Title: Unsure

By Law

Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Everyone mentioned here belongs to Joss Whedon, FOX and UPN.

Feedback: You know it. law@losttimes.net

Archiving: Take. Just let me know.

Warnings: Whole lotta fluff.

Timeline: early Season 4.

Summary: Spike and Xander start a tentative relationship.


Unsure
By Law

Xander tried to pay attention to the movie, tried to remember the plot of the movie he’d been watching for the last hour, but when Spike had slowly slid his own fingers between Xander’s ten minutes into the movie, all attempts at paying any attention to anything but Spike was gone. The boys occasionally glanced at each other then quickly looked away when the other noticed, their hands ‘accidentally’ brushing against each other when they both reached for popcorn from the large tub.

“Xander, movie’s over.” Spike asked. Xander looked at the vampire, blinking, as he registered what Spike had said. “Time for me to do the gentlemanly thing and walk you home.”

Xander scoffed as he walked out of the theatre with Spike. “Since when were you a gentleman?” Spike had the decency to look offended.

“I’ll have you know I was a gentleman before I was turned. Wrote poetry and everything.”

Xander turned his head, looking at Spike with genuine surprise. “Seriously? Can I see some?”

Spike shook his head adamantly as they crossed the street, heading for Xander’s apartment. “There’s no way I’m showing you any of it.”

Xander quickly moved in front of Spike, stopping the vampire with a hand to the chest. “Why not?”

“Because they’re sodding personal, that’s why.” Spike glowered at Xander, his lips curling into a small smile, letting Xander know he wasn’t angry at his insistence. “Look, they’re not that good. And then you wouldn’t want a third date, would ya?”

Xander shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, the prospect of a third date making him nervous. “So there could be a third date?”

“Only if I get to choose what we do.” Spike glanced at Xander, seeing the young man fidget nervously. “You had a good time? With the movie?”

Xander smiled as he turned his head to look Spike in the eyes. “Yeah, it was good. The movie, I mean.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way to Xander’s apartment, Xander tentatively holding onto Spike’s hand. They came to a stop outside the door to Xander’s apartment, the scene reminiscence of their last date two nights ago when they’d almost kissed, but an interfering neighbour had gotten in the way and ruined the moment.

Spike’s lips ghosted over Xander’s, silencing the teenager who was about to invite Spike inside. Xander unconsciously leaned into Spike’s touch, the vampire’s hand trailing along Xander’s arm.

Spike broke the kiss, his lips still very close to Xander’s. “So I’ll let you know about the date.”

Xander nodded as much as he could without head butting Spike. “Sure. So…I’ll see you then.” Xander offered Spike a smile, before opening the apartment door and walked in, closing it quietly behind him.

~*~

The next day Willow sat on her bed in the dorm she shared with Buffy, Xander lying with her, his head in her lap. “So, this isn’t a huge thing?”

Willow’s fingers ran through Xander’s hair. “That’s up to you. If you’re at the stage where you can move on from Larry, then good for you. If you can’t, then that’s ok too.”

Xander was silent as he let those words enter his brain. He cursed himself as a glimpse of Larry’s broken body flashed in front of his eyeballs. “Maybe I should tell Spike, get it out in the open?”

“Could be a good idea.” Willow offered, though she personally had reservations about Spike’s ability to care about anyone apart from himself.

Lazily, Xander rose and kissed Willow’s forehead. “I better go. No time like the present.”

~*~

Xander rose his hand to knock on the door to Spike’s crypt ten times before he finally bought it down and made a noise so loud, he thought it’d wake the dead. And, judging by the state of undress Spike was in when he opened the door, he did. “Oh, Jesus, I’m sorry…I didn’t think…”

“S’ok.” Spike said with a smirk as he made his way back to his bed and pulled a sheet around his waist. Seeing Xander still standing at the door, and pointedly not looking at the naked vampire, Spike yelled out. “Not naked anymore.”

“Sorry.” Xander repeated as he walked in, not sure if it was acceptable for him to sit next to Spike when the vampire was only wearing a sheet. “It’s day…I should’ve known you’d be asleep.”

Spike shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. So, did you just come by to see me in the starkers, or did you have something to ask?”

Xander blushed, which made Spike grin as he lit a cigarette. “I…um, I know we’ve been only been on two dates, but I like you, and I think you like me. Which is great, but I think I should be up front with you about something.”

Spike waited for Xander to continue, and when he didn’t, he took Xander’s hand and pulled him down onto the bed, so the teenager was sitting next to him. “I’m listening.”

Taking a deep breath, Xander moved on. “I had a boyfriend in high school. We…we were in love, but he died at Graduation eight months ago.”

Spike’s hand reached up and began to stroke the back of Xander’s head soothingly. “And you’re worried that you’re not ready for this?”

Xander nodded dejectedly, glancing at Spike worriedly. “I don’t want to ruin this, y’know?”

Spike nodded to show he understood. Silently, his eyes capturing Xander’s, his hand slid from behind Xander’s head, to his cheek, stroking the teenager’s face softly. Spike kept his eyes on Xander as he leaned forward to kiss him, his eyes closing just as their lips met.

Spike had never had a kiss like this, not as a vampire or human. It was incredibly innocent, and full of need.

For Xander, the kiss was a wake-up call. Larry would always have a place in his heart, but Spike was the future. His future. Though tongues hadn’t even bought into it, when Spike broke the kiss, Xander panted quietly.

Spike spoke softly, the kiss having affected him just as much as Xander. “So, did you think of me, or the ex?”

“You.” Xander said, equally as softly.

Spike grinned that cocky grin, and rested his forehead against Xander’s. “I think that should tell you something.”

For the first time, Xander took the lead and kissed Spike.


END