Wild Horses

By Riley

Pairings: BF/MT

Rating: PG-15

Type: Angst. Episode Related. Fixit. Romance.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and I'm not making any money from this story. The songs are "It Doesn't Matter" by Alison Krauss & Union Station, and "Wild Horses" by The Sundays.

Note: This story is set in and after COTW.

Wild Horses
By Riley

Police Station, Chicago, IL, USA.

Thatcher looked at Fraser and felt herself tear. Francesca was right. She couldn't expect Fraser to go with her and live in a city just because she wanted him to!

{It doesn't matter what I want

It doesn't matter what I need

It doesn't matter if I cry

Don't matter if I bleed

You've been on a road

Don't know where it goes

Or where it leads}

It dawned on Meg just how much a part of her life he had become, and sadly, how much she took him being there for granted. Meg couldn't bear to lose him. To not see him everyday. To not hear his gentle comforting voice. She now knew what if felt like to have your heart crack. She could hear it falling to pieces inside of her. She'd tried so hard not to let this man into her heart, but he'd
found a way in despite her efforts, and she thought of him as a part of her, without him, she wasn't whole. Meg supposed she could be selfish and ignore his needs, putting her own first, but she knew that he would be unhappy in Toronto. And Meg knew that if she really loved him, she would put him first.

{It doesn't matter what I want

It doesn't matter what I need

If you've made up your mind to go

I won't beg you to stay

You've been in a cage

Throw you to the wind

You fly away}

She felt cold inside. Empty. Devoid of any feelings. Her shoulders slumped with her spirits. The thought of losing him made her consider telling him her true feelings for him; but then again, wouldn't that be emotional blackmail? She knew he loved her too, but he'd been hurt enough over the years for her to add to it by asking him to choose between her and his wilderness home that he also loved. She just couldn't ask him to make that kind of a decision; one that she knew he would regret later, whichever he chose. No, it was better for him to think there was no chance with her than to make him choose.

{It doesn't matter what I want

It doesn't matter what I need

It doesn't matter if I cry

Don't matter if I bleed

Feel the stain of tears

Falling on this face you loved for years}

Far North of Canada

She stood in the snow supervising the arrest of the criminals. Without seeing him, she felt his approach. She turned and gave him a sad smile. "Well, we caught them Fraser."

He stood next to her. "Yes sir, we did."

"I.Fraser."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm going to miss you, you do know that don't you?"

He nodded solemnly. "It doesn't have to be like this you know?"

"I beg your pardon?"

He held his hand out and gestured away from the others. "Can we talk over here?" Thatcher nodded and they walked away from the rest, side by side. When they stopped some distance away, just behind some Douglas Fir, Fraser said, "What do you intend to do now?"

"Well, I suppose we'll all get a promotion, so, I'm hoping to return home to Toronto. And you?"

"I think my work in the RCMP is done."

"What do you mean?"

"I've arrested my mother's murderer, now my parents can both rest in peace. I.well." he rubbed his brow. "That is to say, I saw something that opened my eyes. I want to make my own life. I no longer want the RCMP to be all I have to live for."

"I see! So what will you do?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Well, that all depends on you!"

"Wh.what do you mean, 'it depends on me'?"

He took a deep breath and then went for it, "I have tried to obey your wishes to erase the contact from my memory, but the fact of the matter is that I can't. And I believe that is because I don't want to. I don't know if out here is the place to say it, but if I don't, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Margaret Thatcher, I love you. And I want to build a life with you."

Thatcher's eyes started to well up, and her voice broke as she spoke, "You.are you sure? Are you sure that you will be happy with me? I'm not a country girl Fraser. Believe me, I've tried to like it here, I really have, but.but, if I'm to be honest it's my idea of hell. It's freezing up here. And I thought about putting up with it to be with you, I honestly have, but I know I'd end up making your life a misery because I'd be unhappy here. I think I might actually go mad!"

To her surprise he smiled. "Oh Meg!" He moved forward and embraced her in a warm hug. She returned it, and clung on to him, fearing it may be the last time she ever held him. She couldn't help it, she started to cry.

He pulled back slightly and looked at her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked tenderly, and kissed her forehead.

"It's just holding you.I just, oh Ben, I realised it would be the last time I held you and." she couldn't finish and cried harder. He pulled her to him and stroked her hair, while holding her tightly to him.

"Shush! Shush! It's all right Meg. There's no need to cry."

He heard Meg's muffled voice say, "Yes there is, I love you."

He held her even tighter then and placed kisses in her hair. "Meg, there really is no need to cry, because I'm going to hold you every day." She stopped crying at that, and pulled back to look at him, however, still holding on to him just incase. He smiled. "Meg, I know I don't need to live here to be happy. What I do need to be happy is you. Without you everything is meaningless." He looked deep into her eyes, and hers searched his.

{You know who I am

You know I can't lie to you

Just like in my eyes

And wild horses couldn't drag me away

And wild horses couldn't drag me away}

"Oh Ben, I love you so much."

"And I love you Meg." He bent his head down and their mouths met in a long and passionate kiss.

{We've too much to suffer

We're delving in pain

And wild horses couldn't drag me away

And wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away}

Kissing him, Meg felt herself become whole again. For the first time in her life she felt truly loved and in love.

Ben knew she was now his forever, and the more they kissed, the more he felt all of his pain that he'd suffered ebb away.

They pulled back for air, and it started to snow. They both smiled at each other. Looking at Meg, Fraser knew that now was the moment. He knelt down on one knee in front of her. Under normal circumstances he would have realised that was not a good idea, but he was in love, and everything else went out of the window. His knee sunk into the deep snow, and he started to fall. Thatcher went to catch his arm. This only resulted in the two of them falling down in the snow together. Thatcher ending up on top of Fraser.

Looking at each other and their predicament, they started to laugh. "Why did you do that, I'd have thought you'd have known you'd sink in the snow?" Meg asked.

"Well, I was trying to be traditional in going down on one knee to ask you to marry me!"

"What? What did you just say?"

From underneath her, he took hold of her appropriate hand and said, "Meg Thatcher will you marry me?"

In answer she covered his mouth with hers and kissed him for all she was worth.

"Am I to take that for a yes then?"

She smiled down at him, "Yes. Yes, I would love to marry you Ben."

"Well, then I suggest we get up off the snow and announce it to the world!" With a silly grin plastered on both of their faces, they each helped the other to stand and started to walk back to the others to relay the good news.

"Ben, are you sure you'll be happy in Toronto?"

"With you, I'll be happy anywhere." He took hold of her hand and squeezed it. They continued to walk hand in hand. "You know, my mother always found this kind of area unappealing too."

"She did?"

"Oh yes. My father used to tell me that it nearly drove her mad at some of the places where he was stationed, with there being only snow for miles and nothing else. I think we would all have been better off if he had moved and got stationed somewhere else! But that's in the past. This is the present and even though I look around here and feel at home, I've changed too. I don't think I'd be happy here. In fact I know I wouldn't. I've been in Chicago for four years now and made some wonderful friends, and met you. I've never really had friends like that before, or someone I feel totally in love with. I wouldn't want to move back up here on my own now."

It was Thatcher's turn to squeeze Ben's hand now. "I've been thinking, we could compromise, we could live just outside Toronto so that I could commute in, and you and Dief would have room to breathe!"

He smiled lovingly at her. "I think that's a wonderful idea Meg."

{Let's do some living

And wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day}



--- Riley