Title: No! But? Bollocks!

Author: Margie

Rating: NC-17 (for the naughty sex parts)

Pairing: Xander/Spike

Spoilers: None really.

Summary: Another sequel in my Who? What? Huh? Series. This follows How? Why? Bloody Hell, Yes!. X/S are married and still fighting the good fight.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all, damn him!

No! But? Bollocks!

by Margie

Chapter 1 - A Routine Patrol

They were making a final circuit when a cry pierced the silence. At first, Xander wasn't sure what direction the sound was coming from, but when Spike broke into a run he followed without question. They barreled through the cemetery, jumping the waist high, ivy covered wall without breaking stride, and came upon a gruesome sight.

Before he could stop himself Xander was bent over and heaving, the contents of his stomach roiling and pitching until they were freed. In a nauseous haze he heard his mate roar and enter the fray. Unwilling to let Spike fight without backup, Xander pulled himself together and moved forward, his right hand bringing up the axe he habitually hefted.

He tried not to look at the remains, tried not to hear the cries from the huddled mass to his left. They were safe enough for now, the car doors once again shut tight, the locks engaged. Although he made sure to station himself close enough to the automobile to render assistance if necessary.

Xander hovered anxiously on the sides watching for any break in the fight. Any help his lover might need. There were two demons circling Spike. They were of a kind Xander didn't recognize; large, red, and glistening with some type of ichor that coated their skins, but no horns, or tails, or other otherworldly appendages. But their eyes were completely black, all pupil, and their faces were elongated, as if someone had pinched the tops of their heads and then pulled their chins down as far as they could go.

"Don't let them touch you, luv!" Spike shouted a warning. "That slime's like acid. It'll burn right through you."

Xander made an 'ewww' face but nodded. "Be careful!" Xander held his breath as he watched Spike dance around the demons, his long black duster flapping behind him.

Then suddenly one of the demons charged straight at Spike, the other came from the left. Xander knew Spike couldn't escape both demon attacks at once, so he made his own move. Rushing forward, he came from the demon's blind side. His axe high, he let it slice through the air, the demon's own momentum eased the blade's entry and Xander was splattered with black ooze as the demon's head fell to the ground.

Ignoring the dripping fluid, Xander glanced up quickly to see Spike kick the other demon in the face. The monster fell backwards, but quickly came back up on his knees. Unfortunately for him, Spike had already maneuvered himself behind the unlucky demon, his arms encircling the impossibly shaped head and twisting. Xander heard the snap as its neck broke, and he watched with satisfaction as Spike dropped the demon back to the ground.

It was only then that the cries from the car broke through his battle haze. Spike was by his side before Xander could stand and make his way back toward the vehicle. "Are you okay, luv? Did you get any of the red ichor on you?" Spike was checking his mate for injuries as he spoke.

"Nah. Just blood, I think. It's blood right? Tell me it's blood," Xander babbled, not wanting to think about what else the black, viscous fluid could be.

"Yeah, luv. Just blood." Spike leaned down and gave Xander's mouth a quick kiss. "We'll get you cleaned up as soon as we get home."

"Ewww!" Xander tried to fend off Spike's kiss. "I just barfed all over the place." Xander gestured around them, though it was difficult to tell what was vomit and what was debris from the battle.

Spike let Xander push him away, but gave him a leering look. "Fine, but let's head home. Patrol's over and I'm horny."

Xander rolled his eyes at his husband. "You're *always* horny."

"So?"

"So, we have to go check on the people in the car." Xander headed over toward the old, beat-up Buick station wagon. He turned to find Spike pouting, but following him nonetheless. "They could be hurt, and they're probably scared."

"Yeah, all right. I'm followin' you ain't I?" Spike grumbled back, but he hastened his steps a bit.

Spike arrived at the car first, reaching out to grasp the door handle. Busting the lock as he pulled the handle up with a hard jerk, Spike peered inside. Before Xander could get close enough to check the occupants, Spike's expression tumbled from surprise to sadness to consternation, all within the space of a few seconds. "Bugger!"

"What's going - " Xander's sentence stuck in his throat when he looked into the interior of the car and saw two tiny bodies huddled together toward the other end of the bench seat. They were crying and sniffling, and Xander's heart immediately went out to them.

One of them was still in a car seat, the other had obviously unfastened their seat belts and pushed them as far away from the side the fight had occurred on as possible. The one in the seat couldn't have been much more than 2 years old, the older no more than 5, maybe 6. Xander felt tears well in his eyes as he realized that the remains he'd seen when they'd first arrived on the scene must have been those of their parents.

"Hey there." Xander slowly entered the car emitting soothing words and sounds the entire way. "Shhh…Everything's going to be all right. My name's Xander, and that's Spike. We'll take care of you. Shhhh." Xander now cradled the older child in his arms, rocking her gently back and forth. She was crying softly and asking for her momma, making Xander's tears fall even faster.

Slowly the girl began to drift into an exhausted sleep. When she'd finally succumbed, Xander lay her back down on the seat, checking on the boy in the car seat to make sure that he, too, had calmed enough to fall asleep. Slowly he climbed out of the car, making sure not to rock the vehicle and wake the children.

Spike was standing just a few feet away waiting for his lover to emerge. "Xan?"

"They're asleep. We have to take them to social services or something." Xander's voice was agitated and he paced the sidewalk. "What do we do? What do we tell them?"

"Shhh, luv." Spike came up beside him, his arms entrapping Xander's warm body, his voice soothing. "We'll figure it all out. But there is something you should know." Xander's head came up and his eyebrow quirked. "They're not human. Not entirely, anyway."

"What? How do you know? They look human."

"I know that, luv. But I can smell them, and the blood that was spilt earlier. Only one was human, the other - I'm not sure." Spike turned to look at the car, his expression one of quiet contemplation.

"That means…that means we can't take them to social services."

"No."

"What will they do? We can't just leave them here. We have to take them home. We'll take care of them."

"No!" Spike ran his hands up and down Xander's arms. "How can we, luv? We don't know anything about children. We don’t even know what species they are!"

"I promised we'd take care of them." Xander's voice was determined while he looked at Spike in entreaty. "They don't have anyone else."

"No!"

"But…" Xander's eyes widened as he focused tear filled chocolate orbs on his lover's face. His bottom lip came out in a quivering pout, and Spike was lost.

"Bollocks!"

end part 1