December 6

By Iris Gray

Fraser/Vecchio

(PG)

Summary: There is talk about violence and sex but no actual violence or sex taking place in this story. There really was a massacre in Montreal on December 6, 1989, and this story is dedicated to the women who died and also to the ones who survived

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Alliance and their respective creators and not to me.

The song "This Memory" was written by Nancy Reinhold and performed by the Wyrd Sisters and is on their album "Leave A Little Light."

December 6

By Iris Gray

Detective Ray Vecchio looked up and smiled as his lover, Benton Fraser, walked in to the squad room of the 27th precinct. "Hiya, Benny," he said cheerfully. He wished he could kiss Fraser or touch him, but they had agreed that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to expose their relationship to the homophobia notorious among most police. Ray noticed a small white ribbon contrasting with the red serge of Benny's uniform. "What's that for, Benny?" he asked.

"Ray, it's December 6th," replied the Mountie,

"Yeah, okay, so what does that mean?" asked Vecchio. "Nineteen more days until Christmas? The day before the attack on Pearl Harbour? Some strange Canadian thing?"

Benny looked more serious than usual. "In Canada, it is the national day of Action and Remembrance of violence against women. It marks the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre."

Ray tried to remember if he knew what the Montreal Massacre was. He gave up. "What is the Montreal Massacre? They don't do things like that in Canada, do they?"

Fraser sighed sadly. "Unfortunately, Ray, violence happens in Canada just as it happens everywhere else. On this day in 1989, a gunman entered an engineering class at Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique -a technical college - and separated the male students from the females. He then allowed the men to leave, and shot the women. He said he did it because they were 'all feminists' who were taking men's places in the school and in the job market. Fourteen women died."

"Oh my God," whispered Ray. "That's horrible."

Ben looked sad. "Yes, Ray, it was. But violence happens every day. The massacre in Montreal was horrifying because of its randomness and the sheer number of fatalities, but women are victims of violence most often in their own homes. They are often in more danger from their spouse or partner than from a madman with an automatic weapon."

"Don't I know it," said Ray bitterly. "My Pop hit my Ma when he was drinking. Frannie's ex-husband beat her, and some of her boyfriends have been kinda...rough with her. I feel so damn helpless when I think about what they've had to go through."

Fraser lay a hand on his partner's arm. "I know you would never let anything happen to your mother or sisters if you could help it, Ray. You cannot control the actions of others."

"How can I protect my family, Benny?" asked Ray. "Isn't that my job?"

"Perhaps it would be better if they were able to protect themselves," suggested Fraser.

"What do you mean?" his partner queried, picking up his coat as he prepared to leave the precinct for the day. Fraser walked next to him and continued speaking.

"Inspector Thatcher is teaching a class at a local college about how women can protect themselves - a kind of combination of self-awareness and self-defense. I'm sure you are aware that the Inspector is quite capable of defending herself."

"Yeah, I saw how she handled Bolt that time," Ray remembered.

"Well, after the publicity surrounding the Bolt case, she was approached by the college and asked if she would teach a self-defense class. She said that physical defense is not enough - prevention is much better than reaction."

"What does that mean?"

Ben got into the car beside his partner. "Inspector Thatcher wants to teach awareness. How to spot the warning signs of an abusive person. Situations to avoid. Self-assertiveness. Awareness of one's surroundings. Not every woman is physically capable of defending herself from an attack."

"Makes sense. I wonder if Frannie and Maria would go?"

"All you can do is ask them," replied Fraser.

"Now if *you* were going to be there, we know Frannie would be there in a second." Francesca Vecchio's feelings for the Mountie were well known.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ray, but this class is for women only."

"Well, maybe if you told her that you *wanted* her to go..."

"Ray, I am not going to encourage your sister's behaviour in that regard." None of Ray's family knew about his and Benny's relationship, and Ray preferred it that way. However, it made his sister difficult to deal with sometimes.

They arrived at Ray's home, hoping that none of his family would be there. However, as Ray unlocked the door, he could hear voices.

"Frannie? Ma? Anyone home?" he called out loudly.

"RAY! Get in here, now!" came a shout from Francesca. Ray and Benny hurried in to the kitchen in time to see a man pushing Frannie up against the counter. When her brother arrived, he quickly backed off.

"What's going on here, Frannie?" asked Ray.

"Tommy was getting just a little too *friendly*," replied Frannie. Ray took in her disheveled clothing.

"I think you better leave, Tommy," he said.

"Hey, she was asking for it! I was just obliging!" protested Tommy.

Fraser looked at the man with coldness in his blue eyes. "No one *asks* to be assaulted, Thomas," he said. "There was nothing 'obliging' about your behaviour toward Francesca."

"What would you know about it? You're a fucking faggot!" exclaimed Frannie's would-be suitor.

"That's it." Ray took the man by the collar and propelled him out of the house. "Don't ever show your face in MY house again." He was able - barely - to keep himself from beating the man to a pulp.

When he came back into the kitchen Benny was enquiring about any injuries Frannie might have. She looked up as Ray entered. "Ray, why did Tommy call Benton a faggot? That seems like a pretty stupid thing to say."

"No idea, Frannie. Where do you find these losers, anyway?" asked her brother.

Francesca shrugged. "I went to Bingo with Elaine. Tommy was there. He seemed nice. But he's stupid. I mean, it's obvious that Frayze isn't gay."

"What makes you say that, Francesca?" asked the Mountie.

"Well, I mean, you're just *not*. I mean, gay guys don't like women, right? Hell, Tommy's probably gay himself."

"That's entirely possible, Francesca. Many closeted gay men seem to find it necessary to pick on other men whom they perceive to be gay. But I'm certain that many gay men *do* like women - just not romantically or sexually."

Ray was getting nervous at the direction this conversation was taking. "C'mon Benny, we better get going before Dief figures out how to open the refrigerator and helps himself to Ma's pot roast."

"Now Ray, that's just silly." Benny turned to Francesca. "Francesca, Inspector Thatcher is teaching a class on self-defense at Chicago Community College tonight. You and your sister should attend. It might help you avoid situations like this in the future."

"You gonna be there, Frayz?" asked Frannie hopefully.

"No, Francesca. It's for women only. But I do wish you would attend," replied the Canadian.

"Anything for you, Fraser," said Francesca.

"Good," said her brother's partner. "It's at seven p.m. Seminar room A."

As the two men headed out to Ray's Riviera, Ray said, "I thought you said you weren't going to 'encourage' Frannie's behaviour around you! What did you do that for? 'I wish you would attend'?"

"Ray, I do wish Francesca would attend the self-defense class. I do not have the feelings for her that she has for me, but she is your sister and I care about her. I don't want her to get in to another situation like the one with Tommy. What would have happened if we hadn't arrived when we did?"

Ray shuddered. "I don't even want to think about that."

Ray was unable to find a parking place outside of Benny's apartment building and ended up leaving his car a couple of blocks away. As he walked toward his home, Benny reached for his lover's hand, but Ray pulled away. At the pained look on Fraser's face, Ray said, "It's not safe,
Benny."

"I understand, Ray," said the Mountie softly, but Ray hated seeing the hurt in his eyes.

"Really, Benny, it's not. Two guys just *can't* hold hands in public, especially in this neighbourhood. We're in just as much danger as a woman would be walking alone in a dark alley. Or even in broad daylight, around here."

"I said that I understand, Ray. That doesn't mean that I like it."

"I don't like it either, Benny," said Ray sadly. He resolved to make it up to Benny when they were safely indoors.

As soon as they were inside Benny's apartment, with the door locked behind them (at Ray's insistence), Ray grabbed his lover and kissed him with all the passion he'd been suppressing since Benny had walked in to the precinct earlier that day. "Have I told you that I love you today, Benny?" he asked.

"I don't think so, Ray," said Fraser, smiling.

"Well, I do. With all of my heart."

"And I love you with all of mine, Ray," replied the Canadian.

And then they didn't talk for a while.

Later, when they were relaxing in bed, Ray turned to his love and said, "Benny, do you trust me?"

"With my life, Ray," replied Fraser.

"You know, don't you, that I'd never hurt you?"

"Of course, Ray. What makes you ask?"

Ray sighed and looked serious. "I guess everything that happened today just got me thinking. About how people that say they love each other can hurt each other. Like my Pop hurt my Ma. Like how whenever we have to investigate a murder, the first suspect is the husband or wife. And we *have* responded to domestic calls where the couple is two men or two women. "

"Is that one of the reasons you don't want them to know about us at the precinct, Ray?"

"Yeah, Benny. You haven't heard some of the things they say about 'fags' and 'dykes' when we get those calls."

"No, but I can imagine what they are," said Fraser. "The RCMP is not a bastion of tolerance."

"I thought you said discrimination due to sexual orientation was illegal in Canada."

"It is, but that doesn't stop people from saying what they think."

"I'm sorry, Benny," said Ray.

"For what?"

"Well, sometimes I forget that things are hard for you too. And sometimes I don't think before I say things. And I get scared sometimes that I *will* hurt you. I have a temper - I'm like my Pop in that way."

Fraser put his arms around Ray. "I think that the very fact you worry about hurting me means that you *won't*," he said.

"You know what they say, Benny. Kids who get smacked around grow up to smack other people around." Ray never used the word 'abuse' to refer to his childhood experiences, but Fraser knew that was what he meant.

"You mean that people who are abused as children grow up to be abusers," said Ben.

"Yeah."

"Ray, does Maria abuse her children?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Have you ever seen Francesca hit anyone?"

"Other than me, no. And not since we were kids."

"Then why do you think you would suddenly turn abusive when they haven't? Did you ever hurt Angela?"

"Not physically."

"I think that is all the evidence you need, don't you?"

"I love you, Benny. I don't ever want to hurt you."

"Ray, there may be times when we hurt each other without intending to. I will tell you if anything you say or does hurts me, if you will do the same if I hurt you."

"Like when I wouldn't hold your hand?"

"That hurt me, Ray, but that was not your fault. The situation - the reason you couldn't hold my hand - is what was painful. Knowing that it is not always safe for us to express our love is what hurts." He picked up his watch from beside the bed and looked at the time. "Ray, there will be
a candlelight vigil at the Consulate tonight in memory of the victims of the Montreal Massacre. Will you go with me? "

"Of course."

They arrived at the Consulate as things were being set up. Ray noticed that Maria, Francesca, and yes, even his Ma were there, with some other women who were probably part of the self defense class. There was a long piece of paper with names on it. He went over and looked at it and saw that it was for people to write down names of women they knew who had been victims of violence. He took a pen out of his pocket and began to write.

Benny looked over Ray's shoulder to see what he was writing. He realized that the names were of women whose deaths he had investigated or who had been involved in his cases. He had never realized before that Ray had committed those names to memory. The last name he wrote was "Irene Zuko."

The detective looked into his partner's eyes. "Does that bother you, Benny?" he asked.

"No, Ray. She was a part of your life, and she died violently. She deserves to be remembered."

Inspector Meg Thatcher called the group of people to gather in a circle. She announced the purpose of the gathering - to remember women who had been victims of violence, and to make a commitment to ending that violence. Candles were passed around and each person lit the candle of the person next to them. The small flames travelled around the circle.

Someone turned on a stereo and a song began to play.


This Memory
--------------

"Early that morning, cup of coffee in her hand
Kissed her mother on the cheek, said 'I'm more busy than I'd planned.
I'll be coming home a bit late, could you keep some supper warm.
Oh, just another busy day.'

Early that morning, getting ready by the door.
Kissed her lover on the cheek,
Said, 'I'll be coming back for more.
Oh how I love you
We've got so much to live for, baby
Oh, I'll be coming home real soon"

At that point Ray found himself reaching for Benny's hand. Benny looked surprised but took Ray's hand and held it securely.

"But it could have been me
Just as easily
Could have been my sister
Left there to bleed"

Ray glanced at his sisters. How could anything ever happen to them? If it were up to him, nothing ever would.

"It could have been my father
Or my brother done the deed."

Ray shuddered, thinking of his own father.

"Oh no...don't let me lose this memory.

Later on that evening, I turn on my TV
Listen as they're talking about the news of a shooting spree
Fourteen young women, shot dead in Montreal
Oh, it's a killing of us all.
Yes it's the killing of us all.

And it could have been me
Just as easily
Could have been my lover
Left there to bleed
Oh it could have been my father
Or my brother done the deed
Oh no..don't let me lose this memory.

And it could have been you
Just as easily
Could have been your sister
Left there to bleed
Oh it could have been your father
Or your brother done the deed
Oh no, don't ever lose this memory.

Don't let us lose this memory
Because it could have been you or me."


Ray looked around. He saw that his family had noticed he was holding hands with Fraser. He would have some explaining to do in the morning, he was sure. But right now, he was going to hold hands with the man that he loved, and keep the darkness away for a little while.

END

Song, "This Memory" by The Wyrd Sisters
(C) 1992 SOCAN