Title: Pride

Author: Perpetual Motion

Fandom: Law and Order: CI

Pairing: Carver/Goren

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Two men with pride.

Archive: List archive, RS archive, my site. Anyone else just ask.

Disclaimer: Belong to Dick Wolf and NBC, the rest of us just do it for free.

Author's Notes: First story posted to the L&O list. For Julian Lee, who always manages to encourage me even when she's not doing it actively.

Pride
By Perpetual Motion

"I want you..." Bobby trailed off as he watched Ron sit up and reach for the sweater that was lying on the floor.

Ron didn't look back as he answered. "You want me to what?"

"I-" Bobby cut off again. He wanted to say it. Badly. Part of him was burning inside to say it, see
what the reaction was and build from it. But part of him was ice cold, wondering if saying it would lose him what little he had. "I want you to-to stay. Just. Stay. Tonight. Here."

Ron turned around at that, eyes widening a little in surprise. "We made an arrangement." When Bobby didn't say anything, he decided to make it clearer. "We agreed sex with no strings. Stress relief, I believe you called it."

Anyone else would have winced at the tone Ron's voice had taken on the last sentence. Bobby reached out and carefully touched his fingers to the edge of Ron's sweater. "I want you to stay." It was getting easier to say, but the ice was starting to smolder the fire in him, make him even more nervous than he had been. "Please." He clenched his fingers lightly in Ron's sweater.

There were two versions of Ron on that bed at that moment. One wanted to yank Bobby's hand off his sweater, call him an asshole, and leave. The other wanted to take off his sweater, get back under the covers, and fall asleep listening to Bobby breathe. It was a monumentally hard decision. Ron's pride was flaring up to throw a fit. Four months of having just sex when he wanted something more had grated at him until he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Now, Bobby was offering, at least for the night, exactly what he'd wanted for months.

"How long have you wanted me to stay?" Bobby's fingers flexed on his sweater. Ron had to hold back a smile at the typical reaction. Ask Bobby a direct question he was uncomfortable answering, and he started twitching.

"Awhile."

"Define awhile."

"Just, awhile." Bobby moved his hand off Ron's sweater and down to his leg, tracing small patterns in unknown shapes. "I woke up one night and reached over for you, and you were gone. I wanted you there. I want you here."

Ron's pride took a soaring leap off a cliff and disappeared from sight. He pulled his sweater off and got back under the covers. If anyone had more pride than him, it was Bobby, and if Bobby could say something like that, something that would leave him torn open to be poked at painfully, Ron could let go of four months of wondering for a night and go to sleep with Bobby warming his back.

END