Title: Lies

Author: Scealai

Rating: R for language

Category: General

Summary: George makes an observation about life.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: The characters of 'Dead Like Me' belong to MGM and Showtime. They were created by Bryan Fuller.

Author's Note: I've only seen the pilot, so my characterization of George and Mason comes from that episode only. This fic is an answer to the 15 minute challenge at the DeadLikeMeGeneralFic group.

Lies
by Scealai

Life is one big fucking lie, I learned that when I died. People lie to their friends, their family, and to themselves. Hell, they'll even lie to me - the Grim Reaper. Take T. F. Manis, a bottle blonde with
surgically enhanced boobs. See, they'll even lie to their bodies.

"Tiffany Farrah Manis, sorry, but you're dead," I announced in a bored monotone to her spirit.

"Oh, I'm not Tiffany Manis, you have the wrong person." Tiffany smiled a bright bleached white smile. Liar. Why was she even bothering? You can't lie your way out of death - taxes maybe, but not death.

"Really." I rolled my eyes and glanced at the body in the bathtub. The one I had reaped moments before the television playing her favorite soap opera had fallen in with her, the resulting shock causing her to drop the hair dryer she had been using into the water as well. Who needed a graveling when stupidity was so rampant? I stared hard at the gold necklace with the name 'Tiffany' written in glitzy cubic zirconia. It was the only thing she was wearing since she had died in a bathtub. "You just happen to be wearing Tiffany's necklace and taking a bath in Tiffany's bathtub in Tiffany's house?"

"Yes, I'm her, uh, cousin Tiffany." Again with the smile. Delores Her-Big-Mouth would have loved Tiffany Man-Is-She-A-Liar. "I'm not the Tiffany Manis who is supposed to die."

"Funny how you're dead then." Dead people can be such a pain in the ass.

"George, what's takin' so long, luv?" Mason called from the bedroom where he was probably stealing Tiffany - or Cousin Tiffany as she liked to be called - blind. I had brought him along because this was the first time I had to reap someone in their house and I wasn't exactly skilled at home evasion. Mason, on the other hand, could probably pick the lock to the Pearly Gates - if they exist and, well, have a lock. "Yo, George, let's get a move on. I have a five o'clock appointment." He sauntered nonchalantly into the room and leaned on the door frame.

"Who's the guy with the cute accent?" Dead Tiffany batted her lashes and pursed her lips. Mason's lips curled in a smirk. He was probably staring at her tits.

"Let's go." I herded naked Dead Tiffany past Mason and out the front door. The swirling blue lights descended down to the street forming a ghostly spa. Some people's concept of heaven is whacked. Mason and I watched Dead Tiffany and the lights disappear and I wondered if they were a lie too. Was Tiffany Farrah Manis really going to spend the rest of eternity being pampered at a beauty spa? Or did something else await her behind the glittering lights? Was death actually the biggest lie of all? I turned to Mason. "So, were you staring at her tits?"

Mason snorted. "First class knockers like that?" He grinned and flung an arm around my shoulders as we walked down the street. "Of course I was." That's why I like Mason. He doesn't give a shit about anything. At least not enough to lie.

The End