Title: Death Is Only The Beginning

Author: Laura Foxx

Category: Het

Fandom: Emergency!

Rating: PG

Pairing: Dixie/Johnny, Dixie/Kel (later)

Archive: Yes .

Content Warning: Some harsh language. Character death.

Death Is Only the Beginning
by Laura Foxx

Dixie McCall smiled to herself as she hung up the phone...that special kind of cat-ate-the-canary smile that women get when they have a secret. She perked up even more as she saw John Gage coming toward the nurses' station. The nurse stepped around front to meet him.

"About time you got around to me," she teased.

He grinned at her. "You were just lonely for my charms."

Dixie kissed the paramedic's cheek. "Among other things." Her smile grew wider. "You're off tomorrow, right?"

"Yep."

"Well..." she drawled, "so am I. We'll have to get together...I've got something I wanted to tell you anyhow."

Johnny's dark eyebrow raised, and he smiled again. He looked so adorable when he did that, Dixie mused...maybe that was why she had fallen head over heels in love with a man 12 years younger than herself. May/December romances weren't always a bad thing.

"Tell me now?" Johnny pleaded.

Dixie laughed. "No, you're just going to have to wait, love. Now scoot. We don't need any more rumors about us flying around this place than there already are."

"That's for sure." Johnny looked around to see if anyone was watching, then kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later, Dix."

"See ya." Dixie smiled yet again, watching him go. They had decided, for obvious reasons, to keep their relationship a secret for the time being. Only their closest friends knew the truth. She turned back to her paperwork, hardly noticing as Kelly Brackett slipped up behind her.

"Dix?"

Dixie jumped slightly, startled, then nodded to him in greeting. "Hi, Kel."

"Johnny's been by, hasn't he?"

"How could you tell?"

"You've got that look again." Brackett shook his head softly, unable to stop himself from noticing yet again how breathtakingly beautiful she was--at least in his opinion. John Gage was a lucky man. Brackett had once been involved with Dixie, but those days were long over. They had mutually decided that it was best for them just to be
friends. It was mostly his fault, he supposed. He'd been afraid to commit for some crazy reason or another. He couldn't remember the reason now--but he didn't guess it mattered anymore. She wasn't his, she wasn't going to be, and that was just the way things were. He'd had his chance, and he'd screwed things up. Who was he to complain
about the state of affairs?

Dixie had noticed the doctor's sometimes-strange behavior around her, but she hadn't linked it to their past romance. She assumed it was simply because he was still getting over the surprise everyone had felt upon discovering that she and Johnny were a couple (well, everyone who knew). The surprise was mainly over the age difference. Everybody had accepted it well enough, but she and Johnny both knew full well that there was still a bit of shock. Had she been in their place, she'd have probably reacted the same way. She finally remembered that Brackett had spoken...she answered him casually, not letting on to her distraction. "Am I really that transparent, Kel?"

"Only to your friends," he assured her. "You seem even more self-satisfied than usual, though. Are you two planning something special...or is it none of my business?"

"Oh, we're planning something, all right," Dixie replied, "but I'm not sure I'm ready to tell anyone just yet." She laughed softly. "It's sort of a secret...and I haven't had the chance to tell him yet."

"Ah, I see. *Those* kind of plans." Brackett chuckled. "Good luck."

"Thanks." Dixie tossed him a friendly smile, and turned back to her work.

"Sure." He shook his head softly, and left.

~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, things picked up. There was a three-alarm fire in an abandoned warehouse downtown. Station 51 was one of the stations responding. It was discovered that there was a teenage runaway inside the building. Johnny and Roy went in to rescue her, but the building was unstable and could have gone at any moment.

Dixie had heard the commotion over the radio, and was eagerly awaiting news of any kind. Even those who weren't in on the little secret of her relationship with Johnny knew something was bothering her, and gave her a bit of space.

They found the runaway, and got her out of the building. Then it happened. The floor gave out in the room Johnny was standing in. It was no coincidence that this was the same time the bottom fell out of Dixie's world. Johnny had been on the third floor--he'd never had a chance. They tried, but they couldn't bring him back.

Upon hearing the news, Dixie rushed into the staff lounge, not wanting to show her emotions to the world. Once there, she burst into tears. The sobs shook her small frame.

Brackett had heard of the tragedy, and came in to see how Dixie was. He knew this was going to be extremely difficult for her...and he wanted to comfort her. As a friend, not a former lover. His heart nearly broke as he walked in, seeing her crying, so obviously shattered. The doctor walked over to the couch she sat on, and gathered her gently into his arms. She clutched at him, crying harder.

After a few moments, Dixie looked up. "God...why now?"

"There's never a good time for these things to happen," Kel soothed.

"I know," Dixie lamented, "but why *now*? We had so much ahead of us...and...I never got to tell him..."

"I know you're hurting, Dix..." Kel began, but she cut him off.

"No, you don't understand." She looked deep into his eyes, her own brimming with tears. "I was gonna make it special...I was going to tell him tomorrow...he'll never know now..." She sighed, releasing her death grip on Kel's shirt. "Kel...I'm pregnant."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roy walked in to the emergency department of Rampart General, visibly distraught. He had good reason, though--he'd (literally) just lost his best friend. But Roy--being Roy--was more worried about how everyone else was taking it than he was about himself. Actually, he was still in denial. The reality of Johnny's death hadn't begun to sink in yet. He knew denial would soon give way to anger, and grief...those were simply the stages of loss. It had once been said that shock was God's anesthetic...it helped one handle something that they wouldn't be able to handle right away, otherwise.

Roy wasted little time in locating Dixie...he knew about her relationship with Johnny, and the whirlwind romance the two had found themselves swept up in these past several months. He knew Johnny had been very much in love with Dixie--and vice versa. Roy hoped she was okay--she had to know by now.

"Dix?" the paramedic asked cautiously, entering the lounge.

She looked up from the couch, where she was sitting, and wiped the tears from her eyes. It did nothing to help her stop crying, but at least she could see a bit better. "Oh, Roy..."

Roy walked over to the couch, and hugged her. "Oh, Dixie...I'm sorry. I know how much you two..."

She cut him off, nodding. "I'll...I'll be okay. How are you holding up?"

"I still can't believe it," Roy replied. "Are you sure you're all right? You look a bit pale."

She nodded again. "I'm just a little nauseous. It comes and it goes."

Roy nodded, holding her tighter. He was worried that she was making herself sick with grief, but he didn't want to say anything just yet. People handled the death of a loved one in different ways.

"Um...Roy..." Dixie began, "there's something I think you need to know."

"What's that?"

"Johnny...he...well, he's not *really* gone..."

Roy smiled at her, moving so that he was sitting beside her. "I know what you mean. We'll never forget him--he's gonna live on in our minds. Is that what you're saying?"

"Not exactly..." Dixie trailed off, and tried to think of a way to phrase this. "A part of him will always be with us." She smiled slowly--the first time she had since hearing the news of Johnny's death--and took Roy's hand. She placed it on her stomach. "Right here."

Roy's eyes widened in surprise. "Dix? Are you trying to tell me that...?"

"Yes, Roy. I'm going to have a baby."

"Johnny's baby."

"Who else?"

"Well, congratulations," Roy offered, trying to muster up as much enthusiasm as he could--wishing he could have seen Johnny's reaction to the news. "Did he know?"

She shook her head. "No...I only found out this morning. I was going to tell him tomorrow." She sighed. "We'd talked about children...of course, we always thought we'd adopt. We never thought that...well, it's almost a miracle."

They talked for awhile longer, before Roy had to leave to go back to the station. As he left, Dixie sighed, and put her own hand on her stomach, feeling very protective of the child that was growing within her body. She missed Johnny so much, already..."Oh, little one...you've got to help me get through this. Please help me."

**********

Dixie had been in her third month before she'd discovered the pregnancy...it didn't take long for her to start showing. She loved her baby dearly...but she hated the look of sympathy she saw in everyone's eyes whenever they looked at her. Yeah, poor Dixie...left alone and pregnant after Johnny's death. What about the baby--who worried about the child who would never know its father?

Time heals all wounds...as the days turned into weeks, it became easier to go on without Johnny. They still missed him fiercely (especially Dixie and Roy), but every day, they got a little stronger. Living without him wasn't quite as difficult as it had been the day before.

Dixie was five months along now, and everything seemed to be going smoothly, despite her age. Becoming a mother for the first time at 39 wasn't exactly easy, but all major disasters seemed to have been averted for the time being. For this, Kel Brackett was eternally grateful. Dixie had already suffered so much, losing Johnny--he didn't think she could take it if anything happened to her child.

He'd admittedly become a bit overprotective of Dixie. He knew she hardly considered herself to be in a "delicate condition", but he still worried. And, so, it caught him off-guard when Dixie gasped suddenly, her eyes widening. Her hand flew to her stomach.

"Dix?! What is it? What's wrong?"

Dixie actually laughed at his apparent near-panic, and smiled. "Nothing's *wrong*, Kel...I felt the baby kick." She took
his hand and put it on her expanded waistline, allowing him to feel it for himself.

Kel smiled with amazement, as he felt the gentle fluttering of her unborn child. "That's incredible, Dix."

"I know." Her grin widened, and she gasped as the baby kicked a little harder. "Wow...this is Johnny's baby, all right."

"You're going to have your hands full with this one," Kel said, smiling affectionately as he turned back to his work. He still had very strong feelings for her, but he wasn't going to act on them. It had barely been two months since Johnny had died. And, besides, he'd already had his chance with her.

Still, Kel couldn't help but wish that it were *his* baby Dixie was carrying.

"Don't I know it," Dixie answered. "I guess it just goes to show you that life really does go on."

"Yes, it certainly does." Kel suddenly got an idea. "Hey, did you want to hear the heartbeat?"

He was rewarded for his efforts with a dazzling smile. "Sure!"

"Come on," he said then, leading her to a treatment room. "It'll only take a few minutes...they can spare us for that long."


TO BE CONTINUED...
in Part 3