Title: Tears of Chaos

Author: Kate R.

Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to joss. He is the only one who makes Money from them. I just get feedback

Rating PG-13 to NC-17

Pairings: Giles/Ethan

Summary: Xander discovers a shocking secret that Giles has suspected for years but been unable to prove.

Tears of Chaos
by Kate R.

"I have to go now, Ripper," Ethan said after their latest game of 'touch me, touch you'. "It's been real. Thank you."

Ethan turned to step into the alley and to say the transport spell that would take him home and he nearly choked on his tears. It had been such a good game this time. Ripper had felt something while he was beating him into the ground and that was all he really wanted; for the person who hurt him to feel something for him. He sniffed slightly and jumped when Ripper grabbed him again.

"What's wrong mate?" he asked sounding like the Ripper of old.

"Nothing," Ethan said rubbing his eyes fiercely. "I just---I have to go back now and it was so fun this time and I don't want to go but---."

"You could stay longer," Ripper offered.

Ethan shook his head still fighting his tears. "Game's over for now. I have to go. No more fun for me for a while. Thank you though. You made this game such exquisite pleasure. I have to go now Ripper. Thank you again for playing with me."

"Ethan---," Giles began.

Ethan shook his head and stepped away from Giles' reach.

"All right mate, you're welcome. Come play again soon. We can think up a new game eh?"

Ethan nodded then and did the spell, vanishing and leaving Giles looking worried as he stared at the spot.

"Game G-Man?" Xander asked from behind him. "This was just a GAME?!?!"

"Xander, don't," Giles said angrily. "Just---don't. I can't deal with your attitude right now."

"What's wrong?" Xander asked as Giles continued to stare.

"He's never called it exquisite pleasure before," Giles said. "I beat him bloody and he called it exquisite pleasure."

"And?" Xander asked starting to get an idea to why Giles was upset but not fully understanding and hoping he was wrong.

"And what?" Giles asked hotly. "You have alluded to your life being not good. Gods am I the only one who sees how wrong it is for Ethan to think a beating like the one I gave him in anger was exquisite pleasure?"

"Oh," the youth said in a small voice. He started to think about that while he and Giles walked home. Neither saw the dark vampire in the shadows who ahd the same look of horrified comprehension as Giles finally did.

"Oh, shit. Ethan," the dark vampire said as he trailed off and walked into the shadows.

OOOO

As for Ethan, he returned home and was immediately caught by the hands of the footman. "Oh god, please no," he whispered as he was dragged down the steps to his mother's drawing room where his parents were waiting.

"It has returned, mistress," the footman said as Ethan was forced to his knees.

"So we see," Father said as he looked at Ethan with disdain. "Lucas, take That Thing upstairs, get It into Its own rags and get It ready for Its duties. You all have been without It for more than a month."

"Yes sir," Lucas said as he dragged Ethan by the nape of his neck.

The last thing he heard before the door shut were the two words they always used when they sent him to his duties: "Worthless Whore."

He was being tied down. Oh, this was going to be bad. He had to be punished for going to play even though he was allowed to go out when Ripper called for him. Go and play with Rupert, come home and get punished. He just couldn't win.

He felt the presences of the others, the rest of the household staff who used him, coming into the room. Of them all, only the old cook had ever been kind to him. She was the only reason he knew what a cookie tasted like. The only reason he could eat sweets.

He had cried for hours when she finally died last year. He was alone here now. Not one ounce of kindness would be shown him again. Malva had been one who had disagreed with his parents and his grandmother. Ethan whimpered as he felt it begin. Why couldn't he play? What had he done wrong? He tried so hard but no, there was nothing for him.

He was shoved to the floor when they finished, left lying there and he felt tears sliding down his cheeks. He remembered Malva used to come in when they finished and clean him up. Call him Her Poor Little Lamb.

She had claimed him. He was Her child. No one else had ever called him Their child. He was just That Thing or It. He was nothing but a thing.

But to Malva?

Oh, to Malva Ethan was her Child, her Little Lamb.

Ethan felt tears sliding down his cheeks. He missed her. God is hurt. It always hurt but it was worse now. His parents were fighting aging and he was the one who suffered for it.

They still looked to be in their thirties while he looked to be about 40. The magic did nothing to forcefully age him; it just cut him inside. He lie on the floor thinking, wishing he were still playing with Ripper.

"Can I come play with you?" he heard himself asking mentally. "Please?"

/Ethan?!? / Reached him as he felt consciousness slipping away.

/Always, / he heard. /You can always come play with me. /

"Ripper---," his thoughts trailed off as darkness and pain finally claimed him. "Ripper."

2

Giles sat on the plane to England. Xander sat beside him looking as worried as Giles was. He had never seen Giles do what he ahd done 12 hours ago. He shattered a teacup and then walked out of the library, brushing past Buffy and Willow and walking to his car. Xander had followed and they had driven home. Home was Giles' place now. Since his father had thrown him out.

He belonged to Giles now.

They were flying to England, actually about to land. Giles hadn't bothered to pack and he had told Xander he would get him new clothes while they were here. There had been no time to pack. Just enough time to grab passports and then get to the airport and buy tickets.

Now, they were in London and Xander was watching as they deplaned after landing. Giles was angry about something. And worried.

"Rupert!" A voice called. Giles looked up and sighed.

Jonothan was there to get them.

"Is this Xander?"

"Yes," Giles answered.

Jonothan nodded.

"Wesley is still at the compound. I think Xander should go there. I don't think he needs to see what you think you'll see when you go into That Place."

"Agreed. Jonothan, Wesley is to do what Xander wants. That means no one yells at him for what they do. Is that clear?"

"Of course, Rupert. So long as he finishes his assignments before they are due I don't care if he and Xander go out."

"Jonothan, Wesley's only assignment I was told would be Xander. Don't cross me on this."

"Fine, Rupert," Jonothan said as they arrived at the Council HQ.

*

Xander got out while the two men then drove out to the house Rupert knew Ethan was from.
When they arrived, the house looked as cold and uninviting as Giles remembered it. He walked up and banged on the door. As the mate of Ethan's soul, he had the right to take Ethan away from these people.

Ethan's father opened the door, took one look at Rupert and backed off.

"Where is he?" Rupert asked.

Andrew Rayne took one look at Rupert and swallowed. He had no choice but to give Ethan to his mate. Of course Ethan had no idea the day Rupert came for him would be the day he was freed.

"Find him yourself," the man said. "If you really are his mate, you should be able to do that."

Giles nodded and then stalked up the steps. He knew where Ethan was instinctively: The Attic.
The doorway loomed before him and he kicked it hard, knocking it off its hinges. Then he walked up the steps with deliberate purpose. He knew Ethan was up here. He knew he was hurt and scared and alone. Poor Mate was hurt.

Rupert felt Ripper coming out and he did not stop him. He walked into the cold, drafty place where he saw Ethan lying on the center of the floor shivering under a thin blanket. He saw the pile of clothes that ahd been torn to shreds on the floor and he growled. He bought Ethan those clothes. How Dare they take them away from him? Well, no more.

"Wake up, luv, Ripper said as he brushed Ethan's hair off his face. "Ripper is here luv. I'm here."

"R-Ripper?" Ethan said through his shivering.

"Aye," Rupert said as he lifted Ethan into his arms. "We're going now. We'll get you new clothes and this time you ARE staying with me. This is not happening again. You are MINE, Ethan. No one hurts you."

"O-okay," Ethan said softly. He laid his head on Giles' shoulder trying not to cry with relief.

"Hang on just a few more minutes, luv. We'll be out of here in a few minutes."

As soon as he hit the bottom step and saw the household and felt Ethan grip him tighter, he growled and his power flared in his eyes. Everyone got the hell out of his way and Giles joined Jonothan in the car.

Later, Ripper would deal with them. Right now he just wanted to get Ethan out of there.

"Let it out, luv," Giles said as he held his trembling love in his arms. "Come one now, let it out. It's me you're with. Go ahead and cry."

By the time they got to the compound, the shoulder of Giles' shirt was soaked through with Ethan's tears an Ethan had cried himself to sleep.

Giles just held him gently. No more. This would never happen again. He was Ripper's now. And No One hurt those who were Ripper's.

"G-man?" Xander asked coming to the door of the room they were staying in before going out to the Giles estate.

"He'll be fine. Did you get what I asked?"

"Yeah, here. Oh, I like my guide. Wes is pretty nice."

"Yes, despite everything he is a nice boy. Thank you for getting me these for him."

"You're welcome. Wes is coming with us right?"

"Yes he is," Giles answered. "So you have someone to talk to."

"Okay," Xander said as Giles dressed Ethan while he slept.

He then lifted the other man into his arms and carried him out the door and down the steps to where the young bespectacled watcher was waiting.

"F-father has a car w-waiting f-for us," the young man said as he took Giles' shoulder bag, which contained more clothes for Ethan. "E-everything is r-ready at your Estate M-Mr. G-Giles."

"Thank you, Wesley. And Relax. I don't bite you know."

"Y-yes s-sir," the younger man said and Giles shot Jonothan a nasty look as they left. He would be taking Wesley back to the stares with him as well it seemed.

"How do we help him, G-Man?" Xander asked as they drove out to the country Estate.

Giles sighed. "We love him, we care for him, we teach him to play games that do not result in me beating the crap out of him. Xander, Ethan has never been to any of those places you children talk about. He has never played baseball or anything a normal child would have done. He does not know how to play. Really play. So, we will have to teach him. Wesley, do you mind helping?"

"N-not at all sir," the young man said. "I'm honored y-you think I can."

END