© 2000 by krys

I do not own the boys, but if I did, well......

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS. THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSONS ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Nightmare's Return

Author:krys

Rating:NC-17/slash

Fandom: Emergency!

Pairing:Johnny/Roy

Archive:Yes, but leave my name and email intact.

Content Warning:Violence towards main character.

Series: This is the first of two stories

Content Warning:Talk of child abuse of main character both physical and sexual. M/M Relationship.

Summary: Johnny has a problem.

By Krys

Roy came to pick me up from my session with the doctor and said that he wanted to show me something. I was not certain I wanted to see anything. Hell I just wanted to go home and hide in my room. But Roy just wouldn't let me. God, I love this man with all my soul but he can be so damn stubborn.

"So where are we off to today?" I asked, Roy turned slightly so he could see me then looked ahead at where he was going before he answered me.

"Junior, you will just have to be patient and wait. I know you'll just love this." I swear Roy was giggling as he said this.

We drove further out of the city until we were in a mountainous area. Roy stopped the truck in a secluded area and got out. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Roy asked me.

I was sort of out of it at the time and it took a few minutes for me to respond. "Huh? Oh, we're here?" I looked around wondering where here was. " Uh Roy? Where exactly are we?"

"Well, we are in the Angeles mountains not to far from L.A." Roy had that damn look on his face again, you know, the "Cat that swallowed the canary look" Roy had everything but feathers coming out of his mouth.

"Oh, uh, Roy, that really didn't answer my question so I'll ask this instead, What are we doing out here in the middle of nowhere?" I was trying not to get angry, and failing miserably. "Look I don't care what you have in mind I do not want to be here. So you might as well get back in the truck and take me home. I want to go to bed and sleep." I know I was sounding whiny by this time but I didn't care. I was trying to hard not to break down in front of Roy. I hadn't cried in front of anyone since I was 11 and was in the hospital after my cousin had taken his anger out on me.

"No, Johnny. We are not going home yet. I want you to see this place I found I think that you will like it." Roy was determind that this weekend would be good for Johnny. Roy loved him and hated to see him in any kind of pain.

Damn, but that man can be a stubborn ass sometimes. I thought to myself. Here I am just through pouring my heart out to a blasted psychiatrist and Roy wants to take me on a nature hike. Now don't get me wron, I love nature and any thing I can do outside, I just hate being told that I will like or want to see.

Roy and I walk for about a half an hour when Roy suddenlly stops. "Look Johnny" Roy points to his left. Standing amongst the tall pine trees and other vegetation is the most beautiful Buck I have ever seen, making me wish I had a camera. I used to watch my Uncle and cousin slaughter deer every November when I was with them, I hated it. No one should kill an innocent wild animal. Hell killing pigs and cows for meat is bad enough, I do eat meat now don't think I am one of the vegetarians that gets on everybody's case about eating meat, no not me.

"Yeah Roy, ain't he somethin'?" I ask in a hushed tone. Five minutes later we arrive at the spot that Roy wanted to show me. It was the most breathtakingly beautiful sight around. We were on a plateau that overlooked a valley just teeming with wildlife. There we sat side by side and watched the animals drink from the creek that ran along the floor of the valley fed by a small waterfall.

"Wow," I whispered, afraid to break the moment."Thank you for showing this to me."

Roy leaned closer to me and whispered back "You're welcome Johnny." I could feel the wanting in his voice and hear it in the way he whispered, like he was telling me the world's biggest secret and he trusted only me to listen.

"Roy? Why'd you bring me here?" I started, "I mean what do you want from me?"

"I want you, Johnny. It hurts me so much to see you hurting yourself. I want to know why you tried to kill yourself and why you didn't come to me with your problems like you have in the past. I mean, hell Johnny, I've known you for five years and you've always been able to come to me. What happened? What made this so hard for you to tell me?" Tears were running down Roys face as he finished his little speech. I reached up with my left hand and wiped the tears away.

"Don't cry Roy, I....I couldn't tell you because I was scared. I was so afraid that you would hate me if I told you about the dreams and what they meant. My therapist thinks that I should tell all of my friends what happened to me from the time I was 8 until I was 15 years old. I'm trying to figure out how to do it. I only want to tell the story once." By this time I was crying so hard I could barely get the last part out.

We sat on that plateau that day and held hands and cried for all the things that had hurt us throughout our lives.

Part Two

I was not looking forward to the next therapy session, this one was the one. The one where I tell my story to Roy, Cap.,Mike, Marco and yes even good 'ol Chester B.. Dr's. Brackett and Early and Dixie are going to be there as well. I was really scared. I mean I am about to pour out my heart and tell these people, my closest and dearest friends that I was essentially raped and beaten by my legal gaurdian and my cousin, only because they got saddled with me since my mom died and my father gave up on me.

I arrived 10 mins early so I could try to quiet my soul. I hadn't slept at all and was way to keyed up from cup after cup of coffee. I know dumb move but I just couldn't relax. I was worried. More about how Roy would react to what I was going to say than how anyone else was going to react. I guess after this I should let Roy know how I really feel about him. I mean I think he already knows, but one can never be sure.

Finally the time came to go into the dreaded office with the puke green fake leather couch and matching chairs.When I entered Doctor Birkholz's office I could feel the sweat pouring down my back. I was so nauseous I thought I would heave any second and to make things worse there was everyone that I held most dear to me sitting waiting for me to talk.

"Take your time Johnny and just tell us what you have to tell." Doctor Birkholz gave me a confident smile and sat back signalling me to go ahead and talk. I looked around nervously and all that I could hear in my mind was a voice screaming at me that these people, the people that I have thought of as friends for several years were going to find me a sick person for letting what happened to me happen.

Swallowing the bile back that was quickly rising to coat the back of my throat I started my story. "Most of you don't know that I came here from a small ranch in Montana where I was sent to live with my fathers brother and his family after my mother's death when I was eight." I stopped to swallow hard again my stomach was getting even queasier. "My life was a misery, my uncle hated me because I was half Indian. He rasied my cousin to be the same way. They took great delight in..." I trailed off as the nausea won out. I jumped from my seat looking for the nearest available thing to throw up into.Roy knew what was coming and had the waste can under my face and was supporting my head in seconds.

"Just take it easy." Roy whispered soothingly while rubbing my back as Dixie took the can from him. "That's it slow, deep breaths."

I looked up into Roy's face and felt my world come crashing down on me. How could I do this? I loved Roy so much and he would hate me once he knew. Dropping to my knees I buried my face in my arms and started to sob."I c.c..can't...please...y..y..you'll h..hate..me." I sobbed.

I felt Roy pull me into his arms and continue whispering to me,"Shh, Johnny, it'll be alright. We are all here for you. We don't hate you and there is nothing you can do to make us hate you."

I wanted so much to believe him. I mean I know in my heart that they didn't hate me but my mind is a different story. It believes that I not only don't deserve to have the kind of friends that I have but that the should be turning their backs on me.

I snugggled closer to Roy and he wrapped his arms around me even tighter and said that he wouldn't let me go. "I got you Johnny, just hold on and tell us the rest. I won't let you go and nothing you say here will make me let go."

I started my story again with a quiet voice. "My uncle like to use me as a punching bag. It started with his belt and graduated to his fists. I was a fast runner from the time my uncle swung that damn belt at me the first time but I could never out run him. My cousin on the other hand had other ideas about what I was good for. From the time that I was 9 until I finally got tall enough to stand up to him, he used me in the most vilest of ways. I was sexually abused by my cousin, he made me do things that no kid should have to do let alone know about."

I drew a deep breath and waited for Roy to let me go and the yelling to start. It never happened. If anything Roy held me closer and tighter and then next thing I knew was being surrounded by my friends and family and being told that I was not a bad person and that I was loved. And I felt loved.

------------------------

I slowly finished telling my story about the abuse and how I dealt with it.

"By the time that I was 12 I had pretty much given up on everything. I got barely passing grades in school and spent most of my time with the horses on my uncles ranch. I mostly tried to forget what was happening to me. I had read a book about firemen that I snuck home from the library. You see I was forbidden to go anywhere other than to school, so I had to sneak around to go to the library or the store to buy things that I needed. My aunt gave me money to buy clothes and personal items whenever she could even still I had a pretty raggedy wardrobe, my uncke gave me some of my cousins old cast offs that should have been thrown in the trash. He said that they were for going to school only. I had to wear even older and more ratty clothes while I worked on the ranch. Summers were ok since I didn't have to wear much clothing to begin with, usually I wore just a pair of overalls or jeans and my boots, those were the only thing my uncle made sure I had, good work boots."

By the time I had stopped talking I was sitting on the floor between Roy's legs with his arms tightly around me. I leaned my head back not caring if anyone saw the way I felt. Roy squeezed me slightly and encouraged me to go on.

"I left the ranch when I turned 15. I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to be hit any more and the things my cousin used to do were now being done by my uncle and his friends along with my cousin who was helping to run the ranch and going to junior college. I never got a chance to date girls or go to the movies or anything a normal teenager would do.

I was told that all I could do from day one was to go to school and come straight home and start on my chores. I was given a whipping every morning and afternoon just because my uncle said that I needed it to remind me of my place in his family. Then after the chores were done and before dinner, punishment was doled out. It didn't matter how big or small the infraction was or even if there was one, I got 20 to 30 licks with a paddle or belt. These were the worst because I had to sit down after wards and listen to a 15 minute lecture on how my uncle was doing my father a favor by giving me a roof over my head and food in my belly. Damn that made me so fucking mad that I had to listen to this. I mean, hell, if he hated me so much why did he keep me around?

Anyway by the time I was 15 I was through. I packed what little belongings I had and left one night. It was late summer and the nights were already getting cooler and I onky had a light jacket to wear. I hitchhiked to Billings and spent the last of the money that my aunt had been giving to me and bought a bus ticket to the only city I could afford, Denver, CO, after spending 6 weeks on the streets and nowing that winter was well on the way I lit out to warmer climates, namely California, I had heard that it was warm and sunny there even in the winter. I made my way from Denver with some over the road truckers and paid my way with "favors" if you know what I mean. I made it to Los Angeles 4 days after I had started out. I had money in my pocket from some of the "favors" that I did for the truckers and had not a clue as to what to do. I found shelter at a catholic church and started talking to the priests there. I wemt back to school and got my diploma then I applied for the fire department. I was hired shortly after applying and finished in the top 10% of my training class at the academy."

I stopped to draw a breath and the doctor called it a day. I didn't realize that I had been talking for 2 hours. One hour more than my usual session.

I got up off the floor and was suddenly surrounded by my friends. It seemed that every body wanted to give me a hug, now I knew how a doll must feel.

Roy was the last one of the group to leave. "Hey, Johnny?" he started, "you want me to follow you home?"

I think he was a little worried about me, can't say that I blame him. "Uhm, sure Roy, that'd be nice." I said quietly.

So Roy followed me to my little ranch house just inside Los Angeles proper.

-----------------

Roy followed me to my ranch and smiled at me after he got out of his car, "Wow, Johnny! You've done a great job with this place since the last time I was here."

Yeah I think to myself. He hadn't been out here in over 5 months. I was beginning to think that he didn't want to come over because of the way I felt about him, but then sanity prevailed and I changed that tune real quick. I mean he knows I love him, but I don't think he knows how I love him.

"Yeah Roy, I've been working hard. Ya know what with the damn dreams and all I seem to have a lot of energy to fix things up. I know my horses appreciates it." I say this as I am walking to the barn to feed my horses.

After checking on the horses and making sure that the water trough is full I head into the house. "Can I get you something to drink Roy?"

"Yea, some ice tea would be nice." Roy followed me into the kitchen.

I was reaching into the cupboard when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist. I groaned in pleasure and leaned back into the embrace. I reached behind me and put my left hand on the back of Roys neck, turned my head and captured his mouth with mine relishing in this first contact.

As we pull apart I turn to face Roy. Searching his eyes for the answer."Roy?" I barely squeak out.

"Oh, Johnny! You don't know how long I have wanted to kiss you. It's been hard not knowing how you really felt about me." Roy's shaky voice was barely audible.

"Really?" I was still not to sure with myself,"I have wanted to do that since I met you. But you were married then, and I was just content to see you at your house with your family"

"Come here Johnny, I want to tell you something." Roy walked into the livingroom and sat down on the overstuffed sofa sinking into it as if it was made just for him."When I first met you I could tell that there was something special about you. I just didn't know what it was. I now know. It's the way you look when a child is hurt and you are trying so hard to hold in your anger at the adults who caused the situation to begin with. I also know that it's the way you take everything that Chet throws at you with out losing your cool. I didn't know then that ability was caused out of fear of confrontation. I know that I just want to take away all your pain and make you happy for the rest of your days no matter what happens."

I walked over to the couch and reached for Roy pulling him into my arms and kissing away his tears.

"Oh Roy, please don't cry. You know I don't like making you upset, it only upsets me more." I rained tiny kisses over his face then taking his lips with mine using my tongue to gain entrance. I ran my hands all over his body revelling in the feel of his cotton clad chest, tweaking his nipples through his shirt.

He ran his hands up under my white tee shirt and rubbed his hands all over my chest stopping to rub his palms on my nipples same as I was doing to him.

"God, Johnny, I need you so bad," Roy panted, "Please touch me."

"Roy!, let's take this somewhere more comfortable like say my bedroom" I was panting by this time as well, as we chased each other up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

Once we were in the room our hands were all over each other trying to remove our clothes. We just stood there staring at each other in all our naked glory drinking in each others beauty.

Roy made the first move and took me slowly into his arms and kissed me for all I was worth, never had I felt this good before. You see after my child hood I was you could say a little put off of sex, any kind be it man or woman. I just didn't want anything to do with it.

That's why I'm always getting dumped by the nurses at the hospital. But this, this was different, I dreamed about this for years. Going from lowly teenage type wet dreams into full fledge lust. Something I had never felt before. Love came to my mind about 3 weeks ago when the dreams got real bad. I felt as if a great weight was being lifted off my shoulders as Roy nuzzled my neck leaving little love bites all over.

"Slow down, Roy." I whispered into his ear, "We have all night, babe. Let's make it last."

"Ah Johnny I love you so much it hurts, I just want to hold you and taste you and smell you."Roy was almost comprehension at this point.

Our bodies melted into each other and the heat was utterly amazing. I reached between our bodies and gently took ahold of Roy's hard member giving it a tentative squeeze, relishing the moan that came from my lovers throat. While I was slowly stroking him Roy was running his hands up and down my spine leaving hot trails of excitement and goosebumps in his wake.

We climaxed together this first time and collapesed onto my king size bed in utter exhaustion falling into the deep sleep of the totally sated.

I was looking forward to spending my future with Roy and hoping that he could help me find the calm center that I so needed to deal with all the shit I had to work through so I could go back to work doing the job I so loved doing.

Part Three

I'm not sure what woke me, but I slowly became aware of a nice warm, fuzzy body lying next to me. I moved closer to snuggle into the warmth, when I heard someone pounding on my front door and yelling for me.

I sat up suddenly when I recognized the voice.

The voice I thought I had left behind me some twelve years ago when I left Montana.

As the yelling got louder I looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was 1 in the morning.

"Damn!" I thought "where'd he come from?" That's as for as my thoughts got when I heard a roar from outside then my uncle really yelled.

"I KNOW you're in there BOY!" The yelling was increasing in decibles by the minute."You better get your ass down here and answer this door!!!!"

Roy had awakened by this time and turned to stare at me "Who is it, babe?"

Suddenly another shout came from outside,"You better get your skinny ass down here now, don't make me come in there and get you!"

"Just that fuckin' asshole I thought I left behind twelve years ago." Man, I was more scared than I had ever been in my life.

Roy looked at me with those lovely blue eyes and calmly spoke,"It'll be okay. The house is locked up, just call the police and let them handle him."

That seemed reasonable and I picked up the phone and dialed the number by heart and got in touch with the Los Angeles Sheriffs Department.

Just as a dispatcher answered there was a crash from down stairs. I pushed Roy into the bathroom and told him to lock the door and not to come out no matter what happened. Then I locked the bedroom door and turned my attention back to the phone I was holding in my left hand.

"What? Uh,yeah, this is John Gage and some one just broke into my house. I need the police as soon as possible. My address is 11248 MacAurthur Road." I set the phone on the floor by the bed, leaving the line to the police open, and out of line of site with the door. Then I crouched down on the other side of the bed completely oblivious as to my state of undress.

He was pounding on my bedroom door now, trying to get in. I saw the knob start to wiggle, then the door came flying open. "There you are you little shit! Get your ass over here!" His eyes were black with rage.

I tried to think but all I could do was cringe and do as I was told. It didn't matter that I was 27 and not 9 anymore, I just started moving. I stopped just out of reach though. This seemed to enrage the man even more.

"I said, get your skinny but over here! Now what part of that did your mind not understand?" His face was red as he stepped yet closer to where I now stood rooted. "I've been looking for you for a long long time. Now I can finish what I started all those years ago."

I could smell the alcohol on his breath and it was turning my stomach just like it did when I was a kid."So, you found me I hope you're proud of yourself" I cringed as soon as thos words came out of my mouth.'Damn Gage you never learn do ya' I thought.

I never saw the fist that slammed into my mouth, all I know was that I had my hand holding my jaw and seeing the blood from the split lip running through. The trance I seemed to be in broke at that moment and I dodge the mad man and ran down the stairs to the back door. I made it as far as the yard half way between the deck and the barn when I felt a great weight slam into me and I was knocked to the ground.

I was having difficulty breathing because of the weight on me and most likely a couple of broken ribs. I tried to buck him off, but he was just too heavy. It was getting harder to breathe and the world started to get that grey, fuzzy look that happens just before you pass out.

I was vaguely aware of the sounds of sirens in the distance, when I felt a sharp pain in my back. "Fuck!" I screamed. "Get the fuck off me old man!" Boy I was pissed now the son of a bitch just stabbed me.I redoubled my efforts to get out from under him when I heard an almost primal scream and the next thing I knew the weight was gone and I could breathe a little easier. How ever what I saw made my blood turn cold, Roy was trying to wrestle the knife away from my uncle and not succeeding. I cringe at Roys cry of pain knowing that my uncle had found his mark and stabbed my lover.

The sound of the sirens was getting louder and I could make out the sounds of a fire engine and squad as well as that of the police. I sighed with relief knowing that help was soon to be there.

I think I passed out at about that time because the next thing I knew Brice was over me shinning a light into my eyes. "It's alright, Gage, just checking for a concussion."

"I never hit my head, Brice. How's Roy? Where is he?" I started panicing at this time and trying to get up.

"Just take it easy Gage. Roy's okay, Bellingham is taking a look at him." I started to drift back into the darkness as Brice was saying this, safe in the knowledge that my love was safe.

--------------

I awoke slowly,not really wanting to open my eyes. For some reason I thought I had to get up and go to work, but as my mind began to focus I was sure that I didn't have to worry about being late for work.I was in the hospital and the pain in my jaw and back was making itself known. I pushed the call button that was in my hand and waited for the pain and nausea to pass knowing somehow that throwing up would not be a good idea. In fact as I ran my toungue over my teeth I began to feel tears well up in my eyes as the thought of having my jaw wired shut was not good. I mean how was I going to kiss Roy and tell him that I was alright and not to worry?

The tears were still falling when I heard the door to my room open. I turned my head towards the door and tried to smile when I saw Dixie peek around the door, "Is it safe?" she said with that smile that just makes you want to believe that there is nothing in the world to be worried about.

I quickly wipe my eyes and try to smile and I nod my head as talking is a little too much at this time. I hiss as the pain in my back flares bright while trying to sit up. Dixie steps up to the bed and raises it so I am in more of a sitting position.

"Is that better?" Dixies smile just melts my heart.

I can only nod my head yes and mime to her for a piece of paper and a pencil. I figure if I can't talk I might as well write.

'How's Roy?' is the first thing I write. Dixie laughs as she reads this note.

"He's fine, Johnny. He'll be in to see you this afternoon. Now is there anything else I can get you before I return to my post in the Emergency Room?"

I pick up the pad and think for just a moment. 'Yeah, can I have some water? My tongue feels about three sizes to big'

Again Dix chuckled. "Let me see what Doctor Morton has to say first. I don't think there will be any reason why you can't have some water or maybe some juice. You will be on a liquid diet for at least the next four weeks though."

I shrug at the last statement and just sigh knowing that she is right. My thoughts turn to Roy while I wait for Dixie to speak with Morton.

I drifted back to sleep after Dixie and Morton left dreaming good dreams for a change. Dreams about Roy and the life we can have together. I hear the door whisper open and feel someone quietly enter. I crack open my eyes and see that it is none other than good ol' Chester B., the last person I needed to see right now especially with my jaw wired shut.

"So Johnny," Chet started,"cat got your tongue?" Chet just laughed at his own stupid joke and I just groaned.

I picked up the pad and pencil and started writing furiously,'What do you want, Chet? Did you come here just to torment me? I don't need it you know'

Chet took the note and read it. Next thing I knew he had a hurt look on his face, "Now would I do that to you? You're my favorite pigeon and I couldn't kick you when you're down." Chet was trying his best to be sincere about the whole thing.

Roy came in about 15 minutes after Chet left. He smiled at me and leaned over and kissed me softly on my forehead. "How ya feeling, babe?" He asked as tears rolled down his cheek," I thought I was going to lose you when that s.o.b. tackled you in the yard. I just couldn't stand by and watch I had to do something."

I took his right hand in both of mine and squeezed as if my life depended on having that hand in mine. I smiled as wide as I could and shook my head. 'Damn, but I do love him.' I thought.

I reached for the pad and began to write the longest note I have ever written.

'Oh Roy, I love you so much that it hurts, I am so relieved that you weren't hurt worse than you were. I can't begin to apologize and tell you how sorry I am that you had to be a part of this. I honestly thought I had left that world behind when I got to L.A. I had no idea he would come after me. It kinda surprises me I thought that if he was going to come after me he would have done it sooner than this.'

Roy read the note then put it down. He reached for me and very carefully wrapped his arms around me gently and held me as we both cried tears of relief and of love.

I drifted off to sleep wrapped in the arms of my one true love, the man who held the key to my heart and soul.

3 weeks later:

I was sitting in my livingroom waiting for Roy to finish getting dressed. In the two weeks since I got out of the hospital Roy has been with me as much as he could be. He took the first week off so I could have the help I needed getting around. My back healed quickly with minor setbacks, mostly a pesky infection that seemed to like staying with me. My jaw on the other hand was not doing as well, the oral surgeon who set my jaw the first time had to go back and rebreak and reset it. Now talk about pain!

My wired jaw should be released from jail in another four weeks. I won't be able to go back to work until all wires, screws,rubberbands, and whatever else the dentist put in there are totaly removed. I felt pretty down at first, but thankfully I was able to use up my time finishing fixing up the ranch.

Now the time has come to go to court. My uncle is going to stand trial for assualt, assualt with a deadly weapon and attempted murder. He is facing life in prison and I have to sit in that court room and face him. My Aunt Theresa and cousin Bobby are going to be there as well. I haven't seen any of my family since I left at 15, my father I haven't seen since I was 9, to be honest I don't even know if he is still alive.

While Roy was finishing getting ready the doorbell rings. I look out the side window and see an older woman standing on the porch. I opened the door and took in the sight of my aunt. She looked smaller and sadder than I remember her being. I took a step back and motioned her to come in. I then reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my pad and pen getting ready to write her a note.

She put her hand on my arm to stop me saying softly, "Oh Johnny, I am so sorry I never thought he would do this to you. I don't know what has come over him. He's been drinking more and I am afraid that the Ranch is in trouble. I can't express my sorrow enough I can only hope that you will find forgivness in your heart."

With that last statement she turned and walked out the door and down the walk. She got into a car and left. I stood there totally stunned. I didn't hear Roy come up behind me so I flinched when he touched me on the shoulder.

"Sorry babe, didn't mean to startle you. Who was that Johnny?" Roy asked quietly.

"That was my Aunt Theresa. She came by to apologize for what my uncle did. I can't understand why she stays with him. She said that they're losing the ranch." I couldn't go on. I grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

We arrived at the county court house forty-five minutes later and was immediately surrounded by media types. Roy did my talking for me since I was still wired shut. I wasn't sure how the attorneys were going to question me yet other than what the D.A. had already told me. He had said something about using an erasable pad and pen that I was to use to answer his questions, our hope was that the defense attorney would allow me to use it since I can not communicate the usual way.

Judge Cecilia Maes called the court room to order and started the show. I was startled to see a woman sitting on a criminal trial. D.A. Peters whispered to me that she was the best in the business and I believed him.

I was finally called to the stand after the defense called there oh so short list of witnessess. As feared the defense lawyer objected to my using the pad and pen saying that there was no way for the jury to really tell if I was telling the truth.

"Overruled." Judge Maes retorted."You may begin Mr.Peters."

I sighed in relief and got ready to tell my story. I told how it all started some nineteen years ago on a small ranch in rural Montana and all the things that happened to me. I told the jury about the nightmares and as hard for me as it was for Roy and my friends to hear I also told of my attempted suicide and what led up to me being in the court room that day.

Three hours after the closing arguments the jury returned guilty verdicts on all counts. Sentencing was set for two weeks later.

I was finally relieved two weeks later when the judge sent my uncle to prison for no less than 25 yrs and no more than 50 yrs. I was able to sleep through the night knowing that I never had to deal with my family ever again. My cousin Bobby vowed revenge but his mother cuffed him upside the head and told him to behave himself. I had to giggle at that.

Two weeks after the sentencing I was finally allowed to go back to the job I love and work with the best and closest friends who I now consider my family now.

As for me and Roy, well he sold his house, told JoAnn that he was moving so she would know where the kids would be going during their visit the coming summer. I now slept the sleep of one who has his hearts desire right next to me day and night.

~fini~