Title: The Precipice

Author: CaliaDragon

Fandom: Buffy/Angel

Category: AU, pre-slash

Series: Healing Xander

Spoilers: Seeing Red

Pairing: None now, but future Dru/Angel/Xander

Warnings: High Angst and Character Death

AN: This is an AU, Xander and Anya broke up before the wedding, but she still became a vengeance demon again. Spike has never loved Buffy, but he does care for her and all of the Scoobies. He is however still protective of Dawn. He also never went to get a soul and the whole bathroom scene never happened.

Feedback: On list or at caliadragon@myself.com

Archive: Any list I send it to, those with prior permission, also at http://www.brain-insane.com/beyondcanon

Thanks to Edi for the beta.

Disclaimer: Sadly they are not mine or Tara would never have died and Doyle would be alive in more than just this fic.

Summary: Tara's death causes unforeseen consequences and grief.

Rating: R




The Precipice
By CaliaDragon

Xander stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down at nothing and everything. His eyes shone with pain and despair, and tears fell down his pale cheeks. The young man didn't notice the bright sunlight or feel the crisp, clean air that blew against his unmoving body. Nearby, a half raised statue tilted haphazardly out of the ground. The normally green grass was ripped to pieces, dark soil spilled all about. It looked as though the earth were bleeding. Xander felt as though he were bleeding from more than just the wounds on his body. Looking down at the water beating against the cliff Xander took a incautious step forward.

He couldn't understand how this had happened. One minute she was weeping out her grief and the next she was running away from him. He tried to reach her, tried to stop her, but he had failed. Below him, broken on the rocks, lay the shattered, limp body of his best friend and the only woman in the world that he had ever truly loved. Willow was dead, Willow was dead. The sentence echoed in his head, but he couldn't make heads nor tails of it. It couldn't be true, but the evidence was in vivid detail in front of his eyes.

It was Buffy who found him an hour later; he was still standing in the same place. "Xander?" she called. Xander didn't move. She walked over to him and tried to get his attention. Finally, she looked down, trying to figure out what he was seeing. A strangled scream tore from her as she saw what held Xander's attention. She sank to her knees, sobbing, shaking her head in denial.

"I tried to stop her, I tried. She jumped, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispered.

Buffy took a shuddering breath and with another sob, stood slowly, going to Xander. She turned him away; having to use her strength to turn him from the sight of Willow's broken body. She screamed for Anya.

Anya looked up from her place by Spike, Dawn and Giles' side. "Buffy's calling me. I'll be right back." The other two nodded and watched as the demoness disappeared.

When she reappeared she looked around in confusion, wondering where Willow was. "Anya, I need you to go to the base of the cliff and get Willow's bo…body. She killed herself."

Anya paled and looked over at Xander. He wasn't aware of anything around him and Anya could tell that he was going into shock. She may have still been angry with him over breaking things off with her last month, but even she wouldn't have wished this on him. Anya was afraid that Willow's death might lead to Xander's. She shared one last, worried look with Buffy before disappearing to retrieve Willow's body.

By the time they reached the Summers' house, Xander was nearly catatonic. Buffy was terrified, sad and lost. How could all of this have happened? When they walked into the house, Giles, Dawn and Spike looked up in hope. What they saw stunned them. "Spike, I need your help," Buffy said quickly. The blond vampire was instantly on his feet and across the room, helping Buffy with Xander.

Anya appeared as they were settling the distraught young man onto the couch. "Where's Willow?" Dawn asked in a small voice. She wasn't the only one to shiver with dread when Xander suddenly started to keen and rock himself.

"My fault…..didn't save her. My fault, my fault, my fault." Xander keened over and over. Buffy was crying again and even Anya was weeping.

"Willow killed herself. I've placed her with Tara. The funeral director will only remember that there were supposed to be two women buried together," Anya whispered, unable to talk any louder. Dawn and Giles began to cry, while Spike could only look on in shock and horror.

*

It rained; great buckets of rain poured down on them. Xander thought it was fitting that the heavens wept for the loss of his Willow and Tara. Tara was his, his sister and his friend. It wasn't fair that he'd lost them both, but nothing in this damned place was fair. Xander had stopped expecting fair a long time ago, but God, this was too much. He wanted to scream, to cry, but most of all he wanted to die. He needed to do something. To beat something, to kill, but he didn't because it would do no good. It wouldn't bring back the two women he loved; it wouldn't reverse the last year of his life. Nothing would, nothing but a wish and a demon to grant it.

Xander wanted desperately to make that wish, but again he didn't. Not because it was wrong, but because he was pretty sure that it wouldn't be answered. He was pretty sure that all vengeance demons would have been ordered not to answer any wish of the man who had hurt D'Hoffryn's favored demon. He wanted Willow back, he wanted Tara back, he wanted Joyce back and God help him he wanted it so badly that he was willing to die for it.

Xander hadn't said a word since he had fallen asleep on the Summers' couch th e day that Willow and Tara died. He hadn't spoken to anyone and wasn't sure he ever would again. Buffy, Dawn and Giles were beside him. While Anya and Spike stood between the two groups.

Willow and Tara were buried side by side. No one had come from Willow or Tara's birth families and Xander was glad of it. They hadn't really cared about the two women. Everyone who cared was there; Xander guessed that that was all that mattered. If anything mattered anymore. The priestess spoke solemn words over their graves and spoke of a higher destiny for all things. Xander wanted to tell her to shut up, but he didn't. Instead he wept along with the heavens over the loss of the two brightest lights the world had ever known.

*

Angel looked up from his book when the doors to the hotel opened. He stiffened and growled slightly when he smelled Spike coming through the door with Xander Harris and Dawn Summers. Two of the biggest annoyances in his life, both here. That could only mean one thing, trouble. Angel looked over to Oz and saw that he had smelled them as well. Oz just shrugged, and turned to tell Cordelia and the others who was there. Cordy and Wes both sighed in frustration, but said nothing.

The sight that greeted them when the three walked through the door stunned them. Xander was being led along by both Dawn and Spike and looked as though a strong wind would blow him over. "Xander, what the hell are you playing at? If you're looking for sympathy or playing a game you can just forget it, loser boy," Cordy snapped.

"Shut the fuck up, Cordelia!" Dawn bellowed, shocking all of them. Spike sneered at the cheerleader and his eyes shifted to gold.

"What the hell is going on? Why are you here, Spike?" Angel asked, before Cordy could regain her composure.

"There's trouble in Sunnydale and we were sent to get some book from you. Xander's with us, 'cause he can't be left alone," Spike told him, still glaring darkly at Cordelia.

When Dawn spotted Oz she flinched and looked over at Spike. The vampire just shook his head; he had no idea how to tell the werewolf that Willow was dead. "Why can't Xander be left alone?" Faith asked as she walked out of the training room with Gunn on her heels. They had heard the shouting and had come to investigate.

Tears welled up in Dawn's eyes, unable to answer, Spike did it for her. "He keeps trying to kill himself if we leave him alone."

"Where's Willow? Xander wouldn't kill himself if she were around. Go get her and tell her Xander needs her," Cordy demanded imperiously.

"We can't. She and Tara died last week," Dawn answered roughly.

"What?" Oz asked in a broken voice.

"She killed herself after Tara was murdered by a stupid idiot, but not before she flayed the idiot alive and absorbed all of the magic in every book that Giles owned. Xander stopped her from destroying the world, but she threw herself off a cliff wh ile he was helpless to do anything but watch. Now all he wants to do is die. Xander hasn't spoken a word since that day," Dawn told them through her tears.

No one could say anything. What could they say? It was a shock to hear that Willow had done this, and that she was dead. Angel felt sorrow fill him. Like everyone in the room, Cordelia included, he had cared deeply for the red-haired witch. He turned his attention back to Xander and saw the boy looking at him. Angel shivered at the look in those dark eyes. They held the same pain and the beginnings of the madness that had claimed Dru right before he turned her.

Angel stood and walked towards the boy. He shivered again with dread at the sly contemplation that entered the boy's eyes. "I lied to Buffy and told her Willow said kick his ass. I did it because I was jealous. I knew that Willow was going to do the spell and I didn't care that you would go to hell," Xander suddenly said, shocking everyone in the room. Cord y paled and so did everyone who knew the vampire. His time in hell was a subject no one brought up; it was always enough to anger the vampire.

Angel's eyes bled to amber and he stalked over to the boy. Dawn and Spike tried to stop him, but he shoved them aside. "Do you really want to die, boy?" Angel asked menacing, thinking he could scare Xander into denying his want of death.

He was shaken to his core when Xander tilted his head to the side and said simply, "Please?"

Behind him he heard a choked sob and couldn't stop himself from pulling the boy tightly into a hug. Xander, realizing what he was offering, sympathy, but not death, tried to struggle free. Angel simply kept him in his arms and crooned to him. Xander pounded on Angel's chest, screaming in helpless frustration, before finally falling weakly against Angel and holding onto him, sobs ripping from his chest.

Through the wrenching sobs, Angel simply held Xander in his arms. Finally Xander sa nk into a deep sleep. Angel lifted the boy into his arms and turned to face the others. He wasn't surprised to see Dawn being held by Spike. "Spike, I'm going to give you whatever book it is you need for Sunnydale, but Xander is staying with me."

They all looked at him in shock. Dawn, however, straightened away from Spike and walked over to him. "If you hurt Xander in any way I will know it and I will send you to hell again."

No one doubted that the young girl meant just what she said. Angel merely nodded in agreement. Angel had no idea what it was that made him act this way. All he knew was that Angelus had begun to scream and fight at the bars of his cage. Howling out his rage and grief over the thought of his beautiful boy seeking a permanent death. The demon wanted the fighting spirit that never backed down. Not the broken child in front of him.

"I will not harm him, but I will not let him die. Even if I have to chain him up until he obeys me and lives," Angel said with more than a little of Angelus' arrogance showing in his words.

Spike looked at him sharply. "Take care of my boy, Angelus," he said sub-vocally, knowing only the werewolf and the elder vampire would hear him.

Angel nodded and carried Xander up to his quarters to sleep. "Tell Wes what you need to take back to Sunnydale," Angel ordered as he walked up the stairs.

*

Dru stood looking up at the building that housed her Kitten. She knew that her Angel was watching out for the Kitten, but the stars had told her that her Daddy would fail. The Kitten was broken and needed someone to take care of. The stars told her that she needed someone to care for her. While Dru felt she could care for herself, the stars had persuaded her to go to her Kitten. If he had her to care for the Kitten wouldn't go away. Dru walked around the side of the hotel and into the building. Her eyes shifted to amber as she heard her Spikey, and a slow, secret smile cross ed her face. The stars sung of a special destiny for her lovely boy. A destiny that included the Slayer's Key and the love only her baby was capable of.

She walked up the side stairwell and up to her Angel's room. There, on the bed, lay her Kitten. Dru made her way over to the bed and settled at his side. Crooning gently to him when he began to whimper in distress. Xander instinctively rolled closer to her and settled an arm around her waist.

This was how Angel, Spike and the others found them when they rushed up the stairs a few minutes later. Spike and Angel had both panicked when they felt Dru's presence in the hotel. Both men remembered how she had kept Angelus from hurting the boy when he come back insane and ready to maim in Sunnydale. Of all of the Scoobies the only ones that Angelus had not menaced were Dawn and Xander himself. That was due to Dru and her stars.

What they saw stunned them, Xander was lying spooned against the insane vampire, and Dru was stroking a hand through his hair gently. She smiled sweetly at them and hummed softly. "Hello my Angel, Spikey. I've come to live with my Kitten. The stars say he has to care for me now. They say it is the only way to keep the Kitten from following the burning tree and the light child."

Spike looked at her in shocked silence, Dawn however walked further into the room before the others could stop her. Dru didn't scare her the way that she scared the others. Dawn only had good memories of all the vampires, Dru included. If she was here to protect her Xander, then she was going to trust her to protect him.

The two females shared a look before Dawn climbed up onto the bed and lay down beside them, cuddling up on the other side of the vampiress. Angel just shook his head in disbelief and snorted out a laugh at Cordy's words. "Nuts. They're both nuts." Cordy turn ed on her heel and walked away, leaving Faith, Gunn, the two vampires, Oz and Doyle to watch the pair.

Faith snickered, "Xan-toy always had a way of attracting dangerous and homicidal protection. Why should now be any different? Besides, Dawn has always loved you vampires." Faith then turned on her heel and made her way down the stairs after Cordy.

Angel sighed and wondered what he had done to deserve getting Xander Harris and his Childe all in one night.


The End For Now