Title: Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Author: Buddy

Pairing: Spike/Xander, references to Xander/Anya and Spike/Buffy

Rating: NC17

Disclaimer: The characters in this story remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox and related production companies. This is purely for entertainment; I make no monies from it.

Summary: Angst, fluff, sex and chocolate.

Authors Note: This is another Homeward Bound snippet set in the short period before the Scoobies found out about Spike and Xander being together. Here’s a short rundown of what you need to know if you haven’t read the series:

The two of them got together shortly after Hell’s Bells, the chip doesn’t go off if Spike doesn’t intend any harm and he’s Marked Xander with a Claim. They share blood on occasion but there is no blood play in this chapter.

Beta Reader: Many thanks to stir_of_echoes who’s not only a kick-ass beta but also makes writing more pleasurable.

Dedication: This is for mys1985 because she makes such wonderful icons and gives them away. I hope you like it honey.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen
by Buddy
~*~

It was fortunate that the warm breeze dried up the waxy sheen of sweat on his brow and upper lip each time it wafted across his face, because he didn’t think he could move from the fierce heat of the late morning sun.

He rarely sat out here alone and almost never in the daytime. But he was here now, and it wasn’t owing to the fact that the air conditioning in the bedroom was on the fritz or that the closeness of Spike’s body, however cool, added to heat induced claustrophobia.

Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that Willow had said she and Tara might come over and he wanted to avoid them. He loved Willow and everything but she couldn’t compete with Spike’s tousled hair or ass raised heavenwards as he lay sprawled across their bed. Xander had simply left him to marinade in the heat whilst he’d gone in search of a much-needed drink.

Cubic zirconium separated sunlight into the colours of the spectrum; it reflected in rainbows either side of his bare feet each time he tilted the tiny figure back and forth. It looked like Tinkerbell and although it hadn’t broken his bank balance when he’d bought it, it managed to fall on the right side of tacky.

Anya had frowned at it at first, not thrown by the gesture but the object itself. Whilst she had examined it closely her eyes had softened in pleased surprise and then filled with tears when he fastened it around her neck.

"I know, it’s kinda childish but I thought …"

"No! No, Xander … it’s lovely it’s ... it’s … *childlike*."

After that she’d only taken it off to shower and on the morning of their intended wedding, when she’d exchanged it for pearls.

He’d found it wedged under the bottom of the fridge after stubbing his toe on a protruding wing. He smiled sadly at the throb that persisted even though the blood had long since dried; maybe *Tinkerbell* was a Vengeance demon, she always had seemed kinda pissy.

It would be just like Anya to put it there on purpose, to punish him with a token of his love, to remind him just how much he’d screwed everything up.

He knew he deserved far worse.

He didn’t regret Anya, just the way he had handled everything and for a couple of seconds of intense longing, he missed her like he never had *anything* else.

He took a gulp of orange juice and lifted his face to the sky so the passing eddy of air could dry the resulting sticky moustache. It was a childish pleasure that he and Willow had discovered together one hot and breezy summer afternoon just after they had finished kindergarten. He licked it away just as his stomach growled; cereal or Spike?

"Come inside Love; you know I can’t get to you out there."

Spike was standing away from the doorframe, mindful of the patch of sunlight that stopped on the carpet about two feet inside. Xander squinted up at him, the sun obscuring his view but not so much that he couldn’t appreciate the entire lack of clothing draped around broad shoulders and biteable hips.

"Hey Spike; I was just *thinking* about breakfast."

"Well if it’s going to put that expression on your face, I suggest you give it up and invent a new
mealtime."

Xander screwed up his face and shook his head.

"Nah, I was just thinking, period."

"Come inside, I’ll make you something."

Xander stood up, Spike’s request had freed him from his strange stasis and the offer of food was simply too good to resist. He looked at the necklace one more time; he’d give it to Willow just in case Anya asked about it. He was halfway through the balcony door before the front door was rapped in familiar staccato. He hopped forward and grabbed Spike around the waist pulling him backwards and plush to his chest; then he put his lips to his ear.

"Shush. It’s probably Willow. Let’s pretend we’re not in and that you weren’t about to answer the door naked," he whispered.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"Sorry, it’s Anya’s, I found it earlier." Xander put it on the counter top and then folded his arms around Spike’s middle again.

Spike leaned back and wriggled until he was comfortable; the silky fabric of Xander’s shorts
failed to provide any real friction but Spike’s sliding about trying to find some did interesting
things to their contents.

"Stop it," Xander whispered, his tone undermining his words.

"Take ’em off, they’re only a distraction."

"And me taking my shorts off *isn’t* a distraction?" Xander whispered fiercely. "And keep your voice down they’ll hear you."

He pushed them down and stepped out of them just as the door was knocked again. Spike could easily make out the words that their would-be visitors were exchanging.

"Are you sure? Maybe you have the wrong day."

"No, I have the right *day*. It wasn’t a definite date though. More of a vague ‘I might pop by’ kinda thing."

"Ok, we should go."

"Xander never goes out on a Sunday; not since him and Anya … you know. He sits in with Spike watching bad soap operas, not that there are any good soap operas, and," her voice dropped to a whisper. "I think it involves a beer fest and inebriation issues. This one time, Xander told me that he picked Spike’s blood up by accident and …"

Spike stifled a snort of laughter; if only she knew the reason he’d hated it was because it was pig’s blood and not vintage vampire 1880.

"Well it *is* a nice day, who would want to stay indoors? Come on, I’ll buy you a milkshake, or
*coffee* and then I can take you to the park and watch you run around."

Spike didn’t catch all of Willow’s disgruntled reply, only the expletives and the sound of hers and Tara’s rescinding footsteps. He turned in Xander’s arms and planted a clumsy smacker on his lips.

"What’s Red done to you then?"

"Nothin’. But if I was to let her in then you’d have to get dressed and that would be a crime. I don’t like involving Willow in crime."

Xander ran lazy hands up and down Spike’s back. Not hard enough to massage muscle but with enough pressure to trace their definition. He swept over the curve of his ass and ran his fingers across the patch of skin that joined them to his thighs.

"I’m hungry. You said you’d make me breakfast."

"I did? I did. Well that was before there were distractions. Full body contact for example," he said
whilst roving his hands up the backs of Xander’s thighs to his ass.

He repositioned him so that certain body parts would fit more comfortably in the hollow next to Xander’s left hip.

"And this is a problem you can’t solve? You’re fired!"

Spike, who was currently licking his way around the rim of Xander’s ear, broke off his occupation to cock his head and raise an eyebrow.

"In that case I’d better collect my cards and all my … *earnings*."

His pupils dilated and his bottom lip dropped slightly. Xander didn’t need a second invitation and
he leaned forward to capture it, sucking softly and nibbling gently before opening his mouth to let
Spike’s questing tongue inside.

Slim fingers carded through sweat soaked follicles, and work calloused fingers parted bed-induced curls as the two of them deepened the kiss. Xander adjusted Spike’s adjustment and slowly rocked his hips, rubbing his cock up and down Spike’s still expanding length.

He allowed his fingers to dance across sinew and rippling muscle before denying them their prize and switching to thumbs that he brushed lightly over soft areola. Against his directive, rebellious fingers joined his thumbs to pinch nipples to pert attention. Spike enjoyed the results of their mutiny.

He held on to Xander’s thighs and rocked against him more steadily as he leaned forward. Trapping Xander’s fingers between their chests when he claimed another kiss, he sensed the patch of sunlight moving closer and inched them both further away from the door without breaking contact.

Xander trailed his lips across hard cheekbone to Spike’s earlobe. He sucked it into his mouth and
nipped at it before letting it go so he could lick a path down the side of Spike’s throat to the hollow
below his Adam’s apple. Spike sighed his pleasure and tensed his legs as the slow roll of orgasm started to radiate from his balls.

"Xander …"

Xander dug his fingers into the sides of Spike’s waist and rubbed harder against him. Precum oozed and mingled, easing the movement of straining cocks. Glans’ bumped intermittently and the friction on cock ridges created tiny explosions of ever-increasing bliss.

"Come with me," Xander commanded, shooting come over both of them, and thrusting capriciously until Spike let go in surrender.

They slumped against one another, exchanging sweet sloppy kisses for whispered words of endearment. Sporting sore lips and stubble rash, Spike bent down to pick up Xander’s shorts and proceeded to wipe both of them down. He took his time, his eyes barely leaving Xander’s except when he gave into temptation and stole another kiss.

"Me like," Xander said, "there is no bad here. In fact, I thank you for sharing your severance package with me."

He grinned, suddenly remembering. "You promised me food."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Pet but you fired me; you’ll have get your own soddin’ breakfast."

Xander pouted.

"Forget it; that only works if you’re me."

"But you forgot something; you didn’t collect your bonus."

Spike moved toward him but only managed to kiss the air where Xander had been standing before he extricated himself from Spike's arms.

"Where’re you going?"

"Back to bed."

"What about my bonus?"

"If you’re not going to work the rest of your last shift, I’m afraid I’ll have no choice but to withhold the rest of your dues."

There was only silence coming from the den whilst Xander dumped the comforter on the floor and lay down. Then he could hear cupboard doors opening and closing and Spike rustling around in the fridge. He closed his eyes; maybe he had time for a nap before the smell of cooking woke him up.

Spike leaped on the bed at the side of him. Xander opened a baleful eye and raised an eyebrow at what Spike was holding.

"That’s not healthy breakfast food."

"Well *you* must think so, it’s all there is ... You haven’t been shopping remember, just picked up
m’smokes and beer and chocolate on the way home from the Magic Box, you know the important stuff."

"Is it my fault that we’ve had to go there every night for the last four nights?"

"I’m more inclined to blame Alexander Graham Bell." Xander waited for an explanation to the latest loop he’d thrown him. "Well, if he hadn’t invented the bloody telephone, your Scooby pals wouldn’t be able to get you all hours of the day and night."

"Wasn’t *he* English?" Xander asked him, as if that explained everything.

"Scots actually; what does that have to do with it?"

"I’m just saying, annoying English … ok British guys in my life. Throw Giles in the mix - and bearing in mind that now he has to hassle me *over* the telephone - I’d say we have a theme. ... Spike what are you doing?"

"Two birds, one stone. This way you get something to eat and I don’t have to wait to pick up my bonus." He was balancing chocolate, a square on his forehead and then another one on his chin and throat.

"That’s Cadbury’s Dairy Milk; you’re playing with seriously classy chocolate there pal. Ok I forgive *Giles* for being British; did I tell you that he also sent me some Marston's Pedigree? I thought at first it was bitter but I think it’s some wacky English hors d’oeuvre; it has chewy bits. It tastes better when you drink it cold."

Spike rolled his eyes at him. "I don’t normally have to try this hard."

Xander grinned. "Can’t have you getting too cocky," he said, as Spike placed a piece on each nipple. "Say, is that for me?"

He lunged forward and the first three pieces were gone before Spike could blink an eye. When he did though it was a lazy closing of his lids that made Xander want to kiss them in turn. But he had chocolate issues right now, in that he had a mouth full of the stuff.

Spike looked at him innocently and put a strip of three squares on his belly button. Xander groaned and moved toward it but Spike stopped him and liberated one nipple as chocolate fell on the bed.

"Sorry, if you don’t pass go you don’t collect two hundred quid mate. I believe there’s a couple of
stopping off points on the way down there."

Xander swallowed chocolate quickly. "Oh you mean like here," He pressed his lips to Spike’s forehead before kissing both of his eyelids in turn. "And here," He kissed his mouth but moved his lips to his chin before Spike could respond.

"Kiss me," Spike demanded.

"Mmm, liking your bonus so far huh?"

"You taste of chocolate," he said as if that was the only reason.

Xander kissed him; his lips parted slightly until Spike pushed his tongue past them and sought out
traces of chocolate from inside of his cheeks and across his tongue. Xander pulled back and eyed him speculatively.

"You’re a closet chocoholic," he accused.

"I might be. But don’t tell anyone; I’m not ready to come out yet."

"Dork."

"Kiss me."

"*Yes*, puhleeze."

Xander reached for Spike’s bottom lip and pressed it softly between his own lips, sucking and nibbling it until it swelled. He kissed a hard trail from his throat to his collarbone, and then sliding his tongue over Spike’s pecs to his nipples, mouthed the chocolate that still rested there precariously, and swirled it over and around his nipples bringing them to stiff peaks.

Spike carded his fingers through Xander’s hair, "Now you’re gettin’ it," he whispered.

Xander licked and nibbled his way down to the chocolate squares resting on Spike’s navel. He dug around them with his lips and tongue until he could get purchase and then swiped them. He looked up at Spike, who was lying with his eyes closed, a small frown between his brows and a big smile on his lips.

"Know what tastes good with chocolate?" He said, his voice muffled. "You do."

He took Spike’s newly awakened erection into his mouth and Spike moaned whilst Xander coated his cock in chocolate and then whimpered when he started to lick it off.

"Wait, Xander stop a minute, oh … no, stop."

Xander raised his left eyebrow as he looked up at him and it occurred to Spike just how much he was influencing Xander’s body language these days.

"I want to come inside you."

"But you’re covered in chocolate."

"We can call it my ‘Golden Handshake’, beats a carriage clock any day."

He rolled over, taking Xander with him and pushed his legs back toward his chest. He broke off a large piece of chocolate, rolled it around his mouth until it was soft and then slowly pushed it into Xander’s irising hole. He chased it with his tongue; pushing it in as far as he was able to, Xander’s whispered gasps eventually overcome by breathy words of encouragement.

Spike entered him with a heavy exhalation of breath. Steadying himself on his knees with his hands on the bed, either side of Xander’s waist, he watched in trembling anticipation as Xander raised himself up on his elbows.

"You ok, Love?"

Xander tensed his inner muscles around Spike’s cock and closed his eyes momentarily at the satisfying sensation of being filled.

"I’m more than ok Spike; could you fuck me already?"

Spike pulled nearly all the way out and pushed back in again. He repeated the same agonising slow thrust until Xander started to whimper. Xander ran his hand up and over his cock and started to toss himself whilst he watched Spike watching him. It had the desired effect and Spike started to thrust more rapidly.

Spike almost lost it when Xander pushed his hand between the two of them and over his balls. He tugged hard on his scrotum and then lightly ran over his testicles before tossing himself harder and rocking upwards to meet Spike’s thrusts.

Spike loved to see the look on Xander’s face when he was pleasuring himself. He’d watched him repeatedly and he knew exactly what he liked and how to replicate it. How hard to squeeze or press, how far to pull the skin back and how much more sensitive Xander’s cock was than his own.

Spike ploughed into him, relishing the warmth and the contraction of muscles that surrounded him. Hearing Xander’s pleas as they urged him on made him impossibly harder; he spilled deep inside him as an orgasm rippled through his lower body.

When he shuddered and wrung out his last, Xander moaned his name, so very close to the edge. Spike reached down and put his hand over Xander’s, increasing the pressure and then dropping his mouth to his for a kiss.

Xander moaned into Spike’s mouth as he came and little shocks of pleasure from Xander’s fluttering insides rode up and down Spike’s cock.

Spike sagged forward and buried his head in the hollow of Xander’s neck and shoulder. Panting despite himself, he wondered if now might be a good time to bring up Xander’s Mark and the small matter of the fact he’d run out of blood.

"Forget it Blondie, at least until I’ve had something real to eat."

Spike groaned and withdrew his cock. Trying his hardest not to notice they would have to wash the sheets and shower fairly soon, he collapsed at Xander’s side.

"I didn’t say a word."

Xander rolled on his side to face him and pressed his palm to the side of Spike’s face. "You don’t have to, I’m not stupid, I know you haven’t eaten. And that sex makes you think of feeding more than anything else in the world."

Spike put his arm around Xander’s waist and his leg over his hip.

"I love you."

"Really?"

"You know I do."

"In that case you won’t mind cooking the bacon that you pretended not to see when you raided the fridge for chocolate."

Spike grinned. "Yeah, I never realised that hiding food could be so much fun." He leaned forward and kissed him ... "You didn’t have to send the Witches away on my account you know, although on second thoughts, genius plan … you know what I mean. We could always tell the others, get it over and done with."

"We will, soon ... Spike, do you ever miss Buffy?"

"No."

"No? Just like that. You didn’t even think about it."

"I don’t need to, already have."

"*I* missed Anya. Only for a minute but I … I didn’t think it could ever be that painful again. I love *you*; it felt weird to miss her so much."

"It’s different for you; Buffy never loved me, not really and I don’t have happy memories like you do with Anya, not the important stuff anyway. Plus, Buffy’s still around, it’s not like she upped and left Sunnydale. She’s still here, constantly ignoring me, acting as though nothing ever happened. I like the consistency; it makes a guy feel special. "

"Would you miss her if she did?"

"Pretty much everyday. Just like *you* would and *not* because I’m pining for her." Spike pulled Xander closer. "The fairy brought this on, yeah?" Xander looked at him in awe.

"*I* have a job opening if you’re interested."

"We’ll have to discuss terms but as it happens I was just fired so I can start straight away."

"You cook the bacon and I’ll change the bed."

"Sod that I was gonna shag you again."

"Ok then, you’re hired."

Fin.