Title: 101 Positions in 20 Minutes

Author/pseudonym: Amedia

Fandom: Emergency!

Pairing: Johnny/Chet

Rating: PG-13 - Slash

Status: Complete

Archive: Wonderful World of Make Believe

Disclaimers: This story is written for pure pleasure and is not intended to infringe on any pre-existing copyrights.

Summary: One author's response to PEJA's challenge!

101 POSITIONS IN 20 MINUTES

By Amedia

"Johnny!" Roy burst into the hospital room. "I came as soon as I heard you were here."

"And Chet says *I* get aroused too easily," Johnny rejoined. Then he smiled at Roy. "No, really, man, thanks for visiting."

"So what happened?" Roy asked. Johnny looked pale and drained despite his chipper mood, and his right leg was in traction. In the next bed, Chet looked asleep, but he didn't stir when Roy came in. A placid smile was fixed on Chet's face. "You, um, hurt your leg?"

"Docs said I put too much strain on it--it wasn't fully healed from the last time a ceiling fell on it."

Roy nodded. "Well, what did you do to strain it? And how come Chet's smiling?"

"Pull up a chair, Roy, it's a long story," said Johnny. "See, we answered this ad ...."

*****

"Chet, look at this!" Johnny said, waving an underground newspaper in front of his friend's face. "You were wondering what to do on our next three-days-off."

"Hey," said Chet, reading the ad Johnny had circled. "I have to admit, it looks promising."

The ad read: "Ardent group seeks footage for homo video. Will pay $100 for 101 positions in 20 minutes. We provide equipment."

There was a phone number listed at the end. "Why don't you give them a call, Johnny?"

Johnny picked up the phone and dialed. "Hi, yeah, listen, I'm calling about your ad. Uh huh, how does that work? Yeah, I can give you my address ....Will they get here by next week? Great! And then we drop them off where we got them and you'll pick them up the same day. Fantastic. Thanks!" He hung up the phone. "They have a deal with an electronics store--they're gonna send us a voucher for a camcorder and a blank video tape. And we can just drop the tape off with the machine when we're done."

"Gee, when they said they provided equipment, I thought they meant ... you know," Chet gestured vaguely in the air. "Props."

"Oh, you mean like a trapeze or something! I'm sure we can improvise. You know, it's amazing what you can do with a Chinese jumprope and an articulated stepladder."

*****

"So you guys did 101 positions in twenty minutes," Roy concluded in amazement.

"Well, not exactly. More, actually. You know how much blank tapes cost, and they only sent one voucher. So we kinda worked out a routine and went through it a few times, to practice."

Roy nodded. "And now you're in traction and Chet's in a coma."

"Yeah, but it was a great tape," Johnny grinned. "We dropped it off yesterday afternoon on our way over here."

"Hey, that reminds me," said Roy. "When I heard you were in the hospital this morning, I stopped to check on your mail. It hadn't come yet, but someone had pushed this envelope through the slot." He pulled out a pink envelope with a flowery design.

"Can you read it to me?" asked Johnny.

"Sure," said Roy. He opened it carefuly and drew out a piece of pink paper.

"Dear Messrs. Gage and Kelly--"

"Wake up, Chet, this is for you, too," said Johnny.

Chet half-opened his eyes. "Hand me the strawberry body oil, would you, Roy?" he murmured, and closed his eyes again.

Roy looked at Johnny. Johnny winked. Roy blushed. He hastily went back to reading the letter.

"--or may we call you Johnny and Chet? We certainly feel as if we know you."

Johnny chuckled.

Roy continued. "I'm afraid, however, that you were operating under a misconception. We placed our ad over the phone and whoever transcribed it made several glaring errors." Roy stopped for a moment. "Um, Johnny, you're not going to like this."

Johnny frowned. "Keep reading, Roy."

"It should have read: 'R.N. group seeks footage for PROMO video. Will pay $100 for 101 PHYSICIANS in 20 minutes.'"

"Oh, no!" Johnny groaned.

"Wait," said Roy. He continued reading. "I must tell you, however, that we ALL enjoyed your tape immensely--in fact, we're going to get together tonight and pop popcorn and watch it again! Love--" Roy broke off. "It's signed with half-a-dozen women's names and several lipstick kisses."

Johnny sighed. "Wow. Talk about humiliation. And there goes our hundred bucks, too."

"Not quite," said Roy with a smile. He shook the envelope. "There's three more things in here." He drew the slips of paper out carefully and handed them to Johnny.

"Hey!" said Johnny, pleased. "Look at this, Roy! A check for TWO hundred dollars, and two more vouchers for a camcorder rental and a blank tape."

Roy looked from Johnny to Chet and back again. "Why, Johnny, I do believe you have a fan club."

The End