Title: Thoughts

Author: Belynda

Fandom: Buffy

Pairing: Xander/Angel

Series: Part 1 in I Love You Dead Boy

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Xander does some thinking about Dead Boy.

Archiving: Yes to CKoS.

Series: Part 1 in the I Love You Dead Boy series.

Disclaimer: Buffy does not belong to me so don't sue.

Feedback: Belynda - belindat@ihug.co.nz

Notes: Unbetaed. Written in a hour - that says it all (had to do something other than archiving for a change). No flames - I'm still recovering from the Flame I received in 1992. Not!

by Belynda

"Xander. Xander!"

Jerking in surprise and rubbing his arm where Willow had just hit him, Xander blinked in confusion. "What was that for? Is it a beat up Xander day and no one told me about it? I'm still recovering from Buffy hitting me this morning." Wincing at *that* memory, Xander focused his attention onto his best friend.

"Like, I have only been talking to you for the last ten minutes and you haven't heard one word that I have said. What's with you today anyway? You've been spacing out all day. More so than usual." She grinned, feeling better already now that she could tease her friend.

"I don't know Will. I guess I'm just thinking about stuff."

"Oh? What kind of stuff?"

Tilting the half full glass of warm coke back and forth between his hands, he focused on the straw as it swayed within the cup. "I don't know. Every day stuff ya'know. Like life. Death. Vampires." With the last word falling from his lips, he looked over to where Buffy and Angle were dancing. The couple seemed obvious to what was happening around them as they moved slowly to the beat of the music.

Willow watched as the couple danced close together. "Vampires. Can't live with them, can't live without them."

"Yeah..." Xander once again forgot about Willow as he watched the couple. Buffy was wearing a shoe string crop top and a pair of satin pants. Angel was dressed in all black. As usual.

He couldn't help noticing the grace with which Angel moved. Like a cat. Sensual. *Sensual! Where did that come from?* Xander thought fanatically as his eyes zipped around the room, landing any where but on the dancing couple. *I didn't mean to say that. I meant sleek. Yeah, sleek. Sleek is good. Like a car, smooth lines, great looking exterior, nice body.... did I just think what I thought I thought? I don't think that Dead Boy has a nice body. I didn't. He doesn't. I...*

*He does... Great. Just great. Now I'm finding Dead Boy cute. Great Xand. Ruin another night. What am I thinking? Dead Boy is over there dancing with my friend. If either of them knew what I was thinking, they would kill me. Hell, I would kill myself before I let them find out that I'm attracted to Dead Boy....*

*Okay Xand. This is were you jump into the grave you've just made for your self. I am not attracted to Dead Boy. I'm just not going to be. Because I said so of course. I mean it this time. I will not be attracted to Dead Boy. I forbid myself. Cool, now I'm forbidding myself. Great. Just great.*

Shifting his seat, he let his eyes fall onto the dancing couple as he resumed his conversation with himself. *It's not as if this is my fault either. No, it's his. Dead Boy. It's all his fault. I know it. He knows it... Well, he doesn't know it, but it is all his fault. Standing over there. Looking like a God. Dark, mysterious, sexy. Oh. Sexy. Yeah, I can dig that. Dead Boy *is* sexy in a vampire kind of way.*

*Okay. This talk is going to far. I'm going to stop thinking about Dead Boy and how sexy he is. I'm going to stop it right now.* Taking a sip of the warm coke, he watched as the couple parted and Dead Boy walked out the back entrance. *Hello. What is happening here? He can't walk out on me. Why? Just because. Because why? Will you just shut up? Dead Boy is leaving the building and I have to tell him that I don't find him attractive. And hopeful he won't kill me.*

Getting up, he mumbled something to Willow and Buffy who had just sat down. He quickly exited the building. Scanning the area, he couldn't see any sign of Dead Boy. "Great. Now he does a runner. Typical. Just typical. Men..."

"Talking to your self Xander?"

Spinning in a very uncool way, Xander gasped at the dashing figure of Dead Boy as he stood in front of him. "Don't do that man! You almost gave me a heart attack. And I'm just too young for that."

"Xander." Angel sighed. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well. I came out to see you actually. I wanted to talk. About things." *Wow. Blow him over with that great line.*

"Sure, I've got time. What did you want to talk about? I hope it isn't about Buffy again. I've told you, we're taking it slow." They had indeed talked about this many times.

Shifting his feet, he edged closer, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought about what he was going to say. As it was, he didn't see how Angel's eyes darken in lust as he watched Xander's mouth.

"Okay. This is kind of hard. I'm not sure how I'm going to say this. Maybe if I thought about it some more -"

"Xander."

One word from Dead Boy and he stopped muttering. "Okay. I just wanted to tell you that I am not and never will be attracted to you. I just wanted to make that clear. I'll go back in now." Meaning to do just that, he was unprepared for Dead Boy grabbing his arm and hauling his body up against his.

Just as he was unprepared for the kiss that followed. Sweet, tender, and unsatisfying. Eager for more, and forgetting his talk that he had with himself, he wrapped his arms around Dead Boy neck and kissed with everything he had.

Tongues stroking and sliding against one another's. One hot and one cold. Hips rubbing against one another's. Hands clutching where they could. Obvious to the fact that they stood in a alley way making out.

And they were. Making out. No other word could describe it. And they both wanted more.

A horn blasted near by, breaking the couple apart. Xander, lips wet and panting like he had just won a race, slowly backed away from the other man. Shaking his head in disbelieve, he made contact with the door behind him and zoomed through it before the other man could stop him.

Standing there in the dark alley, a sly smile snaked across the vampires face. "Tomorrow, Xander. Tomorrow." Then he turned and left.

The End

My first Buffy fic. What did you think? Please be kind.