Title: What Dreams may Come

Author: Xandria

Fandom: BTVS and Highlander and Star Trek

Summary: An alternate ending after Lover's Walk. hundreds of years after his first death, Xander joins the Maquis and ends up on Voyager.

Archive: Go for it, just let me know where.

Rating: PG15+ to nc-17+ noncon and gross flashbacks

Feedback: Does the Colonel serve chicken? Does Maccas serve beef? No wait…

Spoilers: Lovers Walk

Note: An alternate ending after Lover's Walk. Spike kills Xander and he comes back as a vamp immortal hybrid.

Disclaimer: They ain't mine, they were never mine, but the plot is mine and if you try to rip it off I will send my attack squad of rabid teddiebears, and my flock of Outer Mongolian Vampire Skunks after you!

Additional Notes: I had to do it! Tom and Xander and Chakotay, oh my!

Date: 20/08/99

What Dreams May Come

By Xandria

While I grew up, I had a nightmare that would come back and haunt me on a regular basis. I would be lying in my bed, half-asleep. And I would put my arms out to stretch, only to find I couldn't, as there was something on either side of me. Opening my eyes, I would see that I was lying in a wooden box with a lid, a coffin and I couldn't get out no matter how much I screamed or beat on the lid. Then I would wake up and realise it was just that dream again.

It used to happen every couple of months, but in the last couple of years with all that has happened, once a week. Now I have it every night. So it happens this time and I am almost calm and think, it's just the dream again. And I wait to wake up, but I don't. Then I remember.

I had been with Willow in the chem lab at school. She wanted to try out this delust spell so we were no longer attracted to each other. I agreed to help, neither of us wanted to hurt Cordelia or Oz. I went to turn on the light and that's when it happened. Spike turned up, knocked me unconscious and took us to the basement of the factory. And I woke up, and Spike was there with Willow, saying he hadn't had a girl for ages.

"Leave her alone!"

"Never mind, Luv, Sleeping Beauty here will do." The vampire then leapt over to where I was laying and leant over me, taking hold of me in an unbreakable grip.

"I won't help you if you hurt him!" I tried to hit him but couldn't move. My head hurt and I felt dizzy. Spike opened his mouth and showed his fangs as he lowered his head to my neck. Then he drank and I knew no more.

Apparently he only took enough to stop his hunger, but it was enough to make me sleep all through the rescue by Cordy and Oz. I woke up in the hospital, to see them all standing there.

"Hey. Please tell me I beat Spike, right?" I whispered.

"Xander, he took your blood. A lot of it. I thought you were going to die."

Willow started to cry and Oz held her in his arms as she sobbed.

"Hey Will, I guess I'm tougher than I look" I said. Then I frowned. That did not come out the way I intended it to.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright, Xander?" Giles asked with a frown.

"Yeah. Why? Think I'm going to vamp out?" I said with a grin. The Englishman did not smile back and I realised he had thought that.

"I don't feel different." I said.

"It's not day yet. You may be one."

"But I would be different, right? I would try to attack you and have strength."

"You could be pretending until you get away."

"No! It's a joke! A sick joke! Do you have holy water?! Pour it on my hand! I am not a vampire!" Buffy, silent all this time, opened up her bag and brought out a vial of clear liquid. Not taking her eyes off me, she opened it and I held out my hand, shaking slightly.

She tilted it and the water poured over my hand. It started to smoke and I snatched it back and stared at it. It had burned. I looked up to stare at them all. Then I started to cry.

"I'm not. No. Nonononono." My voice got louder and a nurse rushed in. By this time I was almost hysterical. I couldn't be a vamp! I did'nt feel any different. The nurse got them all to leave and tried to calm me down. I couldn't so she called on an orderly who held me while she injected me with somrething. I didn't really remember anything after that.

I don't know what happened but I survived the sun Okay. And I was released two days later in broad daylight. Of the Scooby gang, only Oz and Willow turned up.

"Hey guys" I smiled. "Long time no see. I thought I would have to walk home." No one had visited me in hospital since I got upset.

"Hey Xander. The doctor wouldn't let us see you after that first time." Oz explained. I felt relieved to hear that. I thought they didn't want to be friends any more after that holy water thing.

"It was acid wasn't it?" I said, waving my bandaged hand.

"No. I shook some out onto my hand. It was just water."

"I don't get it. If I was a vamp I couldn't be out in this." I squinted up at the sun.

"Maybe you're a half one" said Willow.

"Is there such a thing?" Oz asked.

"It's the Hellmouth. Who knows." Willow replied. I sighed. I certainly didn't feel the need for blood, and I enjoyed the feel of the sun on my skin. I lifted my face to the sun and closed my eyes. It felt good.

Nice and warm.

"Um, Xander?" I kept my eyes shut and grunted.

"Xander!?" hands shook me. I opened my eyes.

"What?" Willow looked at me, worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I smiled and nodded, not saying anything. We got into Oz's van and I shut my eyes again. The next thing I knew, Oz was shaking me awake and I looked up to see we were at my house. I stumbled out and stared at it in silence for a while.

"Xander?" I turned and looked at Willow. She really looked worried now so I smiled at her.

"Sorry Will, the doc gave me a sedative before leaving. He wants me to sleep when I get home. Which is here so I guess I will. Sleep, I mean." I was glad to see her look relieved and was pleased with my small lie. I smiled at her and went inside. I was tired though, so I went to bed.

It was three in the morning when I woke up, full of energy. I smiled and got out of bed, dressed and went outside, not thinking of how stupid that was.

So I went for a walk at night, in Sunnydale. And Spike found me.

"I thought you'd left town" I said, trying to back away.

He grabbed me and grinned. "Unfinished business. Your blood is the best I've had for a long time. I had to have more."

"No! Get away!" I tried to hit him but failed. And he drank my blood. Again. And I knew no more. Again.

So here I am. I guess I must be a vampire because here I am in this coffin. Wondering how to get out.

END