angry?" Xander was honestly confused. And truth be told, a little disappointed. He had expected a violent display of vampire possessiveness, and as much as he was happy that Connor hadn't been harmed, he was somewhat hurt thinking that Spike didn't find him worth getting pissy about. It was stupid, but he couldn't help it; the old Xander Harris insecurity was rearing its ugly head.
"?Course not. Was earlier though; opened the door to catch the scent of the guy you'd been unfaithful to me with? Lucky thing for you I've got a soul or you'd never get your security deposit back. As it was, I trapped him against the door and had to restrain myself from at least hurting him." Spike smiled softly at the glimmer of happiness he saw on Xander's face. "What? You thought I didn't care? Silly sod. If I didn't care, I'd have killed him."
"So, what happened?"
"We talked. About you, about Angelus, about William. He didn't understand why I was so different from the poof, so I explained things to 'im a bit. Then he told me about the two of you." Xander watched - somewhat fascinated - as Spike's eyes glazed over. "Christ, pet. Connor never stood a chance, did he? He told me how you seduced him, how you kissed him and touched him. The things you did... with that mouth you could seduce the very devil himself, you know."
Xander was actually getting turned on listening to Spike talk about the things he had done to and with Connor. He realized with dawning horror that Spike would smell it, that he would know that he was aroused by this. Spike smiled and took Xander's hand and guided it to the bulge in the front of his jeans. "S'okay, love. I'm right there with you."
"What are we gonna do, Spike? This is wrong, I love you."
"And I love you. Doesn't mean we don't find other people attractive. I can see why you'd pick him; he's a pretty little thing." Spike leered at Xander and then got serious again. "But, it doesn't happen again. You don't fuck anyone but me." Xander nodded and then Spike added as an afterthought, "Well, not unless I'm there too, and I agree to it."
Xander looked up at Spike in shock. He hadn't expected that. The idea of fucking someone else while Spike watched - maybe joined in - was not helping his hard-on go away, but he was bothered by it, too. "Spike? How can that be okay? I mean, if we love each other, how could we... be with someone else?"
"Doesn't have to be that way. I loved Dru, and she always came first with me, but we had other lovers - shared lovers - from time to time. Didn't mean I loved her any less. 'Course, there was Angelus, too. I loved both of them, was never happier than when I was sandwiched between them. It is possible to love more than one person at a time, pet."
Xander absorbed the information and then turned startled eyes on his lover. "You like him!" At Spike's curious expression Xander continued. "Connor. You like him. You... find him attractive, don't you?"
Spike sighed. "Yeah, pet. I do. Not just in a physical sense though. He reminds me of you, of me, he's... " Spike trailed off looking for the right word.
"A loser, an outcast. One of us."
"Yeah. I feel for him, he's had a rough life. Raised in a hell dimension by a man who ... well let's just say his idea of love is very twisted. No wonder the kid’s a mess; you don't raise children like that. It's just wrong." Spike's eyes flashed yellow and Xander swallowed. Obviously Connor had told Spike a lot more about himself than Xander knew about him. "Come on, let's go back out there and convince the kid to stay."
"Okay, but could you stop calling him a kid? He's nineteen. That's only three years younger than me." Xander tried to look indignant.
Spike snorted. "Xan, love, compared to me, Rupert is a kid. I'm over a hundred."
"Oh. Yeah." Xander grinned, "Cradle robber!"
"Could call you the same, love."
"Peroxide abuser."
"Necrophiliac."
"Billy Idol wanna-be."
"Watch it love, you're not too old to go over my knee."
~!~
Part 9
Connor lay awake in the spare room wondering how he had come to this. His life had been so complicated since entering this dimension. Finding Angel, starting to care for him; Losing Holtz, hating Angel again, dumping him in the ocean; losing Fred and Gunn's friendship, loving Cordelia, having a child, losing Cordelia, finding her again only to lose her to his father, watching as his child was killed... and now this.
Meeting Xander had taken his life down another path. A path that led away from L.A. and everything he had known since coming through the portal. A path that led him to where he was now, lying in bed in Xander's spare room in the dark. He'd much rather be in Xander's bed, in his arms, being touched and loved. He groaned in frustration. Now he was hard as well as awake.
He should have said no; he should have gone back to L.A. Instead, he had agreed to stay, at least tonight. So now, he was awake, horny and depressed. Across the hall he knew that Spike lay in Xander's arms, comfortable and loved. He wondered what they were doing right now; were they talking? Softly the way lovers always did in the movies he'd seen on TV late at night? Or were they touching each other, sliding their hands over the hard muscles of each other's bodies? Did Xander kiss Spike the way he had kissed him? Did he slip down on the bed and take him into his mouth? Did Spike arch his back and cry out the way he had done?
Or were the tables reversed? Perhaps it was Xander who was the passive one, the one being kissed and touched. Was Spike as gentle with Xander as Xander had been with him? Or was he rough? Did he nip at his skin, and fondle him with hard hands, hands that had been used to tear flesh and break bone? Did Xander enjoy the rough treatment? Would he enjoy it?
Connor sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. He pulled his clothes on and went out to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. After staring at the contents for a few minutes, he grabbed a glass of lemonade, sipped it and then winced at the sweetness before heading to the living room to watch TV. He wasn't tired, being used to staying up nights and sleeping days.
Several minutes into mindless channel surfing, Connor was startled as Spike took a seat on the sofa beside him. He hadn't heard the vampire come in, and that disturbed him. He was usually more alert than this. "Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd watch some TV; I didn't wake you did I?"
Spike smiled softly at him. "Nah, creature of the night here, not much for sleeping when it's dark still." Spike looked at the TV and nodded in appreciation. "Good flick, this one is. Lots of blood and violence."
Connor nodded. He had been fascinated by the sheer amount of explosions he had seen so far. "Does my being here bother you? I mean, I know Xander wanted me to stay, and you said it was fine, but is it really? I don't think I'd be so generous in your place."
"It is; we both wanted you to stay. The streets around here aren't safe at night, and hitchers in this town tend to end up as 'to go' meals for some demon or another. ?Sides, truth is, I like you. Don't like that Xander left me here sleeping and took off to L.A. and shagged you, but that's hardly your fault, is it? S'mine, really."
"What happened? He mentioned that you had..."
"Whispered Angel's name? Yeah. Don't remember doing it though. Wish I hadn't done it, hadn't hurt him." Spike looked more like a man at that moment than Connor had ever thought he could.
"Did you and Angel have a... relationship?"
"Something like that. A very long time ago, when we were both different people. Why'd you ask?"
"Just wondered. Was there ever anyone else? Another man, I mean."
"No. No one until Xander. It was our first time, and I ruined it." Spike looked so depressed that Connor wanted to comfort him. He just didn't know how. Comfort was an alien concept to him. No one had ever comforted him, but he was pretty sure that hugs were the first step. Tentatively he put his arm over Spike's shoulder and rubbed his hand along the man's arm. "Xander is a good man; I'm sure he's forgiven you already. Perhaps it was just because it was the first time in so long, that the name slipped out."
Spike nodded his head but remained silent. He felt strange, having this boy he hardly knew offer him comfort. The only person who had ever offered him comfort had been Xander. And now, Connor.
Maybe that would explain why he leaned over and kissed him. Why he had pressed his lips to the other man’s, softly, sweetly, and then allowed his tongue the briefest of contact with Connor’s lower lip before pulling away. "Thank you."
Then Spike stood and walked away. He stopped at the edge of the hallway and looked back at the stunned young man on the couch. He smiled as he saw the tip of a pink tongue slip out and lick at his bottom lip before smiling. "I'll see you the morning. G'night."
"Good night," Connor answered absently as he brushed his fingers against his mouth. His life had just gotten more complicated.
~!~
When Spike returned to the bedroom, he crawled back into bed and pulled Xander into his arms. The man stirred and opened his eyes. "Hey. Where'd you go?"
"Couldn't sleep; heard our guest in the living room, thought I'd keep him company."
Xander was mostly asleep but he woke up at the tone of Spike's voice. Something was wrong with his lover, and he needed to know what it was. "What happened?"
Spike pulled Xander closer to him and kissed him before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "We talked some, about whether I was bothered by him being here, about you and me, about why I said... his name." It was quiet for a few minutes while Spike worked up the nerve to admit to what had happened. It was one thing to tell Xander that he was attracted to Connor, it was another thing completely to kiss the boy while Xander was sleeping a room away.
"He, he was kind. Tried to comfort me, give me explanations for what I'd done. Told me you had probably forgiven me already." Xander cut in quickly, "I did." Spike sighed, "I know. Xander, I kissed him."
Xander felt Spike stiffen beside him and he drew back in question. "Why?"
"Felt... right at the time. Dunno."
"Hmm." Xander thought about the implications of what was happening. He had Spike; he loved the vampire without question. He liked Connor, could see something happening with them; apparently Spike felt the same way. He wondered if Connor was open to the idea. "Did you like it?"
"Yeah."
"Did he?"
"Think so."
"So, now what?"
"Dunno, love. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to. I won't do it again."
"What if I want you to?" Xander could feel Spike's surprise and chuckled weakly. "I'm sorry. It's the idea of you, and him, It's... well I kinda like it."
"Yeah, me too. Doesn't mean I love you any less."
"I know. How about you show me?"
"Oh, I think I can do that."
~!~
Part 10
Spike kissed Xander, soft kisses that spoke volumes about his love for him. He felt Xander's hands come up, fingers digging into his scalp as he threaded them through his hair, bringing their mouths together more forcefully. Spike went willingly, more than happy to give Xander everything he desired.
He was still worried though; some small part of him was afraid that he'd do or say something to screw this up. Again. Xander seemed to sense this and shook his head slightly. "Don't, Spike; don’t think. Just make love to me. Please?"
Spike's eyes widened in lust, imagining what it would feel like to be inside Xander, to feel his blood-warmed flesh pulsing around him. He nodded his assent, unable to form coherent words. He rolled off Xander, feeling instantly cold and alone as he rummaged through their nightstand for lubricant. He wanted to make sure it was good for Xander; he knew that this was the first time he would ever have a man's penis inside him. Oh, they had messed around before, and Xander seemed to enjoy having Spike's fingers inside him, massaging his prostate as he swallowed his cock; but this was different.
With the lube in hand, Spike returned to his lover’s side and kissed him again. He was desperate to do this, to feel his lover from the inside, to finally mark him as his own; but he was so worked up just thinking about it he was afraid he would cum as soon as he entered him.
Xander moaned into the kiss and rolled onto his back, bring Spike with him so that the vampire blanketed his overheated body. He wrapped his arms around him tightly and spread his legs wide, allowing Spike's hips to settle between them. Twin columns of flesh ground together making both men gasp in delight and begin rocking their hips into one another.
Spike deftly flipped open the bottle of lubricant and lifted himself into a kneeling position. He poured a small amount on top of his fingers and gently traced one over and around Xander's pucker. He greedily watched his lover’s face for every reaction his touch brought forth. Finally, when Xander was pushing against him in a completely wanton manner, he pushed the finger inside.
Xander sighed in pleasure as he felt the slight burn of being breached. He loved the way Spike's hands felt on his body, how his fingers felt inside of him. He couldn't wait to know how it would feel when his lover finally took him. "Spike, please, oh God please more; I need more, please, in me, inmeinmeinmeinme."
"Shhhh, luv. Relax, I'll take care of you." Spike leaned over Xander's body and kissed him even as he slid a second finger into his tight channel and began scissoring his fingers apart. He added a third and twisted his fingers until he found Xander's sweet spot. He held on for the ride as Xander bucked wildly beneath him and moaned into his mouth.
~!~
In the other room, Connor heard the sounds of their lovemaking and hung his head. He could well remember the way Xander's hands had felt on his skin, how soft his lips had felt against his, and how he had made him scream in ecstasy as he took him like a beast. He felt his eyes fill with unwanted tears and he dashed them away. He had no right to weep. Xander and Spike were in love; they belonged to each other in a way he had never belonged to anyone. With that thought in mind, Connor retired to his room. Tomorrow he would leave Sunnydale. He didn't know where he would go, but it had to be better than going back to L.A. and seeing Cordelia and his father together, or staying here and watching Xander and Spike.
~!~
Xander canted his hips and spread his legs wide. He wanted Spike inside of him, and he wanted him there now. Spike moaned at the obvious yet wordless request. He wanted nothing more than to sink into this man and feel his muscles clenching around him. He wanted to look into his eyes and watch as he filled him. See them roll back into his head as he pounded into him over and over. But first times were easier from behind.
"Xan, love, I'm going to roll you over now; it'll be easier on you." Xander shook his head from side to side. He wanted to be face-to-face, to see Spike as he was taken for the first time. He wanted Spike to see him, to know it was him. Only him. "No. Need to see you. Please, Spike, make love to me."
Spike bit his tongue to keep from crying. He knew there was more to the request than Xander needing to see him. Xander wanted to be seen. To be recognized, to make sure Spike knew who he was making love to. He wondered if he would ever be able to make up to the man what he had done. "Okay, love. If that's what's you want."
"It is. I love you."
"I love you too, Xan."
Spike kissed Xander sweetly and pulled his legs up and over his shoulders. "Deep breath, love; let it out slowly and push down against me, okay?" Xander nodded and did as his lover instructed. His eyes widened in surprise at the feeling of having Spike's cock driven into him. It was beyond anything he had ever imagined; he felt so close to the vampire at that moment, as though they were one being. Spike stilled once he was fully encased, and Xander panted and wriggled around until the slight discomfort he felt diminished. Then Spike began to move and his whole world shattered around him.
Spike fought back the emergence of his true face as he made love to his Xander, his boy. He wanted to make this last, to make it so good for Xander he'd never want to be away from him, never even think of replacing him. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen. Not this time, not when he was so overcome by the feel of Xander's hot, tight channel fluttering around him, his breathy moans of pleasure echoing in his ears, his fingernails raking grooves into his back.
Xander saw how Spike struggled to remain in his human face, how he had bitten into his lip and drawn blood in his efforts. He loved him for trying to spare him, but he knew who and what was in his bed, in his body; he reached out a shaky hand and caressed his lover’s face. "Let it go, Spike. Let me see you."
Spike's demon face came to the surface accompanied by a roar of satisfaction. He kissed Xander, careful of his fangs, and then sped up the pace. He shifted his weight onto one arm and used his free hand to stroke Xander as he made sure to stimulate the man’s prostate on almost every thrust.
Xander cried out as his body reacted to the double assault. He whimpered and moaned as he was driven to the very edge and held there. "Spike, please!" Xander cried out, not knowing what it was he needed, just knowing he needed something... more to push him over the edge into oblivion.
Spike struck without thinking, sinking his fangs deeply into the tanned skin of Xander’s shoulder. He swallowed the sweet hot blood that filled his mouth, feeling Xander tense as he screamed and spilled beneath him. He savoured the taste of the rich orgasm-laced blood and continued to lick at the seeping punctures as he shuddered through his own climax.
Spike carefully withdrew his softened member from Xander's body and rolled off to the side of him. He looked carefully at the wound he had put on the man's shoulder and instantly felt regret. "I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean to; I never want to hurt you."
Xander rolled onto his side and laughed softly at the repentant vampire lying next to him. "Spike, I liked it. Hell, I really liked it. Couldn't you tell from the screaming and the cumming?" He watched as the realization dawned on his lover and Spike sighed in relief. Xander gathered the man in his arms and kissed him softly. "Thank you. That was... I don't have the words. You made me feel so wonderful. I love you so much."
Spike snuggled deeper into Xander's embrace and sighed in contentment. Xander gently pushed him away and sat up. "We need to clean up a bit, and then I think we need to talk." Spike sat up as well and looked at Xander in confusion.
"About what, love?"
"About Connor, and what we're going to do about our mutual attraction for him."
Spike shrugged his shoulders and stood. He stretched lazily, knowing that Xander's eyes were watching him with renewed appreciation. "Pretty simple solution, Xander. We seduce the boy and keep him here. You want him, I want him; it's obvious he wants you, and if that kiss meant anything at all, he fancies me at least a little. I can work with that."
Xander smiled and shook his head fondly at his lover. "You know this doesn't change how I feel about you, right?" Spike smiled and nodded his head. "Good. Come on; let’s get cleaned up and get some sleep. We'll need it if we're going to be convincing."
~!~
Part 11
Connor awoke early the next morning to find both Xander and Spike in his room standing at the end of the bed. He blinked in confusion and rubbed at his eyes wondering if he was hallucinating. He hadn't expected to wake up from a dream about the two men in front of him to actually see them standing above him looking at him. It was very disconcerting.
"Uh..."
"Sorry if we woke you." Xander sat gently on the end of the bed and placed his hand lightly on the blanket where it covered the young man's ankle. "I... we wanted to talk to you, before you took off or anything."
Connor lowered his eyes at the uneasy feelings that coursed through him. He knew that Xander had figured out he would run away again. It was, after all, what he was used to. "I... Sorry."
"Don't be. We all do it; hell, running away from your problems is nothing to be ashamed of." This time it was Spike who stepped in to soothe him. He sat next to him on the bed and ran his fingers very lightly up Connor’s arm. "I used to run all the time; ran all the way to Africa one time," Spike chuckled weakly. "And all I got to show for it was this bleedin' soul."
Xander smiled at Spike and then turned his attention to Connor. "Spike told me about what happened last night, how you tried to ease his pain and offered him comfort. You were right - I have forgiven him. But have you forgiven me?"
Connor sat up and pulled the blankets tighter around himself; as he did so, he looked at Xander and really thought about what he felt for him. He was still confused over the fact that he wanted him, that he was a man, and that that didn't bother him. He remembered how good Xander had made him feel, how after all the pain he had recently been put through, this man had made him forget it, even if only for a little while. He couldn't be angry with him for that. He was saddened by the fact that Xander had Spike and didn't need him or want him in the same way Connor wanted Xander, but he didn't hold it against him.
"There is nothing to forgive you for. You gave me peace. For one night I slept without seeing my father murder my son; for one night I was held in a strong, safe embrace and I needed that. My life has been nothing but pain as long as I can remember. Cordelia - or who I thought was Cordelia - showed me pleasure, but in the end she caused me more pain than I had ever thought I could feel. You, Xander, you gave me more than that. You gave me comfort. I don't hate you. I don't resent you. I don't feel the need to forgive you, for in my mind you have done nothing wrong."
Xander sighed and visibly relaxed. "Okay, that's good ?cause I, well we, want to talk to you. About what's going on among the three of us." Connor looked between Xander and Spike and tensed briefly before Spike began rubbing his arm again in a soothing manner. "Nothing to worry about; we just want to talk."
Connor nodded and Spike turned his face so he could see him. "I'll admit, when Xander came home smelling like you, I was angry; I wanted to tear him to pieces - you too, truth be told. I was hurt that I had woken up alone, that he had left me without telling me why. I thought he was playing games with me; we have a bit of a rough past, he and I." Xander snorted and Spike smirked. "Well, all right, that was putting it mildly; we hated each other with a passion. I was involved in a very unhealthy relationship with his friend, I shagged his ex-fiancée after their almost-wedding and I had tried to kill him on several occasions in the past."
"Yep, and I wasn't much better. I blamed Spike for everything that went wrong in my life. I thought that maybe if it wasn't for Spike, Buffy would have turned to me for comfort instead of him - never mind that I was involved with Anya at the time. I blamed his sleeping with Anya for why we didn't get back together - even though it was me who left her standing at the altar in her wedding gown. I tried to kill him, or at least helped Buffy try to kill him a few times in the past, as well. We had... issues."
Connor didn't seem phased by any of this. "I understand. My father, Angel, has tried on many occasions to kill both Cordelia and Wesley, and they still forgave him. Cordelia is in love with him, and I'm pretty sure Wesley was at one point, as well. What does this have to do with me?"
Spike thought about what he was trying to say; at some point he had lost the point he was trying to make. "Oh, right. Anyway, as I was saying, I was angry about you and Xander. Then, after Xan told me why, what I had done to drive him away in the first place, I wasn't so much angry with him as I was with myself. I was still mad as hell at you though, and I didn't even know you. Irrational vampire behavior for you. Then you showed up here, and after we talked, I understood."
Spike looked over at Xander and smiled softly. "I understood what made Xander choose you, what it was about you that attracted him because I found myself attracted to you, as well. I kissed you last night because I wanted to. Because you were kind to me, because you've had a rough life and I understand that; because you looked like you needed it, and because you have such a pretty mouth. I couldn't help myself." Spike chuckled as Connor blushed and dropped his gaze to his hands, which were twined tightly together in his lap.
"What Spike is saying is that we like you. We both find ourselves wanting you and wanting to see if this could work with the three of us. That is, if you feel the same way. If you don't want us, we won't push. It's just, you feel like one of us, alone, hurting, scared and confused. We've been there, still are there in some ways. We'd like to help you."
Connor raised his eyes and looked at Xander. He saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes and smiled slightly at him before looking at Spike. The vampire was harder to read, but he looked as sincere as the human. Connor cocked his head and thought about it. He had wanted Xander to touch him again; he honestly liked the man and the more time he spent with him the more he wanted to be a part of his life. Spike was a mystery to him; he was a demon, a vampire, but he felt things more acutely than most of the humans Connor had met. He was attracted to him on a physical level but, as with Xander, it was more than just that. Spike hadn't talked down to him or treated him like a child. He had been honest - brutally honest - with him when he had asked about his mother. He knew on some instinctual level that he wouldn't lie to him or sugar coat the truth. But he didn't know what exactly was being offered here. Was it simply sex that they wanted from him, or was it more than that?
"What exactly are you asking from me?"
"Nothing. Everything. Whatever you are willing to give us. We want you, not as a plaything, not as a fuck-toy, but as an equal. A partner; someone to share our bed, our bodies and our lives."
The serious look on the vampire’s face as he said this made Connor smile. Perhaps he just might have a place here in Sunnydale. "I need time to think about this. I'm not saying no. I do like you, both of you, but this is all very new to me. I, ah, I've only..." Connor trailed off with a deep blush and then took a few calming breaths before continuing. "I've only been intimate three times, and two of those times it was with a woman. I'm not sure I understand the mechanics of three people together."
Spike leered playfully at him and leaned in and whispered seductively in his ear. "It's simple, luv, we put you between us and then we make you scream with pleasure." He lightly nipped Connor's ear and smiled as he smelled the young man's arousal increase. "You've felt what Xander can do to you, how his lips felt on your skin, how his hands felt as they teased you and stretched you open. Now imagine having both of us touching you, kissing you, tasting you."
Xander could hear the words Spike whispered to Connor and felt himself grow painfully hard. He watched Connor's eyes close and his lips part as his breath hitched in anticipation. He slid up the bed until he was sitting next to Connor on the opposite side. He tentatively reached out and touched his arm, smiling when Connor didn't pull away from the touch.
Spike didn't want to push, but the way Connor was reacting to his words was making him crazy. The fact that he knew that Xander had been inside him, had kissed him and sucked him and marked him as his own in a way, was driving him insane. He licked a trail down the side of Connor's neck and then sucked at the skin between his neck and shoulder until he was sure he had left a mark. He knew that Connor was hard; he could smell his desperation for release in the air. He also knew that Xander was just as bad off. "What do you say, pet? Want us to make you scream?"
Connor groaned at the images in his mind of having both of these men touching him. He wanted it; he wanted it badly. "Yeeessss!" He hissed as the two of them drew back simultaneously and got off of the bed.
~!~
Part 12
Xander and Spike stood on either side of the bed and stripped off their clothes. They exchanged a look, smiled and then turned to Connor who was still panting and wide-eyed with lust. The two naked men ascended on their target and gently but hastily pulled him into a reclining position. Once they had the younger man flat on his back - exactly where they wanted him - they began.
Spike moved up beside Connor and leaned over him, claiming his mouth with his own. The kiss was nothing like the soft, almost chaste meeting of lips from the night before. This one was thorough; the vampire mapping the young human’s mouth with his tongue. The assault was only broken sporadically to allow the man to breathe. Spike busied himself during these periods by licking the expanse of Connor's throat.
Xander watched with open lust as Spike and Connor kissed. It was even hotter than he had imagined. He would have been content to simply sit back and watch; Spike was beautiful when he was naked, and getting to watch him as he seduced the young man in their guest bed was incredible. But, Connor had agreed that he wanted them both - wanted to be pleasured by them both - so he stopped watching and became a full participant.
As Xander's lips fastened on his nipple, Connor's eyes flew open and he moaned in pleasure. He could hardly believe what was happening to him, that these two men - these beautiful men - were doing these wonderful things to him. That they wanted him, wanted to share their lives with him, was beyond anything he had hoped for. He had dreamt of belonging somewhere, and now... he might finally see his dream come true.
Spike joined Xander in tormenting Connor's nipples; he sucked and nibbled on the one while Xander did the other. Connor thrashed his head from side to side and babbled incoherently as his body tried to decipher the differences between the hot mouth on his left nipple and the cold one on his right. He gave up trying and just let himself feel everything they were doing to him.
Warm and cold mouths traveled down his chest and stomach; they left his skin briefly to meet up with each other in a passion-laced kiss before the hot mouth fastened over his cock head and the cooler one began mouthing his shaft. It was beyond any sensation he had ever felt, and he couldn't stop his hips from bucking under the assault. He felt Spike chuckle against him as cool hands pinned his hips to the mattress and the wet heat of Xander's mouth descended on him again.
Connor lifted his head and looked down at the two men who were bringing him such pleasure. Xander's eyes were closed, a blissful expression on his face. Spike's eyes were open and looking directly at Connor. He winked at the boy as their eyes locked before sucking his testicles into his mouth and laving them with his tongue. Connor screamed as he felt his climax tear through him.
"Easy, luv." Spike stroked the boy softly and waited for his breathing to slow back down to normal. He waited until Connor's eyes opened and then he leaned in and kissed him again. Softly, this time; comfortingly. "You okay?"
Connor nodded, then a dopey grin adorned his face and Spike smiled. "You look just like Xan when you do that. You both have beautiful smiles."
"Thank you." Connor blushed slightly as he remembered that he had just been pleasured by these men and they had not yet found release themselves. "Um... What about you two?"
Xander laughed softly and Spike leered at Connor. "That was just the warm up, luv. You ready to play now?"
Connor looked between the two men who were offering him his heart’s desire and smiled. "Yeah, okay. But you have to teach me what to do; as I said before this is all new to me."
Xander smiled and kissed him. "We will, but for right now, just let us make you feel good. Okay?" Connor agreed and Spike arranged them so that Xander and Connor were lying on their sides face to face. He scooted in behind Connor and began kissing his neck, shoulders and back. Xander bent Connor's leg at the knee and brought it up to rest on his thigh, leaving him open to Spike's exploration. Connor hesitantly reached out and ran his finger lightly over Xander's bottom lip; Xander sucked it into his mouth and then smiled.
"It's okay to touch me; I want you to touch me." Xander couldn't help but grin at the look of wonderment on Connor's face as he slid his hands over Xander's muscled chest and pinched his nipples lightly. He groaned at the contact and then kissed Connor as he returned the caress.
Spike had retrieved the lube from his pants right after positioning Xander and Connor on the bed. He flipped open the cap and squeezed some onto his fingers. He watched with interest as the two humans kissed and touched each other before sliding one slicked finger into Connor and spreading the slippery gel around. He found the boy’s prostate and stroked it gently. He grinned as he felt the muscles clamp tightly around his finger as Connor yelped into Xander's mouth.
"Like that? Want more?"
"Yes! More, please." Connor remembered this feeling from his time with Xander and was desperate to feel more of it, to feel Spike's cock stretch him and fill him. He wondered if it would feel as good as the first time, or if it would be better, possibly because they were both here. "Spike, please, don't stop."
"Wasn't going to, luv; just relax." Spike added a second finger and began to scissor them apart. He knew Xander was okay with this but he looked over at him for reassurance anyway. He wasn't prepared for the amount of lust that was reflected in his lover's eyes.
"God, Spike. So fucking hot, you look so fucking hot." Xander was so hard it hurt; but watching as Spike made Connor ready was so hot he had almost forgotten his own arousal. He held Connor still as Spike withdrew his fingers and slowly began to push his cock inside him. The look on the vampire’s face as he finally slid home was second only to the look on Connor's. They were beautiful, and Xander couldn't help but say so.
"You're beautiful, both of you. Christ, how'd I get so lucky?" Xander shook his head in wonderment at his own question. Truth was, he really didn't care how he got to this point in his life, only that he was glad to be here. He had two gorgeous, pale-skinned, blue-eyed men in his bed and they both wanted to be here - with him. That was all that mattered.
Connor was beyond words; he had never been called beautiful, not even handsome. He had been called cute once, by a girl he met when he saved her life, but beautiful? Never. He would have thanked Xander if he could have figured out how to speak again. As it was, Spike was beginning to slowly roll his hips; gently nudging that spot inside of him that made him see stars. All he could do was reach out blindly and pull Xander closer to him and kiss him.
Xander returned the kiss enthusiastically. He reached down and grasped both his and Connor's erections in his fist and began pumping them together. He didn't care that this was going to be over too soon, he was far too stimulated to expect it to last. He watched as Spike's face changed and his fangs elongated. He desperately wanted to feel them piercing his flesh again. "Fuck, Spike. Connor. Gonna cum. Oh shit!"
Xander's release seemed to trigger Connor's as well. He groaned and spilled his seed across Xander's hand as Spike sped up his thrusts and then came with a roar into Connor's body. The three then fell still; both Xander and Connor panting harshly as Spike tried to shake off his demon face before Connor saw it.
Once he had reverted back to his human guise, Spike rolled Connor onto his back and loomed over him with a soft smile on his face. "So, you getting the gist of the mechanics now?"
Connor grinned. "Yeah. Um, am I always going to be the one in the middle?" He wasn't complaining but the thought of being the one in control was appealing and he wanted to know how it felt from that end.
"What? And give up the feeling of a hot dick inside me? Not likely. Sometimes it'll be you, sometimes Xan and sometimes me." Spike looked thoughtful before speaking again. "Actually, sometimes I might just watch if that doesn't bother you. You two look amazing together." Spike closed his eyes and pictured the way they would look - Connor on all fours as Xander took him from behind, or perhaps Xander would straddle Connor and ride him hard and fast. - before opening them and turning a knowing look on Xander. "Of course, I'm sure Xander wouldn't mind sitting out a time or two just to watch, either."
Xander blushed at the statement but didn't deny it. He leaned up and kissed Spike, slipping his tongue into the cool recess of the vampire's mouth and groaning as it was immediately sucked on. When Spike released him they both looked down into the flushed and aroused face of their young lover and smiled. It looked like Connor might be interested in watching as well. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking shower, food and cartoons. In that order." Xander climbed out of bed and headed for the door. He turned around and smiled as he saw that he was being followed by two beautiful, naked men. Life was good sometimes.
~!~
Part 13
After their shower - in which more playing than washing had occurred - Xander plied Connor with sugary breakfast cereal and sat him down in front of the TV. He couldn't believe that he had never heard of Cartoon Network. Spike sipped his blood and watched in amusement as Xander explained the finer points of Dragonball Z to the younger man.
After the cartoons were finished, or at least Connor’s education had been broadened sufficiently for one day, Xander switched off the TV. "So, I was thinking."
"Uh oh; that's never a good thing." Spike winked at his lover to take the sting out of the barb and Xander smiled.
"Anyway", Xander turned to Connor and looked at him seriously. "I was thinking that maybe you would like a job. I work at a construction company; hard work but it's good pay. It would keep you in shape, give you something to do during the day and you'd have your own money. What do you think?"
Connor blinked. He hadn't really thought about a job before. He just killed demons, lived where he could, and took what he needed. A job sounded like a good idea. It would help him to learn how to fit in with other people. "What exactly would I be doing?"
"A lot of lifting, at first. I'll show you how to use the tools and stuff and then you'd be put on a crew. Probably carpentry, it's where I started and what I know. So, what do you think?" Xander tried not to let his nervousness show; he didn't want to seem pushy, but he hoped Connor would take him up on the offer. He thought the job might help him to feel more useful; he knew it had helped him when he was younger. Gave him a sense of purpose.
"Yeah, okay. Why not? I've never had a job before." Connor smiled at Xander and then turned to look at Spike who was sprawled out in the armchair. "What do you do all day? I mean, while Xander is at work?"
"Sleep mostly, watch the telly; sometimes I go out." Spike did get bored during the day, and he had thought that maybe he should see about getting a hobby or something. "Why do you ask?"
"I was just curious. I don't really know a lot about vampires. Angel always tried to act like a man around me, like he wasn't a demon. I think it would have been easier for me to accept him if he had have been himself."
Spike looked away guiltily. He had done the same thing that morning. He hid his true face, wanting to spare Connor from the sight of it. He snorted at his own stupidity, the young man had grown up in a hell dimension - one of the worst ones at that - and he thought what? That his fangs and yellow eyes would traumatize him?
"you’re probably right, but in Angel’s defense - and I can't believe I'm defending that wanker - he acts that way with everyone. Except me, of course. Me, he just beats the tar out of on sight. He thinks that if he acts like a man, it'll make him less of a demon. Doesn't work that way; I have a soul but I know what I am, I know what I did. Doesn't change anything, just makes me think about my actions. I don't kill anymore, not because I can't but because I don't want to. That doesn't make me a man, just makes me different than before." Spike looked Connor dead in the eye and then let his demon face come out. "This is who I am. This is what you shared a bed with, what you shared your body with. Does it bother you?"
Connor stood and walked to Spike before dropping into a crouch before him. He lifted his hand toward Spike's face and then stopped. "May I?" He asked, and then reached out again when Spike nodded. He lightly traced the ridges on Spike's forehead and down the bridge of his nose. He lifted his face, turned it from side to side and then when Spike opened his mouth, he investigated his fangs.
"Xander had a mark on his throat. You did that?"
"Yes."
"You feed from him?"
"No. It's not that kind of mark."
"A claiming then?"
Spike was startled that Connor knew about claiming bites. He assumed his knowledge didn't come from Angel, but he didn't know where else he would have learned about this. "Yes, he's mine."
"Like property?"
"No! Not property. He's my... mate would be the best word for it."
"And me? Will you bite me?"
Spike wasn't sure if that was an invitation, or what to do with it if it was. "Do you want me to?" He waited while Connor seemed t think about it. A part of him was hoping he'd say yes, but another part - likely the soul - was hoping he said no. It was too soon for him to make such a huge decision. Xander and he had been together for months and he had only claimed him the night before.
"No. It's not that I don't accept the fact that you're a demon, it's just too soon for me to think about that. I understand the ways of beasts - when they mate, it's for life. I don't know you well enough for that." Connor realized that what he said could be taken as an insult and quickly back-peddled to try and explain. "Oh! Uh, not that I was calling you a beast. I mean, I know you're a demon but you’re not an animal. You're intelligent... Um, you have a soul, and... and... "
Spike couldn't help but laugh. "Easy, luv. I get it; no need to babble. We get enough of that around here with Xan."
Xander tried to look outraged but couldn't quite pull it off. He looked at Spike and Connor and then smiled sheepishly. "It's true. I babble." He shrugged his shoulders and then tilted his head and studied Spike. He hadn't seen him stay in game face this long before. "Is it more comfortable this way?"
Spike looked at him questioningly and Xander pointed. "Your face. Is it more comfortable for you to be like that?"
"Nah, feels fine either way. It's not like wearing a mask or anything. I have two faces, one human and one demon. They just suit different purposes. Can't bite properly in my human face, and can't blend into the crowd in my demon one." Spike smiled softly at Xander and shook his head fondly. "Sometimes you ask the most bizarre questions, love." Spike reverted back to his human face and Connor smiled.
"Cool."
~!~
They spent the day talking; getting to know each other better. Xander was both stunned and outraged at some of the things Connor had told him about the way he had been raised. His own upbringing was less than stellar, but this was downright abusive. What kind of monster left a five year old tied to a tree and then left him to escape on his own and then have to track his parent by scent alone. And that was one of the milder tales he had shared. It made him want to wrap Connor in cotton and keep him safe from the world.
Spike had shifted into game face and began growling about halfway through the first story. By the time Connor told them of his trip through the portal that had brought them back here to this dimension, he was pacing the room and snapping his teeth. Xander didn't blame him; if he had fangs of his own, they'd be itching to rip Holtz' throat out. Lucky thing the man was already dead.
There was a scooby meeting that night, and Spike and Xander convinced Connor to come along and meet the gang, but told him it was probably best if he left Angel's name out of it. Spike briefly explained Buffy's involvement with Angel and Connor understood. He was nervous about the meeting though; he wasn't sure how these people - these friends of Xander's would take to him being involved with both Xander and Spike. He knew it was an odd occurrence - three people being together in a sexual relationship, but both Spike and Xander refused to hide the truth about them. They said that the others would have to cope and deal. They were tired of keeping secrets.
As the time to leave grew closer, Connor became more and more nervous. He had never fit in well with large groups; his father's friends had proven that. They never liked him - well, except Fred, but then she had turned on him as well.
Xander pulled Connor into his arms. "Relax, it'll be fine. They won't hate you; yeah they'll find this whole threesome thing a bit weird, but they'll deal. It'll be okay, trust me."
Spike wrapped his arms around both of them and sighed. He only hoped Xander was right. The scoobies could be an accepting lot, but they were fiercely loyal to their own and didn't take to intruders too kindly. He knew they still had issues with him and Xander being a couple. Adding Connor to the mix was likely to stir things up for a while. "Come on, pets. Time to face the inquisition."
~!~
Part 14
Xander opened the door to the Magic Box and walked inside. Spike and Connor followed behind him - both a bit wary of the reception they'd receive. Connor was looking forward to seeing the slayer - he wanted to know if she was as good as Angel had said she was. Connor noted that there were three women and two men in the shop and tried to put names to the faces.
Robin Wood was easy to pick out, which meant the other man had to be Rupert Giles. He knew that Buffy was blonde - he had heard enough about her from Cordelia. She always complained about his father’s proclivities for bitchy blondes - he should have known that was why she dyed her hair. So that meant the other two had to be Willow and Kennedy. He just wasn't sure which was which.
"Ladies! Gentlemen." Xander grinned at the others in the room. "What's on the agenda tonight?" He tried not to tense as Buffy eyed Connor with suspicion. "Anything hellmouthy?"
"Xander!" All three girls hissed at him and looked pointedly toward Connor. Xander followed their gazes and smiled at his newest lover.
"Connor, come and meet the gang." Xander grinned as Spike flung his arm over Connor's shoulder and whispered in his ear before walking him over to Xander. "This is Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, Robin and Giles." Xander pointed to each person as he named him or her. Connor nodded and smiled as best as he could. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable - like a bug under a microscope.
"Hello, Connor." Giles - being ever the polite Englishman stuck out his hand and smiled as Connor shook it. "What brings you to Sunnydale?"
"Uh, Xander, actually." Connor looked at both Spike and Xander hoping one of them would bail him out of this awkward situation. So far, it wasn't working.
"Oh? How do you know Xander?"
Connor blushed and Spike laughed out loud. Xander shot Spike a look and he quieted down and then bowed his head. He looked up at Xander through his lashes and blinked. "Sorry love, couldn't help it." Xander swallowed down the raging lust that always accompanied that look from his lover and nodded his acceptance of the vampire's half-assed apology.
"Connor and I met in L.A. a little while back. We bonded over slayage." Xander drew Connor close to him and wrapped his arms around him. He noticed Willow's eyebrows shoot up into her hairline.
"How... bonded... are you guys?" Willow kept looking back and forth between Xander and Connor standing together and Spike standing a few feet away. The vampire knew exactly what she was thinking - that he had been thrown over for the boy - and stepped closer to his two human lovers.
"Oh they're very bonded, luv. In fact we spent most of the morning... bonding." Spike leered at the girls as they caught onto what he was saying. Willow looked mildly intrigued, Kennedy looked indifferent - as she did about everything that wasn't about slaying or Willow, and Buffy looked ... well, actually, Buffy looked a bit sick.
Giles polished his glasses, pinched his nose, and then polished his glasses again - just for good measure. Robin followed Buffy's lead and made the appropriate "ick" noises.
"This is all your fault!" Buffy glared at Spike. "First, you make Xander gay. Then you turn him into some kind of perverted freak!"
Spike blinked in shock. He hadn't seen the slayer this angry with him since he'd gotten back from Africa. He knew she was only seconds away from reaching into her purse and pulling out Mr. Pointy. He back-peddled away from her at the same time as Connor stepped in front of him.
"It's not like that." Connor took a deep calming breath and then looked Buffy squarely in the eyes. "In fact, Spike had nothing to do with me and Xander. That was between Xander and me. If anything, Spike should have been against my being here, but he's very... accepting." Connor turned and smiled at Spike and was rewarded with a smile and a wink in return. "If my being here bothers you, I will go."
"Wait!" Willow didn't want the young man to leave without at least finding out how he had come to be involved with both Xander and Spike. It seemed so unlikely that Spike would be okay with another person touching Xander - he always struck her as being the possessive type. "Don't leave. Buffy was just surprised; she'll behave now. Won't you, Buffy?"
Buffy nodded and stepped away from the threesome and went back to Robin who had moved himself a discreet distance away from the group. He was never comfortable around Spike, and once he and Xander had taken up together he made it a point to avoid them when at all possible. He was sickened by the idea of two men together - especially when one of them wasn't even human. And now it looked as though they were recruiting.
Xander cleared his throat and waited until he had everyone's attention. "Okay, here's the thing. I'm not going to tell you how we got together - it's none of your business - but we are together. Connor is in the know about the whole demons-roam-the-earth thing. He's very capable of taking care of himself, would be an asset to the team. If you don't want us here we'll walk - but that means all three of us."
"Yes, well, Xander you are correct. Your personal relationship is none of our business. I, for one, hope you are happy, and that you will continue to grace us with your presence. All of you." Giles turned steely eyes on his slayer and her boyfriend; he knew that Robin's opinions were poisoning Buffy's mind but didn't see how to stop it from happening. He just hoped she didn't drive Xander away because of it. "Now, if we can get down to business, there is a good possibility that we have a L'tesh demon problem."
~!~
Xander couldn't help but grin on the way home. He was happy. Happy because not only had Connor killed a L'tesh demon - he had saved Buffy while doing it. He knew that would go a long way toward gaining Buffy's acceptance. He had proven himself in battle and earned a place on the team. Besides that, watching Spike and Connor as they fought - the raw, primal way they moved as they tore through the large clan of demons - was intense. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten so turned on watching Spike fight.
They moved fluently - it was obvious that Connor had trained with Angel, as Spike was able to fall into step with him so easily. Xander even caught Willow watching them with a look of awe. It made him feel an overwhelming sense of pride - that his lovers fought so well they drew attention to themselves. A few years ago, Xander would have been green with envy, but now he accepted the fact that he was not a strong fighter - well, he was for a mere human, but in this group it didn't count for much.
~!~
Spike was horny. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a fight so much. The L'tesh were dangerous creatures - seven feet tall and covered in a thick hide like a rhinoceros. They had six-inch claws - razor sharp - and two rows of teeth pointy enough to give a vampire fang-envy. He was glad Xander had stayed out of the fight for the most part - he always feared that Xander would be hurt; but at the same time he was amazed by the way Connor moved. The boy was good - damn good. Strong as a slayer and just as fast, plus he had a vampire's sense of smell and reflexes. All in all, he was a hell of a fighter. Spike couldn't wait to get to get home; he could smell the arousal pouring off both his lovers and it was all he could do to stop from pulling them into the next dark alley.
~!~
Connor walked between Spike and Xander. He looked around at the other people they saw as they made their way home. He was stunned that not one of them commented or even looked twice at the three gore-splattered men walking through town. It was one thing to be ignored in a city as big as L.A., but he thought that this sort of thing would draw attention in a small place like Sunnydale. But no one seemed to care. It was... odd.
He hoped that having killed that demon before it could get its claws into the slayer would help to smooth things over between her and Xander. He didn't want to be the reason Xander lost a friend. He honestly thought that if given a chance, he and Buffy could be friends as well. She was a good fighter and he wouldn't mind sparring with her one-on-one sometime. Of course, the same could be said of Spike. He could see his father’s teachings in the blonde vampire’s fighting style, but there was more to it than that. Spike used moves Connor had never seen - moves that he wanted to learn for himself. He would have to see if Spike would teach them to him. But first, he needed to get cleaned up and then, hopefully, they could have sex again. He could smell how turned on both Xander and Spike were and it was making him ache for release.
~!~
As soon as the apartment door clicked shut, Spike pounced. Xander had been expecting it - knowing full well that a good fight always got the vampire's motor revving. Connor hadn't been expecting it, though, so his startled yelp sounded throughout the front room as he went down right beside Xander under a whirling mass of black leather and blonde hair.
Xander laughed at the look of shock on Connor's face as the vampire literally tore his shirt from his body. He really should have prepared him for a post-battle horny Spike.
"He gets like this after a fight; it's best to just lie back and let him do it. We'll have to see about getting you some more clothes tomorrow." Connor nodded and then closed his eyes as his jeans were ripped open and his erection was swallowed whole. He open his eyes moments later as he felt Spike moving around and saw that Xander was undressing the vampire.
With both Spike and Connor naked on the living room floor, Xander walked to the bedroom - peeling off his clothes as he went - and retrieved the lube from the bedside table drawer. He didn't waste any time in using the lube to prepare Spike as the vampire continued his oral assault on the writhing young man in front of him.
Xander slid into Spike and then pulled out almost immediately. He thrust back in as hard as he could and smiled as the vampire pushed back against him. He wanted to fuck Spike - hard and fast - and hoped that that was he wanted as well. He gripped the pale hips of his lover and began pounding into him fiercely. He could hear Spike's whimpers and moans mingled with Connor's and knew that none of them were going to last much longer.
Connor arched his back and cried out as he came. He watched as Spike let his softening flesh slip from his mouth and shifted into his demon face. It was still amazing to Connor that Spike would show this part of himself so freely - after Angel made such an effort to hide it from him. He saw Xander sit back and pull Spike up against his chest. The vampire's cock was hard and leaking a steady stream of fluid. Connor reached out and lightly ran one finger across the glistening head, collecting the fluids, and then brought his finger to his mouth.
Spike groaned as he watched Connor taste him. He shot his hand out and grabbed the younger man by the wrist; pulling him close, he kissed him hard, darting his tongue into his mouth and tasting himself there. He was mindful of his fangs; he didn't want to hurt the boy, after all.
Connor could hardly believe he was kissing a vampire in full 'grr' face. He was curious about Spike's fangs though; he wondered if it would feel good for him if he were to lick them. So he did.
Spike screamed into the kiss and thrust back hard onto Xander's cock. He reached for his own, wanting to jack himself furiously as Connor continued to lick at his fangs. He was surprised and delighted to feel a warm hand wrap around his shaft before he could do it himself. He lost himself in the rhythm of pushing forward into the hand and back onto Xander's cock. He held out as long as he could, but at the feel of Xander's teeth in his shoulder he came with howl.
Connor smiled and raised his semen-splattered fingers to his mouth and licked them clean. Spike's eyes opened wide in surprise; he had assumed it was Xander's hand on him, not Connor's. Connor guessed what he was thinking and laughed softly. "I lived in Quortoth; there were no girls, or even boys. I know how to do that."
Xander burst out laughing and Spike and Connor joined him. They lay on the floor for several minutes catching their breath before getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower before going to bed. Tomorrow would be Connor's first day of work and Xander wanted to make sure they were both well rested. Spike just wanted to bask in the warmth of being pressed between two living bodies all night long.
~!~
Part 15
Connor had been in Sunnydale for two weeks and other than that first night, he had never been happier. Spike had gotten him a proper ID through one of his demon contacts - it had helped that he already had an identity in this world, they just had to switch a few dates around. So now he was Connor Angel - 19-year-old construction worker living with two men and loving every minute of it.
He really enjoyed the work he was doing; building things was a lot of fun and it did keep him in terrific shape. He enjoyed the pay, as well. He'd never had his own money before and had fun spending it on Xander and Spike. They humored him with some of the outrageous things he had purchased - like the leather motorcycle jacket he just had to have when he saw it.
The others - Xander's friends - were okay, but he really didn't like the slayer’s boyfriend. He was always giving him dirty looks and he was even worse when it came to Spike - he didn't even try to hide his revulsion toward their relationship.
It was Saturday morning and he was lying awake in bed between his two lovers looking up at the ceiling. He couldn't remember how he had gotten in the middle of the bed since that was Spike's preferred place to sleep. He didn't really care though, seeing as Xander was snuggled into one side of him and Spike the other. He felt the vampire stir slightly before he lifted his head from Connor's shoulder and opened sleepy blue eyes.
"You really are Angel's son, aren't you? You're brooding loud enough to wake the dead - literally," Spike softened his words by smiling up at the young man and then pulling himself up far enough to kiss him gently. "Don't fret about those wankers Xander calls friends - they'll frown and complain, but as long as Xan's happy, they'll leave us alone."
"It's that Robin guy. I don't like him - there's something... off about him." Connor searched for the word he was looking for, the one that would describe the feelings of unease he had around the man, but couldn't find it. It was just something he felt, bone deep. The man was going to be trouble.
"His mum was a slayer, back in the day... I killed her. He has a right to hate me, but I don't see why that should bleed over onto you or Xander. He's just ... homophobic, I guess." Spike looked over at the other man who shared the bed and smiled softly; Xander could sleep through anything. "Don't let his closed mind bother you; Xander loves us and we love him, yeah? So everyone else can just sod off."
Connor couldn't help the stupid grin that crept across his face. Spike had just said that Xander loved him; he really wanted to believe that. Then he realized the other thing he had said and frowned. "Homophobic? What does that mean?"
Spike snorted softly. "It means he hates you, me, Xander, all of us, just because we're all men and we shag each other. His type find the whole idea of a couple of blokes - or a few blokes in our case - getting it on disgusting."
"What about Willow and Kennedy? He doesn't seem to mind that they're both women and have a sexual relationship." Connor was puzzled by the way Robin reacted so differently about the women being together when they were the same sex, as well.
"Show me any straight man - or bisexual man for that matter - who says he isn't interested in watching two ladies shag each other and I'll show you a liar. S'just the way it goes, love. Women are more accepted as being gay than men are. At first, I thought it was the penetration issue, but then I realized that couldn't be it. I mean, a man will stick his cock up his lady's arse and everything is hunky-dory. But do the same thing to a man and it's disgusting. Humans have so many hang-ups when it comes to sex."
Connor looked thoughtful and then shrugged. "I guess I still have a lot to learn about being human. I was taught that it was an offense against the Lord to lay with a member of your own sex. My... Holtz raised me to be a God-fearing man - or at least he tried to. I mean, the whole concept of hell was lost on me; I already lived there. Hell would probably seem easy to me after the way I lived. If loving you and Xander is going to send me to hell, then it's worth it. This is the happiest I've ever been."
Connor looked down shyly as he realized he had just admitted to the blonde that he loved him. He hadn't planned on saying that. Not yet, possibly not ever. Whenever he loved someone, he lost them - and he didn't want to lose either of these two men.
Spike lifted Connor's chin with one finger and looked into his eyes. "You mean that? You love me?" Connor nodded and closed his eyes - he waited for the inevitable.
Soft, cool lips pressed into his own and his eyes flew open in shock. He watched as the vampire drew back and smiled at him softly. Spike didn't speak; he gently moved Connor out from beneath Xander's still-sleeping form and rolled on top of him. He kissed the younger man, softly at first, and then with urgency as he began to undulate against him. Connor opened his legs and allowed the blonde's hips to rest between them, bringing their groins that much closer to each other.
Xander woke as the bed began to move; he opened one eye just enough to see what had disturbed him from his sleep and then grinned. He decided to play possum for awhile and just enjoy the show.
Connor kissed Spike back with everything he had. He was so stunned to still be here, to still be wanted that he couldn't hold back his emotions. When Spike kissed a trail down the side of his neck he turned his head and bared his throat submissively. He wanted to feel Spike's fangs in his skin - to give his blood, his love and acceptance to his lover. To belong to him the way Xander already did. "Spike, please?"
Spike was overcome by the plea. He hadn't expected to fall for the young man beneath him - not this quickly. But here he was, in love with another human with a damaged soul. One more child lost in the dark, one more person who was tainted by the world around him. His demon screamed to claim this boy - that he was blood of his blood by his very birth alone. The soul wanted him, as well - he was kindred. Spike licked the spot he would bite and then asked softly, "Are you sure, love? Once it's done it can't ever be undone. You'll be mine forever and I won't let you go."
There were tears in Connor's eyes as he smiled up at his vampire lover. "I don't want you to let me go. I want to be here, to be yours. Please, Spike. Make me belong."
Xander watched with longing as Spike's features melted into those of the demon and he lowered his face to Connor’s neck. He remembered all too well the feeling of those ivory daggers tearing into his flesh, making him whole, making him feel things he had never felt before. He envied Connor this first time. The first time was always the best.
Spike licked a path up the side of Connor's throat and then whispered in his ear, "I do love you, Connor. You and Xan, you're my world. You gave yourself to me freely, and now you're mine." Then he struck, sinking his fangs into the flesh just between neck and shoulder. Connor arched up off the bed and screamed as he climaxed. Spike continued to thrust wildly against him as he tore his fangs free of his skin and howled out his own orgasm.
Afterwards, they lay wrapped together, Spike licking the stray drops of blood from the wound on Connor's neck and purring soothingly. Connor dashed the tears from his eyes and burrowed deeper into the vampire’s embrace. Xander - his own arousal forgotten by the tender scene he'd just witnessed - rolled closer to his lovers and wrapped his arms around the both of them. "I love you. Both of you."
Connor smiled and met Xander's solemn gaze with watery blue eyes. "I love you too, Xander. Thank you - both of you - for letting me into your lives." Spike tightened his hold on the younger man and kissed the top of his head. Xander smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You are welcome. I couldn't imagine our lives now without you."
The three men snuggled back down in their warm nest of blankets and slipped off to sleep. All of them feeling content to simply remain in bed for as long as they could make this feeling of love and safety last. Hopefully the Hellmouth wouldn't spew forth anything to screw it up for them.
~!~
Part 16
The weekend seemed to fly by. Between standard patrols, the nest of fyral demons that had moved into Spike's old crypt and the hours they spent together in bed, the time had gone by too quickly for Connor's liking. Not that he was complaining about work - he loved his job - but he did miss Spike during the day. He could always see Xander - they ate lunch together everyday - but knowing that Spike was by himself in the apartment all day bothered him.
When Connor brought his concerns to Xander's attention, the older man smiled at him. "Spike's fine, really. He's spent a century as a bad ass vampire - he still needs his space from time to time. This lets him have it. During the day - when we aren't home - he can do whatever he wants, reminisce about his glory days, sleep, laze around in front of the TV or write god-awful poetry that he thinks I don't know about." Xander smiled at Connor's look of amusement. "Trust me, Spike's fine with the way things are; and if he wasn't, believe me, he'd tell us."
Connor had to take Xander's word for it - he had known their blonde lover a lot longer than Connor had. But even still - he vowed to find something for Spike to help him pass the time when they were all separated from each other. From what he had seen of daytime TV, there wasn't that much to amuse oneself with unless one actually liked watching people argue with their own siblings about sleeping with the cousin they had been engaged to. This world had its own version of hell - it was called the Jerry Springer show.
Five o'clock was quitting time and Connor met Xander at his car. Tonight they were picking up Chinese on the way home before the meeting at the magic shop. Connor liked the patrol part of those meetings but could do without all the research and bitter looks that came with the package. Back in L.A., Fred had done the research thing - before that it had been Wesley, and now they both worked together. Here it seemed everyone was expected to research and to fight. Not that he thought Angel's set-up was any better - just different.
"You're awfully quiet. Something happen today?" Xander could see that Connor had something on his mind - something he was obviously troubled with. He just hoped he would trust in him and talk to him about it. He wasn't blind to what was going on with the gang - he could see Robin's dislike for Spike and even himself and Connor pouring over onto Buffy. She had been distant lately, avoiding him. They used to have lunch together a couple times a week, but they hadn't done that since the night he'd introduced Connor. Come to think of it - it had slowed down quite a bit since he and Spike had gotten together. He wondered if this was what was bothering his young lover - the cool reception they seemed to get from Buffy every time they saw her? Willow and Giles were still okay with them but something was definitely up with the Buffster.
"No. Just ... something feels off about tonight. I have a bad feeling."
"Okay. Bad feeling how? Like the hellmouth is going to open and swallow us all, or bad feeling like Buffy, Wills and Kennedy are all on their monthly at the same time?" Xander scrunched up his face in thought. "Come to think of it, I'll take my chances with the hellmouth, thanks."
Connor smiled. Xander just had a way of making him feel better, no matter what it was that bothered him. "I'm not sure. It just feels like something is coming - something not good."
"We'll mention it to Spike when we get home. Maybe we can figure out what it is. One thing I've learned is not to doubt your instincts when living in Sunnydale. If you feel like something bad is coming, it probably is." With a sense of impending doom in the air, the two drove quietly to the Jade Palace and picked up dinner.
~!~
They were greeted with kisses before Spike took the bags of food from their arms and pushed them toward the shower. "Slayer called. Meeting's been moved up so I'll set out dinner while you two clean up. And I mean clean up - I catch you two playing around in there and I'll... Well, actually, I'll probably join you. Then we'll all get bitched at when we're late."
Xander nodded solemnly and headed for the shower. "Best if we shower separately then. Connor, fill Spike in while I get cleaned up, okay?" Xander disappeared into the bedroom and Connor turned around to see the blonde lounging in the doorway, his eyebrow cocked in a quizzical manner. "What's up, love?"
"I'm not sure. I just have this sense of foreboding. Like there is something here - or on its way that's going to be trouble. Xander said I shouldn't ignore my instincts on this, and to talk to you about it."
Spike tilted his head and fell silent. He looked as though he were searching for something and couldn't find it. Finally he focused on Connor again. "So, something wicked this way comes, huh? Well, can't say as I feel anything ... off-putting, but now that you mention it, I have been a bit edgy today. We'll talk to Rupes when we get to the shop - if we can get him away from the slayer and her boy-toy."
"Alright. Why don't I give you a hand getting dinner set out?"
~!~
Showered, fed, and loaded up with weapons, the trio headed out into the darkened streets of Sunnydale. They took out a small group of fledges on the way to the shop, something that seemed to calm both Spike and Connor down, somewhat. Xander smiled amusedly at his lovers; they both really got into the slaying.
As soon as the shop door opened, Xander wished he had fallen and smacked his head in the shower. Then he would have an excuse not to be here. It was pandemonium - Buffy and Willow were squared off with each other, yelling back and forth over God knew what. Giles and Robin were glaring at one another from across the room, and Kennedy was standing behind Willow glaring at Buffy.
Spike pulled Xander back toward the door slowly; he noticed that Connor had yet to come inside and hoped they could quietly slip away unnoticed. "Xan, love, come on. Let's go, yeah? Let them have their spat in peace." Spike continued to pull Xander outside and sighed in relief when the door closed behind them and they hadn't been caught.
"Spike? What the hell was all that about?" Xander's eyes were huge as he turned to look at his blonde lover. He had never seen Willow so angry at Buffy before.
Connor answered Xander. "They're fighting about us. About me. They don't think it's right for the three of us to be involved; they blame Spike. Or rather, Buffy and her boyfriend do. Willow is arguing that you're a grown man and can make your own decisions. No one else is speaking."
Xander groaned. He knew that Wood was a homophobic asshole, but he never expected Buffy to actually side with the jerk. He couldn't help but get a warm, fuzzy feeling by Willow defending him; it was good to know they hadn't grown so far apart that she wouldn't stick up for him. "Fuck. Can this night get any worse!"
Xander slapped his hand over his mouth and looked around in fright as Spike groaned and rolled his eyes. "Way to go, love; bloody brilliant!" Spike sighed and pulled out his stakes as he looked down the street.
Connor watched his lovers with confusion. "What are you doing? Did I miss something?" He had no idea what had frightened Xander or what Spike was looking for. He didn't sense anything coming toward them.
Spike snorted and smiled softly at Connor. "Xan here just bloody well jinxed us. Never, and I mean never, ask if things can get worse when you live on the hellmouth. They will, and in the worst way you could imagine."
Just as Spike finished his explanation, a black Plymouth convertible came squealing around the corner. Connor and Spike both recognised Angel?s car and glared at Xander. Xander took one look in their direction and whined. "What? What are you glaring at me for?"
~!~
Part 17
"Spike, I said I was sorry!" Xander pouted when his apology fell on deaf ears. He really hadn't meant to jinx them; sometimes he just spoke without thinking. Connor wrapped his arms around him from the back and rested his face against Xander?s shoulder.
"It's okay, Xan. This was bound to happen sooner or later. Best to just get it over with." Connor wasn't looking forward to the confrontation with his father, but it was a long time in coming as far as he was concerned. He needed his father to understand that he wasn't a child - that he was a man; that he was capable of making his own decisions. He needed to tell him why he was so angry, and why he could never forgive him.
It wasn't about Cordelia. Time and distance had given him the clarity to see that while what he felt for her was genuine, it wasn't right. She had always loved his father, had seen herself as a mother figure to him when he was an infant; she would always love him - just not in the way that he had wanted. He was okay with that now, he was even okay with her and his father - provided she didn't make him happy. He didn't want to see the demon in control again anytime soon.
Spike snarled in annoyance. "No it is not soddin? okay! Angelus is my sire, damn it! He may be a wanker and a souled up nancy-boy but he's still my sire. And that means he can order me away from you. From both of you." Spike turned a desperate look on his lovers. "I couldn't take that - I'm no good on my own, Xander; you know that."
Xander held his arms open and Spike moved into his embrace. Xander held Spike and Connor moved around so that he embraced him from the other side. The three stood together for an all too brief moment before breaking apart.
"He cannot order me to leave, Spike. If you go, I'll follow - as will Xander, I'm sure." Xander nodded his agreement and Spike sighed in relief. He looked back toward the shop where he could see Angel and two women getting out of the car. "Shall we get this over with, or go home?"
"Home. Deadboy doesn't have an invite to the apartment. He can talk to you through the barrier." Xander wasn't taking any chances that Angel wouldn't stake his lover. A mystical barrier sounded like a very good idea. Connor grinned at the nickname and then took Spike's hand. "Xander's right. Let's go home."
~!~
They had just opened the apartment door when the sound of Buffy's voice on the answering machine split the air. Xander grimaced at the shrill tone; he had never thought Buffy could sound so ... shrewish.
"Xander? Xander pick up. I know you're there. Why didn't you tell me that Connor was Angel's son? Xander? If Spike has done something.... "
There was a beep and the machine clicked off. Spike shook his head. "When is that bint going to get it through her thick skull that I'm not corrupting you? Hell, Xander. Doesn't she realise that you were the one who kissed me the first time? I never would have made a move otherwise; thought you were straight, I did."
Xander smiled sheepishly. "It never actually came up. Buffy never asked and I never offered details. I guess I should have told her, huh?"
"You think?" Spike rolled his eyes and sank into the chair. He was becoming increasingly tired of this crap. Some days it was all he could do to keep from packing them all up and moving away from this godforsaken town.
Xander crouched in front of Spike and looked at him with a serious expression. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault; I should have told them." Spike couldn't let Xander blame himself for this mess. It wasn't the boy's fault. The slayer would have blamed him regardless, and with Robin filling her ears with all those poisonous accusations, it was a miracle it had taken this long before everything went to hell.
"Not yer fault, love. C'mere." Spike pulled Xander onto his lap and kissed him gently. He held the man in his arms and rubbed his back soothingly. He was so set on making Xander feel better, he didn't see Connor slip out of the apartment.
~!~
Connor made his way back to the shop quickly. He knew that none of this was Xander's fault; it was his. He knew that things had gotten worse for his lovers after his involvement with them had been made apparent. He also knew that Angel wouldn't be here if it weren?t for him. He would not allow his father to hurt Spike; he wouldn't allow him to take away the only people who had ever made him feel like he belonged.
Connor waited outside the shop in the darkened street. He knew that his father could sense him, and that he would come out to him. He was counting on it. There was no way he was going to have this confrontation in front of Xander's friends. They didn't know anything of his life before Sunnydale, and he planned to keep it that way. He wouldn't have their pity.
~!~
The door opened and Angel stepped out. He scanned the street and his eyes locked on Connor's form. He strode toward him with a purpose and then stopped short before switching into game face and snarling. "Spike!"
Connor realised suddenly that Angel could probably smell Spike's claim on him. He called himself a thousand kinds of fool for not thinking about that before rushing off into the night. It was too late to turn back now though, so he squared his shoulders and walked calmly toward his enraged father.
"Hello, father. What brings you to Sunnydale?" Connor stopped just out of reach of Angel and studied his face. He hadn't seen his father's demon face for this long before. It was funny how he was no longer disgusted by it.
"Connor, what have you done? Spike is an animal - a soulless monster! Is this your way of getting back at me? I'll kill him!" Angel turned and tore off down the street. He had been given Xander's address by Buffy's boyfriend - hell it was Buffy's boyfriend who had called him and told him where Connor was to begin with.
Connor ran after his father; there was no way he was letting him anywhere near Spike - or Xander, for that matter. He wasn't thinking clearly; the demon had control right now, and the demon wouldn't care that Spike had a soul or that Xander was human. "Stop! Angel, father , ANGELUS!" Connor screamed at the fleeing vampire and was relieved when he stopped and turned to look at him.
"What?" It was more a growl than a word, but at least he wasn't running anymore.
"Spike has a soul. If you kill him, it will be murder. And besides that, I love him." Connor hoped that Angel believed him. "I love both of them and they love me."
Angel growled softly. He wondered what kind of game Spike was playing. Surely, if he did have a soul, Buffy would have told him. Or Spike would have come to him for guidance, assistance. It had to be a trick. "No. He's lying to you. He's using you to get back at me - I'm going to tear him limb from limb." Angel turned and began walking away.
Connor shook his head sadly. "Why do you hate me, father?"
The earnestness behind the question stopped Angel dead in his tracks. He turned back and looked at Connor, a serious expression on his face, "I don't hate you. How can you even think that? Connor, you are my son. I love you."
"Then leave, father. I'm happy here. I have a job, people who love me, accept me, and actually want me in their lives. Please, don't take this from me the way you took my child. I couldn't bear it, not again." Connor wept silently at the reminder of that horrible time in his life.
Angel's resolve crumbled. He, too, was reliving that horrible night. He could see the anguish on his son's face, the hurt and betrayal. He saw it every time he closed his eyes, every time he tried to sleep; his nightmares were filled with it. "Connor," Angel's voice broke as he tried to speak.
"You killed my child; you took him and just... killed him. I understand why, but you didn't even let me say goodbye; you never gave me the chance to accept any of it. Do you know how that felt? To know that the people who were supposed to be your friends - your family - were plotting to kill your child?"
Angel could only nod his head. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He swallowed and tried again. "Yes. When your mother, when Darla first came to me, the others - Wesley and Gunn - they were convinced you were evil, they wanted to killed you at birth." Angel remembered the anger - the rage - he felt toward them. Even after Connor was born and they had determined he was human. He could understand if Connor hated him. "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make it up to you, doesn't change what happened, but it's true. I am sorry."
Connor nodded. "I believe you. I can't forgive you, but I believe you."
Angel closed his eyes. He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness, but hearing those words from his son cut him to the quick. He opened his mouth to speak but never got the chance as he was tackled from behind.
~!~
Part 18
With a roar of fury, Spike charged out of the apartment. Xander ran after him, knowing full well that he would have to be the voice of reason and sanity if Spike was set on tearing after Angel. He understood why Connor had gone - he'd have done the same thing in his place - but he wasn't happy about it. They were supposed to face things as a united front. And they were suppose to do it here where Angel couldn't get in!
Vamp speed being what it was, Xander got in his car and drove - he didn't stand a chance of catching his lover otherwise. He tore off toward the shop in hopes that he might actually get there before Spike, but doubting he would be that lucky.
~!~
Angel went down momentarily but quickly recovered from the attack. He turned to find his enraged childe in full demon face snarling and gnashing his fangs at him. He was momentarily startled but then his own demon came to the fore and he launched himself at the blonde.
Spike was beyond words; he was in full protective mode - Connor was his now, his to protect, to keep, to love. He wasn't letting Angel take him away from him. He attacked his sire viciously - gouging at his face and neck with his taloned fingers. He vaguely registered others coming into view as the shop door opened and Buffy and the others spilled into the street. He didn't care right now; the only thing that mattered was defending his lover from this potential threat.
~!~
Connor groaned in frustration as his lover and his father fought one another with fists and fangs. This was not the way it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to convince Angel to leave, to go back to L.A., and then he would go back to his lovers and tell them that everything had been taken care of. He really wished Xander were here; he would know what to do about this.
"God! This just gets better and better, doesn't it?" Connor muttered to himself as the door to the Magic Box opened and the slayer stepped outside followed by her boyfriend, her watcher, the witch and her girlfriend. Then after a moment?s pause, Cordelia and Fred exited the shop, as well. He really hoped Buffy stayed out of the fight, otherwise he would have to join in, too.
~!~
Buffy screeched and went to leap into the fray only to be blocked by Giles. "I rather think this is a personal matter between Angel and his childe. Unless it looks like they are in danger of dusting one another, you will stay out of it." Buffy tried to side step her watcher but found that Giles was quite serious about her not interfering. Connor relaxed visibly; he really didn't want to have to fight her.
Connor turned his attention back to the fight and shuddered at the amount of blood that had been drawn. He knew for a fact that this was going to draw the vampires in the area and only hoped that they would either stay far enough back to not be a threat or that Buffy would do her job and take them out.
~!~
Xander slammed on the brakes and stumbled out of the car. He ran toward the battle and then stopped short at the sight he was met with. Spike and Angel were covered in blood, fully vamped out and growling at one another. He looked over and saw that Giles was physically preventing Buffy from getting in the middle, and sighed in relief. Willow was watching the fight and holding Kennedy back from getting involved as well. Cordelia and some skinny, brown-haired chick were standing by watching the whole thing - Cordy looked bored and her companion looked nervous, but otherwise they seemed determined to stay out of it. He looked at Robin and saw the smug expression on the bastard's face and just knew that he was behind this whole fiasco. He didn't know how he had found out that Connor was Angel's kid, but somehow he had, and then called Deadboy and got him here.
Xander looked over at his young lover and saw the stricken look on his face. It made it very easy to do what he did next. With purposeful steps, he walked right up to Robin Woods and punched him in the face. "You fucking homophobic bastard!" Xander kicked the man as he fell to his knees holding his broken nose. "You had no right to interfere in our lives! Just because you're fucking Buffy, that doesn't make you one of us! If you ever mess with me and mine again, I'll tell every demon on the hellmouth that your mother was a slayer. Bet it'll get them real interested in you."
Xander glared at Buffy as she stormed toward him. "Don't!" He held up a hand to forestall whatever she was going to say. "I don't fucking care what you say, Buffy. I've been your friend for seven years. I've been hurt and almost killed for you, and I don't regret it. But this? This is going to tear us apart. I won't be friends with someone who hurts the people I love most - not even if it's only because her choice in men is abominable."
Giles smiled at Xander as he walked past him and wrapped his arms around Connor from behind. Xander rested his chin on the shorter man's shoulder and watched as Spike and Angel continued to fight. So far all they had done was draw blood from one another. If things got worse, he wasn't sure how he was going to stop it.
~!~
Angel was slowly asserting himself over his demon. He realised that Spike's feral behaviour was only because he saw him as a threat to his claim on Connor. He was actually stunned by it. He knew that Spike was only this passionate about people that he truly loved, which meant that what he felt for Connor had to be genuine. He needed to get Spike back in control so they could talk.
"Spike. Listen to me." Angel was caught off guard as Spike lunged at him and bit deeply into his shoulder through the silk of his shirt. He howled in outrage and punched his childe in the face. Spike flicked the blood off his lips and grinned at him, then he punched back.
The fight took on an edge of desperation as Spike tried to prove himself a capable protector, and Angel tried to subdue Spike's demon. For every punch landed, every drop of blood spilled, the fight became more frenzied. Finally, Angel swept Spike's feet out from under him and pounced on his back.
Spike bucked and howled as he tried to escape. He knew what came next and fought against it with everything he had. He would not be dominated by his sire. Even as he felt Angel?s fangs at his throat, he fought to free himself.
Angel stilled, his fangs brushing the skin of Spike's neck. "Get yourself under control childe, or I'll do it for you." He waited to see if Spike would continue to fight him or calm himself and submit. He pretty much figured that it would end up with him having to dominate the younger vampire into submission. Spike had always been stubborn - a trait that Angelus had enjoyed, as it meant he got to dominate Spike often.
Seeing no other course of action, Angel bit savagely into Spike's neck and drew on his blood. He pulled back - Spike's blood on his fangs - just in time to see an enraged Xander fly toward him. He rolled to the side but not fast enough to avoid the sharp kick that caught him in the ribs before Xander was pulled back by Connor.
~!~
Spike groaned and rolled onto his back. He looked over at his lovers and saw the anger and determination on Xander's face and smiled. He also saw how hard Connor was holding onto him and couldn't help the weak chuckle that escaped his lips. He could smell the slayer's boy's blood in the air and wondered whom he had to thank for hurting the wanker. Then he looked at his sire and was shocked by the look of acceptance in his eyes. "Poof? Er, I mean, Angel?"
Angel sighed and shook his head. "Spike, I didn't want to fight you."
Spike raised his brow in disbelief. "Well, first times and all that, then. You did a hell of a job for a guy whose heart wasn't in it." He looked over at his lovers and smiled softly at them before getting to his feet. "We done here, sire? 'Cause if so, I'd like to take what's mine and go home." Spike's eyes flashed in defiance at Angel.
"Not yet." Angel walked to his son who was now being held protectively by Xander. Angel shook his head at the craziness of the entire situation. The Xander he remembered chased everything in a skirt and hated vampires. Now he was not only involved with a man, he was involved with two of them, and one of them was a vampire. Spike. "Connor, I would like to finish speaking with you. Privately."
Connor nodded and stepped out of Xander's embrace. He stepped toward Angel and then turned back to his lover and kissed him softly. "It's fine, don't worry." Xander nodded and watched as Spike grabbed Connor by the arm and pulled him into his arms before kissing him breathless. Xander couldn't help but smile as Angel's eyes grew comically wide at the sight of his son and his childe making out right there on the street in front of him.
~!~
Part 19
Spike and Xander watched warily as Connor and Angel walked away from the group. Both of them were worried about Connor, but were willing to wait and see what happened. Not that Spike had much choice in the matter; he had been bitten - made to submit to Angel - so he had to do as he was told. The only thing keeping him sane was the knowledge that neither Connor nor Xander would abandon him - even if he were the one to leave. Plus, from the way Angel looked at him he was pretty sure that he had made his point - that he wasn't playing here, that these humans meant everything to him.
Xander shot a dirty look at the rest of the group, except for Willow and Giles. He watched with a sneer of disgust on his face as Buffy fussed over Robin. Spike noticed the look and made the connection immediately. He smirked at his lover and nodded his head toward the slayer's broken boyfriend. "You do that, pet?" Xander smiled and nodded. "Good job, love."
"He called Angel. I don't know how he figured it out, but I know he's behind it. Maybe he'll learn to stay out of things that don't concern him in the future." Xander glared over at the man who looked back at him defiantly. He snorted in disgust and pulled Spike into his arms. "Then again, maybe I'll just follow through on my threat to inform the local demon population of what his mother was. Should keep both him and Buffy too busy to bother us anymore. With any luck, they'll either kill him or run him out of town."
Spike looked at Xander and smiled proudly at him. He knew better than to underestimate his lover, and apparently Wood was just beginning to understand that Xander Harris was not a man you wanted to be on the bad side of. Hopefully, Buffy would pull his head out of his ass for him before he screwed up too badly; then again, Spike thought it might be a spot of good entertainment watching him run screaming into the night with a bunch of nasties chasing him down. "Likely kill 'im. Far as I know, he's one of a kind. No other slayer ever had a kid - bet a lot of vamps would like to see if he tastes as good as his mother. Lot of other demons too, I'm sure."
Robin blanched slightly and then turned his head sharply as Cordelia spoke up. "That's the least of his worries. If Wolfram and Hart get wind of this, they'll chop him up into iddy biddy pieces just to see what makes him tick." Cordelia looked pointedly at Robin and gave him the patented Chase glare. "I love Connor, he seems happy here; if I find out you hurt him - you do anything to hurt him - I will inform them myself. You got that?"
~!~
"Was that little display really necessary?" Angel frowned at the remembered image of Spike and his son in a passionate embrace. He could have happily lived forever without seeing that.
"It wasn't my idea. You know how Spike is." Connor thought about that and then grimaced. "Let?s forget I just said that, okay?" He really didn't want to think about the fact that his father and the blonde vampire had been intimate when they were both unsouled.
"Good idea. In fact, I'd be happy if we never discussed your involved with Spike again. Or Xander, actually; how you managed to get involved with the two people who I dislike the most, I'll never know."
Connor raised his brow and looked at him. "You dislike Spike and Xander more than Lilah? More than Gavin or Lindsey? How about Justine or Wesley?" Connor smiled as Angel scowled.
"Point."
They continued to walk in silence before finally Connor stopped and just waited for Angel to speak. He didn't have to wait long. "So. You're really happy here? Xander treats you well?" He already knew where Spike stood as far as Connor was concerned, but he wasn't sure about Xander.
"Yes. I am happy here. Xander has been more than good to me; he's gotten me a job - trained me in construction, he's taken me into his home and his life. He loves me." Connor really hoped that Angel understood what he was trying to say. "I love him, father. He makes me happy - they both do."
"Okay, I believe you. But will you tell me how you and Xander got involved in the first place?" Connor nodded and they began walking again as he told Angel the story of how he met Xander in a seedy bar in L.A.
~!~
Spike looked at the cheerleader with dawning respect. He was sure that Angel's fan club was going to be one more obstacle to overcome, not an allied force. Unfortunately, Robin had no idea who he was dealing with.
"Please. You're no better than they are. I see you for what you are, a vampire's whore." Robin sneered at Cordelia and then continued. "You make me sick. Demons are evil, vile creatures; they should be destroyed, not coddled, protected, and loved." His superior attitude was making Xander sick. He wondered if anyone had told him about Buffy's past lovers.
As Robin spoke, the others moved farther and farther away from him. They could see what he couldn't - a very pissed-off Buffy standing behind him. "The very idea that a woman such as yourself would allow a thing like that to touch you... it makes my skin crawl. You're no better than the filth that pay vampires to feed off them for the thrill of it."
The brunette smirked and then in true Cordelia Chase fashion, pointed to Buffy before addressing Robin. "A whore? No better than filth, am I? Well, if that's what I am for loving a vampire, a vampire I've never even slept with, what does that make your precious slayer then? Seeing as she's slept with both Angel and Spike? What does that make you? Since you're involved with her? Not so simple now, is it?"
Robin turned to his girlfriend, a look of shock and outrage on his face. "Is this true?"
"Yes. It is. I loved Angel, and he loved me. Spike, well Spike was a different story. He loved me, but I used him. I was going through a difficult phase and he was there for me." Buffy looked over at her ex-lover and one of her dearest friends and couldn't believe the way she had treated them lately. "Xander, Spike, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me."
Xander covered Spike's mouth before he could reply; he just knew that the vampire was going to say something rude, having to do with parts of Robin's anatomy that Xander would rather not think about. "I know, Buff. We'll talk later."
Buffy turned back to Robin and shook her head sadly at him. "You know, I can understand your hatred of vampires, of Spike in particular since he killed your mother, but the things you just said to Cordelia were very ugly. Is that how you feel about me now that you know about my past lovers? Am I nothing more than a vampire's whore?"
Robin looked at Buffy with disdain. "No, you're worse than that. You're the slayer; you're supposed to kill demons, not fuck them." He sneered at Buffy and then continued. "You make me sick; you're an abomination - you sully everything my mother stood for. You aren't worthy of being the chosen one. They should have left you to rot in your grave."
Buffy looked like a broken little girl at his harsh words; her lower lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. Xander and Spike stepped toward Robin, intent on making him pay for hurting Buffy like that. They never got the chance.
Giles? fist flew out and connected with the principal?s already broken nose. He smiled a very "Ripperish" smile as the man howled in pain and dropped like a stone. "You will never address my slayer in such a distasteful manner again. In fact, you will never address her again - period. I want you out of Sunnydale by daybreak, that is if you live long enough to make it home."
Giles looked off into the distance where he knew there was a group of vampires who had watched the fight between Angel and Spike. They were still there, and now fully informed of just who and what Robin was. He doubted very much that the man had a hope in hell of defending himself.
Giles led Buffy back into the shop and the others followed. As Xander passed Cordelia she placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "The same thing I said to him," she pointed to the bleeding man on the sidewalk, "goes for you, as well - both of you. I don't want Connor hurt." Spike growled at her, but Xander merely nodded. "Not a problem. We don't want him hurt either."
~!~
Angel was still processing the fact that his son was apparently gay, living with two men - one of them a vampire - and had been claimed by Spike, willingly. It was a hard pill to swallow, seeing as Connor hated him because he was a vampire. He just didn't understand why Spike was accepted and he wasn't - and he said as much to Connor.
"Because Spike isn't like you. You were cursed with a soul, a soul you didn't want, and every time it goes away you turn into a monster. Spike asked for his soul. His demon wanted it. I know that he can't lose it, but that even if he did, he would still love me. He would still love Xander, and he would still fight for the good side. He is a demon, but he isn't just a demon. Even without his soul."
They were back at the shop by this time and Angel was saddened by the fact that this was the longest, least hostile conversation he had ever shared with his son, and now it would be over. He would have to go back to L.A., and Connor would stay here, in Sunnydale, with Xander and Spike. The question was, would he see him again?
~!~
Connor entered the shop alone and went directly toward his two lovers. He quietly told them that Angel was outside and wished to speak to Spike. Spike nodded, kissed Connor and Xander and then went out to meet his sire. Xander took Connor in his arms and together they waited for Spike to come back in.
Buffy and Giles were in the back room of the shop, Willow and Kennedy had gone on patrol, and Cordelia and Fred sat at the table waiting for Angel to come back. Every now and then, one or the other would look over at Connor and then look away again. Eventually, Connor rolled his eyes and went to sit with them. "What?"
Cordelia looked Connor over and then offered him a genuine smile. "I'm glad you have a place where you?re happy, people who love and accept you. I just... I'm going to miss you." Fred smiled at him and then spoke up as well. "Me too. I, I realise we didn't always get on so well, but I'll miss you, too."
Xander overheard the conversation and went to stand behind Connor's chair. He placed his hands on his shoulders in support. Connor took in the sincere expressions on their faces and sighed. "I'll keep in touch."
~!~
Part 20
Spike and Angel walked in silence for awhile. They could smell fresh blood in the air - Spike knew it was Robin's but wasn't about to tell Angel that; soul or not, he wanted that piece of shit dead. Eventually they wound up at a park and both sat at opposite sides of a picnic table. Spike waited for Angel to speak.
With a deep, unneeded breath, Angel looked over at his childe and sighed. "Why Connor?"
It wasn't the question Spike was expecting, but nonetheless, he answered it. "Because he's Connor. He's special, Angelus. I wouldn't risk my relationship with Xander for just anyone. He fits with us - he's one of us." Spike thought for a minute and then looked at Angel inquiringly. "He ever tell you about his life in Quortoth?"
"Some. Not much. I know that it wasn't easy, but he never discusses it with me, just mentions things in passing once in awhile. Why?" Angel watched as Spike shook his head slowly, and then looked up at him with pain-filled eyes.
"He was raised in hell, Angel. By a man who hated you more than anyone. How do think he was treated? Do you think Holtz loved him? 'Cause if you do, you're a bigger fool than I ever pegged you for. He was abused, Angel. Maybe not physically, but mentally. Emotionally? He?s more screwed up than I am, and I was raised by you!"
"Tell me? I know so little about my own son. Not a day goes by that I don't regret losing him, that I don't wish I could go back and do it over." Angel ducked his head and wiped surreptitiously at his eyes. Spike pretended not to notice.
"What? You want all the grizzly details? No, not going there. I'll tell you about other things though, shall I? How about how he loves to watch cartoons with Xan on Saturday mornings, or that his favourite food is bacon and tomato sandwiches, but only if I make them ?cause Xan always overcooks the bacon. You want to know how good a job he does at work? That he was put on permanent crew after only a week? He's a good boy, Angel. A good man."
Angel looked up at Spike and smiled. "Thank you for telling me that. But you do know that if you hurt him, I will kill you. Soul or not." Angel?s eyes flashed yellow and Spike nodded.
"Fair enough, but don't count on that ever happening. I've always been loyal to my lovers, Angel; you know that. Looked after Dru for a century, and she was the one who left me." Spike knew he'd made his point when Angel nodded once and stood.
"Well, I better get going if I'm going to make it back to L.A. before dawn."
Spike watched as Angel strode away with his shoulders slouched in defeat. He snorted to himself in disgust over what he was about to do. "Angel, wait up." Spike jogged to catch up to his sire and put his hand on the older vampire's shoulder. "I'll keep you updated, alright. Never know, maybe someday he'll forgive you."
"No. He won't. But thank you." Angel threw his arm over Spike's shoulders as they walked. "So, you got yourself a soul, why?" Spike chuckled and shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
~!~
It was almost daylight by the time the trio got home. Xander unlocked the door and they all trudged inside. No one was up to doing anything more than crawling into bed and sleeping the day away. Once they were all comfortably ensconced in the large bed - Spike in his preferred spot in the middle - they relaxed.
After the L.A. contingent had gone back to L.A. and Willow and Kennedy had returned from patrol, the four original scooby-gang members filed into the back room to talk. They emerged sometime later, red-eyed and puffy, but definitely happier than they had been going in. Both Spike and Connor - thanks to enhanced hearing - knew that Buffy had apologised for her recent behaviour, and that the others had forgiven her. Xander made a joke about Buffy's taste in men being worse than his taste in clothing and Willow cheekily offered to "gay her up" as well.
Now everything seemed to be getting back to normal, well Sunnydale normal, anyway. Connor told Spike about his conversation with Cordy and Fred and asked if he was doing the right thing by keeping in touch with them. Spike had assured him that he was, and told him about his conversation with Angel.
As he lay in bed between his lovers, Spike had to wonder what had happened between Connor and Angel, either before he had gotten there or after they had gone off to talk. He never would have expected his sire to leave the boy here in his and Xander's care. Knowing that he wasn't going to sleep until he knew, Spike sat up slightly and nudged Connor lightly. "What did you say to Angel to convince him to leave you here with us?"
Xander was curious to know this as well, and rolled onto his side hooking his chin over Spike's shoulder and draping his arm around his waist. "Yeah, I'd kinda like to know that, too. Deadboy never seemed the accepting type to me."
Connor rolled over to face the two men who had become his world. He smiled at then and then lowered his eyes before speaking. "I told him the truth. That I was happy here, that I loved you - both of you, and that you loved me. I told him that I had finally found what I had been looking for."
Spike lifted Connor's chin and looked into his eyes. "And what was that, love?"
"A place to call home. People who wanted me, who understood me - who gave me their kindness, their love and acceptance."
Cool lips pressed to warm as Connor was enfolded by two sets of arms - one cool and one warm. He sighed as the cool lips moved away only to smile as they were replaced by warm ones. Hands trailed lightly over his skin and he returned the caresses.
Soft touches and kisses turned harder as comfort turned to passion. Connor found himself pulled on top of Spike's cool body as Xander moved in behind him. He gasped into Spike's mouth as Xander's slick finger breached him. He felt Spike's hard cock brushing against his own and thrust himself against it.
Xander spread both Connor and Spike?s legs and knelt between them. He finished preparing Connor and then slid his still slick fingers into Spike and readied him as well. When he was sure they were both stretched and slippery, he quickly rolled a condom over his erection and then slid into Connor in one smooth stroke.
Spike canted his hips and reached between him and Connor; grabbing the hot, hard length of Connor's erection, he guided it to his hole. "Hurry love, I need you in me." His eyes rolled back in his head as he was split open by incredible heat. He loved the feeling of being stretched and filled by his lovers; they felt so good and hot inside of him.
Connor stilled and panted harshly in Spike's ear as Xander slowly withdrew from him; then pushed back in almost savagely. He picked up Xander's rhythm, and then they were all moving together fluidly.
Xander sped up his thrusts and cried out as he climaxed. He withdrew from Connor's body and rolled to the side and just watched as Connor continued to thrust into Spike. He could see how close Spike was as he shifted faces, so he reached between them and stroked the vampire?s cock. Spike howled and erupted over Xander's hand just before Connor shuddered and came as well.
Xander got up and headed for the bathroom. He cleaned himself up and then returned to his lovers with a wet cloth. He cleaned them both as well and then tossed the cloth into the hamper. He climbed back into bed and snuggled down in the middle of the bed. He stuck his tongue out at Spike when he grumbled about being moved to the side.
Xander pulled Connor close to him and kissed him. "I love you. I'm glad you're here." Connor smiled and kissed him back. "I love you, too." Spike pouted and feigned a hurtful expression. "Doesn't anyone love me?"
Xander and Connor looked at each other, smiled, and then reached for Spike. They pulled him over Xander and into the middle of the bed. They both kissed him until the pout disappeared and then snuggled down on his chest. Xander yawned and then sleepily replied, "I will always love you, Spike." Connor lifted his head slightly and looked at the vampire's smiling face. "Me too."
Spike closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his beautiful boys. He thought about what Connor had said. Kindness, love and acceptance; he had always wanted that, too - had thought he'd never find it. Then Xander had fallen in love with him and given him more than he had ever thought possible. Now, now he was doubly blessed. He vowed to make sure his lovers always knew they were loved, that he loved them. With that thought in mind, Spike finally relaxed and fell asleep to the soft snoring sounds coming from the two men sleeping on his chest.
~!~
THE END