TITLE: The Annual Sunnydale Charity Bachelor Auction

AUTHOR: Cath

PAIRING: Xander/Spike (big surprise, huh?)

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Xander is asked to be in an auction, as merchandise. (actually just an excuse to describe sexy Xan)

SPOILERS: Beer Bad Season 4

FEEDBACK: Please!!! I need a FB fix. Think I need an intervention? Nah.

DISCLAIMER: I still want and I still can't have. They belong to Josh and Mutant Enemy. No Money, no infringement, I just wanna play with them for awhile.

THANKS: To tehaunu for beta-ing this for me.

I've been thinking about this story since the idea was brought up in mmslashaholics group. Nothing could come close to being as good as Willie J's wonderful SOLD https://www.squidge.org/~peja/buffyvampslayer/Sold.htm but I wanted to do a more traditional auction story.

The Annual Sunnydale Charity Bachelor Auction
by Cath

Xander was hot, sweaty, and in a bad mood. Nothing was going right. Two men hadn't showed up for work, the supplier had sent the wrong supplies and the concrete truck had been late. What the hell else could go wrong today? He was shaking his head at his own stupidity. Xander knew better than to even think something like that in Sunnydale, it was asking for trouble. The only thing he wanted was a cold bath and a cold beer and not necessarily in that order. Maybe a cold beer while taking a cold bath. Yeah, that sounded good. The tired, sweaty man groaned at the thought.

"Hey, Harris. The boss man wants to see you, pronto."

"Shit, do you know what he wants? I was just fixing to leave for the day." Xander was not happy at the thought of having to stay any longer.

"No idea, he just wants you in the office, now."

Xander pulled off his tool belt and threw it into his open car window. He stopped at the crew water jug long enough to pour a cup over his head. As Xander shook the water off like a big dog, he knew there was no putting it off any longer and headed for the office. Standing outside the door and patting some of the dust off his clothes, he hesitated before knocking on the door. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, "Hey, Mister Boroughs. You wanted to see me about something. If it's about the two men that didn't show, I'm really sorry it happened. I already called them and told them they were fired. This isn't the first time those two have done this, and I warned them the last time. I'll start looking for someone else right away, I don't want to cause any delays or anything."

"Settle down, son. This isn't about that. You do what you think you have to; I trust your judgement when it comes to your crew. You're doing a good job running that crew; it's one of our most productive. I was a little worried about hiring someone as young as you, but you show great responsibility for someone your age. In fact, you're about due a raise. But that isn't what I called you in here about. It's..well..it's this thing my wife is involved in with her charity
work. All the larger businesses are joining in and it would be good publicity for the company. You know most of my employees are married and this requires a single man. I've seen you when you were going out, you clean up nice and well..hell, son, it's a bachelor auction."

"A..a..WHAT!!"

"The Annual Sunnydale Bachelor Charity Auction and well, you've met my Jeannie. She's the chairman this year and is hell bent and determined that I have a bachelor entered. In fact, she's the one that suggested you. I'll pay you for your time and cover the cost of whatever clothes you're gonna need. I know you'll need a tux and some kind of costume thing that signifies your work." He stopped talking and watched Xander hit his head against the desk. "Think of it this way, you'll have a nice date, all paid for, make points with the boss, and make a little money doing it. Come on Xander, it might even be fun."

"If I agree to this, I don't want anyone to know. I have a group of friends, female friends, that I so do not want knowing anything about this..ever." Xander couldn't believe he was even considering this. An auction, a bachelor's auction happening on the hellmouth, just the thought was enough to make him want to run home and hide. "Well, I guess I'm going to be sold. When is this happening anyway?"

"Three weeks from this Friday. Jeannie will get with you about a costume and all the details like when to be there and rehearsals and that kind of stuff."

"Uh, Mister Boroughs, three weeks from Friday, that's..that's Friday the Thirteenth."

"Oh come on now Xander, you don't believe in all that superstitious mumbo jumbo, do you?"

"Nope, no mumbo jumbo for the Xan-man." [[Who fights demons after work, stops apocalypses, knows three vampires on a first name basis..hell, one thinks I'm a nummy treat, ones calls me her dark kitten and the other, well, he mainly thinks I'm an annoyance, so no, no superstitions for Xander.]] "So, I guess I'll be waiting for a call from your wife then." Xander got up and shook his boss's hand and left to go home.

Xander parked in his usual place and headed to his apartment. Nothing was going to stop him from getting his cold bath and colder beer. Nothing but the irritating blonde sprawled across his sofa. "Spike, what in the hell are you doing in my apartment, DRINKING MY BEER?? You better hope that that is not my last one you peroxided menace. I've been dreaming about a cold beer all afternoon."

"Xan-pet, calm down, you have some more beer, well at least one anyway. My telly's on the blink so I decided I may as well crash here while you were at work."

"How did you get in, I know locked the door when I left."

"Xander, 120 year old vampire here. You can't think I wouldn't have learned how to break in to a place in all that time. One of the handier things Angelus taught me. Well, that and how to.."

"DON'T you say it. I do not want to know what ever perverted thing Angelus taught you."

[[Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Xan-pet, like I can't smell the arousal pouring off you.]]

Their argument was interrupted by the telephone ringing. Xander ran and grabbed it before the bleached wonder could. "Hello, yes Mrs. Boroughs, your husband told me to expect your call. Uh huh, yes..listen can you hold on for a minute so I can move to another room?" Xander took the phone and headed to the bedroom. "Yes ma'am, I agreed to do it, if no one finds out. You want me to wear WHAT?"

The raised voice caused Spike's interest in the conversation. [[Whelp's trying to keep something secret. Boy seems to have forgotten about vamp hearing.]] Spike concentrated on what was being said in the other room.

"Yes, I understand, the rehearsal will be on the eleventh and the auction will be on the night of the thirteenth. I need to be at both. Yes, I've got a pencil. The Sunnydale Expo Hall, the back door will be open. Do I need to bring my change of clothes to the rehearsal? Yes, tuxedo and costume both because we'll practice changing. Okay, got that. Do you really think that I should wear that? Yes ma'am, I know you're the bosses wife. Yes ma'am, I know you're the chairperson of the charity auction so you know best. Okay, goodnight." {{Shit, I am so dead. How do I get myself into this stuff? Jeans, cut off short, a wife beater, tight, hardhat, tool belt and work boots. I'm going to look like on of the friggin' Village People.}}

[[Must be something big, the way the whelp's talking to himself. Auction, huh? I need to check this out, may be fun. Something else to tease the boy about.]] "Hey, Harris, I'm out of here. Don't forget to buy more beer." Spike headed out the door.

Xander eased out of his bedroom to make sure the vampire was really gone. He grabbed a beer and headed to the bathroom for his long awaited cold bath. Now all he had to do was avoid the girls for a couple of weeks until this nightmare was over.

For two weeks now Spike had been watching the brunette avoid his friends. The girls evidently had no idea what he was up to. So, time for a little mischief. It was well past dusk when he headed to The Magic Box. Buffy was training; he could hear the grunts coming from the back room. Willow and Tara were looking up something in a huge, very old book. Giles was doing paperwork at the counter.

"Spike, what do you want? Your aren't getting any money from me and I don't have any blood on hand, so go bother someone else." Giles was not in a mood to put up with a snarky vampire.

"Don't need blood and have some dosh. Just stopped in to see if there were any nasties to fight tonight. Where's the whelp? He's always good for some bloodshed."

"Xander has been very busy with work lately and hasn't had much time to patrol. He has a very physically demanding job, you know."

"Oh, I thought with the auction and everything.." [[Perfect Spike, that'll get their attention.]]

Willow looked up from the book she was studying, "What auction, Spike? What do you know?"

"Oh hell, wasn't supposed to say anything to you lot. Just forget I mentioned it. Right, I'm off then."

"FREEZE, mister. What is Xander hiding and what do you know about it? Now, unless you want to be the first vampire frog in existence, you better start talking." Willow was giving him her fiercest `resolve' face.

"Okay, but you can't tell the whelp it was me that told you. His boss asked him to represent his company in this big charity thing. It's some kind of auction. Sounds kinda kinky to me, there going to be auctioning off blokes." [[Perfect performance mate. That got them.]]

"Oh my Goddess, a bachelor auction. Xander's going to be in a bachelor auction. BUFFY GET IN HERE, NOW." Buffy came running from the back room.

"What? Is it a demon? What are you yelling about?" She didn't look pleased at being interrupted.

"Spike just let it slip. Xander HAS been avoiding us on purpose. He's going to be in that big charity auction this weekend. Think we ought to get tickets?"

"Willow?"

"Yes, Giles?"

"I have tickets to it. Most of the businesses in town contribute in some way. I bought a whole table, that's 6 seats. Enough room for all of us. Buffy, you are looking particularly evil, what are you thinking?" The look on her face was making Giles uncomfortable.

"Just thinking about making a phone call. Maybe calling LA."

"THE POOF?" Spike yelled.

"No, Cordelia."

Spike was laughing, "The cheerleader, the witches and the slayer. The boy won't know what hit him."

"We might even bid on him. We can pool our money and make a bigger bid and all share him. He might even appreciate it."

"Oh good lord, what have I done."

"Oh hush, we're not going to hurt him, just surprise him a little." Willow and Buffy were looking excited, Tara was looking a little worried. Spike was looking very pleased with himself. Now, to prepare for the rest of his "little" surprise.

Rehearsal night found Xander in full panic mode. He so did not want to be here. Most of the other men looked like white collar-type professionals. He was going to look like a fool in the outfit his boss's wife wanted him to wear. He was sharing a dressing room with five other victims of this mess, an accountant, a lawyer, an intern from Sunnydale General and two teachers. They all looked cool and put together and made Xander fell totally out of place. At least he had decided not to go with the cutoffs. Instead, he had found a pair of old, worn out jeans. They had been hidden on a shelf in the closet. He had worn them his junior year and he had put on some muscle since then. They fit like another layer of skin with a few well placed rips, one across the knee and one right under one of the front pockets. He was dressed and ready to go. As he walked to the stage, it felt like everyone was staring at him. What he didn't realize was
at least 6 of the bachelors were, and not because they thought he looked stupid. If there had been any vampires in the building, the pheromones floating in the air would have knocked them on their butts.

Xander looked hot, better than hot. When his name was called he straightened his shoulders, shook his head a bit, and then sauntered down the runway. No other word for it, he sauntered, loose hipped and confident, like he had been doing this all his life. The jeans clung to his legs like a layer of paint, cupping his ass just right and outlining the well-developed muscles in his thighs and calves. The white `wife beater' was also well worn and skin tight, the thin material clung to his chest, accenting his pecs and molding to the tight flat stomach. The weight of the leather tool belt made the jeans ride low on his hips. Maybe his time in Oxnard hadn't been a waste; he walked down the stage with confidence. Going out on this stage was easy compared to his first time at the Ladies Night; at least he didn't have to take his clothes off. He did as he had been told, walked to the end of the runway, turned a little to the left, then the same to the right. Then he turned all the way around and looked back over his shoulder at what would be the audience in two days. [[Man, this isn't going to be so bad. Could use a date with a nice, normal female. Someone who didn't know about the other part of my life.]]

Spike stood off in the shadows and just stared at the boy. That couldn't be Xander Harris up on that stage. This man exuded sex and walked like an open invitation that screamed `hurry up and fuck me'. Oh yeah, Friday night was going to be delicious; he couldn't wait. Everything was ready and all his plans were coming together nicely. The boy wouldn't know what hit him.


It was late afternoon, Friday the thirteenth and the atmosphere in Gile's apartment was frenzied. The girls had decided that they would all meet there, to get ready for the auction. Angel, who had come with Cordelia, was sitting on the sofa looking bemused. Giles was hiding in the kitchen, supposedly fixing tea. The level of noise coming from the upstairs was unbelievable. How could 4 young women make such a racket? And the giggling, every time the giggling started, the watcher and the vampire both flinched. The two men had been ready for hours. They could not understand why it was taking the girls so long. They had already been up there for 4 hours. Finally the noise came to an abrupt halt. The men could hear whispers coming from the hallway, as the four young women headed for the stairs. The two men met them at the bottom of the stairs, knowing that at least two of these females would require immediate praise.

"You all look very beautiful. I am very proud of the way you four have matured. You're wonderful young women." Giles was misty-eyed watching the girls he thought of as his own come down the stairs. Cordy, of course, was dressed in the latest style. The evening dress accentuated her many assets. It was strapless and clung to her body, one long tapering column of rich, soft burgundy material that pinched in at the waist and draped lovingly over her hips. It was elegantly simple, not needing any adornment. Willow and Tara had stayed true to their unusual styles. Tara looked like a priestess of Artemis, goddess of the moon. Her floor length dress was midnight blue velvet, the bottom jeweled with stars and moons done in crystals. It was long sleeved and high necked. On the neck she had pinned a small sliver pentacle with a moonstone in the center. If Tara was the evening sky, Willow was the earth. She wore soft velvet pants in a dark green and a blouse of amber satin, over the blouse she wore a short vest of brocade in all the colors of fall forest. The blouse was pinned at the top with a golden broach symbolizing Hecate, a full moon flanked by crescent moons, the full moon was a circle of malachite. Giles remembered when they had given each other the pins; it was their first solstice celebration as a couple. Buffy came down last. It literally took his breath away to see how beautiful the daughter of his heart had become. She wore black, but nothing about is could be called plain. The dress was made of some kind of clingy material, the sleeves long and tight, off the shoulder. The dress was tight until it reached her hips then flared out in a short swirling skirt. Black sheer hose and high strappy black heels completed the outfit. Her only jewelry was a simple gold chain around her neck and golden hoops in her ears. Angel hadn't seen these women dressed like this since their prom. Those were children; these were women, each one confident and beautiful.

"Well, are you two going to just stand there and stare all night or are we leaving?" Buffy had been patient long enough, and was ready to go. Angel offered his arm to Cordelia as Giles did the same for Buffy. Willow and Tara followed with their arms around each other.

"Buffy, I still think we should have told Xander we were attending tonight." He wasn't sure how the boy would react. Xander had evidently gone to some lengths to keep them from finding out what he was doing.

"And just what would be the fun in that?" Cordy was definitely on Buffy's side. This was going to be fun. The group split up in to two cars and headed for the Expo Hall.

Backstage was a zoo. Xander was actually relaxed and calm. He sat back and watched the other victims rushing around and running into each other.

The accountant stopped in front of him, "Harris, aren't you nervous? I'm about to jump out of my skin."

"Nope, calm and cool. No problems. In fact I think I am going to go check out the crowd." Xander left their communal dressing room and headed for the stage. He joined some others that were peeking around the edges of the curtains. [[Damn, big crowd, I didn't think it was such a big deal. There's the boss and a couple of our suppliers. Lookie, there's Deadb..oh shit. WHAT IN THE HELL IS DEADBOY DOING HERE?? I gotta get outta he..no, the boss's wife'll kill me if I leave. Oh fuck, there's Cordy and..and I'm so dead. How could they have found out?]] Xander slunk back to the dressing room and stood in a corner, mumbling and hitting his head against the wall.

"Harris, what's wrong with you."

"People, people who weren't supposed to be here, Buffy and Giles and nobody was supposed to know about this. Cordy's out there, my first fucking girlfriend, with my two high school crushes an..and Deadboy. Shit, I am so dead. They weren't supposed to know about this. Th.th..the..they.."

"Roberts, you still have that hip flask with you? I think Harris need a little liquid courage." The lawyer handed him the flask. Xander took a big swallow and gasped loudly. It burned like hell, all the way down and turned to lava when it hit his empty stomach.

"Oh shit, what is this stuff?" Taking another swallow from the flask.

"You don't really want to know. But it'll sure as hell take care of your nerves. It's just something my dad brews up. It loosens your inhibitions a little."

"Your dad? You don't happen to have an Uncle Jack that works at the campus Tavern, do you? Oh shit, you do. Tell me your dad's not a warlock, please."

Roberts looks around to make sure the others aren't listening, "Yeah, what of it?"

"Beer, bad beer." Xander took another pull from the flask and Roberts reached over and took it away from him. "Your dad's beer turned people into cavemen..women..persons, whatever. Beer bad, but this is good, more?" Xander's eyes were looking a little glassy. "Your dad turned my friend into Buffy the caveslayer. Oops, forget that, shouldn't `ve said that. Is it my turn yet?" Roberts wasn't too sure about leaving the man by himself, but his name was being called.

Xander stood up and looked around for the rest of his costume. He grabbed the heavy tool belt, put it on and wiggled his hips till it settled, the weight causing his jeans to ride low on his hips. He left the dressing room and headed for the stage. His boss's wife saw him and rushed over to him.

"Xander, are you ready to go? I thought we agreed on cutoffs."

"Umm, nope. Like these, they fit good. Who used to be the stripper here anyway? Oh, that would be me." He giggled.

"Xander, have you been drinking? Stripper?"

"Just a couple of sips, to settle the nerves. I'm fine, really. I was a stripper in Oxnard one summer. Broke down and needed to money for repairs. Shhhh, that's supposed to be a secret, you can't tell anyone." Jeanie Boroughs eyes became huge. Now she knew where she had recognized this man from. Her sister-in-law had her bachelorette party at the Fabulous Ladies Club in Oxnard. Xander had been one of the performers. She began to grin slyly. She had chosen well. Let Mayor Tilley's wife brag about her entrant in the auction. Nobody was going to bring in the money like her choice.

"You just stand right here, it's almost time for you to go on. I know you'll do Gerry and me proud." He was waiting patiently, sipping on a cup of water when one of the other bachelors bumped into the glass, saturating his shirt with the cold water. [[Oh man what else could go wrong?]]

When the stage manager called Xander's name, he shook his head and hips, settling his tool belt and strutted out on stage. The announcer had stated his name, his occupation and where he worked, and then he was on his own. The music he had chosen was pumping through the sound system, bass bouncing off the walls. You would have thought he was back at the strip club. His whole body was moving with the music. When the water hit the white shirt it had become translucent and clung to every inch of his chest and stomach. The jeans were so tight they molded to his muscles. So snug you could see the muscles moving and shifting as he strutted on the stage.

The group at The Magic Box table was speechless. The man on that stage couldn't be their Xander. This man moved like a panther, strutting and swinging around, making sure to show his body to its best advantage. The crowd was getting louder as the women started to whistle and shout.

Cordy, having no decorum, was the first on her feet, yelling, " Hell yeah, go Xan, shake that thing." She let out a whistle that could have shattered eardrums. That's all it took to get the other three women on their feet, yelling, clapping and whistling. Buffy stood up on a chair to cheer Xander on. Giles and Angel were having little success trying to get the girls to sit down and finally just gave up. Xander faced their way and gave them a full body shimmy, then danced off the stage. Cordy was stilling whistling. No one had noticed the blonde standing under the exit sign to the right of the stage, mesmerized by the man on stage.

"Girls, that was really just..to..too much. You have more than likely mortified Xander with that display." Giles was wishing he had just given them the tickets and stayed home.

"Oh, lighten up. Angel, how much money did you bring? If we pool our money we could probably win him. My God, can you believe that was Xander, our Xander!!!" All four women started pulling money out of their evening bags, and laying it out on the table. Angel, looking resigned, pulled out his wallet and handed Cordy three hundred dollars.

"That is all you're getting from me so just get that look off your face, Cordelia. I am not paying for you buy Xander Harris." Angel looked pained at just the idea.

The four were still counting money when it was announced that it was time for the Tuxedo portion of the show. This was the actual auction. As each man walked the stage showing off his evening wear, the bidding began. When the bidding ended for the man currently on the stage, the winner would come up and escort the lucky bachelor off, then they would be off on their date. The bidding was spirited and fun. There was a lot of cat calling and whistling as each bachelor was purchased and escorted off the stage. So far the most spent on one bachelor was $800.00, and that was from a group of nurses, bidding on the intern that had shared a dressing room with Xander. After the response to Xander's performance, the line up was changed so that he came on last. Finally it was Xander's turn on the stage
and luckily it had been enough time for the effects of the drink to wear off somewhat.

As with each preceding bachelor, the stage lights dimmed and the spotlight hit the spot the where the next man was standing. The light hit Xander and his friends were once again shocked at his appearance. Xander's tux was obviously tailored just for him. The classic black tux jacket accented the shoulders, broad from working construction. It tapered in, showing off his trim waist. He had forgone the usual cummerbund or vest and had opted for a white silk shirt with a black placket going up the front; the collar was a wing tip with edges of black. There was a blood red stone at the neck. When he turned, the audience could see another blood red stone, in his right ear, something else left over from his Oxnard days. This time, he was going for sophisticated and succeeding. The black hair was slicked back on the sides and allowed to wave on top. The bidding started with $100.00 and was soon a battle as to who could bid the
fastest. The four friends were countering each offer with a higher one, determined that no one else would win `their' Xander. The bidding was still going strong at $1500.00. Cordelia took it upon herself to go for broke and yelled out $2500.00, the maximum they could bid. The girls were excited, high fiving each other and squealing. They were sure no one would bid more than that. It looked like they were going to win when a soft voice from the back said, "$10,000 for the Kitten." Angel sniffed the air and growled. It was his childe.

Buffy pulled a stake from her bag but Giles grabbed her arm hissing, "Buffy, not in here. We'll follow them as they leave.

"Angel, why would Drusilla buy Xander, she doesn't even like him." Willow was confused.

Cordy wasn't so nice, "ANGEL GO GET THAT CRAZY BITCH, NOW! She does not leave with our Xander!"

"Willow, why do you think she calls him her `Dark Kitten', because she `likes' him. She has always had a weakness for Xander. And Cordelia, I can't go grab her now without making a scene. I don't understand this. This isn't the way she usually does things." As they spoke, a slim figure in a blood red dress and cloak drifted to the stage where Xander was standing, gawking. [[Oh, shit, Angel crazy kid just bought me. Now what in the hell do I do? Shit, no stake, no holy water. Damn Xander, you know better than that.]]

Drusilla floated over to Xander and ran a cool finger down his cheek, "Are you ready to go, Kitten? Miss Edith and I have a lovely surprise for you. This has been a fun game. Buying the pretty boy from the nasty slayer and her friends."

"Uh, Dru that's nice, but you know, no biting. It's a rule."

"No, mustn't bite the pretty Kitten, not even a little taste. I'll be good Kitten, I promised." Xander follow her off the stage where Mrs. Boroughs waited to congratulate him. This had turned out to be the best auction ever. Drusilla growled lowly when Jeanie Boroughs hugged Xander.

"My Dark Kitten, he comes with me now."

"It's okay Dru, this is my boss's wife. We'll go now. Right this way." He tried to lead her to the door they were supposed to use.

"No, we have to go this way. Your surprise is out the other door. The one the nasty slayer isn't at. The stars sang a song to me about how important tonight was. But can't have a taste, mustn't, Miss Edith said.

"Well, yay Miss Edith." Xander followed her out the door to where a long, black limousine was waiting.

"I have to leave now, Kitten. You have to get in the pretty car, someone is waiting for my Dark Kitten." Dru kissed him on the check and walked away. The driver opened to limo door and stood there, waiting for Xander to get in. Not really seeing any other option other than screaming like a little girl, Xander got in the car.

"SPIKE!! Who, I mean, why..you..Dru..but..how..I'm confused. Why did Dru buy me and why are you in the car?" Spike leaned over and handed Xander a flute of champagne, scooting over a little closer to him.

"She did what I asked her to. I knew you wouldn't want me to get up in public and bid on you. Why? Because I decided it was time to quit dancin' around each other. You can deny all you want to Xan-pet, but the pheromones that pour off you whenever I get near you don't lie. It's time to do something about it."

" Like what?" In answer, Spike leaned over and kissed him, hard. Xander jerked back, looked at the vampire then dove back for another kiss. He sighed as the cool tongue licked between his lips, asking to be let in. Xander opened his mouth and Spike plunged in, rubbing his tongue along Xander's then sucking gently. They stayed that way for as long as Xander could stand it, tongues dueling, mapping the insides of each other's mouth. Xander ran his tongue over Spikes top teeth as if searching for something, something that wasn't there. Spike let his human guise slip, his fangs elongating. Xander whimpered, then gently rubbed his tongue against the razor sharp teeth. He gently sucked on one causing Spike to arch up, yelling his name.

"Like that did you?" Xander's mouth was swollen and red from the prolonged kiss and all Spike could think of was where else he'd like to see those lush red lips. "You ever done it in a limo?"

"Can't say that I have. Have you, pet?"

"Nope. Wanna be my first?"

"No love, want to be you're only."

END