Title: Quantum Xander

By Cassy Mills

Pairing: Xander/ different pairings, het, slash and threesomes.

Rating : Up to NC17

Summary: Ever wish you knew how different your life could have been?

Feedback: If you want to. james_chick2002@yahoo.ca

Disclaimer: If I were Joss, Spike and Xander would be naked 24/7. They aren't? Guess I'm not Joss then ;-p

Archive: http://www.geocities.com/kiwileesa2000/jameschick

Anyone else just ask.

A/N: This is for @shy and Meleesa for encouraging me to continue.

Also thank you to my Beta, Alex. Without your hard work, this would be riddled with errors.

Xander stretched and rolled out of bed. He needed to get up and help Giles at the shop today. Deanna needed to train with someone and he had been volunteered. She was good. Not as good as Buffy, but in his opinion no one was as good as Buffy.

He had been here for two weeks now - two weeks in a place where everything was familiar but different. He wondered if he'd ever get home. As he showered, Xander thought about that first day.

::Two weeks earlier::

Xander yawned, opened his eyes and rolled over. He knew it was too early to get up because his alarm hadn't gone off yet. So why was he awake? Better yet why was he on the floor?

Xander stood up and stretched. He was still fully dressed just as he had been when he fell into bed last night. Patrol had been hard, two vamp nests and a coven of witches trying to open the hell-mouth.

As soon as the fact registered that he was in his bedroom, his completely empty bedroom, Xander began to worry. There was no way someone could have taken every last stick of furniture out of here while he was sleeping and not wake him. Something hell-mouthy was at work.

He left the bedroom only to find the rest of the apartment in the same shape - empty. It was as if he had never lived here. Even the paint was back to the same plain white that had been there before he signed the lease. He and Anya had the place painted in soft pastel tones. Her idea, but it did look good. With no phone and no electricity, Xander figured he'd have to walk over the magic shop to see if any of the others were experiencing weirdness.

The walk through Sunnydale was like something out of the 'Twilight Zone'. He swore he saw faces from his graduating class. Faces of people he knew hadn't survived the mayor's ascension. Shrugging it off as more of the same weirdness that took all his furniture, he continued on to the shop.

Xander walked through the front door of the magic box and was pleasantly surprised to see Giles there.

"Hey G-man! When'd you get back from the mother country?"

The crossbow aimed at his chest and the small brunette girl with a stake were not expected. Xander swallowed hard and tried again.

"Uh? Giles? I know you hate the nick name but is this necessary?"

Giles slowly approached Xander and opened the door. The morning sunlight poured into the shop and surrounded Xander in its brightness. Giles frowned and then withdrew a cross from his pocket. He pressed it to the side of Xander's neck. Nothing happened.

"Who are you?"

"What? I'm Xander. Who else would I be?"

Giles took several steps away from him and motioned for the brunette to come closer. Xander couldn't hear what was being said but he knew it was about him. He waited with a growing sense of wrongness. This was all wrong. Giles thought he was a vampire? Why? And who was the slayer wannabe?

"Xander?"

"Yeah G-man? Uh sorry, habit."

"What are you doing here?"

Xander sighed and motioned toward the research table.

"Can we sit? This might be kinda hard to believe but I don't think I belong here."

Giles nodded and the three of them took a seat.

"First off. I'm Xander. Do you know me?"

"Yes. You were one of Buffy's closest friends."

"Were? As in we aren't friends anymore? Or as in, one of us ain't breathing anymore?"

"You were turned. Last year as a matter of fact."

"How? Who? Why?"

"Well the how is pretty obvious. The who? Angelus. As for why? I can only assume to hurt Buffy."

"Which leads me to my next question. Where is the Buffster and who's the brunette?"

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. The brunette shot Xander a hate-filled look.

"Buffy was killed. This is Deanna, the new slayer."

Xander sighed and put his head on the table.

"Looks like I'm not in Kansas any more."

"Why don't you tell me what you remember. What's the first thing you remember that seemed different?"

Xander began talking, he told him about waking up in his empty apartment on the floor and everything that had happened between then and the moment he walked through the front door.

"And you say that Mayor Wilkins ascended? Fascinating. Buffy and Faith killed him before graduation in this reality. I assume that's why you recognised some of your former classmates. What else can you tell me about your reality?"

Xander and Giles talked for the next couple hours. Xander learned that in this reality Angelus had never been re-souled, as Willow had been vamped with Jesse in high school. Angelus had turned him, killed Buffy, and they had left town with Spike and Dru.

"What about the Initiative?"

"The what?"

"Riley Finn and his commando boys? Not ringing any bells?"

"Er, no actually. Please explain."

Xander went on to tell him about the military operation that had based itself in Sunnydale, how they had chipped Spike and he had come to them for help. How he had become somewhat of a colleague and had fallen in love with Buffy. He then asked about Glory and Dawn.

Giles told him that while he wasn't sure who this Glory person was, that Dawn had been killed by Drusilla. Xander assumed that because the key no longer existed, Glory had no reason to come to Sunnydale seeking it.

Giles couldn't believe some of the things he had heard. Faith being a rogue slayer, Dawn being a key that would destroy the barriers between worlds, Buffy dying and then being resurrected. Angel running a detective agency in LA with Cordelia Chase working for him. It was too much.

"And you say that Willow was a powerful witch in your reality? Fascinating."

"What happened to Willow and Jesse? Are they still vampires or did Buffy dust them?"

"Er, Jesse is still a demon as far as I know but Willow was dusted by Drusilla. It seems that Spike took a special ... interest in her and Dru got jealous."

"Oh. What about Cordy? What about Anya?"

"Cordelia left after graduation. I believe she is modelling in New York. As for this Anya? I'm afraid I don't know who she is."

"Of course! If Willow was vamped, there would never have been any kissing and Cordy wouldn't have made that wish and Anyanka would never have been here."

Giles spluttered.

"Did - did you say Anyanka? As in the vengeance demon Anyanka? The patron saint of scorned women?"

"Yep. She owned half this store, we almost got married."

Giles looked like he was about to faint.

"If it makes you feel better, she was human. You smashed her necklace and she lost her powers."

"I see. I must say, your Sunnydale seems like a very odd place indeed."

"Welcome to the hell mouth."

"Hell mouth? What hell mouth?"

Xander groaned. It was going to be a very long day.

::Present::

It had turned out to be a long couple of weeks. This Giles was just as obsessive as the one he remembered. They had read through countless magical texts trying to find a way to send him home. They had discussed the differences between their worlds, the possibility of endless realities existing. Xander knew there were at least four. This one, his reality, the wish-verse that Anya created and apparently a world without shrimp.

It made sense that there would be more. His inner geek told him the possibilities were endless. Every time you made a decision you created a reality in which you chose to go left instead of right, but somewhere, there was a reality where you chose the opposite. It was a scary thought. With that many possibilities he might never get home.

Xander finished his shower and got dressed. He felt a bit dizzy for a moment and closed his eyes. As he headed back downstairs he heard voices in the kitchen. As he got closer he recognised one of them as Buffy's. He grinned like an idiot and barged into the room.

Everyone fell silent and stared at him. He did the same. 'Cause there at the table sat Giles, Buffy, Willow, Spike, Tara, Dawn and.... himself.

"Well this is going to be fun."

~PART 2~

The shocked expression on everyone's faces made Xander want to giggle. He didn't, but he desperately wanted to. He realised that it was just the shock of obviously crossing into another reality and seeing himself. He wondered what things were different in this reality.

"Hey? Do you guys have shrimp on this world?"

Everyone looked at him strangely except Anya.

"Yes, we do. Have you been to the world without shrimp?"

"No, not yet anyway. This is only my second reality that isn't really mine."

"Oh, well when you get there, don't eat the seafood. It tastes funny."

"Thanks for the tip An, I'll keep it in mind."

Xander chuckled because it was just too funny not to. Everyone was still gaping at him like he was a side-show exhibit, and Anya just talked to him like it was perfectly normal for him to just show up from another dimension. Finally Spike found his voice and leaned over to the other Xander.

"He looks just like you pet, can we keep him?"

"Ew! No way, that would be like .... "

"Twins!"

Spike grinned lasciviously at the Xander sitting beside him before pecking him on the mouth. The Xander in the doorway stared in abject horror as he watched his twin kissing Spike.

"Oh God! It's a hell dimension. I'm macking on Spike!"

Spike and Xander both looked up at this and frowned. Spike pouted at his Xander and whispered in his ear. Xander just shrugged his shoulders and looked at his double.

"I take it you and Spike aren't a couple in your reality?"

Xander frantically shook his head. He then pointed at Anya and himself, unable to make words. Giles stepped in and tried to make sense out of this strange situation.

"You mean to tell us that you are Xander, but from a reality that differs from our own?"

"Yes."

"And that in your reality, you and Anya are ... involved?"

"We were engaged."

"And this is the second alternate reality you have found yourself in?"

"Uh huh."

"Fascinating. I would like to speak to you about all of this. Would you join us?"

"Uh, are they going to be doing ... that ... the whole time?"

'They' were Spike and Xander who were sitting close to each other, holding hands and whispering.

"Quite possibly. If you like we could talk in the other room?"

"Okay G-man, er, Giles. Sorry."

"Quite alright, tea?"

"Yes, please."

Xander told Giles everything he could remember about the other reality, and about the Sunnydale he was from. There wasn't much different here other that the fact that this Xander was obviously gay and very into Spike. Willow and Tara were a couple, as were Buffy and Riley. The shock was that Anya and Giles were married. Xander had tried to picture his Giles and Anya as a couple and smiled as he thought about how embarrassed the former watcher would be by his ex's blunt references to sex and her public demands for orgasms.

Giles suggested that Xander keep a journal, and gave him an empty book of lined paper. He also invited him to stay in the guest room for his duration in this reality in exchange for answers to any questions he might think up. Xander readily agreed and took the journal up to the guest room to be alone for a while. He decided writing things down would be a very good idea.

~PART 3~

Xander packed his journal into his backpack along with his extra set of clothes. He didn't seem to have any warning when he would shift realities so he tended to keep his things with him at all times, especially his journal. If he ever got home, Giles would find it fascinating. If he decided to show it to him.

Xander strolled down the street toward the fast food place. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm but not too warm. It felt good to just be alive and outside. When he got to the Doublemeat Palace, his twin was nowhere to be seen so he got his food and sat down in a booth to wait. He didn't have to wait long. Within five minutes, Xander slid into the seat across from him. They both grinned when they saw that they had chosen the exact same meal.

"So, what did you want to see me about?"

"Ah, straight to the point. I like that."

"No sense in playing dumb with you, is there?"

"No. You're right. I have a few questions that I was hoping you wouldn't mind me asking. They're kind of personal."

"In other words, you didn't want to ask me in front of Spike?"

"Well, yeah. But the girls and Giles too."

"Okay, shoot."

Xander opened his burger and took the tomato and pickles off and discarded them. He watched as the other Xander did the same. He chuckled again. It really was too weird.

"I always forget to just order it without tomato and pickle."

"Me too. And you're stalling."

"I know. It's just ... "

"You want to know how I ended up with Spike, right?"

"Yeah, that and ... how come you're gay?"

The Xander of this world took a long sip of his soda and ran a hand back through his hair.

"It would be easier to answer the gay issue first, then I'll explain about Spike. Okay?"

"Okay."

"It started on my fifteenth birthday. I didn't have a party, mom was ... okay mom was drunk as usual and dad could give a shit whether or not I had food to eat, let alone a party."

"Yeah, I know."

"I guess you would. Anyway, Willow and Jesse threw me a secret party. It was out in Miller’s woods, in a clearing where we used to play. It was the place where Wills and I used to play doctor, only she never got it right."

"She brought a little black bag with a stethoscope and a thermometer. I remember that."

"Yeah, never had the heart to tell her."

"Me neither."

"Well, that night I stayed over at Jesse's. His Mom baked a cake for me and everything. It was great; we stayed up late watching monster movies and then stumbled up to bed. We were laying down in bed and I was just drifting off to sleep, then..."

"He kissed me. You. I ... it happened to me too. I pretended I was asleep and as soon as Jesse fell asleep I went downstairs and slept on the couch. He never did it again, and we pretended it hadn't happened. Never even talked about it."

"I didn't. I kissed him back. We dated secretly for a while, no one knew, not even Willow. When Darla turned him I wanted to die. I was lost without him and I couldn't even tell anyone why. I decided I would never hide who I was again. Life is way too short man, especially when you hang out with the slayer."

Xander and Xander finished their lunches in silence. Xander had a lot to think about. He remembered the night Jesse kissed him. He had often wondered how differently his life might have been had he only admitted he liked it instead of running away from it. Now he knew. This Xander was happy, he was in love and he was confident. No zeppo in him at all.

As they were walking back to the construction site, Xander had to ask about Spike.

"Oh that. Well it's kinda funny actually. I tied him to my barka lounger the first night he stayed in the basement with me. We had a nice little conversation about my bite-worthiness."

"Moist and delicious?"

"Yep, a real nummy treat."

Both Xanders chuckled at the remembrance of that conversation.

"Anyway, I started thinking about other places I could tie him up to. He knew exactly what I was thinking and called me on it. Eventually, we just gave in to it. Been together ever since. He's more than you think he is. You know Spike: the 'big bad', Master vampire and all that crap. I know William. The person he really is behind all those fronts. It takes a special person to stay with an insane woman for a century, you know?"

"Loyal, I get that. He defended Dawn with his life during the Glory thing."

"So, was there anything else you wanted to know? Size? Stamina? Technique?"

Xander spluttered and his double laughed.

"That wasn't nice!"

"I know."

"Actually I was wondering, if you're gay... who summoned Anyanka?"

"Willow, who else?"

"Wills? Why?"

"Cordelia cheated on her with Harmony. She was pissed. Who summoned her in your world?"

"Cordy. She caught me and Willow kissing after Spike kidnapped us."

The Xander of this world burst out laughing.

"You dated Cordelia Chase? Man and I thought you had class."

"Hey!"

"Please, I bet you chased Buffy too, didn't you?"

"Well ..."

"Over-compensating much? You chased after the most unattainable women. Did you ever wonder why?"

"And on that note, I'm going back to the shop. I told Giles I'd give him a hand with inventory."

"Chicken."

Xander straightened his backpack and walked away. Just as he turned the corner he felt that dizzy sensation again.

~PART 4~

When Xander opened his eyes, he was still standing on the corner; however, he knew it wasn't the same corner. He had shifted again. He figured the dizzy sensation must be a side effect of the shift. He chuckled a bit hysterically. He was never going to get used to this. Shaking his head, he walked toward the Magic Box. Time to check in with the scoobies of this world.

Xander paid a lot of attention to his surroundings on the way. Things didn't look any different from his Sunnydale but he wasn't about to get his hopes up.

As he entered the shop, Giles looked up at him and smiled.

"Ah, Xander. You're early. Faith isn't here yet, so why don't you have a seat. I'll make some tea while we wait."

"Uh, okay."

Xander sat at the table in the corner of the shop while Giles made tea. He figured the Englishman would appreciate having some while he told him who he was and why he was here.

"Wait a minute… Faith?"

Xander wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Maybe he should just find somewhere to hide until the next shift. Faith was bad news.

Giles came out of the small kitchenette in the back with a tray of tea and cookies. He placed it on the table and sat down opposite Xander. Xander took a deep calming breath and slowly let it out. Then he looked at Giles and grinned sheepishly.

"Giles? We need to talk."

The explanation itself took awhile, then there were the questions. Pretty much the same ones the previous Giles had asked. Xander was considering making a list to hand out. It would save time.

By the time Giles was convinced that Xander was telling the truth and he really wasn't the Xander of this world, Faith had come strolling into the shop. She plopped herself down on Xander's lap and kissed him soundly.

"Hey Xan, what's up? I thought we weren't meeting 'til later?"

Xander spluttered and stood up so fast he dumped the brunette slayer on her ass. Giles stifled a laugh and Faith glared at the man she thought was her lover.

"Oh God. Lips, Faith lips! Kissed by Faith! No, nononononono. Not good. I gotta go."

Xander made for the door, but Faith was faster. She held him back and looked at her watcher searchingly.

"What the hell is wrong with him? Did he get possessed again? Did Willow cast a spell? Why is he acting like he's scared of me?"

Giles took off his glasses and polished them with his shirttail. He sighed and motioned for Faith to bring Xander back to the table. Once they were seated again - Xander as far from Faith as he could get - Giles began to explain to Faith what had happened.

"So, you mean this isn't my Xander?"

"No. It appears that he is from an alternate reality - one in which you were not a nice person. In his world, you were the one who worked for Mayor Wilkins, not Buffy."

"Damn. No wonder he fled."

Xander had remained quiet, allowing Giles to explain the situation to his slayer, until he heard that Buffy had been the one to go bad.

"Buffy worked for Wilkins? No way! She wouldn't do something like that."

Giles went to speak but Faith held up her hand and silenced him. She looked at Xander with sympathy.

"After she sent Angel to hell, she was never the same. She left Sunnydale. She stayed away a long time. Angel came back; Willow found him and helped him. I showed up in town and started cleaning things up. The place was a mess. A hellmouth with no slayer is not a fun place to live. Angel helped me for awhile. I was an angry young woman when I first got here. He taught me how to channel my aggression into my calling. But you were the one who helped me the most."

"Me? How?"

"I ... I'm not proud of this. I took advantage of you, practically raped you one night. I tried to choke you to death, but Angel saved you. I expected to be run out of town, for you to hate me. You didn't. You forgave me. You said you understood what it was like to grow up without anyone who loved you, and that the darkness was an easy trap to fall into. I found a kindred soul in you."

Xander nodded. He did understand that, and yeah, things could have happened that way. It wasn't as far-fetched as it seemed. If anyone could understand Faith, it would be him.

"O-okay. But Buffy?"

Giles sighed and took over the explanation.

"When she left town, she was not in her right mind. She had just sent her lover to hell. She ended up in Los Angeles; she worked a few odd jobs but she seemed to be lost. A law firm took notice of her and ... well they weren't your average run-of-the-mill law firm. They worked for demons. They took her in, trained her to become a heartless killer. She wasn't Buffy any more. She was cold, hard, and vicious. Wilkins hired her as a bodyguard and to spy on us. She almost fooled us all."

Xander could see how hard this was on the man. Buffy had been more than just a slayer to him. She was like a daughter. He felt sick knowing that this could have happened in his reality, that his Buffy could have turned out this way. Giles continued the story.

"Surprisingly, it was Spike who informed us of her duplicity. He and Drusilla came back to town after being experimented on by some military group that was based in South America. He found out about the Mayor's ascension plans and traded us the information for fixing him and Drusilla. We didn't want to do it, but we needed to stop the Mayor."

"You de-chipped Spike? Are you nuts?"

"Well, it is not as if I wanted to. I really didn't see any other option at the time. If the Mayor had ascended, the whole town would have been destroyed."

"Yeah, I get that. So what happened?"

"Long story short? Faith and Angel killed the Mayor, Buffy escaped back to LA, and Spike and Drusilla left town."

"Is Buffy still working for those evil lawyers?"

"Er, no actually. Spike was able to add another slayer to his collection. She was killed shortly after returning to LA."

Xander put his head down on the table. This was a lot to take in - just knowing that all of this was possibly his fault. If only he had told the truth, told Buffy that Willow was trying the spell ... damn it! He had been such an asshole back then.

The shop door opened and he heard someone approach the table.

"Hey guys! How's my favourite brunette today?"

Xander looked up in time to see his double kiss Faith. It was going to be a nightmare explaining himself again. Hopefully Giles and Faith would do it and just let him brood in peace.

~PART 5~

I met Willow today. She and Oz have been making the L.A. club circuit. Get this: Willow dropped out of college to become a full-time groupie. It's way weird. She doesn't act like my Wills. Apparently she was quite miffed at me because I never returned her affection in high school. That's what Faith and my double tell me, anyway. She hooked up with Oz and hasn't been the same since. She doesn't do the witchy thing anymore - she stopped after restoring Angel's soul. I think she's a werewolf, but no one knows for sure. She and Oz don't come around much.

On that note, might I add that he and Faith are good as a twosome? They are. It is freakishly weird to see them together. When I think of Faith and me, I remember the feel of her hands on my throat, the lack of air and the dizziness that followed. But when I look at this Xander with this Faith, I see a happy couple who are so desperately in love it almost makes me sick. It's like watching Buffy and Angel before all the Angst, or Buffy and Riley before the Initiative turned out to be the bad guys.

Xander closed his journal and slipped it into his backpack. He put the backpack on and prepared to head back to Xander's place. It was nice spending the day alone in the park, but it was starting to get dark and he really didn't want to die in some strange world where Buffy was the bad guy and Faith saved the day.

As he stood up, that eerie dizzy sensation hit him again. He held onto the bench and closed his eyes until it passed. He fell over as soon as the dizziness stopped. He opened his eyes to see why he had fallen. The question was easily answered when he saw that there was no bench in front of him. Actually there was no park, either. He looked at his surroundings and bit his tongue to keep from screaming.

There was a huge pile of rotting corpses in front of him. Some were human, most weren't. He turned around and ran as fast as he could.

~PART 6~

Running only led him further into town and further into trouble. Nothing about this world was right. It was dark, dreary, scary as hell and he hadn't seen any people. Other than the dead ones when he'd first arrived, that is.

The buildings still standing were in a state of disrepair, and the others were no more than piles of rubble, some of them on fire. He had to wonder what had happened here, but there was no time for thinking. Right now, he needed to find someplace safe and hole up till he figured out what was going on.

Xander didn't stop running until he found himself in the cemetery. He hid in one of the sturdier-looking crypts and sat as far back from the door as possible. He would never complain about where he was again if this was his punishment. Taking out his journal he began to write.

I don't know where I am or what I'm going to do. This world is not a friendly place. When I opened my eyes after the dizziness passed ... God. The sight, the smell ... All those bodies. I will never forget it as long as I live. Which may not be long judging from this place. It looks like a war zone.

I haven't seen any people. Then again, I haven't seen any demons either. Other than those bodies. I don't know what to make of it yet. I found a crypt to hole up in. Hopefully I won't be here long. I don't think I want to know how things are different here. I imagine hell looks a lot like this place does.

Xander closed his book and waited for the sun to set. He only hoped that no one found him. He had a gut feeling that there was no slayer at all in this version of Sunnydale. No scoobies either. Hell, he'd be happy to see Spike, as long as he was chipped.

Xander must have drifted off, for the next thing he knew he was being dragged from the crypt by two of the ugliest demons he had ever seen - and he'd been up close and personal with Chaos demons, so he knew ugly.

These guys were big, nine - maybe ten - feet tall. They were the sickliest colour of green, and had dripping pustules all over their bodies. They smelled bad too. Really, really bad. Xander couldn't help but retch as one of them leaned over and exhaled in his face. The big ... thing ... didn't like that too much and displayed his anger by hitting Xander hard enough to knock him unconscious.

When Xander next awoke, he was in a cell. It was filled to capacity with other people, some of them in really bad shape. He didn't see anyone he recognised at first; then he saw a small shape huddled in the corner. If it weren't for the shock of red hair he wouldn't have even seen her.

"Willow?"

Xander quickly pushed his way through the other people and crouched down beside his long-time friend. He tilted her face up to get a look at her and gasped at what he saw. His Wills, his beautiful Willow was covered in scars; she was filthy and missing an eye. He pulled her into his arms and held her as he cried.

Xander realised that something was wrong when she didn't respond. He looked around at the others and wondered why it was that they just sat there, seeming to accept the fact that they were prisoners. Why did no one care?

"What the hell is wrong with her?!"

Xander was angry. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. He needed to know how things had turned out so wrong on this world and if there was any way to change it. One man sitting nearby looked at Xander and shrugged his shoulders.

"She don't speak. She don't cry. She don't fight. She's broken."

The simple speech turned his stomach. Broken. Willow was broken. And why did the man talk like that? Like he didn't know how to form sentences?

"Why? Why is she broken? Why do you speak like that?"

"We don't talk. Only when told to. Acathla don't like us to talk."

Xander's gut clenched at the name. Acathla was released here. Angelus had been successful. Hell on earth was reality here. He was going to die - he knew it. This was like a farm or something; sooner or later he would be killed for food. He wanted to throw up. Again. So he did.

Just then the door opened and two of those green things came in again. They grabbed a young man from one of the benches and dragged him out. The man didn't even put up a fight. What the hell was wrong with these people?

"What the hell is wrong with you people!?"

Several people turned to look at him when he yelled but then just as quickly went back to what they had been doing. Which as far as Xander could see, was nothing but staring off into space. Xander eased Willow out of his arms and leaned her up against the wall. He turned to the older man who had spoken to him before, the only one who seemed to speak, and asked him what happened to the people who were taken out of this room.

"They fight. They live? Maybe they come back. They die? They're food."

Xander's mind was spinning. Fight? Fight whom? What? And food? Oh hell no! He was NOT gonna be meat for those monsters. He just had to hold out until the next shift. He wished there were a way to take Willow with him.

"Who do they fight? Demons?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes humans. Don't matter. It's all just sport to them."

"Like throwing the Christians to the lions? That's ... That's ... Barbaric! Why don't you fight back?"

"No point. Where you from son? Everyone knows demons rule the world. No point in fighting it."

Xander shook his head sadly and went back to the still form of his friend.

~PART 7~

Xander must have fallen asleep for he was awakened rather abruptly by a very large orange-and-purple coloured demon dragging him across the floor and out of the room.

He fought. He kicked and hit and screamed bloody murder. It did him no good whatsoever - in fact it seemed to amuse the creature. Xander took one last look at Willow and closed his eyes. She was just sitting there staring blankly at the wall, the same as she had been when he'd first seen her.

The demon tossed Xander into a small cage-like cell and then walked away. Xander looked around, wondering what was going to happen next. He didn't like the feel of this at all. His 'Hellmouth radar' was going off in a big way.

The place was dark and he could just barely make out the shapes of other cells in the area. He figured this must be a holding area. But for what? He hoped it wasn't the food galley. At least he stood a chance of surviving if he had to fight. All those late-night beatings by various demons while on patrol would finally pay off.

At least he still had his pack on. The journal was the only thing that kept him sane sometimes. It reminded him that he had a home, someplace he belonged, someplace he would - hopefully - see again. If he were to lose his journal in this God-forsaken dimension he would never forgive himself.

Xander carefully slipped his backpack off and pulled his journal out. He tucked it into the back of his pants and pulled his t-shirt down over it. He put his pack back on and waited. At least this way, if they took his backpack or if it was torn off in a fight he would still have his most prized possession.

It felt as though he'd been in the cage for hours when finally someone came into the room. He watched as the cage across from his was opened and a man was pulled out. He didn't understand what the demon was saying to him, but he understood its intent when it licked the man's face and grabbed his ass. It put a whole new level of fear into him. Fighting was one thing, but no WAY was he going to give his ass to some demon. Uh uh!

When the door closed and the room was silent again, Xander risked taking his journal out to write in it. It was the only thing he had to pass the time.

This place is worse than I thought. Acathla was set free here; I guess Angelus wasn't stopped in time. I found Willow. Gods ... she isn't there, ya know? I was captured, taken prisoner. I don't know what's gonna happen to me. From what I've learned, humans are kept for entertainment and food. The entertainment comes in two forms, fighting - against demons or other humans - and sex. I'll die first.

I'm in a holding pen of some sort. I've been separated from Wills and the others that I was with. I'm not sure why, but I know it can't be good. A man was just taken from the room a few minutes ago, and he wasn't going to fight - if you get my drift.

This place is a nightmare. I want to go home. I swear the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is drive to L.A. and punch Angel in the face. Damn stupid vampire! What the FUCK was he thinking? I knew there was a reason for my hating him.

I can't help but wonder where Buffy was when Angelus was opening the portal. I mean, she should have stopped him right? She did back home, so what happened here? Did Spike double-cross her? Did Angelus kill her? So many damn possibilities, and no way to know for sure. I'm afraid to find out what other possible nastiness awaits me. There have been so many close calls, so many apocalypses ... apocalypti? Whichever.

Xander closed his journal and slipped it back into his pants. He had just given himself something to think about there. What if the next place he went was worse? What if he died before getting home? He could end up anywhere. A world where the Master rules, or a place where they didn't stop Glory in time. What about ADAM or the First Evil?

It was suddenly too much for Xander and he gave in to his emotions. He hung his head in his hands and allowed the tears to fall.

~PART 8~

Xander tucked his journal away just as one of the large orange-and-purple demons stepped into the room. This was not a good sign. He had already been taken out earlier to fight, and the time for fighting was long past. There could only be one reason for this visit and Xander would die before he allowed that to happen to him.

As soon as the door on his little cage-like cell had been opened, Xander charged. The demon had not expected the attack and therefore Xander caught him off-guard. As his shoulder plowed heavily into the demon’s mid-section, the demon let out a burst of foul breath and doubled over. Xander took the opportunity to make a run for the door.

Outside in the hallway, Xander paused for a quick look around. He knew the way to the pit but other than that he was completely lost. He turned in the opposite direction of the pit and ran like hell. He could hear the demon following close behind him. He ran faster, but he was quickly tiring. Weeks of being underfed and forced to fight for his very life had drained his energy, so it was not very surprising that he was soon caught.

The demon didn't seem to be all that put out by the chase, in fact it seems downright happy about it. Xander figured that the demons of this world didn't get to hunt their prey very often, judging by the calm acceptance he had seen from the humans around him. The thought sickened him. He would never surrender to this willingly.

He continued to struggle against the large arms that held him. He kicked out with his legs; he clawed and bit. It did nothing except further excite his captor. When he realised that he had been dragged into a darkened room by the thing, he screamed.

The demon began pawing him and snuffling at his neck. Xander was almost violently ill as he felt the vile tongue of the demon taste his skin. He couldn't ever remember being more repulsed than he was at this moment. The demon ripped his shirt from his chest and Xander felt hot salty tears run down his cheeks. For all his earlier bravado, he knew he wouldn't die first. He would endure this and live through it. He felt the demon’s clawed hands at the fastenings of his pants; he closed his eyes and wept with relief as the dizziness overtook him.

Xander opened his eyes to see that he was standing in a classroom. It was night-time and the room was dark, but he recognised it as being his fourth grade classroom at Sunnydale Elementary School. Was this really the same place he had been kept prisoner all this time? As a child he had often felt like a prisoner at school. Life was just full of bitter ironies.

Being careful to make no noise, Xander left the classroom and headed for the front door of the school. He didn't care if he set off the alarms; he was not staying here one more moment. He needed to find out if this world was friendly or not, and he needed to find a place to clean up. A couple of weeks under a hot shower might erase the feel of those clawed hands on his skin, that slimy tongue on his neck; the scent was still lingering on him.

Out the door and into the night he went. At first impression, this place wasn't overrun by demons, but you could never be too careful. Xander kept to the shadows as he moved towards Giles’ apartment complex. So far, he had been the one constant in every shift except the last one. He figured if he was going to find help, there would be the place to look.

Xander stopped outside the door and listened. He could hear voices inside but he wasn't sure whom they belonged to. He hesitated for a minute but finally got up the courage to knock. It couldn't be worse than where he had just been.

The door opened and a very shocked-looking Giles stood there and stared at him. He was sure he looked frightful - half dressed, filthy, covered in demon gore and blood - but he hoped that he would be welcomed inside.

"Xander? Is that really you?"

"Yeah, G-man. It's me. Can I come in?"

Giles did not ask him to enter but he did step aside, allowing Xander entrance to his home if he was able to cross the barrier. Xander, of course, did.

In the living room, five sets of eyes turned to look at him. Willow, Tara, Buffy, Riley ... and Spike. Xander couldn't quite fathom what was wrong with this picture but something was definitely off. He heard Giles talking and spun around to look at him.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, what brings you to Sunnydale and are the others with you?"

"Uh, no others Giles. Just me. Can we ... Can we talk in private for a minute?"

"Of course. Would you like to clean up first? You look like you've spent a week in a hell dimension."

"Two actually, but that's another story. Do you maybe have some clothes I could borrow? I think these need to be ..."

"Burned?"

"Yeah, that or exorcised."

Xander followed Giles upstairs to the bathroom and was handed a clean t-shirt, socks, and a pair of soft grey sweatpants. He smiled in thanks and then closed the door before stripping out of his soiled clothes and setting his journal on the counter. It was now the only thing he owned.

The hot water was a balm to his soul. He scrubbed himself raw with his fingernails and the soap. Every place the demon’s hands had touched received extra scrubbing. He washed his hair until the water ran cold and he had to turn it off. He dried himself slowly, luxuriating in the feel of the soft towel against his newly sensitive skin.

Once he was dressed and feeling a bit more human, he rummaged in the medicine cabinet until he found a spare toothbrush. He thoroughly cleaned his mouth and then drank about five glasses of water. Knowing that he couldn't put it off any longer he picked up his journal, tucked it into the back of his pants and left the bathroom. He knew that Giles would have questions; Giles always had questions.

~PART 9~

Xander was extremely relieved to see that the others were gone by the time he got downstairs. He wasn't up to a full disclosure of the past two weeks with the whole gang. Especially Riley. Something about the soldier had always bothered him, and this world's version was setting off his Hellmouth radar in a big way. He did not trust Agent Finn.

Giles walked out of the kitchen with a tray of sandwiches and a tea service. He spotted Xander and motioned for the boy to take a seat in the living room.

"I thought you might be hungry."

"You have no idea!"

Xander shuddered in remembrance of the things he had been given to eat on the last world. He was sure he would never complain about health food - or any food - ever again. Hell, he'd eat Buffy's cooking and like it, after what he had ingested there.

Giles poured them both tea while Xander tried not to wolf down the sandwiches as if they were going to grow legs and run off if he didn't. He smiled apologetically at the older man and sipped at the hot tea.

"So ... You mentioned others? What others, and why would I 'bring' myself to Sunnydale? Don't I live here?"

"Er ... No. You live in L.A., with Wesley. Don't you remember? Did you suffer a recent head injury? Demon attack?"

Xander couldn't help the giggle that escaped at the English man's confusion and worry. He shook his head and took a deep fortifying breath. He put down his now-empty teacup and sighed.

"Giles… There are some things I need to tell you, things that you may not believe, but I swear they're true."

Giles quirked an eyebrow but settled in to listen. It took Xander several minutes to explain the basics of his situation. Immediately following came a lengthy question and answer period. By the end, Xander had lost track of how many times Giles had said 'fascinating' and polished his glasses.

"So, now you know my story. How about telling me what's the what in your world?"

"What exactly would you like to know?"

"First? Riley, I guess. In my world he and the Buffster split up. Are they still an item?"

"Yes, they did go through a bit of a ... rough patch. However with Joyce's illness, then her death, Buffy needed someone to lean on."

"Okay. So what's the deal with Spike?"

This was the question that interested him the most. It hadn't occurred to him just what had been so off about the scene he walked in on until now. Spike had been sitting on the couch beside Riley. Those two never sat anywhere near each other.

"Spike is ... Well Spike is a bit of a long story. Are you familiar with the work of the Initiative?"

"Oh yeah."

"Oh well then, that simplifies things. Spike is Riley's"

"Spike is Riley's what?"

"Property, so to speak. He's been fitted with a behaviour modification chip. He obeys whatever command Riley gives him. He's been a great asset to us with his knowledge of demon languages and his fighting skills. Does the Spike of your world not have such an implant?"

Xander was horrified. This casual acceptance of Spike's slavery was unbelievable to him! The Giles he knew was better than that. Still, Xander tried to make light of it.

"Oh yeah, he's chipped. He doesn't exactly belong to anyone though. But he does work for us."

Another question was suddenly on his mind.

"Does Angel know?"

"About Spike? I don't think so, at least if he does, he hasn't said anything. In fact, I don't think we've heard from him more than once since his move to L.A.."

Xander didn't think too much of Deadboy, especially after the place he just left, but even he wouldn't let Spike become property to Buffy's boy toy. At least he hoped not.

Xander needed time to think; he needed time to process this new and extremely startling information. He hoped that this Giles would be gracious enough to offer him a bed for the night. If he was going to figure out how to get Spike away from Riley, he needed a good night sleep.

"Hey, Giles? Would it be all right if I crash here tonight? I don't exactly have anywhere to go."

"Certainly. I'll make up the guestroom. I would like to speak with you some more about your ... travels. Would that be acceptable?"

"Sure, but can we do it tomorrow? I've been in hell for two weeks and I'm beat."

"Oh! Of course. Terribly sorry about that. Where are my manners? I'll just go fix up the room."

After Giles left, Xander searched the room for a pen. He'd lost his in the last world and he desperately needed the clarity his journal provided. Maybe, if he wrote this down and looked at it objectively, these versions of his friends wouldn't seem like heartless monsters.

Xander found a pen and tucked it into a pocket just as Giles came into the room and told him the guestroom was ready. The two said goodnight and Xander headed upstairs.

Riley owns Spike. Riley owns Spike, and no one here seems to be bothered by that fact. Buffy, who dated a vampire, is now dating a man who owns a vampire. Giles, a man who has many times threatened to stake Spike but never will as long as he remains harmless, who I know watched Passions with Spike - faithfully I might add - is not bothered by the fact that Spike is essentially a slave. Willow and Tara - two of the kindest, most soft-hearted people I know - are not bothered by this? Willow? A Jewish Wicca is okay with the owning of a sentient being?

Okay. I wrote it down, I read and re-read it and it still doesn't make sense. These are not the people I know. My friends would not stand for this. Okay Spike is ... well he's Spike - a demon, an evil soulless thing. Yeah. An evil soulless thing that risked his life to save a frightened young girl from a hell God, that endured hours of torture from said hell God for the same young girl. An evil fiend that has saved my ass on more than one occasion when he could have let me die. How evil is that? How evil is a guy who laughs at Monty Python and watches Saturday morning cartoons?

Spike may be a demon, he may be soulless and evil, but I've seen him do things for the people he loves that souled beings wouldn't risk. He fought through a mob for Dru, knights on horseback and a hell God for Buffy and Dawn. He's saved Willow and Tara from countless beasties. He befriended Anya when she needed someone to talk to. Someone who would understand all that she had lost by becoming human. Spike is evil, but he's my friend. I won't leave him to this fate.

Xander closed his journal and tucked it under the pillow. He wasn't lying when he told Giles he was beat. He needed sleep in the worst way. He would figure out a plan tomorrow. Unfortunately, he knew it would involve calling L.A. and talking to Angel.

~PART 10~

Xander rolled over onto the warm, sleeping body of his lover. He nuzzled into the other man’s neck and gently placed one of his legs between his lover’s thighs. He languidly rubbed himself against the hard thigh that was pressed into his groin. He smiled when he felt the other man begin to stir. He kissed his way down the smooth chest underneath him, stopping to taste each tiny pebbled nipple before thrusting his tongue into his love’s navel. Wesley sat up with a screech.

"Ack! You know I hate it when you do that! It tickles."

"I know. Let me make it up to you?"

Xander didn't wait for an answer, he just sucked the head of Wesley’s cock into his mouth and brought one hand down to caress and fondle his balls. He liked waking Wesley up this way; the older English man was not in a very alert state in the morning and made the cutest noises during sex.

While Wesley was moaning and trying not to thrust too hard into his mouth, Xander took the opportunity to open his legs wider. He then flipped open the bottle of lube and squirted some onto his fingers. He gently inserted them into Wesley’s ass and began stretching him. Once he was sure he wouldn't cause the man any discomfort, he released his cock from his mouth and crawled up his body.

"Morning, lover."
Wesley merely squeaked in reply and Xander chuckled before kissing him. He pulled Wesley’s legs up over his shoulders and eased his way inside his lover’s tight, hot body.

Xander cherished every day he and Wesley had together. In their line of work - demon hunting - death was a common occurrence. Not to mention the fact that being Angel’s seer wasn't exactly making him friends with the power players in this city. Wolfram and Hart were always seeking ways to get to Angel; he knew that first hand. He had inherited his visions from his former lover, Doyle. When they had met while Xander was working at a bar in Oxnard, it had been love at first sight. There was just something about the Irish half-demon that called to Xander. He moved to L.A. with him and never looked back. Not even after he and Doyle learned that Angel was the champion he would be working for.

Doyle’s death tore Xander apart. He was heartbroken and wasn't taking the visions too well either. He just wanted to give them to someone else and crawl into a hole and die. He even kissed Angel, trying to pass them to him. All that happened was that he got the first real laugh he'd had since Doyle died. The look on Angel’s face when Xander kissed him was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Up to that point, he didn't know that vampires were capable of blushing, or that Angel had such a ... vulgar vocabulary.

After that it got easier. He worked with Angel at night and held a job at a demon karaoke bar during the afternoon. When Wesley strolled in one day looking for a demon he was tracking, they started talking. Before they knew it, Wesley was a full-time employee of Angel Investigations. Xander fell for him soon after. Since then, they hadn’t spent a night apart in over two years.

There was nothing Xander would rather do than spend Sunday morning making love to Wesley. It was the day they set aside just to be together, no outside influences. Except, of course, for visions sent from the PTB. He could feel Wesley tightening around him and knew he was going to cum soon. He sped up his pace, increasing the strength of each thrust until they were both crying out their release. Wesley’s arms came up around Xander’s back and pulled him down to sprawl across his chest.

As they lay there basking in the afterglow, Xander began to thrash wildly and gripped his head. Wesley held him as still as possible and waited for his lover to ride out the vision.

~Soldiers~ ~Running~ ~Fear~ ~Woods~ ~Xander~ There was more, but it was fuzzy and Xander couldn't quite grasp it.

When Xander finally lay still once again, Wesley rolled him over and got out of bed to fetch him a glass of water and some painkillers.

"Should I call Angel or should we just go over?"

"I'm not sure. This one didn't make a lot of sense. There were these soldiers, chasing someone? I think it was me - but not me. Does this make any sense, Wes?"

"No, not really. Was there anything else?"

Xander closed his eyes and concentrated. Lately the visions had gotten increasingly more painful and it was harder to recall the details. He tried to pay more attention as he reviewed the information.

"Shit! Get dressed. We gotta go see Angel, now."

"What is it? Xander, you're scaring me."

Xander stopped and pulled Wesley into his arms. He held him for a minute before pulling away.

"There was someone else in my vision. Someone I was trying to help."

"Who?"

"Spike. That's why we need to talk to Angel. I mean why the hell would I be helping Spike? The bastard tried to kill me, he tortured Angel, and I won't even mention the things he called Doyle."

Wesley nodded and began dressing. He was worried about Xander’s health. The visions were getting worse and causing his lover to practically have a seizure each time he experienced one. Though he was glad the vision hadn't come any earlier. Say, when Xander was giving him a blowjob. He really didn't want to have his penis bitten off!

Xander woke to the sound of voices downstairs. He wondered how long he had slept… He opened one eye and peered at the clock beside the bed. It was after 11 A.M.; that meant he had slept at least ten hours. He wondered who was downstairs with Giles.

"Only one way to find out."

Xander pulled on the socks and t-shirt, having slept in the pants, and after once more tucking his journal into the back of his pants, left the room. He made a quick stop-off at the bathroom to freshen up, wishing he could jump in the shower and scrub himself raw. Again.

The first thing he noticed as he started down the stairs was that Spike was sitting on the sofa and Riley and Buffy were arguing with Giles in the kitchen. He studied the blonde vampire for a minute. He looked like Spike, except he seemed ... broken.

"Hey, Spike."

The vampire swung around to look at him, wariness written on his face. He didn't speak, but he didn't look away either. Xander figured it was the best he was gonna get and took a chance.

"Look, I don't know how long I have until they come back in here, so listen up. I'm not from here; this isn't my dimension. In my world, we're ... friends. I don't like Riley and I think what he is doing to you is wrong. I'm going to try and get you away from here."

Spike still looked sceptical but nodded at him. Then with a move that was pure Spike, cocked one eyebrow and tilted his head.

"Why?"

"I told you. In my world, we're friends. Hell, we were roomies for a while after you got chipped. Just try to trust me okay?"

Whatever Spike might have said to that, Xander would never know because in that instant, Riley walked through the door and Spike went back to what he was doing before he had spoken - nothing. Xander tried to look innocent and shrugged at Riley.

"Hey, how do you keep him quiet? The Spike on my world never shuts up."

Xander really didn't like the feral grin that Riley gave him as an answer. Nor did he like the way Spike flinched away when Riley strode toward him. It was all Xander could do not to throw up when Riley tipped Spike’s head back and wrenched his mouth open. There were holes where there should have been teeth. Teeth that would grow into fangs when his face changed.

"It learned not to disobey me. It wasn't easy at first but eventually the training took. It doesn't do anything without my permission, including speak."

Xander swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat and tried once again to act casual.

"Hmm, so how many vampires do you own, or is this a one-of-a-kind?"

"This one is mine. It's a prototype. I'm working the bugs out, so to speak. We believe that with the chips and the right training, demons could be taught to serve humanity; free labour if you will."

"Like undead houseboys?"

Xander gave the patented goofy-Xander grin and Riley actually laughed. He slapped Xander on the shoulder and headed back to the kitchen. Xander shook off the feeling of revulsion he had after being touched by him.

"I'd rather have that demon’s hands on me again than his."

Spike snorted.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

Xander swung around to look at Spike. He hadn't expected him to talk to him again, not after the way he had just acted with Riley. The look in Spike’s eye told Xander that there was more to this 'training' than beatings and fang-removal. He almost didn't want to know.

"Does he ... hurt you?"

"What do you think. Look, you serious about helping me?"

"Yeah, very."

"Then call my Sire."

"Dru?"

"Angelus! Dru couldn't help herself out of a corner with a map and a flashlight. Please, call my Sire. Tell him..."

"I will. I promise."

Spike nodded and went back to ignoring everything around him. Xander slowly let out a breath and tried to put on a goofy face as he walked into the kitchen to meet the others.

~PART 11~

When Xander walked into the kitchen, Buffy eyed him warily. She didn't remind him of his Buffy at all. This girl was cold, cynical, and hard. He tried to set her mind at ease by giving her the patented 'Xander is a goofball' grin. It wasn't working.

"Hey Buff. How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Amazingly well for a guy who just spent the last two weeks fighting for his life in a hell dimension."

Buffy didn't seem impressed but, surprisingly, Riley did. The soldier looked Xander over from head to toe and then nodded.

"You must have done well. I'm impressed. Military background?"

"Well, I was possessed by a soldier once on Halloween. But mostly, what I know, I learned from helping Buffy."

This peaked Buffy's interest and she perked up.

"So, you still work with me where you're from? Not Angel?"

"Deadboy? No way! Still a scooby, through and through."

That made Buffy smile, something Xander wasn't sure this version of his friend knew how to do. It warmed his heart to see at least a small trace of the girl he knew reflected in the woman in front of him.

"So, I was thinking. I could be here for a while and I should at least know the basics of what the situation is here in this world. Any big nasties on the current agenda?"

"Nope. All clear on the hostile front. We took out a large nest of vampires just outside of town two nights ago. Things have been quiet since."

Xander nodded to Riley and then turned to Buffy.

"Is it okay if I ask a question - it's kinda personal?"

"Shoot."

"Did you die here? See, ‘cause on my world, you died in the battle with Glory. I've been trying to figure out if there was some way we could have stopped that."

Buffy looked sad and Riley put an arm around her. Giles glared at Xander and Xander suddenly felt very afraid of the older man. He stepped back and said he was sorry.

"It's okay. No, I didn't die here. Dawn did. Before the ritual, she was coming home from school and was... "

Buffy broke off with a sob. Xander felt like an ass. He wished he hadn't asked the question now. No Dawn meant that Buffy was truly alone in this world, no family to fall back on at all. No wonder she was so cold and hard. He was so caught up in his guilt that he almost missed the look that passed between Giles and Riley. Almost.

"Um... I think I'll take a walk around town. See what's different here. Besides, after two weeks in that place, I really feel like I need the wide, open space and plentiful fresh air. So, can I come here later?"

Giles looked up from the book he was studying.

"Oh, of course. I still have a great many questions I would like to ask you, as well."

"Sure thing G-man!"

Xander grinned and then made for the door. He spared a quick glance at the vampire on the sofa before leaving. Spike sat just as he had before Xander entered the kitchen. He wondered if the vampire were allowed to move without permission.

Angel awoke to the sound of loud knocking on his bedroom door. He groaned and rolled out of bed. The only reason for him to be awake at this time of the day was if Xander had a vision. He grabbed his slacks and tugged them on as he walked to the door. He just finished doing up the button and was pulling on a shirt when the knocking started again.

"I'm up! Hang on."

Angel opened the door to find a haggard looking Wesley waiting for him. He didn't see Xander and was about to ask where he was when Wesley answered his question.

"Xander is in the office, he's had a vision regarding himself, some soldiers and ... Spike."

Angel’s eyes locked on to Wesley’s and he growled. The last time he had seen Spike, the younger vampire was watching amusedly as another vampire ran hot pokers through his body. He stormed down the stairs to the office. He wanted to know exactly what Xander’s vision had been.

A few minutes later, Angel was still trying to figure out what he was supposed to do with the information Xander had given him when the phone rang. Without even thinking Angel picked it up.

"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless. How can I help you?"

There was a pause on the other end before the caller spoke.

"Deadboy, don't hang up. This is going to sound seriously fucked up, but it's me, Xander."

Angel looked at his seer, who was currently lying with his head in Wesley’s lap, while the English man massaged his lover’s temples and tried to soothe away his headache.

"Okay, explain. 'Cause from where I'm sitting, you're here in my office."

"Shit! All right, short version. I'm not from this reality. I think my ex-fiancé - who is an ex-vengeance demon by the way - cursed me. I've been hopping from one reality to another for a while now. I showed up here last night, and Spike is in big trouble. He needs your help."

Angel smacked his forehead on his desk several times. Xander’s vision was beginning to become clear. Two Xanders, and now he had to save Spike. Redemption was dirty business sometimes.

"What has Spike gotten himself into this time?"

Wesley and Xander, who had been following the one-sided conversation as best as they could, stiffened at the tone of Angel’s question. They knew by the resignation in their boss's voice that they were going to be saving a vampire very soon. They just wanted to know why.

"There's this military group here in Sunnydale, called the Initiative. They're bad news, they capture demons - any demons - and experiment on them. The got a hold of Spike. They put a chip in his head that keeps him from hurting humans. He can't defend himself, Angel. But that's not the worst part. Riley, Buffy's new boyfriend, is one of them, and he now owns Spike. Angel, he pulled out his fangs."

Angel growled and damn near crushed the phone in his hand. He didn't like Spike, but he was still family, and his demon side roared at the injustice of what had been done to his childe. He looked over at his co-workers and sighed. He hated dragging them into danger but he would need their help on this one if he were going to rescue Spike.

"We'll leave when the sun sets. Where are you staying?"

"Giles’ place. But don't come here. I'll meet you at the mansion on Crawford Street. It's probably the safest."

"We'll be there two hours after sunset."

Angel didn't say goodbye. He just hung up the phone and waited for the questions to start.

Xander hung up the phone and headed for the park. He was in no hurry to go back to Giles’ place any time soon. The man gave him the creeps. There was just something not right about the way he and Riley interacted. Back home, it was no secret that Giles didn't care much for the Initiative or Riley Finn in particular.

Upon reaching the park, Xander found a secluded bench and pulled out his journal. He was really glad that he had this; he thought he might keep up the tradition if - when - he got home. It did seem to help him figure out his thoughts.

~PART 12~

Rather than go back to Giles’ place, Xander wandered around town until the sun began to set. He knew Angel would be leaving L.A. any time now, and he was looking forward to meeting the Xander of this reality. If he could not only put up with, but also actually work for Angel, he must have either the patience of a saint or a masochistic streak a mile wide.

He found himself wandering through one of Sunnydale’s cemeteries. He knew it wasn't a very smart thing to do, but from what he had been told, this Sunnydale wasn't the vamp-infested town that his Sunnydale was. Besides, he was hoping to catch sight of Buffy and Riley. If he was lucky, maybe he could get Spike away from them and make a break for the mansion.

Xander heard noise up ahead and slowly crept forward to investigate. It looked like Buffy and Riley had found some trouble after all. There were a couple of large greyish demons, both armed with broadswords, circling them. Xander didn't see Spike anywhere close but that didn't mean he wasn't nearby. The vampire was very good at stealth. Riley's stun gun was having no effect on the demons and they were closing in. Buffy wasn't doing so well holding off her attacker. It seemed this slayer wasn't as good as his Buffy. That, or she had gotten sloppy, letting the commandos do most of the work.

Riley let out a loud whistle and seemingly out of nowhere, Spike attacked. He was vicious and bloodthirsty, attacking the demons with fists and feet. Xander saw him go into game-face and wince at the pain his transformation caused. It just made him all the more determined to help Spike escape from these people.

Once the fight was turned back in their favour, Riley and Buffy went on the offensive. Spike was left to watch and be ready in case he was needed to fight again. Xander took the opportunity to sneak closer. Spike must have smelled him approach for he turned and looked at him.

Xander motioned for the blonde to follow him and slowly crept away. Spike looked around to make sure that he wasn't being watched before following him. Once they were far enough away to talk without being overheard but still close enough for Spike to hear the fight, they stopped.

"Angel is on his way."

Spike gasped in surprise. He hadn't really thought the human would call his sire. And even if he did, he hadn't really expected Angel to come this quickly.

"Now?"

"Yeah, he said as soon as the sun set he'd head out. I'm supposed to meet him at the mansion. The one on Crawford Street - you know the place?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then come on. If we get there now, and lay low, we can leave as soon as Angel gets there."

Xander grabbed Spike’s arm and began pulling him away. Spike struggled with himself to follow, but his 'training' kept nagging at him that he was supposed to stay with his master. That he would be caught and then punished for running away again. Xander felt Spike slowing down and almost growled in frustration.

"Come on. Spike, we have to go!"

"I know. I just..."

Xander knew all about conditioning thanks to his soldier memories. He knew that Spike was having difficulty disobeying his programming, but they didn't have time for this right now.

"Spike. Riley Finn is an asshole; he isn't worthy of you or your protection. Let the big grey bastards eat him and let’s go! I promise, I will stake you myself before I let him get his hands on you again. Okay?"

Spike looked at Xander in awe.

"You will?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

Xander took Spike’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I promise. Now come on before they realise you're missing."

Spike and Xander ran from the cemetery in the direction of Crawford Street. They stuck to the shadows as much as possible and then cut through Miller’s woods. They were more than halfway there when they heard a group of people behind them. Xander swore softly and Spike sped up dragging Xander behind him.

"Soldiers?"

"Probably, yeah. They patrol the town nightly."

"You think they saw us?"

"Don't know. Keep running."

As they continued to run toward the mansion, a thought suddenly occurred to Xander. The Spike in his world had a tracking device implanted by the Initiative; it made sense that this Spike did as well.

"Tracking device."

Spike spun around and looked at Xander.

"What?"

"My Spike ... er, that is to say, the Spike in my world had a tracking device. Okay it was shot into him from a rifle, but still. Is there a possibility that you have one?"

Spike thought about the last -and only - time he had run away from Riley. He hadn't made it further than the bus station when he was rounded up by a group of soldiers.

"Bugger! How do we get rid of it?"

"Dig it out. Problem is we have to locate it first. Hopefully they aren't looking for you yet."

They continued to run toward the mansion hoping that either Angel would be early or that the soldiers weren't following them. It was still only an hour or so after sunset. If the soldiers were following them ... they were in a world of trouble.

Xander spotted the mansion up ahead and with renewed vigour increased his pace. He couldn't believe that he was relying on Angel, of all people, to save him - especially after the place he had just come from. Oh well, he would hit him after they were safe and sound in L.A.

The front door of the old house was locked up tight so they made their way around the back and broke in through the basement window. Spike pulled his lighter out of his coat and lit the way to help Xander see their surroundings. The basement was dusty and dank but at least they were safely inside. Now if only Angel would get there soon.

~PART 13~

Angel could sense Spike’s presence as soon as he pulled into the driveway of the old mansion. Unfortunately he could also sense several humans as well. He leaned over the back seat and informed his co-workers. If these soldiers in Xander’s vision were the same ones that had captured Spike - and it was probable that they were - they would know he was a vampire on sight. As much as he hated it, he had to let Wesley and Xander do the first search of the house and the grounds.

Xander and Wesley were checking around the side of the mansion when they heard footsteps approaching. Xander quickly pushed Wesley into the wall and began kissing him passionately. When three armed soldiers came around the corner - weapons drawn - the lovers pretended to be startled.

"Stand down!"

The man in the lead ordered the other two to holster their weapons while he looked at Xander and Wesley with unhidden disgust. Xander licked his lips and eyed the soldier appreciatively. It was the easiest way he could think of to get rid of them. Most homophobes thought gay men were all perverts who would fuck anyone. In this case, Xander was hoping to use that to his advantage.

"Look Wes, soldier boys."

Xander purred in his most seductive voice. It took Wesley a few seconds to catch on but once he did he played along.

"Mmm, very nice. Haven't had a military de-briefing before. You boys want to play?"

The soldier looked at the two in disdain and backed off. He nodded for his men to move out before backing away even further.

"You should go home. It isn't safe out here at night."

That said, he quickly left to catch up with his men. Xander looked at Wes and grinned.

"A de-briefing? Wes, that was great! Looks like I'm rubbing off on you."

Xander raised his eyebrows in a cheeky manner at him. Wesley just smiled and took Xander’s hand. They continued to make their way around to the back of the house. They spotted the broken window and were about to climb in when Angel joined them.

"The humans are gone. How did you manage that?"

"Homophobia."

Xander winked at Angel and then dropped down through the window. Wesley and Angel followed right behind him. Angel could hear three heartbeats. He assumed the third one belonged to the other Xander and began to hone in on it. Wesley and Xander followed behind him as he led them further and further into the basement. When they reached the door to the room with the furnace and water heater, Angel stopped.

"Spike, I'm here. Come out."

A few seconds later, Xander stepped out of the room. He looked at Angel, then at Wesley, and then lastly at himself. He shook his head and ducked back into the room. Angel could just make out Spike’s voice as Xander talked to him. A few minutes after that, Xander returned dragging a somewhat wary Spike behind him.

"Okay, Deadboy. Let’s get the hell out of here before Finn and his commando boys come looking for Spike."

The other Xander chuckled and then grinned at his double.

"Deadboy. Haven't used that one in years, I think I miss it."

"I don't!"

Angel growled and spun on his heel. He stopped below the window and listened. Once he was sure it was safe, he jumped up and grabbed the ledge before pulling himself through. He reached down for Wesley who gave him his hand allowed the vampire to pull him up. The Xander of this world was next.

Spike and Xander stood underneath the window and looked at each other. Spike was still heedful of getting caught and he didn't know if he could actually do this. Maybe he would be better off just asking Xander to stake him. The boy said that they were friends in his world, and he had helped him to escape. Would he do this as well? Put him out of his misery? Xander broke into the vampire’s thoughts.

"Your turn, bleach boy. Up you go."

"Why me? Why don't you go first?"

"’Cause I don't trust Angel to pull me through the window. He'll probably bash my head 'accidentally' or drop me on my ass. You go first and then help me up."

Spike grinned at Xander’s distrust of Angel. This human was amusing; he could see why he would be friends with him. Spike grabbed the window ledge and pulled himself through before reaching back in for Xander.

Once they were all outside they headed for Angel’s car in a hurry. None of them had the desire to stay longer than necessary. Xander jumped into the back seat and Spike got in beside him. He knew Spike didn't exactly trust the other humans in the car, and his relationship with Angel was tenuous at best. He figured it would be better if he sat beside Spike on the way to L.A.

Wesley and the other Xander piled into the front seat with Angel. Neither man wanted to sit any closer to the blonde vampire than they had to. He might be chipped, and also the victim of this particular vision-inspired rescue, but he was still a demon.

The ride back to L.A. was made in relative silence. Spike fidgeted and squirmed in his seat until Xander took both of his hands in his and held them. He figured this was the easiest way to calm him; touch always seemed to work for him when he was scared or nervous. Spike actually offered him a slight smile and relaxed a bit. Xander didn't relax until they reached L.A.

Angel parked the car at the hotel and everyone got out. Wesley and Xander made their excuses and beat a hasty retreat. Angel had already told them earlier that day that they should stay away from the hotel for the next couple of days. He needed time to make sure Spike wasn't a threat to them before they came back.

Xander looked around the lobby and whistled. The place was huge. He had never been to see Angel in L.A.; he had no reason to visit, after all. He hated Angel, and he and Cordy weren't exactly on speaking terms. Willow had told him about this place, but seeing it was another thing entirely.

"So, is there room here for the two of us or do we need to find a hotel?"

Spike snorted and then looked around nervously. He would need time to overcome his conditioning. Angel noticed his childe’s behaviour but didn't say anything. Instead he turned to Xander and frowned.

"You know, you're nothing like the Xander I know. He grew up."

"Yeah well ... You’re exactly like the Angel I know - still a depressing, broody bastard with no sense of humour. Oh, and I wanted to ask? Just what the hell were you thinking with the whole 'open Acathla and suck the world into hell' plan, huh? ‘Cause I just spent two weeks in that reality, you asshole, and let me tell you I was lucky to make it out alive and ... untouched!"

Xander felt all the rage he had stored up inside him bubble out, and before he knew it he swung out and decked the stunned vampire. He shook his arm to lessen the impact pain and let out a calming breath. He smiled at Spike and then turned to Angel who was rubbing his jaw.

"Well. I feel better. Now about those rooms?"

Angel gaped at Xander, and Spike burst out laughing. Maybe he'd be all right after all.

~PART 14~

Angel showed Xander and Spike to a couple of rooms right across the hall from each other. He made sure they were far enough away from his so as not to disturb him, but still close enough that he could keep an eye on Spike. For all the camaraderie between them, he still didn't trust Spike not to try to eat Xander.

After showing them to their rooms, Angel made the mistake of asking if there was anything else that they needed. Xander immediately answered that food would be a good thing, and possibly some clothes so he could shower. Angel gave them directions to the hotel’s kitchen, and then disappeared into his room to find suitable clothing for his ... guests.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Xander was making himself a couple sandwiches while Spike tried to figure out how to work Angel’s ancient microwave in order to heat his blood. It was not going well.

"Bloody hell! The bleedin’ poof lives in a fuckin' hotel for Christ’s sake - you'd think he could buy a microwave than doesn't have a dial on it."

Xander chuckled and walked over to see what the problem was.

"Oh, I remember these. My grandparents had one, you have to turn this and then push that. See? 'Sides, I'm surprised Deadboy even has a microwave, I didn't think he could wrap that Cro-Magnon brain of his around the concept of modern technology."

Spike turned and studied the human who had, for lack of a more accurate description, saved him. He noticed that while he was open and friendly with him, he was downright rude and snarky to Angel. He figured it couldn't be just an 'all demons are bad' thing, otherwise the boy would have left him to Finn. He wondered what Angel had done to him.

"You really hate him don't you?"

"Who Angel? Yeah, I guess I do."

Xander was just finishing making his sandwiches and cleaning up after himself. Spike retrieved his blood from the microwave and walked over to join him.

"How come? I mean if you hate him, which you obviously do, how come you’re here?"

"It's complicated. Angel and I have never liked each other. Plus there is that whole ‘suck the world into hell’ thing. That place was horrible. God, I can still smell it, hear the sounds when I close my eyes. If I hadn't shifted out when I did..."

Xander shuddered as he once again felt the clawed hands on his skin, the slimy tongue tasting his skin. He noticed Spike looking at him oddly and shook it off.

"Anyway, in my world, he offered me to you as a snack on parent-teacher night. He was trying to fool you, or so he would have everyone believe. Personally, I think he'd have been happy if you had eaten me."

Spike couldn't help but grin at the image of his sire presenting him with this tasty young man as an entree. It never would have worked; Angelus would have turned the boy, not eaten him.

"That never happened here. I would remember something like that. So, you still didn't answer the question. Why are you here?"

"Better than there. I mean, at least here I know what to expect. Angel is a vampire; he has a soul, yada yada yada. There? Those people are not normal. They're nothing like the gang in my world. I think Riley and Giles had Dawn killed, and look at how they treated you. Okay so yeah, we chained you up in the bathtub until we were sure you couldn't hurt us, but we fed you and didn't... torture you."

Spike smirked at Xander and raised an eyebrow.

"Chained me in the tub? Well, better than having me fangs ripped out. Any other little bondage scenarios you'd care to share?"

"Uh, I ah ... tiedyoutomybarkaloungerwhenyoulivedwithmeinthebasement."

"You tied me to what?"

"A chair. In my basement. So you couldn't eat me in my sleep. It was stupid, but I was scared of you."

Spike puffed up a bit at that information. It had been a long time since anyone had admitted to being afraid of him. He could have wept for the sheer joy of it. Instead he smiled at Xander and then drained his mug. Xander watched the vampire feed with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. Whenever he'd seen his Spike feed, the vamp had gone into game face, this Spike didn't. It was weird seeing him drink blood while looking human.

"Hey, Spike? If we didn't meet on parent-teacher night, when was the first time you tried to kill me?"

"Well, there were a bunch of times. Let’s face it, hanging out with the slayer will make you a target. I think it was that time I kidnapped the witch; any other time, you just happened to be around when I went after the slayer - wasn't personal then."

Xander couldn't help but grin at the matter of fact statement. It was true; hanging out with Buffy did make him a target. But in the end, what he was doing - helping to save the world - was worth it. Spike rinsed his mug and headed for the door before turning back to Xander.

"So. You think the old poof has a telly?"

Angel had been listening to the conversation between the two in the kitchen. He began to understand this version of Xander a little better. In this reality, while he and Xander did have their problems, it was nothing like what the other Xander had just described. He had to wonder what his double was thinking trying to pass Xander off as food to Spike. Angelus would never have shared something as sweet-looking as Xander; he would have kept him around for weeks, breaking him in before turning him. His double must have been pretty dumb to think that even Spike wouldn't see through that plan.

He wondered what had possessed this version of Xander to help Spike, not that he didn't think he should have. He just wondered why. It wasn't as if they were friends - hell they didn't even know each other. Unless the Spike of his world was different than the one here, he couldn't see them being in the same room with out bickering and insulting each other.

He moved away from the door just in time to avoid being hit with it as Spike - followed by Xander - walked toward the back staircase and up to their rooms.

After a long hot shower, Xander was grateful to slide into the satin pyjama pants that had been left for him - even if they were Angel’s. He was extremely worn out from the running earlier that night. Take that, added to the stress of the past couple weeks and finding out that the people he should have been able to trust were monsters with his friends faces - it was no shock that he was falling asleep on his feet. He did feel sorry for Buffy; he was sure that she had no idea what had really happened to Dawn, even though she was taking Spike’s slavery in stride.

Spike had showered, dressed, and wandered downstairs to find a book or something to occupy himself with. Angel didn't have a television - big shock there - so he was bored. He was also trying not to think about where he should be, where some part of him insisted he belonged - at his master’s side.

Spike snarled and punched the wall in frustration. He hated this, being neutered and de-fanged. Helpless to defend himself, forced to kill his own kind under the orders of what should be his food but was in reality his owner. He heard Angel come up behind him and spun around to face him.

Angel took one look at his childe’s demon face, gaps where his fangs should be, and almost wept. At his worst, Angelus had never taken William’s fangs. He had beaten him, fucked him raw, starved him and left him strung up in chains for days on end, but he had never done anything like this. Even Angel, soulboy and champion for the Powers, considered this to be wrong. It would have been more humane to stake Spike then to make him live like this.

"What do you want, Poof?"

Angel tore his gaze away from his childe’s face and lowered his eyes. He didn't want Spike to see the pity in his eyes; it would only enrage him further.

"I thought you might be restless. I wondered if you wanted to check out the training room maybe spar for a bit. I haven't had a good work-out partner in a long time."

Spike grinned at Angel. He was actually looking forward to this. It had been far too long since he'd fought against his sire, and it was a good way to relieve some of his stress.

"Sure Peaches, lead on."

~PART 15~

Two hours later, two battered, weary, and bloody vampires trudged up the stairs of the hotel to their rooms. They had started off with light sparring, but it rapidly turned into something of a brawl. Angel had forgotten how fast Spike was, and how quick he was to learn his opponents’ weaknesses. All the years apart had made his childe a finely honed killer. He knew that Spike needed the release that a fight would give him; he had never liked being helpless in the past, a fact that Angelus had used in his favour. Besides, he figured if he wore Spike out, it might save him some repair costs to the hotel.

Spike was looking forward to a long hot shower and then a good night’s sleep in an actual bed. He had been sleeping on an old army cot while staying with - being held prisoner by - Riley. The thought of a real mattress, clean comfortable bedding, and a soft pillow was almost enough to make him skip the shower but he was covered in blood and sweat, so a shower was definitely needed.

Angel showered quickly and then called Wesley and Xander to check in. He wanted to keep them up-to-date on his guests and the situation in the hotel. He didn't have much to report, but figured they would appreciate the call.

"Hello?"

"Wes, it's Angel."

"Ah, how is everything there?"

"Good. Just thought I'd call and let you know I'm not dust."

"Very thoughtful of you."

"Could I speak to Xander for a minute?"

"Of course, one minute Angel."

There was a pause while Wesley put the phone and went to get Xander. Angel could hear the approaching steps on the other end of the line just before Xander spoke.

"Hey Deadboy! What's up?"

Angel growled in annoyance. He hated that nickname and was overjoyed when Xander had stopped using it. However, thanks to this other Xander it looked like it was going to be a frequent insult again.

"I really hate that name, Xander."

"I know."

Angel could hear the laughter in Xander’s voice and tried not to smile along with him. It didn't work.

"Look, do you think you could pick up a few things for Xander and Spike tomorrow? You would know his size and I will give you the sizes for Spike. Also, I think I'm going to need some groceries; he eats the way you do!"

"Sure, just let me grab a pen and you can tell me what you want."

Down the hall from Angel’s room Xander was having a nightmare. He was back in his cell; the orange-and-purple demon was coming toward him. When the door opened, Xander ran. He ran as fast as he could but the thing still caught him. He struggled uselessly against it, kicking and hitting it. He could feel it smelling him, tasting him. When the clawed hands unfastened his pants he screamed. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it hadn't happened this way, he had shifted!

Xander was trapped by the demon; he couldn't escape. He continued to scream and fight, he looked over the thing’s shoulder and saw Willow watching from the doorway. She stared at him with her one green eye, blinking. Then she tilted her head ever so slightly and spoke.

"You left me to this, Xander. Why? Why did you leave me behind?"

Xander shook his head frantically as the demon’s hands roamed over his most private places.

"No! No Wills, it wasn't my fault. I wanted to save you, I didn't know how. Please. It wasn't my fault. Please."

The demon continued its assault, fondling his cock and balls - squeezing them painfully hard. He felt a long sharp claw reaching between his cheeks to probe at his anus and he screamed again. Willow began to laugh.

Spike had just finished drying off and pulling on a pair of sweatpants that Angel had left for him when he heard the scream. He knew all about those screams. They were the kind you made when you were helpless to do anything else. He shook his head sadly and left the room.

Xander hadn't locked his door so Spike was able to enter the room without breaking down the door. He took a look at the thrashing, moaning man on the bed and then sighed. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not but it had always worked with Dru, so he slid into the bed beside him and began to softly stroke the boy’s back while talking to him.

"Come on, pet. Wake up now. Just a dream s'all."

Xander stopped thrashing but he was still moaning and whimpering quietly. Spike continued to speak to him in the same low, soothing voice while petting him softly.

"You gotta wake up, Xander. I can't do nothing to help you in your dreams, pet. Come on. Wake up, that's it. Nothing here but you an' me."

Xander started to wake up slowly, shaking off the nightmare. He realised that he wasn't alone in his bed, and tensed up until he heard Spike’s voice. He wanted to cry he was so thankful. He didn't cry, but he did burrow into Spike’s arms and squeeze him tightly. Spike just continued to pet him and lay down next to the boy.

Angel hung up the phone with Xander and went down the hall to check on his guests; he thought he had heard screaming. When he looked in Spike’s room it was empty so he moved on to Xander’s. He cracked open the door and was shocked to see Spike in bed with the man, holding him and gently rubbing circles on his back. It was a familiar scene, but back then it was a different brunette that Spike held in his arms.

Spike was aware of Angel’s presence but didn't say anything. What was there to say? He wasn't doing anything wrong, Xander had rescued him, and he was just returning the favour. When Xander lifted his head to speak though, he put his finger to his lips to quiet him before glaring at the vampire in the doorway. Angel got the message and slowly closed the door.

"Sorry luv, didn't figure you wanted Angel listening in on something that's obviously private."

"Angel was here? Shit. Thanks."

"No worries. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not really."

Spike nodded and just continued to lay there in bed with Xander. He knew he should leave but the heat was nice, and he could do with a bit of comforting himself so he stayed. Eventually, he heard Xander sigh in frustration.

"It might help to talk, pet. You don't seem to be able to sleep."

"I know. It's just ... It's hard."

"Yeah, but hey you survived it yeah? So it's over with. Whatever it was, you lived through it."

Xander took a deep, calming breath and then slowly let it out. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to forget it ever happened, but he knew that it wasn't going to just go away, and maybe he would feel better if he told Spike. It couldn't make him look any girlier than laying here clinging to the vampire.

"It was awful, Spike. That place? It was so horrible, and I found Willow, only she was broken. She didn't know me, she never even looked at me or spoke or anything. I held her and ... nothing. She was so beaten, scarred. It was like looking at a person whose soul had left but the body kept living."

Spike nodded to let Xander know he was paying attention and continued to pet him, trying to soothe him. Xander stared off into space for a moment before continuing.

"Just before the shift - before I ended up in this reality, a demon took me out of my cell. He - it was going to ... rape me. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I was just too weak from fighting and not eating, it caught me."

Xander began to shake as the images assaulted him once again. He could hear Spikes low soothing voice speaking to him but he didn't understand the words. He was aware of soft cool hands rubbing his back and he sighed. It felt nice, being held and comforted. He was beginning to understand what the other Xander meant when he said Spike wasn't what he appeared to be. The man beside him was a caring, compassionate individual. Xander shook his head and began to talk again.

"In the dream, I didn't shift. After the demon tore my shirt, he licked my neck and then went for my pants. That's when it happened - the shift - but this time I was still there. Only I wasn't alone, Willow was in the doorway; she was blaming me for leaving her there. I tried to tell her that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't help her. The demon’s hands were everywhere, it grabbed my ... and then I felt its claws at my ... she was laughing at me, Spike. She laughed and said it was all my fault."

Xander broke down and began to cry. Spike held him tighter and let him. He wasn't sure what to do for him; when Dru was this upset he usually distracted her with sex. Somehow he doubted that Xander was looking to get shagged after that. Especially by a demon.

Spike held the sobbing boy and made quiet shushing noises as he stroked his hair. He waited until the boy fell asleep before trying to extract himself from the warm arms that had wrapped around him. Every time he got free of one, the other would tighten. Eventually he gave up with a chuckle and settled down to sleep. He just hoped the boy wasn't upset with him in the morning.

~PART 16~

Waking up this morning was a new experience in the ever-increasing weirdness that is my life. Spike was beside me, or rather under me, sort of. I remember waking up last night after having a terrible nightmare - Demons, Willow, yada yada. So not going into that. Anyway, Spike was there, in the bed, holding me and comforting me. I'm not ashamed to admit that I needed the comfort. I am surprised, however, that Spike was there. I mean yeah, I sorta saved him from Riley but I didn't expect anything from him. I'm embarrassed to admit that I cried like a baby while he held me after I told him about my dream. I'm not sure how to deal with him today; I mean, do I pretend it didn't happen?

So, what have I learned about myself so far on this little expedition? Ooh, big word, Giles would be so proud! I've learned that I am terminally attracted to Demons - ex or otherwise, and slayers. And apparently in at least one deviation, a former watcher. Why can't I ever just find a nice normal person to settle down with?

Xander closed his journal and stuck it back into his pants. He really needed to see about getting another backpack. He also needed to get dressed soon. He never knew when he was going to shift realities and he doubted any other Angel would be too pleased to find him in his kitchen wearing his jammies. The thought of the look on the vampire’s face actually made Xander snort in amusement. It might be worth it.

When Spike woke up he was confused by his surroundings. Usually, he was woken at dawn by Riley, dragged out of bed, beaten - sometimes raped - and then made to fetch his breakfast while his master showered. This morning, however, he woke on his own in a soft bed surrounded by the scent of a human that was definitely not Riley. It took Spike a few minutes to remember where he was and why, but once he did, he couldn't hide the smile that lit up his face. It hadn't been a dream; he was really here, in LA, safe with his sire and Xander. Xander who had rescued him and then broken down and cried in his arms. He couldn't blame the boy, from the sounds of things the place he had been was pretty rough. Not to mention just randomly popping around dimensions. Not exactly a trip to Disneyland.

Spike was no stranger to nightmares, or to crying for that matter. In the years that he had been in 'service' to Riley, he had endured tortures that would have made Angelus cringe. He'd had his fangs ripped out - several times; he'd been beaten and gang raped, buggered with a cross, given an enema with holy water, had his testicles removed - twice. He'd been starved for weeks, blinded, experimented on by mad scientists; had a chip shoved into his brain that crippled him for even thinking about hurting a human and then to top it all off, was forced to kill his lover of over a century.

Dru had shown up with Darla in tow; he still wasn't sure how the bitch had been resurrected. Buffy had found out they were in town and Riley used him as bait to lure them out. He wasn't supposed to stake her, the Initiative wanted to 'learn' about her visions. Spike couldn't let that happen, not after everything he had been through. So he staked her. The only thing that let him live with himself after that was the knowledge that she was better off in hell that at the mercy of Riley and his commando buddies.

He was not sure what happened to Darla; as soon as he staked Dru, Riley shot him with a tazer. He woke up strapped down to a gurney, an ache in his groin, and a grinning Riley looking down on him with a steel bowl in his hand. That was the first time he had been castrated. Good thing for vampires that their parts grow back - eventually. So yeah, if Xander wanted to cry, Spike wasn't about to stop him. Hell, he wished he had someone who would hold him when he cried. Not that he did a lot of that these days… He had gotten to the point where almost nothing could get to him anymore; he was close to the point of breaking. If not for Xander, Spike was sure that within months he would have been completely lost - a shell of himself that blindly obeyed Riley Finn.

Spike stretched and rolled out of bed. He crossed the hall to his room and grabbed his smokes out of his coat before heading downstairs to the kitchen. That was another nice thing about being here. He could feed when he was hungry, without having to beg for it.

~PART 17~

Spike found Xander in the hotel kitchen sipping coffee and reading a newspaper. He wasn't sure how the boy wanted to treat last night so he settled for a noncommittal grunt as a greeting on his way to the refrigerator. Xander snorted in amusement and cocked his eyebrow.

"I see some things don't change. Still as eloquent as ever first thing in the A.M., eh?"

"Piss off, m'tired. Somebody hogged all the blankets and I didn't sleep well."

Xander choked on his coffee and Spike smirked. That'd teach the boy not to insult him before he'd had his brekkies. Spike reached into the fridge and pulled out a large container of blood before setting it on the counter. When he turned around to get a mug from the cupboard he noticed that Xander was blushing and trying to hide behind the paper.

"Oh bugger! Look, I was just joking, all right? I'm not gonna take the piss with ya. Nothing wrong with needing comfort once in a while, especially after what you've been through. Tell ya the truth? I was glad for the company as well."

That seemed to shock Xander into responding as he dropped the paper and looked at the vampire.

"Really? So you won't say anything about..."

"Not a word. Promise."

"Cool."

Xander picked the paper back up with a sigh of relief and watched Spike move around the kitchen while he made his breakfast. He couldn't help but chuckle at Spike as he scowled at the ancient microwave again. When Angel walked into the kitchen an hour later, he was faced with a half-naked Spike laying on the table while Xander was running his fingers over his back and scowling. He watched for a few minutes trying to figure out what was going on. Once he realised that Xander seemed to be looking for something, he cleared his throat to get his attention.

"You ah, need any help?"

Xander looked at the puzzled expression on Angel’s face and smiled.

"Sure, know anything about tracking devices? I think Spike might have one in him somewhere."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because we're talking about the military; they don't like to lose what they consider theirs. Plus, I'm figuring this chip is a prototype, right? So it's probably expensive. They won't give up looking for him."

The severity of the situation seemed to dawn on Angel. He knew some people who might be able to help but he wasn't sure he trusted them to keep quiet.

"I can't say I know anything about tracers, but maybe Wes could do a locator spell on him? He's pretty good with magic."

Xander looked at Spike who shrugged his shoulders.

"Call him. I'll keep looking."

Angel headed out to the office to call Wes while Xander continued his search for the implant. He hadn't found anything so far, and he wasn't sure if he would either. There was a very good possibility that any tracking device the Initiative may have implanted would be buried deep.

"You find anything mate?"

"Nope, not yet. Want me to stop? Wes should be here in a half hour or so."

Spike shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. Truth was, he was worried about the watcher using mojo on him. He was never very comfortable around magic. Plus, Xander’s warm hands on his back felt kinda nice.

"If you want."

Xander sighed and continued to search. He knew Spike well enough to know what he wasn't saying. His Spike didn't like magic, so this one probably didn't either. He hoped he would find something, but knew it was likely that he wouldn't.

By the time Wesley showed up, Xander had done a pretty thorough job of searching the vampire. He didn't find the tracking device, but he did discover that Spike was ticklish - something he planned on using to his advantage if he ever made it home. See how big and bad he'd look while giggling like a schoolgirl… Just the thought of it made him snicker.

Xander - this world’s version - showed up about ten minutes after Wesley, laden down with shopping bags and boxes. Angel and Xander helped him bring everything into the kitchen while Wes set up his spell in one of the empty rooms. Spike was in the courtyard having a cigarette. He was still nervous about the spell but as Xander had pointed out, it was better than having Finn and his goon squad finding him.

Angel left the two Xanders in the kitchen while he went to fetch Spike. He wanted to get this over with quickly; the last thing he needed was a bunch of gung-ho soldiers storming his hotel. While emptying the groceries, Xander noticed his double watching him. He figured he was curious about him, in his situation he would be, so he turned, smiled and asked him if he wanted to know anything in particular. His double gave him a sheepish grin.

"That obvious huh?"

"Well yeah, but then it's not everyday you get to talk to yourself from an alternate reality."

The other Xander smiled.

"Kind of like Sliders, huh?"

"Yeah, kind of. So what would you like to know about my oh-so-fascinating life?"

"I'm curious about Spike, I mean are you two...?"

Xander chuckled. Then he shook his head.

"Not this time. There was one world though, the second one I ended up in. Don't tell anyone I said this, but they were cute together."

That made the other Xander choke. He couldn't grasp the idea of dating Spike. Sure Doyle had been half Brakken but he was a sweet guy, all heart. Spike was mean and nasty and would just as soon kill you as look at you. It just didn't make sense.

"I don't understand how you can take this so lightly. He's a soulless killer, how can you trust him? I mean, I work for Angel, I even kind of like the guy now but I don't trust him. One happy thought and he'd pull out my spleen, ya know?"

Xander tried to think of a way to explain his feelings about Spike, but the truth was he didn't really understand them himself. He had written in his journal that Spike was his friend. He had gone so far as to tell the Spike of this world that very same thing, but the truth was, before he'd left home on this wacky adventure, he had been just as close-minded about Spike as his double was. It wasn't until he really started to pay attention to Spike and 'Xan' that he saw who Spike really was under all the bluff and bravado.

"It's complicated. A few weeks ago, I would have asked the same thing. But now? I know what he can be, what he's capable of."

"So do I, and if you ask me you should have left him in Sunnydale. I don't like him, I don't trust him, and I won't come back here as long as he's staying in this hotel. Tell Angel I'll call him if I have a vision."

Xander watched in open-mouthed shock as his double walked out of the kitchen. He couldn't believe ... well, yeah he could believe.

"Jeez, was I this much of an ass before all this started?"

~PART 18~

Spike fidgeted restlessly while Wesley finished preparing. He caught himself - several times - looking toward the door hoping Xander would come in. Of course every time he realised what he was doing it made him angry. He did not need a human to make him feel safe. It was humans who had hurt him this much in the first place. Besides that, Xander could disappear at any given time so it was best not to get attached. Nevertheless, he couldn't stop himself from letting out a relieved breath when the man came into the room.

"So, we all set? What exactly is this spell gonna do anyway?"

Wesley cleared his throat and looked toward Angel, after receiving a nod from the dark-haired vampire he answered.

"It should tell us if there are any foreign objects in his body and where they are located. A bluish light will surround him and then disappear. If there is anything there, the skin in the area of the object will remain glowing faintly for approximately five minutes. Long enough to mark the area."

"Will it hurt?"

Spike was glad Xander had asked that question as he refused to look weak in front of his sire and his sire’s human pet. Not that it mattered - he had been through a lot worse, he was sure.

"No, it won't cause any pain, however ... "

After a brief pause Xander prompted the man to continue.

"However what?"

"However, he will need to take off his clothes in order for the spell to be most effective."

Both Wesley and Xander blushed. Spike snorted and began pulling off his boots. Angel sighed and closed his eyes. It had been a very long time since he had looked upon his childe naked, and he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing the noticeable differences in his body. Spike had lost a fair bit of weight; he looked half-starved and Angel knew without even looking that he would resemble more of a living skeleton than a vampire.

"Can we just get this over with then?"

Spike wasn't concerned about his nudity; he was actually enjoying the discomfort it was causing the others. He didn't know what Angel’s problem was, he had seen it all before. But he knew why the watcher was blushing - he could smell his arousal. Xander just seemed to be embarrassed about being in the room with a naked man.

Angel held a marker in his hand while Wesley chanted. Once the spell was cast, Spike stood in a ball of glowing blue light. It seemed to seep into his skin and then fade away. Xander cursed softly when he saw the multitude of glowing blue spots adorning Spike’s pale skin. He was lit up like a Christmas tree.

Xander grabbed the marker from Angel as he was just standing there staring, and began marking the pattern of lights. Spike stood still, jaw clenched in anger and waited for him to finish. He counted sixteen marks all together by the time Xander had finished.

Xander grimaced at the thought of what Spike was going to have to go through. He knew that the mark on the back of his head corresponded with the behaviour modification chip, but what the hell were the other fifteen for? He knew without a doubt that one of them would be a tracer - maybe even two as a backup but what the hell else was in there?

"We're going to need to put him out."

Angel’s voice startled Xander who was still trying to figure out what all could be in the vampire. Spike shook his head.

"No."

"Spike..."

"I said no, Peaches. You will not put me out for this. Just give me a bottle of that Irish whiskey I know you have hiding in your room somewhere."

Angel sighed but nodded and left the room to fetch the bottle. Wesley gathered up his spell ingredients and headed for the door as well. He turned back when Xander spoke to him.

"Uh, Xander’s gone already, just thought you should know."

Xander shrugged his shoulders and Wes nodded before leaving the human and the vampire alone in the room. Xander looked around uncomfortably while Spike paced - naked - throughout the room. He was just about to offer to leave, to give him some privacy, when Spike spoke to him.

"Did this happen back in your world? Did your version of me have all..."

He gestured to the marks adorning his body.

"...this inside of him too?"

Xander shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't think so. See, back home after you escaped the Initiative you showed up at Giles’ and we grudgingly took you in. You spent some time chained up in the tub; eventually we realised you couldn't hurt us and let you out. You stayed with me for a while when Giles’ lady friend came to visit. I told you about the chair, right?"

Spike nodded and then Xander continued.

"The soldier boys were still out and about looking for you; they spotted you one night walking back to your crypt and shot you with a tracer. You showed up at Giles’ and we dug it out. It wasn't pretty. I don't think my Spike, er, the Spike back home has anything else in him other than the chip now. Of course, you've been stuck as their guinea pig for a hell of a long time now, haven't you?"

"Too bloody long. Did I thank you for getting me out of there yet?"

Xander chuckled and shook his head.

"Don't offer to thank someone when you’re naked, okay?"

Spike looked down at himself and smirked.

"I didn't think you went for blokes, pet. The other one does though, so maybe I'm mistaken?"

"Nope. Straight as they come! No interest in alternate lifestyles here. Nuh uh, no way."

"I get it, yer straight. Was only taking the piss with ya, mate."

Angel chose that moment to come back into the room, a bottle of whiskey and a very large first aid kit in his hands. He gave the bottle to Spike while he put some towels down on the bed and opened the kit. Xander wasn't surprised to see an assortment of scalpels, tweezers, needles and sewing thread.

"Anytime you’re ready Spike. Xander, you might want to leave. This won't be pretty."

"Yeah, but then who will play nurse?"

Angel sighed but nodded.

"Your call, just don't throw up or pass out."

It took nearly two hours, but in the end everything except the chip had been removed from Spike’s body. The vampire himself had passed out from the pain - or the alcohol - after about an hour. Xander had cleaned each piece of technology as it had been extracted. He recognised three of them as being tracking devices. The Initiative certainly wasn't planning on ever letting Spike get away. The others, however, he didn't have a clue about. He followed Angel back downstairs after helping to move Spike back to his own room. He wanted to know if Angel had any clue what the other things might be.

~PART 19~

Xander was packing his things into a bag that Angel had given him. It was more of a sports bag than a backpack but it would do for now. His double had - apparently at Angel’s request - brought clothes for him. He had brought some things for Spike as well, so Xander had taken them upstairs and left them on the bed beside the sleeping vampire.

Angel had no clue what the little bits of metal he had dug out of Spike were. Xander had pointed out the three tracers and Angel immediately smashed them and then flushed the pieces down the nearest toilet. Now if only they knew what the others were for… Angel said he had a friend - David something or other - who could probably find out so he went to call him, leaving Xander alone in the kitchen perusing the contents of the recently restocked fridge.

Spike woke up feeling like a truck had hit him. He groaned and rolled over in the bed, right into a pile of clothes that he assumed were for him. He chuckled at the idea of Xander making sure he got dressed before leaving the room. Maybe the boy wasn't as straight as he thought he was. Not that Spike was anyone to talk - he had never cared one way or the other what sex his partner was. Of course he wasn't planning on bending over for anyone anytime soon. He pulled on the jeans and shirt - a pretty good fit - and then shoved his feet into his boots. He stuffed a pair of socks in his duster pocket - he'd put them on later - and headed for the kitchen. He was starved.

He found Xander hunched over the counter scribbling away in a notebook. He barely spared him a look as he headed for the refrigerator. He must have lost a lot of blood earlier ‘cause he hadn't been this hungry in a long time. After pouring a large mug full and putting it in to heat, Spike drank the rest of the blood straight from the container - cold - he was that hungry. The microwave had barely signalled the end of its cycle when Spike grabbed the mug from within and drained it as well. His hunger sated, he was about to ask Xander if they knew what the hell had been inside him. He never got the chance.

Xander had just finished putting his journal away after writing down all the horrible details of what he had watched Angel do a few hours before. He knew Spike would want to know what they had found. He saw Spike open his mouth to speak before the hotel went dark and an alarm began to sound.

Xander shouldered his bag just as Angel ran into the kitchen. He tried to usher them toward the back hallway, and Xander caught him saying something to Spike about sewer access. Xander couldn't see where he was going and was grateful that Spike had grabbed hold of him and was pulling him along in the dark.

Suddenly there were bright lights and Xander could clearly make out the game faces of the two vampires before he heard Buffy's voice.

"Angel, step away from Spike. He's all we came for. Let us have him and no one needs to get hurt."

"I can't let you take him Buffy. I know what kinds of things have been done to him, I won't allow it to continue."

Xander wished he could see Buffy, he really needed to know if she was aware of what exactly her 'boyfriend' had done to the helpless vampire. Unfortunately the boyfriend in question took that moment to begin issuing orders.

"Take them all down, we'll retrieve the hostile afterwards."

Spike turned to run but only got a few feet before he was hit with a tazer blast. Xander screamed as he watched him fall. He rushed toward Spike and felt himself get hit, the last thing he remembered was landing on Spike before the darkness took him.

The first thing Xander saw when he opened his eyes was the arrow of a crossbow - pointed right at him. The second thing he saw was Faith, not the softer version he'd met before but the hard-as-nails-looking Faith he was familiar with.

"Fang! Get your ass in here, one of them is awake."

Xander moved to cover his ears when she started to yell but then thought better of it. He might not be a vampire but a bolt through the chest would still kill him. He watched Angel come through the door and sighed in relief. At least Deadboy wouldn't let her kill them. The fact that he was still sprawled on top of Spike’s back had not escaped his notice and he desperately wanted to move before the vampire came to. He didn't need Spike setting off his implant in a blind panic.

"Can I sit up now? Spike's too skinny to be a comfortable cushion."

Faith nodded but didn't put the bow down for a second. Angel continued to watch him and once he was up, the older vampire immediately flipped Spike over and shook him. Xander suddenly realised that there were no soldiers, no Riley and no Buffy. That could only mean one thing - he'd shifted again. And apparently taken Spike with him.

"Angel? I don't think you should do that. He's in pretty bad shape."

Angel stopped manhandling the blonde and looked at Xander.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't know how long we've been lying on your floor but just a couple hours before that, Spike had fifteen pieces of Initiative technology dug out of his body. He lost a lot of blood, and then he got shot by a tazer. So all in all, I think shaking him is probably a bad idea."

Angel seemed to consider this before letting go of Spike. He then turned to Faith and nodded for her to lower the weapon. He looked at Xander long enough to make the mortal uncomfortable before speaking.

"So what was that then? A teleportation spell? And what do you want with Spike? And while I'm at it, why bring him here, I mean won't your wizard be looking for you?"

"Um, not a spell. A trans-dimensional shift. I don't want anything with Spike; I just landed on him after I got blasted by one of Finn’s goons. We're here because I always end up in the same place as I left, and what wizard? I don't have a wizard. Do I?"

Spike chose that moment to groan and sit up. Xander went to his side and helped him. Angel watched the interaction between human and vampire with interest. Faith just rolled her eyes.

"If I'm not needed here, can I go? Cordy said she'd take me to that new leather shop in the mall."

Angel waved Faith away and turned back to Xander and Spike who were now seated side by side against the counter. Spike was looking around warily and Xander had a guilty expression on his face.

"Uh, Xan? What the hell happened? Last thing I remember, Farmboy and his friends were pointing guns at us."

Well ... I don't know how to tell you this, but I shifted out again ... and somehow took you with me. I think maybe 'cause I landed on you when I got shot."

Spike stared at Xander for a few minutes while he thought over the idea of being in an alternate dimension. In the end, he figured it had to be better than being recaptured by Finn or being dust, so he just shrugged and nodded once.

"Alright. I can live with that."

~PART 20~

Well, it seems I've made a huge mess of things. Leave it to me to screw up the universe, eh? Thing is, I don't regret it. I know if I hadn't landed on Spike, hadn't taken him with me, he'd be back in the loving custody of one Riley Finn and the Initiative. So how can I regret it? I am so glad Riley took off for the jungles of South America or wherever. I hate to admit that he had me fooled - he wasn't the country bumpkin I had him pegged for. Spike saw through his act, though, and maybe Giles a bit. I'm glad Buffy missed his chopper.

I still have the bag that the last Angel gave me so I now have more than just the clothes on my back. Unfortunately Spike doesn't. He's lucky he was wearing his boots and duster when he got hit, or rather I'm lucky. If he hadn't been I would have to listen to him complain forever.

Spike and I are gonna go out once the sun sets. I want to meet myself in this world, maybe he can teach me a spell to bind my belongings to me. That way I won't have to worry about carrying this damn bag wherever I go. Plus, I just want to get away from Deadboy for a while; he still gives me the wiggins. I know he's just one happy away from being Angelus again and that just does not inspire trust. Especially with both Cordy and Faith staying here; can you spell temptation boys and girls? I knew you could.

Xander put his journal away and went in search of his new travel buddy. That was another thing he had to figure out, what to do about Spike. He felt kind of responsible for the vamp; he was, after all, the one who dragged him into a strange new world. Could he just abandon him here? If you had asked him that before this whole mess started, Xander would have answered with a heartfelt yes. Of course that was before he had gotten to know Spike better.

"Hey Fan ... Blondie! You in there?"

Xander winced at his first choice of nickname for the vampire, he didn't think he'd ever be able to use that one in good conscience again. He heard a shuffling noise behind the door just before it swung open. Spike stood there in his jeans - unbuttoned, a towel over his shoulders, barefoot, with his hair still damp and tousled.

"Yeah? What's up?"

Spike motioned for Xander to come in and once he was in the room he closed the door and headed for the bathroom. He left the door open while he combed his hair back and applied gel to it. Xander was strangely fascinated to see Spike stand in front of the mirror while he groomed himself, as if it were of any use to him. He always thought it would be strange, trying to get your hair done, or shave or whatever without being able to see yourself.

"Hey Spike? Random vampire question - do you have to shave?"

Spike chuckled at him. He rubbed his smooth face as if in thought before answering.

"Not often. I never had much in the way of facial hair before I was turned, and of course afterward our hair grows so slowly it's not much of an issue for me. Angelus though, he grew a goatee and a moustache at one point. Darla hated it, plus it took him well over a year to get the thing to come in all the way. Funny as hell though whiles it was growing. Never seen anything so stupid."

Xander tried to picture Angel with a moustache and goatee. He couldn't help but snicker at the image. Spike knew what he was laughing about and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You should ask him to see the sketches. He had to know how it looked so he paid a local artist to draw him in various poses. ‘Course he ate the poor bugger afterwards, but the pictures were a riot. Bloody poof thought he looked good though."

Xander couldn't see himself asking Angel anything about Angelus. Hell he had spoken to the vampire more in the last two days than he had the entire time they lived in Sunnydale.

"So, besides random vampire questions, what brings you to my room?"

Spike pulled on a shirt and sat on the bed to put his socks on. Xander fidgeted with the gym bag on his lap and stood up. He began to pace as he tried to think of a way to broach the subject. He just couldn't find a way of asking that didn't sound like a cheap come-on. I mean 'hey Spike, do you want to be my travel buddy and keep me company on the long lonely trek across dimensions?' sounded like a pick-up line. Besides, Spike might not even want to come, he knew about the place Xander had been before his world. He wouldn't blame him if he just decided to stay here. Of course, the more Xander thought about having a companion on this trip, the more he welcomed the idea. He hated travelling alone, and having someone to share this with, someone who would understand, was an appealing idea.

"When we go to see the me of this world tonight, I was gonna ask him to put a spell on my things for me. You know, so that whenever I shift they'll come with me so I don't have to carry everything around all the time. I just wondered ... do you want to stay here? When I shift out? Or do you want to come too?"

Spike looked stunned. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He blinked a couple times and then tilted his head slightly to the left.

"You serious? You'd take me with you if you could?"

Xander shrugged and looked at the floor. He was somewhat embarrassed about wanting Spike to come with him.

"Yeah. So? Do you want to? I mean, we can ask him for a spell breaker or something if we end up somewhere you want to stay. You don't have to come home with me if you don't want to. That is, if I ever get home."

"Sure, mate. I got no reason to stay here, and my home world was no fun anyway, can't say I'll miss it. So why not? Could be fun."

Xander smiled and headed for the door. He turned back and looked at the vampire lounging on the bed. Who knew he would one day be travelling across dimensions with William the Bloody. Life was funny sometimes.

"I'm heading downstairs to eat before we go, you coming?"

"Sure, I'm a bit peckish."

The two headed for the hotel kitchen, both happy about the decision they had come to.

~PART 21~

Xander looked up when the door to his shop opened. To say he was surprised to see himself standing there with a vampire was an understatement. He looked over his shoulder and noticed that his lover had also seen the two enter. It wasn't that they didn't get the odd vampire in here from time to time, it was just that this was only the second time Xander had seen himself come through that door, and this time his double wasn't a vampire, and he hadn't accidentally summoned him.

"Okay, I know I didn't summon you, so who are you, why are you here, and why are you with Spike?"

Ethan came out to stand with Xander and looked over at their visitors. He leaned down and whispered in Xander’s ear.

"He's not a vampire; what do you suppose he's doing with William the Bloody?"

Spike snorted and elbowed the Xander next to him.

"Well, I must say I'm disappointed. I was expected babbling and death threats and possibly some fainting."

"Yeah, well. Sorry to disappoint, oh bleached one. Looks like this Xander is used to having himself walk in here, or something that sounds less stupid."

The Xander on the other side of the counter smiled. At least this one wouldn't want to turn him. He nudged Ethan and nodded toward the shelf behind him. Ethan turned and picked up a small orb before handing it to him. Xander addressed his double.

"So, what brings you here? And what's his deal, ‘cause I have to warn you, I have an orb of Thessula here and I know how to use it. Any trouble and your fanged friend there gets his soul back."

Spike gaped and surreptitiously slipped behind Xander. He had enough problems ta very much; he didn't need a soul on top of everything else.

"Hey, no worries. We come in peace. I just wanted to talk, maybe ask a favour?"

"Alright, we can go in the back. The vampire tries anything funny, he gets souled and you ... well lets just say green could be a very good colour for you."

Xander nodded mutely. He wasn't sure if he liked this possible version of himself. He was cocky, arrogant, and sure of himself. He reminded him of someone, he just couldn't grasp who it was.

Once they were all seated at a small table in the back, the Xander of this world spoke up.

"So tell me what brings you to my dimension."

After explaining how he ended up there, how Spike had been taken with him and what he was hoping his double could do for him, Xander sat back and rubbed his temples, he had a hell of a headache. Spike saw the pain on his face and scooted his chair in behind him and took over rubbing his head for him. Xander sighed in relief; Spike’s cool hands felt wonderful.

"I can do the spell you want, but first I have to know what kind of magic is affecting you. Do you mind if I do a revealing spell on you? It won't hurt, it'll just tell me if you are under the influence of any other magicks and what their intent is."

"Sure, do I have to move or anything?"

Xander chuckled at his double. He might not have any magical abilities, but it seemed he was able to charm a vicious vampire into caring for him.

"No, just sit and relax. I'll be back in a minute."

After Xander left the room, Spike stopped his soothing ministrations and turned Xander’s chair around to face him.

"I don't know about this pet, can we trust him?"

"Spike, we don't have much choice. It's either we trust him, or we get joined at the hip. That's the only way to assure that you come with me when I leave, and somehow I don't think that option would work out very well. I mean, I'm lucky I haven't shifted during a shower yet and ended up in some new world completely naked."

Spike shrugged his shoulders and spun Xander’s chair back around.

"If you say so."

Xander came back in, followed by Ethan. The two began setting up the spell while Spike went back to his earlier job of soothing Xander’s headache. He had started out doing it as an automatic response. He had done this back in Sunnydale for Riley; of course then it had been because he was ordered to do it. Now he did it because he wanted to, regardless of what Angel had said to him, he was not transferring.

"We're ready. Just relax and stay still. Spike you'll need to remove your hands from him."

Spike moved his hands and slid his chair back around beside Xander. He wanted to watch this spell and make sure nothing happened to his new-found friend. It had been a long time since Spike had had a friend, and he wasn't about to let some wonky spell take him away.

"It's done."

Spike had been so caught up in making sure Xander was okay, he hadn't heard the two warlocks casting their spell. He dubbed himself ten kinds of stupid for not paying more attention to what was going on around him.

"And? What kind of spell is he under?"

Xander and Ethan exchanged a look before Xander answered Spike’s question. Spike didn't like the look one bit. They knew something, something not good from what he had seen.

"It's vengeance magic. You mentioned you dated a vengeance demon?"

"Anya, yeah. We were engaged."

Xander sighed. He'd really hoped that Anya wasn't behind this, after all he had tried to explain to her why he'd done it. He was surprised to hear Ethan speak; the man hadn't said a word to him since he and Spike had shown up.

"Anya? I'm not familiar with that name?"

"Anyanka, actually. The patron saint of scorned women. There was an incident, long story. She became human, we dated, fell in love, got engaged and then I left her at the altar."

Ethan cringed at the idea of what that woman was capable of. He had heard tales of men who had been horribly disfigured or worse by the demoness, all in the name of justice.

"I must say, I think you got off easy, lad. I've heard tales of her deeds. You are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid to have pissed that woman off."

Xander snorted. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at his double.

"I don't suppose you can break the curse and send me home?"

"No. Sorry dude, but your stuck on this crazy roller coaster ride. But now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can do the other spell. You sure you want to take the vamp with you? I could think of less homicidal travelling partners."

"I'm sure. I dragged him into this after all. It's the least I can do, and we're friends."

What they weren’t saying was annoying Spike. He knew there was more to this and he wanted to know what else they saw.

"Tell him the other thing."

Xander looked at Spike, confusion on his face.

"They know something, luv. Something they aren't telling you."

Xander looked at his double and the wizard. He scowled slightly and his double sighed in defeat.

"Fine. It's not like I wasn't going to tell you. I just thought you might like some privacy when you found out."

"Found out what? Besides, obviously both of you know what it is so why the need for privacy?"

Xander looked over at Spike and then it made sense. Whatever it was they weren't saying, it was because of Spike.

"Okay, give me the basics and I'll decide whether or not I want this made semi-public knowledge."

Spike didn't have a clue what could be so secretive that the warlocks wouldn't want to say it in front of him. He was a bit concerned about Xander, and he wanted to know what was going on so he was relieved when Xander didn't automatically ask him to leave so he could find out in private.

"There is a second spell on you. Ethan recognised it right away, as it is identical to one I had on me when we first met. It's Wiccan in origin, Willow's work. Shall I go on?"

"Willow put a spell on me? Why would she do that? What is it for?"

The other Xander scrubbed at his face with his hands. He went through this a few years back; it wasn't going to be pretty watching his double go through it now. Thank God Ethan had been there to help him through it. Maybe Spike would help Xander to deal with the betrayal of a friend.

"Do you remember your birthday party that Willow and Jesse threw you - remember what happened that night? With Jesse?"

Xander nodded and blushed. He'd already had this conversation with himself once before.

"Yeah, and?"

"Have you ever thought about doing that since then?"

"Doing what?"

Xander raised his eyebrow at his befuddled double.

"Oh! No, um not since high school. Why?"

"That's the spell’s influence. It basically blocks those thoughts and urges. You know Wills was in love you, don't you?"

"Yeah. I know. But that was along time ago, why would she do that, and why not remove it by now?"

"She couldn't put a love spell on you, she wanted you to love her for real so she did the next best thing, she made it so she had a better chance by stacking the odds. As for why she didn't remove it? I don't know. I never asked her. I can remove it if you want."

Xander thought he was prepared for anything, but to find out that his best friend had fundamentally changed his whole life, taken away his choices, it shook him to his very core. No wonder his other selves were happy, they had the freedom of choice, something he didn't. He thought over his relationship choices. Cordy - well he wasn't under a spell's influence there. Was he? Just when had Willow done that spell anyway? The French teacher was definitely all him though, so was Impata. So really, it was just Anya, and possibly Cordelia that had been influenced by the spell. His other self that was involved with Faith was probably under a spell; he couldn't see himself willingly choosing to date the crazy slayer. But the others that he had met: the him that was so happy in his relationship with Spike, the one dating Wesley, and now this one who seemed to be doing well for himself out here in L.A. with Ripper's nemesis, they didn't act like the bumbling fool he knew he was. It was as if by having choices, they had been allowed to grow and mature as people - okay that crack about leaving Spike in Sunnydale wasn't really mature, but on the whole, they were more confident than he was.

So the question stood, did he want his double to remove the spell? On the one hand yes, he hated not being in control of his thoughts and feelings. But on the other hand, he was scared. He wasn't so sure he could handle having his entire world turned upside down. He snorted; he wasn't in his world, though, was he?

"Do it. I might as well face everything at once. I work well under pressure, go ahead and tighten the screw."

Xander nodded and left the room, Ethan followed behind him. Once they were gone, Spike put his hand on Xander’s shoulder.

"Want to tell me what that was all about?"

"No, but I will. If you're going to be travelling with me you should know the truth."

Xander closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. He let it out slowly and began.

"When I was fifteen, my best friend Jesse and Willow threw me a birthday party, I stayed at Jesse's that night and he kissed me. I pretended to be asleep and once he fell asleep I went downstairs and spent the night on the couch. We never talked about it, and after that he threw himself into the pursuit of one Cordelia Chase. I never forgot the kiss though, I was just scared."

"You were young, it's normal to be scared."

"I was scared because I liked it. See, my father wasn't a nice man and he'd get drunk a lot. He used to call me names sometimes, like ‘faggot’ and ‘no-good queer’. Once I realised what they meant, I was determined to never become what my father called me. So even though I loved Jesse - he was my best friend - I never acted on the feelings that kiss produced. After a while, after Jesse died, they just seemed to fade away. I never thought about why. Now I know."

Xander was trying not to cry as thought about all the pain and misery he might have been spared if he hadn't had this done to him. Would he even be in this hellish situation? Spike wasn't sure what to do to comfort the boy so he just waited in silence for Xander to continue. Eventually he did.

"Willow was in love with me, or thought she was. She put a spell on me to block my... bisexuality I guess. I mean, this isn't the first dimension that I've been gay in, obviously. Why would she do that to me? She saw how miserable my life was, how I was constantly struggling to fit in somewhere. I've always felt like I was missing something; I just thought it was because I didn't have super powers like all my friends, now I know that isn't it. She took a piece of me; she made me less than who I should be. Xander is going to remove the Spell; I'll probably change. I don't know who I'll be when it's done."

"You'll be who you were meant to be, Xander. That's all you can be. And hey, I'll still be here. I don't care if you're straight, gay, bi, whatever. I'm a vampire; we'll do just about anything. Take Dru, she really goes for the slime-and-antlers crowd. Not my cup of tea, mind you but to each his/her own."

"Thanks, Spike. I feel better."

Xander and Ethan, who had been listening outside the door, came back in with several jars and books. After arranging things the way they wanted them, Xander had Spike stand to one side of Xander while he bound them with magic.

It took several spells, but eventually Xander was free of Willow's spell and had both Spike and his possessions magically linked to him. Ethan gave him a small jar of oil and told him to dab it on anything else that he wanted to link to himself. Before they left, Xander stopped his double and pressed something into his hand. Spike stepped outside and lit a cigarette while he waited.

"In case you shift when you’re outside in the sun."

Xander looked at the ring in his hand and then looked back at his double.

"Is this...?"

"Yeah, it is. Take it. The damn thing has been nothing but trouble for me. You look like you could use it."

"How did you get it? I thought Buffy sent it to Deadboy?"

"She did, but Oz is a smart guy. Angel in the sunlight equals joy, which could lead to perfect happiness. So he gave to me instead. Could you imagine the carnage Angelus could cause if he were unstoppable?"

Both Xanders shuddered at the very idea of it. Xander stared at the ring; it was so small to be able to do so much. He wasn't sure if he should give it Spike, but after everything the blonde had been through didn't he deserve some reward? Besides, the sunlight was going to be an issue. The only problem was not letting Angel see it.

"Thanks man. You've been a big help. I wish there was something I could do to repay you."

"Don't worry about it. I've been there, sort of. Take care, and I hope you make it home, Xander."

"Thanks, me too."

~PART 22~

Xander kept the ring held tightly in his fist, hand inside his pocket, all the way back to the hotel. He was trying to decide whether or not to give Spike the ring - or at least whether or not to give it to him yet. This wasn't his Spike, after all; this one had been through a hell that he couldn't even imagine. Maybe this would make up for some of his mistreatment, maybe it wouldn't. One thing was certain, if he did give him the ring they couldn't stay at the hotel with Angel.

"Hey, Spike? How would you feel about going back to Sunnydale?"

Xander cringed under the look that Spike turned on him. He tried to remember that for Spike, Sunnydale was like Acathla's dimension to him. He took a calming breath and laid his hand on Spike's shoulder.

"This isn't your world, things won't be like that. If it makes you feel any better, we won't see any of them. I just want to be in Sunnydale when we finally get to my world, otherwise I might not recognise it. Okay?"

Spike reminded himself that this man had not only taken him away from Riley, but he had taken him from his own reality. Riley could never touch him again. He trusted Xander. If he said things would be okay, they would be.

"Alright, we'll go. But how the hell are we gonna get there?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead. Any ideas?"

Spike grinned and pointed to a motorbike parked a ways down the street. Xander followed his finger and when he saw the bike he shook his head.

"No. We are not stealing a bike. I'm not going to jail just for a ride to Sunnydale."

"You got a better idea? I'm all ears."

The truth was, Xander didn't have any better ideas. He rolled his eyes and then nodded at Spike.

"Fine, but you realise that we'll probably shift out halfway there and end up a smudge on the highway in the next world."

Spike chuckled.

"Not if you dab a bit of that oil on the bike. Never know when you might need to make a quick getaway."

Xander hated to admit it, but Spike was right. He definitely could have used a getaway vehicle in Acathla's world. He let Spike steal the bike and waited for him the next block over. Once Spike pulled up to the curb, Xander quickly drizzled a small amount of oil onto the bike and then climbed on.

After a very brief stop at the hotel to say goodbye - and for Spike to get some blood, they were on their way to Sunnydale. Xander held on tightly to Spike as the blonde sped down the highway. The way Spike drove, Xander wondered if he'd live long enough to get home.

It was almost dawn when they sped past the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign. Xander knew they had to find a place to crash so they headed for the cemetery; hopefully they could find an empty crypt to hole up in for the day.

"You know, I really need to get some money for emergency hotel rooms or something. The last time I hid in a crypt I got dragged off by demons and put in a cell."

Xander shuddered at the memory and Spike frowned. He had a few bad memories of his own with regards to crypts and Sunnydale. Finn had once left him tied up naked and bleeding in a crypt for days. Every once in a while, he or one of the other soldiers would come by and whip him or cut him open ... or worse. The Sunnydale Motor Lodge was starting to sound like the Ritz-Carlton right about now.

"I hear ya, but seeing as we're broke and I'm at serious risk of spontaneous combustion, I think we'd better pick a crypt and get inside."

"Okay, you're the graveyard-dwelling demon here, you pick."

Spike looked around quickly and pointed. Xander chuckled and shook his head.

"Figures. Back home that's Spike's crypt. How did I know you'd pick that one?"

"Well I better pick another then, cause we don't know if there is a me in the Sunnyhell of this world."

Spike pointed at a smaller crypt further back in the cemetery and they headed for it quickly. They yanked the door open and pushed the bike inside. Spike went in to check the place out while Xander waited outside. Spike popped back out briefly to give him the all clear and Xander followed him in.

Blue eyes blinked in shock and surprise a few feet away. If Spike was right, he had just seen himself go into that crypt with a human and a motor bike. He was absolutely going to check this out at sundown. Spike turned back toward his own crypt and slipped inside.

Inside, Xander and Spike were trying to get comfortable on the hard floor of the crypt. Xander was using his bag for a pillow and Spike had pulled his duster off and was using it for a blanket. They lay side by side in the farthest corner of the crypt, Xander between Spike and the door. He didn't want the vampire to get hit by any stray sunlight if someone happened to open the door.

Of course, he could have just given him the ring, but he was still unsure. He wanted to be positive he was doing the right thing before he handed it over. In the wrong hands, that ring was dangerous. Eventually exhaustion won out and they both fell asleep.

As soon as the sun set, Spike slipped out of his crypt and made his way quickly across the cemetery. He slowly and quietly opened the door to the crypt he had seen himself go into this morning. He looked around and found the two sleeping men curled up together in the corner of the crypt.

Even if he was blind he would know that was himself lying in the corner with a human man sprawled across his chest. He could smell it. He wondered what the hell was going on - the only thing he could think of was Red was working mojo again and screwed up. He wanted an explanation before he ran off and accused her; her wolf was quite protective of her, and still human enough that his chip would go off if he tried to hit him.

Spike screamed and sat up abruptly, knocking Xander off his chest and waking him in the process. Xander sat up and saw that the vampire was still asleep and just reacting to something in his dream. He wrapped his arms around him and began talking to him in a low soothing voice, just as Spike had done for him the other night.

Spike stood back in the shadows and watched as the human comforted his double. He knew that scream; he had suffered nightmares himself after escaping the Initiative. If the Watcher and the wolf hadn't taken him in he'd have likely starved to his final death. He was intrigued by the behaviour of the human. He couldn't see the man very well, but he was familiar somehow.

Spike woke up and felt the warm hands on his skin. He froze in absolute terror. Eventually the voice broke through his fear-fogged mind and he sobbed in relief. Xander just held him and let him cry; turnabout was fair play after all, and he figured Spike had a hell of a lot more to cry about than he did.

He had made one decision; tonight he would give Spike the ring. If it gave him any small measure of happiness it was worth it. He'd never seen Spike like this. It was heart wrenching.

Eventually, Spike calmed down and pulled away from Xander in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he had broken down like that. It had been a long time since he'd had a nightmare that bad and even longer since he'd allowed himself to cry.

"Hey, don't be ashamed because of that. I don't think any less of you - like you said, everyone needs comfort sometimes."

Spike nodded but remained silent and rigid. Xander sighed in frustration. He knew this wouldn't be easy for Spike. He'd never met a prouder more stubborn person - demon, whatever in his life.

"Come here. Please?"

Spike allowed Xander to pull him close again. He relaxed into the warm embrace and just enjoyed the comfort being given to him. It was a strange, yet nice feeling.

"You don't have to tell me what that was all about, but if you ever want to talk, I'll listen. No pressure. Okay?"

Spike nodded again and they remained sitting together in silence for sometime. The Spike who stood watching from the darkness was shocked. He could clearly see the man’s face now. It was that boy he had kidnapped with the witch a few years back. Last he'd heard he was shacked up with some warlock in L.A.

Eventually, Spike and Xander got up and walked to the door. They both needed to eat, and in order to do that, they needed money. Xander couldn't believe he was going to let Spike scare people into giving them their wallets. Spike had been with him a matter of days and he was turning into a criminal. He hated to see what he'd be like after a few months of his company.

Spike followed them from a safe distance as they headed toward the Bronze. He watched with some amusement as his double went into game face and scared a couple teenagers out of their cash. Of course when he saw the vamp smile at his human, he almost threw up. No fangs. That just wasn't right. Who the hell would do that to him? Spike decided it was time for answers.

"'Ello pets, are you having fun?"

Xander and Spike spun around to see Spike watching them curiously. Simultaneously they both replied.

"Shit!"

~PART 23~

Spike chuckled. He hadn't exactly expected this reaction.

"Not for over a century, personally. Now, mind explaining to me why you have my face? And why you are here with... me, rather than in L.A. with your warlock?"

Spike looked first to his double and then to Xander. It was Xander who answered.

"What do you know about vengeance demons and the Initiative?"

Spike swore softly and then grimaced. It figured that Finn and his outfit were behind the fang-removal. He was once again thankful that he had escaped when he did.

"I'm far too familiar with the Initiative for my liking."

Spike tapped his head with a finger and continued.

"But as for the vengeance demon bit, I can't say as I know anything. Why don't we go back to my crypt and talk? I have blood, and you can pick something up on the way."

Xander and Spike exchanged a look and then Xander shrugged his shoulders. They followed Spike back to the cemetery and into his crypt. It was similarly decorated to the one his Spike had, including a furnished lower level. They ate in relative silence, Spike watching his guests intently. The vampire didn't change faces to feed, which was just odd. The blood scent alone should call forth the demon. Finally, when both had finished eating, Spike couldn't take the waiting any longer and demanded answers.

Xander explained his relationship with Anya, the former vengeance demon. Spike snorted in amusement at the size of the kid’s balls to leave a demon - ex or otherwise - standing at the altar. He could see why she had done what she had. It was himself that he was mostly interested in. Xander left that story up to Spike. He wouldn't say anything about Finn or the hardware that had been inside him; it wasn't his story to tell.

"Me? Simple really. The military recaptured me after I escaped from the lab. They did stuff; I ended up as the property of one Agent Finn. I was implanted with not only this buggery chip but also fifteen other pieces of technology, courtesy of the U.S. Government. Xander there shifted into my reality and didn't like my living conditions, so he called Angelus - Angel, to come down from L.A. and get me."

Spike looked shocked. His opinion of the human had just risen considerably. He knew none of the humans he associated with would go to that much trouble for him and he had been helping them for years. This kid didn't even know that version of himself and risked a lot to help him.

"We got chased through the woods by soldiers, hid out in the old mansion and waited for Peaches to ride in and save the day. Back in L.A., one of his pets did a spell to locate any tracking devices I might have on me; turned out I was a walking military experiment. I have no idea what any of the stuff did, except it doesn't hurt to shift into my true face anymore so that must have been part of it. Soldiers stormed the hotel, slayer in tow, and shot us down with tazers. Xander landed on me - lucky for me, and took me with him when he shifted out. Now we're here."

Spike nodded in understanding. He saw the look on his double’s face when he said they 'did stuff'. He knew what that entailed, but to live through it for this long? He wasn't sure he would have lasted. He figured that this Spike had likely endured things he couldn't even imagine, or wouldn't want to.

"And staying in a crypt?"

"No cash for a hotel room."

"So, when the boy shifts out again, what happens to you?"

Spike smiled at Xander before answering.

"I go with him. His double in L.A. worked some mojo on us."

"Fair deal. Can I have yer bike then?"

Xander laughed; he couldn't help it. This Spike sounded so much like the one he knew back home. Always looking for what he could get out of a situation.

"Sorry, Spike. The bike has been mojo-ed as well. It goes where we go, and seeing as it's stolen, that's probably for the best."

"True. Can't blame a bloke for asking."

Now that Spike had asked his questions and gotten them answered, Xander had a few things he wanted to know as well. For starters, he was curious about Willow.

"Can I ask you a few things, about this world?"

"Sure, can't say as I'll know the answers though."

"Willow is still with Oz?"

"Yeah, she and the wolf are engaged; they live at her parents’ old place. The house was given to them as an engagement present. Red says it's because her parents likely won't be back for the wedding, or ever."

Xander could see that. Where his parents were verbally abusive, Willow's parents ignored her. Xander didn't know which was worse - at least when his Dad was yelling at him, he knew he was there.

"I can see that. What about Dawn? Who's looking after her?"

"She was staying with Rupert until he went back to London. Her Dad's a right git, didn't even get off his secretary long enough to show up at Buffy's funeral, let alone come and collect the li’l bit. She's currently living with Wolfboy and Red. Sometimes she stays here with me. I don't know why, but she likes me."

"Yeah, the Dawn back home, likes you too. She must see something in you the others don't."

Spike was becoming uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation. He figured that Xander knew things about the Spike he was travelling with that were true of himself as well, but that didn't mean he had to like it. It just wouldn't do for anyone to find out how soft he was becoming. Especially where Dawn was concerned. She was the only reason he was still in this godforsaken town, now that Buffy was gone.

Xander continued without thinking.

"Hell, after Buffy came back from the dead, she was so messed up, you took better care of Dawn than she did."

"What did you say? Buffy came back? How?"

"Oops, maybe I shouldn't have told you that part. See, in my world, Wills is a very powerful witch; she and her girlfriend Tara can do almost anything if they put their heads together. We helped her do a spell, something to do with an urn of Osiris. It brought Buffy back, but she's still a mess. I don't know that she'll ever be completely herself again. Turns out, she wasn't in some Hell dimension, she was in heaven... and we ripped her out of it."

Any hope that Spike had was once again crushed. He could never do that to Buffy. She deserved to have peace, but he was sure Dawn would appreciate knowing that Buffy wasn't in a hell dimension.

"Well, that was brilliant then, wasn't it."

"We didn't know. How could we?"

Spike sighed. He was taking his frustrations out on this man for no good reason. He was just angry that this boy had Buffy waiting for him back home and Spike would never see her again.

"You should come and see the witch. She'll want to know you're here."

Xander had a flashback of the Willow from the demon dimension and shuddered. He wasn't so sure, after the nightmare especially, that he could face her.

"I don't know about that. We were hoping to keep a low profile."

"Nuh uh. She finds out you were here and I didn't tell her, it'll be my arse in a sling."

Xander sighed and looked over at his travel companion. He wasn't looking too thrilled about the idea of seeing anyone from the scooby gang. Xander didn't blame him, but eventually he would have to get used to them - at least if he was going to come all the way home with Xander.

"Question. Where is Finn, and what happened to the Initiative here?"

"Gone, and gone. Soldier boy took off in a big black helicopter, and the Initiative was blown sky high."

"All right then. But if anyone comes after either of us, I will hurt you."

Spike snorted but nodded in the affirmative. He knew that Xander was just trying to look out for the other vampire. He was almost jealous of the loyalty he showed to him. He didn't have anyone watching his back.

~PART 24~

To say that Willow was pleased to see him was an understatement; of course, she thought he was her Xander at the time. Once explanations were given, she was still happy, but not as much. Apparently the Xander in this world had left SunnyD and never looked back. After learning about the spell, Xander didn't really blame him.

Dawn was thrilled at the prospect of two Spikes - at least she was until she realised that the other Spike didn't like any of them, other than Xander. She understood why after they gave a brief explanation of his recapture by the Initiative, and subsequent enslavement by Riley - and the gang by default. Willow was horrified by what she had heard. Spike just snorted.

"Oh, please. Just because you lot don't drag me around on a leash don't make it any better. If I don't have the information you're looking for, I don't get fed. If I don't play nice and do as you say, I get beat up. Not so much now that Buffy isn't here to do it, but it still happens."

Spike looked pointedly at Oz. The werewolf had taken it upon himself a few times to rough Spike up after Buffy's death. He wasn't happy about it, but it was what the slayer had always done, and it was the only thing he knew for sure that worked.

"If it weren't for the bit here, I'd leave you all to rot in this hell hole. I'd get better treatment from Angel than I do you people."

Willow looked down guiltily, and Oz nodded. He knew it was the truth, no point in denying it. He had wondered why Spike had stuck around after Buffy's death, now he knew. Dawn started to cry and flung herself at Spike. Spike held her and petted her hair.

"Hush, luv. Didn't mean to upset you. It's all right. Stop crying."

Dawn sniffled and wiped at her eyes. She lifted her head to look at Spike but didn't let go of him.

"I'm so sorry, I don't want you to stay here just for me. I'll understand if you leave, really."

"Not gonna happen, luv. I made a promise to your sis to look after you till the end of the world. I keep my promises."

Xander and Spike had crept towards the door during the previous conversation. This was way too personal to be intruding on as far as Xander was concerned. Spike just wasn't comfortable in the room with these people. He had only seen the werewolf the once since he'd been chipped, and that was when he'd tried to eat the blonde witch. He didn't trust the man.

They were almost at the door when Willow spotted them.

"Xander Harris, what do you think you're doing trying to sneaking out of here without saying goodbye?"

Xander sighed in defeat. He had really hoped to get away from her. He wasn't all that comfortable with any version of his best friend right now. After the nightmare, and then learning about the spell, he was on edge.

"This is personal, we shouldn't be here."

"Well, will you come back? I mean before you... shift?"

Xander shrugged his shoulders before replying.

"I can't really say; I don't know how long I'll be here. Could be weeks, could be a few hours."

"Oh, well where are you staying then? I'll come and check on you guys tomorrow."

"We're a few crypts down from Spike; I'm sure he'll let you know where it is."

Xander steered Spike toward the door. He had his hand on the doorknob when Willow spoke up.

"You can't stay in a cemetery! What kind of person would I be if I let you sleep in a cold, damp crypt?"

Xander didn't say anything but Spike looked over at his double - who was still crooning softly to the distraught girl in his arms, and then looked at the woman scowling at Xander.

"You tell me, ducks. Seems you don't have any problems with that at all."

Once again, Willow's eyes teared up and she looked down at the floor. Oz growled at Spike and put his arms around the redhead. Xander stepped in front of Spike and stared hard at Oz. He made his position very clear: if Oz wanted Spike, he had to come through him first.

"He has a point, Wills. Spike might be a demon, but that's not all he is. Look at him over there with Dawn… Does that look like a cold-blooded killer to you? Think about it. I'll come and see you again tomorrow if we're still here, but right now I think we should go."

Spike looked at Xander and then nodded to his double. Xander knew that Willow and Oz wouldn't do anything to Spike, but all the same he called out to him.

"Hey, Spike? We're heading out, you alright here or you wanna come with?"

Spike looked over and shook his head. He hoped he managed to keep the shocked expression off his face. He hadn't expected to be asked along.

"Nah, you two go on. I'm gonna stay an' visit for a bit."

Once outside, Xander shook off the tension he'd been feeling since they stepped inside the house and pulled out the rest of the cash they had stolen that night.

"Looks like we have enough for a room tonight, what do you say Spike? Crypt, or live it up at the old Sunnydale Motor Lodge?"

"Hotel. We can get more dosh tomorrow night if we're still here. That floor was bloody uncomfortable."

"I agree. I think we should leave the bike where it is though and walk over. No point in drawing attention."

Spike agreed and they set off on foot. The walk over was surprisingly uneventful, and after stopping off at the crypt to get Xander’s bag, they headed for the hotel. They only had enough for a room with one double-sized bed but they figured since it wasn't the first time they had shared a bed it would be fine. Of course, that was before Xander knew he had a spell on him that prevented him from being attracted to men. Now he knew, and the spell was gone.

Xander showered while Spike flicked around the television stations. When he was finished, he loaned Spike a pair of sweat pants so the vamp would have something to sleep in, and waited for him to go shower before pulling out the ring and looking at it. It still seemed so small, so unimpressive. It was hard to believe that this little piece of jewellery could make a vampire invulnerable. He wondered what Spike's reaction would be when he gave it to him. Also he wondered what he should say to Spike when he handed it over.

Spike was thinking about the way the humans and his double interacted. He could see straight off that this Spike had it a lot better than he did back home. Even still, the other vampire had a point. They did mistreat him, and it was obvious that they knew it. The girl - Dawn, loved him though. That was the strangest thing he had ever seen. The Dawn in his world wasn't allowed within ten feet of him. She never spoke to him or even looked at him. If she saw him, she turned away and left the room. Maybe she was saddened by what she saw? If the girl in his world was anything like the girl he had seen tonight, he wouldn't be surprised if she was.

By the time Spike came out of the bathroom, hair damp and wearing nothing but Xander’s sweat pants, Xander had decided to just give Spike the ring and see what happened. He waited until Spike had seated himself on the bed and leaned up against the headboard, then he turned off the TV.

"I have something for you."

Xander held his closed hand out and then opened it slowly. He watched as Spike's eyes widened, became glassy and then closed. He didn't understand why Spike hadn't taken it yet. His Spike would have snatched it out of his hand immediately. Then he noticed the tears on the vampire’s cheeks and the fact that he was trembling ever so slightly. Xander closed his hand and sat down on the bed next to Spike. He wasn't sure why the man was upset but he felt awful for making him cry. He reached out for him and sighed in relief when he didn't pull away.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I thought it would make you happy. I didn't mean to make you cry, really. If you don't want it, that's okay. I can keep it in case you change your mind."

Spike shook his head and held Xander tightly. When he spoke it was muffled by the fact that his face was buried in the other man’s shoulder.

"It's not that; I am happy. Really. It's just too much. You've done so much for me, been so nice to me. After ... After everything else, it's just overwhelming I guess. I didn't mean to cry to like some silly bint."

Xander chuckled and gave Spike a squeeze. He was just relieved he hadn't inadvertently hurt him somehow.

"No worries, I'm used to people going all emotional on me when I give them a ring. At least you didn't slap me."

Spike pulled away and looked at Xander; he wasn't sure what the man was inferring here. What exactly did the ring represent here? Xander caught the worried look on the vampire’s face and reviewed what he'd said. Whoops, he hadn't meant it to sound like that!

"Sorry, bad joke on my part. The ring is yours because I want you to be safe, that's all. I don't know what you were thinking, but I don't expect anything from you, I'm not like that. I like you; we're friends right?"

At Spike's nod Xander continued.

"Well as your friend, I want you to be safe. If we shift in the daytime, and I'm outside, you'll be dust. This way you won't."

"Where did you get it?"

"The other Xander; he got it from Oz when Buffy sent it to L.A. for Angel. Neither one of them trusted Angelus with the knowledge of the ring’s whereabouts so he ended up with it instead. He thought I should have it - said that I could use it more than he could. We have to be careful though, I don't want the others to see it. Oz would recognise it right away and so would the other Spike."

Spike thought about that for a minute; his double would have no qualms about taking it from him, hell he would if he were in that position. He wanted to put the ring on so badly, but what Xander had said made sense. They had to be careful.

"Maybe you should hold onto it until the next world. We'll figure out what to do with it then."

"Alright. But just to be sure, I treated it with the oil, if it's ever taken it'll come back."

"Thank you, Xander. You know, the Spike in your world is sure lucky to have such a good friend. I'm sure he misses you terribly."

Xander snorted.

"I may have been a bit ... misleading when I said we were friends. Don't get me wrong - I like Spike, it's just, in my world, I wasn't any better than Willow and Oz were with this Spike tonight. I just didn't understand. Now I know better, and if we ever get to my world, I plan on making it up to him. I owe him an apology - for a lot of things."

"Well, you've proven yourself to me. I'm proud to call you my friend."

Xander smiled and closed his eyes. He felt better now that the truth about his relationship with the Spike of his world was out in the open. He didn't want there to be any lies between them. Not if they were going to be stuck together for some time.

~PART 25~

Somehow we've been coerced into staying at Willow's. Don't ask me how, I'm really not sure. They seem to be under the impression that Spike and I are a bit more than friends, at least I think so, since they have us sharing a room. Not that I mind so much; I'm still having nightmares and it's nice to have someone close by when I wake up shaking.

Spike is slowly getting more comfortable around Willow and Oz. He warmed up to Dawn almost immediately but I don't think he even knew the Dawn from his world. The Spike from this world is okay, he's a lot like the one back home, so much so that I sometimes forget where I am and have to stop myself from starting an argument with him just to hear what kind of creative insult he can come up with. I never thought I'd miss being insulted by Spike. Go figure.

I should probably tell you that the Xander of this world gave me the Gem of Amara. I gave it to Spike. He asked me to keep it for him until we shift. Oh yeah, that's another thing - he's coming with me. I didn't know what else to do, I pulled him out of his own world, so I feel responsible for him, plus I like the guy. So he decided to come along on this crazy ride. I'm happy to have the company.

I have some rather disturbing news; it seems that Willow put a spell on me back in high school, when she thought she was in love with me. It was designed to limit my affections. Oh hell, she put a whammy on me so I wouldn't like guys any more. Not that there were a lot of guys I liked to begin with. Only Jesse, and I was terrified of my father ever finding out so I never told him. Now, I'm not under that spell anymore.

It answered a lot of questions, like why the other me - the one with Spike, was with him. The Willow on that world was gay in high school; she had dated Cordy so therefore no spell on the Xan-man. I don't know about the one with Wesley, but I can only assume that he wasn't under a spell or someone had lifted it for him. The me of this world was under a spell; that was how he recognised it on me. He never asked Willow why she did it; he never spoke to her again.

I sort of hope we leave this place soon. I know Spike doesn't like it here, and I'm not really comfortable either. I hope the next world has a friendly feel to it. Hell, I hope the next world is home.

Xander closed his journal and looked over at the sleeping vampire next to him. He had never understood what it was about Spike that drew people to him. Sure, he was attractive - something Xander was realising a lot more since the spell was lifted, but he always put off such 'don't fuck with me' vibes that no one in his right mind would go anywhere near him.

Of course, getting to know the real man behind the image was something Xander was glad he was doing; although he did miss home, he was beginning to think this little adventure might do him some good - aside from landing in anymore demon-controlled dimensions. He had learned a lot about himself and his friends since this whole thing began. And, of course, there was Spike.

Since the hardware had come out, he had been gaining back some of his strength; he'd put on a few pounds and he could change faces without pain. Xander just hoped his fangs grew back soon; he knew it was a real sore spot for his friend. A vampire without fangs was a pitiful sight. Especially on such a proud, fierce demon as Spike.

It was late at night, or early in the morning depending on how you looked at it, so Xander switched off the lamp and lay down beside Spike. It was still weird sharing a bed with another man, especially one who didn't breathe. Nevertheless, the company was appreciated. Besides, at least Spike didn't snore.

The first thing Xander noticed when he woke up was that Spike was practically lying on top of him. The second thing he noticed was that the vamp had his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't speak. The third and probably the most alarming, was that Spike was in full vamp face.

Xander cocked a brow in question and Spike leaned in closer. For a second, Xander thought he was going to kiss him. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed when the blonde whispered in his ear.

"Be quiet. I don't think we're in the same place. I can hear voices, and I think they're ours."

Xander's eyes widened in shock. Spike moved his hand and then rolled off of the human. Xander sat up and immediately noticed the motorbike in the corner of the room. He knew that hadn't been there the night before. He reached for his jeans on the floor and slid them on. Xander looked over to see that Spike had followed suit and was dressing as well. He reached into his pocket and grasped the ring before reaching for the vampire’s hand.

Spike stood in numb shock as Xander put the ring on his finger. It was still so amazing to him that he had been given such a gift. He studied his hand and smiled in pure joy. He felt safe. Something he had thought he'd never feel again. He was so happy and so grateful that he pulled Xander to him and hugged him hard. Xander returned the hug and then stepped back smiling.

"We need to sneak out of here, or at least try to. What do you think our chances are?"

"Well the other me shouldn't smell us, or rather he'll think he's just smelling himself and the other you. As long as we're quiet and they're not right outside the door we might get away with it."

Xander nodded and silently went to the door. Spike followed. With a deep steadying breath, Xander opened the door, stepped out into the hall and stopped dead in his tracks. Spike walked into his back and was just about to ask him what the hell his problem was when he saw what Xander was looking at.

There, in the room right across from them was himself, Xander and the witch - naked and writhing on the bed. He looked from the tangle of bodies on the bed to man standing in front and slightly off to the side of him and then back to the naked people in the bed.

Xander was stretched out on his back, arms above his head. Willow was straddled across him, her head off to one side of his neck. She was riding him at a leisurely pace. Behind her, Spike was thrusting into her ass, his head thrown back, a look of ecstasy on his face. He reached a hand out blindly and Xander grabbed it, entwined their fingers and dragged him down across Willows back to kiss him passionately.

Xander swallowed hard and tore his gaze away from the three in the bed. He turned slightly and saw that Spike was also watching the show with a look of arousal on his face. He couldn't blame him; it was very hot watching the three of them.

Spike jumped when Xander reached out and touched his arm. He spun around to look at him and smiled sheepishly. He couldn't help but glance down Xander's body; relieved when he saw that he was not immune to the affects of the sight in front of them. He looked back up and saw the human blushing. He winked at him and headed for the stairs. Xander followed Spike downstairs to the front door. They were just about home free when Spike was attacked by a naked version of himself in full gameface. Xander put up his hands in surrender and sighed.

"Hey Spike. Betcha you're wondering what the hell is going on huh?"

Xander and Willow appeared at the top of the stairs - both wearing robes, and started toward him and the two vampires. Willow looked confused, as did Xander.

"Could say that mate. Start talking."

The clothes-wearing Spike vamped out as well and snarled at his double. Naked Spike dropped his hands from his doppelganger and stepped back with a muttered 'Bloody Hell!' But Willow screeched and ran forward. Before Spike knew what hit him, Willow had her hands on his face, her eyes closed in concentration and green sparks were shooting from her fingertips into the sides of the vampire’s face. Xander panicked.

"What the hell are you doing to him? Stop it!"

He went to grab Willow but naked Spike stepped in his way.

"Calm down, she's healing him, she is. Then ... then I want to know what in the blue hell is going on here!"

Xander looked over at his Spike and saw that indeed Willow was not hurting him. He guessed after what he had learned about his friend, it would be a long time - if ever - before he would fully trust her again. As soon as Willow released Spike, Xander was at his side pulling him close and checking him over. The other Spike and Xander exchanged a look and then naked Spike went upstairs to get dressed.

"So, while Spike makes himself presentable - more or less, why don't we all go into the kitchen and I'll make coffee. Then you can explain who you guys are and why you're in our house."

Xander watched as Willow walked away, he looked at his double who made it clear that there were no other options open to them. With a weary sigh and a shake of his head Xander threw his arm over Spike's shoulders.

"Come on Blondie, let's go make with the explanations - again."

"Should just get flyers made up, would save time."

Xander chuckled.

"Yeah, I thought about that a few times myself. Maybe we'll do that before we leave this time."

~PART 26~

After Spike had re-emerged - dressed in black jeans and a thin white t-shirt, explanations had been given. No details were offered up, just the basic 'I have been jumping through realities and picked him up on the way' speech. Spike had given a brief description of his stay with the Initiative, and subsequent servitude to Riley Finn.

When the Spike of this world figured out that it had been Finn who had removed his double’s fangs, he went ballistic - cursing and swearing, throwing things and growling like a mad man.

Xander and Spike looked over at Xander and Willow and waited for an explanation. It was Willow who finally spoke up. She looked at her enraged blonde lover and then sighed sadly.

"The Initiative captured Spike and put a behaviour modification chip in his brain, I assume you know all about that? Well, when he escaped he went to the only person he thought would help him - Angel."

Xander saw the tears forming in Willows eyes and felt the urge to hold her, to protect her. He did nothing however, just sat and listened as she continued.

"Buffy and Faith - the slayers, convinced Angel that he shouldn't help him, that Spike was just a demon and therefore not deserving of any compassion. If you ask me, those two have him so pussy-whipped that he can't think for himself. Anyway, Xander and I found him one night on our way home; he was lying in the park waiting for sunrise."

Willow started to sob and the Xander of this world pulled her into his arms. By this time Spike had finished venting his anger and sat down to listen as well. After Willow calmed she continued.

"You wouldn't have recognised him, he was so pale and gaunt. He looked like a skeleton. We took him home with us, fed him and I tried to disable the chip. I couldn't. Not yet anyhow, but I'm still working on it."

Xander held up a hand to interrupt.

"Um, did you say Buffy and Faith? And they're both with Angel? What about the curse?"

Spike chuckled and then waved toward Willow.

"Red here took care of that. Poof shagged Slutty and went nuts; ole Angelus tore through town on a bloody revenge kick. Dru and me high-tailed it out of town, and the witch re-cursed him. Took out that little happiness clause this time round though. No more insane brood-boy."

Spike smiled at his lovers and then continued.

"After the slayers threw me out, I tried everything I could think of to get this damn thing outta me head. Eventually, I was just too weak from hunger to fight anymore and I gave up. Laid out to meet the sunrise and then woke up here. Been here ever since."

Xander had so many questions he wanted to ask, like why Willow and he weren't helping Buffy, how long they'd been together, what Spike's problem was with Riley. He didn't know where to start. He was handed a cup of coffee and began drinking it without even looking to see who had passed it to him. He was startled out of his thought when Spike spoke up.

"What's the situation with the soldiers in this reality? They still around here?"

Xander could practically feel the tension radiating from his friend. He instinctively reached for him and pulled him down to sit in the seat beside him. He didn't let go of his hand.

Once again, the other three people in the room shared a look before Willow answered Spike’s question.

"The Initiative is no longer functioning. It was blown up, Xander and I helped. It was the only thing we've had to do with Buffy in a long time. After what Spike told us, we had to help destroy it. What they were doing was wrong."

Xander nodded his agreement. He didn't care for vamps and demons - aside from Spike - but experimenting on them wasn't right. It was one thing to kill them, that was self-preservation and keeping the town safe; experimenting was cruel and unjustified.

"So, you enjoy the show this morning?"

That being said by a smirking Spike, Xander whipped his head up and opened and closed his mouth several times trying to form words. The Spike beside him just laughed at Xander's embarrassment and cocked his eyebrow at his double.

"Leave off, don't embarrass the boy."

The two vampires shared a silent look that said a lot. The other Spike nodded his head, having his question answered. Xander felt his hand squeezed and looked over at Spike who was smiling gently at him.

"Shall we take a walk pet? See the sights?"

Xander grinned. He figured the blonde was just itching to get out in the sunlight. He smirked at him.

"We could do that. Or we could take the bike and go for a ride?"

Spike's eyes lit up and he shot to his feet.

"I'll get the bike, wait here."

As soon as Spike was out of the room the other vampire's eyes widened in recognition.

"Bloody hell! He has the ring!"

"Yeah, he does. And he keeps it."

"But how? Where?"

"Last place we were in, my double gave it to me. I gave it to him and you'll have to go through me to get it."

Spike looked at the boy impressed. He had no intention of taking it, all right so he had thought about it for a brief moment, but after what he'd seen and heard, he figured his double deserved a break.

"No intention to take it, was just shocked is all. Angel has the one in this world. Soddin’ slayer took it from me and gave it to that poof. Bastard doesn't even use it, too guilt-ridden to enjoy it. He can shag the hell out of two slayers but he won't go out in the sun, pillock."

"Sounds like deadboy alright. Except the shagging two slayers part. I never saw him as the group sex type, not with the soul anyway."

Spike came back into the kitchen just then; he was practically hopping from one foot to the next in anticipation. Xander laughed and got up.

"Come on bleachy, let’s go play in the sun."

The Spike of this reality watched with a look of longing on his face as his double stepped out into the sunshine. He really hated the damn slayer and his poof of a sire. Willow and Xander both wrapped their arms around him and did what they could to comfort him.

~PART 27~

Today was great. Spike and I drove around on the bike for hours, then we went down to the beach and watched the sun set. Once it was dark again, we headed back to Willow's place to pick up our stuff.

About that, I should probably explain this morning. We shifted at some point late last night, or early today. I woke up - with Spike lying on top of me - we'll get to that in a minute - and we were in a new reality.

Which leads me back to this morning. When I woke up and he was on me, I was startled at first. That was mostly due to the fact that he was all grrr, and then I found myself getting aroused by his weight on top of me, the look of concentration in his yellow eyes. Then for one brief moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. He didn't. He whispered in my ear that we had shifted and that he could hear voices - our voices. I won't lie - a part of me was disappointed that he didn't kiss me.

What is wrong with me? I mean yeah, I like the guy - he's not the same Spike I thought he was, and he's different from the one back home, but only because he's been through so much. I have these strong urges to protect him and keep him safe. I don't understand it. He's a demon, an evil soulless demon. So why am I attracted to him in more than just a physical sense?

Obviously, Spike isn't going to be interested in me that way. I'd be surprised if he were ever interested in a man again ever what he's been through. Although, I can't picture Angelus as the hearts and flowers type - unless the hearts were still warm and gooey. I'm sure he suffered similar treatment at his hands as well.

That doesn't solve the problem I find myself facing. I like Spike. As in want to kiss him silly, like him. What is it with me and demons? I mean, why am I constantly drawn to supernatural beings? Why, for once can't I just find a nice normal human person to fall for? No, they have to be slayers, or vampires, or wizards, even Wesley was into magic. I guess it's time I face the facts, I will never be involved in a normal relationship. I don't think I'd know how. But that still doesn't help me with Spike.

Xander closed his journal and flopped back on the bed. He was worn out, frustrated, and confused. Not that long ago, his life made sense. He had a good job, a nice apartment and a beautiful fiancée. Then he got scared, left said fiancée at the altar and found himself dimension-hopping. Even then his life was still relatively normal - for him anyway, this sort of thing was par for the course when you lived on the hell mouth, hung out with a slayer, and left an ex vengeance demon at the altar. He'd been expecting retaliation in some form.

It was the spell that got to him. He hadn't been exactly happy as a totally straight guy, look at his track record - but now he was so damn confused that he wasn't sure that this was any better. He wished Willow had left him alone in the first place. She had no right to interfere with his life that way, and if he ever got home he was going to demand answers. Xander heard a noise and sat up. He swallowed hard as he saw Spike emerge from the bathroom in just a towel. The towel was slung low on his hips and he was still damp, a droplet of water slowly making its way down his chest. Xander was mesmerised as he followed its path with his eyes.

"Shower's free, pet. I even left some hot water for you."

The sound of Spike's voice snapped Xander out of his daze and he shook his head to clear away the lust that had fogged his brain. He nodded once and darted for the open bathroom door. He missed the knowing look on the vampire’s face as he passed.

Once the door was closed, Xander leaned against it heavily and squeezed his eyes closed. He needed to get himself under some semblance of control. The last thing he wanted was for Spike to know what he was thinking. He was sure it would only serve to alienate him after all he'd endured by Riley and his men.

Out in the other room, Spike stood staring at the closed bathroom door. He was somewhat shocked by the look of raw naked lust he had seen on Xander’s face. A few days ago, the boy stood in the same room with him while he'd been naked and had felt nothing but embarrassment. Whatever the witch had done to the boy had to have been pretty damn strong to suppress that kind of desire.

He wasn't sure whether he should feel flattered or frightened. On the one hand, it had been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that, and it was nice to feel wanted. But on the other hand, after everything he'd been through with Finn and his soldiers, he wasn't sure he wanted to be touched by a human man ever again. Even Xander.

As Spike finished drying himself and slipping into some sweat pants, he thought about everything that had happened since he'd left Sunnydale. Since Xander had taken him away. He had been rid of the Initiative’s damned devices - even though he had no idea what they were, he was glad they were gone. He had been taken as far away from Riley Finn as was possible; he remembered the sound of Xander's outraged scream as he was hit by the tazer. And Xander had accepted him as a friend and travel companion. Then of course there was the ring.

Spike looked down at his hand and grinned. The memories of the day washed over him. Driving through town on the bike, the reassuring weight of Xander pressing against his back, the chuckle in his ear as they stopped at the beach and the vampire gasped at the sight of the sun reflected on the water. Maybe he wasn't as opposed to being touched by Xander as he thought.

Spike came back to himself with a startled yelp as he felt a warm hand land on his shoulder. He spun around in full game face and snarled at Xander. The human stepped back and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Hey, easy there. Didn't mean to startle you."

It took Spike a minute to suppress the reaction of being sneaked up on, but once he did, he shook off his demon visage and reached a hand out to the man in front of him.

"Sorry, luv. You startled me."

"I didn't mean to, I called your name and then when you didn't answer me..."

"No worries, sorry if I scared you."

Xander shrugged his shoulders and grinned at him.

"Nah, I'm actually used to you, or rather the you where I'm from wearing that face and snarling at me. Only I usually deserve it for some smart-assed comment I've made."

Spike was slightly disturbed that he had allowed the other man to get that close without noticing it. It either meant that he felt safe enough in his presence for his demon to not react to him, or he was damaged in some way and his instincts were faulty. He hoped it was the first and not the second.

Xander pulled the covers back on the bed and stretched out before closing his eyes. He was tired, but mostly he was trying to keep himself from thinking about Spike, so that meant not looking at him either.

Spike climbed into bed beside him and switched off the lamp. They both lay in bed, side by side, not touching and trying not to think about what could be between them.

~PART 28~

It's official. The Xan-man is definitely interested in guys. It's weird, I mean I never really thought about it before; okay yeah I thought about kissing Jesse, but that was the extent of it - kissing. I never thought about having actual sex with him.

Spike and I have been here in this world for four days now. We haven't been back to see Willow, Xander and Spike since the morning we woke up in their home. It's just too weird. Not the Spike part or even the Willow part - although that is somewhat wiggins-worthy, it's the whole threesome thing. Soooo not me. At least I don't think it is.

Spike and I were watching TV last night - wrestling, to be precise, and I kept noticing how attractive some of the men were. Not the usual "oh he's got a good build, wish I looked like that" but the "wow, nice ass on the Rock" sort of noticing. It seriously weirded me out for a minute. Then I realised it was okay to notice those things, that it was part of who I am, or who I would be if Wills hadn't interfered in my life. I think Spike noticed, he looked over at me and gave me this ... I don't know, reassuring look? It was way weirder than admiring the Rock’s ass. Of course I'd much rather admire Spike’s ass than the Rock’s. And that, my dear diary, (God, how girlie) is the problem.

At least he has the freedom to go out now. Giving him the ring was a good idea, I think he feels safer now, and his face whenever he looks at it ... beautiful. I don't know how to describe it.

Oh, yeah. His fangs are back. This morning when he shifted faces to feed, I saw them. I never thought I would feel relieved to see a vampire’s fangs but I was. I think he might be starting to heal in more ways than just the physical. He's starting to act more Spike-ish, which is good, but I still see the real him as well. The one that held me when I cried, the one that reaches out for me in his sleep. I like that Spike too.

Xander closed his eyes and fell back on the bed. He hated this, this not knowing where and when they would be leaving, what they would find when they got there, and he especially hated the thought that Spike might want to stop coming with him. Xander began to feel dizzy and knew that they were about to leave. Hopefully they would end up someplace nice.

Spike groaned beside him and sat up holding his head. He looked around the room before his eyes landed on Xander. He shook him lightly and waited for him to open his eyes.

"Feel brave enough to venture into town? See where the fates have dropped us this time?"

Xander groaned and got up. He had to stifle a laugh when he saw the tidy little pile of cash that had followed them into this world. It was getting to be somewhere around three hundred dollars by his guess. Once again, travelling with a demon will warp your ethics.

"Yeah, why not. You think we should take the bike in or walk?"

"Bike. We don't know if this place is friendly, Xan. I don't want to risk it."

"Yeah you're right. Um, shower first?"

Spike leered at Xander

"That an offer, pet?"

Xander gulped as images of a wet, soapy, naked Spike flashed through his head. Thanks to Wesley's spell he had a very good idea of what Spike looked like naked, as well. He shot off the bed and glared at the vampire when he chuckled at him.

"Relax, Xander. I was joking. Go shower and then we'll head into town."

Xander practically ran for the bathroom and closed the door quickly behind him. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by what Spike had jokingly suggested, it was that if he thought for one minute that the vampire was serious, he would have gladly taken him up on it.

Out in the other room, Spike groaned at his own stupidity and sat on the end of the bed. He couldn't believe he had said that. He knew that Xander was still coming to terms with his sexuality, he also knew that he fancied him. So it was not only stupid, but also mean to tease the boy like that.

It wasn't that Spike had no interest in Xander, he liked him just fine. If it weren't for what he'd been through with Finn and the rest of those wankers, he would gladly shag the boy into the middle of next week.

Hell for that matter he'd shag Xander right here and now. It was when he thought about the situation being reversed that he froze up. He wasn't anywhere near ready to reciprocate. Didn't know if he ever would be.

He had to admit that it was nice waking up with a warm body next him, strong arms holding him. A steady reassuring heartbeat beneath his ear. He would miss that when they landed someplace where they wouldn't have to share a bed. Spike's head snapped up as he suddenly smelled a new scent permeating the air. He groaned again as he realised what it was - Xander was tossing off in the shower. It figured, he had pretty much asked for it when he said that to him. Spike was instantly hard in the confines of his jeans, and contemplated for a split second about going in there and joining Xander in the shower. Then he came back to reality and opened his jeans.

With sure steady strokes, Spike brought himself to climax while straining to hear the noises coming from the other room. On top of the sounds of water and flesh moving over flesh, he clearly heard the muffled sound of his name as the air was flooded with the scent of Xander’s release. It was that sound, that enticing moan of his name, that ripped the vampire’s orgasm from him almost painfully.

Xander spent long minutes just standing under the scalding water, trying to wash away the memory of what he'd just done. Using the knowledge he had of Spike’s body - from what he had seen to what he remembered from holding him at night - to fuel his fantasies. To bring himself pleasure. It wasn't right.

The water burned, it scalded his skin and should have hurt. It didn't. The pain was secondary to the pleasure still surging through him even this long after the evidence of his climax had been washed down the drain. He could still see Spike - on his knees before him, his hair wet from the shower and clinging to his forehead. He could still feel those silky locks tangled around his fingers as he guided the cool mouth up and down his shaft.

He still felt phantom hands ghosting along his hips and ass, pulling him farther into a cool wet vacuum of indescribable ecstasy. His back arching as his balls rose and tightened. He could still hear the echo of his own voice calling out for Spike in the midst of his orgasm.

The thought instantly brought him out of his haze. Had Spike heard? Or did the sounds of the shower drown out his cries of release? How was he going to show his face after this?

Xander shut off the water and stepped out of the tub. He instinctively began to dry himself while his mind worked over the problem at hand. Did Spike hear him or not? And if he did, what was he going to do about it? Admitting to himself that he was attracted to the blonde - possibly falling in love with him - was one thing; letting Spike know was on a whole other level. For one thing, other than a few teasing phrases here and there, Spike had shown no interest in him that way. For another, there was still the whole slavery issue that he had been through.

And didn't that make him feel great. What if Spike had heard him, and now thought that he wanted to use him in the same way that Riley had. Even with the ring, Spike was helpless to defend himself if Xander tried to hurt him. Or at least he was pretty sure he was. They hadn't exactly tested the magical properties of the ring against the technological properties of the chip.

Finally, Xander could hide away in the bathroom no longer. He took a deep steadying breath and opened the door. He kept his eyes low as he walked into the room, avoiding Spike at all costs. He didn't want to see disgust in his eyes - or worse, fear. He grabbed some clean clothes from his bag and turned to head back into the bathroom to change.

"Xander."

One word. But spoken with such emotion that he couldn't help but turn around and look. What he saw when he looked at Spike was understanding, possibly more.

"Spike?"

"Xander, I heard you. I know."

Xander hung his head. Embarrassment and shame warring for top position. He wanted to disappear, to turn into Marcy the Invisible Girl. Anything to not have this conversation. The 'I like you, but not that way' conversation. He didn't hear the vampire approach him and was therefore startled when a cool finger lifted his chin. Spike pressed his lips to Xander’s softly and then pulled away.

"I like you too. I'm just not ready. Not for that, not yet."

Xander nodded and smiled. At least it wasn't a rejection.

~PART 29~

Cruising through town in the middle of the day - arms around Spike's waist, the hum of the motorcycle underneath him - Xander was feeling like today could be a very good day. Of course, Murphy's law went into overdrive here on the hellmouth, and anything that could go wrong, most certainly did.

Wanting to get a fix on the scoobies of this world, the first thing they did was go by the Magic Box. Of course it wasn't the Magic Box in this world. In fact, it was a pet store. Somehow, Xander just couldn't picture Giles as the owner of a pet store, so they didn't bother going in.

A wary Xander knocked on the door to Buffy's house and was greeted by a large Spanish woman. After a stilted conversation - where Xander's limited understanding of the Spanish language was tested beyond endurance - he returned to Spike with little information other than the fact that Buffy didn't live there, and the large Spanish woman did, and had for several years now.

A phone booth provided answers. There were no R. Giles' listed, nor were there any B. Summers' or J. Summers'. There was, however, a listing for Willow's parents. Deciding to take a chance that they might actually be home, Xander gave Spike directions to their house and they set off.

After knocking on the door several times and receiving no answer, Xander gave up. Spike was actually relieved to not have to deal with any of Xander’s 'friends' but he wasn't about to tell the boy that. As far as he was concerned, this world was looking up. No slayer, no wolf, no witch, no watcher. If he knew for sure that there was no Initiative here, he could actually relax for as long as they were stuck here.

"Come on luv. We’ll drive down to that donut shop we passed earlier. You'll feel better after you get some sugar into you."

Xander nodded and climbed back onto the bike behind Spike and rested his cheek against the warm leather covering the vampire’s back. He was feeling lost and depressed and he really just wanted to go back to the hotel and crawl into bed. Of course, seeing as how they had to re-rent a room, that could be a problem.

"Okay, but can we go back to the hotel after that? I'm kinda worn out from all the running around today."

"Sure pet. Whatever you want."

The bike roared to life and they spun off down the street.

After scarfing down donuts and overly sweetened coffee, Xander was in a much better mood. Spike hadn't eaten yet that day so they headed off toward Willy’s and stopped by the closest sewer entrance. Spike left Xander with the bike while he went to purchase some blood.

The bar was pretty much the same as it was back home as far as Spike could see. Willy was wiping a glass with a less than pristine towel, vampires and other various demons were scattered throughout the room drinking all manner of mostly disgusting beverages, and the only humans in attendance were pets, whores or thralls.

Willy swallowed audibly when Spike approached the bar and the vampire could smell the fear pouring off of him. It was obvious that his double in this world still frightened the little man, so he used that to his advantage.

"Blood, the good stuff, now."

"Y-yes Master Spike. Of course, right away."

Spike smirked as the snivelling little human ran to do his bidding. Within less than a minute, Spike had a large glass of very fresh, still warn blood in his hand. He savoured the scent before drinking and then licking his lips.

"Another."

Once again he found himself enjoying the taste of fresh human blood. He wondered for a minute where it had come from, but then decided he really didn't care. He reached for his wallet to pay the little man and then stopped. If his double was as evil as he used to be, he wouldn't pay for blood.

"Ta mate. Be seeing ya."

Spike turned and left the bar the same way he'd gone in - through the sewers. As soon as he had left, two of the other vamps got up to tail him. They didn't learn much, as Spike had heard them following him and dusted them both. Willy knew that his life was about to take a turn for the worse. When the Master of Sunnydale learned that Spike was back in town, all hell was going to break loose.

Spike found Xander waiting for him with the bike. He took a few minutes to look at him - really look him, before he knew he was being watched. Xander was leaning against a tree across the street, his eyes were closed and the sunlight was shining down on him. He looked radiant. Spike - full of fresh human blood - felt himself harden in his jeans. He licked his lips in anticipation and stealthily strode toward Xander.

Xander 'eeped' in surprise when he opened his eyes to find blue eyes staring into his own. Before he managed to collect himself to even speak, he found his lips taken in a passionate kiss. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around the vampire and kissed him back.

Cool and moist, Xander plundered Spike’s mouth with abandon. He could taste faint traces of blood in his mouth but it didn't stop him from enjoying the kiss. Eventually, he needed to breathe and broke away from Spike’s mouth, gasping for air. Spike continued his assault on Xander’s neck instead. Licking and sucking at his pulse point, nibbling his way up to Xander’s ear and sucking the lobe into his mouth.

Xander shuddered and drew a shaky breath before speaking.

"Not that I'm not enjoying, 'cause I am, very much. But why the sudden change of heart? This morning you weren't ready and now suddenly you are?"

"Want you."

That was the only reply Xander got. And the voice, so low and sexy, sent tingles racing down his spine and his cock twitched in anticipation. He was about ten seconds away from offering himself up right there in the middle of town when a car drove past and someone yelled out 'get a room'.

"Mmm, good idea that. You did say you wanted to go back to the hotel, didn't you?"

The rich baritone voice whispering in his ear promised pleasure, an end to the exquisite torture that he was feeling, and satisfaction. Xander couldn't speak, barely managed to nod his head and followed blindly as Spike led him by the hand back to the bike parked a few feet away.

Back at the hotel, Xander waited while Spike checked them in and got a room. He was beginning to be able to think again, now that he wasn't in physical contact with the blonde. He was torn between saying the hell with it and jumping the vamp as soon as they got inside the room or putting a stop to it until he knew what had changed Spike's mind. One look from those smouldering eyes had him plastered up against the wall, being kissed breathless. He decided thinking was vastly overrated and lost himself in the pleasure of the moment.

He did notice however that Spike was taking a decidedly aggressive approach to this and figured that this was what the vamp needed, at least this time. It was fine by Xander, as he had no idea what to do when it came to making love with another man.

As he was led toward the bed, Spike stopped just long enough to rid them both of their shirts and shoes; then he was attacking Xander’s mouth again. Xander felt his legs bump into the bed just before he fell back, Spike coming down on top of him. He gasped as their groins connected, hard flesh pressed against hard flesh.

"Fuck, Spike!"

"Plan to pet. Gonna make you scream for me."

Somehow, Spike managed to get them both naked before Xander even noticed he had moved. At the first press of Spike’s cock against his own, Xander thought he might cum right there and then. It was only due to his relationship with Anya and learning how to prolong orgasm that he didn't.

Spike's hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, pinching and probing. Xander could do nothing but gasp and moan, beg and plead. And when Xander felt the first slick finger breach his opening he merely pushed down to get it in further and begged for more.

By the time Xander was stretched and ready, Spike was in game face and straining to keep himself from just pushing inside Xander and hurting them both. He took several deep, unneeded-but-calming breaths and then slowly, slowly pushed until the head of his cock was past the tight ring of muscle.

Xander gasped and his eyes rolled back in his head. He hadn't expected it to feel like this. Spike’s cock was so much larger than the fingers that had just left his body; he expected it to hurt. It didn't; it burned but in a nice way. A very nice way, and he wanted more.

"Please, God Spike please."

Spike opened his eyes and looked into deep brown eyes that begged without voice for him to do something to fill the ache. He swooped down and kissed Xander again as he began to ease his way inside. Once he was fully encased, he rolled his brow across Xander’s and panted as he waited for a signal that it was okay to move.

Xander opened his eyes and smiled at the game-faced Spike above him. He knew without a doubt that he would never be able to forgive Willow for denying him this. The fact that he could have had years with Spike - the Spike back home - the way 'Xan' did, and avoided all the mess that was he and Anya, pretty much guaranteed it. But he was happy enough with where he was right now to know that he would at least try.

Spike felt Xander wiggle and took that as a sign to move. He angled himself so that Xander’s prostate was stimulated with each thrust and began to withdraw from his body before plunging back in.

Neither man lasted long, both too worked up and desperate. Xander screamed as he came and Spike followed right after him, roaring as his climax tore through him. Spike collapsed on top of Xander and felt warm arms embrace him as his softened cock slipped out of Xander’s body. A tender kiss was placed on his temple and then he was rolled onto his back. Xander snuggled into him and promptly fell asleep.

~PART 30~

I slept with Spike. Okay, nothing new there as we sleep together practically every night. What I should have said was I had sex with Spike. Sex. With Spike. With the kissing and the touching and the penetration. I let a demon fuck me. I let a demon fuck me and I liked it. A lot.

But Spike isn't completely evil, is he? At least not this version. He was so sweet earlier today, he kissed me and told me he liked me, but he wasn't ready for that yet. 'That' being sex. Explanations are probably in order. See, after joking with me about sharing a shower, I was so worked up I took matters into my own hands. Spike heard and confronted me when I came out of the bathroom. That's when he kissed me and told me he wasn't ready. So what changed his mind? I mean, we checked out the town, didn't find any of the gang, had something to eat, and then went to Willy’s so he could get blood. I waited across the street for him and when he came out he just... attacked me. Not in a bad way, in a kissed-me-stupid-and-made-my-brains-leak-out-of-my-ears way. Then we came back here to the hotel.

I thought about stopping him, at least until I knew what had brought about the sudden change of heart, but then he was kissing me again and I lost the ability to think. So now I'm sitting here on the floor, back against the wall, watching him as he sleeps, and writing. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Why he changed his mind about us.

What do I do when he wakes up? I haven't got a clue how to deal with 'the morning after' with a guy, or a vampire. Especially a guy vampire. Do I kiss him and treat him like my lover? Do I act as though it didn't happen and continue on as friends? I'm completely lost. I do know one thing though. I have to let Spike set the pace and the boundaries of this - whatever it is we have. I can't push or rush him. Not after everything he's been through. Yeah, that's it. I'll let him decide what happens now. Give him control, he probably needs that - to have control of something in his un-life again, even if it is just the pace of our relationship.

Xander closed the book and watched his sleeping lover. His lover; Spike was his lover. He almost started to panic again at the thought of what would happen when the vampire woke up. He almost wished that time would stand still, that he could just stay in this moment forever. But wishes were bad things, and extremely dangerous to make in Sunnydale, no matter what dimension you are in. Xander knew that from experience.

Deciding that it wouldn't make any difference whether he was in bed or not when Spike woke up, Xander put his journal away and crawled back into bed beside his lover. He smiled when Spike instinctively reached for him and pulled him close. He was just drifting off to sleep when Spike sat up in bed and looked around frantically before jumping to his feet in full game face.

Xander was certain that the image of a snarling, wild-eyed, game-faced, Spike - even though he was naked - was not supposed to get him hard. Too bad his body wasn't listening to his brain, because he was, hard that is.

Spike scented the air and turned yellow eyes on the human in the bed. The beast within was shouting to maim and destroy the threat to him, but the rational part of his mind knew that even though he was human, he was not a threat, he was friend, protector, and...lover.

"Xander?"

Spike tried to check his demon and calm himself. The fact that the boy showed no fear, even in the presence of his demon went a long way toward his serenity.

"Yeah, Spike. It's me. You alright?"

"M'fine luv. Just woke up a bit disoriented s'all."

Xander held out his hand and smiled softly.

"Come and lay down for a bit?"

Spike nodded and took the outstretched hand in his own. His earlier blood-fuelled lust had subsided and left him with a sense of wariness and unease. He knew what had happened; he knew it while it was happening. Just now, with the effects of the blood worn off, he wasn't sure what to do next. He'd had a total of three lovers in his time - Dru, Angelus, and Darla - and wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was in this situation.

Did he tell Xander the truth - that he wasn't ready to bottom for the boy, that he didn't know if or when he ever would be - or did he just leave it all up to fate and play it by ear? He supposed he could put it off for awhile, at least. Xander might not want to take the lead in any sexual situations for a while.

His contemplation was brought up short when two vampires burst into the room. He immediately put himself between the vampires and Xander, so that the vamps couldn't see the boy behind him.

"Master Spike."

The taller of the two addressed him.

"My master has requested your presence. You will come with us now."

Spike snorted and gave the two minions a two-fingered salute.

"Yeah well, I don't follow anybody's soddin’ orders. Get out."

The shorter of the two walked closer to the bed and saw Xander sitting behind Spike, looking ready to fight if necessary. He stumbled back, grabbed his partner and backed toward the door.

"Master, I'm so sorry we didn't know... She sent us to bring him... forgive me."

And then he turned tail and pulling his partner behind him ran out the door. Spike looked behind him at an equally puzzled Xander and shook his head.

"Well, pet. What the bloody hell do you suppose that's all about?"

~PART 31~

Xander stared at the door in open-mouthed shock. After all, it wasn't every day that two vampires broke into your hotel room and then fled in a fit of babbling and apologies.

"Uh, Spike?"

"Yeah, pet?"

"What the hell was that?"

The vampire chuckled and then turned around to face the still startled human on the bed behind him. He pulled Xander into his arms and kissed him on the temple.

"Minions. Those two were so fresh I could still smell the shit of their deaths on them. Bloody clueless lot, most of them."

"But ... What did they mean with all that Master stuff?"

"Who knows, luv. Chances are we'll find out if we stick around here long enough, I got the impression that I'm being summoned."

Xander groaned and closed his eyes. This was not what he had in mind to do tonight. Go for a drive, get something to eat, perhaps watch Spike scare a few teenagers into giving them their cash - but not being summoned by the 'Master of Sunnydale', whoever that was.

"God, don't let it be Angelus. Anyone but Angelus."

Spike snorted.

"What, you think the Master is any more sane? Please, old bat-face was loopier then Dru most days."

"Oh, right. I actually hadn't thought about him. I figured, you know since Sunnydale wasn't completely overrun by demons that he was dust."

"Hmm, probably. Doesn't answer the question of who's in charge here though, does it?"

Xander shook his head and then wondered if they should put off the summons until after the awkward conversation or if they could put off the awkward conversation by accepting the summons. He wasn't too sure which was the lesser of two evils at this point. Spike answered that unspoken question for him by slipping out of bed and reaching for his jeans.

"You want to come with me or wait here? Could be dangerous, but better to know what we're up against, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll come with, just don't let anyone eat me, eh?"

Another snort from the vampire.

"Not likely, no one'd be stupid enough to try for your neck. You smell like me, they'll know better."

Spike shrugged into his shirt and reached for his boots as Xander tried to puzzle out what exactly that meant. He was no closer to figuring it out when Spike's voice broke the silence.

"And if they don't... I'll tear their soddin’ heads off before they get close enough to touch you."

And just why did that give him warm fuzzies? Xander couldn't figure it out, but possessive Spike made him feel good. He'd ponder that later; right now he needed to get dressed.

After dressing and leaving the hotel, they drove into town. Neither had any idea of where the Master of the hellmouth would be, so they merely drove around letting their presence be known. It wasn't long before someone noticed. Xander wondered if all the minions in this Sunnydale were as stupid as the two that had burst into their room earlier. By the looks of the three that were slowly making their way towards them, he would guess yes. They were looking at him like he was scarier than Spike, which was just wrong. Spike seemed to think so too.

"Oi! Quit looking at him. What do you want?"

The first of the three vampires stepped forward and bowed his head. Spike smirked at the obvious show of submission. It did wonderful things for his ego, being feared again. He was beginning to feel like his old self again. Amazing after what he'd been through, but Spike had always been resilient. Something to thank Angelus for, if he hadn't been such a sadistic bastard, Spike wouldn't be as strong-willed as he was.

"Master Spike, my apologies for looking at your consort. I bring word from my Master. He wishes to speak with you. If you would follow us, your consort is welcome to attend."

Xander looked at Spike questioningly, he wasn't sure what a consort was, or if it applied to him. Spike just gave him a look that clearly said 'shut up' and turned back to the minion who had addressed him.

"Do I have your Master’s word that no one will touch him?"

If he didn't have that guarantee, he was sending Xander back to the hotel with the bike. It was one thing for him to face off with this Master, it was another to endanger Xander.

"Of course. He will come to no harm, I assure you."

"He better not, or you die slowly, and painfully."

The vampire nodded and turned back to the others that were with him. They headed off in the direction of Crawford Street, and Spike and Xander followed behind them. Once the vamps were far enough in front that Spike was certain they couldn't hear, he spoke softly to Xander.

"Whatever happens, play along. They think you are my consort, so you have to play the part."

"Okay, but what the hell is a consort? I can't act like one if I don't know what it is."

Spike swore softly and shook his head. He didn't have time to explain vampire lore right now. He had assumed Xander would know about these things.

"In short, it means you’re mine. Not like a pet though, like a lover, a confidant. But you don't question me, not in front of others at least. Whatever I say, just go along with it, we can talk about it later okay?"

"Fine. But we are going to talk about this."

"Of course pet, I expect we have a lot to talk about, eh?"

Xander just snorted. Yeah, they had a lot to talk about. Like why Spike had suddenly changed his mind about sex, what that would mean for their relationship, did they have a relationship? Oh yeah, he was really looking forward to that conversation. Not.

When they stopped in front of the mansion, Xander groaned and thumped his head lightly against Spike's back. He so didn't want to be here. It looked more and more likely that Angelus was the Master of this Sunnydale, something Xander really didn't want to contemplate.

They were led inside and left to wait in the large room off the front foyer. There was a comfortable looking leather sofa and two high back chairs in the room, a fire was lit and soft, tinkling music could be heard. In the farthest corner of the room was a small table and chairs set up, on the table was a full tea service.

Xander sat down on the sofa and watched Spike as he cased the room; not a single detail escaped the vampire’s gaze. Eventually Spike returned to Xander and took a seat on the sofa beside him.

"It's not looking promising pet. I'm pretty sure whoever else is here, Dru is with them."

Xander's eyes bugged out and he turned on Spike, he wasn't too hot on the prospect of seeing Angelus again, but Drusilla was completely insane, and she scared the hell out of him. The vampiress was capable of hypnosis and all sorts of other mind games. Xander still remembered vividly what she had done to Giles, not something he wanted to experience for himself.

"Oh, no. No way. I am not staying in the same room as that crazy..."

"Easy luv. That crazy... was my lover for over a century."

Xander nodded his head and wisely kept from making any more disparaging remarks about Dru. Spike and he might be friends, even lovers now, but he knew full well what the crazy brunette had meant to Spike. He still had a faint scar on his forehead to prove it.

"Sorry Spike, but she scares me. You know she wanted to turn me once? Said I had a face like a poem."

A noise from the doorway interrupted what Spike was about to say. They both turned and stared in shock at the two vampires that entered the room.

"Mmm, yes I did say that. You made me love you, and I made you mine."

As Dru twirled and danced around the room, Xander watched with wide eyes as a younger version of himself sat down in a chair opposite him and studied him with open fascination.

"So, this is how I would look if I had lived, huh?"

~PART 32~

"Well, that was downright disturbing."

Spike snorted at Xander's remark. Disturbing didn't begin to describe what they had just been through. Spike had sat for the past forty-five minutes going back and forth with himself. The sight of Drusilla still filled him with longing and pain; then there was Xander, both the living and undead versions of the boy.

Something about the vampire version of his friend called to him, it gave his demon ideas of turning the boy and making him his forever. Of course he couldn't do that - chip. What disturbed him was that he wanted it. For all his good intentions, wanting to keep the boy safe and alive, a part of him was willing to trade his heat and his soul for a chance at eternity.

So what did that mean, that he wanted Xander for eternity? In all his years, Spike had never made a childe, never taken a mate either. Dru had come closest as a mate but she was his sire, and it was her decision to mate with him or not, she chose not. With Dru it had always been about 'Daddy' so Spike knew he would never have more than he already had. In Xander, he saw both childe and mate. It was both comforting and scary as hell at the same time.

The ride back to the hotel was conducted in silence, Xander could tell that Spike was doing some serious thinking. He didn't blame him, hell he had a few things on his mind as well. Like what the hell happened back there.

Dru had danced around the room babbling about how Spike was 'wrong' and 'artificial'. 'Not my golden boy. Impostor!' she had shouted at him. The other Xander seemed to ignore her ramblings and sent her to make tea for her dollies. Spike had rolled his eyes at that, but Xander had seen the pain in those blue eyes as Dru kissed Vamp-Xander and spun out of the room.

There were a lot of questions - mostly about him, a short conversation in which Xander learned that Dru had sired him during the botched love-spell fiasco, and that the scoobies were all dead. By his hand, no less. Angelus had been killed, a joint effort by Spike and Xander to rid themselves of their biggest competition, and that Dru had chosen Xander over Spike. Spike had left town shortly after that and hadn't returned. Until now.

Vamp-Xander had seen Spike’s return as a threat to his relationship with Drusilla, and had Dru send the minions to summon Spike to appear before them. Learning that Spike had made a consort out of a human version of himself intrigued the vampire; he wanted to know how it had been accomplished. A brief explanation on how neither of them were from this reality got Vamp-Xander past his suspicions of Spike's surprising reappearance.

So now, here they were, driving back to the hotel with the blessing of the current Master to enjoy their stay in Sunnydale and to come back and visit again if they wanted.

"It'll be a cold day in hell before that happens, thanks," Xander muttered under his breath. He had no intentions whatsoever of going back to the Crawford Street mansion. Dru still gave him the willies and seeing himself as a vampire was extremely unsettling.

Spike stopped the bike and waited for Xander to climb off before dismounting it as well. He reached out and pulled the human into his arms and breathed deeply. The scent of himself on Xander did a lot to calm his raging demon. He still had a nagging sensation at the back of his mind telling him to turn the man, to make him immortal, but with Xander this close, in his arms, he could push it down and ignore it.

"Hey, Spike? Shouldn't we go inside?"

"Yeah pet. We should."

Spike kept one arm around Xander as they headed back to their room. He wasn't sure what was going to happen once they were inside. He knew that Xander had questions, he just hoped he could answer them.

Once inside, Spike flopped down on the bed and picked up the TV remote. Xander grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower, he had been hoping to talk to Spike about what was going on between them, but from the looks of things, Spike didn't want to talk just yet.

Spike sighed in relief when the bathroom door closed and Xander started the shower. He got up and began pacing the room, trying to figure out what exactly he was going to tell Xander when he asked about what was going on between them. The truth was, Spike didn't know.

The only thing he knew for sure was that he trusted Xander not to hurt him. On a primal level, his demon had already accepted him as mate, and he hadn't even claimed him yet.

"Not like I can. Bloody stupid chip in me head. Can't hunt, can't defend myself, can't protect what's mine. Bloody useless I am, boy's better off without me."

Spike stopped dead in his tracks at that thought. The very idea that Xander might think the same thing shook him to his very core. He suddenly needed to be close to him, to feel his arms around him. He stripped down and flew into the bathroom.

Xander yelped when he was suddenly pulled against a cool, naked body. He recognised the hands that were stroking his belly and relaxed. He leaned his head back on Spike’s shoulder and closed his eyes. This was unexpected but nice.

"Miss me, blondie?"

"Mmm hmm."

Spike began nibbling on Xander’s neck and then groaned in arousal as the mortal rolled his head to the side to give him better access. It was a huge show of trust and acceptance on Xander’s part, exposing his throat to a vampire, even a chipped one.

"That's nice. Feels good."

Xander slowly turned in Spike’s arms and kissed him. He had completely lost focus on why he had gotten in the shower in the first place. Spike drew away slightly and picked up the tiny bottle of hotel shampoo.

"We need to buy some decent shampoo pet, and some unscented soap. This stuff smells like flowers for Christ’s sake."

"We'll do that tomorrow, right after breakfast. Kiss me again?"

Spike smiled and kissed Xander again, the shampoo momentarily forgotten. When Xander pulled away to breathe, Spike spun him back around and began washing his hair.

Once he had finished lathering and rinsing Xander's hair, he picked up the small bar of hotel soap and a washcloth. He lathered up the cloth and began washing the smooth tanned skin of the man in front of him.

Spike took the opportunity to map out every inch of Xander's body as he washed him, he could feel the faint lines of old scars here and there, likely due to helping the slayer of his world. Spike grimaced at the thought. He knew that Xander thought his friends were different from the versions that Spike had known, but the vampire wasn't so sure. The witch was supposed to be his best friend and she had put a spell on him that essentially changed who he was, just to suit her own selfishness.

Xander rinsed off and then repeated the process on Spike. Sliding soapy hands all over his skin, across strong shoulders, down his well-toned arms. He washed his back, his chest, his unbelievably sculpted abs. Xander knelt down to run his soapy hands down the vampire’s legs and then back up again, still on his knees, he caressed the pale fleshy globes of his ass before turning him around.

Spike looked down at the smirking face of the man on his knees before him. He knew why Xander was smirking at him; it had everything to do with the very prominent erection that was jutting out at him. He shrugged his shoulders at him and leered.

"As long as you're down there... "

Xander choked back a laugh and took up his rapidly shrinking bar of soap. He lathered up his hands and then ran them up the insides of Spike's thighs till his fingers twined into the coarse hair of the vampire’s groin. He smiled at the small groan Spike let out when he wrapped one soapy hand around his cock and began massaging his balls with the other.

Xander laughed out loud as Spike rinsed himself hurriedly, picked him up and strode out of the bathroom with him before dumping him on the bed, still wet and giggling. Spike smiled at him and then pounced.

~PART 33~

God, where do I start? Everything is so fucked up; I've been jumping around from one place to another so quickly I forgot about all the people I left behind on the way.

I want more this time. I don't want to be convenient, or easy, or safe. I want to be loved damn it! I want to be wanted for me, for just being Xander Harris. Is that too much to ask? Am I expecting too much from an emotionally crippled vampire? Probably, but I can't help it. I want this to be real, for both of us.

The hotel room door opened and Xander closed his book before looking up. Spike had gone shopping; he left Xander a note and took off before he had woken up.

"Mornin' pet. Brought you some brekkies."

Spike set a brown paper takeout bag on the nightstand along with a cup of coffee and a bottle of orange juice. He then unpacked the other bag in his hand, pulling out soap, shampoo, shaving cream, razors, toothpaste and a toothbrush. Xander raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Spike also unpacked a couple bottles of lube as well. He just opened the bag on the table next to him to see what Spike had brought him for breakfast.

"Blueberry muffins?"

"They were out of chocolate chip. What, you don't like blueberry?"

"No, actually, they're my favourite. Thanks."

Xander grinned and dug into his breakfast. Spike snorted in amusement and watched his lover eat. There was something immensely satisfying about watching Xander dig into his food. Spike sighed wistfully and wished he could taste things the way he used to when he was alive. It just wasn't the same now, the only thing that really held any flavour for him now was blood - and that onion thing they used to do at The Bronze, bloody brilliant that thing was.

Xander finished the last of his coffee and headed for the shower. He stopped to kiss Spike on the way.

"Thanks for bringing me breakfast, and for doing the shopping."

"Eh, was awake. Nothing better to do."

Spike pulled Xander closer and kissed him deeply before releasing him and giving him a gentle push toward the bathroom. Truth was, he didn't trust the vampire version of Xander not to try something, so he had no intention of letting his lover leave the room until they shifted again.

Once Spike was sure that Xander was in the shower and wouldn't be coming back into the main room for a few minutes he pulled a medium-sized black leather bound book from deep inside one of his dusters pockets. He treated it with a dab of the oil that the warlock Xander had given them and then sat down to write It seemed to help Xander after all, so he figured he'd give it a try.

~PART 34~

So, here I am, William the Bloody with a soddin' journal. Well, I ain't gonna write in it like some bloody chit. So I'll just make like I'm writing this 'cause I plan on letting you read it at some point, okay love?

Worthless. That's what I am. I won't tell you that though, figure it out on your own sooner or later. Me, I'm hoping for later. I want to have as much time with you as I can before it all gets blown to shit. Don't know what I'll do then, just wait for the dawn I suppose; ring comes off, after all.

Spike heard the shower turn off so he put his book back into his coat pocket. He removed the last of his morning purchases from the bag he had left on the dresser. He grimaced. This was not something he was looking forward to.

Xander stepped out of the bathroom and walked over to the dresser. He looked over Spike's shoulders at the box of hair colouring he was scowling at. He smiled at his lover's look of annoyance.

"I hope that's not for me. I like my hair just fine thanks."

"Funny pet. I was just thinkin', might do some good if I wasn't so recognisable. What with being out in the day and all."

Xander thought about that for a minute before answering. It was a good idea, not only was Spike's look very... attention-grabbing, it was easily recognised by anyone who knew him, demon or human alike.

"Good idea. We don't know what we might run into out there; the less you look like... well you, the easier it'll be for you to move around without drawing attention. We should get you new clothes as well."

Spike instinctively wrapped his duster around him tightly. He didn't want to give up his coat; he had worn it steadily for the past three decades. It was a part of who he was, just like his boots and his hair. He sighed and hung his head; if he was going to change the hair, he could give up the coat. Just until they got back to Xander's world though. Then the coat comes back on and the hair gets bleached.

"Right. First the hair, then the clothes."

"Need any help?"

"Nah, been bleaching it for years, this can't be any harder."

Xander got dressed and flopped across the bed while Spike went off to dye his hair in the bathroom. Xander tried to picture Spike with the light brown-coloured hair that the girl (snort) on the box had. It just didn't work when he combined it with the slicked-back look the blonde favoured. Maybe he could get him to try it without the gel.

Half an hour later, a brown-haired, towel-clad Spike emerged from the bathroom. Xander swallowed hard and sat up on the bed admiring the view in front of him. Spike looked good, very good. His hair was still mussed from when he'd dried it; the towel hung precariously from his hips and small droplets of water still clung to his chest and belly.

Spike looked over at Xander and smiled smugly at the look of rampant lust on his lover's face. He guessed that answered the question of whether he looked like an utter git or not.

"So, pet. What do you think?"

"Mphurgle?"

Spike laughed and pulled Xander to his feet before kissing him deeply. The boy might not know how to express himself in words, but he always got his point across. In this case Spike was taking 'mphurgle' as 'you look damn sexy, please shag me now?' And who was he to say no?

Xander ran his fingers through the damp, darkened locks; despite decades of abuse, Spike's hair was still soft as silk. He pulled away reluctantly to draw breath and then got a wicked idea in his head.

Before Spike knew what had happened, Xander had ripped his towel away and sunk to his knees in front of him. He took the vampire's still soft member into his mouth and sucked it down to the root.

"Christ! Xander!"

As the cock in his mouth began to swell and lengthen, Xander slid it out of his mouth slowly and then sucked just the head back in. He smiled around his mouthful of vampire as the former blonde began to babble nonsense and pant for breath. He'd never done this before, but he was encouraged by Spike's response.

Spike looked down at the fully dressed human who was sucking him off so intently. It was quite a sight actually, him completely naked, cheap hotel towel pooled at his feet, and Xander completely dressed except for shoes. It made his already hard cock twitch in realisation. He had a bit of a kink here, not one he had ever known about before.

Xander let Spike's cock slip free and lowered his mouth to lick and nuzzle at his balls instead. He sucked first one and then the other into his mouth, rolling them on his tongue. Spike's skin tasted clean like soap, but underneath there was a distinct earthy flavour, heavy with a faint coppery tang.

Spike felt his knees begin to give way when Xander started licking and sucking his nuts. It was all he could do to stay on his feet as his lovely boy licked and sucked at them. He reached down to stroke himself off, unable to take any more of this exquisite torture, when his hand was gently clasped and held still.

"Uh uh, no touching. Mine."

Xander released Spike's hand and wrapped his fingers around Spike's cock. He began stroking the shaft with one hand as his head bobbed up and down, taking as much as he could into his mouth. He felt Spike's hand come to rest on his head, petting his hair and urging him to go faster. Xander sped up and began sucking harder, suddenly desperate to bring Spike off, to taste his release. He felt Spike stiffen and then heard him cry out as his mouth was filled with lukewarm liquid.

"Xander! Fuck! Xander!"

Xander swallowed and looked up at Spike while licking his lips. He watched as Spike's eyes went from blue to yellow and then back to blue. There was something totally erotic about seeing Spike's demon face watching him taste his cum. Spike must have thought so too, because Xander suddenly found himself flat on his back on the bed with a naked, panting vampire on top of him. Too bad the universe hated him and chose that moment for them to shift

~PART 35~

Xander would have laughed at the look on the woman's face when she woke up to find two men in her bed - one of them naked, a motorcycle in front of the dresser, a decent sized pile of bills on the bed and a pile of clothes and a duffel bag on the floor. He would have laughed, except for the very large man who was lying next to her still asleep.

Spike was up off of Xander and getting dressed faster than Xander could blink. He had to give the guy credit for putting his vamp speed to good use. Xander leapt off the bed and held up his hands in platitude. The last thing he needed was for her to start screaming and wake up the big guy.

"Hey, sorry. Must have been some kind of mix up. We'll just be going now, no need to wake up your husband or boyfriend, whatever. Just... here,"

Xander scooped up the cash on the bed and held out a handful of it to her.

"Take this and we'll call it even okay?"

All of this was said in a quiet, somewhat calm voice. Xander really didn't want to get the shit kicked out of him for: a) being in bed with the guy's wife, or b) being in bed with the guy's wife and having a naked man on top of him, or c) trying to defend said naked man from the big guy currently drooling on his pillow.

Spike, meanwhile, had quickly stuffed everything into their bags and his coat and was trying to quietly push the motorbike out the hotel room door. Xander dropped the money on the bed beside the still-shocked woman and fled the room behind Spike.

Once they were outside and away from the threat of violence, Xander slid down to the ground and began to shake. Spike looked down at him, concerned for his emotional state after what had to be very traumatising for him.

"Hey, you alright luv?"

Xander looked up at Spike, tears streaming down his face and burst out laughing. Spike took a step back and watched with trepidation. He wasn't sure what exactly was wrong with his pet, but he was going to fix it.

"Xander?"

"Oh God, Spike! Her face! Did you see her face?!"

Xander continued to laugh and Spike couldn't help but smile. He hadn't exactly been paying that much attention at the time; he was more concerned about getting the hell out of there before the mountain of a man sleeping next to her woke up and twigged to the situation. In retrospect, he had to agree that it was pretty fucking funny.

"Yeah, but yours was better."

Spike snickered as he remembered Xander holding a wad of bills out in front of him like a shield.

"Giving her money, luv? She probably thinks we're a couple of kinky buggers who like to have someone watch."

Spike laughed even harder as the implications of what he'd just said leaked into Xander's head. They both sat, back up against a brick wall two buildings over from the hotel and laughed until their sides hurt.

"You know, we still need to get you some clothes. Wanna go to Wal Mart?"

"Why in hell would I want to go there? I may be an evil demon, luv, but even I don't deserve to be dragged through Wal Mart."

Xander chuckled and stood up, he reached his hand down for Spike and pulled him to his feet.

"Come on, if you're a good little vampire, I'll let you push the cart."

Xander smiled at Spike and got a kiss in return.

"You're barmy pet. I'm not pushing the soddin' cart."

Xander laughed and climbed on the bike behind Spike and they raced off toward the Sunnydale Mall. Also known as Wal Mart hell. Spike shook his head as he realised he must be in love; he was willingly going to Wall Mart.

Inside the store, Spike looked around in terror. This was bad; there were housewives everywhere, little kids in strollers, babies crying ... old people in blue smocks grinning at him and trying to give him a cart. Spike sighed in relief when Xander took a cart and put one arm over his shoulders and steered him toward the men's department.

Since it was the middle of the day, it was relatively empty. Xander picked out some faded blue jeans for Spike and some white t-shirts. The former blonde pouted prettily and Xander traded the white shirts for grey. Two light blue button-down shirts later and they were off to footwear.

After much grumbling and cursing and bribes of future sex acts, Xander persuaded Spike to get some normal running shoes and give up the Doc's for awhile. They picked out a decent looking pair of runners, and then Spike pointed towards the electronics department.

"Can we get a walkman? Maybe some CD's?"

"Sure, come on."

Xander left Spike looking through the music section while he picked up a CD walkman and some batteries. He turned around to go back to Spike when he ran into himself, and... Spike. Not his Spike, a blonde Spike.

"Holy hellmouth Batman! Spike, do you see that? It's me! How? Oh God! Is he a vamp? Tell me he's not a vamp?"

"He's not a vamp."

"I'm not a vamp."

Both Spike and Xander answered simultaneously. Xander sighed in frustration and ran his fingers back through his hair. He looked over to where Spike - his Spike, was rifling through the CD's.

"Look, it's a long story. Let me get Spike and then we'll all go sit down and talk. Okay?"

Xander didn't wait for an answer; he just headed back to the music section and collected his vampire. He leaned in and whispered to Spike about the current situation and stifled a laugh when his lover complained about having his double see his 'poncy' hair colour.

The other Xander took one look at Spike with brown hair, no gel, and burst out laughing. Spike - blonde Spike - scowled, as did the other one. Xander put his arm around his brunette vampire and gave him a squeeze. He leaned in and whispered in his ear that he thought he looked sexy as hell, then he nipped him on the earlobe lightly.

The other Xander stopped laughing and watched his double openly display affection to the vampire in his arms. He looked over at his vampiric companion and then looked down at the floor guiltily. He heard Spike snort at him before stomping off in the direction of the food court.

"Lovely, now he's pissed at me again."

Xander and Spike looked over at the man who had just spoken. Seemed like things were not all peaches and cream between this world's Spike and Xander. They looked at each other and then looked at Xander.

"So, where to? I assume you still want answers?"

"Yeah, fangless probably went for..."

Xander trailed off as he saw the brown-haired version of Spike begin to tremble before his double shot him a nasty look and pulled the vampire into his arms. He could hear his twin whispering to him and petting him. He wondered what had set him off.

"Er, hey? Uh, Spike probably went to get onion rings, he likes them for some reason; we should catch up."

Xander watched as the other him headed off in pursuit of his Spike, never taking his arm off of the vampire's shoulder. Life in Sunnydale just got stranger and stranger.

Spike sat at the little table munching on onion rings and brooding. Not that he would admit that. Things had been going okay for him and Xander, sure none of the scoobies knew they were a couple, and Xander was always very careful to never show him any affection in public, but alone, they were good together. They had argued some about why Xander wanted to keep them a secret. Spike wasn't one for hiding his affections, if he was in love - or even serious like, he wanted to flaunt it, show the world.

It was an old argument. One that had been rehashed just last night when they were at home watching TV. Dawn was out with Willow and Tara at the movies and they were laying on the sofa cuddling and watching an old movie. As soon as Xander heard the doorknob turn he leapt off the couch and sat in the chair.

Now, today, they were out picking up work clothes for Xander and a new pair of jeans for him and whom should they run into but themselves. Well, a strikingly similar version of Xander and a Spike with poncy hair. Spike couldn't help but be angry at the way the other Xander expressed himself so freely with the dark-haired version of himself. Biting his ear in the middle of Wal Mart for Christ's sake. His Xander would never do that.

"Speak of the devil."

Spike muttered to himself as he watched two Xanders and a Spike come toward him. The other human was still showing physical affection to the vampire and scowling at the other version of himself. Spike wondered what his pet had said to piss the other man off. His Xander had a mouth on him, that was for sure.

Xander sat down and shot an apologetic look at Spike. He really didn't want to get into this again, especially in front of their... guests. He couldn't understand why it was such a big deal to Spike to go public with their relationship. It would only cause problems.

"So, you want to start with why you're here or how you got here?"

"Or why your hair looks like that?

Spike couldn't resist throwing in the barb. His double looked entirely too much like the man he used to be before he was turned. Throw in a pair of wire-rimmed specs and he would pass for William just fine.

"Vengeance demon, curse, dimension-hopping, hoping to get home, needed clothes."

"And my hair colour is none of your soddin' business. Wanker."

Xander smiled at his lover and reached under the table to squeeze his thigh. Spike looked smugly at his double and then leaned over and kissed his Xander on the lips. He could hear the other vampire's subvocal growl. He pulled back from Xander's lips and smirked at him.

"That was the edited, edited version pet. Don't think I've ever heard you sum it up better."

This world's Xander and Spike exchanged a look before they both sighed and shook their heads.

"Anya?"

Xander had to ask, she was the only vengeance demon he knew. Besides, from the look of things, she had good reason to curse them. One more reason for him to keep his relationship a secret.

"I think so, yeah. I sorta left her at the altar and then well, this."

"Not to be nosy, but were you two shaggin' when you were still with her?"

"No. I can honestly say I was not shagging Spike when I was with An. He's not the reason I walked away."

Spike studied them both carefully, there was something else going on here; his double wouldn't even look at his Xander, and he kept sneaking glances at Spike's mouth.

"So why'd she curse you as well then? If you weren't buggering the boy when he was hers, why'd she send you along?"

Xander groaned and thumped his head on the table. Tact was something that was lost on Spike. He honestly wondered why he put up with him. Well other than the fact that he was different when it was just the two of them.

"She didn't. I got picked up along the way."

"So you're not even from his world? Did you know the Xander from your reality then?"

"Not well. I kidnapped him once, but he moved to L.A."

Spike looked at his watch and then sighed. He pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Well, this has been fascinating, truly, but we need to get going."

He turned and looked at his Xander and then smirked. A truly evil glint in his eye he continued.

"Your wife will be looking for you after all, won't she?"

Xander pounded his head on the table again. Spike smiled a satisfied smile and began strolling away, whistling a happy tune. He stopped at the edge of the food court and called back over his shoulder.

"Come on pet, you know she gets in a right tizzy when you don't come home for lunch. Don't want to get her batteries in a bunch now do ya?"

~PART 36~

Xander looked between his double and the smirking blonde vampire. He gaped at his vampire and then turned back to Xander.

"Wife? You're married?"

Spike chuckled from a few feet away and Xander sighed.

"Look, come by Buffy's house tonight after sunset. We'll talk then, okay? I need to get Spike into the trunk and head home."

Xander nodded dumbly and watched as his double walked away, catching up to and then smacking a still-chuckling blonde vampire. He turned to look at his Spike and noticed the way he was watching the retreating couple.

"He doesn't treat him very well."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"They're together; I can smell them all over each other, but he acts like he hates me - him."

Xander was shocked. Not because of the him-and-Spike thing going on in this world, but because the him of this reality was married. That was one thing he had sworn he would never do. If he ever got married, he swore he would never cheat, never turn into his father.

"B - but he's married. He can't..."

"He is, he does. The nose doesn't lie, pet. They're shaggin', no doubt about it."

"Well, I guess we'll find out what's going on tonight; come on, we weren't finished shopping. Still need some CD's after all."

"Fine, but can we go to a music store? They don't carry The Pistols at Wal Mart."

Xander chuckled and picked up his bags; Spike grabbed the others and followed behind his human. So far, of all the Xanders he'd met, he liked his the most.

The music store wasn't empty, but it wasn't over crowded either. Most likely due to the fact that it was a school day and not yet lunch break. With any luck, they could get what they came for and be gone before teenagers overran the place.

Spike grinned as he came up behind Xander with a handful of punk CD's. He looked over his lover's shoulder and grimaced at the music he was looking at. Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync.

"You've got to be bloody kidding me. You don't actually listen to that crap do you?"

"Oh and I suppose what you have is any better? What do you have, anyway?"

"Pistols, Queen, The Clash, Ramones. You know, music."

Xander chuckled at Spike and put his apparently crappy CD's down. He held out his hand and Spike handed over his stack. Xander flipped through them, turning them over and reading the play lists. He shrugged his shoulders and handed them back to Spike.

"Okay, we done here? 'Cause I'm starved and I'd like to hit the pizza place before it's invaded by hungry teenagers."

"Sure thing. Then I guess we should see about a place to stay. Don't think the Motor Lodge is a good idea this time."

Grinning, the two made their way to the register before heading out into the mall so Xander could eat.

The Holiday Inn was more expensive than the Motor Lodge, but Xander figured they could afford at least one night here; maybe tomorrow they could see about going back to the Motor Lodge. Spike parked the bike and they went inside.

After unpacking and bespelling their new purchases, Spike reluctantly shed his dark clothes and pulled on a pair of blue jeans and one of the button down shirts. He wished for once that he had a reflection. He knew he looked like a git, he could tell by the way the other Spike had looked at him. But if it kept his identity concealed, it would be worth it.

"So, we have hours to waste before heading to Buffy's, what do you want to do?"

Spike leered at Xander and then crawled onto the bed with him.

"I seem to remember someone making all sorts of interesting promises to me if I behaved and bought some sneakers. So, you tell me, pet. What shall we do?"

Xander batted his eyelashes at Spike and put on his best innocent face. He ducked his head slightly and looked at Spike through his thick lashes.

"Um, well you could teach me... stuff? I don't really know a lot about sex with guys since you're my first."

Xander had to suppress a wicked smirk as Spike's eyes bled from blue to yellow and then back again. Oh yeah, reminding him that he gets to corrupt the innocent young human was a good idea. A very good idea.

Spike stood and looked at Xander as if he were trying to decide what to teach him first. He then smiled, a true smile, and crooked his finger at the young man on the bed.

"Come here, luv."

Once Xander was standing in front of him, Spike pulled him close and kissed him softly before whispering in his ear.

"Strip."

Xander swallowed and then took two steps back from the vampire before pulling at his clothes. Spike chuckled and told him to slow down. Once Xander was naked, he looked at Spike and waited for his next command.

"Undress me, slowly, I want to enjoy it."

Xander started on the buttons of Spike's shirt. One by one he slowly unfastened them, taking time to caress the smooth silky skin of Spike's chest as it was slowly revealed. He had to congratulate himself; this had been a good idea on his part.

"Take it off of me."

Xander slid the shirt down over Spike's shoulders, letting it slip from his arms to land on the floor. He ran his fingers lightly from Spike's collarbone down his chest and stomach to stop at the waistband of his jeans. He gave Spike a wicked grin and then dropped to his knees.

Spike watched as Xander lowered himself to his knees and then groaned as his boy rubbed his face against his crotch before tugging the top button of his jeans open with his teeth. He hadn't expected Xander to be so inventive, not this early on in their relationship. He wasn't about to complain though, not when he could feel the hot breath of his lover ghosting across his skin.

"Yeah, that's nice pet. Keep going."

Xander moved on to the next button and tugged it open as well. He nuzzled his face into the opening of Spike's jeans and licked at the skin he found there; he felt the wiry hair tickle his chin and pulled back to open the next button.

Another button opened and Xander could see the thick shaft of the vampire's cock. He licked it and then placed small biting kisses along the exposed side. Spike sucked in a breath and let out a low moan.

"God, pet. Get me out, use your hands."

Xander made short work of the remaining buttons and pulled the jeans down Spike's legs. He looked at the hard, leaking cock in front of him and waited to be told what to do next. He didn't have to wait long.

"Suck me."

The feel of warm, wet suction nearly did him in. Spike allowed his demon to come forth in a bid for control. He didn't want to shoot his load so quickly. He was enjoying this, having control, teaching Xander exactly how to pleasure him. Made him feel strong again, like a proper vampire.

"Oh fuck, yeah pet that's it, take me in. Suck me Xander, fuck you're so good."

Xander bobbed his head up and down the vampire's shaft; he looked up to see that Spike was in game face and felt his own cock swell to painful proportions. This was the Spike he remembered from home, in control, dominant, and holy fuck; sexy as hell.

Xander moaned piteously as Spike pushed him away from his treat. He tried to get it back but found himself picked up and tossed onto the bed. Spike slithered onto the bed and sat with his back against the headboard. He reached down for the bag on the floor and came back up with a bottle of lube.

"Get yerself ready for me luv, I want to watch you."

Xander took the bottle and squirted some of the slick gel onto his fingers and cautiously inserted one finger into himself. He looked up at Spike and blushed at the look of concentration on his face.

"More."

Xander added another finger and began stretching himself. He felt sort of... dirty touching himself like this, but at the same time it was such a turn-on, knowing that Spike was getting off on this. He waited until he was told before adding a third finger.

Spike watched fascinated as his boy did everything he said. He was sure he would be met with blushes and stammers and embarrassment when he told him to prepare himself. He was pleasantly surprised by Xander's acquiescence.

"Enough. Come here, luv. I want you to ride me."

Xander looked up and Spike saw the rush of arousal spread across his features. He helped to settle Xander on his lap and then let him take over. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Xander lowered himself onto Spike's cock.

Spike hissed as his erection was slowly encased in burning heat. He dug his fingernails painfully into his palms to keep from grabbing Xander and thrusting up into him. Once Xander's ass was flush against his thighs, Spike opened yellow eyes and waited for the boy to move.

The first tentative movements made Spike's eyes roll back in his head. Eventually Xander found a comfortable rhythm and began to ride him with enthusiasm. Once Spike was sure he could control himself, he let his demon face fall away and leaned in to kiss Xander without the threat of fangs.

In this position, Xander was able to angle himself so that his prostate was stroked on every thrust. He knew he wasn't going to last long, especially once Spike had begun fisting his cock as well. He couldn't help but speed up until he was fucking himself with abandon on his lover's thick shaft. He screamed into Spike's mouth as he shot his cum all over the vampire's hand and chest. He felt Spike stiffen beneath him as his bowels were loaded with cool fluid.

"Bloody hell, Xander. If that's what you can do the first time, you'll be the final death of me once you've gotten in some practice."

Xander just chuckled and melted against his chest. Spike lifted Xander off of him and then carried him into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet in the tub and then lowered them both into the water. A nice hot soak was a perfect finale to an exceptionally good shag.

"Mmm, water feels nice. Thanks Spike."

"You're welcome luv. Rest now, we'll go see the others once the sun sets."

~PART 37~

Standing outside the Summers' house, Xander held Spike to him tightly. He knew this wasn't going to be easy on his lover, being inside the home of the slayer. He could only hope that in this reality, Riley wasn't around. He could have kicked himself for not asking beforehand.

"Do you want me to go in first? Check things out?"

"Yes, but I'm not letting you go in there alone. I'll deal."

"Say the word and we turn around and leave. We don't have to do this."

Spike sighed and burrowed deeper into Xander's arms. He really did want to leave, but at the same time he was tired of always being afraid. He wanted his life back, and to get it he had to start facing his fears. This place was as good as any to start.

"I'll let you know if it gets to be too much. Come on, luv. Let's not keep them waiting; 'sides I want to meet your wife."

Xander rolled his eyes and watched as Spike removed his ring and shoved it deep into his pants pocket. Xander raised an eyebrow in question.

"I had my hand in my pocket earlier, I don't think they saw it. Think I'd like to keep it that way. For now at least."

"Okay, but if things start looking bad, you put it on. No arguments."

"No arguments."

Xander went up the steps, Spike beside him, and rang the bell. As he waited for someone to answer the door, he felt nervous; he didn't know what was going on in this world, but he didn't like the implications. He was married, apparently, and involved with Spike.

"Oh my God! It's true! There really are two of you!"

Spike stepped back from the squealing teenager and Xander just smiled. Dawn was still very much Dawn in this world, something Xander was grateful for. He had missed her.

"Hey, Dawnie. Is Xander here? And wow does that ever sound weird."

Dawn smiled and stepped back from the door. Xander cleared his throat and inclined his head toward Spike.

"He needs an invite."

"Oh. I just thought, you know, since he's Spike that he could come in."

Xander looked at his vampire and got a shrug in response. This was something they hadn't had to deal with before. Spike reached out and put his hand through the doorway - no barrier.

"See? I was right."

Dawn crossed her arms over her chest and smirked at them. Xander could see Spike's influence on the girl and grinned. It was just like back home. He took Spike's hand and together they walked into the house. Dawn looked at their joined hands and smiled.

"Xander is still in the shower, but Spike is in the kitchen. I'll get him."

Xander pulled his Spike down onto the sofa beside him and they waited for Dawn to come back with Spike. Xander could see that Spike was making an effort not to simply get up and leave. He appreciated it, but he wished his lover had told him that he was this uncomfortable.

"You okay? Wanna leave?"

"M'fine Xan, just a bit unsettled."

Xander pulled Spike close and kissed him. It was a kiss full of love and reassurance. Spike moaned softly into Xander's mouth and pulled him closer. This was exactly what he needed. For some reason, Xander's presence calmed him like nothing else. They broke apart at the sound of a cleared throat followed by a girlish squeal. Xander and Spike both looked up to see a grinning teenager and a slightly amused blonde vampire.

"Oh my God! You guys are like so hot together."

Dawn spun around and slapped the blonde Spike on the arm.

"How come you and Xander aren't together? Look at them, don't they make a cute couple?"

"I'm not soddin' cute."

The brunette Spike grumbled from his position on the couch. Xander had to disagree with that statement, especially at the moment, seeing as Spike was pouting. That full bottom lip pushed out in such a way that it was taking all his considerable willpower to refrain from sucking it into his mouth and biting down on it. His distress must have been obvious, for Spike turned and leered at him before sucking his lip into his own mouth and making Xander groan in frustration.

"You two need to be alone?"

Blonde Spike, infuriatingly smug. Or jealous - it was hard to tell, but Xander was pretty sure there was some resentment going on there. Maybe it was just as well that Spike had put his ring away. This Spike didn't seem overly taken with the idea of them being here.

"Nah, we're good."

"Mmm, yes. You were very good, pet."

Brunette Spike leered at his lover, while surreptitiously watching his blonde counterpart out of the corner of his eye. Yep, definitely some resentment there.

"I'll go see what's keeping Xander. Bit? You should haul your arse if you're gonna make that movie with Janice."

"Yeah, yeah. You guys just wanna get rid of me so you can have 'grown-up talk' with these two."

"Dawn."

"I'm going! Sheesh, you'd think I was five or something by the way you guys treat me. You're worse than mom was."

Spike growled and Dawn headed for the door. She picked up her purse and keys and then left. Spike watched from the doorway until she was safely across the street at Janice's house. Then he went upstairs to see what was taking Xander so long.

Spike found Xander in the guest room. He watched as he moved around the room, adjusting the curtains and plugging in the battery charger. He waited until Xander flipped the switch on and turned around to leave before speaking.

"Wifey all settled in for the night then? Good. Our doppelgangers are downstairs in the living room. You plan on telling them about us or you wanna play the 'I just tolerate him for Dawn's sake' card here, too?"

Xander turned off the light and sighed as he left the room. He reached out for Spike but the vampire stepped back out of reach. Xander ran his fingers through his hair, stopping to pull on it in his frustration.

"Fuck, Spike! Why do you have to be like this? Isn't it enough that I want to be with you? Do we have to tell everyone?"

"Yessss!"

Spike hissed out between clenched teeth. He was tired of being a dirty little secret, if they were going to be together, he wanted the boy's friends to know.

"Bloody hell, Xander. Why are you so friggin' ashamed of me?"

"I'm not! God, can we please not do this right now? We'll talk later, I promise. After they've left, okay?"

Spike wasn't happy but he nodded his head. He even stayed put this time as Xander came toward him. He promised himself he was not going to kiss back, not this time. He couldn't help it though, the moment those soft, warm lips touched his, he was lost. He was love's bitch, might as well act the part.

Xander held Spike in his arms for a brief moment before letting him go. He licked his lips - tasting Spike - and then headed for the stairs. He wasn't looking forward to this; he honestly didn't understand why he'd even invited their doubles over tonight. They had done nothing but stir up trouble for him. Xander looked back to see if Spike was following him.

"Shall we get this over then?"

"Yeah, you go in first though, I've already interrupted them snoggin' once. Dawn thinks they make a cute couple."

Now Xander understood. That was why Spike was in a mood, Dawn knew about their doubles being together and was okay with it. More reason for Spike to push about coming out to their friends.

~PART 38~

Xander warily entered the front room. He was pleased to find both Spike and his double sitting on the sofa, holding hands but thankfully, not kissing.

"Hey."

Xander looked up at his double and smiled somewhat ruefully. Sure he was curious about the whole being- married-yet-boinking-Spike aspect of this version of himself, but he was now wondering if he shouldn't have just blown this off and stayed in the room with Spike - learning things.

"Hey, yourself."

Spike snorted from behind Xander and strolled into the room. He flopped down in the chair next to the sofa and gave his double a good going-over. He still couldn't believe that his double looked so poncy. Where was the blonde hair? The tight black clothes? The leather and Doc's? Bloody hell, he looked pathetic.

"It's camouflage, ya wanker! Stop looking at me like I'm Angel, fer Chrissakes!"

"I would if ya didn't look like such a bleedin' poof!"

Spike had had enough; he stood up and snarled at his double. Blonde Spike stood as well. Both Xanders waited, ready to interfere if necessary, but not willing to interrupt just yet.

"Just who the hell do you think you are? Calling me a poof? I happen to know that you and the boy there are shaggin' each other, so isn't that a bit hypocritical of you, mate?"

"Not what I meant, and you soddin' well know it! Leave me and Xander out of this; this is about you looking like him."

Both Xanders exchanged a confused look. Oh they both knew that they were talking about William, they just couldn't understand why it upset blonde Spike so much.

"We are him."

"No! I'm not! William was a bleedin' ponce. He was weak and soppy; let everyone walk all over him. I. Am. Not. Him."

"Yes he was all that. But he was more, he was a good man, he loved, he had friends, family. The only thing he ever wanted was to be loved in return. If that isn't you, than we are nothing alike."

It was like watching a car wreck. Spike - blonde Spike - seemed to cave in on himself, like everything he had been, was suddenly torn away. He looked at his double's Xander, standing behind him, one hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. Then he looked at his Xander - closed off, face like stone, purposely keeping any and all emotion carefully locked away. He knew at that moment that he was William, always had been and always would be.

He wanted what his double had. If it meant changing his hair and dark clothes, he'd do it in an instant. He couldn't understand how it was that this Xander loved his double so openly and his Xander wouldn't even touch him in public. It hurt. A lot.

"Maybe we should go. We didn't come for this, I'm sorry."

Xander began tugging Spike toward the door. He didn't care about his questions now. For all he cared, this Xander could boff half of Sunnydale while his wife stayed home and made cookies. He wanted to go back to the hotel and just hold his vampire close. The look of raw pain on the other Spike's face made him ache in sympathy. His double was a fool.

Before they made it to the door, Spike stopped Xander and whispered in his ear. He reminded him of the spell that Willow had cast on him, and asked if that was a possibility here. He honestly didn't like seeing himself in such pain, it was obvious - to him at least - that his double was very much in love with the stubborn human.

"Oh God! I never even thought. I'm such an idiot."

Xander rested his head on Spike's shoulder as the vampire wrapped him in his arms. He laid a soft kiss to Spike's neck and then stepped back enough to turn and face his double.

"We need to talk. Alone. Now."

While the Xanders headed for the kitchen, Spike sat back down on the sofa and watched as his double paced and pulled out a cigarette. He reached for one himself and lit up. He didn't smoke a lot anymore, not since he'd taken up with Xander; he didn't want to make his lover sick after all.

"You love him, don't you?"

Spike stopped pacing and with a sigh he fell onto the couch beside his double.

"That obvious? Pillock doesn't see it, he thinks this is just goods times for both of us."

"Why are you here then? I mean, he's a married man."

Spike snorted. Then he cracked a smile. Then he laughed out loud. He looked at his double's dumbfounded expression and totally lost it. He had tears streaming down his face by the time he got himself under control.

"Thanks for that, mate. Needed a good laugh, I did. Let me tell you a little story about Xander's wife."

In the kitchen, Xander watched his double pace back and forth. He had just told him about Willow and the spell, how he had been happier these last few weeks than he had ever been.

"But why? I mean, why would she do that? She's my friend. And gay, she's a lesbian for God's sake."

"Was she gay in high school? Or was she in love with you at the time? 'Cause my Wills was in love with me in high school; she didn't like girls until she met Tara."

Xander sighed. He didn't want to believe what his double was saying, but he knew that Willow was capable of this, he'd seen what she did to Tara, to all of them with her Tabula Rasa spell.

"How do I break the spell? If I am under a spell, I want it gone."

"Well, you could ask Willow to remove it. Or you could ask Tara; personally I'd go with Tara. She would understand what you're going through. I wanted to ask you though, how did you end up with Spike? I never thought about him that way until after the spell was removed."

Xander sighed. He didn't understand it either. Some days, he still didn't feel attracted to Spike that way, but others... it was all he could do to keep his hands to himself when they weren't alone.

"After Buffy and Anya died, Spike and I spent a lot of time together looking after Dawn. After a particularly rough patrol one night we went back to his place and got wasted; the girls were keeping Dawn at the dorm for the night so we drank ourselves stupid. Woke up the next morning, hung over, sore all over, and naked in bed with Spike. Naked Spike."

Xander snorted as he remembered what happened next.

"I beat him to a pulp. Accused him of taking advantage of me, damn near staked him."

"What stopped you?"

"One word - chip. I realised as soon as Spike said it that he was right. He couldn't have done anything to me without my wanting it. I grabbed my gear and ran out. I threw up outside the crypt, Christ I felt like shit. I couldn't believe what I'd done. You know, Dad always said I was a fag, and then I beat the shit out of my lover. Living up to the old Harris name."

"Then what? I mean obviously something happened, or you wouldn't be together now."

Xander laughed, it was a pain-filled, self-loathing kind of laugh.

"I got married. After the reception - joke that it was - I found Spike and apologised. He was really good about it, didn't blame me for anything. Said he probably would have done the same in my place. He forgave me. Then I kissed him. It's been on and off ever since. Some days I think I love him, but other days, other days I don't understand why I'm with him. I look at him and I see Spike - vampire, man, possibly friend, but he does nothing for me below the belt, you know?"

Xander nodded. He could understand that. It sounded like the spell was breaking down on its own. Maybe this Willow wasn't as powerful as his; either that or she was doing this, taking the spell off slowly so no one would notice anything.

"About your wife? Does she know what's going on?"

"No. It's not what you think. My marriage is a sham. Hell, my wife isn't even a real person. She's a Stepford wife"

"Stepford wife? Explain please."

In the living room, Spike was staring at his double in shock. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"A robot? You're telling me, you had a sex bot built that looked like the slayer, and now the boy is married to it?"

"Yep. That about covers it."

"Bloody hell. And you said I was pathetic? You built a shag toy. You fell in love with a slayer. You, mate, take the top prize in the pathetic category."

Spike snorted and then shrugged his shoulders. It was probably true. Brunette Spike got a nasty look in his eyes and then asked.

"So, is he shaggin' the bot?"

In the kitchen, Xander was just about on the floor he was laughing so hard.

"You married the Buffy-bot? Oh God! You married Spike's sex toy. What the hell did you do that for?"

Xander glared at his laughing doppelganger. It wasn't like he had wanted to.

"Dawn. I did it for Dawn. So that the CFS wouldn't take her away. This way, she has two guardians, one with a stable job and a good income. I did it so that we could keep her here in Sunnydale."

That sobered Xander up quite a bit. It wasn't something they had even considered back home. Then again, Anya wasn't dead back home either. He giggled as a thought occurred to him.

"So... did you and the bot ever... "

Xander laughed again at the look of shock and embarrassment on his twin's face.

~PART 39~

Hmm. where to start. Well, we've been here for three days now. This world has a Spike/Xander couple as well, only they're a mess. Xander was under the same spell I was, only it was wearing off. Poor Spike, he got the worst of it; Xander couldn't make up his mind if he wanted him or not.

I know it sounds stupid, but I'm starting to feel like there might be a purpose to this journey, I mean look at Spike. I saved him from a fate worse than death, that's a good enough reason to go through this, but maybe there is more? Or am I just trying to rationalise this 'cause I don't want to believe that Anya could do something like this to me for no apparent reason?

Xander put his journal away and turned on the TV. As usual there wasn't much on other than Jerry Springer or soap operas. This was why he worked during the day; TV sucked. He looked over at his vampire and smiled. Spike was reading through a copy of Rolling Stone and listening to the CD player. He was singing along softly to some old Queen song.

Xander smiled and turned off the TV, he'd rather listen to Spike sing over Jerry's guests' bitching and moaning any day. Surprisingly, Spike had a really nice singing voice. He sounded good - when he wasn't screeching along to Sid Vicious. If Xander had any say, Spike would listen to Queen more often; they had some good songs, and he liked to hear Spike sing.

There was a knock at the door and Xander got up to answer it. Xander and Spike were the only ones who knew they were here so he wasn't worried. He swung the door open and gasped at what he saw.

"Dawn! Jesus Christ! What happened?"

Xander pulled Dawn into the room and Spike stood up and came over to join them.

"Willow, she went crazy. She found out about Xander and Spike and about Tara... Why didn't you guys tell me? Anyway, she flipped out. She tried to stake Spike, Xander stopped her and Spike took off, but she's looking for him, probably you guys too."

Spike fished his ring out of his jeans and put it on. He wasn't taking any chances - not with a crazy witch on the loose. He went to the bathroom and got Dawn a glass of water while Xander settled her into a chair and tried to calm her down.

"Where is Xander? And why are you here?"

"He went after Willow; he told me to come to you, that he trusted you to watch out for me."

Spike handed Dawn the glass and she thanked him. She sipped the water and waited. Eventually, Xander must have come to a decision because he stood up and headed for his jacket.

"Where did they go?"

"Tara said she had a cousin in L.A., she told Xander she would be there until she could get transferred to UCLA."

"Stay here. Don't open the door for anyone but me or Spike. Either version."

Dawn nodded and then realised what was happening.

"You're going after her. What about Spike? It's still daytime?"

Spike gave her a gentle smile. She was a good kid, and he could see why his other self and both Xanders loved her.

"Don't worry 'bout me pet. My Xander takes real good care of me, he does. Made me sunproof, he did."

Spike winked at her before opening the door and stepping outside. Dawn gaped in shock before turning on Xander.

"You... How?"

"It's a secret, and it has to stay that way. At least until we're gone. Let's just say one version of me was a warlock, and he did me a few favours."

"Be careful."

"We will. If I don't see you again before we leave, it was nice spending time with you, I have really missed you."

Dawn hugged Xander goodbye and then watched from the window as he climbed on the motorbike behind Spike and they drove away. She was still scared about what Willow might do, that was why she picked up the phone and dialed Giles in England.

Halfway to L.A. they pulled into a rest stop to get gas and use the bathroom - at least Xander used the bathroom. Just before heading back out onto the highway, Spike asked Xander if he had any idea where to start looking for Tara in L.A.

"Nope. Figured we'd pop in on Angel. He's 'The Great Mousse Detective' these days. See if he can find her."

"Yeah, if he don't try to stake me first. This version of me don't get on too well with the poof."

"Yeah well, Deadboy tries anything, he'll be in an ashtray."

Xander kissed Spike and then they headed back out. They'd be in L.A. in just over an hour, maybe less the way Spike drove. He had to wonder why the hell he was getting involved in this. If not for the fact that he was the one to bring up the possible spell use in the first place, he'd have just looked after Dawn and left the rest up to Xander. He wondered if the other Spike was on his way to L.A. as well.

Just as they pulled up in front of the Hyperion and were getting off the bike, they heard a car squeal around the corner before it pulled up alongside them. Xander and Spike both groaned in realisation - Spike. There was no mistaking the DeSoto; the blacked out windows were a dead give away.

"So much for keeping my secret, eh luv?"

"No matter, he'll have to go through me to get it. You he can hurt, me... not so much."

The passenger side window rolled down about an inch, and over the sound of The Sex Pistols they distinctly heard Spike holler.

"One of you bleedin' gits want to get the bloody door? Don't fancy catching fire, ta very much."

Xander shook his head and he and Spike headed for the front door of the hotel. They held it open and watched as Spike - duster over his head - flew past them and into the lobby of the hotel.

"Well, that settles the problem of trying to stake you."

"We'll see."

Xander - followed by Spike, entered the hotel and were not at all surprised to see Spike standing in the lobby with both Cordy and Wesley pointing crossbows at him. This was the reception they were expecting. Spike was too, by the look on his face.

"Fer Christ's sake, princess! Just get the poof, would ya?"

Xander looked from Cordy to Spike to Wesley, back to Spike, and then cleared his throat.

"Er, hi guys. Angel around?"

~PART 40~

"And that is why we're here."

Xander had just finished explaining - for the second time - why he was here in L.A., with two Spikes. Cordy wouldn't even get Angel until Xander explained it to her and Wesley first. Meanwhile, blonde Spike was slowly going out of his mind.

"So Willow is crazy? And here in L.A.?"

"Basically, yeah. She's let the magic overcome her; she wants Tara back and she won't stop until she has her. The other me is here somewhere already, but we don't know where Tara's cousin lives - that's where you come in."

Angel sighed and nodded his head. Having Willow here in L.A. - in this condition - was not good. No doubt Wolfram and Hart would just love to get a hold of someone as powerful as she.

"Cordy, get on the net and see what you can find. Wes, start looking for a spell or something to bind her or drain her powers - something. I'll go ask around if anyone matching her description has been seen in L.A. Spike... er, blonde Spike, you're with me. Xander? You and... Spike... wait here."

Angel could be heard muttering about the redemption points he should be earning having two Spikes in his hotel as he walked away. Xander and brunette Spike smiled at each other and than went to see if they could do anything to help.

After being glared at by Cordelia, they decided Wes was a better option and offered to research the books with him. After he got over the initial shock of being offered help by William the Bloody, he was thankful for the assistance.

After about an hour of searching through musty old books, the front door of the hotel burst open and Xander and Tara walked into the lobby. Wesley couldn't help but be intrigued by the similarities and differences of the two Xanders; other than their clothing and the length of their hair, they looked exactly the same. Cordy just rolled her eyes.

"Great. I suppose Willow the wicked witch will be coming here now. Thanks Xan, I haven't been in a life-threatening situation all week. I was beginning to actually feel safe here in L.A. What was I thinking?"

"Where's Angel?"

"He took Spike out to shake down some informants. The other two of you, are helping Wesley research."

No sooner did Cordy finish speaking then all hell broke loose. Angel and Spike came back in through the kitchen just as the front doors blew off their hinges and a very pissed off Willow floated through the entryway. Xander grabbed his Spike and they ducked under the table. Wesley began chanting a spell, only to have Willow fling her magic at him and knock him across the room.

"This isn't looking promising, pet." "No kidding."

Xander heard Cordelia yell 'Giles! Thank God!' just before the world began to spin.

When Xander next opened his eyes, he knew that he and Spike had shifted again. Not only was it quiet, but the hotel was dark and empty. He wondered if anyone even lived here in this reality.

"Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?"

"This place is empty."

Spike cocked his head and listened. He sniffed the air and then looked around. With a frown on his face he stood up and then reached for Xander. After pulling him to his feet he held him still and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Angel is here, luv. I can sense him. No one else though, no human scents in the building at all. Not fresh ones anyhow."

"You think he's Angelus again?"

"Don't rightly know; don't care to find out either. Let's grab our gear and get the hell out of this place, yeah?"

"Okay."

They were just about to the door when Xander was tackled by a snarling, vamped-out Angel. He barely had time to register the attack before Spike grabbed the other vampire and flung him away. The two vampires stood growling at each other and then Angel's demon face melted away to reveal a shocked expression.

"William? How... It can't be. Am I hallucinating?"

Spike let his game face subside as well, but he stood his ground in front of Angel, keeping Xander behind him and out of reach. Xander slowly got to his feet and put his hand on Spike's shoulder.

"Angel or Angelus?"

He whispered into Spike's ear. Spike shrugged his shoulders and then repeated the question to his Sire.

"I'm not evil, Wil. How is it you? Are you from the past?"

Spike laughed, a short, bitter sound.

"Hardly, mate. But I'm not from your world either. What's the idea attacking my Xander if you're not evil?"

Angel stepped back in shock, his eyes widened almost comically.

"Xander?"

Xander peeked over Spike's shoulder at Angel and gave him a weak smile. He still didn't trust him not to attack him again.

"Hey, Deadboy."

"You're alive! Really alive, not a vampire, not dust. How?"

"Um, long story. Really long story."

Before anyone could answer, there was an ear-splitting wail from the upper level of the hotel. Angel took off at a run toward it and left Spike and Xander standing slack-jawed in the lobby. They both recognised the sound of the voice - Spike

~PART 41~

Spike and Xander exchanged a quick look before following Angel up the stairs. They didn't know what exactly was going on inside the old hotel, but they knew that it was nothing good, not judging from the inhuman wail they had just heard.

The scene that awaited them upstairs was enough to send Spike back into his own mind for protection. Xander barely caught him as he collapsed in on himself.

Spike, or what resembled Spike, was staring wide-eyed at nothing, screaming, and rocking back and forth. It was the straightjacket that really threw Xander for a loop. He wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him, what Angel had done to him. But his first priority was the vampire in his arms.

Angel whipped his head around as Spike's wails increased in volume and he began to thrash about in his restraints. Xander saw the golden eyes, the feral expression - directed at him - and knew that this was not Angel's doing. Angel was trying to help Spike; the restraints were likely for Spike's own good.

"Leave. Now. You're making him worse."

"Okay, I'm gone - we're gone."

Xander lifted Spike into his arms and began walking away. He didn't want to be the cause of that Spike's distress, and he had other things to deal with right now. He was at the bottom of the stairs when Angel reached out and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"I'm sorry. He doesn't react well to humans. Especially men. Can we meet later? There's a coffee shop around the corner, about an hour?"

"Okay. If I'm not there, wait for me. Spike needs me right now."

"What happened to him?"

"Long story. Later, eh?"

Xander managed to get Spike and the motorbike outside. He went back in for their bags and then carefully drove them to the closest hotel. He was nowhere near as good on the bike as Spike was, but he managed fairly well for a guy with only two lessons and a practically comatose vampire strapped to his back.

The hotel was not one of the nicest places he'd ever stayed in but the bedding was clean and there were no mildew monsters in the bathroom, so it would do.

Xander led Spike inside and laid him gently on the bed. He then drew a hot bath before coming back and clinically undressing his lover and carrying him into the bathroom. Xander lowered them both into the water and held Spike to his chest, gently wetting him down and beginning to wash him.

About halfway through, Spike began to come around again. He started at first, then realised that Xander was with him. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sudden barrage of images his mind was spitting at him. He didn't want to relive this; he wasn't strong enough to go through it again. Not yet anyway.

Spike turned his head more and burrowed into Xander's chest. He felt strong arms wrap around him, gentle kisses were pressed into his hair and soothing sounds were whispered into his ear. He felt safe here, only here, only with Xander.

Xander felt Spike begin to shudder before the first icy tears hit his warm skin. Spike was crying. Xander had no idea what to do for him; he could only continue to hold him, to offer comfort and soft words of assurance.

"Xander."

A pitiful whisper of his name. It made his chest constrict. He hated hearing Spike so hurt, so broken. He once again hated leaving Riley Finn in one piece. If he could go back, he would tear him apart with his bare hands.

"I'm here, love. I'll always be here."

Xander's arms tightened as Spike began to cry in earnest. Harsh, broken sounds followed by a high keening wail that spoke volumes about his state of mind. Seeing the other Spike, the way he looked, must have brought all Spike's repressed memories to the fore.

Eventually the sobbing tapered off, the water turned cool, and they had no choice but to abandon their safe-haven in the bathtub. Xander dried them both and once again scooped Spike into his arms. He tucked him into the bed and kissed him gently.

"I'm going out for a bit. I told Angel I'd meet him to talk, you should stay here and rest. I won't be long."

Xander got dressed under the watchful eye of his lover. Once he was finished dressing he sat down on the bed beside Spike again and kissed him.

"I'll be at the coffee shop around the corner from Angel's hotel. It's not far from here. I'll stay if you need me."

Spike gave him a gentle smile.

"S'okay luv, you go talk to Angel. I could use the time alone. Sort my head out."

Xander nodded and headed for the door. He picked up his jacket and was just stepping out the door when Spike called out to him.

"Xander?"

So hesitant, so unsure.

"You are coming back? Right?"

Xander was back inside and had Spike in his arms in an instant. He held him tightly and felt his eyes fill with unshed tears. That Spike felt he needed to ask that, it broke his heart.

"Of course I am. Spike, I'm always going to come back to you. I... I love you."

Xander felt the body in his arms sag with relief so he said it again.

"I love you, Spike. I'll always come back."

Arms like steel bands crushed him to the vampire's chest. The tears spilled freely down his cheeks and a soft voice replied in kind.

"I love you too, Xander, I love you too."

~PART 42~

Well, luv. You've just left to meet the ponce, and can I say how bloody difficult it was to send you away after you told me you loved me? Honestly, if I didn't need the time to get my head on straight, you'd be in this bed with me instead of this stupid bloody book.

I can feel the hopelessness welling up inside me again. I've been lost for so long, love. So long that I can hardly believe I'm not anymore. I'm not, right? This is real? You. And me. You and me? Oh fuck, Xander, hurry back, hurry love. I need you. Scared, so bloody scared without you.

Xander sat impatiently waiting for Angel to show up. He wanted to go back to Spike, hold him in his arms and just be with him. This was nuts. He was sitting in a coffee shop waiting for Deadboy when his lover was alone in a strange place. Xander laid a bill down on the table and got up to leave.

Angel caught Xander just as he was going out the door. He offered to walk him back to his hotel, they could talk on the way. Xander nodded and headed out into the night.

"So, what's the deal with Spike? Who the hell did that to him?"

"I don't know. You brought him to me and... well, I guess it wasn't you, he was Xander - but a vampire. He was Spike's childe. He died in the lobby of the hotel. An arrow; the man who shot him died just after firing it."

"Okay, so vamp-me brings Spike to you, bites the big one in your hotel lobby and you have no idea who made Spike nuts?"

"Basically. He was like that when his childe carried him in."

"Have you asked him?"

"Of course! He just... he doesn't speak. He screams, he cries, and he wails. He doesn't speak. He's tried to kill himself, he's clawed himself bloody; I had to restrain him to keep him from harming himself."

Xander really didn't want to know this; he didn't want to see what his Spike could have been. He knew, deep in his soul, he knew it was Riley. Who else could it have been?

"Angel, the man that killed my vamp-self. What did he look like? Anything in particular you can remember?"

"He was about your age, maybe a few years older. He was Caucasian, short hair - brush cut actually, other than that no."

Xander shook his head. It didn't sound like Riley, but it certainly fit the profile of a soldier.

"When's the last time you talked to Buffy? Do you know anything about the Initiative?"

"I know that Spike was captured, they chipped him and then he escaped. Buffy was sure that Xander had come for him and they had left together. Why?"

"Because, if I'm right, and I know I am. Riley Finn, Buffy's boyfriend, is responsible for Spike. He had my Spike before I rescued him, well we rescued him. The Angel from his world helped me get him out of Sunnydale and away from Riley."

Xander could feel the shock and anger pouring off of Angel in waves. He was glad he wasn't Riley Finn about now. It would serve the bastard right, let him meet Angelus one-on-one. Only thing was, Xander wanted a piece of him for himself. If he couldn't kill the bastard that had hurt his lover, then the next best thing would have to do.

"When you find him, don't kill him right away. I don't know how long Spike and I have in this reality but I want a piece of that bastard. You come and get me once he's secure."

"Xander..."

"No, Angel. Please, don't deny me my revenge. I need this... Spike needs this. Please."

"Alright. Just, what the hell did they do to my childe?"

"Everything you can imagine, and then a few things you couldn't. And Angel? I've met Angelus, so I know what you can imagine."

Angel's demon came to the fore, and Xander knew he was dealing with Angelus now. He stood his ground and looked the demon straight in the eye.

"I will allow you revenge, but his death belongs to me."

"Fair enough."

Angel's face smoothed out and they nodded to one another in understanding. Xander reached his door and turned back to the dark-haired vampire.

"Angel? Make sure Spike knows that he's safe, that you won't let Riley or the Initiative near him again."

"I will. Thank you, Xander."

Angel turned and headed back to his hotel. He had a lot to do before leaving for Sunnydale. By the end of the night, Riley Finn would be his. He was even looking forward to this. No one messed with his family.

Xander watched Angel walk away; he was looking forward to getting a little payback for Spike, a little justice, a little vengeance. And thanks to his countless hours listening to Anya rattle on about her demon days, he knew a lot more about how to hurt a man without killing him then he had ever wanted to. Until now, now he would put that knowledge to use.

Spike heard the key in the lock and opened his eyes; he trained his sights on the door, willing Xander to walk in and save him from his own traitorous thoughts. He needed to hold him, touch him, taste him. He had to know this was real, not some imaginary fantasy he had cooked up inside his own mind.

The doorknob turned and Spike tensed. He was coiled like a panther, waiting to strike. If it were anyone but his Xander, he was ready to flee. But if it was Xander, then he was ready to pounce, to feel him in his arms, to kiss him, to touch him, to take him.

"Hey, Spike. You awa..."

Xander's words were lost under the onslaught of about one hundred and forty pounds of vampire barrelling at his chest. He fell to the floor with an oomph, before his mouth was taken in a possessive kiss.

Spike's hands were everywhere, pulling at his clothes, tearing the fabric in his haste. Xander gave himself over completely to the whims of his very determined lover and let him shred his coverings until they were skin to skin.

"Xander."

Moaned into his neck.

"My Xander. Love you; love you, sweet boy. My boy."

Kisses were peppered along his throat up to his ear. Xander groaned as Spike sucked the soft lobe into his mouth and bit down on it gently. He pulled Spike's face to his own and kissed him deeply.

"Love you too, Spike. Always."

The bed was only a few feet away but it was a few feet too many, Spike refused to give up possession of his lover's body even for the seconds it would take to get up and stumble across the room. With desperation and determination, he flipped Xander onto his belly and then pulled him up to his knees.

"Spike, what are you... ahhh!"

Spike pulled Xander's cheeks apart and began loosening him with his tongue. He had no patience or desire to dig through their stuff to find the lube. Besides, Xander seemed to be enjoying this now anyway - at least by the sounds he was making.

"God, Spike. Holy fuck, never knew. Never knew it felt like this. Shit, more please, please, please."

Spike reached around Xander and shoved three of his fingers into the babbling human's mouth. Once they were good and wet he replaced his tongue with his fingers and began scissoring them apart. He spat into his other hand and liberally coated his shaft. Once he was certain that Xander was ready, he pulled his fingers out and flipped Xander onto his back again before slamming inside him.

"Wanted to see you love, watch you as I make love to you. My Xander, mine."

"Yours, Spike. All yours. Love you."

Spike sealed their mouths together and poured everything he had into that kiss. He used his entire body to make Xander understand the depths of his feelings for him, the overwhelming need and devotion he felt for him. He wanted Xander to know that he loved him more than anything, or anyone. That his was a love for the ages, forever to him meant forever.

"Love you Xander, forever. Forever, mine. My boy."

"Yes, Gods yes. Yours Spike, always yours."

And then they were cumming, together in love, always in love

~PART 43~

It was with a sickening delight that Angel returned to his hotel and his childe. He had had to tranquilize Spike before leaving; the younger vampire's mental state was just too far gone to leave him conscious and alone. But now that his business was in order - that being one Riley Finn who was currently trussed up like a turkey in the trunk of his Plymouth - he wanted to see his childe, be there when the drug wore off and he opened his eyes. He wanted to see if there was any recognition when he told him who he had, and what he planned to do to him.

Angel parked the car in the underground parking and turned off the ignition. He slowly walked to the back of the car, enjoying the scent of fear he could detect even through the layer of metal that separated him from his prey. He would not bring this filth inside his home, but he wasn't taking any chances that he would suffocate down here in the car's trunk. No, that would be too easy. Not a fitting punishment for a man who had broken one of the strongest beings Angel had ever known. No, if Angel had his way, it would take weeks, months even, for the bastard to die. Riley was unceremoniously dragged out of the car and flung into the far corner of the garage. Angel approached him slowly, relishing the look of fear and utter horror on his face. Oh yeah, he could feel his demon's glee and welcomed it as his own. This snivelling human had dared touch what was his, had raped and defiled him in the most horrendous fashion. He recognised the man's scent all over his childe now that he was familiar with its source.

The first of the chains that Angel had left there in preparation was looped around Riley’s legs and then secured with a heavy iron lock. The next set fastened his arms behind his back. A third set was used to immobilize his torso. He was then gagged. The blindfold came last - but not until after he had seen the true face of the man who now held him prisoner. That face and the whisper of a single word in his ear had him wetting his trousers in fear.

"Spike."

That was all Angel said. It was all he needed to say. Riley now knew why he had been abducted, and what he had been abducted by. He was at the non-existent mercy of this hostile over acts that he had performed on another. All his years of study had shown that vampires held no loyalty to one another, no filial associations. He just assumed that he would never be made to pay for his actions, that he would never be caught. Boy was he wrong.

Angel whistled as he took the elevator up to his floor. He stopped by his room to shower and change clothes before checking in on his childe. He didn't want to go in there smelling of the man who had tortured Spike. Once he was free of Finn's scent he made his way quickly down the hall to Spike's room.

The blonde was still out. The drugs seemed to help him to get much-needed rest, but Angel hated to have to administer them. He knew how much Spike hated not being in control so he only used them when the situation was desperate. And tonight it had been. Xander and the other Spike showing up had sent Spike into a blind panic. There hadn't been a human in the hotel for weeks now, not since he'd sent his friends away in favour of looking after his childe.

They thought he was nuts, but they could never understand the bond that the vampires shared. Theirs was a chosen bond. Dru had turned William, but William had chosen Angelus to be his sire and mentor. Their exchange of blood and fealty had been voluntary on both sides. Not something to be taken lightly. Angel had betrayed that bond when his soul was returned; he would not betray it now.

The cool, soothing motions of Angel’s fingers cording through his hair brought Spike out of his stupor. His eyes were still vacant, but they were open now. Angel took a deep calming breath and then lay down on the bed beside Spike so that they were facing one another.

"I know Wil. I know what has happened to you, what was done. I will avenge you."

There was no sign that Spike had heard or understood anything Angel said. The older vampire closed his eyes - not wanting the younger man to see his pain reflected in them. He took a risk, said out loud the one thing that might possibly gain him a reaction.

"Riley Finn."

Spike's eyes widened and he began to tremble, then he wailed. A long broken sound that seemed to go on and on. Angel wept with him, for him. He held the shaking form to his chest and tried to make it better. He spoke of how he had gone to Sunnydale and captured the hapless soldier. Of how he had beaten him bloody and trussed him up before tossing him in the trunk. How even now he was chained up blind and mute in the underground park, and how come sunset, he was going to bring Spike down to watch his torture.

The wailing quieted and the form in his arms grew still. Angel wasn't sure if it was because Spike had shut down again or if he had taken comfort from his vow of revenge. He was afraid to look and see, so he didn't. He scratched a sharp nail into the flesh of his throat and pulled Spike's unresisting head toward the wound. He hoped his blood would help to heal him, but he'd been feeding him as often as his body would allow and so far it hadn't done a thing. As he felt Spike suckling at the wound he began a low rumbling purr in his chest. It was one of the only things he knew without a doubt calmed his childe. Only a sire's purr could induce this level of tranquility in a childe. It was something Spike loved to hear and feel, something Angelus had learned long ago.

You look like an angel when you sleep. All soft and pure, innocent-like. I wonder how you could possibly love me, how you could see anything of worth in this broken vessel. But you do, you do and it amazes me. I can feel your love like a tangible thing, like I can reach out and touch it. It makes me want to shout out to the world that I, William the Bloody, am the luckiest demon to ever walk God's green earth because I am loved by the purest soul I've ever known.

Christ! I sound like a soppy git. I just read over what I wrote, and while I can't say it isn't true, it isn't exactly flattering to the old image now is it? Then again, I don't exactly have an image anymore do I? I look like William, who looked just like any other poor sod off the street. Fuck, I want to kiss you. I look at you, all warm and alive, your mouth is slack in sleep and if I lean in I can feel your breath on my face. I want to press my lips to yours, have that sweet mouth open under mine and invite me in. I want to feel your tongue as it tangles with my own, twisting around inside my mouth. I want to tangle my hands into your hair and pull you impossibly closer as I deepen our kiss, hear you moan into my mouth, feel it vibrate through my entire being.

Spike quietly closed his book and slid it back into his coat before dropping the coat onto the floor. He leaned over Xander and gently pressed his mouth against that of his lover’s. It was just the barest of kisses, a mere brushing of lips. He waited to see if it was enough to wake his sleeping beauty. He snorted quietly at the look of outrage he could picture on his lover's face if he ever called him that to his face.

"Xander, wake up love. I need you."

Spike whispered softly in Xander's ear and smiled when the man under him struggled to comply with his wishes and one eye opened blearily. Spike swooped in and kissed him again, not much more of a kiss than the last one. Short, sweet and enough to get the other eye to open.

"Spike? You okay?"

"Am now, pet."

Spike leaned in and kissed Xander again; this time he took his time to really feel the soft, warm lips beneath his. He trailed the tip of his tongue along the slightly protruding lower lip and then delved inside when his lover's lips parted beneath his.

Xander moaned into the kiss. This was unexpected but not necessarily a bad way to wake up. Spike's kisses were always good, but this one was so full of feeling that Xander thought he might just burst from the intensity of it.

"Love you."

The vampire broke away to allow his human lover to breathe. He trailed soft, wet kisses up the column of his throat to his ear and then began tracing the shell with his tongue.

"Mmm, love you too, Spike. Oh God! Do that again?"

Spike chuckled and gently nibbled on Xander's earlobe as requested. There was nothing he wouldn't do for this man, no price he wouldn't pay. If Xander asked him to take a stake through the chest, he'd do it without blinking an eye. Of course he knew that his lover would never ask that of him, but the sentiment was true nonetheless.

"Want you love. Can I?"

"Yes, please. Anything, everything."

"Anything love? You trust me that much?"

"Yes. I love you, I trust you. Touch me? Please?"

Spike kissed Xander hard. He knew what he wanted, what he needed. He just wasn't sure he could do it. He reached for the lube on the bedside table and with trembling fingers he flipped open the lid and squeezed some out onto his fingers. He stroked those fingers over his opening and then slowly pushed one inside.

Xander opened his eyes and started in alarm. Surely Spike couldn't mean to do this. Not when he had been so hurt by this in the past. It didn't make sense. Did he feel like he had to? That Xander expected it?

"Spike, no. Not that; you don't have to."

Spike pressed another finger inside himself and smiled at his lover's concern.

"Yes, I do. I won't let what happened control the rest of my life; I need to do this, Xan. Will you let me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then yes. What do I need to do?"

"Just lay back and let me have control. I need to have control this time."

"Okay, whatever you need. I love you."

"Thank you, Xander. I love you too."

Spike finished preparing himself and slicked Xander's cock as well. He shuffled forward on his knees until he was in position and slowly lowered himself onto his lover's thick manhood. He watched as Xander's eyes dilated with pleasure and he trembled under the force he was exerting to keep still. Spike appreciated the effort.

"Keep your eyes open, love. I need to see you watching me. Need to see the love in your eyes."

Xander nodded and tried to convey his feelings for his lover in a look. Spike must have understood because he smiled so brightly it could have lit up the room.

"So beautiful. Can I touch you?"

A question asked with a small amount of trepidation.

"Please?"

Spike nodded his permission and Xander placed one hand gently on his hip. Spike took a deep breath and began to move. The hand on his hip tightened and Xander shook beneath him. Spike rose up and lowered himself again and again, angling himself for the perfect position. When he found it, he cried out Xander's name and began to move faster. He moved the warm hand from his hip and placed it around his swollen flesh and groaned at the heat.

Xander caught on to Spike's rhythm quickly and stroked the vampire's cock in time to his up-and-down movements. He was so close to cumming but he was determined to hold back, to see Spike's pleasure before taking his own. Spike closed his eyes briefly and when they opened again the blue had been replaced by yellow; ridges began to form on his brow and his teeth grew longer and sharper. Xander was fascinated by the look of pure unadulterated love that was shown on the demon's face. He knew that he would never see this face again without picturing it the way it looked right now. Full of love and looking straight at him.

"Spike, fuck! So fucking gorgeous."

"Xander, love you."

And then Spike was cumming. His head thrown back, eyes wide and unseeing. His muscles rippling and tightening around Xander's cock almost painfully, his cum shooting up over Xander's fist to land on his chest and his face. Xander licked a few stray droplets off his lips and then lost himself to his own release.

Shuddering and spent, they curled up together, Spike's head on Xander's chest, his heartbeat pounding in his ear. It was perfect. He had never felt as complete as he did now. Xander's love had washed away the foulness that had been implanted in his body. He finally felt clean again

~PART 44~

It was the ringing of the phone that woke him. Such a foreign sound to him after all this time. After all, who would possibly be calling him, no one knew he was here... except Angel.

That thought spurred him out of bed and he reached for the phone on the on the table in the corner. He scrubbed his face as he cradled the receiver between his ear and shoulder.

"Hello?"

"I have him. Be here at sundown."

"Angel?"

"In a fashion."

"Angelus?"

"Possibly. Don't really know who I am these days, does it really matter? You want revenge and I'm offering it to you."

"Right. We'll be there. Thank you."

"No, thank you, Xander. Without you I would never have known who hurt my childe, I wouldn't have known who to exact payment from."

"We'll call it even then. See you soon."

Xander hung up the phone and turned around to see clear blue eyes watching him intently. He hadn't had a chance to tell Spike about his little chat with Angel/us last night; now was looking like a good time though.

"Guess you want to know what that's all about, huh?"

"Would be nice, yeah."

The next several minutes were spent replaying his conversation from the night before, adding in what the vampire had just told him over the phone.

"Bloody hell, the ole sire's really coming through on this one, ain't he?"

"Oh yeah. Had a nice little face-to-face with Angelus last night, and I'm not sure who the hell I was just on the phone with. Either way, doesn't matter. That bastard is going to pay."

"I want to watch. I understand if you can't deal with it, but I need to see what Angelus does to him; I need to hear his screams."

Xander nodded his understanding. This was why he had asked for a chance at revenge in the first place. It was the closest thing he could get to the man who had hurt his lover. But there was no way he was staying away.

"I'm going. I need to be there too. If for no other reason, than because you might need me, but I want vengeance on that bastard and Angel has given me permission to take it. You tell me what you want, I'll do it."

Spike could hardly believe what he was hearing. Xander was going to make Riley pay - for him. The fact that it wasn't the same Riley Finn that had done those things to him didn't make a difference to him. They were all the same, just made by different choices in their lives.

"No, pet. I can't let you do this. Not for me."

"What? What do you mean you can't let me? I'm going to, I need to, Spike. I want to. I look at that other Spike and I see what you could have been. I hate him, I want to fucking destroy him. If there was a way to go back, I'd rip that bastard who touched you to pieces with my bare hands."

Spike revelled in the absolute anger and rage pouring off his lover, knowing it was all for him, that Xander was this angry because he loved him so much. So much that he was willing to repay in kind what had happened to him. He wanted to take the higher ground on this - tell Xander not to tarnish his soul for him, but he wanted so badly to see his lover bloody that useless piece of shit. He wanted to see Finn broken and bleeding, hurting because he decreed it. He knew what he wanted to ask from his lover, but it might be too much to ask from him.

"Xander, I know what I want. What I want you to do to him - for me."

"Anything. Well, I can't kill him, Angel said he wanted that privilege."

"S'okay, not what I wanted you to do anyway. I want his balls luv, I want to watch as you make him eat them."

Spike had vamped out as he said this, his remembered pain and humiliation showing clearly even on his demonic visage. Xander had to force down the bile that rose in his throat. He knew full well that his lover’s request was deeply personal - that he had likely been forced to commit just such an act himself. It only made him want to do it that much more.

"Gladly."

The next couple of hours were spent quietly comforting one another with soft kisses and whispered words of love and acceptance. Xander didn't ask about Spike's time in Sunnydale, and Spike didn't offer any explanations either. Eventually it was close to sundown and they headed out to the Hyperion. Both more than ready to do this. Angel met them in the lobby and directed them to go down to the garage. He told them he would join them shortly, that he needed to get Spike first. Xander nodded his understanding and led his very subdued lover into the elevator. He knew that Spike was trying to be brave for him, not wanting to let the fear of seeing Riley again show on his face.

When the elevator stopped, they got off. Before Spike could get any further into the parking garage Xander pulled him close and kissed him.

"Remember, this is about making you feel better. If you don't want this, we leave."

"I know, and I do want this. I'm just a bit... apprehensive? I mean I know Angelus - Angel - whatever, has him restrained. I just can't help the reaction."

Xander gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"I understand, but remember you're not alone in this. I'm here."

"I know luv, and it means everything to me that you are."

Hand in hand the two walked into the darkened underground car park. They followed the sounds of harsh breathing and pitiful whimpering noises until they found the bound and helpless form of Riley Finn. Not far away was a table, on it were a varied assortment of instruments - most of which Xander didn't recognise, but by the look on Spike's face - the vampire did.

Spike lit the fire on the small hibachi and placed an assortment of knives and other sharp things into the flames to heat. Xander watched as his lover moved around the table, touching the various items, his eyes darting between them and the man they would soon be used on.

Riley was still blindfolded and gagged. He knew he was no longer alone, but he had no idea who or what was with him. He wanted to see who was there, but at the same time knew that it was probably better that he didn't. He'd much rather face his death blindly than to look into the face of the monster who had taken him, and see the pleasure in his eyes.

Moments later, Angel arrived pushing a wheelchair-bound Spike in front of him. Both Xander and the brunette Spike took in the situation with a mixture of shock and horror. Angel was quick to alleviate their fears.

"He can walk, he's not physically damaged. He just doesn't."

That didn't really help to help to make either man feel better. The feeling only got worse as Spike began to moan and cringe back into his chair, his eyes clenched shut tightly. Angel crouched in front of him and spoke softly.

"Will, it's okay. We talked about this remember? That's Xander, not your childe but his human double. The other one is you, a different version of you. They're from a different reality. Do you remember?"

All three waited to see what would happen next. Angel smiled as Spike opened his eyes and looked at him.

"That's right, Will. You do remember now, don't you? I brought you here to watch as I avenge your humiliation at the hands of that human. He cannot hurt you, not now, and not ever again. You will witness his death at my hands. Do you understand that?"

A blink and then Spike closed his eyes for several seconds before opening them and darting a quick look at Xander and then at the dark-haired version of himself before finally glancing at the bound man on the floor and whimpering in fear.

Angel turned Spike’s attention back to him and gently stroked his fingers through his childe’s hair. After several minutes of this, Spike stopped whimpering and Angel stood.

"Xander, would you help me?"

"Uh, sure. With what?"

Angel smiled a truly scary smile and hoisted Riley to his feet before pointing to a set of rings in the concrete wall. Xander got the idea and quickly helped to fasten Riley to the wall.

"Alright, Xander. You have my permission; take your revenge."

~PART 45~

Xander swallowed hard and then looked at his lover. Spike was still trying to be brave, but Xander could see him slipping back into himself. Being this close to the man who had almost destroyed him - Xander couldn't imagine what this was doing to his lover.

Xander picked up a sharp knife from the table and under the watchful eyes of the three vampires, cut away Riley's clothing - leaving him naked, gagged and blindfolded. He looked to Angel for permission before removing the blindfold. He wanted Spike to see the fear in Riley's eyes as he took in what was about to happen to him.

Riley refused to open his eyes. It pissed Xander off, so he slapped him - hard - across the face. When that didn't work, Xander simply pried his eyelids open and then watched in satisfaction as Riley saw both Spikes and Angel - in game face - watching.

"Keep them open, Farmboy. Otherwise I'll cut them out."

Riley shook with fear but did as instructed. He watched as this human - and he was sure that this man was human - walked calmly toward one of the vampires and kissed him before lifting a knife from the flames and coming back toward him. He screamed behind his gag as a warm hand grasped his testicles and pulled them harshly away from his body before the other hand brought the red-hot blade to his skin.

The smell of burnt flesh was thick in the air; the bound and helpless man thrashed in agony against his restraints, his eyes rolling back in his head as he passed out from the pain.

Xander turned around and saw the approving look Angel gave him and smiled. He apparently met Angelus' approval. The fact that this pleased him should have scared the living hell out of him, but in this circumstance it seemed fitting.

"Got something I can put these in?"

Angel handed him a small dish and Xander put the soldier’s bloody testicles into it. He then turned to his lover and looked at him, waiting for his response. Spike stepped up to him and kissed him softly before licking the soldier’s blood from his hand.

"I can taste his pain, luv. It's in the blood. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Spike. I only wish you could do this for yourself."

"Me too luv, me too."

They were both startled when Angel cleared his throat loudly. With sheepish smiles they stepped back from each other and turned to look at him.

"Might I ask what you're planning on doing with those?"

Angel indicated the small dish on the table. Xander grinned.

"Thought I'd give our little captive breakfast when he wakes up."

The glint in Angel’s eyes could only be described as scary. It made Xander very glad that Angel's soul was still there, even if he wasn't using it at this moment.

"Then by all means, wake him up."

Xander nodded and stepped away from Spike. He took a deep breath, reminded himself that Riley had done this, and far worse to his lover and the broken version of Spike, then he hauled his arm back and slapped the man soundly across the face.

Bleary hazel eyes opened and then widened in remembrance. Angel stepped forward and silently handed Xander the small dish where Riley’s dismembered flesh sat in a pool of blood.

"Feeling hungry, Agent Finn? I bet Angelus hasn't fed you since you've been here, has he?"

Xander didn't wait for an answer, he simply showed Riley what he had in the dish before yanking the gag out of his mouth and forcing the man’s severed testicles into his own mouth.

"Chow down, soldier! You don't swallow, I'll find something else to cut off."

Xander held a blade to Riley's penis and watched with satisfaction as tears rolled down his cheeks. Nevertheless, he swallowed his own testicles. Great gagging sounds followed but somehow he managed to keep them down.

Spike was enjoying the hell out of this. Watching that piece of shit get tortured was doing a lot of good for his fragile sanity. It didn't hurt any that seeing his boy go all alpha was turning him on something fierce. Blood and torture - two sure-fire ways to make a demon hard.

Xander was almost disappointed that Riley didn't refuse; he wanted to cause the man so much more pain than he already had. He paused, looked at Spike, then looked at the instruments on the table and smiled. There was one more thing he wanted. For him, this time. He had done what Spike had asked; now it was time to do something for himself.

Xander winked at his lover before picking up a pair of pliers and walking slowly back toward his victim. He made sure Riley saw what he had in his hand before turning to Angel.

"Would you hold his mouth open for me?"

Angel smiled and came forward. He wrenched the human’s mouth open and watched with anticipation as Xander grasped one of Riley's teeth with the pliers - and pulled.

It came out with a few hard tugs, a lot of blood, and a high-pitched scream. Xander dropped the tooth into the dish he had previously kept the soldier’s balls in and moved on to the next tooth.

While all this was going on, Spike noticed that his blonde counterpart had begun to show signs of coherence again. He slowly approached him so as not to frighten him and spoke to him in a low voice.

"You see that? That's my Xander. Still human yeah, but look at him. Bloody magnificent isn't he? I bet yours was a thing of beauty too, eh? I met a vampire Xander once; he was Dru's childe, a real piece of work, Master of the hellmouth and everything. I think your Xander would have liked this - seeing his human self torture that piece of shit. Looks good on him. Wish I could do him myself, though. Bet you do too, huh?"

Another tooth extracted, and more screams filled the air. Riley choked on the blood that filled his mouth; he coughed and spat it from his mouth. Some landed on Xander's face and Xander shuddered as Angel leaned toward him and licked it off.

"His blood tastes good on you."

Angel smirked as Xander simply touched his face where the vampire had licked him and opened his mouth without sound.

"Anything else you want to do, Xander? Or can the real pain begin now?"

Xander shook his head.

"I'm good. Spike?"

"Yeah, pet?"

"We done? Can Angel play now?"

"Sure thing luv. C'mere."

Xander went to his lover who had stepped away from the other Spike - not wanting his human lover’s presence to bother him. He smiled as Spike licked away the few drops of Riley’s blood that Angel had missed.

"Sire's right, you do taste good."

Xander didn't know how to answer that, so he didn't. He stood behind Spike and wrapped his arms around him as they watched Angel walk in slow circles around the table of torture implements. He would pick something up, look at it, look at Riley while he considered it and then discard it for something else.

Spike whispered into his lover’s ear.

"This is part of the fun, yeah? He gets off on this. The suspense, the not knowing what's gonna happen. If you were a vamp, you'd be able to sense it - the way Finn's pulse climbs every time the poof chooses a new toy. The almost relief when he sets it back down. Then there's the shear terror that'll follow when Angelus finally picks something and heads toward him. If I were to bite him at that moment, his blood would be so full of fear and anguish... it'd be like the best kinda drug, the biggest high you can get. Watch, see what happens."

Xander did watch. He watched as Angel finally chose what looked like a policeman's nightstick, only it was covered in these sharp little points of metal. He watched in abstract fascination as the vampire grinned maliciously and then thrust it unrepentantly into the soldier’s unprepared ass.

Riley howled; Xander shuddered at the sound. He didn't feel any sympathy for the soldier. Why should he? He knew that this was nothing compared to what he had done to Spike. Speaking of which, Xander glanced over at the blonde version of his lover.

Spike was watching, his blue eyes fixed on the scene in front of him. Xander hoped that this would help to heal some of the damage, that the blonde could be brought back from wherever it was his mind had retreated to. He hated to see him like that, knowing that he was the only reason his Spike wasn't in this very same shape. It made him realise that whatever Angel did to Finn, it wouldn't be enough. Not enough to make up for destroying a creature as strong and beautiful as Spike.

Xander knew there was more to the vampire than just a demon, if that were the case, he would never have fallen in love with him. Hell, even before any of this had happened, Xander knew that Spike was different. Angel had a soul; it was the reason he acted like a man instead of a monster. Spike didn't have that, and yet he still put his life on the line for Dawn, for Buffy, for all of them at some point. It was that difference that made Xander start to look at him as something other than a thing to be destroyed or pitied.

When Xander came out of his thoughts, he saw that Angel had continued his assault on the helpless soldier. Riley now had alligator clips attached to his nipples. Wires were attached to the clips, and attached to the wires was a heavy-duty battery with a power switch. As soon as the vampire flipped the switch, Riley began to convulse as the electricity ran through him.

Once the body stopped twitching, Angel looked at it in disgust. He slapped Riley's slack face and waited. Nothing. He tried again but there was still no response. Not happy, but willing to wait, Angel walked back to his childe and crouched down in front of him.

Spike shifted his gaze from the man on the wall to the vampire in front of him. His eyes looked clearer than they had since he had first been brought to the hotel.

"Sire."

~PART 46~

We’re back at the hotel. Angel offered to let us stay, but we declined. I didn't want to make this world’s Spike uncomfortable, not after he's finally showing signs of improvement - maybe. At least I hope he is.

Spike is being pretty quiet; right now he's listening to the CD player and writing in his book. I pretend that I don't know he has one; he pretends too. He seems to think that it isn't manly or something - having a journal. Maybe it's just too William-y for him. I don't know, but if it helps him, I'm all for it.

I have some clue as to what he's been through; I can guess from his actions and reactions. And what he asked me to do to Riley? Well, let’s just say that I hope that was the worst thing he had ever had done, but I know it isn't. It's the worst thing that he felt he could ask me to do for him. I castrated the bastard and made him eat his own nuts. Me, Xander Harris, full-fledged scooby and all-around white hat. Guess my hat's not so white anymore now. Thing is, I'm not sure that I ever was a white hat. A grey hat maybe, but not white. I didn't join up with Buffy's little group of slayerettes to save the world. I did it because my best friend was killed by vampires and I wanted a little payback.

Angel did a fair bit of damage to Riley. He stuck something the size of my arm up the guy’s ass, electrocuted him, beat him, cut him, bit him, peeled the skin from his back and then had me piss on him. And that was just today’s torture session. I have no idea what's planned for tomorrow, he only told us to be there again at sunset.

I think, if it weren't for Spike - not mine, the other one - Angel would have kept on hurting Finn until he died from it. But as it was, Spike needed rest; he had spoken to Angel, called him sire. When Angel smiled at him, he smiled back. Then Angel kissed him. I was wigged out. I mean Angel and Spike? Okay yeah, Angelus and William I can see. But Angel and Spike hate each other - at least the ones back home do. Anyway, after the kiss, Angel went back to his torture and Spike and I watched. I helped out when I was asked - like the pissing thing, and the other Spike slowly slipped back into himself again. By the time Angel called it quits, there was nothing behind his glassy-eyed gaze. I hope it's a good place he escapes to, somewhere that makes him feel safe and happy.

Xander closed his book and then watched his lover as he sat hunched over the small table in their room scribbling away in his book. He wondered how much - if any - Riley's torture helped him. Did it make him feel better? Safer? In this world, yeah, maybe. But what about the next place? Was he going to have to do this every time they came across Riley Finn? Would it make a difference in the long run? Xander sighed; he had too many unanswerable questions running around inside his head. He was confused, tired and in need of a hot bath.

With a quick kiss to the top of his lover's head, Xander entered the bathroom and began filling the tub with hot water. When it was about halfway full he stripped off his clothes and climbed into the tub. Lying back with his eyes closed, he didn't see Spike enter the room and stand watching him from the doorway.

When the water level reached the top of his chest, Xander sat up and turned off the taps. He jumped in alarm when he saw Spike standing there watching him.

"Spike? What're you doing?"

"Admiring the view, pet. What else?"

Xander held out a hand to the vampire and smiled as Spike hurriedly undressed and joined him in the tub. Resting his head on Xander's chest, Spike closed his eyes and relaxed. This was nice.

"I wanted to thank you, luv."

"For what?"

"For today. For telling Angel, for taking me there, for making that bastard hurt. I know that it couldn't have been easy for you, he is human after all, and I just wanted to thank you for doing it."

Xander sighed and dropped a kiss to Spike's head.

"See, that's the thing. It was easy. I didn't ever consider not doing it. He hurt you, and yeah okay maybe it wasn't that Riley that did those things to you, but he did them to that Spike and that's enough of a reason. I only wish I could have done this to the one back in your reality. I love you, I would do anything to make your pain better."

"You did, luv. You did."

The pair fell silent, enjoying the feel of the hot water on their skin, the pleasure of being together and the love they felt for one another. It had been a long, emotionally draining day.

Eventually they drained the water from the tub, dried off and curled up together under the blankets. Sleep would not be long for either man, both were worn out on a mental and a physical level. Tomorrow was going to be another long day, filled with torture, revenge, and hopefully - for a couple of mentally fragile vampires - some much needed healing.

~PART 47~

Tonight was good. Woke up with my Xan cuddled in my arms, all warm and toasty, had a little while to just lay there and enjoy the feeling without worrying about being a ponce. Then we went over the hotel to start in on day two of torturing the soldier git. A fun time was had by all. God, my pet bloody amazes me! For a white hat, he has some wickedly cruel ideas in his head. Hells, even Angelus was impressed by him. And that's saying quite a bit; my sire doesn't impress easily.

Xander never even balked once throughout the whole thing. Not when Angelus poured acid on Finn or when he pulled off his fingernails, not even when he rammed the hot poker up his ass. Hells, even I was a bit nauseated by the smell of that; burnt flesh and excrement, not a nice aroma. The boy seems to have a particular fondness for pulling Finn's teeth. I think he's got all of them now. Kept them too. Don't know why, souvenirs I guess. Like that about him, sentimental fool.

I guess I’ve been avoiding the real issue here though. Threw me for a fucking loop, what happened tonight. Angel- Angelus more likely - slit the bastard’s wrists and let that other Spike and I drain him. Dead as a fucking post. Not for long though, he turned him. By tomorrow night, Finn'll wake up with a demon in him. But that's not the best part, oh no. Angel is gonna give the bastard his soul back.

So yeah, I'm thinking he's coming dangerously close to losing himself here. I mean, I understand the reasoning behind it, but he could be in serious jeopardy of losing his redemption, his promise of mortality. I wonder if I should stop him, make him stake the bastard and get on with his unlife. Bloody Finn shouldn't get to have that kind of power over him, be allowed to screw with his redemption; he isn't worth it.

I never knew how much of my sire is still in there, hiding behind the soul and the guilt. He's still there though, just buried beneath the surface. I wonder what happened to my Angel, if he's okay. I hope so, God I hope so. Just the thought of him at the mercy of the Initiative... No. Buffy stills loves Angel, she'd never let that happen. At least I hope not.

I haven't felt this much like my old self in years. Not since I became the property of the US military. Amazing what a little revenge can do for you, even when it's just revenge by proxy. Christ it felt good though, telling Angelus and my pet what to do to him and having it done. Like having minions again, not that I'd ever tell Angel that - likely to earn myself a good beating if I ever did. Never call my boy that either; if I could turn him, he'd be a childe - my first - not a minion, never that. Not that there's even a point to thinking about turning Xan, with this fucking chip in my head.
‘Course that brings me to wonder just what the hell's gonna happen to us. He's human, supposed to be my food or a vessel to house a demon should he be worthy of turning. I'm a vampire - a demon for fuck’s sake. I'm not supposed to fall in love with a human. Did though, didn't I? So now what? I mean, if I turn him - if I ever get this chip out - he won't be the man I fell in love with, the man who risked his life to save mine, the man who stood bloody and smiling at me after cutting soldier boy's nads off. The man who looked at me with such love and longing as I slowly slid his length inside myself. That's the man I fell in love with, the one I want for eternity. A demon with Xander's face just wouldn't be the same. It's so bloody frustrating! Demons just weren't meant to love humans. Unless you have a soul that is; then you fall for little blonde girls with super strength. Look how well that turned out for the old poof. She's still shagging psychos and he's brooding in L.A. See? Demons and humans just don't work. It's against the laws of nature, against the rules of society or something. Then again, when did I ever follow the rules?

Spike closed his book as Xander began to stir in his sleep. With a gentle smile that really didn't belong on the face of a soulless demon, Spike crawled back into bed and pulled his lover into his arms. Xander sighed happily in his sleep and snuggled closer into the embrace. Spike pressed a soft kiss to his face and began a light, rumbling purr deep in his chest. He drifted off to the sound of his own contentment.

Back at the hotel, Angel watched as his childe sat up in his bed, blue eyes glassy with unshed tears. He could smell the desperation and pain on his childe and wanted nothing more than to make him better. Slowly - so as not to startle him - Angel made his way into the room and joined his childe in the large bed.

A single tear rolled down the blonde's face and the older vampire caught it with his finger and brought it to his mouth. He licked the tear away and gently pulled the smaller man into his arms.

"If I could take your pain, childe I would do it without hesitation."

The sobs broke free and Spike curled into his sire's embrace. He cried out his anguish and pain, he cried for all the times he couldn't bring himself to do so in the past. He cried because he had lost his childe, and finally he cried because he knew that he was finally safe. That it was over now, that his Xander had brought him here - to the safety of his sire - at the cost of his own unlife.

At first he had thought he had truly gone mad, seeing an older human version of his beloved childe, seeing him standing there with William, the human he had once been. But it didn't make sense, why would his soul and that of his childe's be there in the first place? Then seeing Riley, remembering that Angelus had told him he was there, that he was going to be a part of his torture and death.

He could remember now, every scream, every moan of pain. He knew the scent of Riley's fear, the sound of his begging, the taste of his blood. He knew the taste of his death. That had been what finally allowed him to come back to the real world. Knowing that he would never be hurt by that bastard again, that his sire cared that much for him, even with his soul. He still craved death - oblivion - but perhaps now he could find a way to ask for it, to be at peace, maybe find his beloved childe in the next life.

"Sire… Angel."

"Will? I'm here. Will. I'm here, everything will be okay now."

Spike shuddered and then opened his eyes. Crystal blue eyes shining with pain and loss looked into deep brown eyes that were filled with hope. Spike took an unneeded breath and forced himself to speak.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, childe. I would do anything to make it better."

"Would you? Really?"

Spike sounded so hopeful, Angel could have wept for the pain he had caused him in the past, the betrayal that put that tone of wonderment in his voice, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Anything, Will."

"Kill me. Please sire, I don't want to go on. I can't live like this; I'm tired, sire. Let me join my Xander."

"Oh God, Will. Please don't ask me to do this."

Angel's arms tightened around his childe and he felt his demon screaming inside.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to let you go childe. I don't think I can do it."

"My life is yours sire. Yours to give and yours to take. Take it, please?"

"Let me think on it. Sleep Will, I'll give you my decision tonight."

Angel kissed his childe deeply and then laid them both down on the bed. He spooned behind the smaller man and held him tightly, knowing that this could very well be the last time he felt his childe's body pressed against him, the last time he smelled his childe's scent. Sleep would not come for Angel this day.

~PART 48~

Middle of the afternoon and Xander found himself in the very pleasant position of waking up to a wet suction on his cock. He cracked open one bleary eye and took in the sight of his lover's brunette head as it raised and lowered on his throbbing shaft.

"God, what a way to wake up."

He felt more than heard the vampire chuckle, the sensation dragging a moan from his throat. He could still hardly believe how much his life had changed in such a short time. A few months ago, if someone told him he would be in love with Spike - from any dimension - he would have first laughed his ass off and then had them tested for signs of possession. The fact that he had this beautiful man - vampire - practically worshipping his body right now, was beyond what his rational mind could take.

Spike released Xander's cock with a wet slurping sound and sat back on his heels to appreciate the view. Xander was magnificent in all his naked glory. Tanned skin over taut muscle, a light sprinkling of dark silky hair covered his body - thick in all the right places, beautiful brown eyes full of love and desire, a thick, long cock that just begged to be touched, licked, sucked upon, straddled.

Spike considered that idea for a minute; he had thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of having his lover inside him. He wasn't quite sure if he was ready to give over control to him just yet but he thought he might like to take another go at riding him. Xander seemed to know what he was thinking as he handing over the lube with a look of absolute lust and longing on his face.

With no hesitation, Spike slicked his fingers and began to hurriedly stretch himself. When he was sure that he could take Xander with a minimum of discomfort, he applied the cold gel to Xander's hot flesh and slid astride him. Looking into eyes darkened with desire, Spike slowly sank down until he was completely filled.

Xander groaned and reached out blindly for Spike. He felt the vampire take his hands and place them on his hips as he began a slow undulation that had him gripping his lover almost painfully in a bid to hold onto his control.

"You feel so good, luv. So hot and hard inside me, I could ride you for hours."

"N-not gonna l-last that long."

Spike chuckled and began to raise himself up before slowly sinking back down. He repeated the movement several times before speaking again.

"We need to go see Angel today."

"Wha... huh? You want to talk about Angel? Now?"

Xander could barely think, let alone carry on a conversation, and Spike wanted to talk about Angel?

"What? Can't shag and talk at the same time? This a human limitation? Or just that I'm too damn good a shag for you to concentrate on anything else?"

Spike had that look, the 'smug smarmy bastard' look. Xander decided to try and focus on conversing with him. Better than letting him know that yes, indeed, he was too damn good a shag to concentrate on anything else.

"Er, Angel? Talk, why?"

A deep rumbling laugh and Spike smiled before clamping his internal muscles around Xander's shaft in an almost painful grip. Xander groaned and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"I've been thinking about his redemption, his need for vengeance is going to screw it all up. We have to make him see that, make him end this thing with Finn."

Xander thought about what Spike said, knew he was right and nodded his head.

"We'll do that, make him understand. But first can we just..."

Xander trailed off as Spike smirked at him and slammed himself down on his cock. There were no more words spoken, the only sounds were of harsh breathing, moans, groans and the sounds of flesh on flesh.

While Xander and Spike were making love, Angel was sitting in his office thinking about the decision he had to make. His childe had asked for help; no matter what the request, he was honour-bound to fulfil it. The problem was, he didn't want to. If he was perfectly honest with himself, he would admit that he was afraid. Afraid of being alone, of losing the one person who truly knew and understood what he was. He had given up everything to help Spike - his friends, his purpose, his redemption. He had thought that he would be able to bring Spike back, restore him to the vampire he once was. That they could rebuild the relationship they had once shared, on equal footing this time around; partners.

Now, all his hopes and fantasies were shattered. If he did as he was asked, he would lose his childe. If he didn't, if he refused, Spike would resent him, and he would lose his childe. Or he would find a way to do it himself, and still, he would lose his childe.

Angel refilled the tumbler in his hand with the remains of the bottle of whiskey that he had opened early in the morning hours. He brought the glass to his lips and drank as he realised he had no choice. He would do what Spike had asked; he would give him his peace. At least this way, he would get to hold Spike again, feel him in his arms and his veins one last time.

Angel drained the glass and then picked up the bundle of spell components he had on his desk and made his way down to the parking garage. He stopped and looked at Riley, noticing that although the demon was in full possession of the body, he had yet to move or even open his eyes. In fact, as Angel got closer and closer, the new vampire tried to appear stiller and more lifeless.

Angel ignored him completely and set up the spell. He didn't even look over to see if the demon realised what was happening until he had belted out the last line of the curse. Then he looked; he looked and watched with satisfaction as his eyes flew open and the flames appeared in his irises.

Knowing that the curse had worked, that Finn's soul had been restored, Angel smiled and went back upstairs to his childe. Stripping out of his clothes he climbed into the bed and pulled Spike into his arms. He kissed the top of his blonde head and began to purr deep in his chest. He wanted his childe's last hours to be peaceful.

Spike and Xander arrived at the Hyperion just after dusk. They had meant to come earlier but between the sex, the shower and then the sex again, they hadn't made it. Plus they had had to stop for something to eat, and to get Spike some blood as well. Now that they were there, they wished they would have made it earlier, maybe they could have made sense out of what they were seeing.

What they were seeing was an obviously intoxicated Angel - in full vamp mode - destroying the lobby of his hotel and making this high-pitched keening sound. Xander looked at Spike for an answer but only received a wary look and a shrug of the shoulders. It didn't make him feel any better. In fact, he was thinking that turning around and leaving would be a very good idea. Unfortunately, Angel realised they were there before Xander got the chance to put his plan in motion.

Spike barely had the opportunity to brace himself before he found himself holding two hundred and fifty pounds of sobbing master vampire. He instinctively began petting him and purring. It was what he'd done when Dru was having a bad spell, it had always worked with her and it looked to be helping with Angel as well.

Xander stood in shocked silence as his lover lowered himself and the older vampire to the floor, all the while continuing to caress and soothe him. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew it wasn't good. He also knew better than to approach them at this time.

"Angelus, er Angel? What's wrong luv?"

Spike had never - never - seen his sire like this. Frankly it scared him.

"Gone. My beautiful Will, gone."

Spike tightened his arms around the older vampire and just held him. His double was gone. That explained everything, to lose a childe was hard, probably more so for Angel, his soul would cause him to feel pain as well as his demon.

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

Angel shook his head and continued to sob into Spike's chest. Spike motioned for Xander to bring the bottle of whiskey that was sitting on the floor a few feet away. Xander did so and was just backing away when Angel reached out - faster than either Spike or Xander had expected - and grabbed him. Spike tensed and began to growl possessively but then stopped as Angel merely pulled Xander into his arms and held him as he was being held by Spike.

The three men passed the bottle between them, sharing in the grief and pain of the older vampire. Eventually Angel told them about Spike's request for an end to it all. Then he told him what he had done to give him that final peace.

"I drained him, it was gentle. He was gone before the stake entered his chest."

Angel cried and clung harder to the warm body in his lap. He needed the contact, the feeling of warmth that Xander gave him. He was grateful to this human, for giving him back his childe, even if it was only for a few days. Spike waited until Angel had quieted again before he spoke.

"Sounds to me like you did what he wanted. You didn't live through it, I did. If he said he couldn't go on, trust me, he couldn't."

Xander shivered and gladly accepted the bottle when Angel pressed it into his hands. The thought of no Spike made him think about how close his Spike had come to wanting death. It was a thought that scared the bejesus out of him.

"I can still feel him, in here."

Angel pointed to his chest where his unbeating heart was breaking in loss. Spike looked at his lover, looked at Angel and then sighed. This would be so much easier if Xander was a vampire, and Angel didn't have a soul. Taking a risk that he wasn't out of line, Spike lifted Angel's head and looked into his eyes before leaning forward and pressing his lips to his sire's.

Xander watched as Spike kissed Angel; he should have been jealous, he should have been furious, he wasn't. He understood that this was about comfort, about blood ties that were strong enough to survive a century of pain and hatred, that were strong enough to be felt across dimensions. He made an effort to withdraw, to give the two some privacy when two sets of yellow eyes fixed on him and he was held in place by both Angel and his lover.

"Xan? You okay with this?"

Xander nodded and sighed in relief as Spike leaned and kissed him. He felt himself being drawn away from Spike by Angel and expected to see the older vampire claim his lover's lips once again. He was stunned when Angel kissed him instead.

~PART 49~

Oh my God! I had sex with Angel! Angel!!!! What was I thinking? I'll tell you, I wasn't thinking. That's always been my problem, I don't think. That's why I'm the guy who gets strangled as foreplay, the guy who gets thralled by vampires, chosen to fertilise a giant bug lady's eggs. I thought I said NO MORE BUTT MONKEY! I know I did, so what? The fates ignore me again? One more crappy thing to dump on Xander. Oh my God! I had sex with Angel!

I'm sorry Anya! I'm so, so, sorry. I never meant to hurt you, please make this stop. I want to go home, please. I just want to go home.

Xander closed his book, lay down on the bed and let the tears fall. He hadn't cried like this in a very long time and he found that once he started, he couldn't stop. He was glad Spike wasn't here to see it. He couldn't face him right now, not after figuring out that this was all his fault.

Spike stood in front of the newly souled vampire and smirked. He had finally convinced Angel that he needed to let this go, to get back on track with his life and his mission. Xander had been a big help there, convincing him that his co-workers would come back, that if he explained to them what had happened - leaving out the torture of course - they would understand.

So now Spike had the pleasure of giving Riley his final death. He just couldn't decide how he wanted to do it - other than painfully of course. The table was still set up, the various torture implements in place. Of course, he could just leave him to starve; even if he let him go, he was defenceless.

Being turned with no teeth or finger nails, meant no fangs or claws. In fact the only thing Finn had going for him now was added strength, and being a minion, it wasn't much. He considered stuffing him in a trunk and having him delivered to the slayer, but it would only come back on Angel and he was in enough pain as it was.

"Hmm, not sure what I want to do with you yet. Tell me, how does it feel to be neutered? In every sense? Didn't you ask me that once or twice?"

Spike chuckled nastily at the glaring yellow eyes as Finn's demon made its presence known.

"See, thing is, mine grew back. Both bollocks and fangs; you? Well, you wouldn't survive long enough for it to happen even if they could. Turned without means you stay without. Think your little slayer would want you now? Knowing that you're a demon, an impotent one at that?"

Spike morphed into game face and growled in the fledgling's face.

"Stupid, stupid boy. You have no idea what you messed with, do you. Thought you could get away with it, that no one would care what happened to a demon. You thought wrong."

Carefully lifting one of the newer additions to the table of torture - a squirt gun filled with holy water - Spike walked closer to Riley and aimed the plastic gun at the soldier's face before pulling the trigger.

Riley screamed as the water burned into his skin like acid. He felt the droplets land on his chest and run down. It was agonising. Panic gripped him as he opened his eyes and saw the gun was now aimed at his groin. He shook his head frantically, hoping - praying that he wouldn't pull the trigger, knowing that it was futile, that his life was forfeit.

Spike snickered and lowered the muzzle of the gun. He watched as relief followed by suspicion flooded Riley's features. Then he took aim again and fired. And fired, and fired, and fired. By the time the gun was empty, there was nothing left of Riley's groin, his legs were covered in burns - clear to the bone in places.

"Be lucky I didn't have a hose handy, otherwise... well you remember don't ya? How I screamed, how I pleaded and begged? You remember how you made me suck you in order to stop it? Do you?"

Riley made no move to answer. Spike grabbed him by the throat and smashed his head against the wall.

"Answer the question - when I ask you something, you will answer!"

"Yeeeessss! I remember."

That earned Riley a backhand to the face so hard that it shattered his jaw. Spike was still disgusted by the memories of how this pathetic little pissant had broken him. Sure he had been helpless to defend himself, thanks to a nifty little piece of metal in his head... which gave Spike an idea.

As the former-blonde demon searched for something suitable to carry out his plan, Riley tried to recall everything he had ever done to the blonde version of this vampire. He cringed at some of the memories, knowing full well that he would likely experience them firsthand now, wondering if there was any way to escape the torture before he died.

Spike turned around - a maniacal grin on his face - and showed the helpless fledge what he held in his hand. It was a small surgical saw, an electric one at that. In his other hand was a jagged piece of sheet metal, not much larger than a quarter. Seems Angel - or possibly Xander had planned for this as well.

For the next few minutes the only sounds were of the saw's low buzzing and Riley's screaming as Spike sawed through his skull and then painfully shoved the metal deep into his exposed brain.

Spike stood back, satisfied that he had made that as painful as possible for the ex-soldier. He remembered well, the pain he felt when they had cut his head open to install the chip. He made sure this was worse. He didn't have the time to repay every painful, humiliating torture that he had endured, so he made sure the ones he did perform were as nasty as he could make them.

"Only a shame that I can't give you the pleasure of the chip going off. Nice piece of work, that; can't even step on a human's toes accidentally without a fucking migraine. But don't you worry, I've come up with something close to what it feels like."

That said, Spike drove a rusty spike through Riley's left eye. He pulled it back out with a wet sucking sound and then repeated the process, shoving the now bloodied and dripping spike into the right eye socket as well.

He left the spike deeply embedded in Riley's eye and withdrew a stake from his pocket.

"Well, it's been fun and all that, wish I had time to do this proper but my Xander is waiting for me, and given the choice between spending time with you or him, he wins."

Riley disappeared in a shower of ash and Spike walked away. He nodded once to his sire on the way out of the hotel and climbed onto the bike. He was looking forward to getting back to the hotel and Xander; hopefully he could persuade him to join him in the shower.

~PART 50~

There was something wrong with Xander. Spike knew the instant he entered their room that he had been crying; he could smell the salt in the air. Figuring that this whole dimensional travel gig was just getting to the boy, he decided to leave off and let Xander have the illusion of privacy. If his lover didn't want him to know he'd been crying, he'd pretend he didn't know. After all, Xander played the game for him from time to time.

Hoping to cheer him up somewhat, Spike stripped off his jacket and outer shirt. He toed off his sneakers - still not believing he actually owned a pair - and peeled off his socks. In nothing but his soft blue denims, he crawled onto the bed and lay down beside the television-watching human.

"Whatcha watchin' pet?"

Xander started at the sound of Spike's voice. He hadn't realised that Spike was back already. Struggling to get himself under control and not burst out in tears and beg the vampire to forgive him, Xander gave Spike a small sad smile.

"Everything go okay? You dust that asshole?"

Spike grinned and then sat up on the bed. He was practically bouncing as he told Xander the details of what he had spent the afternoon doing. He couldn't help but feel a little grateful to Angel for turning and then souling him, it let him get his hands dirty, so to speak, and give back some of the pain that he had been forced to endure. Xander smiled as he saw that Spike was actually happy, that he was more like the "big bad Spike" from back home.

"I'm glad you had fun. Did it... Does it make it better?"

"Bloody hell yes! I feel like a new man! Er, vampire. Christ love, I haven't felt this bloody good since before I tried to bite that little redhead and realised I was... damaged."

"Again with the me being happy for you, but you need to shower; I don't know how you didn't get stopped on the way here, you have blood on your face and your hands."

Spike looked down at his hands and realised Xander was right. He shrugged and then put on his best leer.

"Care to come wash my back Xan? Or something a bit lower, whatever you fancy."

Xander couldn't help but smile at the obvious innuendo. He wanted to, he just felt horribly guilty and wasn't sure if he deserved to touch Spike that way again.

"I... Um, well..."

"Come on love, not taking no for an answer. I'm a very... dirty boy."

Again with the leer and Xander finally broke, a smile lit his face and Spike kissed him before dragging him into the bathroom and undressing them both.

Spike was in heaven, hot water on his back, Xander on his knees before him, wet, warm suction on his cock. There was nowhere he'd rather be. He closed his eyes and gently tangled the fingers of one hand into his lover's damp hair.

"Christ, luv. You feel so fucking good."

Xander grinned slightly around his mouthful of vampire. He continued to suck on Spike's cock as he reached one hand down between his own legs and began to stroke himself off as well. The noises coming from the vampire were making him so very hot, and he desperately needed to cum.

Spike opened his eyes and looked down at Xander. His eyes were closed but he had such a look of contentment on his face as he bobbed his head up and down, like he was exactly where he wanted to be, doing exactly what he wanted to do. Spike looked lower and saw what Xander's hand was up to and groaned at the sight.

There was nothing hotter than watching his boy jerk himself off while giving him a blow-job. The very idea that Xander was enjoying this so much that he had to touch himself made Spike lose what little control he still had. His demon roared to the surface and he tore through his lower lip as he thrust into his boy's sweet mouth and came with an ear-splitting howl. He felt Xander swallow around him and then tense as his own orgasm ripped through him.

Xander vaguely remembered being pulled to his feet, kissed soundly and spun into the wall before Spike plastered himself against his back and began kissing and nibbling his throat. He moaned at the sensation and felt himself begin to harden once more. He spread his legs and thrust his ass back in invitation.

Spike frantically searched for something - anything - that could double as lube. Settling on the shower gel, he flipped open the cap and squeezed some onto the small of Xander's back. After setting the bottle down on the side of the tub, he ran his fingers through the small pool of soap and began to gently push first one and then two into his lover's body.

Xander pushed back against the invading digits, eager to feel more, needing to be filled by Spike, to feel him as deep inside as he could get. He panted as a third finger slid in beside the previous two and began to pump in forcefully.

"Spike. Now, please now. Need you in me."

"Shh, luv. Just another minute, don't want to hurt you."

Xander sobbed in frustration as Spike denied him his request, he was ready - more than ready - and he needed this so badly. He didn't even realise he had been chanting 'please, now, please' over and over until Spike finally withdrew his fingers and whispered in his ear.

"Okay. Relax luv, you got me."

And then Spike was pushing inside and Xander was pushing back against him. They were finally joined and Xander could have wept, he never wanted to lose this - the feel of his lover's cool skin against him, hard cock inside him - possessing him, soft lips brushing over the nape of his neck.

"God, Spike. Love you."

"Love you too, Xander."

And then they were moving, long slow strokes that made Xander shudder. Spike's hands were holding him steady, one on his hip and the other one tracing circles on his chest, absently pinching a nipple every once in a while, before trailing down to stroke his hard cock.

Xander came first, his muscles tightening and dragging Spike's climax out of him. They rested against the cool tiles for minutes before finally rinsing off and exiting the shower.

Dry, sated and exhausted they tumbled into bed and curled around each other to sleep. Xander still felt the guilt of his earlier revelation, he felt awful about what Spike had gone through, knowing that in some way it was his fault. He only hoped as he drifted off that he wouldn't have nightmares.

Spike watched as Xander closed his eyes and drifted off. He was more than a bit worried about his boy. He had seemed so... desperate earlier. As flattering as it was to have someone so eager, so needy to be filled by him, it wasn't normal behaviour for Xander. He wasn't sure what had set him off. Perhaps it was the whole 'sex with the sire' thing. Humans could be so weird about physical relationships.

Just as Spike was relaxing into sleep - having decided to talk to Xander about the sex-with-Angel issue tomorrow, he felt his lover's body tense. Xander hadn't had a nightmare in awhile now, not since before the reality where Xander was a vampire and Dru's childe. He had hoped his lover was past the terrors he had witnessed and endured in that demon dimension.

"No! Spike, God no, I'm so sorry."

Xander was sitting up in bed, his eyes wide and unseeing, still caught in the horrible images of his nightmare. He could see Spike, flayed and screaming as soldiers surrounded him. He watched as one of them buried a stake into his shoulder and then turned toward him. It was his face; he was one of them.

"My fault. All my fault."

Tears were streaming down his face and Spike was holding him, petting him gently trying to wake him without scaring him further. He hadn't seen Xander like this before. This was worse than the dreams he'd suffered from when they had first met up.

Eventually Xander came back to himself and sobbed in relief. He let Spike hold him until his tears finally tapered off and his chest stopped heaving. He soaked in the comfort being given, knowing that he didn't deserve it.

"Shh, pet. Spike's here, everything'll be all right. Nothing's gonna hurt you."

"Sorry, so sorry. My fault. All my fault."

Spike started to purr and wrapped himself around his lover. Xander relaxed into the embrace and held on to Spike as tightly as he could. Sleep eventually claimed him again, and he was met with the images of his lover's brutal torture - by his hands - once again.

~PART 51~

Well luv, we've been here a couple of days now and I still don't know what's going on. You won't talk to me and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I wish you would tell me what's eating you up inside; I can't help you if you don't talk to me.

Bloody hell! This is so damn frustrating. I don't do patience well, you know this. I'm trying, you know. Trying to give you time, to let you deal with this but it's not in my nature. You. Are. Mine. And I protect what's mine. I can't protect you from your own thoughts, your own conscience. Damn it Xander, I wish you would talk to me.

Spike closed his book and crawled back into bed as Xander began to moan and whimper in his sleep. He had no idea how much longer they could go on like this, the boy's dreams were practically killing him. He was always tired, had little to no appetite and other than cuddling after a bad dream, they barely touched each other. In short, it was making Spike crazy.

"Xander, wake up, luv."

The body in his arms stirred and one blood-shot brown eye looked up at him. He gently stroked his fingers through soft dark hair and then leaned down to press a kiss on Xander's furrowed brow.

"We need to talk luv. These nightmares of yours aren't going away, and I want to know what started them."

"I-I can't."

Xander rolled away from Spike and tried to get out of the bed. Spike - frustrated by his lover's stubborn behaviour - pounced on him and pinned him to the mattress. He leaned down until they were nose to nose and growled softly.

"I said, I want to know what started them. Talk to me pet, I'm not letting you up until you do."

Xander took a deep breath and then closed his eyes; the nightmare images flashed through his mind and he shuddered. A lone tear slid down the side of his face and into his ear. He opened his eyes and looked at the worried face of his lover and sighed.

"It's my fault, all of this."

"Well, technically it's that ex-bird of yours' fault. She's the one who cursed you."

"No, not that. What happened to you. It's my fault."

Spike sat up and then helped Xander up as well. After making himself comfortable against the headboard he pulled Xander to sit between his legs and rested his head on his chest.

"Okay, explain."

Xander told him his theory, how every place he had been to was an example of what might have happened if he had made different choices in his life, or had been given the chance to make a different choice - like being bi instead of straight.

Spike listened and waited until Xander was finished talking before he gently turned him around in his arms and held him close again. He kissed the top of his head and then tilted Xander's face up so he could look him in the eye.

"Right then. So you figure that my being captured by the Initiative is your fault. That what Finn and his boys did to me is your fault. That you are single-handedly responsible for me? Bullshit. You weren't in Sunnyhell, so what. I was the one who came back there on a mission of revenge. I was the one who was stupid enough to get captured in the first place, not to mention dumb enough to stick around after I escaped the first time. I could have gone to Angel, Xander. He's my sire, he would have taken me in."

Spike looked into Xander's eyes and tried to make him see the truth. He saw the tears well up in those dark chocolate-brown eyes and wiped them away as they fell.

"Not your fault love, I don't blame you. I never will. Let it go, hey? Let it go and just be with me again. I miss the sound of your laughter, Xander. I miss the feel of you touching me. Not your fault love, let it go."

Xander grabbed on to the vampire and buried his head into the cool surface of his shoulder. He couldn't make the tears stop, but this time at least they were tears of happiness. He couldn't believe how easy it had been to tell Spike what was bothering him, how easily his lover had made him feel better.

"I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry."

"Yes, you should have. No more secrets, luv. We have to be honest, at least with each other."

"Okay."

Spike got up off the bed and pulled Xander to his feet.

"Get dressed. We're going to get you fed and then we're off to the hellmouth."

"Wha... huh?"

Spike chuckled and tossed Xander his shirt before starting to pack their things.

"Sunnydale, luv. You said that Peaches was the same as you remember from your world, so I figured we should check out what the cartoon gang is like."

"Oh, okay."

Xander was still a bit confused but he got dressed and followed behind Spike as they picked up their bags and left the hotel. A quick stop at the local diner and they were on the highway, headed back to Sunnydale.

It was dark by the time they arrived in town; Spike looked at the welcome sign and pouted. He really missed his car sometimes. But then, it would be bloody difficult to get the DeSoto out of a hotel room after a shift. The bike was portable that way.

"Well, pet. Where should we start?"

"Probably best to start with you, er, Spike. Aw, hell. Just go to the cemetery, we'll check his crypt first."

Spike chuckled and started the bike moving in the direction of Spike's cemetery. It would be easier to see him first. Demons were much more likely to accept the multiple realities theory than humans were, plus he knew that Xander was trying to shield him from having to see the humans until it became necessary.

Driving through town, Xander paid as much attention to detail as he could. So far everything looked familiar, just like back home. He wasn't about to get his hopes up though. He knew better than that.

They parked the bike just outside the cemetery and started walking toward Spike's crypt. When they were about twenty feet away, Spike pulled Xander to him and kissed him. It was a kiss of need and passion. Xander wasn't sure what had brought it on, but he wasn't fighting it.

Spike suddenly found himself pressed back against a tree while Xander tried to remove his tonsils with his tongue. He had no complaints, seeing as he was the one who started it and he liked when his boy was aggressive.

"Well, well. What have we got here then? Your bint dumps you to be a demon again and you turn into a poof? Should have seen it, what with you having no male friends an' all. Should I buy you a dress, Harris? Start calling you Nancy?"

Xander dropped his head to Spike's shoulder and chuckled weakly. He could feel his lover's silent laughter as well. There was no mistaking that voice, silk, honey, and just a bit of rough.

"Spike."

"Harris. Why the bloody hell are you making out in a graveyard? Oh, and you are aware that your boyfriend is a vampire, aren't you? Bloody thick-headed git."

Xander couldn't stop the snort of laughter that escaped him. He tried to hold it in, but once it was loose, it was followed by another, and before he knew it he was howling with laughter, tears running down his face. Spike was still keeping his features hidden from his doppleganger, but he too was finding this extremely entertaining.

"Er, Xander? Are you possessed again? Need me to fetch the slayer?"

Xander was finally able to calm down enough to speak and he shook his head.

"No. No, I'm not possessed again, and no I don't need you to fetch the slayer. I'm fine Spike, and yes I know my boyfriend is a vampire."

Xander turned back to his Spike with a questioning look on his face.

"Boyfriend? I'm not sure that works, what do you think?"

Spike smirked at his wicked boy. This was going to be fun.

"Well, I dunno. Seems I'm a bit old to be a boy, and I'd say we're a lot more than friends. So, no. I don't think boyfriend covers it at all, love."

~PART 52~

Xander watched as the blonde Spike's eyes widened in shock and recognition. He had never seen Spike speechless before; this was fun! His Spike stepped out of the shadows and put his arm around his waist and smirked at his double.

"What the bloody hell is this, then?"

Blonde Spike stepped closer to his dark-haired twin and looked him over sceptically. He frowned at the dark hair, and then snorted at the way he was dressed.

"You look like a right git. Where the hell did you come from, and what are you doing with Xander?"

"Long story, and sod off. I happen to be in disguise."

"As what, Peaches? A nancy boy?"

"Oh, right. And the bleached-out, leather look just screams hetero, does it?"

Xander couldn't help the smile. Hearing his lover dis his own tastes in clothing and hairstyle was too funny. He knew Spike missed his coat, and that he hated the dark hair but to hear him accuse this Spike of looking like a queer because of those very things was just too funny.

"Look, as amusing as this is we have more important things to discuss. Did you say Anya dumped me? To be a demon again?"

"Er, well yeah. You were there Harris, don't you remember?"

"Enlighten me, please."

Spike looked questioningly at Xander and then began patting down the pockets of his duster until he found his cigarettes. After lighting one and taking a long drag, he spoke.

"It was at your wedding, there you stood at the end of the aisle, waiting for your bride. The music started and the girls strolled out in their lovely puke green dresses. After a few minutes, when the bride still hadn't shown, Buffy went looking for her. Turns out D'Hoffryn made her an offer she couldn't refuse; she left a note. You were devastated, it was quite entertaining."

Xander absorbed this information and turned to his Spike.

"Not home. That is so not the way it happened in my world."

"Well, I guess we should find a motel then. Motorlodge?"

"Motorlodge."

As the two began to walk away, blonde Spike fell into step.

"So, what's the story with you two then? I think I deserve an explanation."

"We aren't from here. In my reality, I left Anya at the altar. She cursed me, and now I'm jumping from one reality to the next hoping to get home."

Spike whistled and gave Xander an appraising look.

"You are either truly brave or truly stupid. Leaving a vengeance demon at the altar? Not the smartest decision you ever made. So what's with Billy-boy there. You shagged him so she sent him along for the ride?"

Spike growled at being called Billy-boy and then glared at the blonde vampire.

"I was picked up along the way. And if you don't want to be wearing your stones around your ears, I'd suggest you don't call me that again. I may not look like you, but believe me, I am just as much a vampire as you are. Perhaps more so."

This time it was blonde Spike who growled.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Simple, you stink of slayer. What kind of vampire shags a slayer? Well, besides the souled kind. You don't have a soul, do you?"

Both Spikes looked horrified at the very idea. Blonde Spike vamped out and growled at dark-haired Spike.

"No I soddin' well do not have a soul. Wanker."

"Rather be a wanker than a slayer-shagger. Bloody pathetic if you ask me."

Xander finally found his tongue and interrupted their argument.

"Wait a minute. You and Buffy? Buffy and you? Oh this is just so wrong."

Xander walked away shaking his head and muttering under his breath. The vampires exchanged a look and then started to follow. Spike didn't know what had set his human off, but after the last few days he wasn't about to let Xander start blaming himself for anything again. The other Spike just wanted to make sure that none of the scoobies saw his dark-haired self.

That and he didn't want them figuring out that he was shaggin’ the boy. His version of Xander would likely be horrified; either that or he'd take the piss with him about his double’s hair and poofy tendencies.

"Oi! What do you mean it's wrong?"

Spike picked up the pace and reached out to stop Xander from walking away. He pulled his hand back fast when his dark-haired double snarled at him. He turned astonished eyes on his twin and then nodded his head in understanding.

"Sorry, mate. Didn't know seeing as he's unmarked. Answers that question though don't it?"

"Bloody chip."

They exchanged sympathetic looks and then Blonde Spike turned back to Xander again.

"So what did you mean? Why is my being with Buffy so wrong? Can't be because I'm a vampire, bit hypocritical there ain’t it?"

Xander shook his head and took a deep breath. He looked at his Spike and realised he was waiting for an explanation as well. He let out the breath on a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Did Buffy die here?"

"Yeah. Red brought her back. What's that got to do with it?"

"I assume that you and Buffy weren't together before she died?"

"No."

Spike was beginning to look impatient so Xander continued.

"It's wrong because you're going to end up hurt, Spike. Buffy is a mess; she was torn out of heaven. Once she starts to accept her life again, she'll walk away from you. She doesn't love you, but I think you know that. The point is, she will never love you, she can't. You're not Angel, and he's the only one she'll ever really love because she won't let herself love anyone else."

Spike wanted to argue the point, tell Xander he was wrong, that Buffy did love him, that they were together and that was it. Unfortunately the boy was right, and Spike knew it. He might lie to others but never to himself.

"Bit late for that. She's already dumped me like the trash. Bloody bint, won't even give us a chance. She's all, 'I used you, and it's killing me' never mind what I want, what it's doing to me."
Xander looked at his lover and smiled sadly at him. It was kinda sad, seeing Spike like this. Before this had all started, Xander had always thought Spike was unbreakable, the consummate tough guy. Now he knew better; he knew that this Spike was heart-broken, you could see it in his eyes. Dark-haired Spike threw a companionable arm around his double’s shoulder and started walking toward the cemetery exit.

"What say we grab a couple bottles of Jack and go get pissed?"

"Sounds like a bloody good plan to me."

Xander shook his head and followed behind his lover and the blonde vampire. He wondered if this was a good idea, considering what happened the last time he had gotten drunk with two vampires.

~PART 53~

Several bottles of Jack later, Xander sat on the bed, his back leaning against the headboard, his lover sitting between his thighs, back pressed against his chest. Blonde Spike reclined beside them - a half empty bottle of whiskey in his hand - watching them.

Xander's arms were around Spike; he absently ran one hand up and down the vampire's chest and stomach. He hadn't realised that his touch was attracting the other Spike's attention until he spoke.

"See? Now that's the kind of thing Buffy would never do. Just touch me like that, casually. Hell, she never touched me at all if we weren't shagging. Unless she was kicking my arse for something."

Xander noticed what he was doing and looked at the wistful expression on the blonde's face. He felt an overwhelming urge to reach out to him, to make him feel better. He was about to reach for him when his lover sat up and looked at him. Xander knew that look, he nodded his understanding and smiled at the look of shock on the blonde vampire's face as his lover leaned down and kissed him.

Spike's shock was quickly overcome by lust and he kissed back enthusiastically. It was a novel idea, after all, how often did a narcissist like Spike get a chance to kiss himself, and maybe more? He'd have to be crazy - or at least sober - to pass it up.

With lightning speed, Spike pulled his dark-haired double on top of him and then rolled them both until he was straddling the other vampire’s hips. He held his shoulders down and looked at the face he hadn't seen in a mirror in over a century. He found nothing but honest lust in the eyes that bore into his and smiled. If he had seen pity in those eyes, he wasn't sure what he'd have done.

"What about your boy there? He off limits?"

"Up to him; he can play if he wants to. Didn't seem to mind playing with Angelus last week."

The blonde vampire sat up in alarm and looked appraisingly over at Xander. He looked back at his double with awe and jealousy.

"Bloody hell! He must be something special if the wanker let him live."

"Oh, he's special alright. Let me tell you a little story about Xander, a hot knife, a pair of pliers and one ex-Initiative soldier."

By the time Spike had finished his story, both vampires were extremely aroused and looking at Xander with predatory gazes. He swallowed hard and adjusted the front of pants. He couldn't help but get hard when his lover looked at him like that. And the effect was doubled since there were two Spikes and they both had the same look on their faces, the same promise of exquisite pleasure in their eyes.

Brunette Spike crawled over to straddle Xander’s thighs and licked a wet stripe from his collarbone to his ear. He then bit down on the lobe gently and growled softy as Xander's hips bucked up.

"So, pet. Do you wanna play with us? Or do you just wanna watch?"

Xander swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded his head.

"I wanna play."

The words were barely out of his mouth when he found himself looking into the yellow eyes of a demon. His lover sat back and pulled his shirt off and tossed it across the room before divesting Xander of his shirt as well. The blonde Spike began removing Xander's shoes and socks as the dark-haired vampire undid the human’s pants. Both vampires worked together to pull them off.

As Xander sat naked on the bed, the vampires turned and began undressing one another. Since their shirts were already gone, they each toed off their boots and shoes. Then they reached for each other's jeans and began popping open the buttons. Xander wiped his mouth as the drool threatened to spill over. They were beautiful together.

As the vampires kissed and ran their hands over each other's bodies, Xander's hand crept down towards his straining erection; he wrapped his fingers around it and began to stroke himself leisurely. He was startled as two pairs of yellow eyes turned on him and narrowed in displeasure.

"Uh uh, pet. That's mine."

Xander moved his hand as the vampires prowled toward him, joining him on the bed and nuzzling his neck at either side. He was helpless under their attack, unable - and unwilling - to put up any resistance. He groaned as cool lips and tongues tasted him, cool fingers traced random patterns on his overheated skin. When one cool mouth engulfed his cock he screamed out in pleasure before another cool mouth silenced him with kisses.

The vampires worked in tandem, where one left off the other began; soon there wasn't an inch of Xander's body that hadn't been licked, sucked, kissed or nibbled. He thought that if hell was like this, he would be glad to end up there. Having his body worshiped by demons was turning out to be a regular occurrence for him. One he wasn't at all opposed to.

Xander found himself turned on his side, his lover spooned up behind him and his soon-to-be lover in front of him. He kissed the blonde vampire and was pleased by the growl he got in response before his mouth was plundered in a fierce and possessive kiss. He couldn't help but respond in kind.

Xander whimpered as Spike pulled away from the kiss. He felt his leg being lifted and draped over Spike's hip as slick fingers probed the opening to his body. He moaned and pushed back, trying to get those fingers to go deeper, faster, anything. He sobbed as the fingers withdrew, only to hiss as something much larger began to push its way inside.

"Fuck, Spike!"

A dirty chuckle met his words and he opened his eyes to see a smiling blonde demon in front of him. His mouth was taken in a brief but searing kiss before a tube of lubricant was pressed into his hand.

"That's the plan, luv."

The blonde rolled over so that his back was to Xander's chest and then lifted his leg. Xander wasted no time in slicking his fingers and preparing the vampire. Once he was sure he'd done a thorough job, he used more lube to slick himself as well and slid inside the blonde.

The three men set a slow rhythm rocking their hips, and Xander wrapped one of his hands around Spike's cock to give him something to thrust into. Their slow lazy pace didn't last long though and Xander soon found himself on all fours, a vampire underneath him and one behind him.

He was lost to the pleasure - as he pulled out of the blonde Spike, the brunette one pushed into him. Back and forth he went between the two demons. He fucked harder when he was ordered to - slamming himself inside the cool snug channel of the vampire under him as he was taken just as hard by the one behind him. As his climax approached, Xander acted out of instinct and leaned forward and sank his teeth into Spike's shoulder. The blonde howled and clenched around him as he spilled his seed over Xander's fist. That was all it took to bring Xander over the edge and the other Spike right behind him.

They lay slumped together in a tangle of limbs. Lazy caresses were exchanged and slow, sleepy kisses. Before long they had all three fallen asleep - Xander in the middle with a vampire cuddled into each side

When Xander woke the next morning he couldn't move. There was a solid weight on his chest and legs. He lifted his head and smiled at the sight that met him. His Spike was lying across his legs - his face pressed into his groin, the other one was asleep on his chest - head tucked under his chin. With a dopey grin on his face, Xander lay back down, unwilling to disturb either of the demons currently using him for a cushion. Before long he was asleep again.

~PART 54~

It's been a while since I've written, things have been hectic. You're probably wondering what happened after the whole "I slept with Deadboy" and "everything is my fault" brain melt down. Well, to be truthful, alot has happened since then.

~PART 55~

Okay, just got back from seeing my double of this world. Poor bastard - he's completely out of it. Glory sucked his brain out, and Wills wasn't able to restore him. She did however manage to save Tara. Okay, in all fairness she is her girlfriend and they're in love, but we've been friends since we we were five, doesn't that count for anything? What does it say about our friendship that she chose to save Tara over me?

~PART 56~

Xander woke the next morning to find Spike sleeping ontop of the blankets next to him. He wondered what was going on in his lover's head, he just took off the night before, and now he was sleeping ontop of the bed instead of getting in with him. Xander wondered if he had done something to piss him off. He couldn't think of anything that he could have done, aside form not want to believe him about their doubles.

Xander shook his head as he began to make the connection. Spike wasn't pissed with him. He thought Xander was angry, because he now knew what his lover was capable of. Well, duh. He knew he was a vampire when he began to feel things for him. He never fooled himself about what Spike was, he just got comfortable with the idea that the vampire would never hurt him. He was right - at least about his Spike, but he had forgotten that not every Spike and Xander out there were in love. He needed to remember that. They were bound to run accross countless versions of themselves that hated each other.

Xander leaned over and kissed his sleeping lover softly on the lips before climbing out of bed. He needed a shower and then he needed to go and see Willow. He still wasn't sure what to tell her, but he had promised to stop by again.

Xander left a note for Spike and then took off on the bike. He was starting to enjoy driving the motorcycle when he had the opportunity. He still didn't think he wanted to do it all the time, Spike was much more experienced with it than he was, and Xander had never had to take the bike out on the highway. He wasn't sure he was up to that yet.

Willow and Tara were sitting on the front porch when he pulled the bike to a stop. They both looked up and Willow smiled at him. He could tell it wasn't a genuine Willow smile, but then under these circumstances, he understood. She was trying at least, and that had to count for something.

"Hey."

Xander climbed off the bike and walked toward the house.

"Hey back. How are you?"

"I'm good. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I had no idea that my showing up like that would cause so many problems. I just ... I needed to find out if I was home or not."

Willow nodded and gestured for him to sit with them. Xander smiled in thanks and sat on the steps just below her and Tara. They were all quiet for a moment and then Xander sighed in frustration and decided to see if they had any suspiscions about his double and Spike.

"I saw Xander yesterday. He looks good for a raving loon, Spike takes good care of him?"

The girls exchanged a look and Xander smiled ruefully. Yep, they knew or at least suspected. He wondered if they would tell him what they suspected.

"Oh, yeah. Spike's good with crazy people. Plus, you know, it gives him a better place to live than a crypt and with Buffy gone, we've been trying to raise Dawn, keep up with patrol, and find a spell to fix Xander. He was our only option other than having Xander commited. I didn't want to do that. Those places are horrible, you always hear horror stories about the patients being abused and neglected. I couldn't do that to Xander."

"Yeah, much better this way, at least Spike is the only one abusing him."

Willow turned cold eyes on him and glared. Tara got up and went into the house.

"You don't have any right to judge me Xander Harris! I'm doing the best I can here, and okay, maybe Spike is taking advantage of the situation but he hasn't hurt Xander. And I don't have any other options. I can't afford to hire a live in caretaker, hospitalisation is out of the question and Spike knows that if he ever did anything to harm Xander I'd dust his ass."

"Willow, he's feeding from him."

The witch sighed and looked at the unimpressed version of her best friend in front of her.

"Xander? Have you ever been bitten? It doesn't have to hurt you know. It can be quite ... pleasant if done a certain way. Spike has a chip, he can't hurt Xander, so if he is biting him, it's a pleasureable bite."

"Pleasureable? And you know this how?"

"Spike's fed from Tara and I a couple of times. After the battle with Glory, he was in bad shape and there was no time to get him blood. Then once when we were on patrol, he got hurt pretty bad, a demon almost sliced him in half. I fed him and then helped him home. I know you don't understand it Xander, but I think Spike cares about him in his own way. He won't hurt him."

Xander shook his head and sighed. That's what he had thought too, before his lover told him he was being naive. He smiled sadly at Willow and got up to leave. She reached out to touch his arm and he stopped.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Spike. I want to hear it from him. If he tells me he's not hurting Xander, maybe I'll believe it."

Xander got back on the bike and drove away. He wasn't sure that going to see Spike was such a great idea, but he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't just leave here without knowing the truth, could he?

Spike woke up and knew immediately that he was alone. He got off the bed and looked around the room, half expecting Xander to have packed up everything and left. He wouldn't be surprised, after finding out what he was capable of, why would he stick around?

Everything was still there though, everything but Xander that is. He saw a sheet of paper on the corner table with his name scrawled accross it. He picked it up, scanned the note and sighed in relief. Xander had just gone to see the witches. He would bring back lunch and blood for him. That meant he wasn't leaving him, he wasn't angry. Spike smiled, shook his head at his own paranoia and headed to the bathroom to shower.

After drying and dressing, Spike put on the headphones and popped in his favorite Sex Pistols cd. He bobbed his head along to the music and danced around the room. He tidied up the room a bit as he danced around, he found Xander's journal and briefly contemplated reading it. He shook off the idea and put the book away with the rest of his lovers things.

Eventually Spike settled in the chair with his own journal and started writing. He wrote for a long time, switching the cd when it was finished. He was still writing and singing along softly to the clash when Xander entered the room.

Xander looked at his lover and smiled. Take away the cd player and the modern clothes and he could see the man that Spike was when he was human, hunched over a book, scribbling away furiously. Except of course, the vampire wasn't writing poetry like William would have been.

Spike jumped when Xander bent down and kissed the top of his head. He growled playfully at him and pulled the human onto his lap. He nuzzled into Xander's neck and then licked along his pulsepoint. He desperately wanted to bite him, mark him as his own. He now knew that it was possible, at least he hoped it was, but he wouldn't do it unless Xander wanted it. Spike pulled away from Xander's neck and turned his lover so he could look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry about last night luv. I thought you were angry with me, angry with yourself for loving me. Shouldn't have left you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have. But I understand why you did."

"I saw my double at Willy's, we talked."

"Yeah, he told me. I went there today."

"You did? Why? I thought you were visiting with the witches?"

"I did, we talked. They know what's going on. Willow said that Spike cares about Xander and he wouldn't hurt him. I went to ask him if it was true."

"What did he say?"

"Not much, he just said he wasn't hurting him and that should be enough. That he likely could, seeing as Xander was nuts but he didn't."

Spike nodded in understanding. That was probably the best he'd get. He held no illusions that his double had any romantic feelings towards the boy. He was just doing what he could get away with being a chipped vampire. For the humans sake, he hoped his double remained chipped. Then again, if the boy got better, he'd need to be able to defend himself, Spike wasn't fooling himself there either. This Xander would kill the vampire if he got his mind back.

"Enough about them, pet. I missed you."

"Yeah? How much?"

Spike's eyes flashed gold and then back to blue. He picked Xander up off the chair and tossed him onto the bed. He started stripping off his clothes as he walked toward the bed.

"How about I show you?"

"Sounds like a plan."

~PART 57~

Naked, Spike crawled onto the bed and slithered up the length of Xander's body. He could feel the hard flesh trapped in the human's denims and pushed his own naked length against it. The feel of the rough material on his sensitive skin was intoxicating. He lay fully atop his lover and began trailing soft kisses and nips along his throat. When he reached the juncture between neck and shoulder he suckled on the skin there until he felt his fangs begin to descend. He pulled away before he could cause any damage.

"Xander, I want to ask you something."

Xander was panting, glassy-eyed with lust beneath him. He tried to get Spike's lips within kissing distance but when he realised that it wasn't working, he shook his head and tried to pay attention to the fact that Spike was speaking to him.

"Wha ... huh?"

"I said, I want to ask you something."

"Now? You want to talk now?"

"Yes, now. That alright?"

"Okay."

Something about the serious nature behind Spike's question made Xander take notice that this was important. He moved to sit up but Spike kept him in a laying position by pressing him down with his own body weight.

"I want to mark you Xander, claim you."

Xander's eyes grew large and he frantically tried to remember everything he knew about vampires and their mating habits. He realised he was freaking his lover out, and immediately tried to calm himself. Instead of panicking, he decided to just ask Spike what it meant.

"Claim me? How? What does that mean?"

"Yes, claim you. I'll bite you, here in the muscle."

Spike ran his fingertips over the spot he had been sucking on before.

"It would mean that you belong to me. That you love me. That you're not a plaything, but a mate. My mate."

It was a lot to take in. The possessive tone in the vampire's voice was doing funny things to Xander's insides. He wanted to think, to analyse the situation, but mostly he wanted to know if a bite was as pleasurable as he'd been told.

"Would it hurt?"

"No, pet. It'd feel good. So good. I'd make sure it did, never want to hurt you."

"If we do this, would that mean you were mine as well?"

Something base and primal broke free inside of the vampire, blue eyes bled to yellow, teeth elongated and sharpened and ridges formed on his handsome face. He looked deep into whiskey-coloured eyes and spoke in a voice that belied no argument.

"I already am. You've claimed me a hundred times over, with your actions, your words. You've shed blood for me, maimed and tortured for me. You've risked yourself for me time and again. You already own my heart and mind. This gives you ownership of my body as well. All that I am will be yours."

Xander looked and saw the sincerity in those feral yellow eyes. He knew that any sane person would run from a declaration like that. He must be as crazy as his double then because he had no intention of running.

"Do it, Spike. Make me yours."

Xander arched his back and groaned as Spike growled and dove for his throat. He expected to feel the sting of razor sharp teeth in his skin, but instead he felt soft lips raining light kisses all over his skin, cool hands began to pluck at the buttons of his shirt before opening it and pulling it down and off his arms. Xander lifted his hips and assisted as Spike removed both jeans and boxers. He lay naked and aroused beyond belief, waiting for his lover to bind them in blood. At some point, Spike had shifted back to his human face. Crystal blue eyes full of love looked into his own and Xander shuddered with need.

"Please, Spike. Need you."

"Shh, luv. You have me."

The vampire tenderly prepared his soon-to-be mate before slowly filling him. He paused and looked deeply into his lover's eyes. He saw no doubts, no fear, only love, passion and acceptance.

"Are you ready, love?"

"Yes, I'm ready, Spike. I love you."

"Love you too, Xander. Mine, all mine."

Spike slowly morphed back into his demon form and nicked his wrist with his fangs. He held the dripping appendage to his lover's mouth and as Xander swallowed the blood that filled his mouth, Spike spoke.

"By accepting my blood into yourself, you pledge yourself to me. From this moment until I am dust, you belong to me. Do you agree to these terms, do you accept me as your mate?"

Spike withdrew his wrist and watched as Xander licked his lips.

"Yes. I am yours. Your mate until you are dust."

Spike growled and swooped in to kiss Xander possessively. He began to move within his lover, angling so that he stimulated his prostate on every thrust. He reached between them and began to stroke the boy in time to his thrusts. As he felt Xander begin to tense, he pierced his flesh gently with his fangs and drew on the wound as his lover screamed out his pleasure and tightened around him. Spike withdrew his fangs and licked the still-seeping punctures until they were sealed.

"By taking your blood into myself, I state that I am yours. That I accept my position as mate to you. From this moment, for as long as you walk the earth; whatever your form, I am yours."

Xander smiled and looked deeply into the eyes of his mate.

"Mine. My mate. Always."

Spike collapsed onto Xander's chest and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

I have to wonder what this means for the physical aspect of our relationship. I mean, we haven't exactly been monogamous recently. There was Angel, and then Spike, so does this change things? Are we no longer taking others into bed with us? Not that I care; as long as I have Spike I don't want or need anyone else.

Xander watched his mate sleep as he trailed his fingertip over the mark on his neck. He shivered and had to suppress the sudden jolt of arousal that washed over him. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and wake his vampire so they could make love again; his mark tingled at the very idea of feeling those sharp incisors plunge into him again.

He fought the urge for a full five minutes before giving in and stripping off his clothes and climbing back into bed and trailing kisses along the expanse of Spike's naked back. Hopefully the vampire would wake up soon.

~PART 58~

They were sitting in the far corner booth at Gus' Donut Emporium. Site of Xander's crappy job #17 in his post high school career of minimum wage-paying jobs. Xander had just finished licking the chocolate frosting from Spike's fingers and was seriously considering taking him into the men's room to lick something else when it happened.

The world spun out of focus for just the briefest of moments and then they were somewhere else. Where, he didn't know. It sure as hell wasn't Gus' Donut Emporium, unless the Gus of this world had some serious issues.

They were both sitting on their asses on the floor as there were no chairs in this place. There wasn't much in the way of furniture period, unless you wanted to be strapped into an A-frame, chained to a wall, tied to a rack or literally have your ass in a sling. Xander looked around the room with shock clearly written on his face.

"Holy bondage, batman."

Spike smirked and looked longingly at the assortment of leather whips and wrist-cuffs in a display case nearby. He fantasised for a moment about restraining his mate with the soft-looking leather and spanking him until his bum was nice and rosy. He snapped out of his imaginings when he heard Xander snicker softly in his ear.

"So, I assume in your mind I was just handcuffed to the bed and at your mercy, huh?"

"Leather cuffs actually and you were over my knee."

Xander blushed but Spike didn't miss the increase in his mate's heartbeat, or the tantalising scent of arousal that poured off the boy.

"We'll have to see about getting a pair and finding out how much this damn chip will let me get away with."

"Okay."

"Meantime though, we should find a way of getting out of here without setting off any alarms seeing as the place looks closed."

Xander looked around and saw that the place was indeed empty of customers. He ran his hand along the countertop and frowned at the dust that covered it.

"Might not be a problem. I don't think this place has been open in a while."

"Hmm, might as well do a bit of shopping then, eh?"

Spike waggled his eyebrows and collected a pair of the leather cuffs, a wooden paddle, and a soft-looking leather flogger. Xander gulped and shook off the lust-induced haze that surrounded him as Spike stuffed his new toys into one of their duffel bags.

"Come along now, pet. Time to see the new and improved Sunnyhell, eh?"

Xander opened the shop door as Spike pushed the bike outside. He stopped dead in his tracks and Xander walked into his back.

"Spike! What the hell..."

Xander trailed off as he saw what had caused his mate to freeze on the spot. It was dark outside, but only on this side of the street. On the other side, the sun was shining brightly on a field of purple grass and Day-Glo orange flowers. It was beyond bizarre.

Looking further down the street, Xander squeaked and grabbed tightly onto Spike's arm.

"S-Spike? Is that a dragon? It looks like a dragon."

"If it isn't, I ain't gonna be the one to tell him."

"Can we go? Preferably in the other direction?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely in the other direction. What say we push the bike for a bit, yeah? Not draw any attention from the big scaly reptile over there?"

Xander nodded his approval of Spike's plan and they quietly, but as quickly as possible, moved away from the dragon. Turning the corner had Xander biting his cheek to keep from laughing in hysterics. He almost lost the battle when Spike's eyes bugged out anime style and he whispered a string of curses that would have made a truck driver blush.

The scene looked like something from the imagination of a Disney animator on crack. The colours were all ten times brighter than anything ever seen in nature; there were little mushroom-type beings running all willy nilly and Xander was sure he saw a winged horse. Officially freaked out, Xander began to panic.

"Well, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

Spike snorted.

"Not unless someone has been dropping acid into the town's water supply. Sod the attention; get on the bike, Xan. We're getting the hell out of here."

Xander climbed on behind the vampire and held on tightly as the bike roared to life and the mushroom critters all turned toward them and opened mouths full of razor sharp-looking teeth. Spike drove through the middle of the crowd, kicking out at anything that got too close.

Xander watched in wide-eyed fascination as they drove through the streets. In places, the pavement turned to dirt or cobblestones and even something that he was sure was actually gold. But it was the people - beings - he saw that held him in awe. He was almost positive he saw Ewoks, Gremlins and something that looked like a Sasquatch.

They drove through places where it was darker than night - the only illumination was the headlight on the bike, a place where there were two suns shining in the sky, a place where the buildings were so tall they blotted out the sunlight and the trees were all silver and pink. It was beyond disturbing. Eventually they came to a place - near the old high school if Xander was correct - where it looked like home. The trees were green, the sky was blue with only one sun, and there were people - actual human people - outside in the daylight. Spike pulled the bike to a stop and Xander got off and looked around.

He asked the first person he saw what was going on. He received a strange look before the woman blinked, shook her head and walked away. Xander tried again - several times - but got the same result. Everyone looked at him like he was a simpleton or something. He was getting extremely frustrated by the whole experience.

"Give it up, Xan. Obviously no one is going to tell us what we want to know."

As soon as Spike spoke the man next to him stopped and looked at the vampire carefully. His eyes widened in fear and he began to tremble in fear before bowing down at the vampire's feet.

"What the hell?"

Spike looked from the man at his feet to his lover and raised an eyebrow in question. Xander merely shrugged. After everything he had seen so far, this was nothing.

"Please, I didn't realise."

The man at Spike's feet was pleading with the vampire.

"Didn't realise what?"

"That you were a vampire, of course. If the Master finds out you have been treated this way, he'll be sure to punish everyone."

"No worries, mate. Tell us what happened here and I promise not to say a thing."

Spike helped the man to his feet and then pulled Xander into his arms. They listened in shock as the man told them how all of California had been changed overnight. That someone had made a great tear in the fabric of worlds. That monsters and demons now lived among the human population. That this was the only part of the entire state that still had humans in residence - only because there was no way to escape. There were still things here that would eat them or worse but that the Master protected them.

By the time the man had finished, Xander had a pretty good idea of what had happened. Glory. He shook his head sadly and wondered if any of the scoobies had survived. He also wondered who the Master was. He could only think of two vampires that would protect the humans here. Angel and Spike. If it was Spike, then it meant that at least some of the scoobies had to have survived; otherwise he would have left Sunnydale.

Spike dismissed the man and turned Xander around in his embrace. He kissed him softly and rested his forehead against that of his mate's. He was hoping that this would be one of their shorter visits. He didn't fancy the idea of sticking around this place for a long time; leaving now would be good as far as he was concerned.

Xander noticed that as it got darker the people seemed to all disappear indoors. He wondered if they should follow suit and take shelter as well. Spike seemed to realise what was happening, as well.

"Come on, love. Let's not stick around to see what comes out at night here, eh?"

They got back on the bike and drove towards the hotel that the man from earlier had directed them to. Tomorrow they would look for the town's Master and see what was going on. Tonight, Spike was looking forward to testing his limitations where the chip was concerned.

~PART 59~

The hotel wasn't much. Then again, Xander didn't expect that Sunnydale got many visitors these days - not the human kind anyway. He dropped his bag in the corner and went to check out the bathroom while Spike brought the bike into the room; he said he didn't trust leaving it outside in this place. Xander didn't blame him.

While Xander was in the bathroom, Spike took a minute to unpack his new toys. The paddle was just your everyday simple wooden paddle, nothing elaborate, but it had a good weight and was smooth as silk. He wondered if he could get Xander to use it on him at some point; it had been a while since he'd had a proper spanking.

Next he pulled out the leather wrist cuffs. They were small - only an inch wide - with silver buckles and adorned with small silver spikes on them. That was the reason he picked that particular pair. They were soft, like the leather had been worked in extremely well. He was glad of that; he didn't want to leave marks on the boy - not on his wrists, at least.

The flogger was a thing of beauty. Black and red deerskin leather. The tails were a foot and a half long, half an inch wide, with angled tips. A ten-inch handle adorned with a red and black herringbone design and a six inch braided wrist loop finished it. Spike held it to his face and inhaled the intoxicating leather scent.

He had picked up two other prezzies for his pet, things that the boy had yet to see. An adjustable black rubber cock ring and a set of anal beads. He smirked when he pictured the boy's reaction to these items. He was pretty sure his Xander wouldn't have clue one about the beads.

Xander walked back in from the bathroom declaring that the shower was tolerable but that no way was he sitting in that tub. He saw the assortment of toys that the vampire had set out on the bedside table - along with a bottle of lube - and blushed. He and Anya had played around with spanking and tying each other up before so he wasn't exactly new to it, but this was different. When he had played with Anya, she was the submissive one. He somehow doubted that Spike was looking to be on the receiving end.

~PART 60~

When Xander awoke the next morning, the events of the day before seemed like a bad dream. That or a vivid hallucination. Dragons? Mushroom people? What the hell was that all about? He rolled out of bed and sleepily made his way into the bathroom.

After taking care of his "nasty human business" he brushed his teeth and then started the shower. He was studiously avoiding looking outside. He didn't want to think about where he was; this place was just too weird. He started briefly when cool hands touched his shoulders, followed by a hard chest pressed into his back. A hard something else was pressed against his butt.

"Mornin' luv. Sleep well?"

"Mm hm. Slept great!"

Xander grinned a dopey grin. He had thoroughly enjoyed what his lover had done to him last night. He definitely wouldn't object to playing that particular game again.

"Good. 'Cause today probably won't be much fun. Need to be alert, make sure we don't drive off into dragon land or something."

"Oh. Right. That wouldn't be good."

"You think?"

The pair finished in the shower; the talk of dragons and the reminder of where they were killed any notion of sex that either man had. They were both rather subdued as they dressed and gathered their belongings. Xander took the bags as Spike rolled the motorbike through the door. They needed to find the Master of what was left of Sunnydale.

"Er, Xan? No offence meant pet, but why are we out here looking for the vamp in charge instead of hiding in the hotel until we shift?"

It was a good question. One that Xander had asked himself many times since he'd begun this journey. The simple truth was, he was curious. He couldn't not find out all the details he could about each new place. It was like he was driven to explore each new reality. In some cases he was glad he did. It had led him to finding Spike; it had resulted in Riley Finn getting what he deserved. There were other reasons, but those were the two that stood out in his mind.

"I don't know, Spike. I just ... need to do this. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, luv. I do. Come on then, let's go."

They hadn't gotten very far when the biggest demon Xander had ever seen stepped out into the street directly in front of them. It was the size of a Clydesdale and as ugly as a bloated corpse. It smelled bad too. Spike swerved the bike and tried to go around it but two smaller versions of the demon stepped out from behind the big one. They took up positions on either side of the leader and Xander knew they had no chance of getting past them.

Spike knew it as well; he tried to swing the bike around and go back the way they came from. He might have succeeded, too, but the demons were faster than they looked. The bike went down on its side, wheels still spinning as both vampire and human were swept up and into the demon's arms.

"Oi! What the hell is this then? Put me down! Now!"

The demon merely chuckled - at least that was what Xander assumed it was doing - at the vampire's outrage and then ignored him. Xander tried to remain calm; panicking wasn't going to get them out of this. He needed to stay calm, wait for Spike to give him some kind of signal. He had to be alert.

Spike struggled fruitlessly in the large demon's grip. The bastard was strong. He wasn't sure what they wanted with him and the boy, and he wasn't planning on sticking around to find out, either. He saw that Xander was doing his best to remain calm, he felt a swell of pride for his boy. Most humans, hell even some demons he knew, would be sobbing hysterically by now. He had chosen his mate well. Xander was one of the bravest individuals - of any species - he'd ever met.

When the opportunity presented itself, Spike took it. He lashed out with fangs and claws and managed to rip a good-sized gash into the demon holding him. It was enough to make it release its grip on him and he immediately rushed to the one holding his mate.

Between the two of them, they freed Xander and made a run for the bike. They were almost upon it when Spike pushed Xander in front of him and turned back to fight their pursuers.

"Xander! Get the hell out of here!"

"No! Not with out you, Spike. I won't leave you."

"Go! Bloody hell, I'll be fine, you won't. Fragile human, remember?"

"Spike..."

"Please love. If I don't find you beforehand, I'll catch up next world eh? Motorlodge?"

"Okay. Be careful."

"I will, love; go now."

"I love you, Spike."

"I love you too, Xan. Now get the hell out of here!"

Xander hesitated briefly but got on the bike. He knew Spike would be more effective if he didn't have to worry about his safety. That was the only reason he had agreed to go. He took one last look behind him and saw Spike rip the head off one of the smaller demons before he tore off in the direction of the hotel they had just left.

Xander found a drugstore, parked the bike and went inside. He purchased a large bottle of peroxide, some heavy-duty antibiotic creams and a shitload of bandages. He was just exiting the store when he saw a familiar face.

"Oz?"

The werewolf turned and snarled before stepping back in shock. He cocked his head to the side and delicately sniffed the air. In a decidedly Oz-ish fashion he nodded to himself and 'hmm-ed'.

"Xander."

It was more a statement of fact than a greeting but Xander was too distraught to notice. He hefted his shopping bag and crossed the street toward the only friendly face he'd seen in this reality.

"Hey, man."

"Who are you? I mean, I know you're Xander. But you're not Xander. You smell off."

"Wow. A complete sentence, I'm impressed. I am Xander, I don't know about the 'smelling off' as you put it, but I'm from a different reality."

"Cool."

"Not really. This place is... beyond description actually. Very much looking forward to leaving; the sooner the better."

Oz gave him an appraising look and asked Xander what his story was. Xander told him he'd be happy to explain but not there. He had to get back to the hotel and wait for Spike. Oz raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He followed Xander back to the bike and climbed on behind him.

Back at the hotel, Xander got the same room as before and led the werewolf inside. He unpacked his first aid supplies and paced the floor waiting for the vampire to return. He told Oz the edited version of his story while he wore a groove in the floor. The wolf listened attentively and then pulled out a cell phone. Xander watched as he dialled a number and waited for it to be answered.

"Hey. I just ran into a very interesting person. You should come. Bring her with you."

Xander wondered who the hell Oz was talking to. He didn't like the idea of his whereabouts being broadcast. He tuned back into the one-sided conversation just in time to hear the other man say goodbye and hang up.

"Who were you talking to?"

"The Master of Sunnydale."

"Ah. So, Angel or Spike?"

Oz quirked a brow but otherwise didn't let his surprise show.

"Spike. Angel's dust. He tried to hold on to the L.A. territory. The new breed didn't like that idea. They tore him apart. Don't mention it in front of Spike; better yet don't mention Angel at all. It's a sore spot for him."

Xander nodded his acquiescence. He understood the bond between Spike and Angel a lot better now than he used to. And if this Spike were anything like his mate, the death of his sire, especially that kind of death, would be hard on him.

"Not a problem. So, who's he bringing? And why are they coming?"

"You'll see when they get here. I'll explain why when he gets here, as well."

About twenty minutes later a knock sounded on the door and Xander looked at Oz before going to open it. The werewolf nodded and Xander opened the door to Spike and... Dawn. Well, it made sense to him now. If Dawn were here, that was why Spike was still here. Hell, even Oz could probably hold his own with most of the beasties out there enough to get out of Sunnydale. But there was no way Spike would risk Dawn.

"Er, come in."

The vampire ushered his young charge into the room ahead of him and looked at Xander suspiciously. He sniffed the air and then stepped back in alarm. Xander heard the snarl before he saw the demon features break out on the blonde's face. He held up his hands in a placating manner and stepped back.

"I can explain."

"I bloody well hope so!"

Xander told Spike the same story he had previously told to Oz and watched as the demon paced the length of the room and back. He still wasn't sure why Oz had wanted him to come. Once he finished telling his story, he asked about the demons that had his mate.

"Not a lot of fun, those guys. But I'm sure that this other Spike'll be fine. I've tangled with those buggers a time or two myself; as long as they don't manage to get him back to their camp, he shouldn't have too much trouble."

"And if they do? Get him back there, I mean."

Spike looked a bit apologetic before answering.

"Then he's in for a world of hurt. They ah, they like the taste of dead flesh. They'll try an' eat him alive."

Xander looked horrified at the idea. He rushed to the door, intent on finding his mate, but strong, cool arms grabbed him before he got within four feet of it.

"You don't want to go after him; you, they'll kill. Save you for desert, they will."

"I don't care. I have to find him!"

"Make you a deal then. You take Dawn and I with you when you go, and I'll help you find your Spike."

"Fine. Deal. Let's go!"

"Not so fast. First you do whatever it is you have to do to make sure we get out of here. Then we'll go save your mate."

Xander gave Spike a dirty look and then stormed over to the bike, where the bags were still strapped to the back fender. He dug around until he found the vial of spell oil and pulled it out. He uncorked the stopper and walked toward the vampire.

"Give me your hand."

Spike held out his hand and watched as Xander drizzled a small amount of oil onto it. He looked at the man questioningly and smirked as he received an eye roll in return.

"Not all magic is a big production you know."

The vampire snorted in amusement and pulled Dawn to him so that Xander could do the same to her. Once finished, they left the girl with the werewolf and took the bike to find Xander's mate.

~PART 61~

It occurred to Xander that he hadn't asked about what had happened to the Xander of this reality. He was about to rectify that when another - more important - question struck him.

"Spike? How can you be out here in the sunlight?"

Xander was so used to his Spike being out in the daytime that it hadn't dawned on him that this vampire shouldn't have the ability. He climbed on the bike while he waited for an answer.

"The witch - Red - did some mojo on me awhile back. Made me sunproof."

"Oh. Where is Willow?"

"Dead. Got eaten by a nasty beastie. She was protecting the lil bit; she did good."

"And me? This world's Xander?"

"Killed by Glory. Same as his chit. Shame, that; I liked her."

Xander nodded and started the bike. So he and Anya were both dead here. That would explain why things were different. Beating Glory had been a team effort; everyone was needed. Apparently, even he.

As they drove, he could feel the strong grip of the vampire behind him. It made him ache for his lover. He hoped they would find him, that he would be in one piece. Hell, as long as he wasn't dust… Xander knew he would recover eventually, and that would be good enough. Of course, he'd rather they found him before anything drastic happened to him. They got to the spot where the demons had first appeared and Xander stopped the bike.

"This is where they had him; he told me to go, otherwise I never would have left him."

"You did the right thing. He would have been too distracted if you had stayed. Can't pay attention to the fight if you're worried someone else is gonna be hurt. That's what got Red killed."

Spike wandered off and Xander watched as he stopped every few feet. The vampire would lift his head slightly and sniff, or he'd crouch down and study the dirt. Eventually he came back to Xander and got on the bike.

"I'm driving."

"Why?"

"You don't know where you're going. 'Sides, you drive like crap."

"Okay."

Xander had no argument for that, and if it got him to his mate quicker, he would gladly let the blonde drive. They tore off through the trees and Xander had a sudden flashback to the first time he had ridden the bike with his Spike. It was scary as hell. Apparently, this Spike was hell on wheels, as well.

They drove for some time; every now and then Spike would stop and sniff the air before taking off once again. Xander tried his best to pay attention to where they were, just in case he had to find the way back on his own. So far, he had named each new bizarre place they drove through: "melted crayon land", "Muppets on speed land", "the smelly place", and they were currently driving through what he'd come to call "hell's kitchen" as the place was hot as... well, hell; and there were boiling pits of lava strewn about the landscape.

Xander breathed a sigh of relief when they finally exited that place. They were now in a dense foresty place; the trees looked as though they were centuries old. Spike stopped the bike and nudged Xander to get off.

"We'll have to leg it from here. Those demons have very good ears; they'll hear the bike coming and we'll get caught."

"Okay. Lead on."

"Let me make one thing clear. The girl is the only thing that matters; if your Spike is already gone, we're out of here. If I get caught, you run. Stay alive, Xander. Get Dawn to the next world. If it's as nasty as this place, you keep her with you until you get somewhere she'll be safe. Understood?"

"Yeah, I get it. Keep Dawn safe. Can we go already?"

Spike growled and spun on his heel. He started off through the dense trees, Xander followed behind him. They walked for awhile in silence before Spike stopped and motioned for Xander to stay put. He then crept quietly through the trees until Xander could no longer see him.

Xander began to panic. What if Spike took off on him? What if he got lost here and never found his mate? He could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest; he could hear the pounding of his pulse in his ears. He remembered what the vampire had said about these demons and tried to calm himself. It wouldn't do anyone any good if he got caught because he couldn't control his own emotions.

Spike came back through the trees, a nasty scowl on his face. He approached Xander and shook his head when the human opened his mouth to speak. He pointed toward the direction he had come from and put his finger to his lips in a silencing gesture. Xander nodded and followed quietly behind as the blonde led him through the trees.

What he saw when they emerged on the other side was enough to make him sick. There were holding pens filled with all sorts of different creatures. He saw humans, vampires, some of those little mushroom people, and others he hadn't ever seen before. He didn't see his lover, though. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not.

Spike directed him to a tree in the distance. There, chained and gagged, was Spike. Xander desperately wanted to go to him; the vampire beside him anticipated his reaction and grabbed his arm in a vise-like grip. Xander spun around, his face a mask of fury. Spike stared him down with cold eyes. Once Xander was more in control of himself, the blonde released him and pointed to a path off to the side.

They followed the path, occasionally ducking into the surrounding forest for cover. Eventually they made it to a spot that was within twenty feet of the tree Spike was chained to. Again, Xander made to go to his lover and Spike held him back.

With a contemptuous look on his face, Xander watched as the blonde version of his mate crept silently toward his mate. He knew that Spike had a better chance of getting to him than he did but it didn't make him feel any better about doing nothing. Spike was his mate, he should be doing something to help him.

The blonde vampire crept up to the back of the tree and began to work on breaking through the chains that were holding his double. He felt the vampire begin to tense and twist around and hissed out a warning.

"Stop struggling, wanker! I'm here to save your sorry arse."

Finally, the blonde was able to break the chain, and he quickly unwrapped the dark-haired version of himself. They started back toward the path and Xander.

They took off as quickly as they could while still making as little noise as possible. Once they had cleared the camp, Xander pulled his mate into his arms and kissed him soundly. The other Spike growled his displeasure and suggested they save the reunion until they were back at the hotel.

They weren't far from the bike when Spike cried out in pain. Xander spun around and gasped at what he saw. Spike was holding his hand over the stump of his wrist - where his right hand had been only seconds before. In front of him was his severed hand and a very sharp axe-type weapon, covered in blood.

Xander grabbed his lover and pulled him along. There were several demons running after them and they had no time to stall. The blonde Spike had already retrieved the bike and had it running. Xander pushed his lover onto the bike behind the blonde and looked around frantically.

"Get on the bleedin' handlebars! We have to go!"

Xander did as he was told and they took off. It wasn't until they were out of the trees and back into "hell's kitchen" that he began to relax. Not much, mind you, he was still scared for his life and that of his lover's. Spike wasn't looking so good; he had lost a fair bit of blood, and was barely holding on to the vampire in front of him.

When they reached "the smelly place", Xander insisted they stop for a minute. Spike grumbled but did as he was asked. Xander used part of his shirt to bandage Spike's wrist and then used the rest to tie his lover to the blonde Spike's back in case he passed out. He realised to his dawning horror that Spike had lost his ring - it had been on his now-severed hand, and there was no way to get it back until they shifted.

It was still fairly dark in "the smelly place" and "Muppets on Speed land" didn't have a sun. Not that he'd seen anyway, so they should be pretty safe there, as well. But "melted crayon land" had two suns, and then they would be in the real world again. And obviously, the sun there would kill his mate.

"Er, Spike. Sunlight is gonna be a problem for him."

"Should be dark enough by the time we get back. No worries."

Xander shrugged his shoulders and got back on the bike. He hoped to God he never had to travel on the handlebars again. He was pretty sure that Spike had scared at least ten years off his life with his driving, and Xander wasn't so sure he had that many years left in the first place.

All Xander wanted was to get back to the hotel and hold his lover in his arms. He knew that Spike would be okay eventually. Vampires had amazing regenerative properties, and if they could get Spike some human blood, he would heal up pretty quickly.

Xander snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the blonde Spike cursing - loudly - in his ear. They had just entered "melted crayon land" and they were being chased. Xander looked back over Spike's shoulder and cursed as well. The demons from before were still chasing them, and it looked like they had gained a few helpers.

Spike gunned the engine and the bike sped up. Xander held on with a white-knuckled grip; he could see the demons were gaining on them and wished once again that they hadn't shifted to this reality in the first place. Then he began to feel dizzy. This could be very good, or very bad…

"Oh shit!"

~PART 62~

Bright sunlight bathed his face and he opened his eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision and then sat up with a start. He was lying on the ground, the motorcycle a few feet away and no sign of his mate.

His mate. Sunlight.

"Oh fuck! Spike!"

Xander ran to the bike and fell to his knees. The blonde demon was just sitting up; he had a wide gash on his head from when the bike must have gone down. He still had Xander's shirt tied around him. But where Spike - Xander's Spike - should have been, was just a pile of ash on the pavement.

"Bloody hell! You could'a warned a bloke it was a bumpy ride."

Spike rubbed at the bump on his head and looked behind him. Xander was staring wide-eyed at the remains of his mate. Spike realised what must have happened and he scrambled to the boy's side just as the human let out an ear-splitting wail.

Spike knew they couldn't stay here in the middle of the street. They were sure to draw attention, for one thing, and he needed to find Dawn for another. If he understood correctly, she should be in the same place as he had left her.

"Come on Xander, nothing you can do for him now."

Xander didn't hear him. He was lost in a world of pain and grief. He just wanted to open his eyes and see his lover again. But each time he did, he was confronted with the ugly truth. His mate was dust. Gone. Never again would he kiss those cool silky lips. Never again would he look into those icy blue eyes and see them filled with love - for him, only him. He would never again hear his voice, never hear him speak words of love or anger. Never again hear the breathy moans of his passion, the choked sobs of a thousand torments relived in his dreams. He would never hold him in his arms again. He was gone.

Spike was debating on simply leaving Xander there in the street and taking the bike to go find Dawn. He didn't have time for this; sure he felt for the kid, but he had a promise to keep and everyone else was expendable. The witch, the boy, the wolf, they were all just a means to an end. If their lives bought time for Dawn to escape then it was an acceptable loss as far as he was concerned.

"Oh for... Sod this!"

Spike stood and manhandled the sobbing human onto the bike. After picking up the bags and various things lying about, he climbed on behind him and did his best to drive with one hand while holding onto Xander with the other. He pulled up in front of the building where Dawn should be and turned off the bike. He left Xander outside on a bench and went to find his charge.

Xander was still sitting on the bench outside the hotel when Spike emerged with Dawn. The girl looked around and smiled at the sight of the Sunnydale she remembered. Then she saw Xander. He had stopped crying - though tear tracks still streaked his face; in fact he had stopped everything.

"Spike? What's wrong with Xander?"

"He lost his mate. The other me didn't make it."

"Oh. That's awful!"

"Nothing to be done about it now, Bit. We need to find out if this place is safe, then we need to get him to remove the spell so we don't end up going with him next time if it is."

"We should find Willow."

"Good idea; come on."

Spike put Dawn on the bike and looked over at Xander before climbing on the bike. Dawn gave him a dirty look when he started up the bike and began to pull away, but she was used to his behaviour by now. She looked back sadly at Xander as they turned the corner.

Xander wasn't sure how much time had passed; he looked around, not recognising where he was, at first. Then it all came back to him, the shift, Spike being dust, the other Spike bringing him here and then leaving him. He didn't care. All he wanted was for this to never have happened. He wanted to go home, and he wanted his mate. He needed to feel his strong arms around him. Hear his deep voice rumbling in his ear, telling him everything would be all right. He could never have that again, and the realisation made him physically ill.

Xander lurched off the bench and stumbled toward the hedges before losing the contents of his stomach. He heaved until he thought he might pass out from exertion. Then he remembered that he had left Spike - what was left of him - alone on the edge of the road. He took off running. He wouldn't allow his lover's remains to be swept into the gutter. He had hated himself for years after Jesse died because he knew that his remains had been swept up and thrown in the trash.

Crying and panting in exhausting, Xander dropped to his knees and looked at what used to be the love of his life. He thanked all the gods he knew of that it hadn't been windy or rainy that day and that Spike's remains were still here.

By the time Willow found him, he was crying softly and running his fingers through the dust. She approached him slowly like he was a wounded animal. She stopped a few feet away and crouched down. After a few minutes of silent observation she called his name.

"Xander?"

He didn't answer, or even acknowledge that he had heard her.

"Xander, it's me, Willow."

He was still silent so she crept closer until she was right beside him. She gently lay her hand on his bare shoulder and he flinched. She regretfully removed her hand and opened the bag she had with her.

"Spike, um the new one, said you might be here. He also told me why. I'm so sorry Xander. I wish there was something I could do to make it better, some way to help."

"A spell. Bring him back, Willow. I know you can do it. You brought Buffy back."

For the first time since he'd lost his lover, Xander felt hope blossom in his chest. It was crushed again with the next words Willow spoke.

"Oh Xander. I can't, Buffy was a human - a champion for the powers, even. Spike was a demon. I don't know how; I don't think there's a way."

Xander began to tremble and he turned away from the redhead and looked back down toward the pile of dust in front of him. He knew he was crying; he even knew that he was making this odd keening sound. He just didn't care. What did it matter anymore?

Willow handed him a shirt and when he didn't make any move to take it she slowly slid it on over his head and manoeuvred his arms through the sleeves. She pulled a medium-sized clay pot with a cork lid out of the bag, as well as a small dust tray, and went to clean up the vampire's remains. Xander grabbed her wrists and squeezed them painfully until she dropped the dust tray.

"What. Are. You. Doing?"

Xander was practically growling at her, and for the first time ever, Willow was afraid of him. He was still Xander, the boy she had known since kindergarten. Even if he wasn't her Xander, she never thought she would be afraid of him, but she was.

"I was just going to put his remains in this pot, so you could keep them. I swear I only wanted to help. Xander, I would never do anything to hurt you."

Xander knew she believed what she was saying was true, but he knew what she was capable of, what his Willow had done to him.

"I'll do it."

Xander took the pot and carefully swept up every trace of his lover. Once he had finished, he pushed the cork into the top of the pot and cradled it in his hands. He couldn't believe that something this small held his whole life. He shuddered and got to his feet. Willow reached out toward him and then pulled her hand away before touching him.

"Xander? Will you come back to the shop with me?"

Xander looked up at her and blinked the tears from his eyes.

"Why?"

"Um, well you don't have anywhere else to go, and you should be with friends right now."

"I don't have any friends here. This isn't my home."

"You're Xander. That makes you my friend. Please Xander, come back with me." Xander thought about it for a minute then nodded his assent. He took two steps toward her and then stopped.

"Will Spike be there?"

"Which one?"

"The... new one. I don't want to see him right now. Actually, I don't think I can handle seeing either of them."

"I'll go in first then; if they're there I'll ask Buffy to take them somewhere else. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Wills."

"You're welcome, Xander. I am your friend; if you need anything ... please ... just remember that. Okay?

"Okay."

Willow smiled sadly and held out her hand. Xander took it warily - still clutching Spike's ashes to his chest - and they began the walk back to the Magic Box in silence.

~PART 63~

The motorbike was parked out front. It was such a simple thing, but it brought him to tears. Bringing back memories of their first few days together, how Spike had slowly but surely corrupted his way of life. He touched it gently, caressing the seat, reliving the times he would lean into his lover and close his eyes as they sped down the freeway. It was such a simple thing, but he knew he would miss it terribly.

Xander waited until after Willow had gone into the shop to open his duffel bag. He found the oil - what was left of it - and used some to anoint the clay pot that held the vampire's ashes. He wanted to make sure that if he ever got home, Spike went with him. Once he was finished he wrapped the pot in a bulky sweater and put that, as well as the oil, back into the bag.

He could hear voices inside; he knew that Spike was in there, at least one of them anyway. He was glad he hadn't gone in. Just listening to his voice - even muffled by the barrier of the door - was making his chest constrict. This was a torture beyond anything he could have thought of. To see his lover's face, hear his voice, and have it not be him... Hell, this was one to make Angelus proud.

Anya had really outdone herself. If her aim was to hurt him, to make him pay for breaking her heart, she had succeeded - tenfold. There was no way she could hurt him more than he was hurting right now.

There was the sound of doors slamming and then Willow came back. She had pasted on a fake, cheery smile and led him inside. He looked at the faces of the people he knew, the people he would always associate this place with. Then he looked at the ones that didn't belong here, the ones that were out of place. One of them so utterly wrong in this setting he thought he might have been hallucinating.

Giles was there, Anya, Willow, Tara and Dawn as well. They were right; they belonged. Angel didn't, though. He should be in L.A., saving people from evil lawyers. Xander thought that maybe he should tell him that, but then figured that he really didn't care anymore. If his life was ruined - if his mate couldn't be saved - why should anyone else be saved? What was the point?

But it was the other vampire that threw him. Standing in the corner, a blank look on her face, stood Drusilla. Xander watched in silence as she seemed to come to life before his eyes. She wove her way toward him, smiling sweetly and dancing to a tune only she could hear. She stopped a few feet away from him and began to twirl in slow circles. Everyone in the room seemed to be drawn into her spell.

"It's all black and red. Bleeding. Clawing at your insides."

The vampiress moved closer and whispered in his ear.

"I can hear it, its music. It sings to me like screaming children. So sweet, your pain. Can I taste it? It's been ever so long."

She snapped her teeth at him and spun away. Xander blinked as if it had all been some bizarre dream, that he wasn't really seeing the insane demoness in Scooby Central. Then Angel stood and took Dru by the arm and guided her from the room. That seemed to break the silence the others had fallen into. Willow led him to the chair Angel had just vacated and got him to sit.

"I'm sorry. I should have made Buffy take her, as well."

Xander looked up at her, confusion clearly written on his face. Nothing was making sense anymore. He didn't really care; he had actually thought for one moment there that she was going to kill him. He wouldn't have stopped her.

"Dru, she has a chip - like Spike. I don't know much about what's going on with you, Sp... He was kinda rude. He just said that you had been cursed, that you were hopping between realities and that your lover was... gone."

Gone. The word itself was enough to make the ripping pain in his chest blossom again. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to see these people, these carbon copies of his friends. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to the last world - before Spike had been captured by those demons, when they were making love. Everything was always better when they made love. They never would again.

"I - I have to go."

Xander stood and made for the door. He flung it open only to run into this world's version of himself. He looked at the shocked expression on the other Xander's face and laughed hysterically. It was all suddenly too much. He couldn't bear the strain of it any longer. As he collapsed to the floor he vaguely heard Willow explaining what was going on to his confused twin. Then, there was blessed darkness.

When Xander opened his eyes again, he knew he was alone. He could hear voices, but they were muffled. He was lying in a soft bed in a dark room. He sat up slowly and listened to the conversation in the other room.

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, but you can't take it out on Spike. That Xander is not me, Angel. And it wasn't our Spike who marked him."

"I know, and I didn't mean to attack him. I just kinda went crazy. I could smell Spike all over you - him - and my demon reacted. I don't like you smelling like anyone else, Xander. You're mine."

"No, I'm not, Angel. Not really."

"Xander ... We've talked about this. I can't claim you."

"Not 'can't', Angel. Won't. You won't claim me, and you're right, we have talked about this. I don't want to talk about it any more. I'm going to bed."

Xander listened with a small amount of curiosity. He and Angel? That was unexpected. He wondered what Buffy thought about all that. He needed to use the bathroom, so he quietly got out of bed and walked to the door. He cracked it open and looked out into a dark hallway. He could see lights on in the room ahead so he walked toward it.

Angel was sitting on a dark brown leather sofa. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was lost in thought. Xander didn't want to disturb him and was just about to turn and walk back out the way he came when Angel's eyes snapped open and he turned to look at him. Xander couldn't help but shiver under the intense gaze. Then the vampire shook his head and blinked. Sad brown eyes looked into his and Angel stood.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine. Um, where's the bathroom?"

"Back down that hall, last door on the left. Are you hungry? I could make you something?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

"Some tea, then? It might help."

Xander realised he hadn't eaten in a while, and after throwing up earlier, he probably should at least try to put something in his stomach. He nodded acceptance to Angel and went in search of the bathroom.

Standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror, Xander had to admit that he looked like hell. The bags under his eyes had bags of their own. His eyes were red and swollen and they looked... haunted. Then again, what did he expect? He splashed some cold water on his face and then dried it on a towel before leaving the bathroom.

He found Angel in the living room, a tea service set out on the coffee table. He almost grinned at the idea of Angel owning a tea set, but he just didn't have the strength to make that kind of effort. Instead he dropped onto the sofa and waited as the vampire poured him tea, adding liberal amounts of sugar to it and passing him the cup.

"Thank you."

Angel nodded and fixed himself a cup, as well. They sat in silence for some time; when Xander finished his tea, Angel fixed him another cup. Finally, Xander couldn't take the absolute silence.

"Tell me about this place, about you and Xander?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything, everything. I just don't want to think about my own problems right now. You know?"

"Yeah. I do."

So Angel told him. He told him how they had fallen in love, how hard Xander had fought against it. He told him about the bad times - when Angelus had come back - how Xander had learned magic so he could restore his soul. Xander perked up a bit at that. This was the second time his double had been a magic user. Maybe he had a hidden talent after all. He reminded himself to look into that when he got home; if there was a spell to bring back Spike, he would find it.

"So, if you love him and he loves you, why won't you claim him?"

At Angel's shocked expression, Xander explained that he had overheard their earlier conversation. The vampire sighed and hung his head. He mumbled something that the human couldn't quite make out.

"What?"

"I said, because I don't deserve him. Xander, I'm a monster - a demon. I've killed thousands of people, destroyed their lives and the lives of their loved ones. I don't deserve to have such a gift."

"And what does he deserve? Has my double done anything so horrible that he should be made to suffer?"

Angel looked outraged at the idea.

"No! Xander's never hurt anyone. He deserves to have everything he wants."

"He wants you."

"I know, but he deserves better. He deserves a life in the sunshine, a family, and children if he wants them. I can't give him those things; eventually he'll want them. If I claim him, it's forever. I won't let him go. Not even if he wants me too."

"I know."

"Yeah, I guess you do."

They sat in silence once again. Xander finished his tea and stood. He stopped beside Angel and squeezed his shoulder in support.

"I think you underestimate his feelings for you. If he loves you, and I think he does, he understands what he's getting into. Don't deny yourself happiness, Angel. You'll regret it if you give up on this chance."

Xander went back to the room he woke up in and laid down on the bed. He buried his face in the pillow and cried himself to sleep.

~PART 64~

When I woke up this morning I had forgotten that he wouldn't be here. I reached out for him in my sleep and he wasn't there. It woke me instantly, and then the pain came back. It hurts, like nothing I've ever felt before.

I haven't been able to even open Spike's duffel bag. I can't. Not yet. I know what's in there. His duster and Doc's, his black jeans and t-shirt, the clothes we bought for him, his journal and his CD's. Also, the ring. It showed up when we shifted. Willow found it when she came to me - she knew what it was and kept it for me. When she gave it to me earlier today, I almost threw up. I remembered that the last place it had been was on my lover's severed hand. I put it in the bag without even looking at it. Maybe someday, when the pain is less, when I'm home, I will go through his things. Look at his clothes, listen to his music and read his words. But not right now. Right now it just hurts too much.

Xander closed his book and stuffed it into his bag just as his double came through the door - followed by Spike and Dawn. The blonde didn't look very happy to be there, but Xander was beyond caring. He looked up at Dawn and smiled. He was happy for her, having to live in that other crazy reality had to have been rough on her. He was glad he was able to help her; he just wished to the cost hadn't been so high.

Xander stood and went toward Dawn. Spike growled and stepped in front of her. Xander rolled his eyes at the vampire's possessive display.

"For Christ's sake, do you want the spell broken or not?"

Spike stepped aside but Xander noted that he didn't go far. It was disheartening to realize that this Spike didn't trust him. He took Dawn's hand and held it in both of his. He whispered a few soft words and let go.

"I'm finished."

Dawn smiled at him and Spike stepped up. He thrust his hand out toward Xander and waited. Xander closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then took the vampire's hand. He was overwhelmed immediately by the feel of it. It was just like a hundred other times that he had touched this skin, except this time it wasn't his lover. He whispered the words and then fled back to the spare room and closed the door. He stayed there until his double knocked softly and told him they were gone.

"Thanks."

"No problem. That Spike is a bit ... I dunno, but he makes the Spike I know seem like a friendly guy."

"Yeah, well if you saw where he came from you'd get it."

"He told us about it. Some of it anyway."

"Yeah? So what happened there? With all the craziness I never found out."

The two sat on the sofa and talked for a while. Xander listened while his double told him what Spike had shared with the group. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Glory had killed Buffy. Doc had already cut Dawn so the portal was open. Spike saved her, but without Buffy to close the portal, it remained open. Spike had taken Dawn, Willow, and Tara and run for it.

Tara had been killed within days; she and Willow had worn themselves out casting protective spells on Dawn and Spike so when the dragon came at her, she was unable to protect herself. Spike had left her behind, grabbing Dawn and making a break for it.

Willow had been next. She was never the same after Tara's death. She made sure Spike had every advantage possible to protect Dawn - including sunproofing. She had fallen in battle with a group of magic-using demons. Her death had bought time for Spike to get Dawn to safety. He fell in with a werewolf pack for a few days; that's where he met up with Oz.

Oz had agreed to help Spike and Dawn, but only if he did something to stop the new breeds from taking over what was left of the original Sunnydale. His family was still alive and trapped there; they refused his offer to bite them.

"I wondered why he didn't ask to come with."

"Yeah, he had his own pack apparently. He sounds much wolfier than the Oz I know."

"The one I know isn't into the whole pack thing either."

This world's Xander made dinner and they ate together in front of the TV. He asked about the reality that Xander was from, almost choking when he heard about Anya and the wedding that wasn't. He couldn't believe his double had almost married that blunt, outspoken ex-demon.

Xander decided to go out for some air; he had been inside for what felt like days. He stepped out onto the sidewalk and breathed deeply. The cool night air was refreshing; he had the sudden urge to just get on the bike and drive. He didn't care where he went, just away from Sunnydale and any reminders of Spike or the scoobies. So that's what he did.

San Francisco was nice. It was way different than Sunnydale, or even L.A. Xander thought he might enjoy staying here for awhile, no matter what reality he ended up in. He booked himself into a motel and then went out on the town.

Being out on the town consisted of finding the nearest bar and getting embarrassedly drunk. Can't-stand-falling-down-on-your-feet drunk. He was surprised he even made it back to the hotel. He probably wouldn't have if he hadn't thrown up after the dark-haired man in the leather coat tried to pick him up. Vomiting was an amazingly sobering experience.

He must have shifted at some point between falling face-first on the bed in the early morning hours, to waking at some point in the afternoon. All his things were there, the bags that he had left at Xander and Angel's as well as the ripped shirt he had left on the side of the road. He shoved it into Spike's duffel bag and then went to the bathroom and threw up again.

After a hot shower and a shave, Xander left the room in search of coffee and something bland to settle his stomach. He found a neighborhood diner, right beside a drugstore a block and a half from the hotel. He purchased a pair of dark sunglasses from the store and then went into the diner for some breakfast.

After ordering coffee and toast, he picked up a section of the morning paper off the countertop and idly read through the comics and horoscope pages. He snorted at his reading.

But someday all will be clear.

He tossed the paper back onto the counter with a disgusted snort and took a healthy sip from his coffee. He felt a little better after eating and ordered another cup. He headed for the men's room just as the door to the street opened. When he came back there was a man and his little girl sitting two stools down from his, and he smiled at her as he took his seat.

The little girl smiled back and Xander turned back to his coffee. He drained the cup and placed a couple bills on the counter and rose to leave. He got a good look at the man sitting with the child and groaned. Only he would run into himself in San Francisco. This was supposed to be an escape from the Scoobies. Apparently the fates had it in for him; he wondered if there was anywhere in the world he could go and not have to be reminded of who he was and what he'd lost.

He figured he'd better get this over with. Obviously he had no choice but see what changes his life had undergone in each new place. He tapped the other Xander on the shoulder and when he looked up he removed his glasses. The other man jumped, his eyes bugged out a fair bit and he stumbled to his feet.

"Who - who are you?"

"I'm you."

 ~PART 66~

Well, it looks like we have now come to the "Buttmonkey" portion of my little sojourn into hell. I am a woman. A pregnant woman. Oh, and it gets better; it's all Buffy's fault.

~PART 75~

Here I am a zombie. Sort of. Not really, but I'm the walking dead, so what else are you gonna call it? Remember back in high school, Jack? Yeah, the crazy guy who wanted to raise his buddies from the dead - and succeeded. Turns out, he killed me. Stuck a knife through my chest and then let me die. He brought me back like ten minutes later, but still. So we have dead Xander. Or Zombie Xander if you prefer, which he doesn't, by the way.

God. For the first time since this happened, I don't want to go home.

Xander closed his eyes and let the tears fall. He knew he would have to face them, accept them being together. If it made her happy - made Spike happy - than who was he to stand in their way? Maybe the next world he went to, he should just drive out to the middle of nowhere and stay there. Then he wouldn't have to worry about going home and facing them together.

As the dizziness swept over him, Xander began to laugh through his tears. Maybe a rat was too good for Anya; he could turn her into a vegetable and feed her to a bunny. Yeah, a big juicy carrot. That would work.

Xander sat up and got his things together. He strapped the bags to the back of the bike and began to push it out of the room. He was glad he was able to book a room on the first floor this time - trying to get the bike down several flights of stairs wasn't an easy task. He exited the hotel through the side door and got on the bike.

He drove through town towards the cemetery. If he was going to stay in this world, he needed to go somewhere that he wouldn't run into himself. Therefore, he was going to find Spike and ask him where the scoobies lived in this reality. He didn't want to know anything else.

The crypt was empty. In fact it looked like it hadn't been lived in for awhile now. Xander let out a frustrated sigh and went back out to his bike. He sat on the seat and tried to figure out where to check next. He figured he could always go to L.A. and ask Cordelia and Deadboy. But it was a hell of a trip to make just to ask a simple question.

"Xander!"

Xander looked off to his right and saw Buffy running towards him. Behind her were Willow, Tara, Dawn, and Anya.

"Oh, yay."

Xander closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Oh well, he thought to himself, there's always the next world.

"Xander, thank God! Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened to you?"

"Buffy. Slow down. I think I need to explain."

"Explain what? How you've been missing all this time? How even Willow's tracking spell couldn't locate you until tonight?"

Xander looked around wildly and then narrowed his eyes as they fell on his ex-fiancée. Anya cringed under the scrutiny and Xander smiled an evil smile and stepped toward her.

"Why don't you answer that, Anyanka. Tell them where I've been, what you did to me!"

The others all gasped and looked at Anya. Xander stared her down as she began to weep.

"I didn't. It wasn't me!"

"Bullshit! It was vengeance magic; who else could it have been?"

There was a blinding light and then Halfrek appeared.

"That would be me."

Xander looked from Anya to Hallie and then back again. He tried to figure out what was happening. All this time he had assumed it was Anya, that she was getting revenge on him for leaving her at the altar.

"You? Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"Easy. You hurt Anyanka; she couldn't take vengeance against you on her own behalf so I did it for her."

Buffy interrupted with a question.

"Who made the wish? What was it?"

"Why that's the best part, he did. He was crying in his beer and said, and I quote 'I wish I knew how my life could have been, if I had made different choices.' So, I granted his wish."

Xander lunged at her and she disappeared. He turned around as she reappeared behind him. He went to lunge for her again but Buffy stopped him.

"She'll just keep doing it, Xander. Don't give her the satisfaction of letting her get to you."

Xander growled but didn't try to go after her. He thought back to the night before he first shifted realities. He honestly didn't remember making a wish. He thought he of all people would know better, drunk or not.

"I must say though, you certainly made quite a mess of those other timelines. I had so many things I had to straighten out. A dead person here, a spell removed there. People in the wrong realities. Not to mention the soul restoration spell. Plus, I seem to be missing one vampire. Did you know that D'Hoffryn is threatening to suspend my teleportation privileges over that?"

Xander was stunned. All the good he had done had now been undone just like that. Dawn and Spike sent back to that crazy world, Spike and Angel losing their permanent souls, Riley Finn back from the dead, everything back to the way it was, as if Xander had never been there. He was glad that Spike had been killed by the sun; it was far better than what would have happened if Halfrek had sent him back to his reality and Riley fucking Finn.

Willow, who had remained behind Buffy with Tara and Dawn all this time stepped forward and reached out to touch Xander. Xander flinched back from her and closed his eyes against her pained expression.

"Xander?"

"Not now Wills, okay? I need some time."

"Time? For what?"

"To think, to sleep, to just wrap my brain around what I've been through. I've been gone so long, I can't quite believe it's finally over."

Xander got back on his bike and drove away. Willow turned a puzzled expression to her friends, and then glared at Halfrek.

"How long has Xander been gone?"

"Mortals! Time moves differently in other dimensions, you know. A couple months here could be years somewhere else. To you it's been what? Two, two-and-a-half months? To Xander, he's been gone almost a year."

Hallie smiled and then disappeared. Anya slunk away from the group when they weren't looking. As soon as she was out of sight she disappeared into thin air, as well.

Xander lay on his back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was home. It felt odd to be here, in his apartment, in his own bed. He had gotten so used to sleeping in hotels and Giles' guestroom that he was almost uncomfortable here. He heard someone clear their throat and he looked up to see Anya standing at the foot of the bed.

"Okay, I know you didn't come in through the door so I assume you got your power back?"

"Yes. After you left me standing at the altar, D'Hoffryn offered me my old job back. I took it."

"Look, Anya, I've had a really bad day, hell I've had a whole shitload of really bad days, and I'm not in the mood. Why are you here, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I saw Hallie; she showed me what happened to you. I'm sorry, Xander. I may have turned you into a woman, and made you carry Spike's love child, but I would never be this cruel, not to you. Do you hate me now?"

"I thought it was you. That you were getting revenge on me, that you must have hated me to be capable of this. I was going to have Willow turn you into a rat. Then I was going to feed you to a snake. Then, I decided that was too good for you, and I was going to have you turned into a carrot and be gnawed on by fluffy little bunnies."

Anya gasped in horror and then looked at Xander speculatively.

"Do you want a job? You know, I think you might have a real knack for vengeance."

Xander almost smiled at her.

"Hey, An? Where's Spike?"

"Gone. He disappeared about two weeks after you did. No one knows where he went. He and Buffy had a fight. Did you know they were having orgasms together?"

"I suspected. So what happened?"

"He tried to force her and then he disappeared."

"Oh. Look Anya, I'm beat. Can we do this later?"

"Of course. I really am sorry, Xander, and I understand why you left me now, I just wi... well, it would have been better if you had done it before our wedding day. Can we be friends?"

"Yeah. But only if you go away right now; like I said, I'm beat.

Anya smiled and then disappeared. Xander sat up and opened the closet door. He unpacked his bag and hung his clothes. He set the clay pot of Spike's ashes on top of his dresser and touched it lovingly. Then he unpacked Spike's bag. He hung up his clothes and his duster and set his Docs on the closet floor. He emptied the toys into his bedside table drawer and then set the vampire's journal inside the drawer as well. He took out his own journal and picked up a pen.

I'm finally home.



The End