ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

By Jennifer Saenz

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi! Longtime no see guys. I'm finally finished with a story I started last year. Only 8 more to go!

This is a RayK story, but not a RK/BF story so all Vecchio fans are welcome. Perhaps you're like me: Think BF and SRK were never, ever meant to be, but RV and SRK have potential as a wham-bam-thank you-ma'am kind of pairing.

DISCLAIMER: Nobody belongs to me in this story and I don't' make any money writing it. So don't sue. It's m/m for those of you who find that sort of thing distasteful. To each his own. All mistakes belong to me and my sister.

THANKS TO: One more thing: thanks to Blarney for helping me with RayK's car info.

ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

By Jennifer Saenz

Hi. My name's Ray or Stanley, which ever you prefer, although I do prefer Ray.

Now that we got that AA moment out of the way, I guess I can begin my tale.

Hey! Where do you think you're going? Okay, okay, to be honest it's not my story but my best friend's story and his lover's. Oh I'm in it alright, but just as an observer. That's all. I promise.

I really mean it.

Okay okay you beat it out of me. It's got more of me in it then anyone else. But I promise all you other guys will like it too. I promise it's a love story of a Italian cop and a Mountie.

Seriously.

Okay okay, you beat it out of me again. It's a love story and those crazy kids do get together, but only after I have my fun. And that's all it was, I swear on my mother's grave.

Alright, I know she's not dead, but if she was, I would. What do you want me to do? Kill her? Man, are you guys sick.

Now please quit interrogating me and let me tell the story. Okay?

****************************

"Damn you Fraser! Damn you to hell!" I yelled at him as he once again jumped off a building. "Not everyone wants to be a superhero. Vecchio might put up with this shit, but you must be out of your fucking mind if you think I'm going to run and follow you."

He ignored me as usual and as usual, I jumped off the building after him.

I should have waited for Vecchio. I got the call from Lt. Welsh and since I was doing nothing I went. Fraser was waiting for Vecchio to get back from IA and wanted me to wait also. Me, in my infinite wisdom, decided that Fraser could wait but I wanted to go. He told Frannie where we were going to be and took off after me, all the while explaining that we should wait for Vecchio. Since I hadn't brought my car in that day, I jumped in a beat officer's squad car and we were off.

Needless to say, I'm not well loved by the beat cops. But that's another story.

When we got to the scene, the perp was barely running away, a gun in his hand and Fraser immediately went after him. When the thug decided to escape via a rooftops, I felt that I had done my civic duty and was ready to quit. But noooo, not Fraser. So that's why I'm running and yelling like a freak at the man in the red suit.

I've got to get me another job.

Fraser then leaped off the side of the building and managed to fall on the perp as he climbed down a fire escape. I watched and winced as Fraser and the perp fell down the stairs. Damn, that's going smart tomorrow. They finally fell the last step and onto the expensive shoes of Raymond Vecchio.

Finally, the calvary arrived.

************************

After the squad car had driven the perp back to the station, Vecchio put Fraser in his car and told me he was driving him to the hospital. Fraser said he was fine, but Vecchio ignored him. I envy Vecchio that particular skill.

I managed to get a ride to the hospital in a squad car since Vecchio had completely ignored my request for a ride and when I arrived, I went to find them. Fraser, sitting down on a hospital bed, was discussing with the doctor about voodoo medical practices or something else that strange. Vecchio was sitting in a chair nearby.

Fraser was then taken to x-ray, leaving me alone with Vecchio.

"So is he going to be alright?"

"No thanks to you, he will be fine." He got up from the chair and stood in my face.

"What do you mean?"

"He could have been killed Kowalksi. How dare you take him with you? He's not your partner! I thought I made it clear that when he was at the station he was my partner! If you ever do something like this again I'll kill you!"

"What do you mean not my partner? He was my partner for a whole damn year. You deserted him and he turned to me for my friendship."

Oops. Smart move Stanley. Antagonize the antagonistic detective even more. Vecchio's eyes became little slits and his teeth began to grind. I head a voice say "Ray!" and turned--

BAAM!

Next thing I knew I was on the ground in the hospital with a cute nurse standing over me, giving me smelling salts. Fraser was right beside me.

"Are you okay Ray? Do you know where you are? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I didn't hit him that hard Benny, he's just faking it." I heard Ray whine.

"I'm appalled at you Ray. I was the one who went after the suspect and I was the one who chose to jump onto the fire escape. You can not go blaming Ray for that."

"Did I say I blamed him?" Vecchio looked at the nurse next to me. "Did you hear me say I blamed him? I didn't hear myself say I blamed him. Who's blaming who? Nobody Frasier, you're being ridiculous."

Rolling my eyes, I tried to get Fraser to give me his hand to help me up, but Vecchio immediately took my arm and yanked me up.

"Touch him again and the next time you reach for your gun it will be with a hook."

Fraser's cute Mountie eyes got all big at Vecchio's statement. I was about to burst out laughing, when I noticed the look in Vecchio eyes. He was dead serious. I pulled my arm from his grip and hid both arms behind my body.

"Come on Benny, let me take you home."

"What about me? I had to catch a ride with a squad car, since no one offered me a ride to the hospital, so now I'm stuck." I tried to give Vecchio the big-eyed Mountie look, but he rolled his eyes and sneered at me.

"What about you Stanleeey?" I hate it when he says my name like that. I hate it when he says that name at all. I'm Ray damn it.

"He absolutely correct Ray. Please be considerate enough to give him a lift home."

Vecchio glared at me and nodded his affirmation to Fraser. "Just realize Benny, I'm doing this under duress."

"Like you do anything any other way." I muttered.

"Shut up Kowalksi or you'll be finding yourself hitching a ride home. I'm going to see about getting you outta here already Benny." Vecchio walked down the hall to find some doctor.

"He means well Ray. He's just...a little more protective of me."

"I'm protective of you too. I'm Mr.-Protective-of-the-Mountie. It's just that I don't happen to go ballistic when you get hurt."

Fraser looked down at his feet, speechless. Wow! I knocked the Mountie speechless. Time to break out the balloons and plan a parade.

"Hey! Are you guys just going to stand there all day? I got better things to do then be a taxi service. Hurry up!" Vecchio said as he came into the room. Vecchio then grabbed Fraser and dragged the poor Mountie behind him.

We arrived at the consulate first; the Mountie still hadn't found an apartment equal to the splendor of his former home.

It probably had something to do with Vecchio going on every apartment hunting outing with us and turning down every apartment with a 'Too dangerous', 'Too many cops,' or my own personal favorite; 'They won't accept fur face.'

Vecchio got out, glared at me, and told me to stay put or I'd find my ass walking home.

I stayed put. That walking crap might work for Frase, but hell no if I'm going to be caught doing it.

I watched Vecchio help Fraser into the consulate and was once again amazed that the same man who slugged me was the same man as the one who tenderly helped his "Benny" up the stairs.

He had it bad. I just wished he'd quit taking it out on the rest of the precinct and tell Fraser about it.

You would have to be blind not to see that these two were in love with each other. Yeah I know I can't see without my glasses, but I am not blind, no matter what Fraser says. Honestly though, I think they both know or suspect their feelings for one another, but they still haven't done anything about it yet.

Vecchio got back into his car and drove me to my apartment, muttering about stubborn Mounties.

We arrived at my apartment and as I started to get out, Vecchio followed me.

"Whatsa matter Vecchio? Making sure I don't fake you out and hightail it back to the consulate so I can be with Fraser."

"As if he would even look at you twice you skinny rat." I cannot believe we are really having this conversation.

"Skinny rat?! This is pure lean muscle getting-a-gut boy!"

"You know what? I'm gone. I promised Frasier I would try to talk it out with you and now I'm standing here letting you insult me. Hell no! You make sure you're the one who tells Frasier the reason why I won't let you in my car." He started to get back into his car.

Great. Now I'd have to call him back or get stared at with Fraser's 'I'm disappointed in you, Ray' look.

"Vecc-Ray, wait a minute." He stopped himself from getting in the car and looked expectantly at me.

"I'm sorry I yelled." Never let it be known that I can't say I'm sorry.

He shrugged. "It's forgotten."

"Why don't you come in for some coffee or somethin'."

He agrees and locks up the Riv (did I mention he found a new one?) and came inside with me.

The new Riv is blue. Not as fabulous on my GTO, but a pretty cool car on its own. He was very pissed at the fact that he couldn't find an original green one (after all the last three he had had blown up) and was at first not going to take it. Until Fraser gently suggested that perhaps he would prefer another, newer, more reliable car and then Vecchio immediately got defensive about the car and started yelling at me.

Yes, you heard that correctly, me. Apparently, I'm the one that puts ideas like that into Fraser's head.

Anyway, I led Vecchio into my apartment and we sat down and stared at each other. Since the key to any relationship is communication, according to Stella, I decided to begin the talk.

"So Vecchio, why do you always treat me like the dirt at the bottom of your Gucci loafers." Yup. That's me, jumping right into the shark-infested waters.

His eyes widen and I can tell he's about to automatically deny this accusation, but then he shuts his mouth and stares at me.

Eyes lowered, he answers, "I--, um, I don't know."

Sure Vecchio, I believe that one. I closed my eyes and thought for a moment. I could just charge right ahead and blurt out that I knew his secret love for the Mountie. Or I could gently allude to the idea and hope he gets a clue.

But since I never been one to gently allude to anything, I decided to go for it.

"Could it have anything to do with your undying love for Constable Benton Fraser?"

His eyes got all big and round and he started sputtering his denial.

"Don't even try and deny it Vecchio. I am a detective. Hell, we're all detectives. We know."

"What do you mean we?"

"Everyone at the precinct. Lt. Welsh, Huey, Dewey, Frannie, Bob the new snack guy, Judy the new copy girl and even that bum who keeps getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct knows. Not to mention everyone at the consulate. I even pretty sure you mom knows Vecchio."

He groaned and laid back on my couch. "Why is this my life?"

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know," he said from his position on the couch, "I have no idea what to do about it. I know Benny feels something for me, but hell if I know what to do about it."

"Whatta ya mean?"

"You know...Wait a minute! What the hell am I doing talking to you about this?"

"Cause the only other person you would talk about your problem with is the cause of your problem."

He smiled a little at that. Damn, he's good-looking when he does that half smile thing, too bad he usually only does it for Fraser.

Okay, Just to let you know I do have a small crush on Vecchio. Not a big one, that's reserved for another Mount--, well another person that I refuse to name, but a crush nonetheless.

One might think I would have this crush on Fraser, but Fraser's too anal for me, no pun or wordplay intended. Fraser just doesn't tickle my pickle if you know what I mean. The first time I saw Vecchio I knew I wanted to fuck him. Time passed though and I got over that feeling a little, although sometimes when I'm roughing up the suspect, I still think of him and those green eyes...

"Hey Stanley, you wanna concentrate on my problem here?"

"What?! Oh yeah. So what's the problem Vecchio? You know that Fraser wouldn't exactly kick you out of his bedroll."

"Yeah, but neither of us would have any idea what to do in that bedroll, if you catch my meaning."

What? Oh. Oh...So the Mountie and the Italian detective don't know everything.

"I'm not even sure I can be in bed with another man. What if I decide to pursue this relationship thing with Benny and when it comes time to cross the finishing line I find I can't even get out of the gate."

Great, now he's being reduced to metaphors. He and Fraser have spent way too much time together.

"I'm sure you'll do find Vecchio. You love him don't you?"

"Of course."

"Then let nature take its course and when it's time to...let the horse out of the gate I'm sure yours will be willing and raring to go."

"Huh?"

Rolling my eyes, "Look all I'm saying is that you'll be fine."

"Can I kiss you? Just to be sure I know what I'm doing with a guy?"

What?! Whoa, this conversation just took a turn into unknown territory. Well not entirely unknown for me, I have been down this road a few-but I digress. When did someone up there decided that they like me? I can't fucking believe it. I was about to get a wet dream fulfilled. Yes!

Trying to act nonchalantly, I shrugged, "Yeah I guess." Mentally though, I was tearing off every piece of clothing I had and throwing myself of the first available surface.

Vecchio dragged me out of my delusions by placing his warm lips against mine and giving me the best kiss I had ever had up until then. This man knows how to suck face. I felt my toes begin to curl up and he gently traced his tongue on my lips. The man still hadn't even began to delve into my mouth and I was already on the verge of the big O.

Just when I thought life couldn't get better he opened my mouth with his tongue. Talk about fucking fantastic. He swept that agile tongue all over my mouth, my gums, and my teeth. He then began to duel with my own tongue and led it back into his mouth to be sucked.

At this point in time let me remind you that neither Vecchio nor my self was in love with one another. This was just two guys having a good time.

Okay that out of the way, let's get back to the action.

Vecchio pulled me onto the floor and began to take off my clothes. Then he quickly dispersed of all his fine apparel. I had to admire the man's technique, because he managed to do all this with my tongue still firmly stuck down his throat.

When we were both naked, he began to rub up and down my body, sending shocks down my spine and back up it. When he finally let go of my mouth to breathe, he started immediately on my neck.

"I...thoughr...you didn't ... know what to do...Vech- Ray." I brokenly told him, still trying to hold on to my wits and he continuously rubbed himself up and down my body.

"I'm just doing what you told me to Kowalski, going with the flow." He said against my chest.

And boy did he know how to go with the flow.

*******************

In the spec-fucking-tacular aftermath of our sex, I was consumed with a incredible guilt. I had fucked my best friend's to be lover. Fraser would be so hurt, not to mention if Ren-other people found out.

"Hey Vecchio, what are we going to tell Fraser?"

"Nothing, because nothing happened Kowalski."

"Excuse me? We just spent the last hour fucking each others brains out."

"Exactly. We were fucking, not making love or anything else that romantic. If we told Frasier it would hurt him. And besides, we not going to be doing this again. It was great and if there wasn't a Benny then maybe it could have been something, but I doubt it. We're too much alike. Anyhow, there is a Benny and another certain Mountie I won't name."

"How did you know?"

"I didn't, but Frasier suspected and you just confirmed it."

"Fraser would never have told you anything."

"He didn't, I had to whine it out of him as usual. Don't worry you're secret is safe with us, although you should tell him."

"I'll tell him when I'm good and ready."

"You must know he has some feelings for you too."

Actually I didn't. He never really talked to me, unless I spoke to him first. It was as if I scared him somehow.

What a conversation. We're sitting on the floor, both naked, the smell of sex still in the air, talking about the ones we really love. I've got to get me new friends.

"Look Vecchio, I'll make you a deal. You tell Fraser you're in love with him and want to pursue that love and I'll keep quite about this torrid one night stand."

He looked at me for a moment, as if trying to figure something out.

"How about if I tell Benny what I really feel and then you tell Renfield Turnbull that you're head over feet in love with him."

"No way, uh-uh, not for anything in the world."

"Fine, then I won't tell Benny."

"How juvenile is that Vecchio? You either tell him or I will."

"Tell him and you're a dead man."

"Fine. I'll tell Turnbull. On one condition. You have to tell Fraser in front of witnesses."

"You're out of your mind. And this conversation is ridiculous."

"Okay. But can you live with the knowledge that Turnbull will never know the greatest love of all? He will never know that I will always love him. He'll never know-"

"Stop with the Whitney Houston songs Kowalski or Turnbull will be a widower before he was a bride. I'll take this deal if you tell Turnbull of your undying love in front of the Dragon Lady."

"The witnesses have to be at and in the precinct."

"You got yourself a deal Kowalski." He quickly got up and got dressed.

I walked him to my door and was rewarded with a goodbye kiss that curled my toes. He smiled that half smile of his and wished me a goodnight.

Now you may think I'm going to be telling Turnbull I love him with the Ice queen looking on, but I know that Vecchio will never be able to pull off his end of the deal, so I'm safe.

**********************

Did you know that life doesn't always go as you'd plan? I was aware that sometimes plans went astray, but as a whole, if you planned it, it would happen.

At least that's what I thought before fate decided to bitch-slap me.

Everything was going as usual. Paperwork, questioning and more paperwork. Nothing unusual at all.

Until the Mountie came into the squad room.

He sat down next to Vecchio's and mine's desk like usual and began to help Vecchio with the filing, ignoring Vecchio's questions on why he wasn't at home resting.

Then, once again with my genius, I had to smirk at Vecchio and mummer 'No balls.'

His green eyes narrowed and he threw me that incredible half smile of his and grabbed Fraser by the hand and whispered to him, "Be quiet."

"Everybody shut up and listen to me for a minute." He shouted to the squad room only to be met with groans of anguish and paper balls thrown at him.

"I have an announcement." Lt. Welsh then came out of his office to see what Vecchio was up to.

"Um...I want to let everyone know that...um..." Now about this time my heart was pounding and when I heard him stumble I felt glee. He wasn't' going to do it. YES!

"I'm in love with Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Constable Benton Fraser." He said in one quick breath. He then turned to Fraser and planted one of his toe curling kisses on him.

Never have I seen nor heard so many cheers of joy in the squad room. Everyone started giving each other high-fives and start grumbling on how they lost their bets and why weren't they as lucky to have met someone like Fraser/Vecchio. It was cool.

It also meant I would have to tell Turnbull the same thing and in front of the Ice queen. I think Ray got the better end of this deal.

At least I won the office pool.

*************************************

"I think he's dead Fraser."

"Now ray, don't over react. Stanley is not dead."

"Did you see the look the Dragon lady gave him when he told Turnbull about his undying love for him? I'm surprised she didn't have a heart attack."

"At least Turnbull was happy about it."

"I know. I can still hear his squeal of joy ringing in my ear."

"Besides, the Drag--, Inspector Thatcher is a reasonable and smart woman. She will understand."

"FRASER! VECCHIO! Get you asses in here!"

"I knew that rat would rat us out."

"Ray, I think we should run."

"Good idea."

***********************************

Just to leave you with a small explanation: All's fair in love and war. Besides Vecchio would have ratted me out. I know it, in fact I'd bet my life on it.

Seriously.