Coming Out For Christmas

By Iris Gray

Fraser/Vecchio

(G)

Summary: the boys come out

Disclaimer: No, the characters do not belong to me, I have no money, don't sue me. The song "I Would Die For You" belongs to Jann Arden and appears on the album "Time For Mercy," (c) 1993 Polygram Music (Canada)

Note: I changed a few of the words to the song "Coming Out For Christmas" to make them fit the Vecchio family, but not many.

Coming Out For Christmas

By Iris Gray

(to the tune of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing")
I intend to drop a bomb
On my sisters and my mom.
For this year, without a doubt
Is the Christmas I come out.

First I'll get their full attention.
Then slip in a subtle mention:
"Tasty turkey! Perfect Peas!
Could someone pass (I'm gay) the cheese?"
That should do the job okay
When I come out on Christmas Day.

Oh say can you see it now
Watch my family have a cow.
Or perhaps, if fate is kind
The'll insist that they don't mind.

Then they'll say "We always guessed.
After all look how you're dressed.
Seven earrings in each ear.
We're not quite that dense, my dear."
They'll adore me anyway.
When I come out on Christmas Day.
Coming out to everyone
Makes the winter doldrums fun.
It's a noble thing to do.
Why don't you come on out too.

Make the choice! Damn consequence!
Lift your voice, get off the fence!
Shout it from the highest roof:
Gay is great and you're the proof.
Make this Christmas bright and gay.
Come on out on Christmas Day!

Lyrics by Craig Sturgis, 1992
**********

"What do you want for Christmas, Ray?" asked Benton Fraser of his partner and lover, Ray Vecchio.

Ray kissed the Mountie. "I already have everything, Benny. I have you. That's all I want."

Fraser smiled. "Well, that will make shopping easier."

"Actually, there is one thing I want, but it's nothing you can give me," said Ray, suddenly turning serious. "I want my family to accept us as a couple."

Fraser became equally serious. "Are you saying that you want to tell them about us? I thought you had decided not to."

Ray groaned. "I did, but I changed my mind. I don't want to lie, or hide, or pretend. I don't want to spend Christmas pretending that we're not lovers. I want to be able to hold your hand, to kiss you under the mistletoe. When my Ma asks us to talk about the best parts of the last year, I want to say that having you in my life is the best part of this year or any other year since we've known each other, even before we were anything more than best friends."

"So what will you do, then?" asked Ben.

"I dunno, Benny. Maybe I'll just say, "Hey, Ma, everything's great. Can you pass me the mashed potatoes? Oh, and by the way, I'm gay and Benny and I are lovers."

"That would be one way of going about it," said Fraser.

"You don't approve," stated Ray.

"It is not my place to approve or disapprove, Ray. They are your family, and this is your decision. I am behind you one hundred percent, no matter what you do."

"Benny, you're my partner. My coming out to my family is going to affect you. This is something we should do together. And like I said, I want to be able to touch you and act, well, normal around you. I don't want to worry that someone is going to 'catch' us doing something we shouldn't."

The Canadian thought for a few moments, then spoke again. "How exactly do you want to go about this, Ray? Do you want to tell everyone at the same time? Do you want to tell your mother first and the rest of the family separately? Do you want to tell Francesca at all?"

"Do I *want* to tell Frannie that I'm sleeping with the man she's had a massive crush on for years? No. But I have to, or she'll never stop throwing herself at you."

"So what are you going to do?" asked Benny.

"When Ma starts the tradition of talking about the year, the way she does at Christmas, then I'll bring it up. At least that way we'll get through dinner first before any explosions happen."

"You don't know that there will be explosions, Ray. Your family may surprise you."

"Yeah, and hell might freeze over."

"You're so cynical, Ray."

"But you love me anyway, right, Benny?"

"You know that I do, Ray," replied his lover.

And then, all conversation ended.

***

Christmas Day dawned clear and cold. Ray insisted on picking up Benny at his apartment, saying that in the neighbourhood the Mountie lived in, he'd likely be mugged before he walked a block, especially since he was carrying several wrapped packages.

"Why do you have to live in this neighbourhood?" grumbled Ray for at least the thousandth time since he'd first met his partner.

Fraser sighed. "We have gone over this many times, Ray," he replied.

"I know, I know. I just hate that you put yourself in danger every time you walk out your front door."

"Well, what other reason would you have for picking me up at my front door every time I need to go somewhere?" Ben asked with a grin.

Ray laughed, but he was worried about his upcoming revelation and his family's reaction to it.

"Ray," said Ben, "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of picking up these pamphlets; I thought they might help." He showed Ray some bright pink pamphlets with a PFLAG logo on them. "It's an organization to help support families of lesbian and gay people."

"That was thoughtful of you, Benny, but I don't know if my Ma or my sisters will even *want* to talk about it to anyone, especially a stranger."

"Well, in case they do, I will just leave these in the house."

As they entered the Vecchio home, Ray pulled down a sprig of mistletoe from above the door. He knew that Francesca had put it there in hopes of catching the Mountie with it. His sister's constant pursuit of Fraser was one of the reasons he was determined to come out this Christmas.

"Oh, you found the mistletoe!" exclaimed Frannie.

Ignoring his sister, Ray pulled Benny close to him and held the mistletoe over his head, then kissed his partner full on the lips. Fraser was surprised, but pleased.

Francesca glared at her brother. "Very funny, you two," she muttered.

Mrs. Vecchio was, as always, pleased to see Fraser and welcomed him with a big hug. The children swarmed him, eager to see what he had brought them. Eventually the family settled around the Christmas tree to open presents. Ray had given Benny a sweater in a shade of blue guaranteed to match his eyes. Benny had given Ray a handmade leather case to hold the new badge that had come with his recent promotion to Detective First Grade. He'd given Francesca a new book by the author of "Sword of Desire", and had included a handmade cover to go around it. He'd given Mrs. Vecchio a selection of her favourite spices in a new spice each (also handmade, of course), given the children hand-carved wooden toys, given Tony a set of hand tied fishing flies, and given Maria a small wooden jewelry box. Everyone was impressed, as always, by the fact that Fraser had made all the gifts by hand. As they got up to go in to dinner, Benny pulled his lover to one side. "I have another present for you, Ray, but it will have to wait until we're alone."

Ray grinned. "Can't wait for that one, Benny."

After a meal that probably outdid every previous Christmas dinner Mama Vecchio had ever cooked, the matriarch of the Vecchio family stood up and signalled for quiet. "Every Christmas, I ask all of us to share what has highlighted the past year for us. This year is no different. My year, like every year, has been highlighted by all the wonderful times I have spent with mi familia, and those times have been made even better by the addition of Benton to our family. Thank you for sharing the holiday with us, Benton," she added, before sitting down and gesturing to Tony to continue the ritual.

Each family member, the children included, stood and talked about good times they had enjoyed from the past year. Fraser, looking slightly embarrassed, spoke of how pleased he was to have a family to spend the holidays with. Then, finally, it was Ray's turn. He stood and placed a hand on Benny's shoulder.

"For me, the most special and memorable day of the past year was the day I told Benny that I loved him for the first time, and he told me that he loves me." He lifted one of Benny's hands and kissed it. "Benny and I are lovers, and we're happy. I know that I'm happier now than I've ever been before, and I want to share that happiness with all of you."

There was dead silence around the dining room table. Francesca's fork clattered to her plate. One of the children nudged his brother and whispered, "What's the big deal?" The other boy shrugged. "Beats me," he replied.

Finally, Mama Vecchio spoke. "Francesca, Maria, help me clear the table, please." The women began clearing plates and glasses. The men took that as a signal to retire to the living room while the children ran upstairs to play with their new toys.

Tony looked at his brothers-in-law over his wine glass. "So, how long have you been together?" he asked in a friendly tone, trying not to make the two men more uncomfortable than they were already.

"Almost six months," said Ray quietly.

"Five months, three weeks and two days, actually," said Fraser.

"So, it was sometime over the summer, then," Tony commented. "Hey, Fraser, how can you wear that red uniform in the summer? Seems like it would be awfully uncomfortable."

The conversation went on to the topic of Fraser's duties at the Consulate and how often he was required to wear the red serge.

Eventually Mrs. Vecchio came out of the kitchen, still carrying a dish towel. "Raymondo, I wish to speak to you alone, please."

Ray stood up. "Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Benny."

"Ray, it's all right," Fraser reassured him. "Go talk to your mother. I'll wait for you here." Ray reluctantly did as his partner suggested and went in to talk to his mother.

"Raymondo," Mrs. Vecchio began. "You know that I am very fond of Benton. He is almost like another son to me. Are you certain that the way you feel for him is not like you would feel for a brother? You are partners, after all, and that is a very close relationship."

"No, Ma." Ray shook his head. "I thought about it long and hard before I said anything to Benny. I'm certain. I'm in love with him, and he's in love with me."

Ray's mother sighed. "Raymondo, I kept quiet as much as I could when you divorced Angela. You know how the church is when it comes to divorce. And now this - this relationship with Benton. I do not love you any less, caro, or Benton, but I must ask you to reconsider your feelings for him. This kind of thing is not right, Raymondo. "

" 'Thing', Ma? This is not a *thing*. I love Benny. I will love Benny for the rest of my life. What could be wrong about loving someone?"

"Raymondo, I cannot pretend to understand how you feel. Loving someone is not wrong, but the rest of it - the physical part - it is a sin."

"Oh, so if a man and a woman love each other, it's okay for them to have sex, but if two men love each other, it's okay as long as they *don't* have sex?"

"It is wrong if they are not married, caro. You know that," Mrs. Vecchio pointed out.

"But the church isn't going to marry me and Benny, so how can we stop 'sinning' ?"

Mama Vecchio groaned. "Caro, two men cannot get married!"

"Okay, so it's wrong to have sex if we're not married, but we can't get married because it's wrong. I think Benny would call that circular reasoning, Ma."

"Raymondo, if you insist on continuing to - to see Benton in this way, then I must ask you to please leave this house. There are children here. I do not want them exposed to your lifestyle."

"Ma, it's MY house!"

"Then do you wish to put your mother and your sisters out on the street, Raymondo?" asked Mrs. Vecchio in an icy tone.

"No, Ma. I'll leave. I'll pack an overnight bag and come back for the rest of my stuff tomorrow while you're at the Boxing Day sales. I'll be at Benny's if you need me for anything. He doesn't have a phone, but I'll take my cell with me."

Ray left his mother and stormed up to his bedroom where he threw some clothes and toiletries in to a bag. Then he went back downstairs and grabbed Fraser by the arm. "Come on, Benny, my Ma wants us to leave."

Fraser wanted to thank Mrs. Vecchio for dinner, but the look she was giving him and Ray made him reconsider. He waited until they were in the car before he asked Ray what was going on.

"She asked me to leave, Benny. She said that she didn't want the kids exposed to my 'lifestyle.' Lifestyle! What's so different about my lifestyle all of a sudden?"

Benny recognized that as a rhetorical question and didn't answer. They drove to his apartment on West Racine in silence. When they had climbed the stairs and were in Benny's place, the Mountie helped Ray off with his coat and hung it up, then he removed a small box from beneath the miniature Christmas tree that Ray had insisted on placing in one corner.

"This is the present I was telling you about earlier, Ray," he said, handing the box to his partner.

Diefenbaker had awoken from his nap and curiously sniffed around the package Ray held. "It's not edible, Dief," Fraser told the wolf, who immediately lost interest.

Slowly, Ray unwrapped the little box. Inside the wrapping was a small jeweler's case. Curiously, Ray opened it. Inside was a key. Ray smiled. "What's this, Benny, the key to your heart?"

"You already have that, Ray. No, this is a key to our new apartment."

"New apartment? Ours? Huh?" Ray asked in astonishment.

Benny knelt in front of his lover. "You've been trying to convince me to move to a better neighbourhood for as long as we've known each other. I finally decided to get a new apartment as part of your Christmas present. I want us to live in it together."

"You want us to live together, Benny? For real?"

"Yes, Ray. For real," answered the Mountie. "We can move in at New Year's."

Ray brushed away the tears that were suddenly threatening to spill over. "Thank you, Benny."

"You're welcome, Ray." The two men kissed.

"So, how about I give you the rest of *your* present now?" the detective asked.

"Rest of my present?" asked Fraser, puzzled.

Ray stood up and extended his hand to Benny. "Bed. Together. Now."

Benny smiled widely. "That sounds like a very good present." He took his lover's hand and followed him to the bedroom.

"Merry Christmas, Benny. I love you."

"Merry Christmas, Ray. I love you too."

END