Title: Reversal: Forgiven

Author: meagan

nutmeg@serv.net

Summary: Angel and Xander continue their... discussion. Right after "Save It for Later." In the words of Joe Bob Briggs, not much plot to get in the way of the story.

Spoilers: Well, everything but nothing. Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB (even though they *really* don't deserve these guys after what they did to us in May), and anyone else I forgot.

Rating: After seeing _American Pie_, I'm going with R on this one. I've mentioned that I'm bad at ratings, right?

Distribution: Please ask.

Note: The "permanent...feeling" bit was actually lifted from a Jimmy Buffett song. The funny thing is that I haven't heard the song -- I hadn't even read the lyrics when I decided to use it -- but I managed to get the right idea from just the few words that make up the title of the song. Anyway, when I started this part a while ago, I had been mean to Xander earlier, so I thought I'd try to make it up to him.

Dedicated to my spastic kat Hunter who decided to go on a rampage at ten pm the night I finished this, complete with attacking the big, bad entertainment center (ooh, those videotapes were horrible and don't deserve to sit on the shelf) and jumping on top of the bathroom door (how the hell can an eleven-pound feline balance on the top of a plain old *door*?). This rampage kept me out of bed *way* past my bedtime and long enough to finish this thing. Note to self: Do not name future pets after journalists best known for hallucinations, drug use, and gun fetishes.

Reversal 11: Forgiven
by Meagan

Angel grinned. "Want to know what I did the next night after you left?" Xander nodded, eyes wide. Angel stood, unfastening his pants. "I was afraid it would be a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling, at least for you. You may want to avert your eyes for a minute." He hadn't planned on revealing this any more than he had planned on the actions that led up to this secret.

He hadn't thought it possible, but Xander's eyes grew even wider at the revelation. Warm fingers traced the outline of the cartoon character engraved on Angel's hip. "Marvin."

The hip jerked away. "Please don't do that."

The fingers quickly pulled back. A sad voice apologized. "I didn't mean to do that. My hand just did what it wanted." Dejectedly, he watched the pants close.

"And I didn't mean it like that." Angel knelt on one knee in front of Xander, gently forcing the human to look him directly in the eye and explaining in a low voice, "If I let you continue, we'll stain the furniture. I want my deposit on this place back."

"Oh." Then realization dawned, and the sadness became a sly grin. "*Oh*."

The vampire matched the smile. "Yeah. *Oh*." He stood. "So, should we leave now, or did you want to discuss something else?"

Xander leaned back on the couch, contemplating. He had power. Angel was waiting for his directive. He had never felt like this before. What an amazing rush. "Why? Was there some place you thought we should go?"

Angel could only stare at him in confusion. "What are you talking about? We could --" Now it was his turn to realize what was going on. Dominance was being established. He could subtly defuse the power play. Or he could cooperate. Once again, he knelt in front of Xander, resting his cheek on the other's knee. "We could do whatever you want."

He had thought that taking charge was a rush. Now, with the vampire at his feet, awaiting his command, he realized just how much power he had. And just how much he enjoyed it. Leaning forward, his head hovering just over Angel's ear, he quietly instructed, "Kiss me."

The vampire blinked a few times. Not the reaction he was expecting. But one he could live with. So to speak. Slowly, he rose from the floor, bringing his face level with the mortal's. Then, carefully, deliberately, he gently pressed his lips to the palm of Xander's hand, then tenderly licked the space between the index and middle finger. And then he returned to his original position with his head on Xander's knee.

Not the reaction Xander was expecting. But in the silence that followed, he realized what had happened: Angel was demonstrating his acceptance of his role. And power was indeed a fantastic aphrodisiac. And, much to his amazement, so was that little lick between his fingers. "Very good." Oh, geez, what next? "This time, you may kiss my lips."

Angel smiled. A chaste kiss, closed lips. Xander's lips began to part, but the vampire pulled back before tongues could act on behalf of their owners. This strict interpretation was torture for both of them, but Angel wanted Xander to say exactly what he wanted.

But someone's patience was wearing thin. Before Angel had a chance to settle back on his heels, Xander leaned forward and held the vampire's face between his hands. He studied the face for a moment, soft thumbs brushing strong chin.

Something occurred to him. Something that distracted him from his former mission of tasting Angel's mouth. Something that hadn't registered when he had seen it. He dropped his hands from the face and leaned back against the couch. "Angel? Why aren't you wearing underwear?"

For once, Angel had no answer. "Um... I forgot?"

"Right." Xander sighed. "Angel, I'm very disappointed in you. You knew I was going to be here even though I didn't, and you didn't wear underwear?" Angel was attempting to form an apology when he felt gentle hands stroke his hair. "Now, how are you going to make it up to me?"

Angel had envisioned a similar scene -- on his knees, begging for forgiveness -- many times over the past few years, but now that the moment had arrived, his mind was blank. All he knew was that he was kneeling between Xander's legs, that his cheek was resting on Xander's thigh, that the hands of his dreams were caressing his scalp, and that the voice that accompanied those hands promised absolution. Given a choice, he was willing to remain in that position for eternity. He closed his eyes so he could concentrate on the scent of the man before him.

"Angel? Are you okay?" Angel's silence and lack of movement was making Xander nervous.

The vampire's eyes slowly floated open. "Oh, yeah." He lifted his hand to Xander's inner thigh, gently tracing the inseam with his thumbnail. "I'm just trying to think of a way to make it up to you. Unless you have some ideas."

"Oh." The thumb slowly edged its way higher up Xander's thigh. Now it was Xander's turn to close his eyes. Just wallow in the sensations. Wallow. Yeah, as if it was a horrifically tragic situation.

Angel gazed at the vision above him. Eyes closed, head resting back against the couch, mouth slightly open, the mortal was every bit the picture of fantasy that had carried Angel through the past five years. Except now that the fantasy was reality, there was something missing. And he knew what it was. Especially since Xander had just shifted his hips, thrusting his groin closer to Angel. It was an unconscious move, clearly designed merely to get Xander's head in a more comfortable position on the back of the couch, but Angel remembered something someone once told him: "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission." And since he was already in the mode to apologize, he would just add one more thing to the list while he was at it.

Xander felt the thumb leave his inseam and Angel's head leave his thigh. But before he could register disappointment, he also felt hands attack his pants, quickly unfastening the button and unzipping the fly. As much as he wanted to watch the events unfolding, so to speak, in his lap, he also wanted to just *feel*. So he stayed where he was, head back and eyes closed.

"Xander?"

"Hmm?"

"Just tell me if you want me to stop."

"Mmm."

Angel opted to take the consonant sounds as agreement. As he pulled Xander's pants down his hips, Angel smiled. He wasn't the only one going commando. "Xander? Underwear?"

"I gave it up for Lent." He paused. "Five years ago."

"Ah." Pants (and shoes, can't forget about the shoes if we're going to do this properly) finally removed, Angel continued his exploration, gently drawing his fingers over Xander's skin, carefully avoiding the erection making its presence known. Unless there were any objections, he was going to take his time. The stomach was softer than he had remembered, the hair denser. Not that he was complaining. Once again, he rested his head on one of Xander's thighs, this time in order to get a better view of the other leg's reaction to his touch. He stroked the back of Xander's knee and was rewarded with a soft gasp.

A knock at the door interrupted their ordeal. "Are you guys okay in there?" Cordelia, through the door. "I mean, one of you is still undead and the other's still alive, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay." Xander. Angel looked up at him from his unique vantage point. "We just have a few more things to talk over."

"Okay." Cordelia was still speaking through a closed door. Angel grinned. She must be aware what was going on in the room. "I'm just going to catch a ride home with Whistler, okay? He still has the baby seats in his car."

"Sounds good." Xander looked at his lap. Angel had closed his eyes again, concentrating on the feel of bare thigh under his cheek. "Angel?"

"Hmm?"

Warm fingers once again crept over Angel's scalp, gently massaging in a way that could be felt to his toes. If only he could get this man to wash his hair... "You seem to have started something. Don't you think the only polite thing would be to finish?"

Now it was Angel's turn to watch his fingers make their way to Xander's groin. He gently stroked the underside of Xander's cock.

"Um, Angel?" A strangled voice interrupted his thoughts. "Mortal here. No sex in a year. Fantasizing about this for five. Could we maybe hurry this along?"

Angel froze. Was he hearing things correctly? He wasn't the only person in the room haunted by memories? And, really, did it matter? He was on his knees facing a half-naked man. Not just any half-naked man. The one he had nearly killed himself over when he had thought they would never be together again.

"Damn it, are you *brooding* again? Either give me head or give me back my pants."

Angel opted for the former.

~~~~

Some time later, as they were leaving... "So, am I forgiven?"

Xander took a long, careful look at the very disheveled vampire. With a contented grin, he replied, "For now. But I'm not sure how long that will last." He glanced at the couch. "Well, so much for the cleaning deposit."

~~~ the end ~~~