Title: Of Scanning and Dreams

Author: Iocane

Pairing: Matheson/? (Don't want to give it away!)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Graphic m/m sex.

Summary: Matheson accidentally scans someone. Or does he?

Archiving: CrusadeFic Archive, WWOMB, anywhere else, just ask, I'll probably say yes. :)

Notes: Special thanks go out to my beta readers for convincing me to stop tweaking and send the dern thing already!

Feedback is always appreciated, good or bad.

Of Scanning And Dreams
by Iocane

John Matheson lay in bed, awake. Again. "First officers personal log, continued."

"Recording."

"I ... " The young lieutenant sighed. "I scanned someone today. I didn't mean to. I'm not even sure it was a scan. I just picked up on some strong emotions, and that always makes it easier to accidentally scan someone. I ... What I saw was ..." John stood and began pacing.

"I was in the bullet car on my way to my quarters. It stopped, and he got in. There was no one else, just the two of us. He didn't say anything, just sat there. After a few moments, I felt ... something radiating from him, almost pushing the edges of my shields. I tried to block it, but
it was too strong. I let my shields drop for a second and I saw ..." John paused.

"It wasn't anything I expected, not from him. For someone like him to ..." He stopped, gazing out his small window at the passing hyperspace. "Maybe I didn't really see anything. Maybe I just saw what I wanted." His mind flashed back to the image and he blushed. "I'm not going to deny
that I want him. But does he really want me? I don't know. Does he know what I saw?"

Matheson sat back on his bed, stretching out. "And what if I do go to him, confront him with that I saw - what I felt." His voice softened. "What I feel. Would he even admit it? What if he turns me in for scanning him without permission? I don't think he would, but ... you can never be sure. He surprised me once already.

"On the other hand, if I do nothing, say nothing ... What could I be turning my back on? Sarah told me once to touch passion if it came my way. Is this passion? If it's not, do I risk my career on a gamble like that? If it's not, will I lose him forever by speaking up?

"But if it is ... Do I risk letting it walk away? End log."

"Stopped recording."

Matheson sighed and slipped under the covers. That night he dreamt ...

He dreamt of him. They were ... together. Kissing, touching, feeling ... loving. Matheson had never had a dream with such vivid detail ... Everything was so real, almost like a memory, and not a dream. The taste, the texture, the pleasure and pain were all so real. Even the smell of him filled John's dream.

Just before the dream consummated itself, John awake, sweating, his chest heaving. After calming down, John spoke, his voice hesitant.

"First officers personal log, continued."

"Recording."

"I'm going to tell him."

-------

The next day was very difficult. John saw him everywhere; in the corridor; the mess hall; even the bullet car. Every time they met, John had to repress the urge to blurt out his feelings for the other man.

Finally his shift ended and John retreated to his quarters. Stripping out of his uniform, he pulled on a comfortable pair of slacks and a black buttondown shirt.

He sat on his bed for a long time, wondering how he was going to do this. A thousand different images flashed through his mind of what could happen. John sincerely wished for someone to talk to. Gideon would listen and give good advice, but the last thing the captain needed was to hear about his second in command's love life. Galen would probably know what to do, but John didn't expect the technomage would give him a straight answer - assuming the technomage was even capable of one. Considering the other person involved, John was hesitant to talk to *anyone.*

John finally decided to hell with it, it was now or never. And he'd be damned if it was never.

Standing, he walked to his door, he was just about to leave when the door chimed.

------

John was shocked to see Max Eilerson standing there. Stepping back, he managed to stammer a greeting and invited the xenoarcheologist in.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Max entered the room. "Captain Gideon told me you had a data crystal for me, information on the next planet."

"Uh, yes. One moment." John turned quickly away, heading for his desk. He bent slightly to look for the data crystal Gideon had given him earlier. It didn't take telepathic abilities to know Max was watching him. Closely.

John found the crystal, and straightened, but was unable to make himself turn around. He stood frozen for a moment before he heard Max speak.

"Something wrong, Lieutenant Matheson?"

John tried to repress a shiver at hearing Max say his name. "No ... Nothing wrong." His voice cracked at the last word, betraying the truth of his words.

"Did you find the crys-"

"I scanned you." John said abruptly. "Yesterday, in the bullet car."

After a long moment, Max spoke. "I see."

John's eyes were closed, so he couldn't see the other man, but his voice sounded closer. "I'm sorry. I know it's against the rules for telepaths, but when I saw you and felt ..." His resolve broke and a single tear trickled down his cheek. "I had to know ... If you felt ... felt the same way I did." Try as he might, John was unable to hold back the tears of anger, and sadness, and of hope.

He felt a pair of hands on his shoulders and heard a soft murmuring in his ear. "Shhhh..." Max's arms wrapped around him, comforting, soothing.

The shock of the contact and the realization of the situation snapped John back to himself. He visibly jumped, knocking a sheaf of papers to the floor.

Max stepped back slowly, his hands still on John's shoulders. "You don't have anything to apologize for, Lieutenant." He turned John to face him, blue eyes finding brown ones. "I wanted you to see how I felt. I was too much of a coward to say anything. I'm so sorry for putting you through this. I didn't realize how hard it would be on you." He cupped the younger man's face. "I'm so sorry."

John covered Max's hands with is. "It's okay ... I'm just glad ..." He couldn't finish the sentence, Max's lips were in the way.

The kiss began slowly, Max teasing the younger man. John slipped his arms around the other man's waist, pulling their bodies close together. Max traced the seam of John's lips tenderly, slipping between them to delve into the younger man's sweet mouth.

John moaned softly, returning the kiss, his hips thrusting faintly against Max's. The older man broke the kiss and chuckled. He pushed John back against the desk, their hips grinding together. Reaching down, Max slipped a hand between their bodies, cupping the sizable bulge in John's
pants.

John gasped softly, arching into the other man's touch. Their eyes locked as Max's skillful fingers undid the fastening of John's pants and slipped inside. Max could see the younger man's eyes darken with passion as his hand wrapped around the rigid shaft.

John moaned as Max stroked him. Gripping the desk for support, he stared as Max sank to his knees. He was barely able to contain himself when Max's lips wrapped around the head of his cock, licking it slowly. He squirmed under the other man's touch, resisting the urge to thrust into his hot mouth. Before he knew it, he was erupting into Max's mouth, his hips bucking.

Max sat back, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, grinning up at the younger man. John sank to the floor, his entire body limp with release.

For a long moment, the two men gazed at each other. John glanced at Max's pants, seeing the fabric pulled taut over his shaft.

Rolling to his knees, John crawled towards Max, his hands sliding up his legs. Laying on his side, Matheson stroked the other man through his pants. Max lay back, his breath ragged as he arched up into the younger man's hand. Before proceeding, John built up his shields. Telepaths by nature
pick up the pleasure of their partner. John wanted to be able to concentrate on Max, and not have to worry about himself again.

Grinning, John licked his lips slowly as he tugged the zipper of Max's pants down. Looking like a boy in a candy shop, John gazed at the rigid flesh in his hand, his fingers slowly exploring the surface. He squeezed the swollen head, causing Max to whimper. Deciding to stop the torture, John took the head of the cock between his lips, sucking gently.

He felt Max's hands run though his hair, clenching briefly before falling to his side. John held still a moment, holding the end of Max's cock between his lips. In a single fluid motion he moved forward, taking all of Max inside him.

Max moaned his name and exploded, his body thrashing. John held his place, only moving away when Max began to soften in his mouth.

John moved up to lay beside Max, surprisingly unselfconscious. He was equally surprised when Max rolled towards him, resting his head on John's shoulder.

After a long time, Max broke the silence. "John?"

"Hmm?"

"This floor is getting pretty cold, don't you think?"

John smiled and sat up, dislodging Max. "You're right." He twisted to look at his bed. John stood, tucking himself back in. Max followed suit, straightening his clothes.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment. Finally John spoke. "So, where do we go from here?"

Max stepped closer, resting a hand on John's shoulder. "Bed, would be my suggestion. If you'll have me."

John took the hand from his shoulder and pressed the palm against his lips. "I'll have you, if you'll have me."

"I've wanted you since I first laid eyes on you."

John blushed. Suddenly, he felt very tired and felt himself blinking back fatigue. Draping an arm over Max's shoulder, he led the older man to the edge of the bed. "Come to bed, we'll talk more in the morning."

Max nodded as they both undressed. They slipped quietly into the bed. It took them a moment to work out positioning, but they finally settled down. John lay on his back with Max resting his head on John's shoulder.

A few minutes later, they were both asleep.