Title: A Little More Closure

Author: meagan

Summary: Xander meets his children and their adoptive parents. Takes place about a week after "Very Little Closure."

Spoilers: Let's just say everything.

Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. I could never come up with characters like this. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot.

Rating: Let's say PG. Maybe PG-13. I'm guessing. I'm not good at this rating thing.

Distribution: Please ask. I'm not too sure anyone would really want it, though.

Feedback: Please. I'm not really a writer. I'm just trying to sort out what the voices in my head want me to do. There are just so *many* of them, telling me all sorts of different things, and I'm not sure which ones to listen to. Feedback would probably help. So would therapy, but I can't afford that right now, so I'll just try to keep on writing. The big question is this: Does anyone want to see any more of this?

Reversal 9: A Little More Closure

by Meagan

Xander stared at the building, steeling himself. After much debate, he had finally called the number Kim had given him. He felt obligated. She had passed away two days before. It was pretty much her dying wish that he meet his babies' new family. *His* babies. What a bizarre thing to even consider. He was a father. Los Angeles brought back too many bittersweet memories for him to return without a second thought. But now he was here, a meeting quickly arranged after he stifled those second thoughts and before he changed his mind, to meet the people that welcomed two strangers' children into their homes. His children. Now their children. Finally, his feet dragged him into the structure.

The office itself was like any other office -- reception desk, chairs, telephones, dusty plants, issues of _People_ magazine trumpeting Hollywood marriages that were already publicly crumbling. So why did he have this burning knot in his stomach, like he was being led to his death?

"Mr. Harris?" The receptionist greeted him before he even had a chance to introduce himself. "This way, please." He was led into an office. Perfectly normal. Just keep upright and ignore the voices screaming at you to run. "Ms. Parker will be with you in a moment."

He sat on the couch, nervously drumming his fingers against the leather. Leather. More memories. The door opened, and a woman he assumed to be the attorney entered the room. Redheaded and dressed in black pants and a forest green silk shirt, she looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

Settling behind the desk, opening a folder, she began. "Well, Mr. Harris, as I'm sure you're aware, this is a fairly unusual situation we have here. Since Miss Burton told me that she filled you in on the pertinent details, I can skip that part of things. I have some pictures here that you can take home with you if you would like." She handed over the packet. He began to thumb through the pictures. Even at their very young age, these two definitely resembled their dad. Slowly, he realized there was something wrong with the photographs.

No parents.

Confused, he looked at the lawyer for clarification. "Where are the parents? I mean, even *my* parents have pictures of me as a baby in their arms."

She folded her hands over the papers on her desk, staring at her knuckles. "Well, the parents didn't want you to see pictures of them before you met them." She lifted her gaze to meet his. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Quickly, before he changes his mind, get them in here so he can get out.

One quick phone call later, and the door was opening. Xander stood to greet the people he hoped were good parents. A navy blue carriage made its way into the room followed by...

Cordelia. And Angel. Xander spun around to face the attorney and realized with a jolt just where he had seen her before. Vinnie, she of the calculated room assignments. And the receptionist. Whistler. "What is going on?"

Angel's jaw flexed. "After all I've done for you, I would think you'd be a bit happier to see me."

"What the hell do you mean, after all you've done for me?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he realized he wasn't really sure he wanted to hear that answer.

But he was going to hear it anyway. "Come on, Xander, do you really think you got that job because of your qualifications?"

Shocked silence. Finally, Cordelia broke it with her best Vinnie imitation. "Angel, that's enough. Go wait outside." He stared at her. "Just wait outside, okay? I need to talk to him." Finally, her sire left, followed by the demons. She turned her attention to the remaining person in the room. "Xander, he didn't do it to hurt you."

"Yeah, right."

"And it wasn't out of pity."

"Whatever you say, Cordy."

She glared at him. "Do you really think *Angel* would do something for you out of *pity*? Uh-uh. No way. Geez, you are still just as dense as you were five years ago. He doesn't feel sorry for you. He feels

horrible that things ended the way they did between the two of you, even though that was a huge misunderstanding. He feels *guilty*. There's a big difference."

Angrily, he bit out, "Well, he *should* feel guilty. A quick fuck at a movie and then back to his true love after he was finished."

"That's not what happened. He's trying to make things up to you -- earn your forgiveness. Pity is buying my prom dress because my father lost his job. Guilt is buying it because you hurt me beyond belief and wanted to see me smile one more time, even if I didn't know you were the one who did it. And, sweetie, you may have gotten the job because of Angel, but those promotions didn't happen because of him. *You* did that. And don't you find it just a *little* bit coincidental that these babies -- children you didn't even know existed until a week ago -- just happened to be adopted by us?"

He remembered why he was there, moving to peer in the carriage. "So what are their names?"

Cordelia smiled. He was trying to hide it, but he really wanted to be a father to those two. He was jealous of Angel's role in their lives. Now was her chance to fix that. "She's Gillian Rose."

"What? Where did that name come from? I thought for sure he'd --"

"Name her after Buffy? No way. He hasn't even spoken to her after that night you left. Giles and Willow, all the way." At his confusion, she clarified, "Rose, from Rosenburg." Finally, a real smile. "And this guy here..."

"Let me guess. William Rupert."

"No. I would have had Whistler and Vinnie take care of him if he had done that to those two." A short silence. "This guy's Alexander LaVelle." She watched his face, searching for a sign he had heard her.

Shaking his head, he glanced at her before returning his gaze to his son. "Sorry. I thought you said Alexander LaVelle. That's *my* name. So what's the squirt's name?"

"Alexander LaVelle Harris. The second. We've been calling him Sasha. Hearing your name is too hard for Angel."

Shocked, he dropped onto the couch, rubbing his face, trying to erase his own bad memories. "If hearing my name is so hard, why did he name this kid after me? Why did he adopt my children?"

She sat down beside him, stroking his back in what she hoped was a soothing gesture, trying to figure out an answer to that question. "Well, the only thing I can think of is that he misses you so much that he's decided that, if he can't be with you, he'll do the next best thing and be with your kids." Tears sprang to her eyes as she recalled a conversation she and Angel had during their flight from Sunnydale. He had suggested that she be Aunt Cordy to Xander's kids one day. Now that she was, things just weren't right. She might be Aunt Cordy, but they weren't really Xander's kids. He hadn't taught them the proper way to eat Twinkies or the Snoopy dance or any of the other Xander-as-Daddy stuff she knew was waiting to burst forth. Wiping her tears away, she continued. "But it's not enough. We need you, Xander. All of us. Well, Whistler and Vinnie, not so much, but these two wriggleworms, Angel, and me. Especially Angel. Remember brooding cryptic guy from when we were in high school? He was a barrel of laughs compared to the version I've had to put up with for the past five years." No response. Quietly, carefully, "Xander, remember that first day in L.A. when we stayed up until some ungodly hour talking about how Angel felt about you but wouldn't admit it out loud? It's even worse now. He's desperate to have a connection to you. *Any* connection." Still only her voice. Sighing, she finished, "And if you want him -- us, really -- out of your life, he's more than willing to give up custody to you. With a trust fund for them, so they don't have to worry about anything." She smiled weakly. "Just don't spoil them like my parents spoiled me. And do you know why he got you that job? So you could support these two. He really was watching out for you."

He gazed into the carriage one more time. He was a single guy. They would end up in day care, raised by strangers. Maybe they were better off with Angel and Cordelia. "Can I touch them, Cordy? Can I hold them?"

"Of course." She picked up Sasha and carefully situated him in his father's arms. Observing the adoration in his face, she had to add, "You know, if you moved in with us, you could be with them all of the time."

He gently pressed his lips to his son's forehead, contemplating the possibilities. Baby smells. People who wanted his offspring in their lives. People who wanted *him* around. Well, if he had his current job because of Angel, the vampire could certainly get him another. In Los Angeles. Or maybe he would just stay at home. With his children. In Los Angeles. "Okay." He returned the male baby to his carriage and picked up the girl. Cradling his daughter, he smiled at Cordelia. "Look, Cordy, I'm a daddy."

She smiled. This time, the tears were of joy. "Yes, you are."

~~~~ the end ~~~~