Title: Comfort

Author: Nadine :)

Archive: Pleeze!! Just lemme know ok?

Fandom: Chicago Hope

Pairing: Aaron/Jeffrey

Rating: NC-17 for m/m sexual situations

Category: Angst/post-ep/Romance

Spoilers: early season 2, especially Leave of Absence

Summary: Two friends discovering a new way of giving comfort

Disclaimer: All David E. Kelley's. Wish they were mine though.

Note: This is a first in two ways. It's the very first Hope fic I've ever written, and probably the very VERY first Hope Slash that's ever been written, so I really feel like I'm entering new territory here. Any thoughts, constructive criticism, please send them to me, they'll be especially valuable this time.

Now I hope you'll enjoy!! :)

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Comfort
by Nadine
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Aaron couldn't sleep. He'd been rolling from one side onto the other for hours now, but it had never worked and every time he'd opened his eyes again, staring into darkness. Letting out a sigh, he shoved the covers aside and got up, walking towards the large window on the opposite side of the room, staring out into the night scenery, barely seeing the ever-busy street with the ever-lit streetlights.

He let out a sigh. Lately, things hadn't exactly been looking up for him. Pursing his lips, he reviewed the events of the last few weeks...

First, it had been the final divorce from Camille, their eventual separation, that had caused him sleepless nights, had made his stomach turn over at times. They'd tried, and he had wished so much for it to work this time, had hoped that their reunion would be an eternal one, but... oh well. What did it matter now.

All the while, work had been relentlessly hard as usual, a real bitch in fact. But being Dr. Aaron Shutt, he was expected to cope with every single problem, to face a new challenge every day, and stay calm and sober through all of it, not to cause any trouble. The hospital had a reputation after all.

Then, just a couple days ago, Alan Birch had died. Shot by some punk out on the street. Seven bullets in his body, his blood spilled onto the cold plaster.

Aaron closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, shaking his head.

He still felt that burning pain in his chest, the one caused by grief, pain, rage and great helplessness.

And that helplessness was perhaps the worst of all; he'd had to watch the operation without being able to do anything, had to see his dear friend die on the table right before his eyes, and he wouldn't ever be able to stop it. There would always be kids on the streets killing just for fun, shooting innocent people at random.

Another thing he'd found himself miserably unable to prevent had been the leave of his beloved best friend, on that same day.

Just like that, Jeffrey had packed his things, along with Alan's daughter, had said he'd take an extended vacation because taking care of little Alicia was a priority now, had stepped into the elevator and disappeared. Just like that. Leave of absence. And again, Aaron hadn't been able to prevent him from lea-- okay, he knew that was not true. On second thought there would have been plenty of things for him to do to keep Jeffrey from leaving the hospital, but just what did it matter now? Just another wasted chance. One more if-only to add to the existing pile of screwed up chances on his mind.

And he was still waiting for Jeffrey to call. "I'll call you", he'd said before the elevator door had closed. Right. Almost ten days now, well what happened to your phone, Jeffrey?

The prospect of never seeing his best friend again hurt him, terribly.

He had to admit, he felt lonely.

Left alone.

By everyone.

And it hurt. No end in sight.

*knock*

Wha--?

Was he hallucinating?

*knock*

It was close to midnight. He had to be hallucinating.

*knock*

He'd better answer the door.

Grabbing his robe, he hurried to the door, wondering who in the world could have the nerve to pay him a visit at this time of night.

With the fourth knock he reached the door and looked through the peephole, then looked again more closely, not believing his eyes.

*Can't be.*

He unlocked the door then flung it open.

"Jeffrey! What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep", Jeffrey Geiger responded, grinning sheepishly.

"So you woke me?"

Jeffrey slightly shook his head, still grinning. "You weren't asleep."

Aaron nodded. "Okay, alright, come in." He grabbed him and got him inside somehow, since Jeffrey didn't seem to make any attempt to move.

As Jeffrey walked past him, Aaron could smell something. He sniffed a little and realized what the faint but recognizable stench was.

"Are you drunk?"

This got him a small laugh. "Not really."

"Where's Alicia?" Aaron asked suspiciously, stepping closer.

Jeffrey raised his hands, making a gesture. "She's fine."

"*Where* is she?"

"She's with Camille", Jeffrey said slowly, and Aaron felt like he'd just been punched into the stomach, for whatever reason.

"You want a coffee? I'll get you one; just sit down, make yourself comfortable", he said, hurrying to the kitchen to be alone, at least for a moment.

When he returned a couple of minutes later, carrying two mugs, he found Jeffrey sitting, with his shoes off and his head rested against the back of the couch, eyes closed.

"There ya go", he said, placing one mug on the coffee table.

"What--" Jeffry jumped, his eyes snapping open as if he'd just been woken from deep sleep, looking around in panic.

"Jeffrey, it's just me", Aaron answered, slightly irritated, sitting down in a chair next to the couch.

"Sure, I know", Jeffrey mumbled, smiling a faux smile.

After a moment of silence, Aaron set his own mug down and asked, "so what is it Jeffrey?"

Another of these forced grins. "It's nothing. Just felt like talking. We haven't talked in the last couple days you know."

"Yeah, I know", Aaron responded, a little more harshly than he'd intended, "you haven't called. And just now you felt like chatting and came here at this time of night? Jeffrey, what's the matter with you?"

Jeffry looked at him for a beat, then lowered his eyes, obviously thinking.

When he looked back at Aaron, his gaze was open, readable, and he whispered, "Do you sometimes feel like you can't take it anymore? Like you won't be able to stand it any longer?"

Aaron was taken aback; he hadn't been expecting this. After pondering it for a moment, he said, cautiously, "Sounds a little strange coming from you."

His friend only nodded. "I know, I know. I'm not denying that it's unusual when I say something like that. But it's true." He made a gesture with his hand, "the whole world is shattering above my head. It's too much. I can't take it anymore." He got up and started pacing in front of the couch.

"Jeffrey--"

"It used to be so easy, so simple. The job was there, you were there, everyone was there, I knew what to do, what I was good at. I knew where I belonged. And now? Now it's all gone, no work, no going to the hospital, nothing that I know I can do, nobody to support me. It's all
gone. You are gone." Just as Aaron looked up at his last sentence, he went on rambling. "And why the hell are these pants making that noise?"

Now Aaron got up and grabbed Jeffrey by the arm, bringing the man to a halt.

Jeffrey inhaled sharply, looking down to where Aaron held his arm in a tight grip. "Let go of me", he said calmly.

"Get a hold of yourself, Jeffrey", Aaron replied insistently, not reacting to the demand. "You have a child to take care of, you have a responsibility, and you knew what would be coming towards you, so get a damn hold of yourself!"

Jeffry blinked once. "Let go of me, Aaron."

There was a moment of blank, tense silence before Aaron finally broke the eye contact, letting go of Jeffrey's arm, knowing he'd lost the short argument-- for now.

"We'll talk tomorrow", he stated, not looking at the other man, "after you slept."

"How am I supposed to sleep now?"

"Just go to bed, Jeffrey."

"I won't be able to sleep after the coffee you gave me", he cried, not giving up in the boyish way that Aaron was all too familiar with.

"You've had no more than two sips, and besides it was decaffeinated; I wouldn't possibly give you caffeine in the middle of the night", Aaron replied calmly, pushing him towards the bedroom.

When he realized where they were, Jeffrey asked "Why are we here?"

"To sleep", Aaron said, more slowly than necessary, "you at least. Now lay down and get some rest, you need it."

"And you?"

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"No! You live here, and I'm just an uninvited guest. You sleep in the bed!"

"Jeffrey, even if just out of polite manner, you'll sleep in this bed!"

"You sleep in the bed!" Jeffrey exclaimed, already on his way to the living room.

"Suit yourself", Aaron mumbled, more to himself than to his friend, and got back into bed.

*

He woke to the feeling of a hand stroking his hair, to the sounds of a voice softly whispering to him.

In his sleepy haze, Aaron half expected Camille and jumped when he switched the light on to reveal Jeffrey kneeling at his bedside.

Blinking, he tried to make out the display of the alarm. 3:09.

"Jeffrey, what are you doing here?" His voice was rough with stolen sleep.

"Pretty obvious, isn't it?"

Well, not exactly obvious, Aaron thought, but instead just said weakly, "Go back to sleep, you need it."

"No."

Sighing, Aaron sat up. "Then what do you *want*, Jeffrey?"

For a moment the other man was silent, then: "Not going back to sleep. There are only nightmares waiting for me.

No, I don't want that." After a moment he continued, "I want to be with you."

Aaron frowned at the implication --was it even an implication--, and a strange feeling made its way through his body. Going for the most cautious answer, he demanded, "What do you mean?"

A second passed before Jeffrey opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He then whispered. "I'll show you."

As Jeffrey's face moved closer to his own, Aaron suddenly knew what he'd meant, as Jeffrey's nose touched his, his heart began to beat madly, and when their lips met in a soft kiss, he brought up the power to push the other man away.

A lame "What the hell are you doing?" was the only thing he could bring out after this-- it had done something to him he wasn't quite sure he could categorize yet, whether it had hurt him, confused him, or something else. Something entirely else.

Jeffrey's eyes were wide when he spoke. "You know what I was doing. You know damn well what I was doing because you wanted it yourself." Before Aaron could protest, he continued, "I know you want too, because you're just as miserable as I am. We're both desperate, we're in need, so why not give each other just that bit of comfort?"

Why or why not, went through Aaron's mind as they both moved closer, he mentally weighed the possibilities while he pulled Jeffrey up onto the bed, and there was only little hesitation left when he opened his mouth to let him in.

Their second kiss was slow, deep, penetrating, tasting of spice, of sweetness, and of life.

Their lips crushed against each other, tongues dueled for an age before they moved on to slowly undressing one another, with Jeffrey being the one to have to remove less clothing. They didn't speak, just kissed in between movements, stroked each newly revealed part of flesh, placed butterfly kisses on naked skin, inhaled each other's scent until both of them were bare and Jeffrey lied down, pulling Aaron above him, covering him with the blanket.

For a moment Aaron just looked at the other man, took in the sight of the naked body under him, memorized all the details; the tone of his skin, the tautness of his nipples, the dark hair, the softness-- Jeffrey just seemed so soft. Not fat, just warm and comfortable.

And with their next kiss he sank again into that comfortable warmth, while roaming all over that body, stroking, teasing, cupping, and Jeffrey did the same to him, not just adding to that feeling of safety, but also increasing the incredible heat of arousal in him, and he ground his hardness against Jeffrey's, causing them both to moan. He then did it again, and again, and Jeffrey wound his legs around Aaron's hips, and soon they were grinding against each other, giving satisfaction to a primal need, at the same time giving something that was so much more than physical.

Aaron abruptly came to a halt when Jeffery all of a sudden grabbed his hands, forcing them to still, and looked at him, looked him deep into the eye. And what Aaron saw in those darkened pools of brown, what he read there, suddenly made him fully realize just what he was about to do. And the doubts came back.

Noticing what went on, Jeffrey pulled him just a bit closer. "Aaron, there's nothing to fear."

"But I have never--" Aaron stumbled, and to his surprise, Jeffrey took his hand, spit into the open palm and brought it downwards.

"Neither have I", he then whispered, his voice intense with emotion, "it doesn't matter." He squeezed Aaron's wrist. "Do it. Make us forget."

And after just another second of looking at him, Aaron did it.

He reached down and started probing, carefully, trying not to pull back in fear when Jeffrey hissed as his finger entered. He went on slowly, always watching Jeffrey's face, and as the grimace of discomfort disappeared he began to add fingers, to move them, to twist, until he
found it was enough and pulled them out to replace them with something much larger.

He looked into Jeffrey's dark, shining eyes one more time, and they shared a deep kiss, and then Aaron entered him, with all his care, sinking in ever so slowly, grimacing in arousal, sheer lust at the heat that engulfed him, at the tightness that took hold of him.

He heard Jeffrey make a small noise, and distracting himself from his own arousal, he saw that it was not from pain but from high pleasure, and he grabbed Jeffrey's wrists, brought them to the headboard. Then he started moving, slowly at first, one inch at a time, enjoying the small sigh that Jeffry gave him each time he sank back into him. They kept the lazy pace for a while, Aaron moving so slowly, Jeffrey making little noises, meeting his body, stretching out their pleasure, smiling at one another.

Then Aaron moved downwards in a short, quick thrust of his hips, and Jeffrey cried out. Aaron repeated the motion, growled himself at the stimulation, and soon it had the both men frantically thrusting out their bodies, seeking the other, finally giving to each other the warmth they both had missed for so long.

And as Jeffrey pulled him closer, whispering to him, Aaron took hold of him and stroked him as close to release as he was, and it took just a beat until Aaron cried out, his body stirred, and he gave himself to his lover, watching as the waves of passion washed over Jeffrey's body too,
watched his mouth open in a silent scream and he was there as well, both of them united in climax, and the world went silent.

When he came to, Aaron found himself looking at a smiling Jeffrey; and it was not a dishonest, not a fake smile, it was one of happiness, of relief and satiation.

He reached over and got a box of tissues from the drawer of the nightstand, helped Jeffrey clean up, and when they were done, he looked at him again, searching for any sign of regret on his face. But his eyes only shone in happiness, and Aaron allowed himself to smile, placing a tender kiss on his best, *best*, beloved friend's lips before switching the light off and falling into a deep, calm sleep.



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Like it? Hope you do! :) Thanks for reading!
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