Title: Broken
Author: Laura Lee
Rating: PG
Category: PWP?
Pairing: None
Teaser: At some point, Fraser and Stan separate their
lives while searching for The Hand. A possible truth behind their separation.(A very brief piece)
Thank muchly and the Mountie is on the way, Amanda, for the quick beta read!
Thanks for the offer, Kim. Sorry, but I'm just an impatient soul...
Broken
by Laura Lee
*
"It's interesting what determines an enemy. It
can be a life changing event causing two people to end up on opposite sides of
the law. It can be a moment of extreme pain.
"Or it can be the most simple thing in the
world."
~
Fraser looked back at the pages of the open journal,
wanting badly to weep, but not allowing it. He felt so alone at times like
this. He'd made one mistake during those years in
Realizing now that he should have seen it coming, he glanced back at the pages
of the journal.
*
"I knew today when I looked into his eyes that it
was pointless to continue the journey. I should have known he could never
adjust to my life. In
terrain, and all that comes with it, but this was my terrain. This was what I
understood. Now I was in charge and he didn't like it. He couldn't handle
letting someone else be in charge. He couldn't let someone else give the
orders.
"Perhaps it lies deeper, though. Perhaps it is more personal. After all, I
know this area and he does not. I know the way and he does not.
"Many times I saw that streak. I watched him take control of a situation
using whatever techniques were necessary. Sometimes it was violence,
often it was manipulation of the situation.
"The problem here is that he cannot manipulate me. I allowed it for so
long because he was in charge of the friendship in his world, but now I'm in
charge because it's my world and he can't handle it."
~~
Ray had confused Fraser's standing up for himself to
be his backing down on Ray. He'd confused his ability to manipulate for power.
He'd misunderstood Fraser. It was obvious now that Ray never really knew who Fraser was.
Fraser lifted his head and looked out into the falling snow. The stupid thing,
he now knew, was that Ray had hid behind an excuse. Fraser could hardly
remember what it was, but the point was there wasn't one. It wasn't reality.
Ray had pushed him completely from his life over something he had blown out of
proportion. He let his imagination mix with reality until he didn't know the
difference anymore.
*
"When I first began to understand what was wrong,
I wanted things to be better between us. I wanted them to return to the state
of peace. I wanted to be forgiven for imperfections. I understood the art of
unconditional love between friends, but he did not. Perhaps I only thought I
understood because now I am glad. Our separateness is what allows me to progress
rather than be held back. I have faith in myself and the world. He wanted to
control me and I didn't let him. The thing Ray clings to most is his ability to
control a situation or a person, but I no longer allowed it."
~~
Fraser hardly recognized himself in the words. They
were angry. It was years of anger, years of repeated pain building up and
finally being released. He held the pages in his hands and tried to find the
courage to tear them out, to remove them from his life so that he wouldn't have
to admit that he had emotions. As though the papers were not tearable, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he
closed the book and slipped it back between the blankets.
Emotions come
And go
Leaving behind a rough tear.
Ripped fabric
Grating my teeth and my heart.
Manipulation with amazing precision.
Sharing so much for this return?
The taste of venom still bitter
Acidic burning the flesh
Kindness bites
Friends more severe
Tired of letting them in
Tired more of letting go
Let in one more.
That was the mistake.
A seed of black
Grows into nothing more than all consuming frustration.
I've learned from my mistakes
Some of them
But others take a repeated pounding
To find a home in my heart
Betrayed by an open mind
Enemy to an idea.
Reality is so much more than this.
THE END
vbrooks@if.rmci.net