//How can I convince you what you see is real//
//Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel?//

How could he convince Benny that he was sincere? He supposed he didn't blame his friend for doubting himself. God knew, Benny had been hurt enough in his time. Victoria -Psycho Bitch From Hell - a thief and murderer, and Benny had loved her, or thought he did. Would he really
believe that Ray, his best friend, loved him - as anything other than his best friend?

//I was always reaching, you were just someone I knew//
//I took for granted the friend I have in you//

Had he taken Benny for granted? He supposed he had. It hadn't been until Benny had missed his party because he was shacked up with Victoria that he'd realized how much he just expected his friend to *be* there. And then, when they were at the train station, and Benny was running after the train, running after *her*, and she'd been reaching her hand out, to all appearances like she was aiming a weapon at him....Ray had raised his gun, ready to carry out the promise he'd made: "Hurt him and I'll kill you." It was like everything had happened in slow motion after that. He fired,
he saw Benny stiffen and fall to the platform. He didn't know how he'd managed to keep it together in front of Welsh and the Duck Boys. But he'd done what he had to, used his cell to call a an ambulance, then ridden with Benny to the hospital, where he'd told him he would be there waiting when he came out of surgery. Then when no one else was around, he'd gone to the hospital chapel, where he'd lit a candle before collapsing on one of the seats and bawling like a baby.

And he'd just taken for granted that Benny would be there when he came back from his undercover assignment in Las Vegas.

//I was living for a dream
Loving for the moment//

Yeah, he'd had plenty of women of his own. They'd stay for a moment or two, until they got tired of each other or just realized it woudn't work. Louise St Laurent, Suzanne Chapin, and others whose names escaped him now. There had been Irene...at one time he'd thought maybe Irene was *it*, the one who would give him a normal life, even if she was Frankie Zuko's sister. Being in love with her, even if she was a mobster's sister, was more socially acceptable than being in love with his male partner. And he'd been in love with Irene since the time she'd danced with him in gym class, when was that , grade six, grade seven? He couldn't even remember anymore.

//Taking on the world
That was just my style//

Actually, taking on the world was Benny's style. He wanted to right every wrong that had ever been done in the history of humanity. And he expected Ray to be there, at his side. And Ray was. Sure, he'd protest, he'd complain, he'd try to talk Benny out of it, but he was always there, no matter how how ridiculous the cause.

//Now I look into your eyes I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while//

All the while. Benny was just always right there. No matter that Ray had shot him, or that he'd pushed him away when he was infatuated with Irene. He'd even had himself put in jail just to be with Ray and protect him.

//Can we last forever, will we fall apart At times it's so confusing,
these questions of the heart
You followed me through changes, and patiently
you'd wait Till I came to my senses, through some miracle of fate//

How had Benny waited this long for him? How had he endured the numerous times he had gone after some woman or other. Okay, Benny'd had Victoria, and possibly the Dragon Lady, but two women in two years, whereas Ray had lost count of the women he'd dated, chased, romanced. And Benny had waited for him for almost two years while Ray was undercover being Armande
Lagostini.

// Now the miles stretch out behind me loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie victims of the game//

Had he actually broken any hearts? Probably none but Benny's.

// Then good luck it finally struck like lightning from the blue
Every highway leading me back to you//

He couldn't believe that Benny actually wanted him. He was never this lucky. He could hardly believe that the Mountie felt the same way as he did. After vanishing in to an undercover assingnment, promising his friend that he would be in touch and then breaking that promise, he'd come back and found Benny was still there. He had almost left again - Stella Kowalski was an attractive woman, and Florida did sound tempting, but his place was with his partner. No matter where he went, he always came back to Benny. In Ray Vecchio's case, all roads did *not* lead to Rome, even if he was Italian. No, every road led straight to Benton Fraser. And apparently, for Fraser, all roads led back to Ray Vecchio. Yeah, he and Kowalski had gone adventuring up in the frozen north, but they'd eventually given up on finding Franklin's hand and parted on good terms. Apparently Kowalski had fallen for Benny's sister. Well, if she was anything like her brother, Ray didn't blame Stanley Kowalski one bit.

//So if you ever loved me show me that you give a damn
You'll know for certain the man I really am//


He'd finally screwed up the courage to ask if Benny could ever love him, had ever loved him. He hadn't known until he'd finally choked the words out if he could really show the Canadian who - what - he really was. But really, didn't Benny know who he really was anyway? He'd seen the worst of Ray, and he'd stayed. He knew his partner better than anyone else, even his own family.

//Now at last I hold you, now all is said and done
The search has come full circle, our destinies are one//

After they'd confessed their true feelings for each other, they'd fallen in to bed in Fraser's new apartment (he'd finally moved out of the consulate) and made happy, sweaty, playful, sensual love. And then Fraser had fallen asleep in Ray's arms. But Ray stayed awake. He just wanted to look at Benny. Forever, if possible.

//Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever//

Benny opened his eyes and looked at the man holding him. "I love you, Ray," he said. His lover kissed him. "I love you too, caro," said Ray.

//The search is over
Love was right before my eyes.//


END


Email: wy236@victoria.tc.ca

Web Page: http://victoria.tc.ca/~wy236/