Title: Similar Features

Author: meagan

Summary: Xander hears an interesting story. And then Angel explains things.

Pairing: Angel/Parker, Angel/Xander

Spoilers: "Beer Bad"

Rating: NC-17, I think.

Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot.

Note: This song has been driving me crazy since Parker's first appearance -- when I glanced up at the tv and wondered when Xander's eyebrows got all bushy. "Similar Features," by Melissa Etheridge. "She's got similar features/ And longer hair." Anyway, this happened.

Extra note to the Angel list: This story has several sequels, but they're not Angel stories, so if you want to read them, you can either mail me for them or read them on my page.

Similar Features
by meagan

Xander's evening had taken an interesting turn. Parker Abrams had decided that tonight was a good night to tell the bartender all about his most recent problems. At first, Xander had the feeling that Parker had targeted *Xander*, close friend of one Miss Buffy Summers, but after about two minutes, Xander realized something about working behind a bar: You become invisible. Well, maybe not *invisible*, but you cease to have your own identify. Parker wasn't talking to *Xander*. He was talking to the guy behind the counter that served drinks. Parker would not recognize him in daylight or outside the bar. Or even the next evening. Maybe not even in fifteen minutes. Add to that the fact that Parker had put some quality time at the bar before Xander's shift had started, and it would be amazing if Parker even remembered confiding this story to *anyone*. Now Xander was simply trying to keep Parker there for a bit longer -- to get him to sober a bit before turning him loose on the outside world. So Xander encouraged Parker's storytelling mood.

And the story he had been telling was an intriguing one. It seemed that he had been wandering around campus the previous evening and happened upon a tall, dark, handsome man, dressed completely in black. Parker had noticed the stranger watching one of the student's previous conquests, a blonde freshman. He had decided to take it upon himself to warn the guy away from her. "She's clingy. Psycho. She'll think that there's some sort of connection between the two of you. And then she'll knock you out -- hit you over the head with a tree branch."

Oddly, the stranger did not seem to appreciate his warning. "Really."

Parker nodded. "And that's assuming you can handle getting past her friends. Well, just one friend, really, but she's enough. That redhead over there." The stranger followed Parker's finger and observed a small form sitting by herself, eyes firmly fixed upon a book. "Now, if you and
I went someplace *together*, man, we would be unstoppable. We could have any girl in the place."

A short while later, Parker found himself on his hands and knees, face in a pillow, ass in the air. Being exquisitely violated by the dark stranger.

~~~
"And it was good. Really good. But he kept saying someone else's name. Not just shouting it once or twice when he, well, you know, but over and over, moaning it like he *had* to or die. Before, during, *and* after. He wasn't having sex with *me*. He was thinking about someone else. And whoever it was would have had a *really* good time if it had been them instead of me."

"Really. That's interesting." Xander had a feeling he knew the answer to the next question, but he still needed to ask it. "What name?"

Parker frowned. "That's find of fuzzy. I'm not exactly sure. It sounded like 'Sandra' or 'Chandler' or --"

"Xander." Not the name Xander expected, and the information did not come from the person he expected.

The student frowned at the large form next to him. "Yeah. That's the name. Thanks for a stunningly memorable night." He turned back to his drink, muttering darkly into his glass. "Now I know how all those girls feel when I do this to them."

Angel sighed and turned his attention to Xander. "Could we talk? I mean about..." He pointed at Parker.

Xander nodded, eyes wide. "Probably a good idea." He glanced at his watch. "I still have an hour to go."

Parker's gaze floated back and forth between Xander and Angel. "Hey, you know, all of us have dark eyes and dark hair."

"Yeah." Angel's eyes did not leave Xander's face. "We do."

~~~

"So. You wanted to talk."

Angel sighed. "Yeah."

Xander turned his attention to his feet. "So did it feel good? I mean, to degrade someone who you apparently decided to pretend was me?"

"It's not like that." The vampire shrugged. "It wasn't degrading."

Xander snorted. "That's not what he said."

"Really. Just what did he find unpleasurable?"

"Angel --"

"No, I really want to know."

Now Xander sighed. "When you called my name out."

The silence hung between them for a long moment. Finally, Angel decided to break it. "Aren't you just a bit curious why he didn't find any other part bad?"

"Well... But --"

"The curse?" Xander nodded. Angel shrugged. "Well, I think last night proved that it takes more than just sleeping with someone." Gently, he rested one hand on Xander's forearm, as if holding the teen in place while delivering this bit of information. "Really, I've been doing some research. It seems that I've developed a bit of a conscience. Well, a different conscience than before. There are all sorts of reasons why guilt will keep my soul in place."

Xander shook his head, moving his arm from Angel's grasp. "Nope, no more sex without caring for me. Been there, done that --"

"Nearly experienced murder from a victim's perspective."

"But you saved me." He frowned. "Why did you do that, anyway?"

"Why? Do you think I shouldn't have?"

"No. We're not exactly friends. We never have been. So why the sudden urge to save my ass? That was the confusing part."

"You *are* my friend." Angel blinked, surprised at his own words. "You know, I never really thought about that before."

"Oh." Now Xander tried to look anywhere but directly at Angel. "So. You and him. Why?"

"Um. Well. That's a good question." Angel sat down on a nearby park bench. "He started talking about Buffy, and things clicked into place."

"Things?"

"Willow told me what he did to Buffy. And he was acting *proud* about it. He acted like he considered it his civic duty to tell me about it. Something snapped. I wanted to humiliate him."

"And so you fucked him while thinking about *me*? Thanks, Angel. Thanks a lot. Now I know what you think of me." He stood and began to stalk away.

"No, Xander." Angel's voice was gentle. "That's not why I thought of you." Xander stopped his movement, turning to observe Angel concentrating on his hands. "He's right about one thing, you know. You and he look a bit alike. More than a bit. When I first glanced at him, I thought he *was* you, but then he didn't start insulting me in the first five seconds, so I knew he wasn't."

Sighing, Xander retraced his steps and took a seat on the bench next to Angel. "And so..."

"And so I ended up ignoring his personality. And I pretended he was you."

"Oh." The two sat in silence for a long moment. Xander's eyes were fixed on his shoes, so he didn't notice Angel inching closer to him. "Angel."

Angel's mouth quirked into a smile at the single word. "Xander."

He turned his head to discover Angel's face inches from his. "You ignored *his* personality?"

The vampire smiled, lifting one hand to trace along Xander's jaw. "Yeah." The hand dropped away, and Angel leaned back against the bench back.

Xander frowned, creasing his brow. "Okay, let's pretend that I'm curious. But I want a little more information."

"Like what?"

The frown deepened. "I'm not sure." Now he sighed. "Would Angelus do this?"

"Yeah." Angel's voice dropped, almost to a whisper. "Definitely."

"And would he torture or kill that person afterwards?"

"Not necessarily." Voice back at its normal volume, Angel covered his face with his hands for a long moment before removing them and continuing. "Sometimes he was more entertained by seducing someone -- convincing them to do something that would normally horrify them. But not just sex. Stealing, gambling, drugs -- whatever feared vice seemed most threatening. And get them to *enjoy* it. And then just return them to their life, remembering how much pleasure they had received from something they had previously believed they hated. And, considering some of the people he... played with, things they were raised to despise no matter what, and then once they went back to their lives, were still supposed to hate, even though they had gotten a taste and discovered that they *enjoyed* the experience. It was a game for him." He lifted his eyes to meet Xander's. "And that's where I got the idea for..."

"Parker."

"Is that his name?" Angel smiled once more. "I didn't pay attention."

"Angel --"

"Xander. Look. I'm sorry. I didn't tell you any of this to hurt you. When he made it clear that he knew Buffy, I knew that, one way or another, you would hear about what happened. Sunnydale's a small town. He didn't seem to realize that you even existed. At least he didn't seem to put your name together with *you*. But I've been thinking about it. A lot. And it seemed like a good idea to talk to you personally. Just in case... Well, just in case he did what he did tonight."

"And that was the only reason."

"Xan --"

"Honesty, Angel. It will get you much farther than you think."

"Honesty."

Xander nodded. "Total and complete would be a pleasant change."

"I guess I hoped you would be intrigued and wonder."

"And take you up on your offer?" Angel cast his eyes to the ground and nodded. "So. Let's say I do. What then?"

Angel's head shot up, and dazed eyes turned to Xander. "What?"

The teen shrugged. "If you can hold on to that guilt..."

"I think... Well, between the fact that you're not the person to whom I pledged neverending devotion, causing guilt because in a way it's cheating on her, and the fact that I'm pretty sure that this is just a phase or an experiment for you --"

"Got it." Xander held up a hand, cutting off Angel's explanation. "I'm not sure this is the time for an examination of Xander's sexual orientation."

"But..."

"But exploration and experimentation would be okay." His lifted his eyes to Angel's. "I'm just not sure I really want to stop and think things over. If I do, I'll probably talk myself out of this."

"Xander..."

"Please. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to do it before I have a chance to change my mind. Isn't that one of the things that will keep that guilt in place? The fact that this hasn't been thoroughly discussed and debated?"

~~~

One thing that needed absolutely no discussion was location. Angel was well aware that no matter how well they were pretending to get along, there was no way Xander would invite the vampire into his living quarters. And, to be honest, Angel was fairly certain that he did not want to be in a room that probably had Buffy's picture on a shelf. So they ended up at Angel's hotel room.

"What? No mansion?"

Angel shook his head. "Memories. And I needed a phone line."

"Oh." Xander sat on the edge of the bed, nervously bouncing his knee. "So I guess we should start now?"

"Xander." Angel sat down next to him, gently holding Xander's knee still. "You need to relax."

"How can I when, you know?"

"Yeah. I know." Now he lifted one hand to Xander's face, running his thumb along the mortal's cheek. "But unless you relax, nothing's going to happen."

Xander frowned. "Nothing?" Angel's gaze held steady. "Please, Angel, I'm just a little nervous here."

The hand on Xander's face moved to the back of his head. "And?"

"And maybe we could work our way up to, well, you know."

Angel noticed that Xander's eyes were transfixed on his mouth. He licked his lips and observed Xander do the same. "Yeah. We could do that." But he remained where he was, hand on Xander's head, mouths inches away.

"Angel..."

"I'm not going to kiss you."

"Angel --"

"*You're* going to kiss *me*." When Xander made no move, Angel sighed and rested his forehead against the teen's. "Look, I need at least one sign that you're not just going to sit there and let me do whatever I want to you."

"At least one?"

Angel closed his eyes. "One will be enough."

They sat there, foreheads against each together, Angel's hand against the back of Xander's head, for a long moment. Then, finally, Xander inhaled quickly and pressed his lips to Angel's. Smiling to himself, Angel opened his mouth, and Xander did the same. Suddenly, Angel felt a hand pressing against his chest.

"Down." Angel obeyed. "I -- I'm sorry. I didn't mean --"

Angel pulled Xander down for another kiss. "Don't apologize. And don't ask. Just go with it." Angel moved his hands to Xander's hips, deliberately shifting his own hips and legs until Xander was forced to straddle him. To Angel's surprise, Xander's hands moved to their pants, first unfastening his own before moving to Angel's.

"Is this okay?"

"Xander, I said --"

"Because I want to take these off, and it's a little cold in here." Not the direction he had expected Xander's line of thinking to lead. Stunned, Angel could only nod. Quickly, Xander removed their pants. Underwear, socks, and shoes went as well. And then he resumed his
straddling position before leaning in and sucking Angel's ear.

The skin-on-skin contact was pleasant. The sensation created when they moved against each other verged on exquisite. The sound of Xander's heavy breathing right in Angel's ear was unbelievable. But there was still something not quite right.

And Xander's hand inching up Angel's abdomen clued him in to the problem. Their shirts.

Suddenly, Xander pulled away. "Huh?" Angel blinked slowly, trying to clear his head.

"Up. I don't want to do this on top of the blankets."

Grinning, Angel obeyed, taking advantage of the pause in action to remove his shirt. By the time his attention had returned to the bed, he found himself blinking again at the sight of Xander, naked and stretched out as if on display.

Xander mistook the silence for shocked distaste. Embarrassed, he grabbed the sheet and began to pull it over his body. "I'm sorry. I thought --"

Angel halted the hand and removed the sheet from Xander's grasp, throwing it back and revealing Xander's body once more. "No. You have nothing to be sorry about. I was just surprised." Now he sat on the edge of the bed, facing Xander. "A good surprise." He traced patterns on Xander's chest. "And now..." His fingers drifted to Xander's ribcage. "Well, I'm just trying to decide what to do next." With a grin, he lowered his face to Xander's stomach and slowly traced a path from navel to neck with his mouth.

"Angel? Would you kiss me again?"

Nodding, Angel rolled them onto their sides, wedging one of his legs between Xander's before returning his lips to Xander's. While Xander was preoccupied sucking and licking his way around Angel's mouth, the vampire reached into the nightstand drawer and removed a small bottle. He dropped the bottle on the bed next to them before moving his hand to Xander's nipple. He was rewarded for the soft stroking and tweaking by a drawn-out moan and hips grinding into his own. Despite Xander's obvious protest, Angel pulled his mouth away from the lips pulling at it. Its new position -- on Xander's other nipple -- made the mortal forget why he had wanted to object to Angel's movement. Smiling to himself once more around the nub, Angel picked the bottle up again and carefully opened it, squeezing a generous amount into the palm of his hand before placing the bottle on the nightstand. "Xander."

"Hmm?"

"Just relax, okay?"

"Hmm."

Angel dragged his fingers through the liquid, carefully making sure they were sufficiently coated. Finally satisfied, he trailed one finger along Xander's crease, gently nudging his way down until he found what he was looking for.

"Ohhh..." Xander's eyes flew open.

"Are you okay?" Angel did not remove the finger. He did, however, slowly twist it.

"Oh, yeah." Xander blinked a few times. "But this isn't too comfortable."

"If you want to stop --"

"No, not that." Xander's gaze drifted up to the pillows at the head of the bed. "I think..."

Angel noticed where Xander's eyes fell. Carefully, he removed his finger. "Ah." He waited for Xander to reposition himself, draped over the pillows, before turning his attention to the smooth expanse of skin stretched out for his consideration. "Okay?" Even though the human couldn't see him, he smiled when Xander nodded. Leaning on one arm, he traced his way down Xander's spine before returning his finger to the now-familiar crease. This time, after his finger slid easily in, he added a second digit, and then a third, gently stretching the tender flesh. To Angel's delight, Xander began rocking his hips against the pile of pillows. With a grin and a deliberate touch of concern in his voice, he asked, "Are you okay there, Xan?"

Panting, Xander nodded. "Just... hurry up."

Still smiling, Angel lowered his mouth to the spot just behind Xander's ear and worried the flesh gently with his tongue and lips. This was not the time to get teeth involved in the equation. With the hand not currently probing inside Xander, Angel grabbed the bottle of lube once more, applying it generously. Closing his eyes and hoping that Xander remained willing and pliable when Angel removed his fingers, he carefully eased himself into Xander's small hole. Instinctively, Xander flexed at the intrusion. But before Angel could even attempt to figure out how to handle the problem aside from removing his mouth from Xander's neck, he heard Xander deliberately regulate his breathing and felt the muscles clenching his cock go lax. And then Xander spoke.

"Okay. You can go now."

"What?" The choice of words disturbed Angel.

"Move." When Angel remained frozen, Xander sighed. "Look, I'm kind of stuck here. These pillows don't give me much room. So it's kind of up to you to..."

"Oh." Angel grinned. "Got it." Wrapping one arm around Xander's torso and placing the other hand on Xander's hip, he followed the order.

~~~

The next morning, just as Angel was finally drifting off to sleep, he heard Xander's voice in the bathroom.

"Hi. Did I wake you up?" Pause. "Good. I... I need to talk. To you." Another pause. "No, I can't talk to her. This is... a guy thing." More silence. "Thanks. See you then."

~~~ the end ~~~