Fic: Listening To The Radio

Author: norgco

Pairing: Xander/Faith

Rating: Pg

Summary: Faith thinks about her life and Xander while listening to an old song

Disclaimer: I own none of it, it's all Joss

Listening To The Radio
by norgco

`Killing me softly' was playing on the alarm radio as she woke up. Faith was not a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination, and the old song cut right through her and her mood.

"…killing me softly,
with his song,
telling my whole life,
with his words,
killing me softly,
with his song…"

And the thing was that he hadn't actually said much, he just came to her room and asked to hear her side of the story. She had been so tempted to just scream at him and threaten him, because the pain of being who she had always been had to be less than the pain of admitting she hated it. But it sank in that he was serious, he thought they had a connection, those brown puppy dog eyes looked at her and felt like a knife cutting in.

"..I prayed the he would finish,
but he just kept right on,
Strumming my fate with his fingers,
telling my life with his words,.
Killing me softly with his song…"

It would have been so easy to just strangle him or something, to not admit to him, or herself, what really happened. How alone she felt, how alone she had always felt, how she used other peoples bodies for release because she could forget, for a while. Turning he hatred of herself around and firing it at others was an old habit, but she just couldn't. Angel had arrived to find her in such an emotional turmoil that she could barely function, with the so called Zeppo holding her as she cried.

"Faith, are you ok?" The voice from beside her was full of concern. She snuggled up tight to him and kissed him. Then she pulled the covers back over them and settled in to go back to sleep, never relaxing the hold very much.

"Fine, just thinking."

"I try not to do that myself Faith, it makes my brain hurt."

"Xman, don't ever change."

"Not planning on it." The sober Harris announced. "Except maybe I'd like to not be poor eventually. Hope you can survive that."

"I'll put up with it somehow boytoy." The sound of the radio was the only noise in the room for a few seconds. "So, wanna fuck?"

"I thought you'd never ask."