Title: Well I saw this thing a coming out of the sky

Author: Xandria

Rating: NC 17+

Pairings: Pre Slash Xander/Spike

Fandom: Buffy

Feedback: Definitely baby!

Spoilers: General Season Five.

E-mail: xandria1969@yahoo.com.au

Summary: Xander gets drunk. And meets an already drunk Spike.

Archive: If any one wants it.

Note: Heather Exum's Evil Song Challenge of Doom (doom, doom, doom)

Website: http://members.tripod.co.uk/macgregor/index.html

Disclaimer: I do not now own the characters, nor have I done so in the past. Joss owns Buffy and others own the songs. However, if they should decide to not own them any longer I can be contacted on the above E-mail. I have nothing and am not making any money out of this.

Well I Saw This Thing A Coming Out Of The Sky
by Xandria

There was a noise.

Spike lifted his head up and looked around.

It was a horrible noise, whatever it was should be put out of its misery.

It should be stopped so he would be put out of his misery and he could get back to his drinking.

Alone.

The whatever it was was right outside his crypt. Some cat maybe?

"Bloody inconsiderate, that's what it is." He got up, staggering a little, he had had half the whiskey already, and opened the door.

There, leaning against the wall, was the Whelp. Singing.

"...one eyed one horned flying purple people eater Pigeon toed undergrowed...."

What the hell?! He ran out and grabbed the boy before he could do anymore damage.

"Spike!" Xander said happily as the vampire threw him over his shoulder and took him back inside, barring the crypt door as he did so. "Have a drink with me!"

"You're pissed!"

"No, I am per...prefec...pesdfe...happy!" Xander declared and blinked at him. "Wanna drink?" he held up the bottle of vodka Spike hadn't noticed before. Spike grabbed it and took a swig. Why not?

"Why do you have to get drunk by my crypt, Whelp?!"

"S'free cemetery. I'll get drunk where I like."

"Not singing that song you wont."

"Hey it's a good song."

"Doesn't the bloody Watcher ever tell you kids anything? That's not a song, it's a summoning spell!! Right time and place, you'll call one of those things up!" Xander blinked at him.

"Nahhh. Can't be right. I've been singing it all night!" Spike groaned and banged his head against the wall, sliding down against it to sit. And drank more of the vodka he still had in his hand.

"That's great that is. On the bloody Hellmouth of all places. Why do I keep coming...what the hell are you doing?!" Xander sat down next to him and grabbed the crotch of his jeans. A crotch that was becoming very tight all of a sudden.

"Thought so." Xander said and sniggered.

"Oi! What's with the grabbing like that?! You a Pouf?!"

"No...I think...I dunno. You're pretty." He blinked at him again, smiling. Spike groaned. And drank again.

"An innocent. Comes here like this, in that state. Can I do anything? No. Bloody chip! Bloody Initiative Wankers are gonna pay when I get a hold of...Hey! Keep you're bloody hands to yourself!" Xander smiled up at him and proceeded to carry on trying to undo his zipper.

"S'alright Spike. Holy cow! You're big!" Xander held it in both hands and smiled at it. Spike groaned. Here he was, a Master vampire in the hands, literally, of an innocent. One who helped the Slayer. And if he let him do this, he would be dust.

"Pet? How much have you had to drink?" he said carefully. Gently, very gently, he pushed Xander's hands aside and covered himself up before moving back out of Xander's reach. Xander frowned.

"Not sure. What day is it? Anya left me Tuesday, for Buffy. They went to a Brittany Spears concert together and Anya decided they'd be good orgasm friends. I get angry, she smirks and hums 'Oops I did it Again'. And Buff? She smiles that little smile of hers at me, as if to apologize and starts to sing the words!

"I think I decided to kill myself Wednesday, but changed my mind and went to Willy's instead, hey, did you know he put in a kareoke!? And he was singing 'I could have Danced all Night!' it was horrible! He can't sing at all! So I had a drink and...what was the question?"

"I'm never bloody gonna live this down. Come on Whelp! I'll take you to the Watcher."

"Nope. Been there, done that. Went there and he was singing 'Sweet Transvestite' to Ethan Rayne, who was singing it back. Actually, they looked kinda hot in those costumes. Can we have sex now?" Spike stopped and stared.

"You've been with Anya too long. No! And, it's no fun if you can't get it up! And the way you've been drinking..."

"I can too! Look at this!" Xander began to take his clothes off. He had a good body, he did. But he was singing again. At least this one was a better song. Queen was a great group, and he'd liked the show when he saw it, he did. People going round chopping off heads? His kind of telly. He shrugged and joined in.

"...Here we belong. Fighting for survival. We've come to be the rulers of your world. I am immortal. I have inside me blood of kings..." Bloody hell, the Whelp was good at that! And he could sing this song! In fact, he sounded totally different!

Then the noise began again.

Outside this time.

What the?! Sneaking back to the door he looked outside.

"Bugger!" Barring it quickly. He grabbed the boy, shoving the clothes back on him.

"Hey! What about the sex?!"

"Later, Pet. We have to go." Xander blinked at him and began to put the clothes on.

"Okay then. Where are we going?" the door crashed down and they turned to stare at it.

One eyed.

One horned.

With wings, so it could fly.

And it was purple.

And it was singing.

Oh bugger.

"What the Hell is that?!' Xander screamed, suddenly sober.

"What you've been singing all night, Whelp. Right, there's only one way to deal with these buggers."

"How?"

"Join me on the chorus, Pet. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."

The creature cooed and sat down, prepared to listen.

Two hours later the Purple People Eater had gone. Spike and Xander sat, exhausted, on the crypt floor.

"Spike?" Xander said hoarsely.

"Yes Pet?"

"You do a great 'Rainbow Connection'."

"Piss off."

"No really."

"S'better than your version of 'Hacoomba Mutata'."

End.

The Evil Song Challenge of Doom (doom, doom, doom) Sorry I couldn't resist. But yes I am issuing a challenge. Um there really isn't any plot requirements just that at one point in the story every character that you mention must have sung/hummed. You could take the cowards way out and have them go to a karkoe bar, or have them singing in the shower.

But what I'd really like to see is some creative ways of having them sing. And that's every character. You have some nameless lady in red, she needs to have a bit where she sings or humms.

Things that should be included:

Someone singing "I have a lovely bunch of Coconuts" (if anyone wants to do the challenge and doesn't know the words e-mail me off list and tell ya) perfferably someone like Angel or Spike, 'cause that's just too funny

Keeping with drunk Spike theme week -a drunk and possibly signing Spike

A singing demon

A song with the word purple in it

Xandria