Title: Lola

Author: meagan

Summary: My own private bizarro 'verse. Oz and Willow follow through on that cat thing from "First Steps." Yes, finally, another piece in my unnamed Xander/Scott Evil series (I didn't abandon it. I just couldn't think of what to do next. And now this has happened. And I still need a name for the series).

Spoilers: If you've read the rest of this series, none. This is happening during an alternate S4, so high school is no longer an issue, in case anyone was wondering about that. Pretty much nothing from S4 that hasn't already happened in this series will happen (translation: "Wild at Heart" doesn't exist in this 'verse. I'm still trying to decide whether to deal with you-know-who from "Pangs"). And this is after the story "The Next Step," but I'm not sure if the events that immediately follow that one will ever be written, so just assume things were dealt with and that the guys moved past that issue.

Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, the Sunnydale Gang belongs to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot. Oh, and Scott Evil belongs to, um, Jay Roach, Mike Myers, and the production companies of Eric's Boy, Team Todd, and Moving Pictures (and distributed by New Line, in case that matters).

Rating: I'm pretty sure this is a nice, solid G.

Distribution: List archives, where applicable. Otherwise, please ask. It will eventually end up at http://www.geocities.com/meaganola

Feedback: Lets me know someone read this thing. Really, nowadays, it lets me know that it made it to the list.

If you want to hear it, call your local classic rock station. Or, better yet, buy a Kinks album.

Extra note: I had a bizarre dream last night. At least I *think* and *hope* it was a dream. Someone had written a bunch of Xander/Scott Evil fic and posted it on every list I was on. It was really freaky, and it disturbed me to a degree I hadn't imagined possible. So I decided this was a sign that I needed to write this piece that has been rolling around in my head for a while.

Yet another note: Yes, I am very much in favor of spaying and neutering animals. But sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control that prevents this from happening. I have the proof of this chasing kibble around my kitchen and watching me type at this very moment.

LOLA

By Meagan

Xander was happy. It had been a warm, lazy afternoon. He had absolutely nothing to do. Scott was out running a few fun personal errands like a trip to the dentist and the barber, and Xander stayed home because, well, he hadn't had nothing to do in a very long time. No housework, no homework, no laundry, no research, and no favors to do for anyone. So he was napping in the warmth of the sun.

Suddenly, a small, light object landed on his stomach. The object was *moving*. And then small, sharp *things* gripped his abdomen. "What the --" The small, sharp things withdrew, and small, *soft* things began... kneading. He sighed. This couldn't be a dream. He never spent this much time trying to figure things out in his dreams. He opened his eyes.

And saw a small black and white ball of fluff trying to force his stomach to provide it with milk.

"That is Lola."

Xander carefully attempted to sit up, careful not to disturb the tiny feline as his brain slowly registered that it was very definitely no longer afternoon. "'That?' Don't you mean 'she?'"

Willow shrugged. "We couldn't figure out if it was a he or a she."

"Um, okay." So her offhand comment at the Bronze was for real. As the organism in question repositioned itself on his stomach, he watched her help Oz and Scott fill the living room with *things*. Litter box, food, toys, a spray bottle, treats, a scratching post... He hadn't realized how much *stuff* cat ownership involved. "So you picked out the name?"

She shook her head. "Oz, of course." She sat down on the edge of the couch, skritching the newest member of the Scooby gang behind its ears.

"He just kept singing that song when we were trying to decide if this thing's a boy or a girl."

Confused, he searched his memory for lyrics. "'Her name was Lola/ She was a showgirl?' You named our cat after a Barry --"

Before he could utter the last name, she covered his mouth. "No. And never say that name in my presence." He nodded, and she removed her hand, moving to the pile of cat accessories forming in the middle of the room. "Hey, Oz, play him that song."

Grinning, Oz pulled a cd from one of the bags. "'Girls will be boys and boys will be girls.' So either way, we're okay." He dropped the cd into the player, and the room was filled with music.

Xander finally pulled himself out of his sprawled position, sitting up so he could cradle the kitten in his arms. Scott sat beside him and handed over a bottle -- an extremely downsized version of a baby bottle. "The mom's dead, but this critter hasn't been weaned. So we're going to have to treat the kit like a kid for a while." Scott smiled as Xander attempted to juggle their new pet and the bottle in an attempt to find a workable position. "Here, let me help?" He took the bottle from Xander. The kitten really seemed to like Xander, and Scott wanted the larger man to get used to handling the small animal for a while.

Finally, Xander managed to get Lola in a position both of them could handle: smaller mammal face- and belly-up in the crook of the elbow of the larger mammal. Instead of handing the bottle back over, though, Scott sat as close to Xander as possible, reaching across both of the humans' bodies and inserting the bottle nipple in the kitten's mouth. S/he -- they still weren't too sure if they had a girl or a boy -- batted at the plastic for about two seconds before lapsing into content sucking. "So how do you know the mom's dead? Couldn't she be hiding somewhere? It might scare her when she comes back and finds her baby gone."

"No, she was kind of my cat." A shadow crossed Oz's face. Josie the Pussycat (as his mother had dubbed the feline) had been a neighborhood fixture for years. No one owned her, and no one could ever get close enough to her to capture her and take her to the vet for spaying purposes. She had even managed to elude the traps that had been set for her. But she didn't cause any harm. In fact, the only times anyone was aware of her presence were because she was calling attention to a threat to one of the human children she liked to watch, like the time a stranger had tried to kidnap Oz himself. Her howling had notified Oz's parents *and* frightened the man away from the child. So she was not actively chased,and Oz watched over her as she had over him. "She had the kittens under one of our shrubs. We hadn't realized that's where they were until we heard this dog trying to attack them." Willow squeezed his arm. She had heard this story many times over the pasat few weeks. In fact, she had been the one to discover what was happening. "Josie fought him, but he mauled her before I could shoot him."

"Shoot him?" Xander's head jerked up. "You mean kill him?"

Willow shook her head. "No. Trank gun. We got him, but it was too late for Josie. But he ended up having to be put to sleep anyway. There had been some attacks in the neighborhood, and it was him. As it turned out, he was rabid, too." She shuddered at the memory. The whole episode had been extremely hard on Oz -- losing his beloved more-or-less pet *and* having to be involved in killing another animal. But on the up side, he was considered a neighborhood hero for saving others from future attacks by the dog. "So. Anyway. Kittens, no mom, needing constant care." She grinned. "And of course we thought of you guys."

"Of course." But Xander's voice had a clearly distracted quality to it, obvious to anyone who wasn't him or Scott. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, kitten in his arms, Scott more or less wrapped around his body, before he realized the kitten had stopped nursing and had fallen asleep. In his arms. When he looked up and around the room, it occurred to him that Oz and Willow had silently vacated the premises, leaving him alone with Scott and their new pet. The creature that they were handling as if it was their child. Not just his child, but his child with Scott.

And he was really enjoying that feeling.

"Xander?" Scott's index finger was gently rubbing Lola's belly.

The brunette shifted, lifting his arm and resting it along Scott's shoulders. "Hmm?"

"I was just thinking." Now Scott adjusted himself, settling into place under Xander's arm. "You know, there were two kittens."

"Yeah?" He had a feeling he knew where the occasional redhead was going with this.

"Yeah." They both grinned as Lola yawned, stretched, and settled back in place. And began purring contentedly. "So what do you say to taking the other one off Oz's hands, too?"

"Gee, let's think this over." Xander frowned thoughtfully, as if this was taking a great deal of thought. "We're already going to be spending a lot of time taking care of one cat, and a second would mean something like fifteen extra minutes a day. We already have all the toys. They can entertain each other when we're not around. And they can entertain us by playing with each other. Twist my arm."

Scott grinned and poked Xander in the stomach with the hand that had been making the kitten very happy. "You make it sound like an incredibly hard decision." He shifted, lifting a hand to lace his fingers with Xander's and settling his head on Xander's shoulder. "So that's a yes?

"Yeah."

"Good."

Xander traced along the edge of the white splotch on the furry belly before him. "So. What's the other one look like? Do we need to think up a name?"

"It's a brown tabby, and the name's Spot. Oz suggested Rico, to go with Lola, but Willow told him to have a pleasant evening by himself if that was the final verdict."

"Spot." Scott nodded. "For a striped cat. Let me guess. Oz again."

"Nope. I came up with that. But I'm flattered you thought it's something Oz would do." Scott was silent for a long moment, watching the newest member of what they both now realized was their family, before speaking again. "So. It's late. Does this one get access to the bedroom?"

~~~ the end ~~~