Title: The Seeing of Revenge and Forgiveness

Author: Shara Nesu

Feedback: Shara-Nesu@supanet.com. I wrote this directly after the end of Forgiving, and actually it's one of my favouriate stories - what do you think?

Disclaimer: Joss & TV company owns them all! Anyone know any good spells to bring them to life? Then they can go kill Joss - Yay!

Spoilers: Happens directly after BTVS 6: Seeing Red & Angel 3: Forgiving.

Category/Pairings: Spike/Angel.

Rating: NC17 Warning: M&M sex

Distribution: Want, Have, Take.

Summery: Sunnydale: Spike has a plan to take revenge on Buffy for rejecting him. LA: Angel has a plan to make his so called *friends* - Wesley & Co, Suffer for betraying him. Somewhere in the middle they met, and things take an expected twist.

Archived: Shara's place: http://www.shara-nesu.supanet.com/index.html

Spike’s POV: Seeing Red.

I know now what I have to do. I’m going to change Buffy’s mind. I’ll find a way where she will accept me, like it or not. I don’t care what it takes. She makes me feel - something that only two other people ever did for me. They all left me. Well, this time I’m taking matters into my own hands. This time it’s going to be different. I’m leaving Sunnydale. I’ve packed my stuff, and I have a destination in mind. Oh, yeah... things will really start to change then. For me - they’ll change for the better. For everyone else - well, we’ll just have to wait and see.

I pause just before the Sunnydale lights lose themselves into the myriad false stars across the landscape. I‘m not leaving for good - I’ll be back. I look over my home of the last few years, taking one last drag of my fag, before flicking it onto the asphalt.

"Get nice and comfy Slayer. I'll be back. And when I am... it's all gonna change." I grin, and for the first time I really feel like my old self. Yeah, the big bad is back in business. I rev the bike’s engine and pop it into gear. Without looking back, I speed away from Sunnydale, towards my salvation.

L.A. and a certain law firm called Wolfram and Hart.

Angel’s POV: Forgiving

"You took my son. YOU TOOK MY SON!" I screech, as the humans pull me away from the traitor that destroyed my life. He took the only thing that meant anything to me. My son was the only person who’s ever really been mine. Darla never was. Buffy certainly wasn’t. Cordelia never will be. Connor was, and they took him from me. Wesley took him!

I fight and rage against these people who would deny me my revenge. They want me to forgive him. Forgive him!? He took my son! Where does forgiveness come anywhere into that? He took my reason for living. He robbed me off my salvation, my redemption, and my shanshu. That child was my forgiveness and he stole it from me. Forever!

The nurses, Gunn, Fred and an orderly drag me away from my nemesis. They pull me away from my salvation. I want him dead and only then can I follow Connor into oblivion. But they won’t even give me that freedom.

They want me to forgive!

"I'll never forgive you, never... I'LL KILL YOU!!" I scream, as they drag me out of Wesley’s room, thus saving his life. Fred is screaming and crying. What the hell does she know? He took *MY* son.

"You're a dead man. YOU HEAR ME!! DEAD!"

Just as I am dead. Dead inside. Dead outside. Dead in my heart. My last remnant of humanity died with my child.

DEAD... DEAD... DEAD...

Spike’s POV:

Oh... Yeah! Here I stand before Wolfram and Hart. The answer to all my problems. My salvation. Yep, they are sure going to want to take this chip outta my head. I mean they wanted Angelus, didn’t they? They sure as hell won’t be saying no to the other half of the scourge of Europe - William the Bloody - aka Spike - aka me! This is my ticket out of stupid human emotions. They take the bloody chip out and I’m back to being bad. I’m me again. I puff up my chest and walk confidently into the front lobby... what the fuck?

As soon as I enter Wolfram and Hart, two dozen-security guards with huge wooden stakes and tazers surround me. Ah, guess they have their own security. After I explain who I am - bastards had no idea; surely they are just pulling my leg - they speak to someone in charge. Everyone knows about the Scourge of Europe - Darla, Angelus, Drusilla and Spike, don’t they?

Half an hour later, I’m brought before a tall, dark haired woman. Immediately she gives off unscrupulous vibes. Real bitch that one. I like her already.

"So, you’re William the Bloody, also known as Spike," she comments, while giving me a luscious grin.

"Yep, also known as the other part of the Scourge of Europe, thank you very much," I grin, morphing into vamp face. Bint doesn’t even bat an eyelid.

"Ah yes, so you told us." She leans over her desk and picks up a large file. "Currently, we believe that you are totally... shall we say, unable to perform as a vampire. You managed to get yourself chipped by those impotent solider boys once called The Initiative. In other words," she grins, and casually bares her throat, "you are of no use to anyone, including us."

I snarl and bare my fangs at her. "Yeah, that’s why I’m here. You helped Drusilla my Sire, and now you can help me. Of course, I expect to pay for it."

"Oh, wait..." she laughs. "You want us to remove the chip? What do you think you can give us?"

"The Slayer?" I sneer.

"Uhm... interesting... but no, I’m afraid it’s not good enough," she laughs. She settles herself into her chair, and plays with a disk.

"What else?"

"What do you mean?" I ask confused. Surely the Slayer, a great force for good, would be a great asset to them. They do want to stop Angel don’t they; surely stopping the slayer too would... Hold on. Ohhh... no! No way!

"You say that Drusilla is your Sire," she comments, turning the small disc over in her hands. "Now, if you could amend that to the truth then maybe we can do business."

I stand up, lean over the desk, and snarl at her. "No! No way. I’m not getting involved with him ever again. He’s not my Sire. He’s..."

"Give us Angel and we take the chip out," she interrupts, smiling sweetly.

I pause a moment and sit back down again. "I give you Angel and you get rid of the chip, forever." I confirm. "Why Angel?"

"Ah, Angel," she repeats wistfully, "well, it’s not really Angel we want. It’s Angelus we want."

"Angelus! That bastard! You do know he’s completely batty, don’t you?"

"Angelus is a key player in the upcoming apocalypse. He..."

"Yeah, Yeah. I’ve heard it all before. That’s not my concern. The trouble is... how the hell do you expect me to bring you Angelus? We hate each other!"

The tall lady leans back, and flicks her hair into place. "Now we both know that wasn’t always true. This little disc holds poetry, written by a certain William the Bloody to his beloved Sire, Angelus."

Oh shit! They can’t have that. I was sure I burned it. Oh bloody hell! This is *so* embarrassing.

"It sounds like you and your *Sire* Angelus, had quite the torrid romance. I’m sure you can find a way to rekindle that fire, Hmm?"

Great! They want me to seduce Angel and bring back Angelus. What is the probability of that? Easy - none! Angel hates me. Angelus can’t stand me. Damn it! But what bloody choice do I have? Go back to Sunnydale and beg the Slayers’ forgiveness. Be the properly little whipped vampire, that she can lead around on her little leash! I’m not Angel!

"Fine! I bring you Angel and you take the chip out, deal?"

"Deal," she confirms. She holds her hand out and hands me a card. The name says: Lilah Morgan. "When you have completed your mission, return here with Angelus and we’ll take the chip out."

"Fine," I mumble again, taking the card and shoving it into my pocket.

The guards lead me out of the office and down to the basement of the building. There I’m shoved out into the sewers with little ceremony. Just bloody great! All my life Angelus gets thrown in my face one way or another. I was never good enough for him, and now all I’m good for is bait so Wolfram and Hart can reel him in.

Blast it to hell - my life sucks!

Angel’s POV:

Bugger it - my life sucks!

These American bars are nothing like the pubs and taverns back home. I used to love those warm, comfortable places. No blaring music, no stupid cocktails. It was just ale, mead and later on Guinness and Carling Black label. Even women were few and far between. You had the voluptuous bar maid - but any women with class were never seen in a pub. The English pub was a perfect place to get plastered, which is what I’m attempting to do now. Except I keep getting interrupted. If its not women, it’s men trying to make a pass at me - asking me to dance or buy me an alcoholic lemonade. Whatever they are supposed to be. I send them all away and hide myself in the deepest, darkest corner of the bar.

Here I can watch humanity pass by. Watch these little humans scurrying about their daily business. Working, loving, growing old, having children... Sometimes I wonder if he would have been like these humans one day. Connor was fully human. He would have gone to school, had friends...

Fuck it! Connor’s dead and gone, and he’s never coming back! Fucking humans took him from me. They deserve to die, and what do I get? ‘Angel - Wesley needs for your forgiveness.’ What about what I need? It’s my life that’s been destroyed because Wesley listened to one measly word. *Kill* The father shall *kill* the son. Did he really believe that I - Angel - a soul, who fought for good, that tried to make amends, would kill my redemption? I know I made mistakes last year, but I’ve made up for them. Or so I thought. But they will never trust me. They laugh at my pain. Take Buffy. When I went to see her and tell her that I still loved her, but nothing’s changed between us - that we couldn’t be together - what did I come back to? Their laughter and their scorn. I ignored that. Ignored so many little things that cut me to the core. They are just human; I though, they are fallible like me. Things will get better. They never did.

Now, all I want is an end to my suffering. I want Wesley dead, my son back and an end to the pain inside. I’ll never get those things. Never!

"More Guinness!" I shout at the bartender. Moments later, two more pints appear on the table and I throw down a hundred dollar bill. "Keep them coming," I tell him.

"Well, well, well," a voice speaks from before me.

I can’t be bothered to look up and I wave the person away. "Fuck off!"

"Now, that’s a word that doesn’t usually pass your saintly lips. Wherever did you learn such language, Peaches?" the voice laughs, in an English accent.

"Here’s another word: Piss off!" I finish off my pint of Guinness and start on the next.

"You know, Peaches," Spike says sitting down next to me. "You are a hard man to find... No, scrub that. I only had to follow the Irish stink of Guinness and here you are."

"Fuck off Spike, before I have to kill you," I slur, drinking down my second pint. I signal the bartender and he prepares more.

"Yeah, I’d like to see you try, pet," Spike laughs, lightening up a cigarette. He orders a drink, and moments later my two Guinness appear with his lager.

"I could kill you in..." I give up. I pick up a new pint of Guinness and start drinking again. Tears blur my vision and I wipe them away with an angry hand.

"You know I went over to that hotel you’re living in now. Pretty gruesome place. I just bet Angelus had some say in picking that place. Well, anyway... while there, I come across these two humans. A black chap and mousy looking girl. They thought I was a client," Spike laughs and takes another drink. "I saw the pentagram on the floor, pet. Pretty heavy magic you were casting there."

"Spike, Piss off and leave me alone. Go back to bothering, Buffy!" I finish the pint and reach for my next. My hand misses the glass and I lean drunkenly over the table.

"Whoa, just how many have you had?" asks Spike, while pushing me up into a sitting position.

"Not enough," I answer, this time my hand connects with the glass, and I bring it to my lips. "It will never be enough."

"What happened?" asks Spike.

For the first time I really notice him. His question was not full of anger, or sarcasm, it actually sounded... concerned? A question that a friend might ask you, not your mortal enemy. Once we were comrades, hunting partners, lovers... I don’t think we were ever friends. Even our partnership died with the last re-mergence of Angelus. Angelus... It’s strange that with the disappearance of Connor, even he has been quiet. I think that my demon loved this human child, for whatever reason. Maybe he would have corrupted him, turned him evil, I don’t know - but I do know that both my soul and demon miss him. Both scream for revenge. Both scream for death. Both want an end to this pain.

"Connor..." I mumble, "he’s gone."

"Connor? This is all over one of your little humans?" Spike laughs.

My temper flares and in seconds I have him by the throat, and pushed up against the nearest wall, his feet dangling. "He was my son," I snarl, morphing into game-face. "My fucking child, my flesh and blood. Mine! Fucking humans took him from me! Took him..." My eyes burn and I throw Spike aside. My drunken legs can no longer support me. I collapse onto the floor, my head hitting the table as I go. "They took him," I whisper, "my son... my son..."

Spike’s POV:

What the hell if going on with the old poof? I’ve never seen Angel like this. Not even Angelus for that matter. He’s completely and utterly rat-arsed. He must have been drinking here most of the day - if not all of it. His eyes are bloodshot, his skin pale and his body trembles from too much alcohol. If he’d been human he would most likely be dead by now. Also what the hell is this about a son? A human son? Angel got a child of somebody? How is that possible, he’s still a vampire - I can smell it, feel it in my blood.

"I’m not getting that part, mate - you have a son? Another Childe?"

Angel rubs his blooded forehead and then licks the blood from his fingers. I shiver at the sensual action, his long tongue licking away Sire’s blood. I help him up and he sits gingerly on the chair, then unsteadily reaches for his pint. I pull it away.

"Give me the drink, brat," he snarls.

"Not until you tell me who this Connor is," I demand.

Angel’s face saddens and he rests his head in his hands. After a long moment he looks up, and I swear those are real tears in his eyes. Throughout all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Angel or Angelus cry. It’s a shock all in itself.

"He is... was my son," Angel starts speaking. His voice so soft and broken. "Last year, I kinda had sex with Darla. It wasn’t perfect happiness, but she was still good in a way... Well, something came from it, and Darla got pregnant. She gave birth... no, she died and Connor came into the world. He was my son, Spike. My human son."

"But you’re a demon, a vampire. Your sperm’ been dead centuries, mate," I remind him.

"I know. Wesley found this prophecy about me. It said I would Shanshu. He deciphered it as turning human; it was to be my redemption. He got it wrong, it was to give life - to have a life - to have Connor, my son."

"Okay, fine you got your redemption. What happened - the little tyke die?"

"No. There was a prophecy that Wesley found. It said the Father shall kill the son. He believed it. He - a man I considered my friend - believed I could kill my son. That I would hurt him..."

Angel chokes on the words and I let him drink more of his Guinness. His story surprises me. Angel, the soul in my Sire’s body, reached his redemption - in a way. So what happened?

"Wesley took my son. He took him from me, and this demon hunter Holtz got his hands on him. Then Sahjhan, a kind of time demon, opened a portal into a hell like dimension. Holtz took my son there. He died there without me. I couldn’t follow... I tried but I couldn’t... He’s gone... My son is gone... I tried to get him back. I cast black magic to bring Sahjhan to me... it failed... people died..." Angel heaves a moment, then continues talking through his sobs. "I can’t get him back... he’s dead... gone. Then *my friends* want me to forgive Wesley. They want us to be a happy family again. They want me to forget him... my son. The only thing I lived for! I tried to kill him... Wesley, that is... I tried and they stopped me. I couldn’t even have that! I want revenge! I want his life for my son!" Angel jumps up, unsteadily and starts shouting across the bar.

"Hey... Hey!" I hush, trying to get him to calm down. I grab hold of his arm and drag him back down onto the seat. "You tried to kill one of your humans?" I asked amazed. Angel - the champion of poor, lost - should be dead souls - tried to kill one? Hey, I’m beginning to like him better already.

"I went to his hospital room. I tired to suffocate him... they stopped me. I want him dead! I want them all dead!" Angel hisses at me, his vamp face returning. Cruel golden eyes stare into mine and I’m getting a feeling that I’m looking at my old Sire and not the soul. "I want them to suffer just as I am suffering. I cannot forget this time. I cannot let this go on. They took my reason for living, now I want to take theirs."

Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m looking at Angelus right now. It’s strange but the demon doesn’t seem as batty anymore, angry sure, but not sucking the world into hell insane. I can’t be sure however, that this isn’t just the drink talking.

"You know something Spike? I’ve sucked up to them all year around. I messed up once and they are never going to let me live it down. It’s always - Angel, don’t brood. Angel, get me some coffee. Angel, you’re not my friend. Angel, we can’t trust you. Angel, you aren’t human and not worthy of our attention. Angel, you’re only good for what we can get out of you!" His voice starts rising again, and I touch his arm. Suddenly, his cool hand covers mine and he takes it between both of his.

"You were once my son, William," he mumbles, tears running down his cheeks. "You were my son... my partner... my lover," he whispers seductively.

Out of the blue, Angel is leaning over and his lips are just inches from mine. I could kiss him here and now and he wouldn’t stop me. One of Angel’s hands lets go of mine and slides under the table. He rubs along my thigh, up to my crotch. My cock doesn’t think about my estrangement from Angel and instantly reacts to his soft touch.

"You were once *mine* too," he mumbles, his mouth inches from my moistened lips. He smells of Guinness, blood and pain. Underneath all that, he smells of Angelus.

"Angel, you’re going to regret this in the morning," I answer.

Angel gives me a strange look and backs off. He leans back against the chair, and I miss the pressure of his hand on my cloth-covered cock.

"I regret everything," he replies, drinking down all of his Guinness. He continues to stare at me and I think his drink muddled brain is beginning to wonder what I’m doing here. It’s hard to remember he hates me.

"Why are you here, Spike? Wanna torture me some more?" He grins, an uncomfortable sight. Damn, he looks so much like Angelus when drunk.

"Nah, mate," I laugh, "I’ve got other things planned." He gives me another confused look but doesn’t interrupt. I take another drink and wait until he’s properly listening.

"You want revenge against humans, Angel? Well, so do I. Bloody bastards put this chip in my brain and I can’t bite anymore. I got into helping the pissing Scobby gang, but they treat me like shit. Saved their lives, I did, and what to I get? - A plastic stake through the heart."

"They staked you?" Angel yells abruptly. He sounds angry, and it surprises me. Why would Angel be angry over that? "They tired to take another Childe from me," he sobs. I think he’s more than a little drunk.

"Yeah well, not a real stake or I wouldn’t be here, would I?. In any case, this stupid chip muddled my head. Made me soft, it did. I bloody mean, I even thought I was in love with the Slayer! Boy can she shag, but I guess you know that." I’m expecting to be beaten to a pulp at this moment, but Angel doesn’t do anything but nod. "In any case, she was using me, making me think she loved me. That I loved her and all that shit. Well, she won’t and I can’t be something I’m not. I don’t have a soul, but I can’t be a monster. I just have a piece of wiring controlling my nature. Human’s destroyed me, they made it impossible for me to live in the demon world and I can never be part of the human one. I’m a vampire and deep down so are you. We don’t belong and we’re both outcasts."

After my little speech we both sit in silence. I drink down my lager, while Angel downs another Guinness. There is nothing more to say. We both have our pain. Words that can never be spoken out loud, but I think Angel understands me, just as in a way I understand him. It’s simple really - we both want revenge. Revenge against humans, fate, life, love... and all that shit. We want to fight back. The trouble is I have a chip and he has a soul, so basically we are both screwed and unable to do fuck all.

"Life’s a crock and then you die," Angel mumbles. I think he’s got the words wrong, but I have to agree.

"Yeah, well. There is bugger all we can do about it." I answer, while signalling for more booze.

"Why did they betray me?" asks Angel. I shrug. "They can never understand my pain. The depth of guilt I feel. They don’t want to know about my feeling for my son, my soul, my failure to save Darla, or anything. They don’t care that I feel anything...." Suddenly, Angel’s eyes brighten.

"They can never understand vampires, mate. We are forever, we are beyond them, no matter if we are good or evil." I answer. I notice that Angel isn’t listening.

"We have to change that," he smiles, staring into my eyes. I’m getting this strange feeling of apprehension now. Angel is sure not looking like the Angel I know - he’s more Angelus-like. "We have to take matters into our own hands. We have to fight against what the fates dish out to us."

"You’re pissed, mate. I’ll take you home, okay?" I say. I hope he’s not thinking about dragging the world into hell again. I really can’t be bothered to fight him and all.

"No!" He shouts, grabbing my arms. I’m about to push him off, but then he says: "I can help you, Spike! I know a doctor. You help me and I’ll help you." With that Angel passes out and collapses on the floor.

"Shit!" Now I don’t know what the hell he was talking about. He knows a Doctor? Could Angel get the chip out, without me owing anything to that bitch at Wolfram and Hart? Hey, that sounds much better that her offer. I won’t even have to deal with Angelus then!

I heave Angel off the floor, and with the help of a bouncer, get him into my car. He’s completely out cold, and at this moment I could do anything to him. Still, I have to understand what he meant about this Doctor. I have to know his plan. Angelus was always good at planning. (Though he was second best to me!) So instead of driving Angel back to his hotel, I drive him to mine. It’s a complete dive, but at least it’s cheap and has clean - well reasonably clean - bed linen. I dump Angel on the floor for the night and lie down on my bed. That day, I cannot sleep. I keep looking at Angel and wondering what it is that he’s proposing. Wondering if I can trust him. And yet, I think I can trust him. This Angel is so like the Angelus I knew, so much like my old Sire and maybe, just maybe, he’ll be telling me the truth.

Angel’s POV:

Ohhhh... I think I’m going to be sick. My head pounds, and I smell... ewww... I think I’ve already been sick. It’s a good job I can’t choke to death. I roll over onto my hands and knees and groan as the world spins.

"The showers in other room, Peaches," Spike shouts at me.

Why is he so loud! I grab my head and moan for a long moment. I don’t think I’ve ever been as hung-over as this. I push myself up, and sway unsteadily as I try to get to my feet. The stench of vomit is making me feel queasier and I stumble towards the direction of another door. I assume this is the shower. I hear Spike chuckle as I walk into the door, and then fling it open.

Yes! It’s the bathroom. I eagerly strip of my soiled clothing and throw it to the floor. I don’t care if I haven’t shut the door; it isn’t like Spike’s never seen it before. Finally, I stand in the shower and turn the knob. A warm shower of water envelopes me and I sigh happily. I begin to feel more alive... and then it hits me. Connor!

My legs collapse from under me and I’m on the floor. The pain rockets through my whole body and I begin to sob. I can’t stop it. It just raises up from the pits of my soul and consumes me. I hear someone open the shower door and a cool hand touches my arm.

"Get up, pet," Spike instructs me, his voice calm but certain.

I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to feel this anymore. Connor’s gone and I have no reason to go on.

"I can’t!" I sob. Spike is supposed to hate me, isn’t he? Why doesn’t he just get on and end it? Why do I suffer so?

Spike’s hands grab my arms and drag me to my feet. I look up with tear filled eyes into his hard face.

"Now you look here, Peaches," he spits at me. "We made a deal. It’s time that we fight back. You help me and I’ll help you. Right!?" he growls the last part.

I stare into his large, pure blue eyes. So perfectly ice cold. I get a hold of myself and then memories of last night return. I remember telling him about Connor, and he told me his troubles with the chip. I remember speaking about revenge, a doctor and... freedom.

"You’ll do that?" I ask softly, not sure if I can trust him.

"Yes," he answers honesty. "You have the word of William the Bloody, Aka Spike, and Childe of Angelus - Good enough?"

"I get rid of the chip, and you help me."

"I just said yes, didn’t I?"

"You’ll get rid of my soul?" I blurt out. I think this is all I want. An end. And if I can’t have death then I’ll have oblivion.

For a moment, Spike’s eyes widen in amazement and he lets go of my arms. I think he’s about to break his word. I know he hates Angelus - well, he hates me too, but I know Angelus was crazy... well, more psychopathic last time he was out. I don’t think he’ll be like that this time around. I think he’s broken just as I am.

"Yes," Spike answers straightforwardly. He closes the shower door, and I calmly turn back to washing myself. Spike has promised me freedom, and an end to my pain. That’s good enough for me.

We don’t talk as I dress. Not in my old clothing, but what Spike must have picked up for me during the day. He made a good choice. Leather jeans and red silk shirt, with my leather jacket. He knows me so well. He gives a small smile when he sees me. I wonder what he’s feeling. Does he still hate me? Are we partners again? We agreed to work together, agreed to end each other’s pain. Does that mean he trusts me?

"Okay then, what’s first?" Spike asks, when I’ve finished dressing.

"I know a Doctor," I tell him. "He specialises in demon surgery, and likes to harvest rare organs."

"Hey! I’m not giving him any of me parts, mate!" Spike growls back in shocked anger.

"We’ll make a deal," I reassure him.

"Okay," pouts Spike.

Gods, he still does that. I remember him doing that to me when he was just a fledgling. It always made me bend to his will. I smile back slightly, and he returns it. His whole face lighting up and I feel taken aback by his profound beauty. I had forgotten how striking he was when he smiled. The truth is, when I got my soul, I didn’t want to remember him. I was ashamed of being close to another man, ashamed of wanting him. Still, I won’t feel ashamed for long. Spike gave me his word, he shall put an end to my suffering.

I lead Spike to a Medical building and to one certain Office. The office of Doctor Gregson. On the way, I tell him that Doctor Gregson is a Slod demon and collector of demon/human parts. Spike isn’t impressed and when we arrive, he’s even more displeased when we’re introduced to a middle aged, human-looking man. Spike’s opinion of him quickly changes when Dr Gregson says he can perform the procedure.

"Now?" queries Spike.

"When I have payment," Dr Gregson confirms.

"And what is the payment?" I ask concerned. Will Spike give up a body part for the removal of his chip?

"Sperm," answers the doctor.

"Excuse me?" I’m not sure I heard him right. He wants Spike’s sperm?

"Well, that’s fine with me," answers Spike, incredibly happy. He starts to unzip his jeans and reaches inside... but the Doctor stops his hand.

"Not yours," he informs Spike. He turns and looks at me. "His."

"What?!"

"You want Peaches’ here?" Spike starts to laugh, so hard that he has to clutch his sides. I kick his leg, none to gently, but he doesn’t stop.

"You’re Angel, vampire with a soul, yes?" the Doctor enquires. I nod. "You had a child with another Vampire, or so they say. Your sperm must be very unique. Give me a sample and I will remove your Childe’s chip. It’s as simple as that."

"Angel, you promised. We made a deal, you help..."

"Okay!" I answer, shutting them both up. They stand there waiting, and waiting... "I’m not doing it here," I inform them. Dr Gregson smiles lightly and hands me a sterile cup. Afterwards, we are directed into a private room, and he leaves. Spike does not.

"Spike, go away." I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t jack off... No, that’s a lie. I don’t do it much. I just feel guilty when I do.

"Thought I’d give you a hand, luv," suggests Spike, giving me a sultry grin.

"Spike, I don’t need your help. I’ve been doing..." Spike gives me the strangest look, as if he knows I’m not telling him the truth.

"Oh yeah, I can see angst Angel jacking himself off every night - not! I bet you suffered vampire evening hard-on because it’s part of your penance. And if you did, I bet you brooded extra hard." After, Spike rolls his eyes and chuckles.

Oh, what the fuck! I’ll soon be without a soul, so why bother. "Okay, but make it fast," I agree.

Spike smiles again, and I shiver at the lust in his eyes. I never thought I would ever see that look again. He gracefully drops to his knees and unzips me. His cool hands reach inside and remove my hardening member. He gives me a little surprised look, cocking his scared eyebrow.

"Hmmm... just what have you been thinking about, eh Angel? Couldn’t be little Spikey, could it?" He laughs, his hands stroking me gently.

"Spike; just suck it," I snap back.

Spike pushes back my leather jeans so my whole cock is exposed. It’s already hard just from Spike’s gentle petting. He continues to run his hands up and down my length, squeezing lightly. My hand slips into his hair and I draw his head closer. He grins again and then thankfully fills his mouth with something other than words. It’s been so damn long since anyone has done this for me. I think the last person was Spike, nearly three years ago. Since I returned from hell, no one hasn’t really touched me. Not like another vampire could. Oh, I had sex with Buffy that day that never was, and with Darla nearly a year ago, but it was nothing like what you can share with another man - or Spike for that matter. He always was so good with his mouth. My favourite when I was Angelus. Though I could never admit that to Darla, sometimes I enjoyed his touch more than I ever did hers - and she was the professional.

Spike takes the head of my cock into this mouth and swirls his tongue around the slit, adding a little pushing at my foreskin. I groan loudly, which increases Spike’ licking. He slows his licking and starts circling around the head. My penis strokes the inside of my Childe’ fine mouth, pressing against his inner cheeks, his palette and his tongue. The ridges of his human teeth grate along the tip and I moan.

"Woooo... Yes..." I gasp; completely unaware I’ve spoken out loud. "Gods, I’ve missed your mouth."

Spike mumbles, and swallows the acorn shaped head of my shaft. My words fly out.

"Fuck... yes... Spike... I want you... my boy..."

Spike takes more and more of my length into his mouth, his tongue paying particular attention to the underbelly. He stokes, pushes and presses against the underside, remembering so damn well how I like it. Suddenly, he withdraws me from his mouth, and starts licking up and down on the underneath of my cock, with long hard strokes. I tremble above him, my knees turning to jelly. I bend slightly, grasping his shoulders so I don’t fall over. I wish he could touch my balls - the tight leather obstructs them, but rubs against them almost like another hand. Spike brings one hand up and starts stroking me, while he licks up and down underneath. As soon as I start to pant, he takes me back into his mouth. Tongue and teeth attack me this time. He pushes my foreskin back, making me howl with desire. His tongue swirls over the very tip, adding pressure now and then.

"Uh... gonna come..." I grunt.

Spike removes his wonderful mouth, and returns to caressing me with his hands. Talented fingers wrap around my shaft, squeezing a little so that he pulls at the skin tight while he pumps. I tremble and squirm above him, wishing I could be lying down for this. I’m not sure how long my legs are going to hold out. My hands are already shaking as I grip his hair. Spike continues to pump, giving little licks to my slit with each upward stroke. In the end, he gives one hard squeeze and I’m done for. I fling my head back and morph. I howl as I ejaculate - filling the little cup. Finally, my legs give out from under me, and I fall to the floor with a harsh slap, as my buttocks impact on the horrid carpet.

Spike watches me with a little chuckle, and before I know what I’m doing, I’m across the floor and kissing his lips. I taste myself inside his fabulous mouth. I savour the essence of Spike too. I had forgotten how good he felt. How his tongue duels with mine. How passionately he always kisses. My hands slide into his hair and I tilt his head, so I can kiss him more deeply. My tongue slides further inside and I think I’m trying to take him all in. I want to taste every inch of his mouth. I want to be enveloped by the last remaining person who is mine. This Childe whom I created - the only family I have left.

Spike’s POV:

To say that Angel’s words when I sucked him off were a shock - would be an understatement. I don’t think even he knows what he said. That he missed me (well, my mouth), and that he wanted me (most likely for sex), but it’s the most anyone has said to me in years. No one’s wanted anything from me. Not even Buffy. We screwed, but she didn’t *want* me. The words spoken by my Sire have affected me more deeply than I ever imagined they could. I’m about to ask him what he meant about wanting me, but we are interrupted by a knock at the door.

A young woman opens the door, while Angel quickly puts himself away. "Dr Gregson is ready for you now, Mr Spike. You have the payment?"

I look down into the cup holding Angel’s opaque sperm. It’s such a crime to waste it on tests, but it’s going to pay for removing my chip, so I hand it over to her. She smiles and gives Angel a once over. I growl softly unable to hold back a sudden wave of... of... jealously? No, I’m not jealous. I brought Angel off for a reason - to pay the Doctor’s fee and that’s all.

"Come with me," the woman instructs, and she leads us out into another room with a large metal bed in the middle. There are straps and needles and...

"No fucking way!" I scream in absolute terror.

"Spike, what’s wrong?" asks Angel, in a soft voice that only I can hear.

"I can’t... I can’t do it again... No..." My whole body trembles at the sight of that table. For some reason my fear takes over my mind and I start to shake. It’s bloody stupid, I want this chip out, but at the same time I’m frozen with horror at the thought of another medical procedure. I don’t really remember when they put the chip in. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming in absolute dread of the Initiative Doctors, but I can never remember exactly what they did.

"I’m here, Spike," Angel tells me reassuringly. He takes my face into his hands, and kisses my forehead. "You are my Childe; I won’t let anyone hurt you... ever again. I promise this time... trust me," he murmurs, as he leans over and gently kisses my lips again.

My Sire’s words comfort the oldest part of me. The part that remembers when I was just a few months old, and Angelus taught me how to hunt, fuck, seduce - everything. How I felt when he protected me from other demons and humans, when I couldn‘t. He was my strength, and I will always have a place in my heart for him for that short, happy time we spent together.

I’m too petrified to speak, but I nod to my Sire. He takes my hand and guides me up onto the table. The nurse straps me down; telling me it’s necessary that I remain still throughout the surgical process. Next to the bed - stands Angel. I don’t know if it’s to comfort me or not, but he takes my hand into his own and holds on tightly. There is little emotion in his face, but his eyes are conveying something. A spark of life that I haven’t seen since arriving here in LA. It’s like he’s becoming vibrant again.

The nurse attaches an IV into my vein, and pumps some yellow liquid into me. "This will dull the pain, but you have to remain conscious," she tells me in a detached way.

Angel remains at my side and his fingers stroke my arm, and my hand clutches his. For some reason, I trust him not to leave me. That he’ll be here to protect me, and keep his promise. Moments later, I feel the effect of the drug, which makes me feel light headed and a little high.

"Mr Spike, how do you feel?" the nurse asks.

"Fiiinnnee," I answer with a little giggle.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Dr Gregson pick up a long drill piece. I’m not afraid anymore, but I tighten my fingers around my Sire’s hand. His other hand gently strokes my arm. The doctor moves behind me and I feel a prick as he starts to operate. Damn good stuff these drugs, because I can’t feel a thing. My only sensation is Angel’s fingers touching me. His cool skin, his gentle touch, his soft mouth...

Eh?

It’s like I suddenly awaken, and find my mouth covered by Angel’s. He’s leaning over me, kissing me softly on the lips, and then he moves away. I look around, surprised to find us alone in the op... no wait, it’s different. I test my arms and they are free from the restrains. Angel moves away from my lips and gives me a smile.

"Is it over?" I ask flabbergasted. I swear the whole procedure just lasted seconds.

"Yeah, it took a little over two hours, but the chip has been disabled," Angel informs, while helping me to sit up.

"The chip is gone?"

"Well not entirely, but the Doctor assures me that it won’t work anymore."

I jump of the table and finish dressing. I just have to go out and test this. I have to know if the surgery has been successful. I’m about to run out the door, when I notice Angel still standing there.

"What are you waiting for?" I demand. I want to get on and see what happens. I need to know if I have to torture this doctor if it doesn’t work.

"You are going to kill," Angel states.

"Yeah, well, we won’t know if the chip really is disabled until I do, will we?" I walk back over to him and take his hands. "Look pet, I swear I will hold up my part of the bargain." Angel looks worried again, and turns away. "Angel, come with me. Experience the hunt and kill just once before you lose your soul."

Angel is silent for a long time, and I’m afraid he won’t come. I don’t know why, but this will be my first hunt in over 3 years, and I want him with me. I want my Sire at my side as it was in the beginning. He fidgets with his jacket button and then turns. His eyes are red, but he holds out his hand. I take it gently, not sure what he wants.

"You promise me, Spike - it will be good?"

Huh? Then I realise something - Angel the soul has never really hunted. "Yeah, luv. It will be damn good."

"Then you’ll rid me of the soul?" he questions, as he leans towards my ear.

"Yes, I promise," I answer straightforwardly.

Angel nods his head, and I drag him out of the medical offices and out into the night. It has just turned dusk and the night is ours. There is so much I’d love to do at this moment. I’d love to kill all the do-gooders in Sunnydale, I’d love to kill that bitch Lilah, and I’d... wait a moment. Now there is the best idea of all night. Who better to hunt than Lilah Morgan? I’m sure Angel won’t complain about killing her.

"You up for a little lawyer hunting," I grin up at my Sire.

Angel looks a little confused and then slowly smiles. Just a little smirk at the corner of his mouth. Damn, he looks like Angelus. "I know just where to start," he informs me. For a moment, I was afraid he wouldn’t want too, but he’s really getting into this.

Half an hour later we arrive at a classy bar. It’s expensive, but with a flash of fang, both Angel and myself enter. He looks around and heads towards the bar.

"You sure she’ll be here," I ask, looking around but not spotting her.

"She comes here frequently. I met her here once, just before Wes...." Angel trails off and swallows hard. His eyes are blurred and a single tear runs down over his cheek.

"Bitch wanted to take your son as well, didn’t she?" I realise.

"Yeah, they were there when Holtz took him through that portal. They laughed at me lying in the dirt, as I...." Angel rubs his sore eyes and stills.

"Angel, we made a deal. You took out the chip, and you will get your revenge, Angel. I won’t back down, Sire, I swear." I reassure him seriously. I have no idea why I’m being loyal to him. Angelus never was to me... no that’s a lie. He always did as he said he would. Whether it was torture, a beating, or sex. He always carried it through. That’s why so many feared him - Angelus was always true to his word. For some reason I feel I owe him something. I hate him, I despise how he took Dru, but he keeps his promises.

"Angel, maybe..."

Angel stiffens and stares directly at the bar. "She’s here."

I follow his gaze and spot a tall, brown haired woman sitting at the bar alone. I look into the bar mirror - it is Lilah Morgan. I grin at Angel, and he smiles back. I think he’s going to enjoy this as much as I am.

Angel’s POV:

Lilah Morgan. The bitch queen of messing with my life. The current bane of my existence. The fuck who spiked my blood with the essence of my own child. The one who laughed at my pain and misfortune. Well, she’ll be laughing no more. My Childe is right; it’s time I - Angel - learn how to hunt.

We both approach her, unseen in the mirror at the bar. She’s smiling, no doubt congratulating herself on her victory over me. Seeing the dark avenger brought low and ripped to shreds. Well, we shall see who laughs last, and longest.

I stand at her right hand, and sit in the stool. With a sudden frightened jump, she turns and finally notices me.

"Angel," she gasps. I hear her heartbeat suddenly increase and she swallows nervously.

"You should really stop coming here, Lilah," I say sweetly. I wave at the bartender, and point at Lilah’s drink. "It’s a little easy to find you again," I smile, as a glass of whiskey is placed before me.

"What do you want?" she gasps, apprehensively. The pounding of her blood through her veins is really turning me on. She smells so sweet, so evil, and so fucking tasty.

"Dinner," I answer. I take another sip of my drink, and smile again. She looks at me curiously, I don’t think she’s ever seen me smile this way. A little twist of my lips. Buffy used to call it the Angelus’ smirk.

"Can you remember Lilah, when we met here before? I told you all the things I could do to you. How I could torture you and make you last for days, weeks even. I could do all that, in fact, I would really like to do that, but I won’t."

"You... You’re..." she stutters. For the first time ever, I see Lilah afraid. I can smell the fear rolling off her in waves, and it smells so good. Fear makes the blood taste sweeter. I can remember that much from being Angelus.

Suddenly, from her other side, Spike drops the card down in front of her. Lilah spins around and gasps as she recognises Spike.

"Hi, pet. I’m sorry it took me awhile but I brought you Angel. Trouble is I don’t need your help anymore."

"What?" she whispers, staring wide-eyed at Spike.

"You see my Sire and I, well... we had ourselves a little chat. He has a little problem, and so did I. In the end, we made a little deal. I deal with his and he takes care of mine."

"Angel won’t... he wouldn’t take the chip out. He won’t let you kill again... he’s one of the good guys..." she proclaims, her voice terrified and stuttering. I think she’s grasping what’s happening here and now. She knows she doesn’t have long to live.

"Oh no, pet. That’s where you’re wrong. Angel’s fulfilled his side of the bargain. Now, I’m just about to test it out." Spike grins widely and morphs into vamp face. Damn, he’s so good looking even with ridges and fangs.

Lilah tries to scream, but I grab her from behind, and my hand covers her mouth and nose. She struggles as her air is cut off. There are a couple of people in the bar, and they are all too concerned with their own problems to worry about one little lawyer. I stand up and we drag her into a dark alcove, my hand still covering her mouth. She struggles desperately, unable the breath. Finally, I slip my hand lower and she takes deep breaths through her nose.

"You do understand that you are the test, don’t you Lilah?" Spike asks sweetly. He runs his fingers over her face and then grazes my hand. I shiver at his soft touch and he glances at me. With his hungry stare, I can’t help but morph too. I lick my fangs, eagerly. A part of me is screaming not to do this. That this is a sin, committed by my soul. By a soul who had dreams of redemption that were destroyed by the *friends* he trusted. I am no longer that soul anymore. It’s broken and bleeding, soon to be dead and gone.

"You messed with my Sire, Lilah. That alone is a crime against my bloodline. You also insulted me. Maybe if you had been a little nicer when I came to... no, maybe not. I’d still have to kill you," Spike leers into her face. He moves lower and licks the long line of her throat. She trembles and moans in my grasp.

"You have got to taste this, Sire," Spike begs me, his eyes looking up from her throat into mine. Beautiful *evil*, golden eyes.

For a moment, I don’t move. I just stare at my Childe, and the woman that has burned me on so many occasions. I’m too tired to fight for good any longer. Too tired to be screwed with. I bend my head and lick the other side of her throat. Spike purrs in delight, and I instantly harden at the sound I haven’t heard in over 100 years. Spike always like to share the kill with me when he was a fledgling. When he still trusted me. My heart burns for a moment, and a part of me wants that back. It wants to start over again, and this time not try to break him, or betray him, or beat him.

My Childe leans forward, and with one swift movement, sinks his fangs into Lilah’s throat. There is no hesitation and from the look of his continued drinking, no pain. I watch him amazed at how he looks when he drinks. His face is almost innocent, as if he wasn’t actually in the process of killing someone. Strangely, I have no desire to stop him. I have no wish to save this human soul. Without warning, I feel Spike’s hands reach around Lilah and grip my shirt. He drags me forward until I’m pressed against her back, her throat directly under my mouth.

If I do this - there will be no turning back. There will be no backing down from this new path I’ve chosen. I’ll damn myself. There will be no redemption... No...

Screw it! I lick my fangs and sink them into warm human flesh. Hot blood spurts into my mouth, and I swallow hungrily. It burns my throat, all the way down to my stomach. My hands automatically grip this live body to me, and I suck harder. Cool hands touch my face and I bring up my own to touch my Childe’s cheeks. The human body is crushed between us, and she screams into my hand. All too soon the screams end and I suck harder, my fangs ripping open her throat, to suck out more of her living blood. Her heartbeat slows, the blood turning into a slow trickle in my mouth. I growl angrily, wanting more and more...

"No!" I yell, pulling away from the ravished throat. Lilah drops away from my embrace, collapsing on the floor in a broken heap. I know she’s dead. I felt her heart stopping as I continued to drink. Suddenly, another mouth is attached to mine. The mouth of my Childe, full of the taste of Lilah, which is on my own tongue. He kisses hungrily, his tongue lapping inside my mouth, cleaning away the human blood. I break away from the kiss panting, half in fear and half in arousal.

"It works!" My Childe yells, finally turning heads in the bar. Someone’s death brought no attention, but Spike’s infantile shouting does? Humans are such strange creatures. "It fucking works! I’m free!" He grabs me again, kissing fiercely.

I pull away from his embrace. "We have to go," I tell him hurriedly. People are getting suspicious of two men kissing, and a woman lying dead on the floor. Spike gives me a strange look, but allows me to drag him out the back door of the bar, and I set off running down the back alley. I must have run ten blocks before I’m calm again. My whole body is shaking, and I feel like ripping my gut out. Human blood flows within me, singing a song of power, desire and life, that animal blood could never duplicate.

"Angel, it’s okay," Spike says soothingly. He touches my arm, but I jump away. "It’s just the rush of being denied life for so long. Believe you me, I’m feeling it too."

I look up into his flushed, blood warmed face. He’s almost jumping around with a sudden burst of energy. I had forgotten what human blood was like, and so had Spike.

"I want it now," I tell him, panting in the rush of feeling and desire.

"Huh?" Spike’s face is a picture of confusion. He has no idea what I’m talking about.

"I want you to take my soul, now," I repeat.

Spike’ face drops a moment in pure shock, but then a wide grin spreads across his lips. He steps forward and runs his hand over my chest. Warmed lips kiss mine fleetingly. "Now? Here in this alley?" he whispers seductively in my ear.

"No, somewhere... nice?" I suggest.

"Oh pet, I have just the place in mind." He pulls a purse out of his pocket. It looks strangely familiar.

"You picked Lilah’s handbag?" I asked astounded. I never saw him do that.

"Yep," he grins. He fishes around a moment, and then pulls out a wad of hundred dollar bills. "So, you wanna go lose your soul in the Ritz?"

For a moment, I consider my options. Alley. Fleabag hotel. The Hyperion. The car. "The Ritz it is."

Of course the hotel isn’t called the Ritz, because that’s in London. However, it is a five star affair, with a huge double bed, and decked out in gold and cream. It also has an en-suite, with large shower and hot tub. What really surprises me as Spike shows me around, is the waiter that arrives with strawberries and champagne. He gives us a strange look, I suppose guessing exactly what two men are doing here together. He would be right to. Spike has brought me to this room to seduce me, and rid me of the soul that causes too much pain for me to bear. After the waiter is gone, I start to undress. Surprisingly, Spike’s hand stops me.

"You sure you want this, Angel?" he asks, large blue eyes staring into mine. "I don’t think I could... I mean that maybe it won’t work with me. It didn’t with Darla."

"That was different," I answer. Yet, I’m not sure I could explain how it was. Spike is a demon just as she was. Spike doesn’t love me. We’ve been estranged for a century, and yet, it feels so different to what Darla did. That was the spur of the moment and I just wanted to touch - no, fuck - someone in my misery. Here I want to feel. I want to be with someone. That someone just happens to be Spike. A man I had considered with some affection even when I was Angelus. We fought, screamed, raged, hated and hurt each other, but there was always something there.

"Do you want to... make love with me, Angel?" asks Spike softly. His voice no longer rough with a London accent, and he sounds almost like William. He moves forward unhurriedly and touches my cheek again. I love how he touches me; the only one for so long who‘d even dares caress me. He never flinches away from me, never notices how cold I am. He never thinks I’m going to turn evil just from a little tenderness.

"Yes, William, I do," I reaffirm, "and I want you." I lean over and kiss his lips lightly. Nothing overly passionate. Just a glimpse of what could come tonight.

"One word before we start," says Spike pulling away, his eyes serious and cold, "You promise me, you’ll never send the world into hell again!"

"I swear," I answer, just as seriously, "It was a stupid plan."

With that Spike relaxes and leans over to kiss me again. Just soft brushes against my lips and I try to grasp him close to me. He moves out of reach and walks seductively into the bathroom, giving me a backward glance. I think I’m getting the idea. I follow him into the bathroom, stripping of my coat as I go. I step over Spike’s own leather jacket, as I enter. He turns to me and slowly starts to unbutton that red check shirt he wears so much. I watch with wide aroused eyes as he slips it from his shoulders, revealing the black t-shirt underneath. Spike grins, and gives me a cocked eyebrow look. I get the message. With just as much care as he did, I unbutton my shirt. This time I have nothing on underneath, and I slip it off, revealing cool naked skin.

Spike groans loudly, and stares at my chest. "Trousers, pet," he tells me huskily. I grin as he pulls off his T-shirt and I unzip my leather pants. My eyes never leave his face, as he watches me push down my pants, showing I have no underwear. My hard cock springs free, and presses against my stomach. We’ve only just started and I’m as hard as rock. Spike licks his lips when I stand straight, giving him the full view of my erection. I nod for him to continue and he slowly slips off his black jeans. I love how Spike always forgoes underwear. In moments, he’s as naked as I am.

We look each other over, looking for the changes in both our bodies. In reality we haven’t really changed, but he does look changed to me. His body has always been whipcord thin, but well built. Now he looks even more so - there is layer upon layer of muscle under his perfect pale skin. His stomach muscles clench as I take him in, they inadvertently make his erect cock sway and I cannot drag my eyes from his pure magnificence. He’s just as I remembered him. Perfect, but strangely even more so. He would have made the gods weep at his splendour - pity he’s a blood-sucking demon.

"You like, pet?" Spike grins at me, licking his lips.

"Yeah," I breathe huskily, but then look away as he laughs softly. A feeling of unease sweeps my body, and I’m wondering if this is one big mistake.

"Fuck, Angel," Spike murmurs, as he walks nearer, "you’re so bloody beautiful." His hand reaches out and lies upon my chest. "Were you always like this?"

I can’t answer, and just swallow nervously. I haven’t a damn clue why I suddenly feel like this. It’s not the first time I’ve had sex with men - or with him for that matter. This just feels different somehow. I feel Spike’s finger lift my chin and I gaze at him. His blue eyes are wide and taking in my every detail. He leans forward and presses his lips to mine. I groan loudly, eliciting a little chuckle from Spike.

"Shower," he instructs against my mouth. I step away and while he watches, turn on the facet. "Get in," he breathes, watching my every movement.

I do as he says, and I stand under the warm spray. I love hot showers. How they make my skin feel almost alive again. I rub my hands over my chest and arms, getting them warmed by the water. I unconsciously close my eyes and continue to rub myself down. I stiffen when I hear a sudden growl. I open my eyes to find Spike standing directly before me; his eyes fixed on my body, watching as I stroke my fingers across my skin.

"Against the wall, Peaches," he grins, when I realise he’s staring at me with wide, lusty eyes.

I step back and lean against the wall. Spike enters the spray and it covers him, warming his cool skin. I do just as he’s been doing, watching the water cascade over his Adonis body.

"How are we going to play this, Angel?" Spike suddenly asks, looking me over with licentious eyes.

I return his gaze, and answer truthfully. "As lovers."

He cocks his scarred eyebrow and for a moment hesitates. "I don’t..."

"Spike, I lost my soul with Buffy because that was what we were. Lovers. Maybe I didn’t lose my soul to Darla because she was still thinking in Childe and Sire terms. I don’t want that from you." I lean close and gently kiss his lips. "Think of us as strangers if you want. Do anything, but we are not playing sub and Dom games, Spike."

"Just one question, Angel." Spike pauses a moment and looks deeply into my eyes. "Have you ever let another man...?"

"No," I answer truthfully.

Spike doesn’t say anything more, but just attacks my mouth with his own. I’ve so missed Spike’s mouth. So hard, soft, warm, wet, and so many other contradictory terms, that it’s amazing. He kisses with a force of passion, need and desperation. Sometimes, I wonder if I was ever kissed before finding Spike. We continue to kiss and grope under the warm spray. We touch and taste but nothing more. Our cocks remain untouched and weeping.

"I want to wash you, Angel," Spike speaks into my ear, as his hands caress my nipples.

"Please," I groan out, highly aroused. For a brief instant, the thought of Connor enters my mind. For a moment my heart breaks, but I push the thought away. I am strangely relaxed here with Spike. Maybe because I do believe he can make me lose my soul, and when he does, in some way I shall be with Connor again. So instead of grieving, I give myself over to my other Childe. I affix my mind to what he’s doing and.... damn, it’s good.

"So tense, Angel," I hear Spike telling me, sounding so far away. He’s lathered up a sponge, and glides it across my chest. He pays special attention to my nipples, rubbing the sponge over and over them sensually. When he gets a little moan out of me, he moves lower. He rubs over my abs down to my stomach, I laugh softly when he thoroughly cleans my navel. I reach out to touch him, but Spike steps away.

"Ah ah ah... hands off, Peaches." He grins, when I place my hands against the tiled wall. I want him to continue touching me. Even this gentle caress with a sponge is more contact I’ve had with another being for so long. Spike continues downwards, scrubbing my hips, thighs, knees and then bending down and wiping over my feet. I get an amazing view of his back and ass. I groan lightly and Spike chuckles, knowing exactly what I’m looking at. I’m amazed that Spike - the big bad - is working so hard at seducing me. Because hey, I’m a sure thing... sod it, I sound like a whore now.

Spike’s finished cleaning my front and I automatically turn around. We don’t talk; words aren’t necessary at this moment. Spike adds more bubbles to the sponge and starts scrubbing down my back, legs, and pays particular attention to my ass. At one point, he presses his thumb against my anus and tests the tightness.

"Spike!" I yell, having never been breached there. His hand withdraws and he finishes up.

"You wanna try something new later, Peaches?" asks Spike, his hard body pressed against my back. For a moment I don’t know how to respond. I’ve never been fucked by another man. I was always above any male member of my clan, the only other was the Master, and I sure as hell made sure I never stayed within his reach.

"You think you can give me perfect happiness, Spike?" I answer, my body tense and apprehensive.

"I think I could give you bliss, luv," Spike breaths into my ear, sending a delightful shiver down my back. For the first time in my 250 odd years, I wonder. Spike caresses my buttocks hard, and rubs his erection against my crack.

"Stop calling me ‘Peaches’ and I’ll think about it," I grunt out. Even if he doesn’t, I still might be swayed.

"Your turn," Spike laughs as he steps away. He passes me the sponge and I start returning the favour. I’ve never done this before in a shower. It was a bit impossible really, when I was in my - shall we call it my slut period - they didn’t have showers like this. I did have many baths with Darla, Dru, Spike and so forth. This is better than that, here in this shower I have total access to the whole of his body, and he to mine.

Spike’s POV:

Oh WOW! That’s the only word I can come up with. Angel’s body is so hard, perfect - like sculptured marble. Yet, at the same time soft and supple. He has the most amazing ass, toned and hard. When I’ve finished scrubbing down, my body is screaming to come, and we haven’t even reached the sex part. I used to hate how his naked presence could turn to me mush. I despised how I would bend over for Angelus, whenever he called. I’m ashamed that at this moment, if he asked, I would do just the same. He doesn’t however, but takes up the sponge and starts to soap me down.

I gasp as he rubs over sensitive nipples. Once upon a time, Angelus used to whip them until I came. Now he’s gentle, caressing them with sponge, then a little hand action. He doesn’t say anything when I gasp with desire, but just gives me this little shy smile. This is side of Angelus is so new to me. I’ve never experienced my sire’s body being so tender. He’s washing me with soft strokes, taking care to clean every crevice with amazingly gentle hands. They are like feathers across my skin, and I can’t hold back the moans of pleasure as he touches me.

A sudden thought passes through my mind. I remember back to having sex with Buffy. It was always hard, fast, sometimes even violent. I wonder if their time together was like that, or did he touch her like he’s touching me. Pain rockets through my mind and I feel suddenly jealous. I’ve never touched Buffy like Angel’s touching me. Yet, that’s not what has angered me. It’s why hasn’t Angel ever touched me like he did her? Like he’s doing now, why did I have to wait until he‘s desperate to lose his soul? When all this if is a payment for services provided. However, at this moment, I don’t know who’s the payer and who is the whore.

Angel must have noticed my lack of response when he stops cleaning my feet. He’s looking up from the floor, on his knees and he’s so damn gorgeous. Like an Angel. "Spike..." he starts to ask confused about the expression on my face.

"Angel, why me?" I interrupt.

Angel stands up and stares into my face. "You are the only one I know who could ever come close to giving me true happiness."

Well, that does it for me. I don’t care if this is a one-night stand. I don’t care if it’s just payment - a reason why he’s in my arms. I’ll fuck and ask questions later. I grab his hair, and drag his mouth to mine. We kiss frantically, our bodies pressing together - a perfect fit.

My hand slide over his slick skin, touching firm muscles, then moving lower to grab his bottom. Angel chuckles softly into my kiss, and returns the compliment. Large hands grip my butt cheeks just as I’m doing to his. I laugh in return, and for the first time ever I’m feeling relaxed with Angel. Come to think of it, I’m hoping this can be fun as well as sexual. With Drusilla it was hard, violent... and much was the same with Buffy and Harmony. I used to think that’s how I liked sex. Maybe this time I want to try something different. There has been so much pain in my - our - lives recently, maybe it’s time for a change.

To test my Sire’s new disposition, I continue to rub his ass as I ravish his mouth. Our tongues fighting as our lips crush together. With one finger I rub down the crevice of his cheeks until I reach that untouched hole. With the water rushing over us, I part him gently and push a finger inside.

"Humph..." is Angel’s immediate answer. He pulls away from my mouth, his eyes wide, as he gazes into mine. And then to my complete amazement, he smiles.

I don’t say a word, not wanting him to change his mind about all this. Angel tilts his head again, and kisses me fiercely. Our bodies press against each other tightly, and I piston my finger in and out of his anus. With a soft chuckle Angel’s own finger enters my ass, doing exactly the same as I am to his. I groan loudly as the entry burns for a moment, and then the feeling of pleasure takes over, as he strokes my sensitive tissues. Taking it a step further, Angel presses in another finger. I repeat the action with him and he grunts loudly. He’s so bloody tight and untouched. With the added stimulation of moving my fingers in and out of him, I start to scissor and encircle them.

"Yes... Spike... Ohhhhh..." Angel groans.

"Harder, Angel," I pant to him, as he adds another finger, doing the same to me as I am to him. Now I add a finger to Angel, making us both press back against the three fingers inside us. Our hips rock together, my cock pressing against his stomach, as mine is against him. This is amazing. I can’t believe it could be like this with Angel. My head is bringing up all the memories of how Angelus used to take me, and it was nothing like this!

"Will!" Angel suddenly shouts, ripping his mouth away from mine, and howls loudly. His cool seed splashes against my stomach only to be washed away by the warm water.

"Angel!" I return, my own climax flooding me. I’m not sure if I came from him using my real name or not. It’s been forever since anyone called me that or even knew.

For a long moment we stand perfectly still in the shower. Our bodies trembling from our recent climax, our fingers still inside each other. In fact this is so damn good, I don’t want to move. Best sex I’ve had in months. And look Ma no bruises! Still, it has to end and Angel removes his hand from my ass, grinning slyly. I give a couple of good thrusts before I leave his tight place, and he groans in return.

"Later, Will," he hisses into my ear, as he steps out of the shower. I stand stunned by his softly spoken words, and only watch as he grabs a hotel robe and wraps it around himself.

It’s minutes later, after I compose my Spike persona, that I’m able to step out of the bathroom. I half expected to find Angel on the bed waiting. Instead, I find him lying on the floor watching the TV. It’s such a normal, everyday thing that humans do all the time. It’s not something I ever dreamed Angel would be doing. His face is a picture of fascination as he smiles at the characters on the wide screen TV.

"You know, I don’t have a Television at the Hyperion," he mentions casually, as if we are old friends and not deadly enemies.

"You should really get into the twenty-first century, Peac... Angel," I laugh. It’s then I notice he’s poured out two glasses of champagne, and the strawberries are on a tray beside him. He’s sipping his own drink, while watching the TV. When I realise what he’s tuned into, I start to laugh hysterically. Angelus, scourge of Europe is watching Pretty Woman. He’s got the part where Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, have gone up to his hotel suite, and she’s watched I Love Lucy, and is now causally seducing him.

"You like?" I laugh, as I flop down beside him.

"I’ve never seen it before," Angel answers, staring at the beautiful Julia Roberts stripping down to her underwear.

"It’s pretty simple, he pays her for sex and they fall in love." I inform him.

"Novel idea," Angel answers seriously. I suddenly feel uneasy, and out of the corner of my eye I can see him grinning at me.

"What?"

"Nothing..." Angel grins. He sits up slightly and shrugs off the thick robe. Underneath he’s naked and hard again. He lies on his side beside me, giving up on watching the screen and just gazes at me. He’s not staring, but it feels... funny. Suddenly, I gasp as his large hand tenderly touches my chest and pushes aside the robe. I guess he wants things moving along, yet I don’t want to rush this. I want to see what Angel has planned.

Angel helps me out of my robe, and I lay beside him again. This time he pushes me onto my back and picks up his wineglass. With a little shy grin, he starts to dribble the sparkling liquid over my chest. I laugh as the cold champagne tickles my nipples and navel. When I look up, I notice that Angel’s smiling too. It’s a really strange sight. A smile I’ve never seen before. There is nothing Angelus-ly there. Then Angel licks his rough tongue over my nipples, lapping up the liquid. I shudder at his feathery touch.

"You taste good, Will," Angel murmurs into my skin. He continues to lick my chest clean, as I slowly turn to mush below him. The next thing I know he’s pushing a strawberry into my navel. I laugh as he eats it out, giving me another of those strange pleasured smiles.

Suddenly, the tension is ripe between us and I want something deeper. I want to touch him. Feel a connection to him of some fashion. Angel grins over me, and I spread my legs. He kneels between them and is greeted by my throbbing erection.

"Fuck!" I yell, as Angel pours the champagne over my cock. He repeats what he did earlier on my chest, and starts to lick me clean. When finished, he pours even more champagne over me. This time he takes my hard length into his cool mouth. I groan and thrust lightly. Angel rests his hands on my hips holding me down. Oh, Yeah... this is just what I need... Blowjobs from another Vampire are the best. They never have to worry about the breathing problems. Angel starts to lick, then suck, and then lick again around the acorn shaped head of my cock. He touches no where else, just concentrating on that area. It’s damn erotic. I look down and see his dark head, moving over my cock. A beautiful, never seen before, sight. My Sire is sucking me like a lollypop.

"Yeaaahhh..." I half laugh, half groan.

Angel answers with a low chuckle that vibrates down the length of my rod, directly to my balls. Now I start to squirm under him. Wishing he’d take me into the back of his throat, or just suck me down, but he doesn’t move. He just sucks, licks and sucks some more on the head. I tell ya, this is getting really frustrating.

"Please!" I yell. Not exactly sure what I’m asking for. Angel continues with his movements and I’m panting with desperate need. He alternates now and starts pushing at the foreskin, until it’s forced all he way back, then worries the tiny slit. Oh... Yeah...

"Ye... Ang... oh..." I yell, as my cum travels down my cock, pouring into Angel’s open mouth. I watch amazed as he swallows me down, and then licks me clean. He acts as if he actually enjoyed my taste. I collapse back on the floor, and he crawls up my body. I open my eyes into tiny slits and gaze at his face. I wonder if I will be able to tell when he’s turned. At this moment, I don’t even know this Angel. This Angel who is currently straddling my chest, smiling directly into my face.

"Tasty," he comments with a grin.

I’m a little unsure on how to reply, so instead I just kiss him. He tastes of passion and me. Our kissing turns from simple sex, to something more. Something deeper. I feel something. I haven’t a clue what it is. When I’ve had sex with the others, like Dru and Buffy, I’ve always been on automatic pilot. I know what to do, and when, and how. Even that first time with Buffy, I knew it was coming. We were fighting, and screaming at each other, but I knew violent sex would happen at the end. This time with Angel, I have no idea what is occurring between us.

I start and bring my hands up to hold him. Then caress him. I stroke over the planes of his hard body, and Angel responds in an unexpected way. He starts to purr. Okay, you might think this usual for a vampire to purr when happy, but Angelus - he never purred. This Angel’s purr rises deep inside his chest, and creates a slight tremble throughout his whole body. I realise this is what Angel meant. Buffy touched him with love and tenderness that night he lost his soul. It was something Angel has never experienced before or since. I have a few times with Dru, but never with anyone else. I know now of Angel’s weaknesses. He adores to be touched. He loves to kiss, to be held, and to be wanted by someone. So that’s what I give him. I rub my hands all over him. Damn, he’s got a body men would kill for. I tweak his nipples, tickle his navel, pull at his pubic hair, rub my hands up and down his ass, stroke his inner thighs, kiss the inside of his elbows.

Soon I have Angel reduced to a quivering mass above me. He hasn’t been inactive all this time either. He’s been touching me just the same. He’s sucked my earlobe, caressed the nape of my back, pinched my nipples, rubbed my stomach, licked and sucked my fingers. We have touched and tasted each other, and I know I want more.

Angel isn’t slow on the uptake. We don’t need words. He settles himself between my legs, and pushes them up to my chest. We continue to kiss as he does, our hands touching and testing every part of each other we can reach. Then Angel sits back and runs his hands down my inner thighs back to my cock. He pumps me a couple of times, his tongue licking over the head.

"I want it..." I start to pant. Angel grins down at me, and picks up the half empty bottle of champagne. He pours it over my cock, letting it dibble down over my balls, to my anus. I chuckle softly at the strange sensation it causes as the cool, sparkling liquid rolls over my skin. Moments later, the sensation is even better as Angel’s tongue follows the path the wine took. He licks over my cock, then takes my balls into his mouth, sucking and rolling them lightly. Then he moves lower, and I yell in delight as his strong tongue pushes at my entrance.

"No..." I complain as Angel suddenly moves away again.

This time he pushes my legs up higher against my chest, and I hold on tightly. He adds more champagne, pressing the liquid into my ass. I squawk unmanly like, as I feel his finger enter me, pushing the liquid deeper. He gives me a quick lick, and groans.

"Damn you taste good, Will," he mumbles against my anus.

"More..." I pant, unable to say anything with much meaning at a time like this.

I watch though slit eyes as Angel pours the wine over his own length, and then carefully presses it into my clenched hole. I try to relax my body, but it’s been so long since anyone has touched me there. Angel is so slow and gentle, I forget who it is taking me. Surely this body cannot be Angelus’, because he feels so different. He rubs my perineum while slowly sinking into my anal passage.

"So tight, Will," he groans, as he shifts slightly so he can move deeper.

I don’t answer. I just watch this dark god loom above me. His hard length pressing deeper and deeper inside my body. His cock stretching me open and it feels... so bloody good. I feel full. Completed. It’s even better when he slowly circles his hips, as if moving my inside around so he’s all the way in. I growl and then partly whine, as my voice turns to Vampire speech to express how fucking fantastic this feels. Angel beings to pump slowly in and out. His cock head stretches the tight ring of muscle at the entrance before he pushes back in, all the way to the base. His tempo is slow and controlled. I can tell he’s enjoying this as much as I am, because he’s started to breathe with each thrust.

His face is angelic in appearance. His eyes close, dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he moves. I run my fingers through his damp hair, so I can see his face more clearly. Damn, he’s beautiful.

"Bugger!" I scream when Angel changes the angle of thrust, and hits directly onto my prostate. My body trembles below him, making my ass quake around his length.

"I am!" Angel answers with a smirk.

I chuckle, as his eyes open, and they‘re so dark that almost black orbs stare into mine. After that moment, I cannot break eye contact with him again. I stroke over his shoulders and face as he continues the slow, deep thrusting. His own hands now move to my cock and encircle it, so I thrust into them. Soon, I know I’m going to come, my cock burns, and my ass starts to contract up and down as my orgasm nears.

"Bite me," Angel murmurs softly. The words are so muted I almost miss them. I stare amazed into his dilated eyes, but I see his sincerity. In one quick movement, I lean forward and sink elongated fangs into his thick corded throat.

"Will!" Angel screams, and dives for my own throat. I yell right along with him. My blood flows into his mouth, as his does into mine. With the added stimulation of blood, both our orgasms happen almost simultaneously. Angel’s cool seed floods my burning passage, as my own covers both our chests. A splash lands on my chin, and throat. We draw away from each other’s neck, leaving deep bite marks as evidence of our union. Angel grins down at me and I tremble as he licks away my spilt come. Finally, he rolls off me, and we lie side my side on the plush carpet.

"That was..." he mumbles next to me, stretching out his long fine body.

"Yeah," I agree, my body feeling like jelly attached to the carpet.

"You think that would be enough?" I ask after a long pause. I roll over on my side and gaze on his features. He looks relaxed and quite happy. I don’t know if it is perfect happiness, but it looked and felt pretty close to me.

"Why what did you have in mind?" Angel grins, rolling over to face me.

"I was wondering, before you turn into psycho man... well, if you wanted to continue what we started in the shower?" I finish shyly. Yes, me - the big bad - was shy about asking Angel if he wanted me to pop his cherry. If he makes love to me like that, I’m wondering what he’s going to be like on the receiving end.

Angel looks confused for a moment, and then another of those startling smiles spread over his features. "So Childe, you wanna be my first?" he asks slyly.

Angel’s POV:

What the fuck am I doing? Asking Spike to fuck me? Asking my Childe to take my virginity? That sounds really weird. Here I am a 247-year-old vampire, and I’ve never done it that way with another man. Yet, I watched how Spike enjoyed me taking him. It wasn’t like the times before between him and Angelus. This time his face was flushed with passion, desire and he felt so damned good around me. I’ve wondered what it would be like to feel that. The trouble is, do I want to gift him with this? Will Angelus hate him after I do? Oh shit, he’s giving me that pouting look I love so much. Those large blue eyes, and the pushed out bottom lip. I can’t help but laugh. I think I’ve offended him, so I grab his arm.

"I’m not laughing at you," I reassure him. "I was just... well, I think I would like it... if you want to..."

Spike laughs at me this time. I don’t blame him.

"Don’t worry, Luv. You don’t have to ask me to fuck you,"

"I don’t want to be fucked Spike, I want to be made love to. I want you to show me."

Well, that shut him up. My talkative, overactive Childe is suddenly very, very quiet. Then before I can say anything more, he jumps up, grabs my hand and drags me to my feet. He pulls me over to the bed, and sits down.

"You want me to show you everything, Angel?" he asks, his eyes wide in amazement.

"Yes," I answer... well, I think I do. I’m just not sure what that means exactly.

Spike gives me his huge trademark grins and slides his fingers though my damp un-styled hair. He tilts my head slightly, and we kiss. The kiss is less frantic than before, but certainly not less passionate. In fact it’s full of promises yet to be fulfilled. Our fingers touch and caress, and then when I’m really getting into it, Spike pulls away.

"Peaches, the best way first time around is hands and knees on the bed," he suggests, as he stands and looks around for lubricant.

For the first time I feel nervous. I haven’t done this and a part of me is unsure if I want to. Yet, I get in position and moments later, Spike reappears with a tub of hand cream. He kneels on the bed behind me, his long fingered hands stroking my rear end. I feel a soft kiss on the small of my back, and then gentle fingers part my butt cheeks.

"Just relax, luv," Spike murmurs to me softly. His fingers gently sliding up and down my crevice, just pressing against my entrance.

I don’t answer, because I’m not sure if I want him to stop or continue. So continue he does. I feel something cold pressed into my ass and his finger follows. It’s such a strange sensation. For a second it burns as the tight muscle is breached, and I feel as though I want to push this foreign body out. I can feel it so acutely as Spike’s finger slides all the way in, and he wriggles it around.

"What.... oh... ekk..." I moan. This is really quite... strange... in a good way. It’s not painful, but it’s... weird. He adds a second finger, there is a sudden burn, but then he’s caressing the inner tissue. It feels more sensitive than if he were kissing me. I feel every part of his fingers inside. He bends them slightly and I gasp, my body jerking with pleasure.

"Want more, luv," Spike proposes seductively in my ear. I feel his free hand reach around and stroke my very erect cock. He wipes away my pre-cum with his fingers and I hear him lick them clean.

"Oh...god... Yes!" I cry.

Suddenly, Spike’s fingers are gone and I almost complain, but before I can get the words out, they are replaced by something much larger and slick. Spike parts me with his fingers as he carefully inserts himself. I rear up with the tremendous sensation - a little burning, stretching and a feeling of intense pleasure as his cock pushes forward, rearranging my insides.

"Whoa...Spike!" I yell, as he continues to enter me.

"I think you like this, don’t you, pet? Just loving my cock opening ya up for me. And fuck you feel so damn tight, Angel. Oh yeah, I’m going to like being in here all the bloody time!" He groans out, as he sinks in deeper.

What I can’t understand is how can he talk at a time like this?

Finally Spike is fully encased, and I feel... completely... full in every sense. Everything is still for a long moment, as we both try to comprehended the emotions and sensations burning through us. Then Spike starts a slow deep thrusting. He pulls almost all the way out, and then pushes slowly back in. I groan with each thrust, my hands begin to shake with the sensations washing through my body.

"Lift yourself up, Angel," Spike pants into my ear. I do and he helps me into a crouching position.

"So deep," I groan out, and Spike chuckles at my observation.

"Gonna get deeper, luv," he promises, as this time he thrusts harder and deeper.

I can’t explain the sensations I’m getting from Spike’s cock buried inside. I feel his presence so intensively. I feel every move he makes. I wonder if he can feel mine. I experiment and clutch my ass muscles tightly as he thrusts in.

"Fuck!" he screams, as I grip him hard. The sensation burns through me, and the pain makes my cock even harder.

"Grind your hips, Angel," Spike suggests.

I yell incomprehensible words as I do. He touches something deep inside me as I move. As that pleasure point is caressed by his pounding, I start to chant... "Spike... Spike..." Why the hell didn’t he tell me it felt like this?

Spike isn’t idle all this time. His hands caress me, pinching my nipples and stroking my chest. He hasn't once touched my cock, which really is a good thing. If he had, I think I would have climaxed with his first thrust. I understand why he hasn‘t touched it yet, he’s showing me how this works.

"NO!" I yell as Spike suddenly withdraws.

"Patience, Angel," Spike scolds. He pushes me on my back and with strong arms, lifts my legs. I know this position and in desperation clutch my legs to my chest. Spike positions himself again and sinks into my anal passage even deeper. This time I do scream. He presses hard against that blissful nub inside, and continues to do so with each thrust. From this position, I can also see his face.

Spike’s face is completely... well; I don’t know how to explain it. His eyes are squeezed shut, and he bites his lips, as his whip cord body thrusts into mine. I can see solid muscles flex, and stretch as he moves. It’s like a symphony - a symphony of Spike in all his sexual beauty. With my hand now able to reach him, I grasp his face, and bring his lips to mine. His mouth opens and he groans as I shove my tongue into his gasping orifice. We share sloppy, incessant kisses, as the movements of our bodies thrust our mouths together, then apart.

Suddenly, Spike changes positions again! This time I growl loudly as Spike leaves my throbbing ass. I feel sore, but it’s so damn good, I never want it to stop. I’m on the edge of orgasm, without even touching my cock, and then he keeps damn well stopping and changing position. This time he pulls me to the edge of the bed, stands before me, grasps my legs so they clutch his shoulders, and rams back inside me.

"Fuck!" We both cry in unison. It’s so deep, so harsh and so damn perfect as he hits my prostate gland with all the force of his weight behind him. I feel as if I’m being torn apart. That soon he’s going to bury his body inside of me, and I’ll never want him to come out.

"Wanna come," I moan as Spike thrusts, each one deeper than the last. My whole ass throbs and I know he’s tearing me with the violence of each plunge. Yet, I feel only passion and no pain. The smell of blood is like an aphrodisiac to a vampire, and it’s making me desperate to orgasm. I want... need it now... please, Spike! "Please!" I scream. I know he understands too. The little fuck is grinning down at me.

"Not yet, Peaches," he grinds out, holding back his own pleasure.

"No!" I yell as he pulls out, and drags me to my feet. He shoves me towards the sofa, and I’m bent over the back. He plunges back inside, and I scream again, as the head of his cock rams directly into my prostate with incredible force.

"Fuck, Peaches! If you weren't my Sire, I’d do you forever!" he pants. I feel his body trembling as he thrusts, and I know he’s holding back his orgasm. I think he wants to try every position while he has the chance. I don’t think Angelus will let him do this... but it feels, borrowing Spike’s words - bloody fabulous. This time Spike continues with the deep, powerful thrusting. I smell more and more of my blood leaking from my torn passage, but I don’t care. It’s like I’m filled with want... need... love? I am a vampire, and I’ve missed this kind of sex for over a century. I had forgotten what it felt like. I had forgotten it was so spectacular.

The pleasure of my union with Spike burns through me. It scorches every nerve, burns it’s way to my dead heart, and I feel whole. This being wants me. He’s not afraid to touch me, whether it is kindness, or damn good hard fuck. I clutch the sofa, as each thrust tears deeper inside me. I scream with pleasure and I know I’ll climax soon. My whole body builds with a floating sensation, my balls burn and seconds later; my cool seed covers the back of the sofa.

"Spike!" I scream as I cum. My whole body shuddering with an orgasm so powerful, it’s about to blow my head off.

"Sire!" Spike yells in return, as with a couple more violent thrusts inside me, his cock head throbs against my torn tissue, and then spurts his sperm into my bowels. I swear I can feel every single drop leave him. He sags against me, resting his body along my back. We are both panting with the strength of our excursions.

"Bed?" Spike questions in a tired voice.

"Mmmm," I answer. We both stand slowly, my body sore and throbbing, but I’ve never felt so... happy. I’m delirious happy in fact. We both stagger over to the bed and collapse upon it, lying side my side.

"You think it worked?" Spike asks, with something in his voice that I can’t identify.

"Mmmm," I reply, before turning and smiling at him... yet, he doesn’t return my smile. "Spike?" I ask, unsure how to approach this. Didn’t he enjoy it?

"I’ll miss you," he mumbles softly.

At last I understand. Angel the soul will soon be gone, and then Angelus will be back. They did not part on good terms the last time Angelus returned. Angelus was a complete bastard to him.

"I’ll miss you, too," I answer, kissing him gently. "Now, sleep inside me." I tell him, staring at his shocked face. I roll over and press my back against his. With vampire recovery speed my Childe is almost hard again. This is something I want to experience, maybe for the last time. I want to be connected to him. With gentle hand, Spike parts my already stretched anus and eases inside. He gives a hearty sigh and rests against my back. I grab his arms, and pull them around me, so we are as connected as much as we’ll ever be. Together we sleep.

Spike’s POV:

When I awaken, I have no idea where I am, but it feels damn good. My body is pressed against something solid; my cock is hard and encased in silk. I slowly open my eyes, and look down onto a dark head of hair. I rub my face gently against it; it’s so soft and smooth. I shift slightly, then groan as my cock is squeezed tighter. In a flash, I remember where I am. I’m at a hotel, I had amazing sex with Angel, and I’m currently buried inside his tight ass.

"Oh shit!" I cry softly, when the full meaning of my situation hits me. I have my cock buried inside... "Angelus!"

With one swift movement, I pull away from his... very comfortable... fuckable... body and look around desperately for my clothing. I have got to get out of here! He’ll fucking kill me... I mean, I slept inside my Sire! Shit... Shit...

"Will..." my Sire groans, his hands reaching behind him. He pats the cool bed, and quickly turns around looking for me.

I have got to get out of here before he realises what I’ve done. He’ll skin me... He’ll...

"Will, my boy. Come back to bed and fuck me."

Huh? What? My whole body freezes in shock from his words. I’m half way pulling my jeans on, and totter precariously with one leg in, and one out. Angel - Angelus? - turns to me, and smiles...

"Why did you move? You woke me up, Childe and..." He gives me a strange look, taking in my actions. "Why are you getting dressed?"

"I... err... Well..."

"Will, stuttering for a vampire is not a good idea." I stare at him, as he holds out his hand and stupidly I take it. He tugs me forward and I fall onto the bed. While I can’t move from the shock, his strong hands push the jeans away and he pulls me into his embrace. I’m still and well... fucking petrified, but Angelus doesn’t do as I expect. He kisses me.

The kiss is hard and deep, he licks at my lips begging me to open my mouth, then he slips his tongue inside. He sucks at my mouth, his tongue touching every corner, and after a moment I can’t help but kiss back. Suddenly, just as I was getting a little relaxed, Angelus pulls away and with a sly grin turns away from me. He offers me his back, lying with one leg straight and the other pulled up, exposing his anus.

"Finish what you started," Angelus demands, calmly.

I don’t know if I’m scared that he is so calm, or scared that he’s asking me to fuck him again. Will he kill me after or... I don’t know, but that tight hole looks so bloody tempting. He’s healed... and whole... and I could tear him again, thrust inside and cover... Oh, bloody hell! I stop thinking and press my body against his back. I push two fingers into his hole and roughly scissor them. Angelus groans deeply in his chest, and presses against my invading fingers. His whole body shudders, and I look down to see his cock engorged and weeping. Enough of this... I open him with my fingers, and shove my cock inside.

"Yes!" he screams, as I tear him open. I smell his powerful blood coating me, and he shudders in my arms. I start a hard rhythm and lose myself in his sublime body. I forget whom I’m fucking and just feel. I take him into my embrace and pinch his erect nipples. I stroke down his chest, to his concave stomach, pulling gently at his pubic hair.

"Hmmm," he groans, thrusting even harder back against me. His arms reach back, gripping my hips and pulling one leg flush against his bent one. I slide in fully and we both purr.

I start to kiss his shoulder, licking over his infamous tattoo. His hands slide up my body holding me closer to him. My own hands aren’t idle, but now I move lower and grasp his weeping cock. He trembles and thrusts back fiercely. I feel myself splitting him, and a small part of my mind fears that he’s gonna kill me after this.

"Angelus..." I groan, as his muscles start to spasm around my cock.

With the sound of his name, my Sire laughs but says nothing. At this moment I can’t think about what that means. My orgasm is rushing through me and I know I’m coming soon. I increase pumping his hard length, and we pant together. Without even thinking about it, I bite deeply into his shoulder and as his blood fills my mouth, I flood his torn passage, and then collapse against his back. I feel that he’s come too and my hand is covered with his opaque sperm. Without thinking, I bring it to my mouth and lick away his salty goodness.

"Oh...fuck...Will," Angelus groans, his body still pressed tightly against mine.

With the sound of his voice, I suddenly remember what I’m doing again. The mind numbing fear fills me again, and I stiffen against him.

"Something wrong, Will?" Angelus asks casually, as he snuggles into my body.

"Err... I’m just wondering when you’re going to kill me," I answer, my voice squeaking with fear. I might be the Big Bad, but psychotic Angelus is enough to strike fear into the most evil of vampires. Especially me because I’m his Childe and I just broke the Lore by fucking him.

"Kill you?" Angelus laughs. He pulls away from my body, moaning as my blood coated cock slips out of him, and rolls to face me. "Why should I kill you, Will? Hmm?" His strong fingers stroke down the lines of my cheekbones, and dark eyes stare into mine.

"The lore... fucking..." I stutter. To my utter surprise, Angelus leans over and kisses me again. This time it’s gentle and caressing, his tongue licking over my lips.

"I like your fucking, Will," he mumbles against my lips. I open them to reply, but he takes the opportunity to shove his tongue inside. We kiss for long moments, our hands caressing, and the sly bugger is turning me on again. His hands touch my cock, and when he draws away he does the most amazing thing. He licks his fingers clean. Well, I groan and attack his mouth again. His internal blood shared between us. I suddenly remember there’s more where that came from. I manhandle my Sire onto his front, and spread open his ass cheeks. My tongue licks over his spilt blood, and I proceed to clean him out. Oh well, if he’s going to kill me later, it had better be for a good reason.

It’s dusk, when I finally awaken again. We spent a whole day fucking, making love, and generally just touching. We didn’t talk about anything, I still don’t know if this is Angelus or Angel sleeping next to me. Also I’m surprised I was even able to wake up at all. I was half expecting Angelus leaning over me, and shoving a stake through my chest. He hasn’t and I’m still here. I’m in the same position as I was earlier. Angel... Angelus... whomever is still wrapped in my arms, sleeping as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. I can’t tell from his face who he is. His features are just the same as Angel’s. It’s just confusing. I don’t know if I trust him, or if I should run the hell out of here as fast as my feet can carry me, or what.

My thoughts are broken my Sire’s softly spoken words. "It’s time, Will," he says.

"Huh?" I squeak.

"I wish we could stay here forever. That wasn’t part of the deal, and we have our revenge to complete," he tells me. I swear that is sadness I hear in his voice. He suddenly turns to face me, and I can’t help but flinch back in fear. He doesn’t notice, but just continues to smile. "Hunt with me, Childe. One last time."

He’s not going to kill me? My brain takes a little time working out exactly what he wants. I think he’s letting me go. Then there was something about a hunt?

"Will, lets us hunt together like we did before the curse, before Buffy and everything else." He starts getting up again and holds out his hand. Last time I took it, it led to amazing drawn out sex. That must have lasted well over a day. I’m still unsure. I can’t trust him. Yet, I take it.

Angelus’s POV:

When I awoke in Spike’s arms, I felt the strangest sensation. For the first time since my son was taken from me, I was at peace. I feel my Childe’s cock buried deep inside of me, but I enjoy his intrusion. I feel whole. He was still asleep so I just lay there, feeling all the little touches of his body next to mine. Memorising how he felt. Then suddenly, pain burned through me.

I felt as though I was being torn in two. I gritted my teeth just concentrating on the body of my Childe next to me. It wasn’t the same pain as that first time, after I made love to Buffy. That was a wrenching pain, where I could physically feel my soul being torn from my flesh. This is different. This pain has set me free. Trouble is I don’t know who I am. Am I Angelus? Or am I Angel? Truth is... I don’t give a fuck.

Moments later, I feel Spike awaken and I pretend to sleep. I can smell his sudden fear, and hear his terrified words. I have to bite back a laugh, but I understand why. I should be furious at him for breaking the Lore... over and over again. Yet I’m not. Why? Because it was the best sex I’ve had in forever. I gave to him, just as he gave to me. We were equals and nothing could compare to how good it felt. I want him like that again. So I pretend to awaken and I convince him to get back into the bed. He takes... no, makes love to me, and I feel that sensation of completeness return. In fact I get that feeling for hour, after hour. Spike gives up on the worrying and just gives himself over to me. We touch, kiss, fuck, and suck until it all rolled into one giant orgasm. It could not last forever, however. When dusk came I knew we had to part company. Spike has his own agenda and so do I. Yet, I still wanted to experience one last thing with him. I wanted to hunt with my Childe. We haven’t done this in over 100 years. When I returned the last time, when he was in that wheelchair, we shared nothing. Not even friendship. This time it shall be different.

We dress in silence, giving each other longing looks as our bodies become covered with soft clothing. I notice that Spike sighs with frustration as I pull my pants up, covering my half erection. I wish we could stay here and have him suck me all night. We can’t, however, there are debts to be repaid and I’m anxious to complete them. Still, we shall have one last hunt together.

We leave the hotel, our room looked as if a bomb had dropped. But the pleasure of being a vampire is killing the manager when he complained. My Childe and I were running together on our first hunt for so long. I’d never felt so exhilarated as I do now. My body is humming with desire, pleasure and need. I want to bathe in the blood of humans, bathe and then fuck my Childe in it. Unfortunately, I can’t fulfil those desires; Spike has other plans in mind. Soon we shall have to part company.

I shall make the most of this last hunt with him. We had come to the worse part of the city, and to an old dance hall, turned into a screaming nightclub with loud music and flashing lights. A place filled with a mixture of demons, vampires, human junkies, all the low life you could think off. Darla never liked these kinds of places, but Spike loved them. He could touch his victims, seduce them, and fool them into thinking he could save them, and then he’d rip their throats out. Damn, I want him to do that tonight.

We talk little, and most of our conversation is shared glances. This how we communicate, co-ordinating our moves and finding our victims. We roamed the dance floor, the bar, and there we spotted them. Two women. One black haired the other blond. They instantly reminded me of Cordelia and Buffy. Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a lot of fun killing them. Both Spike and I share a knowing smile and set our sights on the two women. We take in their smell. They smell of sex, drugs and disease. Spike and I glide over the dance floor and without a word invite the two women to dance. The giggle between themselves, but they take our hands, and we grind together with more sweating human bodies.

My eyes don’t pay any attention to the woman in my arms. I touch, caress, hold and move, as I should to seduce her. It isn’t her, however, that fills my mind - it’s Spike. It’s watching him dance, how his body sways and grinds into the female he holds. How I wish he’d dance and grind into my body. I growl loudly, frightening the young girl, who suddenly tries to pull away from me.

"Sire?" Spike jumps around quickly, stopping his dancing to stare at me.

I grab the girl I was dancing with, and in one quick movement sink my fangs into her throat. I suck furiously, until I hear her heart flutter and stop. I throw the dead body aside and snarl at the woman standing by my Childe.

"Mine!" I snarl at her, my fangs dripping the red blood of her friend.

"No..." she mumbles, too scared to do anything else. She tries to pull away from Spike’s grasp, for the first time she faces him and looks into his demon’s eyes. He snarls and sinks his fangs into her throat. There are screams around us now. Young girls and boys, running from us or tiptoeing away, or too scared to move. Bouncers run across the room, but I don’t have eyes for any of them. Only my Childe. My beautiful, evil Childe.

Spike finished his meal and drops the girl. He snarls at me, and laughs though blooded fanged teeth. We grab at each other, our bodies crushing together, our mouths searching out the other’s. Fanged teeth cut through lips and we share blood kisses. My hands on his ass grip him to me. I rub my hips into his and moan with the delightful pleasure of his body so close to mine. Spike is frantic with his caressing, his body rocking hard against me, his hands pulling at my shirt, my hair, trying to get closer.

"I wanna fuck you, Childe," I breathe into his mouth. We kiss again; two vampires clinging to each other on a blood spattered dance floor.

"Hey you!" a loud voice interrupts us. "What the fuck do you... Oh, shit!"

I break away from my Childe’s mouth and growl at the huge black bouncer. He’s just noticed the two dead bodies. There are more shouts around us, and screams of frightened young teenagers.

"Your kind ain’t fucking welcome here!" screams another bouncer.

"You have no idea who you’re talking too," I snarl back. I break away from Spike, and we stand back to back in a defensive position.

"What a blood sucking fag?" laughs the bigger man. He must have dealt with vampires before, because he pulls a long stake out from the back of his pants.

Well, I just have to laugh. He thinks he can take on my Childe and me?

"Bloody pillocks, eh mate," Spike chuckles into my ear.

"Dead pillocks," I correct him.

The slaughter didn’t take long. It’s just around an hour until most of the population of the nightclub are either dead, dying or run away. The last to die is the bouncer who insulted me. I ripped his tongue out, and nailed him to the bar before I set him alight. Oh, I have so missed this kind of mayhem. Having a soul means you miss out on the occasional bloodbath. Also it means missing out on the wonderful sensation of being gorged on human blood. I haven’t felt this strong for over a century.

"God, I’ve missed you," Spike breathes, as he suddenly crushes his mouth to mine. Then just as suddenly he jumps away from me as if burned.

"Spike," I answer, reaching out for him. I kiss him harshly, my face changing and my fangs slash my tongue. I push my blood into my Childe’s mouth, and he sucks hard. His hands grasp at my body, hugging me close.

It’s so strange. At this moment I don’t know who I am. Am I Angelus or Angel? I’ve just killed, but I don’t feel the same regret as I did before. Does that mean I’m Angelus? Yet, I don’t want to drag the world into hell. Does this mean I’m Angel? Spike makes me feel things, and I don’t want to punish him. He makes me feel warm, whole and desired. I want more of it. A feeling which Angel wanted but not Angelus. So just who am I? Angel with a touch of Angelus... Or Angelus with a touch of Angel... A demon who finally can love, or a soul that can finally kill?

"I want you," I mumble into his mouth. We kiss more softly now, little presses against each other lips. Soft and sweet - a strange delineation for two evil vampires, I know. Suddenly, Spike pushes me away and leans over a table. I grin when I get the idea. I reach around him and unzip his jeans, pushing them down his thighs, until I can slide my fingers into his tight hole.

I give a quick check around. No one’s here... well, bodies are but I don‘t think they will be interested. I pull out my own hard cock and slam it inside my Childe’s body. Our coupling is harsh, quick and desperate. I want to inside him and fill him full of me, smelling of me. I want my mark on him.

"Please...Sire...Angel..." Spike starts to grunt over and over. His body thrusting back into mine, violently. He called me Angel and yet that doesn’t anger me. When I feel my orgasm approaching I lean over his strong back, lick his throat, and when he screams in orgasm, I sink my fangs into his jugular. The bite is deep and hard, different from all my other bites. This is a marking bite. It will scar him, for all eternity. He will leave me, but he will always be with me. I will know he carries my mark, and no one else can have claim on him. He can go anywhere, fuck Buffy for all I care, but he’ll always be *mine*.

"Angelus!" Spike screams, as he realises what I’m doing. At first, I’m thinking he’s going to buck me off, but he doesn’t. In fact, if anything, he presses harder against my body. He wants me to own him. He wants to be mine. I scream in orgasm then, scream with joy and completion.

Spike’s POV:

Fucker’s marked me! Angelus fucking marked me! Okay, I was enjoying it at the time, but now as he pulls away the reality of the situation hits me. He marked me! For all eternity, I’ll carry my Sire’s bite. I’ll always smell a little like him. It makes us closer, and... Well, the truth is my anger is only on the surface. Underneath, I don’t know what I feel. A master vampire will only mark another for protection, or as a favourite Childe.

I pull away from Angelus, and quickly zip up my jeans. I’m shaking all over from the force of that orgasm, but I need answers. I look over at my Sire; his cock now limp as he sinks down into one of the chairs looking very pleased with himself. He reaches over the table next to him, and picks up someone’s forgotten wine.

"You marked me..." I gasp, staring at him. He’s so calm... so Angel like... yet not. Who the fuck is he? Angelus wouldn’t claim me as favourite Childe, would he? He has killed, slaughtered, fed, taken, but he doesn’t have the psychotic look in his eye as Sunnydale-Angelus did.

"I wanted you..." Angelus starts, whirling the wine in the glass. He takes a sip, but doesn’t answer.

"Why?"

"It’s time to go," he stands up and moves as fast as lightening over to me. He kisses my mouth harshly, and then he’s gone. And here I am standing flabbergasted and alone, in a bloodbath. I’ve almost forgotten my own desires for revenge. A part of me wants to follow Angel/us, and find out who and what the fuck he is. I want to know why he marked me? Why did he let me fuck him? Damn it, why does he always leave me so fucking excited, but also frustrated and confused at the same time.

My attention drifts when I hear the siren wail of police cars. It’s time to get the hell out of here. My next stop is going to be Sunny Sunnydale and a certain slayer. I laugh, following Angelus’ exit out of the building and into the night.

Spike’s revenge: Yep, it’s now time to carry out my dastardly revenge on Sunnyhell and co. I didn’t know how I was going to fulfil it, but Angel gave me an idea. I cleaned myself up, got rid of the leather and denim. I stole myself some normal looking clothing. Black slacks, T-shirt, soft muted grey pullovers and stuff. I even nicked a nice new car, one of those European ones, pretty cool looking, but respectable.

You see, my plan is simple. I tell Buffy my terrible tale of travelling to Africa, and finding a mojo chap to give me a soul just so I can love her. Just so I could be worthy of her love. That I could right all the wrongs I’ve done, and have real lovey dovey emotions. That I can brood, be regretful and work for my redemption! *Gag* But there you go. She’s bound to fall for it. Then the real killer moves in - she loves me, fucks me and then I up and leave her. I use her like she used me. I tell her she’s below me. I tell her... I had the best sex ever with Angel... No... No... that won’t work. For one it’s not true... It can’t be true because, then... Then I might just be a little gay... ARGHH! No... Totally into women. Love them! Sex with Angelus was on a Sire basis only.

He was kinda great, though. He was so fucking tight. He kisses like a dream, all teeth, tongue and lips. His hands... wow! His hands are amazing. They get everywhere. They touch as soft as silk, and the next minute he leaves you gasping as he wraps them around your cock and.... Whoa! Stop right there!

No. I tell her that I can’t love her. That Buffy is a... complete blond bimbo for letting that amazing piece of meat walk away from her. His cock is huge, and it fills you so completely. I bet he almost tore her in two that night... bitch! How could he fuck her? I mean he could have taken me... I...

No! I’ve just got to stick to the bloody plan... what was it again?

Angel’s revenge: First off Wesley has to die. I’ll break into his hospital room, drain him dry... no, I might just snap his neck. Then I’ll chop him into little pieces then mail them to Fred, then she’ll see just how much forgiveness I have.

Secondly, it’s time to pay back Gunn & Fred for... I wonder what Spike is doing? Is he fucking Buffy yet? Bitch! Maybe I should have stayed with him a while longer, there was a nice bloodbath, plenty of booze and blood for us to...

No... I’ll pay Gunn and Fred back for all the times they laughed at my pain. Expecting me to forgive the man that took my *son*. I’ll never forgive. I’ll drain them, then make sure they stay alive until Cordelia and that bastard idiot Groo gets back. Then I’ll rip Cordelia’s eyeballs out. For sending me on all those fucking waste of time visions. For giving hope when there wasn’t any. There wasn’t any redemption for me. The powers screwed me, and they’ll forever hang out this carrot of forgiveness, and it will never be mine. They give and you think maybe... maybe this is my forgiveness. Maybe I have made some difference, but no! The next second they rip your heart out, and take more than they ever give you. They strip you dry, they take and take and take... take Spike. Oh, I could make love to him in *my friends* blood. I wonder what his skin would be like covered in them. Soft and smooth. His body lithe, but so strong. Those muscles that flex and move as he thrusts into me were *so* amazing to watch. So beauti....

Next! I kill that idiot champion, Groo. Who does he think he is pissing on my pad? Just because he can walk in sunlight. Just because he can do all that while I can’t. I can’t love. I can’t be human. I can’t be with anyone. I’m not allowed to... I’m Angelus, who has to fucking pay every single day, for every single wrong that I ever committed, over and over again! Who has every thing I ever loved or wanted ripped from me. Buffy, Connor, love... Will... Oh, Will. My favourite Childe...

After that it’s going to be Wolfram & Hart’s turn. I’ll rip that bitch Lilah’s heart out... no wait, already killed her. She was sandwiched between my Childe and I... Spike’s mouth was so tasty filled with her blood, his tongue... No! Back to business... I’ll send every single employee personally to meet the senior partners in hell! I’ll burn them all. I’ll... I wonder if Spike will come back to LA? I wonder if he misses me?

No... It’s time to work. It’s time to go and kill myself a Watcher. Oh... Stripping Will, fucking Will... now that kind of watching would be nice.

Sunnydale - Spike’s POV:

What the hell is going on? I leave for what... a few days and the whole world goes to hell. I’ve discovered Tara is dead, Willow went on the rampage, Giles is back in town, and Dawn might be the next slayer! I tell ya, you can’t turn your back on this place. Nothing is where I left it. I walk over to Buffy’s house to find the whole gang staying there and recovering from a range of injuries. Buffy greets me all weepy-eyed, but strangely happy. I don’t even have to force her into my arms. She’s just there, as soon as I arrive. She flings herself on me, weeping tears of relief into my stolen clothing.

"I’m so sorry," she weeps. "I used you terribly. It was all me. I wanted to die; I wanted the world to end. I don’t... not anymore. There’s so much to live for." She hugs me and then realises that I’ve been missing. "Where have you been? I sent Dawn..."

I smile and silence her with a soft kiss. "I went to Africa, and fought many battles. I won, they gave me my hearts desire... they gave me my soul..." The words suddenly taste stale on my lips. They are empty words, with empty emotions for a girl I don’t really love.

I wanted her. I wanted her to fill the void inside me. She did, she made me feel almost alive again. She made me live, fight, dream, want, and desire. She made me burn for her body, her sex and her company. But I don't love her.

The plans I have for revenge feel suddenly fruitless. I was to love her, lie to her, tell her she was my sun and moon. Tell her my soul loved her with every waking moment. It’s all worthless. My revenge won’t hurt her - it will hurt me. It’s hurting me already. Here I am standing with the girl of my supposed dreams... and I’m thinking of someone else. I’m thinking about how Angel loved her. What Angel did with her. What Angel is doing right now? Is he thinking of me?

Suddenly, I push the Slayer from me. For a time, we were good together, but I’m not what she needs. She’s apart of the living and I’m not. I want death, violence and mayhem. I could have that with her, but I want it with someone else. I want to share my un-life with Angel... Angelus... well, whomever he is - I want him.

"Your *soul*?" Buffy repeats amazed. Her bright green eyes shining up at me. She touches my cheek gently and then slides her arm around my neck. Her jumper brushes against the mark of Angelus and a little trail of blood stains it. The touch sends shivers through my body, and I step away from her.

"I came to say goodbye," I mumble. Good grief! I’m a complete idiot. I should be taking this further. I should carry out my plan, but in my heart, I don’t want to. "I’m leaving; I have to find myself. You know with all these new emotions and stuff..." I laugh, humourlessly.

"No," she grabs my arm and pulls me nearer. "Spike, we can help you. I can." She looks down at her jumper and notices the blood. "Spike! You’re hurt." She pulls me into the kitchen, where Giles is getting a cup of tea. Buffy finds the first aid box, and grabs the alcohol and cotton balls. She’s about to clean my mark, but I step away.

"I’m sorry..." I mumble. I sound such a bloody wanker! Yet, I cannot find the words.

"It’s a bite," interrupts Giles, staring at my scabbing neck. "A mark," he whispers.

Damn, I should have known the watcher would know about that. Shit!! I immediately cover my neck with my hand and step away.

"A mark?" asks Buffy confused.

"Yeah," I answer.

"Drusilla’s mark?" inquires Giles, starting at me like I’ve just crawled out from under some rock.

"No, my Sire’s" I answer.

"But I thought Drusilla was your Sire?" Buffy asks confused.

"I lied... Angelus found us and he finished it..." I mumble, finally admitting the truth.

"Angel?" Buffy whispers. "You’ve seen Angel. But you said you went to Africa..." she trails off and I think she understands.

"Yeah, I’ve been to LA and Angel."

"You bastard!" She screams, "did you hurt him? What did you do to him?" She rages, grabbing up a kitchen knife and flying towards me. Giles is faster and pulls her back.

"Buffy, it’s not that kind of mark," he informs her, "It’s the mark of a favoured Childe." He stares at me, and suddenly I feel like 5 years old.

"I came to say goodbye," I mumble, "I’m going back to LA." Yeah, that’s right. I don’t need this crap. I can go to LA, search out Angel. "I’m going to work with Angel," I declare loudly, "You know, us soul-ed vampires have to stick together!" I laugh. Giles gives me a strange look, but doesn’t say anymore.

"You and Angel are friends?" asks Buffy, amazed.

"Yeah, well you know... Spike hated him, but I’m like... William, now...right and... Well, we get on like a house on fire..." I babble on.

Buffy looks up at me completely confused, but understanding at the same time. "You have to fight with Angel for your redemption." She then does the most amazing thing. She smiles at me. "Spike... William, I’m so happy for you. I hope you make it. I really do." She leans over and kisses my cheek, then merrily and completely oblivious to the truth, hops...well, and walks into the other room.

Giles gazes at me, a look of complete distaste and mistrust. "That was a load of crap, wasn’t it," he growls at me, sitting down with his tea.

"Yep," I answer truthfully. For a human, he’s damn good at working out the truth.

"You don’t have a soul, but you did see Angel..." he confirms, confused.

"Nah, no soul for me, mate, you know that. I’m still Spike, but things have changed."

"Angel has taken you as favoured Childe," he comments again. If he knows all this, why keep saying it.

"Yeah, yeah. I went to see the old man, we shagged each other blind and then he claimed me."

"Is he Angelus?"

"Haven’t a clue, mate." Well, it is true. I don’t think even my Sire knows that.

"Will you kill Buffy and the others?"

Ah, that’s what he’s concerned about. He’s wondering if Angelus is coming back here to rid the world of the best slayer ever.

"No, he has his own problems," I answer. I lean over and look Giles in the eye. "Look, you never tell Buffy the truth, and I promise never to return here. Angel or me."

He considers a long moment, but nods sincerely. "Okay, I won’t tell her anything about either of you, but if you ever come back here - I will kill you." Giles calmly picks up his cup of tea and walks into the living room.

I smile. Yep, it’s time to get the hell of Sunnydale and find m’ old Sire. I went looking for revenge, but something strange happened on the way. I fell in love. With Angel/us of all people. I wonder what he’s doing?

Angelus’s (or even Angel’s - who knows?) POV:

Wesley’s home. Here I stand outside the door, un-wanting or unable to knock. I just stand here, still... waiting. I don’t know why. Inspiration? The desire to kill him for taking my son? The need for revenge? Or the need to understand? No... I’ve got to keep my head straight about this. I go in there and I kill him. It’s a plain and simple plan. Go in and kill him. He took something from me and now I take his life.

Yet, I cannot knock. I cannot break the door down. Something is stopping me. My soul? I don’t know. I haven’t a clue who or what I am. I’ve killed this night and I don’t regret doing it. But I cannot break down this door and kill the man I know is shivering inside.

I can hear him moving about. I’m silent; I don’t need to breathe or move. I can listen to his every movement. I can hear his heart beating, shivering because I don’t think he can afford the heating. I can hear him... I know he’s there... and I cannot move.

Suddenly, the door opens and a haggard looking Wesley stands there in the doorway. "I knew you’d come," he says, his voice a harsh whisper. His throat still looks sore, and the wound will leave a lovely scar. "I’ve been waiting..."

"Have ye now," I say in my broadest Irish accent.

That frightens him. I smell a sudden whiff of fear, but then it’s quickly suppressed. He knows what vampire senses are like. He knows I smell him, hear him, feel him...

"You’ve come to kill me," he rasps, his eyes showing the slightest hint of confusion. No... Not confusion about me killing him, but just who is standing at his door.

"Hmm..." I hum. I take a step forward, and no barrier stops me. He hasn’t done a reversal spell, his offer of welcome into his home still stands. I enter freely. Wesley steps back, and for the first time I notice him. His face is drawn, he is unshaven, his clothing dishevelled and he has a slight whiff of uncleanness. It’s clear he’s not looking after himself... yet, I cannot understand why. I look across his apartment, and notice the boxes that Fred packed for him from the office. There was pottery and books, all broken and ripped across the floor.

"Angelus..." Wesley asks. He’s beginning to look a little nervous.

"Ah...that’s the question..." I laugh, my voice returning to normal. It’s been so long since I’ve had an Irish accent, that it sounds so strange falling from my lips. "Tell you the truth...I don’t know!" I laugh harshly, and it causes Wesley to jump back slightly.

"I...I..." Wesley stutters, looking around, I assume, for a weapon.

I step forward, until we are face to face. I stare into his eyes, we are the same height and our faces are level. I want to say something to him. I want to tell him what I have planned for his grisly death. Yet, that isn’t the question that comes out of my mouth. It’s...

"Why?"

"What?" Wesley stutters, definitely looking a little pale.

"Why!" I yell into his face. "Was it because you were jealous? That I could have a son, is that it? Because believe me, Wesley, I don’t know. I don’t understand! Why the fuck did you take him? Why?!" I grab his shirt and pull him nearer. He doesn’t even try to fight. "It’s because of the demon, isn't it! You never trusted me. You lied to me. You lied to me on Pylea. You wanted to destroy what I had, because you believed I wasn’t worthy! You took him from me!" I’m screaming now. It feels like my heart... my soul is being ripped from me all over again. I want to kill him. I want to wrap my hands around his scarred neck and twist. It would be so easy. I’ve done it so many times before. Just crush...

"You never gave me a chance," he sobs. "You know why I lived after Justine slit my throat? To tell you. I needed to live to see my friends again. To explain to the people I trusted... and loved... my side of what happened. You never gave me a chance."

"You took my son! You let me say goodbye to him. You told me just for one night. We were alone... there where so many fucking chances you had to tell me! You didn’t. You lied and never told me a fucking thing!" I scream. My head is pounding, and I know I’m in vamp face.

"It wasn’t... the right... moment..." he gasps through his tears.

"How many fucking moments do you need!" I scream... then I step back. Well, stumble really. For the first time in so many days, I don’t know what to do. I wanted to kill them all. I wanted my soul gone. I wanted revenge. The trouble is... Wesley is already suffering. I can see it. It’s all around me, his broken beloved tea set, and his physical state... Wesley is suffering in so many ways, in ways deeper than any pain I could give him.

"I thought I was saving him... and you. I thought just by taking him away for a little while, just to make sure he would live. I couldn’t face you killing him, Angel. It would have destroyed you. I knew you’d end your own existence if anything happened to him. I knew you loved him with every part of your being. I wanted to save you from that. I wanted to save you both. I didn’t know... I never dreamed the prophecy would be false. I’ve spent so much of my life studying them," he laughs bitterly, "They were almost like a bible to me, a map to the future, and how I could help the people I... loved."

Wesley collapses onto his sofa as he finishes his speech. I’m completely frozen as he tells me what he‘d been thinking when he took my son. Now, I just collapse into a chair opposite him. Then I start to laugh. I can’t help it... and I can’t stop either. The laugher is hysterical, the sound of a mad man. Which I might well be. Since I don’t know if I have a soul or not. Or if I am Angelus or Angel.

"Angel..." Wesley asks a little startled. He’s looking much more worried that he was before. I’ve gone and done something completely unexpected.

I move as fast as any vampire my age and in seconds I have him pinned to the sofa. The length of my body presses against his. He gives a little girly scream as I crush him under my weight. I look down into his wide, terrified eyes. He’s thinking if now is the moment I’m going to kill him. Am I going to drain him dry or snap his neck? I can almost hear him wondering what his death might be. He’s going to be wrong on all counts. Because I lean over and... kiss him.

Not just a peck on the cheek, either. No. I press my lips to his, and try to push my tongue into his mouth. Wesley struggles under me, his hands beating against my back. I rest my full weight upon him, and he gasps, allowing my tongue into his mouth. It has been so long since I’ve kissed a warm, mortal mouth. My hands clutch at his hair, tilting his head just right so my tongue can penetrate deeper. He moans, gasping under me, his struggling becoming desperate as he tries to breath. His hands tear at me even more frantically as I rub my hardening length into his thigh.

Suddenly, I pull away from his mouth, my face rippling from human to vampire, from vampire to human. He stares up at me with uncomprehending eyes.

"You really don’t know who you are, do you?" he gasps.

It was a question I didn’t expect. I was expecting him to beg for his life, or for me not to rape him... something along those lines. Not that question. He reaches out gently and touches my face. It feels like my skin cannot decide what it is demon or human. It’s actually starting to hurt.

"Angel?" he asks calmly.

I tremble above him. "I don’t... don’t..." I mumble. My head is throbbing, and I feel the bloodlust start to burn through me. The demon wants to feed, and yet... I can’t! I feel something else burning its way into my brain - grief. I feel my eyes starting to sting and a drop of water drips onto Wesley’s face. His arms hold me, but one hand moves away and touches my face. He wipes away the tears with his fingertips.

"It’s okay, Angel. It’s okay to grieve," he whispers. He rolls us over, so we lay face to face along his sofa. He holds me tight, strong human arms wrap around me and I bury my face into his shoulder. My body is wracked with the sobs of my pain. The pain of grief, of opportunities I’ll never have with my son. I’ll never see him grow up. I’ll never see his teenage tantrums. I’ll never have the joy of grandchildren. I blamed Wesley for all of this. The truth is... it was no body’s fault. Not mine and not his. We both wanted what was best for Connor.

Connor. It’s the first time I’ve been able to even think his name without breaking down. Now, I’m filled with all the memories I have of him. All the love I felt - the soul and the demon felt.

"I miss him," I weep into Wesley’s arms.

"I know. I do too," he reassures me, kissing my forehead.

It’s morning and I awaken before Wesley. We’re still entwined on the sofa, his head now resting on my chest in sleep. I feel warm and I don’t want to leave his heat. I do, however. I’m hungry, and strangely I don’t want to eat him. So I eat his next door neighbour. I never even thought about doing it. It was just like my body was on automatic. I was hungry - I killed. I try and figure out what I feel about that, but I can’t make sense of the emotions and sensations that fill my brain. So I push them away. To help me think straight I make breakfast - for Wesley. I did have to steal a few items from the now dead neighbour, but in the end I make a good English breakfast.

Wesley slowly opens his eyes to see a plate full of eggs, bacon, and fried bread. He rubs his sleep-blurred eyes, and then they find mine. He’s surprised I’m still here, and he’s still alive. Then he seems to accept the situation and starts to eat his breakfast.

"I’ll never understand how you can be a good cook, Angel," he says with his mouth full of bacon.

"I like the smell, but it doesn’t taste of much," I comment, as I continue to watch him. He smiles lightly at me and I get a strange warmth inside. I know now that I don’t want to kill him. I want him...

"Can I fuck you, Wesley?" I ask, leaning over and gazing into his deep hazel eyes.

"What?!" Wesley chokes out. He coughs but manages to swallow his bacon.

"Would you want me to?" I question, my eyes turning from dark brown to deep gold. I want to watch him squirm. I want him to... wait, what am I doing?

"No!" he yells. He watches me closely and notes the changes. He calms himself remarkably quickly and sits back down. He surprises me, because he doesn’t smell afraid. "Angel, who did you sleep with?" he inquires casually, as he continues to eat his breakfast.

"Spike," I answer directly. "I claimed him too."

"Did you lose your soul?"

"I don’t... don’t know..." I answer slowly. I try and search inside for an answer, but I can’t really say. I still feel that Wesley is my friend and I want his friendship. At the same time I look back at what I’ve done, and I don’t feel any guilt or regret. I’ve killed, murdered, and fucked Spike in human blood. I just don’t care anymore. I want to feel what I felt with Spike. I want his fire, his strength surrounding me. I want to bask in his light. Yes, I know he’s evil, murderous and all that, but I want to...

"Fuck!"

"Huh?" asks Wesley again, a little more concerned this time.

"I claimed, Spike!" I shout, "I love him!"

I feel dizzy and scared all at the same time. I’m not angsty, but I can still love? Can Angelus the demon love, or was that only Angel’s domain. That’s the big question isn’t it - who am I? Angelus? Angel? Neither or both?

"Look, I think it’s best we both went back to the Hyperion, and..." Wesley starts speaking, but I really don’t pay any attention until he says ‘Hyperion’.

"No!" I jump to my feet and start to pace. Something burns inside me. I don’t want to see them. My supposed human friends. It was only Wesley who was ever truthful to me. All the others... well, ever since my little tiff with Darla, all I do is suck up to them. At least with Wesley I always knew where I stood, and what he thought of me. Unlike Cordelia, especially. She says she’s not my friend. Then she belittles my love for Buffy. I’m so fucking tired of trying to please them. So tired of putting on a ‘happy face’ just so I don’t get the - "Angel, stop brooding again!" line. Now, I just don’t care. The demon in me wants to punish them. I want to... kill them or just beat them raw? I haven’t decided yet.

"Angel, they need to know what is happening..."

"NO! I don’t want to see them!"

"You want to kill them, don’t you? Just like you want to kill me," he comments, cleaning up his plate. It’s so amazing that he can be so calm with a vampire that might or might not kill him at any second.

"I don’t want to kill you. I’m just not... I don’t think I’m Angel anymore. I can’t be him for them again."

"No plans to drag the world into hell?" inquires Wesley, as he takes his now empty plate into the kitchen.

"Why does everyone have to drag that up? One little slip up and everyone throws it into my face forever," I grumble.

"Angel, seriously," Wesley turns to face me, and surprisingly he puts his hand on my arm, "I can’t let you kill them. They are... well, were my friends. I don’t want them dead, just as I don’t want you dead. But I just can’t..."

"I won’t kill them," I promise, "I might play with them a little," I grin at his shocked face, but he accepts my word.

"So what are we going to do?" He asks grabbing his books.

"First off, you are not going to re-soul me."

"I think the soul is still there," he replies.

Yeah, well not so sure about that. "Second, I like working for you. You pay me and I help, but nothing more. The rest of my time is mine, and also nobody stakes me for eating dinner. I just won’t kill anyone we help."

Wesley stares at me for a long moment. I don’t think he expected me - Angelus - to want to work for him. The truth is I like the work. I like fighting, beating people up and working at Angel Investigations. It allows me all the violence I could ever desire.

"You want to be my employee... my muscle?" he asks, dropping the book on the floor.

"Yes." I grab up my coat. I have business to attend to, also I’m hungry, and I don’t think he’ll like me killing all his neighbours. "You have Angel Investigations, do whatever you want with it." I walk towards him and put on my darkest scowl. "You tell them I won’t hurt them, but they stay out of my way. I only work for you."

"Okay," he squeaks. I know that deep down Wesley’s whole life evolves around Angel Investigations and me. If he was denied that, there would be nothing more for him.

"I have my cell phone. You want me, you know the number. Otherwise, I have a favoured Childe to find," I smirk at him, and leave, closing the door behind me. Just before I go, I smell the sudden whiff of arousal... hmmm... going to have to remember that Wesley likes the tough Angelus side.

Spike’s POV:

I’m back in LA and the same hotel room that I shagged Angel in. I arrived early this morning and half expected Angel to be here waiting for me. He wasn’t. So I killed the bellhop, and sat and sulked for half the day. I was thinking of leaving when there was a sudden knock on the door. I wanted it to be Angel.

"Mr Spike?" A young man stands outside the hotel door, looking a little nervous. I know why - he’s a minion vampire and I‘m his elder. "Angelus sent me," he mumbles, scared to death. Oh, that’s why. He’s not scared of me but Angelus. I wonder if he’s planning on sending the world into hell, yet?

"What the fuck do you want?" I snap back.

The young vampire swallows nervously and hands me a key. It’s to a room down the hall. "Angelus wants you to meet him here," he tells me. The vampire then turns and runs down the hall as if the devil himself was chasing him.

What the fuck is going on? I turn the key over in my hands and just stand there dumb struck. Why didn’t Angelus come here himself. Why send a minion? Does this mean he is Angelus and no longer Angel? Damn it, I have to understand. I need to know who he is and if he wants me. I want the person I shagged in this room. I want the vampire Sire that hunted with me, that fucked and claimed me in the middle of a bloodied dance hall. I want the man that let me make love to him for the first time.

I’ve decided to take a chance. I walk down the corridor to the door number that matches the key. Outside, I pause a moment. If I go in there is no turning back. I either fight him or... What? I sigh, and unlock the door.

Stepping inside it’s dark and there are just a few candles burning around the room. That certainly breaks hotel regulations. I smell a strong scent of honeysuckle, and under that something more... Angelus’ arousal. And what a sweet smell it is. I’m drawn across the room, but I still can’t see him. What is he doing? I look around and nothing. Where the fuck is he?

I sit down on the bed and touch a naked foot. What the... I jump to my feet and turn to face the bed.

"Holy shit!" I shout. This is unbelievable. No... I have to be dreaming. This can’t be real. There is Angelus chained to the bed. He’s spread-eagled on the bed, his limbs chained to the four corner posts. He’s totally naked too. His long hard cock, fully erect and pressing into his stomach. His body relaxed and then I look up into his face. He’s smiling at me!

"What... What..." I stutter.

Angelus rolls his eyes, and then laughs softly. "Is that all you can say?"

"But... But..." Good grief, I sound like a complete dimwit. I just can’t get over the sight of my Sire chained to the bed. Angelus has chained himself to the bed! You know my batty Sire, who tried to send the world into hell; is chained to the BED!

"What are you waiting for, Will?" he asks, smirking at me. "I’m waiting here for you to claim me."

"Fuck!" I cry. In one second, I strip off my clothing and stand before him as naked as he is. He smiles again, and I see a shadow of Angel in his eyes. I wonder who he is. I wonder... What the hell, I’m just going to go with what comes. If he is Angelus or even Angel, I don’t care. He’s chained to the bed, (which I really can’t process just yet,) and wanting me to claim him. ME! His Childe, Spike.

"Will," he begins, but I stop him by holding up my hand.

"No talking luv," I grin. If possible Angelus cock becomes even more erect. Oh, he likes a little domination, does he? I lean down and pick up my jeans. He is looking a little confused, but smirks as I pull out my belt. I wrap the end around my hand and walk around the bed. "You left me." I tell him. "You deserted me. I won’t let you ever do that again."

"Never," he whispers. His large dark eyes staring into mine, burning with lust.

"You claimed me, without my permission. You fucked me, and then left me. You’ll never do that again." I swing the belt down hard, and it slaps against his naked chest.

"Ohhh...Never, Will" he cries. "I’ll never leave you!" I whip him again, this time harder and leaving a beautiful line of bloody welts along his chest.

"You are mine!" I scream, as my belt impacts with his flesh again. He arches off the bed, and moans. Damn, he’s so fucking beautiful. Angelus feeds off pain, and he’s getting off on my domination of him. I wonder if he can love like Angel did too. I whip him a few more times, and watch as I leave bloody marks across his perfect skin. Finally, I throw the belt aside, and kneel beside him on the bed.

"Angel?" I ask. He just grunts as I run my hand over his wounds. I bring it to my mouth and lick away his powerful blood. He has a strange taste. He doesn’t taste like he did before when we first shagged. I can taste his latest victim, but I can also taste something emotional there.

"I love you, Spike," he sighs, his eyes closing as I touch him again. He arches into my touch, and moans as my fingers once again slide over his bloodied chest.

It was love I taste in his blood. For me... He loves me. Which means he can’t be Angelus, and yet he killed which means he can’t be Angel.

"Who are you?" I ask, as my fingers dig into the slash marks.

"Willlll...." he moans, his eyes closing in pleasure with the pain I’m causing him. "I am yours," he answers.

Oh, what the hell! Does it really matter who he is? He promised to stay with me. He promised to love me, and that’s all I want from him. Forget about forgiveness and revenge, they don’t matter. This matters. Him and me. That’s all there is. The outside world can go to hell for all I care. I have this man to call my own forever!

With one movement, I’m straddling his hips, and kissing him fully on the lips. His mouth opens wide for me, and I slip my tongue inside. He has fed recently, and I clean his mouth of all residues. I need to fuck him. I need to be inside my beloved when I claim him. I reluctantly pull away from his mouth, and turn around. His legs are stretched wide open, a good position but not what I want. I want him to hold me while I take him. With a quick tug, I break the chains holding his ankles.

"What?" he mumbles, his eyes opening and staring confused into mine. "I thought..." His words trail off as I bend his legs and push them up against his chest. He finally grins when he understands what I want.

I position my weeping cock at his entrance. This is going to hurt him, but pain to a vampire is just another turn on. My fingers press against his tight, almost virgin-like opening, and he grunts softly.

"Oh, yes... Will..." he moans.

I push in two fingers, one from each hand, and hook them inside. I pull his anus apart, and he screams in pain. When I’ve parted him, I position myself at the reddened entrance and slam inside.

"Fuck! Yes! Will!" he yells. He writhes on the bed under me. His body trembling with the strength of my entry, and the passion that overtakes him.

"Wrap your legs around me," I pant. He’s so tight I could have come when I entered him. I stare down into his pleasured face as he follows my command. His long legs wrap around my waist and holds me to him. I lean down over his body, his cock crushed between us. I really want to start thrusting, but I need something first. Finally, we are pressed chest to chest, and I look directly into his lusty eyes.

"You’ll be mine?" I ask.

"Yes," he pants out. His body begging me to take him. "Please, Will..." he moans. His hips try and thrust up against mine, but I don’t move.

"You’ll never leave me, ever. I’ll come first before all your human pets." I won’t have him leaving me again. I’m laying down the law this time. I’m not the young fledgling Angelus left over a century ago. I am a master vampire, and he will start treating me as an equal.

"Yes, only you Will. I love only you. I’ll never see them again if you don’t want me too."

"You’ll hunt with me, kill with me. You’ll wear my mark forever."

"Yes!" he cries out. "Please Will, please fuck me..." His body bucks under me, trying to get some movement in. He moans loudly as my cock presses harder against his prostate. "Fuck me... fuck me..." he starts to chant.

Damn, if he isn’t so gorgeous and all mine too! Well, I am his as well. I wear his mark. He’ll be wearing my mark, too. We will do something vampires hardly ever do. We’ll mate. Most vampires never even think of mating with another. Most vampires don’t have souls, feelings, and love. I’ve come to realise that Angel and me aren’t like most vampires. We are unique. I don’t have a soul, but I feel love and desire. Angel has a soul, but he can kill and fuck me in the blood of others. We belong together. Forever!

With one swift movement, I bury my fangs into his corded throat, and orgasm as his blood fills my mouth. Angel howls in anger, his cock still hard and dripping onto my chest. I make sure my teeth cut firmly into his throat and I know it’s going to scar. I don’t understand how marking works, but sometimes when a vampire bites another, if we want it to scar it just does. And I want my scar to be very deep and predominate on Angel’s throat. Just as his is on mine.

"Will!" he screams, wanting desperately to come.

I feel my cock growing harder again inside him, the hard shaft pushing against his prostate. He moans and bucks beneath me. Finally, I pull my mouth away from his throat and howl. Passion over takes my body and I withdraw from his anus, then thrust back in with punishing force. Angel yells in pleasure, as I rip into him. His cool blood flowing over my cock. I pull out and then thrust in, again and again.

"Yes... Yes..." he starts to chant.

I laugh at this heavenly looking creature below me. He’s mine. Just as I am his. Forever. Suddenly, Angel cums, his wad covering my chest. He growls deeply, as his eyes turn from brown to deep gold. He bares his fangs, begging me to take him hard. I crush his body to the bed, his arms pulled taut, and the muscles budging. I pound harder inside him, hitting his perfect place, and feel his length harden against me. I know I’m going to climax soon, and when I do I want him to follow me.

"Mine!" I howl.

"Mine!" he growls back.

With a couple more flesh rendering thrusts, I spill inside him again. It’s a wonderful feeling, as my cum floods his tight passage and drips out onto the bed. My smell is embedded within him for eternity.

My hand takes hold of Angel’s hard penis and with a couple of pumps he yells his release and covers my hand. He collapses back against the bed; my softening cock still intimately connected to him. He pants, his body still trembling from the aftermath of his powerful orgasm. I fall down beside him, aching with my spent passion.

"Unchain me," he whispers.

"Nope," I grin. He gives me a harsh look, and pulls on the chains. They look stronger than the ones around his ankles. I broke those easily, but these are withstanding Angel’s struggles.

"Spike, unchain me!" he commands, his voice rising.

"No way, I haven’t finished yet." I let my hardening cock slip from his torn passage, and replace it with four fingers. Angel howls, his struggles interrupted with loud moans as I thrust my fingers in and out of him. "You haven’t learned all the joys of sex, yet."

"I’ve been doing it far longer that you have, boy!" he growls back. His face a picture of passion and anger.

"But I’m your first," I answer sweetly, "We haven’t done rimming, fisting, or even butt plugs, yet."

"Childe!" he yells furiously. "Let me up!"

"Nope," I answer happily, as I slip my thumb inside him. I sit back and stare at my hand disappearing inside my Sire’s body. Angel thrashes and arches of the bed as I curl my fingers into a fist. I watch in amazement at how fast his erection returns. He’s really into this. I start a hard rhythm, increasing slowly in strength, until I’m pounding my knuckles against his throbbing prostate. He screams and spills his opaque seed across his chest.

"Spike!"

That’s it! Scream my name. Beg me to stop. I won’t. I plan to just keep going. I continue to thrust inside him, and decide that I’m going to keep this up all night. Angel, or even Angelus, is going to learn just whom he belongs to. He’ll never leave me. I am his and he’ll know he’s mine.

Forever!

Wesley’s Diary:

It’s amazing how things never turn out how you expect them too. It’s been two months since I’ve returned to running Angel Investigations. It was hard to begin with. I had to explain my actions to everyone. Cordelia and Groo were all a little confused about what had been happening. Fred and Gunn were disapproving of what I had done, but truthfully I don’t care what any of them think. I did what I thought was right. My concern was not for them, but for Angel and Connor’s well being. I couldn’t bear anything happening to them. It is true what Angelus thinks about me. I love him. I always have.

The worse part was when I informed the rest of AI about what had happened to Angel. At first Gunn and Cordelia were ready to go hunt him down and kill him. I explained to them that Angel still had his soul, but had chosen a new path. He has chosen to be with Spike, his Childe. They couldn’t understand that. They became even more infuriated when Angel arrived to help me with a case, with Spike hanging around him. Well, hanging on his body, would be more correct. It became clear that both vampires’ had claimed each other, just by the way they touched, kissed and groped each other. It became annoying because they did it all the time. But I think it was only to hurt the others, only to drive the stake home so to speak, that Angel had moved on and only wanted Spike. It was the first time I’d ever seen a mated pair. They are very scarce or so I believe.

Angelus/or Angel didn’t mix with any of his old friends. He helped out, fought and killed with great efficiency anyone I sent him after. I paid him, and then both he and Spike would disappear until I called them again. The strange thing is... I’ve never seen him so happy. He is complete with Spike. They are complete together. Each partner compliments the other. They are in truth one being.

Connor returned a few weeks after Angel and Spike were reunited. Father and son gave each other a cold reception, but Angel did tell him, no matter what, he’d always love him. After that Connor came to live with me. Angel comes around at times to visit him. They talk a little, but Connor doesn’t trust him. At one point we discovered Holtz dead, and Connor believed his father had killed him. This was disproved when I discovered Angel and Spike had killed a few junkies on other side of the city at the time, and Connor accepted the truth. After that I sent Angel out to kill Justine, and the problems with Connor disappeared over night. He and his father are relearning about each other. Connor even enjoys Spike’s company of all people. To me, Angel has given me the greatest gift. His son. Connor lives with me and I have become like an uncle to him.

Sometimes, I miss the family I once had. With Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, and Fred. Things have changed as they always do and now I have a new family. I have Connor, Angel/us and Spike. I run Angel Investigations and then I come home to them. Angel and Spike have recently taken to appearing at my flat. Maybe so Angel can spend time with Connor, but I don’t know for sure. Also, it would be the first time I have awakened sandwiched between two cool bodies. I’m not saying if anything else happened, it would be un-gentlemanly of me. Let’s just say that sometimes it’s just nice to watch...

It’s strange how Angel has given up on revenge and forgiveness. He lives for Spike and has found a kind happiness. After all, he is a vampire, and he’s happier being true to his nature. Yes, he hunts, kills and rejoices in the blood with Spike, but he still helps me fight evil. He’s reliable and always there. Which is really strange for an almost evil bloodsucking vampire. Yet, I couldn’t bear to see him return to what he once was. An ensoul-ed vampire who suffered the weight of too much grief and pain...

I pause with my pen resting against the page. Maybe I should talk about my relationship with him. Then again the watchers would never understand that. I still write my diary. I write about Connor, Spike and Angel. They are my family now.

"Wesley, the beds getting cold!" whines Angelus from the other room. I hear him and Spike grunt and moan together. I know what they are doing, just as Connor must in his bedroom across the hall. He complains heavily about his father’s sexual activities. He’s asked for soundproofing more than once.

I put down my pen. The diary can wait, at this moment I want to feel the heat of passion that Spike and Angel create in me. I want to be with my family.

Forever.

The End.