Title: Never Doubt At All

Author/pseudonym: Caroline Crane

Fandom: CSI

Pairing: Nick/Greg

Rating: NC17

Status: complete

Archive: yes to list archives

Series/Sequel: Part 3 of the Camping Trilogy. Follows Doubt Truth to Be a Liar.

Camping 3: Never Doubt At All
By Caroline Crane

"We could have gone to Alaska, you know."

"Next time," Nick said, his gaze scanning the horizon. He heard a soft sigh near his shoulder and turned to look at Greg, frowning a little at the other man's expression.

"I'm okay, Nick."

"I know," he answered, but the truth was that months later he was still having trouble believing it. He'd seen the explosion, seen Greg wheeled out of the building on a gurney and then later in a hospital bed, looking too small and way too fragile. He'd seen the burns on Greg's back, changed his bandages and laid awake at night watching him breathe. He'd watched Greg's entire recovery and he knew Greg was okay, but sometimes it was still hard to convince himself.

That wasn't the reason he'd suggested they change their vacation plans. He still didn't really know why he'd changed his mind after months of careful planning, but he wanted to do something to make Greg happy. It seemed kind of stupid now that they were here, but he couldn't regret it as he watched the waves crashing on the shore. Besides, he'd never been to Hawaii, and Alaska would still be there the next time they managed to get a little time off together.

"So are we gonna do this or what?"

As soon as Nick voiced the question Greg's whole body relaxed, his grin making Nick's heart skip a beat. "If you think you can handle it."

Nick just rolled his eyes at the challenge and headed for the water, but an hour later he'd swallowed enough salt water to put him off the ocean for a long time, and he was pretty sure he was going to have bruises from a few of his harder falls. He gave in before he did any permanent damage and headed back to the beach, planting his rented surfboard in the sand next to him and settling in to watch Greg. And it turned out Greg wasn't half bad; he was a little rusty from living in the desert for the past few years, but after a few false starts he got the hang of it again.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there watching Greg, but when the other man finally called it quits and headed back to the shore Nick was almost a little disappointed that the show was over for the day. He grinned when Greg emerged from the surf, wet hair plastered to his head and his wet suit clinging to his body in all the right places. Nobody at CSI would ever believe it even if they saw Greg looking like a professional beach bum, and in a way Nick was glad that he got this part of Greg all to himself. He had to share a lot of Greg with other people – he even had to share the guilt over the explosion with Catherine – but this, at least, was all his.

"You bailed on me pretty quick," Greg said, but he was smiling as he parked his board and threw himself onto the sand next to Nick.

A wry grin lit up Nick's features as he leaned back on his elbows, watching the surf as it inched a little further up the beach. "That last fall knocked the wind out of me. Figured I better quit while I was ahead."

"You were doing pretty good for a beginner."

Nick laughed and shook his head; he knew Greg was trying to encourage him so he'd try again, but he knew better than to believe he'd done anything out there that qualified as 'good', unless not actually drowning counted as good in the surfing world. He stood up and dusted some of the sand off his wetsuit before he turned and held out his hand for Greg, pulling the other man back to his feet. "I don't know about you, but I could use a shower."

As it turned out a hot shower was exactly what his sore muscles needed, and although it didn't do much to help the red marks left on his skin by the ocean it made him feel a lot better. There were dark spots already forming at the center of the biggest marks, and he knew when he woke up in the morning he'd look like someone had taken a baseball bat to his stomach and sides. It was worth it, though, especially when Greg walked out of the bathroom fresh from his own shower, a towel wrapped low around his hips.

"We could have brought a tent and slept on the beach," Greg said, his expression betraying his amusement as he sank onto the mattress next to Nick.

Nick's only response was a low 'hmm' as he turned into Greg, pressing his mouth to the other man's neck and tasting the lingering flavors of soap and salt. He wasn't about to admit that camping sort of lost its appeal in the face of a hotel room like this one, but he was grateful Greg hadn't suggested it before they'd already paid for the soft bed and the bathroom facilities. He pulled back and opened his mouth to promise something about their next vacation, but when he caught sight of Greg's back the words died in his throat.

He'd seen the scars a thousand times, back when they were still fresh burns and then later, when Greg's skin turned pink and textured, like a permanent callus. He knew they didn't hurt anymore, but his touch was still gentle whenever he ran his fingers over Greg's back, as though just touching him might bring back the pain. Greg let out a shudder and Nick's hand froze, then he pulled it away to rest it on the undamaged skin at the base of Greg's spine. "Did that hurt?"

Greg shook his head and shifted on the mattress until he was facing Nick. "It doesn't hurt. Nick, we've been over this. I'm fine."

Nick opened his mouth to say something, although he wasn't sure how many more times he could say 'I know' when he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Before he had a chance to say anything Greg leaned forward, pressing their mouths together to stop Nick from talking at all. His hands were on Nick's shoulders, pulling him close as his tongue teased Nick's lips apart. The kiss was all tongues and heat and desperation, like Greg was trying to prove a point without words, and by the time he drew back again they were both panting.

"See? Fine," Greg said, grinning as he reached down and tugged the towel off his waist.

If sex was all it took to convince Nick that Greg was okay he would have forgotten the explosion over a month ago. But there had been long weeks in which Greg was still healing and Nick had been terrified to touch him, and those memories didn't just disappear. He hated that he couldn't forget it and let everything go back to normal, especially when he knew Greg could tell exactly what he was thinking, but he couldn't turn off the dreams or the nagging memory of Greg lying on the floor covered in glass.

He swallowed hard against the memory, willing himself to focus on the Greg in front of him, the Greg that was warm and alive and waiting for Nick to do something about the fact that he was naked and hard. Nick grinned at that thought, a shaky laugh escaping his throat as he pushed Greg back onto the pillows and crawled over him. "You're fine, all right."

Greg rolled his eyes and reached up to slide a hand around the back of Nick's neck, tugging him forward until Nick's weight was pressing him into the mattress. "And you keep telling me to get new material."

Nick laughed against Greg's mouth, the sound shifting to a moan when Greg's hands slid inside the boxers he'd pulled on after his shower. He lifted his hips long enough to help push them down his thighs, kicking them off the rest of the way before he settled against Greg again and licked a stripe along the column of the other man's neck.

He knew he was starting to make Greg a little crazy; he'd had to stop himself from asking if maybe surfing was such a good idea so soon, because after almost three months it didn't really count as 'soon' anymore. It still felt like it, though, especially when he ran his hands along Greg's sides and felt the tiny scars from where glass had embedded itself in his skin. Greg was lucky – Nick couldn't count the number of times the doctors had said that he was lucky – but none of this felt much like luck to Nick. He couldn't stop thinking that Greg could have been dead, and there was nothing lucky about that at all.

His mouth moved against Greg's neck, his hands cataloguing every inch of skin he could reach as he sucked hard on the skin just below Greg's hairline. Greg arched hard against him, elongating his neck as he clenched his fingers against Nick's shoulders and ground their hips together. He was babbling something Nick couldn't make out, a litany of nonsense words that might have been asking for more or maybe begging Nick to stop wasting time and just fuck him already.

The thought made Nick's cock twitch, and he tore his mouth away from Greg's neck to kiss him again, swallowing the sound of Greg's voice as he fused their mouths together. He shifted until he was lying next to Greg, sliding one hand down the center of the other man's chest to splay his fingers across Greg's stomach. He could feel the heat already rising from Greg's groin and he knew he could flip him over and take him right now, but he wanted to hear it.

"Tell me what you want," he murmured against Greg's mouth, pressing kisses against the other man's skin between each word.

"I want you to fuck me," Greg answered, his voice low and determined and maybe just a little threatening, but Nick caught himself before he laughed.

"How?"

And he knew Greg liked to talk, so he wasn't surprised at the breathless smile that got him. He let his hand wander down Greg's stomach, closing around his cock and stroking a few times. Greg's eyes rolled back and he caught his breath, rocking into the sensation for a few seconds before he found his voice again. "Hard," he finally answered. "On my knees. Now."

It took a lot to reduce Greg to incomplete sentences, but Nick had always liked being the one to make him lose control like that. He pressed one last kiss to the corner of Greg's mouth, then let go of his cock and nudged his hip until Greg took the hint and rolled over. Nick had to stop for a second when Greg flipped onto his stomach, his hand shaking with a mixture of anticipation and something he'd never admit was fear when he finally reached out and touched Greg's back. He let his hand rest on the smooth skin at the small of Greg's back, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the damaged skin that began just below Greg's shoulders.

The biggest scars were at the center of his back, where the explosion had hit him the hardest and sent him flying through the plate glass. And Nick wasn't sure he'd ever stop flashing back to that day whenever he saw Greg like this, but he wasn't going to let it come between them. Not when he'd come as close as he had to losing Greg just when he was starting to realize how much this meant to him.

He worked his way down Greg's back slowly, pressing kisses to each spot his hands touched and listening for each shudder or soft moan that let him know Greg was enjoying the attention. It looked like it should hurt, but Greg swore it didn't and Nick wanted to believe him. Still, he couldn't help being a little relieved when he reached Greg's hips, gripping his undamaged skin with one hand as he pushed Greg's legs a little further apart.

Greg laughed when Nick pressed a kiss to the bottom of his spine, and he grinned against the other man's skin and then moved further down Greg's body. He heard the sharp intake of breath and then a low moan as he pushed his tongue inside, his hand still gripping Greg's hip to keep him from pushing back into the touch. Slowly he worked Greg open with his tongue, keeping up a languid, torturous pace. When Greg started murmuring again and pushing up harder against his hand Nick relented, pulling away long enough to grip Greg's hips and pull him onto his knees.

He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of Greg kneeling in front of him, his forehead pressed against his arms as he waited for Nick to fumble for the tube of lube they'd brought with them. Finally he dropped it onto the mattress, gripping his slick cock with one hand and Greg's hips with the other. He closed his eyes against the sensation of all that heat surrounding him, pulling him further inside until he was buried in Greg. He raised his other hand to Greg's back, stroking his skin as he slowly pulled out and then pushed back in again.

"Harder," Greg said, his muscles tightening around Nick.

Nick had to work hard not to come just from the sound of Greg's voice, but his hand left Greg's back to grip his hips even harder as he drove into tight heat again. Greg pushed back into each thrust, grunting with the force of it as Nick picked up speed. He chest heaved with each ragged breath, and when he angled his hips just a little Greg gasped and pressed back even harder against him. Nick grinned and did it again, and when Greg moaned and tightened around him again Nick let go of his last shred of control. His fingers tightened on Greg's hips hard enough to bruise, and he buried himself as deep as he could and came.

He was still panting when he caught Greg around the waist and pulled him up, his back pressed against Nick's chest and Nick's cock still buried inside him. Nick pressed breathless kisses along Greg's neck as he slid his hand down Greg's stomach, his fingers closing around Greg's cock for the second time. It didn't take long before Greg was moaning and thrusting into his fist, his muscles working Nick's cock almost painfully as he finally tensed in Nick's arms.

Nick stroked Greg's cock a few more times before he let go, wrapping both arms around Greg's chest to pull him close while he worked to catch his breath. Finally he pulled out and lowered them both to the mattress, leaning up on one elbow to watch Greg fight the urge to close his eyes. "You hungry?" he asked, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice as Greg blinked and turned a slightly unfocused gaze on him.

"Need another shower first."

"Yeah, I guess so," Nick answered, reaching out to trail his fingers through the mess on Greg's stomach. He wanted to slide his fingers inside Greg, to tease his sensitive opening until he was hard again, but he knew it would wait. They had three whole days left of their vacation, after all, and he wasn't planning to spend the entire time learning to surf.

He was still tracing patterns on Greg's stomach when a hand closed around his, and he looked up to find Greg watching him. He grinned and leaned forward for a long, slow kiss, moaning against the other man's mouth when Greg pulled him close again. When his spent cock twitched Greg laughed against his mouth and thrust up against him, and Nick groaned and settled a little further between Greg's legs. So maybe they weren't going to get to that shower any time soon, but that was more than okay with him.

fin