Winter Wonderland
By Wildfire

Rating: G

Winter Wonderland
By Wildfire

Roy DeSoto was standing in front of his locker waiting for his partner to make his appearance. ‘Better hurry, Junior’ DeSoto thought as he buttoned his shirt. ‘Cap was pissed off the last time you were late and he sure doesn’t look happy right now!’

"Good Morning, Everyone!" Johnny said as he blew in the door.

"Hey, Gage! Nice of you to join us!" Chet Kelly stepped into the locker room to watch Gage, his pigeon, become the victim of the Phantom’s latest prank. Johnny opened his locker and a loud sploosh was heard.

"Damn you, Kelly!" Johnny was soaked…again.

"The Phantom never rests, Gage! Bwahahah!" Kelly ducked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Cap was standing in the bay, waiting for everyone to filter into the room.

He had heard the interchange between Gage and Kelly. ‘Twits! When do they ever rest?’ He thought to himself.

"Come on, you guys! Roll Call!" Cap yelled as he flicked his pen against his clipboard. The men strolled into the room, Johnny tucking a dry shirt in.

"Let’s make this short and sweet. We’ve got hose testing this morning and you two," he pointed at John and Roy, "You have a couple of student nurses coming by for a demo. Gage, try to refrain from getting their phone numbers! Ok, here are the assignments for the day. DeSoto- dorm, Marco- kitchen, Mike- hoses, Gage- you help Mike, and Chet-"

"Let me guess, Cap! Latrine?" Chet said despairingly.

"Chet, you have become clairvoyant! I figured since you like to play in the water so much, you wouldn’t mind!"

"Well, it was worth it!" Chet said. Johnny was tempted to stick his tongue out at Chet.

Cap grabbed a piece of the morning paper as he headed into his office, his mood improving greatly as the morning progressed.

"Hey, Johnny! Let’s go check out the squad’s supplies. I heard C shift had a rough one! Besides, I need to talk to you." Roy walked out into the bay leaving a puzzled Gage behind. Gage was usually the one leaving Roy to wonder what was up, not the other way around. ‘This is fun,’ thought Roy.

"Roy, what’s wrong? Are the kids okay? Joanne?"

"Nothing is wrong and my family is fine! I just want to know if you want to go with me! Calm down!"

"Go with you? I don’t understand! Go where?"

"Johnny! Let me explain! Geez, man, take a breath! I have an offer to go see my cousin for a week and snowmobile and I wanted to know if you wanted to go"

"Roy, what about Joanne and the kids? Why don’t you take them?" Johnny was happy that Roy was asking him but still felt slightly guilty. Roy hadn’t had a chance to spend time with his family in the last couple weeks due to all the people out sick with the flu. Johnny felt that Roy should take them, not him.

"Jo is going to her mother’s house with the kids for a week in the first part of January. The kids are too young to snowmobile and Jo doesn’t like the cold very much. I figured that would be the perfect time to go. What do you think? Do you have any time coming up? How does Michigan sound?"

"Yeah, I’ve got plenty of time to take some off. It sounds like fun! Let’s do it!"

"Great! I’ll let Steve know! That’s my cousin, by the way!"

The klaxons sounded interrupting the conversation.

"Station 51, Engine 36, Truck 8...Structure fire, 226 Johnson road. Cross street of Myrtle. Time out 0845."

The paramedics grabbed the rest of their gear and put it in the squad. They jumped in and put their helmets on. The squad pulled out in front of the engine and led the way to the fire. As they neared the block the fire was on, a dark cloud of smoke could be seen. Pulling up in front of the
house, they could see someone lying on the ground near the tree in the front yard. They got out of the squad, put their turnouts on and grabbed their gear from the squad. The lady sat up as they came near.

"What is your name, ma’am?" Roy asked.

"Mrs. Evans. Man I feel terrible!" she shook her head as if to clear her head. "Wait a minute! Where is my daughter!" Mrs. Evans instantly became panicked. "Oh my God! Where is Jessie!"

"Ma’am, are you sure she’s not in school?" asked Johnny.

"It’s the day before New Year’s, Johnny. There is no school today. Where is her room, Mrs. Evans?" asked Roy.

"It’s on the second floor, to the right. It’s the only room down there."

Roy and Johnny were already on their way to the squad for their SCBAs.

"Hey, Cap!" yelled Roy. Cap came running over. "We have a child trapped on the second floor. That fire looks pretty bad up there. We need a line covering us."

"No problem, Roy! Make it quick, you two!"

Johnny and Roy bolted in the front door after checking it for heat. They did a quick sweep downstairs and then found the stairwell. They bounded to the top. Going to the right, they found Jessie’s room. The searched the room and found nothing. The smoke was getting very thick. They looked under the bed and in the closet, calling out for Jessie. They could not find the girl. They headed back out into the hallway. They went past the stairwell and found another room. The little girl was lying across what looked like her parents’ bed. Roy grabbed her in his arms. He took off his mask and put it over the little girl’s face. As he held the mask there, he checked for a pulse. He felt a beat against his fingers.

"She’s alive! Let’s go!" Roy started to stand. Johnny pointed to his mask and then to Roy’s face. Roy never saw him. He was standing and running before Johnny could put a restraining hand on his shoulder. Roy went toward the stairs but found them consumed in flames. He heard Johnny yelling behind him. Johnny had found a window. He busted the glass with his helmet and got Marco’s attention.

"Hey, we need a ladder up here! We found the little girl!" Johnny yelled.

Marco had already seen him and was running for a ladder. Johnny stepped out onto it after he saw Roy was behind him. Roy handed Johnny the little girl and stepped out onto the ladder himself. They were to the ground quickly and started treatment on Jessie.

"Roy, she’s not breathing!"

"Okay, here let me intubate! Get on the horn to Rampart!" Roy had the laryngoscope in one hand and the ET tube in the other. Mrs. Evans came running over to the paramedics.

"Oh, my poor baby! What happened to her!"

"She was in a different room, one to the left," Johnny stated. He looked at Roy as he coughed. "We are trying to do everything we can for her, ma’am," Roy coughed again.

"Johnny, she’s breathing on her own now! We aren‘t going to need to intubate," Roy stated. Mrs. Smith crouched down next to her Jessie.

Johnny was looking down at the little girl. She looked like Roy’s daughter. Her hair was shoulder length and blonde. Her eyes were a light, beautiful blue. She was roughly 8 years old. Johnny suddenly had a thought. ’If I notice these similarities, undoubtedly, Roy already had. I wonder if I can get him to let me ride in with her?’

The ambulance pulled up on scene and the attendants piled out and grabbed the stretcher. Roy started to pick up the equipment and was stalled by a hoarse cough.

"Hey, I’ll ride in with her," Johnny started to climb into the rig.

"Not on your life, Junior!" Roy stated as he climbed into the ambulance, not even giving Johnny the chance to reply. Roy shut the doors to the rig.

Johnny could hear him coughing even through the closed doors. ’Man, he sounds terrible! He should have put his mask back on! Probably breathed too much smoke. Of course, Jessie probably would have been dead had Roy not put his mask on her.’

Johnny climbed into the squad after the ambulance pulled away. Mrs. Smith was going to drive to the hospital after she picked up her husband at his workplace. Johnny was about 2 miles from the hospital when he saw the ambulance pulled over to the side of the road. Johnny jumped out and ran up to the rig. He opened the back door and saw Roy trying to intubate the little girl.

"Roy, what happened!"

"Full Arrest! Get in here! I am trying to intubate but her airway is swelling shut!"

"Rampart- we have an 8 year old female with smoke inhalation and 2nd degree burns to 20% of her body. She was not breathing prior to removal from a smoke filled room. Once she was outside she started to breathe on her own. We are about 4 minutes from your location and the patient just went into full arrest. We are attempting to intubate at this time," Roy threw the receiver down at his side and went about intubating. He placed the tube and checked her lung sounds. His placement was good. Johnny started chest compressions after he checked her pulse. IV access has already been obtained at the scene, so Johnny stopped compressions to administer Epinephrine. She was too small to defibrillate. They continued on to Rampart. As they were wheeling the gurney into the emergency department, Dixiewas telling them to go to treatment room 3. Dr. Kel Brackett met them in the room.

"Still no pulse. I’ve got 700cc of 0.9% Normal Saline in her already due to fluid loss from the burns. She has had one epi injection and it’s about time for Lidocane," Dixie was already there with a syringe and injected the medication into little Jessie.

Roy started to cough again. He was having a harder time catching his breath. More nurses and Dr. Joe Early came into the room. Johnny stepped out of the room to allow people that would be treating Jesse some space. He had been out in the hall way for a couple of minutes before he realized Roy was still in the room. He cracked the door open to see if his partner was coming. He was shocked to see a pale Roy standing in the corner watching the girl’s treatment. He looked almost in shock. He heard a discouraged voice in the background.

"Alright, let’s call it. Time of death: 0218. Come on everyone, there is nothing more we can do here." Dr. Brackett hung his head as he walked out of the room. He almost ran into Johnny as he and the rest of his staff walked out of the room.

"Hello, John. I’m sorry, there was nothing more we could do. Excuse me, I need to find her family."

"Okay, Doc. When you are done, can you check Roy out? I think he ate a little too much smoke out there."

"Yeah, speaking of Roy, where is he?"

Johnny pointed over to the corner where Roy was standing. Roy stood staring at the treatment table.

"I’ll take care of him for now, Doc, just get back here as soon as you can, please!"

Roy was beginning to collect himself mentally. He was starting to walk out of the room when he heard someone yelling in the waiting room.

"What do you mean? She was alive when I saw her last! She was alive!" Mrs. Evans’ crying could be heard throughout the emergency department. Roy walked out of the room and into the hall. "That’s him! He was the last one with her alive!!" She pointed at Roy. The husband came over to Roy.

"What did you do to my baby?" he whispered.

"I- I didn’t-" Roy didn’t have a chance to answer as the husband shoved Roy into the wall. It looked like Mr. Evans was bashing Roy’s head into the wall. The most disturbing thing was Roy not fighting back.

"You son-of-a-bitch! You killed my daughter! My Jessie is gone because of you! You deserve to die!!" Johnny and Kel were running up to the two. They could see Roy was unconscious. Mr. Evans was still throwing Roy against the wall.

"Dix, call security, now! Mr. Evans! Get away from him!" Kel grabbed Mr. Evans by the back of his shirt and his right arm. Johnny grabbed his left. The man continued to kick at Roy as he was pulled away, managing to connect a couple of solid blows to Roy’s midsection. Security arrived and took Mr. Evans into custody. Dr. Early and Dixie were assessing Roy.

"I want a full skull series and a chest and abdomen series. Johnny said he ate smoke. This is not going to help him." Dr. early was attempting to check Roy’s pupils when he started to come around.

"Uugghhh, what happened? Why am I down here?" Roy was trying to sit up. Johnny Pushed him back down. "Let us do the work, Pally! Some guy tried to make a dent in the wall with your head," Johnny stated. A puzzled look came over Roy’s face, then a disgusted one.

"I don’t blame him! I let Jessie die!" Roy turned away from Johnny. He was deathly quiet.

"Roy, there was nothing you could do to keep that from happening. It was not your fault! Please listen to me!" Johnny cried. Roy continued to stare at the door of the treatment room. Johnny doubted Roy even heard him.

Roy was lifted onto a gurney and wheeled into treatment room 1.

About an hour later, Roy was sitting in the treatment room still, oxygen flowing from a port on the wall to his nose. Dr. Brackett had been in and said the skull series was clear but he had a couple bruised ribs on his right side. Johnny breathed a sigh of relief at the news but Roy seemed uninterested. He wanted to go home and see his Jenny. The little girl they had tried to rescue today looked so much like her. ‘No, that’s not right,’ Roy thought. The little girl I let die today looks a lot like Jenny.’

Johnny had tried to talk him out of his funk. There was nothing more he could have done.

The door opened to admit Dr. Early. "Well, how do you feel, Roy?"

"I’m fine! I just want to get back to work!" Roy was taking the oxygen off as if to prove his point.

"This is against my better judgment, Roy, but I’m not going to keep you. Under one condition! You are off the rest of the shift. No arguments! I mean it! I want you where you will relax and take it easy."

Roy was getting up off the bed. "No problem, doc! I’ll keep out of everyone’s hair!" He finished dressing as Dr. Early went out to sign discharge papers. Johnny followed him to get a wheel chair.

"Doc, are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean that guy was trying to kill Roy!"

"Normally, John, I would agree, but I called Captain Stanley and talked to him about this. He granted Roy and you an immediate extension on your leave. You head out day after tomorrow. That will give him a chance to rest up and you can get him to talk about what happened. His only injury was the bruised ribs. He has a bump on his head but his loss of consciousness was not due to his injury. That guy was too distraught to even cause a concussion. Roy’s blackout was psychological."

"Are you sure, Doc? It looked like that guy was really pounding Roy."

"I know Johnny, but I think it looks worse than it is. Roy won’t admit to anything more than that, his neuros are great and there is no evidence of injury aside from a small bump on the back of his head. Physically he is fine. I recommend a psych consult for his real problem. I mentioned that to Captain Stanley and he said to let you two go on your trip, and if you come back and he hasn’t talked about it, then a consult he will get!"

"I won’t let you down, Doc. I won’t let Roy down," Johnny had a look of pure determination on his face with this statement.

Johnny went back into the treatment room. He looked up at Roy as he walked in. "Are you ready yet?" Before Johnny could finish the sentence, Roy was sitting in the chair.

"I tried to call Joanne but there was no answer at your house."

"She already left for her mom’s house. She figured that she would get an early start since we are leaving in a couple days."

"Well, we could always leave early, now. Brackett has you off for the next couple shifts to let your ribs mend." Johnny walked over to push the elevator button.

"What? Who is going to cover our shifts for that long? How did he manage to put this through so fast? I figured we would be switching around for a while yet."

"Well, Cap did for both of us. Doesn’t matter how. Let me just swing by the station and pick up our clothes." Johnny thought Roy was unusually quiet. Not that Roy was extremely talkative, but with an upcoming vacation, he was usually a little excited about it! ‘Well, with everything that has
happened today, it’s a wonder he even gets to go home today, let alone feels like talking at all.’

The duo headed into the station. They were greeted by the rest of A shift.

"Ya know, Roy, if you wanted the day off, all you had to do was ask! You didn’t need to go to such extremes!" Chet was smiling at his comrade. Chet assumed that Roy was hurt in the fire.

"Shut up, Chet!" Johnny yelled. Chet looked back at Johnny with a shocked expression on his face. "What!?! What did I say?"

Cap pulled Chet aside as Roy and John went into the locker room to get their clothes.

"Chet, you twit! Roy wasn’t hurt at that fire! The little girl that was in there died and the parents are blaming Roy! The dad tried to knock his head into a brick wall."

"Oh, my God. I didn’t know! I’m sorry," Chet felt horrible. He knew how much children affected Roy and then to have something like this happen, it must be tearing him up!

Chet walked into the locker room to find Roy. Johnny immediately stood up from his crouched position in case he needed to step in between the two men.

"Listen, Roy," Chet said quietly. "Cap just told me what happened. Man, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it."

"It’s alright, Chet. You had no idea what was going on. It’s not your fault."

"Remember, Roy, that it isn’t yours either. You are not God and can’t decide who lives and who dies. You can only do so much."

Roy thought about what Chet was saying. "Yeah, I know we can only do so much," Roy said. He looked down at the floor for a moment. As he answered, he looked up at Chet. "Did I do enough?"

Johnny stepped forward and grabbed Roy’s arm. "Don’t even ask that, Roy! You know better than that. You did everything that you possibly could for Jessie. There was nothing either of us could have done differently!"

"How do you know that, Johnny?" Roy said angrily. " How the hell do you know that?!? You weren’t in the back of that rig as she died. You weren’t looking into her blue eyes as she begged me not to let her die while she squeezed my hand! You weren’t the one who had to face the father that just lost his little girl!"

"No, I wasn’t, Roy, but I could have been. If I had went in the ambulance with her instead of you, I would be the one asking myself these questions, not you! There was nothing you could do differently." Johnny shook the arm he still held to make an emphasis. Roy shrugged Johnny off his arm and headed to his car. He threw his bag into his porche and opened the door. He got in and squawked his tires as he drove away.

Chet and Johnny tried to catch him as he stormed out. They could only watch as Roy sped away.

"Damn, what is it with you two. I thought rule number one was not to get emotionally involved with the patient!" Chet was shaking his head. "This is why I don’t want to be a paramedic! I don’t know how you do this!" Chet walked into Station 51.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it’s worth it. Sometimes it’s worth it."

Later that evening, Johnny tried to call Roy. There was no answer. He finally was tired of being ignored and went to Roy’s house. The car was in the garage, so unless Roy went for a walk, he was home.

Johnny knocked on the door. He could hear music in the background. He had heard that song before and remembered Roy and Joanne dancing to it at the fire department picnic. Johnny pounded on the door again. He finally pulled out the spare key DeSoto had given him and unlocked the door. As he walked in the living room, he was startled by a voice.

"What are you doing here, Johnny?" asked Roy.

John whirled around to find an intoxicated Roy sitting in the corner of the living room.

"Roy, what are you doing?" Johnny asked quietly. "You look horrible!" Johnny walked over to where Roy was sitting. He sat down next to the sandy haired man.

"I was packing for our trip." Roy paused for a moment. "Did you see how much Jessie looked like Jen? I thought it was her for a moment. I was so afraid to tell Joanne that I had lost Jennifer. I didn’t know how I would face her. When that father came up to me, I thought I deserved everything I got. If I had been a little more aggressive, If I had intubated her faster, so many ifs." Roy sighed. He closed his eyes. "Thank you for coming over here John. I wanted to apologize to you and Chet. I came home and I was so angry at myself. I started to drink. I made myself sick and then drank some more. I started to think about what Joanne would say. What the kids would say. It dawned on me they would probably say the same thing you and Chet did earlier. Then I thought about what they would say if they were here right now."

"Joanne would probably kill you right now."

"Yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought." Roy was trying to collect his emotions. Tears were threatening to spill.

"Hey, Roy, it’s okay. Let it out! Nobody but me will know. This was a hard call for both of us!" Johnny put his arm around Roy’s shoulders. "When I saw that guy going after you, I thought he was going to kill you. I wanted to go after him so bad. Security came and took him away. I was so afraid that they wouldn’t get here to take him, afraid of what I would do to him."

"Why, Johnny? Why did he blame me? I tried to do all I could for her. I tried so hard!" Roy sobbed. His shoulders shook uncontrollably as he wept. After a few minutes, either the alcohol or the emotional toll of the day took affect and Roy fell asleep leaning against Johnny. John kept his arm wrapped around Roy’s shoulder as he slept. Soon, John too was asleep.

About 4 in the morning, Johnny woke and was surprised to find himself on Roy DeSoto’s floor. He started to get up when he felt the weight next to him shift. He slid his arm from behind Roy and slowly stood up. He remembered the events of yesterday and a surge of sorrow went out to his sleeping friend. Every firefighter or EMS worker knew how it felt to loose a patient, even loose one you were close to. It never became easy. He had been there a few times himself. The man lying on the floor had been there for him many times. He knew how Roy felt.

He decided that there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. They were used to getting up at about 6 am, so Johnny figured he would see if there was anything in the fridge to eat, since he had missed dinner the night before. He found some cold cuts, mayonnaise, and cheese. He was making a sandwich when he felt a presence in the room with him.

"How long have you been standing there?" Johnny asked Roy.

"Long enough to figure out that looks pretty good, Junior."

"Well, here. You eat this one and I’ll make another." Roy gratefully took the offered sandwich and took some chips out of the cupboard.

"Want some? How about a glass of milk?" asked Roy.

"Yeah, that sounds real good. I’m glad to see you eating. That alcohol you had last night might make a guest appearance if you don’t eat something."

"Yeah, don’t remind me. I would rather forget about yesterday all together. I did some things yesterday that I am not proud of. I just want you to know that I do not handle things like this, usually."

"I know, Pally. Most of us have been through it, hell, you’ve been there for me when I’ve been there. I’m just glad the kids or Joanne weren’t home."

"You aren’t going to say anything are you?"

"Roy, I’m insulted!" Johnny said around a mouthful of sandwich. "How can you think I would do something like that? I told you last night that what happened here was between you and me."

"Thanks, Junior. I really don’t remember much about last night except drinking a lot and then you came in. That’s probably a good thing." Roy paused. "Man, am I sore today. Maybe I should have stayed at Rampart yesterday."

"You must have hit your head harder than we thought. You don’t really mean that do you?"

"Sure I do, Johnny! I feel horrible this morning. I bet that nice little nurse, Diane I think, would have been working. She’s cute!" Roy smiled.

"Roy, you’re married! You can’t be serious!"

"I’m married, not dead! Besides, Johnny, I was joking. But Diane is pretty cute. You should ask her out!"

"Thanks, Roy. I already did. You just ruined it. I mean, she can’t be that cute. Maybe I didn’t look that close."

"What do you mea- Oh, I get it. I’m an old married guy, and if I think she is cute, there must be something wrong with her right?" Roy said smirking.

"Well, not exact- well, yeah! I mean it just wouldn’t be right."

"Oh, come on, Johnny! Give it up! I already knew you were asking her out so I was picking on you. Don’t let it ruin your date. Hey. I have to go and pack for the trip. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, but we don’t leave until the day after tomorrow! I still have one more day."

"Better look again, Junior. We leave tomorrow. This is New Year’s day."

"Oh, crap. I’m not ready! I gotta go!" Johnny found his jacket and keys. "Are you going to be okay, Roy?"

"Yes, Johnny. I’ll be fine. Listen, if you want to catch dinner tonight, I’m buying. You can stay here tonight or I can pick you up in the morning. Our flight leaves at 7am."

"Yeah, we’ll catch dinner tonight. I’ll probably stay here so we can both be ready at the same time. One condition, though. I get the couch or a bed. The floor is worse than that chair in my apartment."

"Yeah, whatever, Johnny. I disagree there but whatever you say."

"See you later!" Johnny said as he left the house.

The day progressed as the boys readied for their trip. Roy called his cousin Steve to double check last minute equipment. They were all ready. They ordered pizza and watched the Detroit Red Wings win their latest game of hockey. ‘Ironic since we are headed to Michigan! HA!’ They hit the hay early, Johnny taking Chris’ room. In the morning, they threw their gear into Johnny’s Rover and headed for LAX. They checked their bags and boarded their flight. They would land at Detroit Metro and after a short layover, they hopped a small plane to Cherry Capitol in Traverse City. Steve would meet them there and drive them the 45 minutes to the cabins.

The flight was uneventful. They had landed in Traverse City and found Steve easily. ‘He looks like he could be Roy’s older brother. Same sandy blonde hair, only Steve had a touch of gray. Their eyes are the same color blue.’ John knew very little about Roy’s family, except he was married with 2 beautiful children. John didn’t have much room to talk however, it’s not like he ever talked about his family. The topic just never really came up. Johnny would have to make a point to steer the conversation that way.

After a quick tour of Traverse City, they headed to the Blue Lake resort. It sounded fancy but in reality, there were 7 cabins next to a lake in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. The cabins were nice, with a fireplace, running water and a nice shower. There were 2 bedrooms in the cabin John
and Roy occupied. All of the cabins were full for the weekend. Steve said there were 3 of the 7 rented out for the whole week, including theirs. The snowmobile trails ran about ½ mile from the cabins. There was a small restaurant about 5 miles away. They were definitely in God’s country!

As Roy and John unpacked, Steve proceeded to pull out the sleds. Since John and Roy were unfamiliar with the machines, he gave them a quick course on basic operation. He showed them how to lean on corners and how to use some basic traffic signals to turn or stop when riding in a group.

"We’ll wait until morning to go for a ride. It’s getting late and it will be getting dark soon. We are supposed to get 8 inches of Lake Effect snow tonight so there should be fresh powder to ride in in the morning. You will love it, I promise!" Steve had invited them up to his house for dinner. His wife had made a dinner of fresh batter dipped perch that Steve and a friend had caught earlier that day, some venison tenderloins, corn and potatoes. John and Roy had never tried venison. They fell in love immediately and vowed to come back for hunting season.

After dinner, the four retired to the living room. They enjoyed beer and each other’s company. They watched the evening news which talked about a snowmobile accident east of Kalkaska and the theft of a car in Petoskey. The Weather Man confirmed the inches of Lake Effect that had been called for earlier in the day. The radar showed where the snow bands moved from and where they were heading. Steve pointed on a map where they were. The storm was heading right for them.

As Roy and John stepped out of the house to walk to the cabin, they had found it had already started to snow. Johnny had grown up in Montana and was used to the snow. Roy, on the other hand, had lived in California all his life. He saw snow when he went high into the mountains but those trips were usually by air or just passing through. He marveled at how fast the snow could pile up and how cold it was. They stood outside watching the snow come down.

"I have to bring Joanne and the kids here. I’ve never really seen snow before and I feel like a little kid! I bet they would enjoy this!" Roy was looking at the sky watching the snow come down. Everything was so quiet.

Thwack!!!!

"What the hell was that!?! Johnny, what did you do to me?" Thwack again. This time Roy was watching Johnny and tried to move out of the way as Johnny lobbed a snowball at Roy.

"That’s it, Junior! I am gonna make you pay for that one!" Roy copied Johnny’s technique at making a snowball. Johnny, however was so busy laughing that he never saw what hit him until he was covered in snow. They threw snowballs at each other until their fingers were numb. Johnny came up behind Roy and pushed him face first into the snow bank, giving him a whitewash. Roy remained face down unmoving.

"Roy? Roy! Answer me!" Johnny went up to his friend. Roy had a handful of snow waiting and shoved the cold mass down Johnny’s shirt. John stood gasping as he tried to work the snow out of his clothes.

"I thought you were hurt! That’s not fair!!!" Johnny gasped. Roy was laughing uncontrollably from his position on the ground. They were behaving like children but he didn’t care!

Steve and his wife were watching from the house. They laughed at how the two adult paramedics were acting.

"They must be really close, Steve."

"Yeah, no kidding. After the life Roy has had, knowing he has such a good friend by his side makes me feel better." Steve put an arm around his wife and lead her to the bedroom.

John and Roy had finally made it inside. After changing, they discovered some hot cocoa in the kitchen. Johnny made some up and they sipped the warming liquid. Roy started to feel sleepy. He wasn’t sure if it was the fresh air or the snowball fight. He looked at the clock and was shocked to find it was 1 am.

"I’m going to bed, Junior. Us old folks aren’t used to these kind of hours."

"I never thought you would admit to being old, Pally!"

"You are only a year behind me, Junior!"

"Yeah, but what a difference a year makes!" John had a lopsided grin on his face as Roy found a pillow on the couch and made good use of it. It hit John in the belly.

"Watch it, Junior. You are here with my family and they know their way around. You don’t!" Roy headed into the other room.

"Goodnight, Roy!" Johnny said as he closed the door.

Roy headed for his room. He was glad to see Steve again. It had been almost 5 years since Steve came out to California. He missed having contact with his family. He vowed to stay in contact with him more often.

Roy stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed. It was a queen sized bed with too many pillows. He was somehow reminded of Joanne. Other than work, they never really spent much time apart. This was the first trip to her mother’s house that he hadn’t gone along since they were married.
Joanne’s mother was always degrading him, thought Jo cold have done better tan a firefighter. ’She is right, but I’m glad you don’t think so, Joanne.’ That was Roy’s last thought as he drifted to sleep.

Roy woke up just before dawn. He was cold!!! He got up and looked toward Johnny’s room. The door was closed. He flicked on the light in the living room. He found some wood, fire starter and matches. He lit the fire and stood in front of it, warming himself. He looked outside and was amazed by the sight he saw. The branches of the pine trees hung low to the ground, covered in fresh snow. There was such a stillness and peacefulness that he just wanted to be a part of it. He threw his clothes on, grabbed his coat and scrawled out a note to Johnny.

Junior,
I went for a walk. It’s 6am now. I’ll try to be back in an hour.
Pally

Roy stuck to the road, not knowing the area, and walked in this Winter Wonderland. He had made that comment earlier in the night and Steve had laughed. He said the locals have a saying around here. ‘When it’s Winter, you Wonder why you stay.’ Roy asked if it was really that bad here. Steve shrugged and stated it wasn’t bad once you got used to the -20 degree nights and shoveling mountains of snow.

‘I don’t think I could live in the cold, but what a nice place to visit.’ Roy watched the sky as the sun rose. He marveled at the beauty surrounding him. ‘Man, I should have woke Johnny up. He would have loved this! Maybe tomorrow!’ Roy looked at his watch. It was 7am now. He hadn’t meant to be gone this long. He only hoped Johnny was still sleeping and not looking for him.

His fears were realized as he saw his cousin’s truck heading toward him with Johnny in the passenger seat. They slowed and John rolled his window down. Steve, however was the first to speak.

"I went to see if you guys wanted to go to breakfast. You know, cuz, you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. If you get lost, nobody knows where to find you."

"I stuck close to the road, and besides, I can always follow my tracks back to the cabin." Roy climbed into the truck.

"Yeah until a lake effect band comes through dropping 4 inches and buries your tracks. Just don’t take off unless you let one of us know where you are going. Same goes for you, Johnny. Please!"

"Okay, okay. Sorry!" Roy ducked his head in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Man, was sunrise gorgeous!"

"Yeah, they are great, aren’t they!" Steve pulled into the small restaurant. They discussed plans for their ride. They would take a 30 minute ride to the public access site and then go ice fishing. They would ride home and then have another of those great Northern dinners.

After a quick stop to get daily fishing licenses, the trio headed back to the cabin. Steve already had everything ready to go by the time Johnny and Roy were finished putting their winter gear on. They went over machine operations once again and headed for the lake with Steve in the lead. Roy had never been on a frozen lake before, so when they arrived at the fishing spot and drilled the holes in the 10 inch thick ice, all he did for the first 20 minutes was look down the hole into the water. He could see the fish swimming below him. He finally pulled a pole from the bucket and put sinkers and a hook on it. Steve checked the depth for him and set the line about the level where the fish ‘hung out.’ He pulled his line up, baited the hook and dropped the line back into the water until he saw Steve’s mark on the line.

Johnny had already had experience ice fishing so was already checking the depth when Steve came to help him. They both watched Roy as he would sit for a few minutes and then look down the hole again.

"He looks like a little kid!" Johnny laughed.

"You both did last night. I imagine you don’t see much snow in L.A."

"No, you’re right there. I’m originally from Montana, so I’ve seen the snow, even if it has been a while. My dad and I used to ice fish quite a bit."

They watched Roy as he got a bite and expertly brought the fish up on the ice.

"Man, the way that thing fought, I thought I was bringing in a whopper! Look at how little this is!" He held up the fish to Steve who laughed.

"That, dear cousin, is a Northern Delicacy! You sure enjoyed them last night! They are perch. They are supposed to be small!"

Roy took the fish off the hook and tossed it onto the ice. He lowered his line and before he could sit down, he had another on his line. He pulled it up and found another perch.

"Hey, this is fun!" Roy lowered his line only to have another fish take the bait. Johnny was now joining in on the perch frenzy, as he brought up his first. Steve was already on number five.

The run lasted about an hour. Between the three of them, there were probably fifty or so fish. They loaded the sleds back up and placed the fish in the buckets. They headed back to the cabin to clean the fish for dinner.

They sat around telling stories of fishing trips in the past. They laughed, drank beer and laughed some more. The fish were easy to clean and took no more than an hour to clean them all. Steve’s wife chased them out of the kitchen so she could cook.

"Tomorrow, I will take you to one of my favorite places. It’s about a four hour round trip by trail. We’ll have lunch over there and maybe meet some of the locals. You two will love it!"

They ate and chatted until around 10pm. Roy was getting really tired. He had a short night yesterday and was now feeling the effects. He yawned tiredly.

"I think I’m gonna go to bed early tonight. I think it’s all this fresh air." The three bid Roy a good night. Steve motioned for Johnny to stay for a while.

" I get the impression from your stories that you two are pretty unlucky."

"Actually, with all the two of us have been through, I would say we are very lucky! We both should have bit the bullet long ago. It’s by sheer determination that either of us are here today. As a matter of fact, Roy came pretty close earlier this week to canceling his vacation, permanently." John went on to tell Steve and his wife about the run earlier in the week. He left out the part about the distraught parents and the attack on Roy.

"Man, his parents would have kittens if they found out he was a firefighter. His mother about had a stroke when he went into the military. I think that when he was sent to Nam, that was all she wrote and his mom died from a broken heart. She couldn’t stand the worrying. Wondering if he would make it home or not."

John looked at Steve with wide eyes.

"I didn’t know he went to Nam! I knew he was in the military but I thought he stayed stateside!" Johnny was shocked.

"No kidding? I thought he would have had to tell someone at the department about it. Where do you think he got most of his medical skills? He was a medic. Spent a lot of time at the front lines picking up pieces of people and trying to put them back together again.

"You wouldn’t have recognized him when he came back. He was so-different. Distant, I guess. He was in a really bad place for a while.

"That wife of his, he had known her for so long. I used to live next door to Roy as a kid. I always knew they would get married. Roy’s draft number was coming up so he thought he could get farther if he joined willingly. I thought it was going to kill Joanne. Especially after Roy’s battalion came under attack. The whole unit was killed, except Roy. He was severely wounded.

"They shipped him back home after he was stable. His mom was gone. We had tried to find him, to tell him, but they told us Roy was dead. He found out when he got home. That was all it took. He went crazy. He started to drink. Joanne called me to try to talk to him. She was afraid he would try to hurt himself. In the end, she stuck by him though all of that and brought him around.

"They got married shortly after his twentieth birthday. His dad died at 14 from cancer, then his mom was gone, I don’t think he would have lived if it wasn’t for Joanne." Steve sighed and took his wife’s hand.

"Roy has had a trying life. He grew up too fast when his dad died, faced war, then lost his mother. I’m glad he has you and Joanne. He is a very special person." Steve got up and walked over to the window facing the cabin that Roy was in.

" I never knew about his family or being in a war. Was he an only child?" Johnny was fidgeting with the glass in his hand.

"Yeah, his mom could only have one child. Something happened shortly after Roy was born, but I’m not sure what. Listen, I’m not so sure I was supposed to say anything. I get a little too talkative when I drink. Please don’t say anything to him about our conversation. I don’t want him angry with me. I’m all the family he has left, aside from you and Joanne."

"That’s alright, Steve. I don’t think I would know how to talk about this to him yet anyhow. I won’t say anything." John looked at his watch.

"I am going to get going, though. I have a lot to think about now and I want to get some sleep. Thank you for your hospitality. I have had a great time here."

Johnny headed back to the cabin. There was a light still on, maybe Roy was still up.

As he suspected, Roy was awake. He was sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of milk.

"I thought you were going to bed, Roy? You look tired."

"Thanks, Junior. Good to see you, too. I was, but I had a stomach ache. I thought if I had a glass of milk, it may settle down." Roy took a drink of the milk and sighed.

"So tell me, how much did he tell you about my family?"

Johnny feigned a shocked look. Roy sighed.

"It’s okay, Johnny. You can tell me. I came back to the house to get some alka-seltzer and I overheard the conversation. Part of it anyway. I know he means well, he just never did know when to shut up!" Roy had a slight smile on his face.

"Well, I don’t know where to start, Roy. He told me about your dad dying when you were 14." Johnny paused. "He also told me your mom died shortly after you were sent to Nam."

"So you know, now."

"Yup." Johnny sighed. "Why didn’t you tell me?"

Roy was silent for so long, Johnny thought he had fallen asleep. He was almost startled when Roy spoke.

" I was afraid. I was the only one left. I thought that if you knew, you wouldn’t trust me. I tried to save them, John, I really did. Charlie just kept coming. There was nothing I could do. I was taken prisoner. I was glad I didn’t have to watch them do to my friends what they did to me." Roy paused to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t sure just how much he should say.

"Tell me, Roy."

"They did things that I will never be able to talk about to anyone. My friends died quickly, shot in combat, with the exception of my CO. He died later that night. Oh, how I prayed for that to happen to me. I would sit, day after day, night after night, trying to get loose. Anything to not
think about what was going to happen the next day. I was finally able to get out. Somehow I made it to an area that had been taken over by American troops. I didn’t know they were American though, and I was sneaking around them. Someone saw me and shot me in the leg. I woke up in a hospital, I still don’t know where, and then I was shipped stateside. Joanne and Steve were all I had left and they thought I was dead. Boy, were they shocked to see me! They were the only ones though. Our reception home was no less than horrible. We were called baby-killers and other atrocities. We were treated like scum. The neighborhood where Joanne and I lived in San Francisco was good before I left, when I came back, it was all I could do to go from my house to hers without getting a brick thrown at me. I was so angry when I came back that I just wanted to die so nobody would have to be seen with me. I can’t believe Joanne stuck it out with me. I thught er mother was going to die when she found out we were getting married. We moved to LA to start over. Here we are now."

Roy finished what was left of his milk. He absently rubbed at the scars on his wrists. Handcuffs. The skin was healed but the memories were fresh again. How many months of counseling did he go through when he came back, only to still be awakened by the nightmares? And now, what would Johnny think?

"I am disgusted at you, Roy. For not telling me sooner!"

Roy sighed. Hewould try to book a flight tomorrow. He would also call Cap and put in for a transfer.

"I am so mad that you didn’t tell me this sooner! All this time we have been friends and I never knew this! I could have been there for you when you needed to talk! I could have helped you bear the weight of what you are carrying. There is no need to go through this alone! Promise me that no matter what, we will be completely honest and open with each other from now on. I want to know everything about you and I want you to know everything about me. No more secrets!"

"You mean you still want to work with me? After everything I have told you?" Roy was shocked. He thought Johnny would turn his back on him as the others he had tried to befriend had when they found out. They were afraid he would flip out on them. "You would still trust me?"

"Roy, I will always trust you. You are my best friend. I want to help you through this. Do me a favor, though. When we get back, talk to Chet. He was in Nam as well and is carrying around some serious baggage as well. Maybe the two of you have more in common than you know."

"Chet was in Nam?!?"

"Yeah, Roy, he was. He talks about it every now and then. He knows you were in the military, he’s the one who told me. We both thought you stayed stateside so he was always reluctant to talk to you about it."

"Where did you get the impression I was Stateside? I haven’t told anyone in LA I was even in the military."

"Chet remembered your name from a hospital he was in. He was shot and sent back home. He thought you worked at the hospital that he was in. We assumed that was where you got your training. Guess we were wrong, huh?"

"Chet doesn’t talk about it much. When he does, it’s usually after more than a couple beers and then it was only in reference." Johnny looked at the clock on the wall.

"Let’s go to bed, Roy. It has been another long day for you and I want to get up for sunrise this morning." Johnny stood up and stretched. He held out a hand for Roy. Roy took it and Johnny helped him to stand. He pulled Johnny into an embrace.

"Thanks, partner. You don’t know how much it has meant to finally tell you about this. I have wanted to, but I was afraid that you would be like the others and turn against me. I don’t know if I could have handled that."

"Roy, I wouldn’t turn on you. You are too much of a friend to me. Now, go to bed!"

"Good night, Junior."

"Good night."

Johnny woke early enough to see the sun rise. He decided to let Roy sleep. He figured this past few days were very trying to the senior paramedic. Roy did not like to talk about himself. ‘I guess I know why. I wonder what Chet will say about this one! He will flip!"

Sunrise was beautiful. As he turned to go back to the cabin, he found Roy standing outside.

"I thought you were going to wake me up, Junior? I am glad you were able to see this. Isn’t it great?" Roy was in a pair of sweat pants, winter boots, and his coat.

Johnny laughed as he looked at Roy.

"What? What is so funny?" Roy looked down at himself.

"Nothing, nothing. You always look so neat and clean. You look like you haven’t seen a shower or razor in a week!" Johnny caught his breath and looked at his friend with a smile.

"Well, I haven’t seen a razor in a few days anyway. I thought I would let it grow while we are out here. My face gets cold."

Roy opened the door to the cabin. It was Sunday and most of the cabin renters were headed home. John was glad they were going to stay for a while. He wanted to talk to Roy and Steve more. He was really starting to miss his family in Montana. He felt like he was part of this family, more now than ever.

John fixed breakfast while Roy was in the shower. They dressed in their cold weather gear and went to find Steve. Steve was ready after a couple minutes and they pulled the sleds out of the pole barn. It was now 10 am and they would get to their destination around noon. They bugged Steve to tell them where they were going but all he said was it was a surprise.

Steve lead the way as they rode the trails. They saw other people as they rode and were surprised at how friendly everyone was. In LA, they would as soon flip you the bird as they would wave at you.

Roy recognized the outskirts of a town as they slowed their speed. They crossed a river and rode to a gas station.

"Welcome to Frederic! We need to fuel up, and then we park over there. You two are about to have the best food around." Steve twisted the cap off the fuel tank and filled his tank. Roy and Johnny followed suit. They went in to pay for their gas. While they were in the store, they could hear the sirens of an emergency vehicle.

As the trio stepped outside, they saw a pickup truck with a red light and siren pull into the fire station parking lot. They watched as another vehicle pulled in. The garage door to the station opened and an ambulance pulled out. The sirens blaring, the ambulance whirred by them, heading
toward the expressway.

"That fire department is the best in this county. The volunteers respond from their homes and they still manage a two to five minute en route time. They do an amazing snowmobile rescue, too. I have stopped at a couple of accidents where they have been called. Great group of people."

They walked into the Frederic Inn. Steve had told them about a wet burrito that they had to try. Steve ordered only two of them. Roy and Johnny glanced at each other.

"Hey, Steve, um, Johnny here can pack away the food. Do you think two will be enough?"

"Roy, I’m sure it will be plenty. Wait until you see these things. I’m taking half of mine home for Marie."

The waitress brought them a couple of colas and the group talked for a while. Roy told Steve that he and Johnny had talked last night and that Roy had heard the conversation. Steve tried to apologize but Roy wouldn’t let him. He was glad it was out in the open now.

The waitress brought the food over to the table along with a couple plates and silverware. John and Roy were amazed at how big the burritos were, but even more so at how good they tasted. John wanted the recipe, convinced Marco could copy them and Roy wanted to take some back for later. They all ate and had a good time.

As they were getting ready to leave, the ambulance pulled back into the station. John and Roy thought it would be cool to see their equipment and meet these volunteers so they went to the fire house. A few more people had come down to the station while the ambulance was gone. John and Roy met the chief and were given the grand tour. A man was filing out the report from the previous call as a woman was restocking the ambulance. They talked about small town EMS and Fire service and then switched gears to LA. The volunteers were entertained by the two visiting paramedics. The Frederic volunteers exchanged addresses with the LA visitors. They vowed to keep in touch and send department patches to each other.

The three men went back out on the trail. They were only about two miles from Frederic when they saw something strange up ahead on the trail.

Steve held up his arm to signal the others to stop. It looked like a person was lying on the trail. They pulled their sleds off to the side of the trail and ran up to where the man was lying. Roy had grabbed the first aid kit he had stowed under his seat when they had first gone out riding.

The man was unconscious and was bleeding from his face and left arm. His sled was a few feet away. He had hit a tree. It looked like he had crawled from the accident to the trail, and passed out.

Roy was taking a pulse and Johnny was checking for respirations.

"Guys, I’ve got to go back to the fire station to get help. I’ll be back in a little bit!" Steve turned his sled around and headed back for Frederic.

John and Roy assessed the patient. He was breathing and had a rapid heart rate. ‘At least he was wearing a helmet,’ Roy thought. This could have been much worse. They continued treatment until EMS got on scene.

"Hey, guys! Long time, no see! What have we got?" said the lady that was stocking the ambulance earlier. John thought her name was Nancy.

"Well, it looks like this guy took on a tree, head first. His respirations are 28 and his pulse is 110. We tried to control the bleeding as best we could, but it’s not like we have a whole lot of equipment with us." John moved his hand off a pressure dressing to apply another 4x4. The patient was starting to bleed through the first couple he had on the arm.

Nancy and her partner, Jack, removed the man’s helmet to obtain airway access and better control his c-spine. Steve was helping them with their equipment and brought over a c-collar, backboard and straps. Nancy placed the c-collar on the patient as Jack held c-spine. John, Roy and Nancy helped logroll the patient onto the backboard. They strapped the man to the board and secured his head with towel rolls and tape.

A stokes basket on a toboggan sled was hitched to Steve’s sled and the patient was placed inside of it. After he was secured, Nancy hopped on the stokes with the patient and Jack rode out off the trail on the sled with Steve. Steve had told John and Roy to grab whatever equipment was left at the scene and bring it out to the edge of the road. They caught up to the rescue team before too long and after they reached the waiting ambulance, the gear was handed off and the ambulance sped off. One of the other fire department members was wasting with his truck at the road to collect the stokes sled and whatever else needed to be picked up.

"Thanks a lot for your help. We don’t always have a way back into a trail other than walking or waiting for the sheriff department to get here with their sled. That can take forever. Looks like they may have to med-evac him to a neuro trauma unit. He didn’t look like he was doing to well.
Nancy said it smelled like he had been drinking. That happens so much! I wish the laws were tighter about drinking and driving a snowmobile. I bet our rescue calls would be cut drastically!" John helped the man load the stokes into his truck as Roy was putting a bag with different sized
c-collars in the cab.

They bade farewell and the trio was free to ride again. They all decided that they had enough action for the day and headed home.

After an uneventful trip back to the cabin, they settled into a game of euchre. John and Roy were unfamiliar with the game, so Steve and Marie showed them how to play. It was almost 2 am before they were done playing and John and Roy were headed back to their cabin.

The next morning, everyone slept in. They took a trail ride into Kalkaska and had lunch in town. They rode around for quite a while before finding themselves back at the cabins. Roy called his wife in San Francisco before heading back to the cabin.

"Now, tomorrow, you guys can go riding if you want to, but I have to go to Traverse City in the morning. You can come along if you like, but here is a map in case you want to ride." Steve handed John a trail map.

"I want to ride tomorrow, Steve. I want to go back to Frederic and see if they know how that accident victim is doing." Roy took the map from Johnny and started to unfold it.

"Yeah, and I want to get another burrito. Man, were those good!" John was always thinking about food.

"Yeah, I enjoyed my half yesterday. They sure are delicious!!" Marie patted her stomach. Unfortunately, they also gave her heartburn. She had taken something before she went to bed but she had ended up having a nightmare about being chased by an onion. ’How embarrassing! I wouldn’t tell a sole about that if my life depended upon it!’ Marie thought with a chuckle.

Steve had shown Roy and John the trail to take tomorrow. They should have a great time!

When Steve left in the morning, he could see John and Roy dressed in their riding gear, heading for the pole barn the sleds were stored in. Steve had made sure they were fueled up and everything was okay for them before he left. He hoped they had a good time. He put his thoughts toward his business in Traverse City.

John and Roy rode into Frederic and stopped at the gas station. They bought a couple of sodas for later, along with a bag of potato chips. They paid for their stuff and stowed it under the seat on the sleds. They parked in the snowmobile area across from the Frederic Inn. The same waitress that was working the day before was there today. They ordered a burrito and two cokes. They had a great meal. John had once again tried for the recipe with no luck but did manage to get the waitress’s phone number.

"Johnny, we are leaving in a couple days!"

"Yeah, so! Why can’t a guy just be friendly? Besides, maybe I might let you and your cousin have a day together and take in some of the local sights!" John had a lopsided grin on his face and he waggled his eyebrows as he finished his statement.

"I don’t know about you, Junior. I just don’t know." They left the restaurant and were going to stop at the fire department. Seeing no vehicles around, they headed back out on the trail with Johnny leading the way.

It was quite a while before John noticed that Roy was not behind him. He pulled off to the side of the trail and waited for a little while. He kept a close eye on his watch. It would be dark in about an hour. They had stayed at the restaurant longer than they had anticipated.

After waiting about ten minutes, John decided that he needed to go look for Roy. ‘He should have caught up by now if I was going to fast! Where is he?’ John was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was starting to snow.

John was about a mile from the previous day’s accident scene when he saw something that didn’t belong. A piece of a snowmobile track was on the trail, hung up on a part of a stump that poked through the snow. He looked off the trail and saw the wreck of a sled. It looked like Roy’s. Johnny walked over to the wreck. He lifted the seat and found Roy’s first aid kit. It was his sled!

Johnny looked around for some sign of his partner. He saw footprints leading back toward the trail, but lost them after that. However, he took a deep breath as he saw against the white background of the snow, bright splotches of blood.

‘Roy’s hurt! I have to find him! He could freeze out here!’ John’s thoughts were running wild as he thought of all the ills that could befall his partner. It was starting to really snow now.

John thought that Roy might head back toward Frederic to get help, since they weren’t that far away. He headed back toward the small town.

He immediately went to the Frederic Inn, thinking Roy may have gone there to use the phone. As the least, they may have seen his partner.

"Hi again! I didn’t think I would see you again tonight!" The waitress said cheerfully. She looked at him again and realized something was wrong. "What is it?"

"Have you seen my friend? The one that was here with me earlier?"

"No, hun, I haven’t, and I sure wouldn’t forget his face. Where was the last place you saw him?"

"I found his sled wrecked on the trail and some blood but I can’t find him. I am really worried. He isn’t used to the cold and it is really snowing out there!" Johnny sighed. ’How do these things always happen to us, Roy?’ he thought.

The waitress had gone over to another table. John was beginning to think she wasn’t taking him seriously. She came over with a man in tow.

"Tell him what you told me. He is on the fire department and maybe they can help you find your friend." John relayed the story and the man went down to the station. He his a button on the outside of the building and the department whistle was heard through the small town. Soon, the department parking area was full of vehicles and the station was full of the volunteers.

"Everyone, listen up. We have a lost snowmobiler who has been in an accident. He is bleeding and has not been seen for almost an hour. He is from California. His name is Roy. He is wearing a black helmet with a black and red snowmobile suit. We have a storm bearing down on us, so be
careful! Everyone search in teams of two an be sure to keep a radio nearby so we can find out how the other teams are doing. John, I want you to stay here with me. If your friend comes back here, I want you to be here for him. I’m not medically trained. Alright everyone! Let’s go to work!" People took off in trucks, cars and snowmobiles. The effort to find Roy before this storm overwhelmed the area was great.

John put a call into Steve while they were waiting.

"Steve! We have a problem. Roy and I got separated. When he didn’t come down the trail after a while, I went looking for him. I found his sled wrecked off the trail a ways. He is missing!!!" John was starting to panic. It was almost 2 hours now since Roy was missing. There was an inch of new snow on the ground and the temperature was dropping. Things were not looking good!

"Johnny, calm down. They will find him. I’ll be there in Frederic in twenty minutes. Where are you?"

"I’m at the fire station. I’ll see you in a few minutes." Johnny hung up the phone. The man he was waiting at the station with, Andy, was calling in to each of the teams. Two teams had found the wreck and were searching in different directions from it.

Steve arrived before the promised twenty minutes. Now the pair sat around waiting. John wished he could be out searching for his friend. He was feeling guilty about leaving him behind. He should have been more careful and paid attention to what was going on behind him.

Steve was also going through his own guilt trip. He thought it was his fault for letting the two inexperienced riders go off on their own. He wondered how he was going to tell Joanne.

"We found him!!!" A radio cut into Steve’s thoughts.

"Station one do you copy? We found the missing snowmobiler?"

"Yes, Team 3, we copy. Is he okay?"

"Hold on," after a couple minutes, the disembodied voice came back on the air.

"He’s unresponsive! He is breathing, but barely. We are assisting with that. It looks like he has a head injury, broken ribs and a broken right arm. He may have a collapsed lung. We are going to need the chopper to get him to Munson! Can you call it in for us and get out here to do an LZ?"

"Affirmative, Team 3." A couple minutes went by after Andy called dispatch.

"Central dispatch to incident command: Helo cannot fly, repeat helo cannot fly. Weather is impeding vision."

"Team three from Station one, helo is unable to fly due to weather conditions. Ground ambulance will be waiting at the trail outlet on Manistee River road. Is this the closest road?"

"Yes, Station one. Make sure ALS is coming this way. He’s gonna need all the help they can give him."

John had grabbed Steve and they had loaded up Johnny’s sled in the back of Steve’s truck. Once they had found out where Roy was going, Mercy Hospital, they were headed that way.

They pulled into the parking lot of the small hospital and went inside. Johnny talked to the receptionist and explained about the patient that was being brought in. He gave them information about birth date, social security number and next of kin. Roy and Johnny had each other’s information memorized in the event they were injured and unable to provide it. Johnny was glad at that moment that Joanne had suggested they do that for each other. At that moment, he realized he had no way of getting in touch with Joanne. Nobody had thought to get her mother’s number from Roy. Nobody had anticipated a problem like this.

Johnny heard a backup alarm and about 30 seconds later, a stretcher bearing Roy was wheeled past him. His friend looked terrible. John could see blood on his face and down the front of his chest.

As Roy was taken into the treatment area, John overheard the report that EMS was giving to the doctor.

"He’s in respiratory arrest! Happened about 2 minutes ago. We are still bagging. He was face down in the snow when we found him. He was missing for almost two hours. We have his arm splinted and he is back boarded and c-collared. It looks like he has a flail segment on his right side. We also have that stabilized with padding. He has no lung sounds on the right side and his trachea is deviating from midline. He has MAST pants on. His last BP was 80/42. Pulse was 124. When we cut his clothes off, we found possible frostbite to his fingers and toes. Take a look at the ears and nose, too."

Johnny felt helpless as he heard everything that had happened to his friend. Steve placed his hand on Johnny’s shoulder.

"John, he has lived through so much more than this. He will be ok. You have to be positive."

"Yeah, I know," John tried to stay up beat. "I just feel like it is my fault that he is in such bad shape. If I had just been watching what was going on! I can’t help but think he wouldn’t be this bad."

"Yeah and I was saying to myself that I shouldn’t have let two inexperienced riders take off on their own, either. Then I realized there was nothing I could have done. People go riding every day that have never had the opportunity to ride before. It was an accident. How could you have heard
if he was behind you or not, or if he had problems?" Steve looked right into Johnny’s eyes to emphasize his point as he talked, just like Roy did when he was trying to get through to Johnny. ‘How alike these two are and they don’t even know it,’ Johnny thought.

Their conversation was interrupted by the doctor walking into the waiting room. There were no other people around except the receptionist, so the doctor had a seat with them.

"I’m not going to beat around the bush, his chances aren’t all that good right now. He is suffering from exposure, we have his collapsed lung decompressed with a chest tube in, and he is intubated to give that lung a chance to mend. I’m not sure, but it looks like an earlier injury to his ribs may have weakened in that area and then they broke. He also has fluid buildup."

"He’s a firefighter/ Paramedic in LA. I’m his partner. He ate some smoke earlier this week and was injured. His doc said he had some bruised ribs on his right side."

" Well, that explains the severity of that injury as well as the fluid. He’ll probably end up with pneumonia out of the deal, if he pulls through the next 48 hours.

"He does have a head injury, but how severe, we don’t know yet. The bottom line is, he needs more care than I can give him here. With his head injury, I want to send him to a neuro unit in Traverse City. I have already called for a helo to take him to Munson. I don’t think he could survive the ground transport."

"He’s that bad?" asked Steve.

"Yes he is. He could go either way right now. Before we had that lung decompressed, he started having arrhythmias. I’m not sure if it was from the compression on his heart from the tension-
hemothorax or if it was from hypovolemia. Either way, we are giving him blood and have the lung decompressed and the arrhythmias have stopped."

"He had blood on his face and all over his chest. Are there any other injuries?" Steve asked.

"No. That was from the lung injury. He was bleeding into the pleural space and lung. Sometimes, if a patient with this injury coughs, blood will come up. I think that is what happened for the most part. He does have a couple scrapes and lacs to his face, but nothing requiring stitches.

"Are there any more questions?" the doctor asked the two men.

"Yeah. I thought they said the helo wasn’t flying. How did you get one to take him to the other hospital?" asked Steve.

"This helo has special equipment for inclement weather and has jet propulsion. It’s from the University of Michigan, about an hour away. The helo up here is just too small to handle this kind of weather and can’t fly for their own safety."

"Okay. Can we see Roy before they send him to Munson?" asked Johnny.

"Yeah, I’ll see what I can do." The doctor left. A couple minutes later, they were allowed to visit one at a time. They were still working on him so John and Steve had to stay out of the way.

Steve went back first. He was white as a ghost when he came back out to the waiting room.

"Man, how he is still here is beyond me. He is hurt so bad!" Steve was starting to loose his emotional grip. He was trying to stay strong for Johnny. "You better go see him. I overheard the nurse saying the chopper should be landing any time."

John looked at Steve. The man’s reaction had rattled Johnny. He steeled himself for what he was about to see. He had seen the human body injured beyond belief, but it was different when it was someone you were close to.

John pulled the curtain back and walked to the head of the bed. The sound of the ventilator beat a steady rhythm to the otherwise quiet room. John placed his hand on Roy’s shoulder. His friend was wrapped in a warming blanket but he still felt cool to Johnny. His thoughts were interrupted by the nurse.

"Excuse me, sir. The helo team is here. We need to move him."

Two men in blue jumpsuits came into the room. One was a paramedic and the other was a nurse. They hooked Roy up to their heart monitor and ventilator. They wheeled the bed out of the treatment area and down to the loading bay and out to the waiting helicopter.

Steve and John traveled to Traverse City, stopping off at the cabins so John could change clothes, they could drop off John’s sled and update Marie. After about ten minutes, they were back on the road.

Roy had been at Munson for over an hour when John and Steve finally got there. The two stopped at the reception desk and asked what room Roy was taken to. She gave them directions and they headed for the third floor.

The room was empty. John thought the receptionist had made an error. He went out to the desk to find a nurse.

"Hi, a friend of mine, Roy DeSoto, was just airlifted here a short time ago. We were told that he was in room 304. That room is empty."

"Oh, yes, well, he will be coming out to that room later this morning. They did a CT scan in the ER when he got here and he has a subdural hematoma. They took him to surgery a little while ago to evacuate the clot. You can have a seat in the waiting room if you like." The nurse pointed to a room with a couple of couches and chairs in it.

John and Steve passed time watching a television set that seemed to come right out of the dark ages. There was tape on the buttons and a little sign that said ‘Don’t change the channel’ on it.

John woke to tapping on his left shoulder.

"Mr. Gage? Are you Mr. Gage?" Johnny shook his head yes.

"Hi, I’m Dr. Langdon. I operated on your friend this morning. The surgery went well. He is in recovery right now, but should be in his room soon. He did very well and he has a good chance at a full recovery, barring any complications. Do you have any questions, Mr. Gage, Mr. DeSoto?" The doctor took in both Johnny and Steve with his gaze. "Very well. If you do, ask the nurses. If they can’t answer, they know how to get a hold of me. Have a good day, gentlemen." The doctor strode out of the room. The two men let out a sigh that neither knew they were holding.

The phone rang in the waiting room moments after the doctor left. Marie had tracked them down to the surgical waiting room.

"Hi Steve. Listen, Joanne just called. She knew something was wrong, and that she needed to call here, but she couldn’t figure out how or why. I told her what I knew. She was going to try to get a flight, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to this early in the morning. She said she would call and let me know. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Thanks, Marie. If she calls back, give her this number. 231-932-0894. That is the nurse’s station. They will know where we are. That goes for you too, if you need to call. Hey, I gotta go. I see them bringing Roy into his room. I love you and I’ll see you later!"

Roy was transferred to the bed in his room. He was still hooked to the vent and cardiac monitor. His head was wrapped in bandages. Johnny took in the Foley catheter that was at the side of the bed as well as the pneumovac connected to the chest tube that was draining blood from his partner’s lungs. Johnny thought Roy was even more pale than he was at Mercy Hospital, if that was possible. Roy had two IV’s. There was d5w going in one IV at a rapid rate and a unit of packed red blood cells with normal saline was going into the other IV at a more controlled rate.

The nurse came in, interrupting his observations.

"Mr. Gage? There is a phone call at the desk for you. A Joanne DeSoto. Do you want to take it in here or at the nurse’s station?"

"Thanks a bunch! I’ll take it at the desk, if that is okay." John knew that even in comas, patients could hear what was going on around them. He didn’t want to alarm Roy.

"Hi, Jo…Yes, I’m fine…He just came out of surgery and he is sleeping right now. They will know more when he wakes up…Now don’t say that! He will wake up! He has lived through rougher things than this. Remember that warehouse last summer?…Okay then. Where you able to get a flight out here?…Not yet, huh?…We’ll keep you updated now that you are home. Nobody except Roy knew your Mom’s number. We couldn’t call you…Yeah, I know…I’m sorry, Jo, I wish the news was better…I know you got the official update from the nurse before they handed me the phone…yes, I’ve seen him look worse…Yes, I will do that…You know he loves you and you will be able to tell him yourself again soon, but I will tell him for you…Get some rest!…Yup, bye to you too!"

Johnny hung up the phone. He walked toward Roy’s room to find Steve holding onto Roy’s hand for dear life. Steve wasn’t expecting John back so soon.

"Cousin, you have to wake up! You have to come back to us! Think of your wife and kids, your friends! You have a dear friend in that partner of yours. He hasn’t left your side! He even tried to take the blame for your accident when it’s all my fault you are lying here like this!"

At the last statement, Johnny thought it best to interrupt this one-sided conversation.

"Steve, you and Roy are definitely related. You both think you have exclusivity on guilt! I told you before, this was not your fault. I thought we had this matter settled?"

"Yeah, I thought so, too, until I saw him lying here like this. It hit me all over again, like a ton of bricks."

"I know what that feels like, Steve. I have only seen him injured a few times but each time I can’t help but think there was something I could have done to prevent his injury. I’m just protective, I guess."

They sat in Roy’s room well into the afternoon, occasionally getting up to stretch. The ventilator and cardiac monitor kept a steady rhythm. One of the nurses came back into the room. She wore a smug look on her face as she faced Steve and John.

" I just finished talking with that doctor you gave me in LA, Dr. Brackett? He is sending Roy’s medical files here. He asked if you were with him, Mr. Gage. I told him that you were and he insisted that I give you a message. ‘If I know you, John, you haven’t eaten or slept since Roy was hurt. I am ordering you to do both, or I start telling the nurses there about your charming strike out stories.’ There, does that sound right?" the nurse asked?

"Yeah, that’s Doc Brackett, alright," John said with his lop-sided grin. He was feeling a little better after the phone call with Joanne, but now he felt a lot better, knowing Dr. Brackett would help Roy even from this distance.

Steve went to the cafeteria. He found a sandwich and a bowl of soup for lunch. He decided to eat in the cafeteria and give John some time alone with Roy. They were close friends and undoubtedly, Johnny was just the voice that Roy needed to help bring him back to the here and now.

John sat in the room, staring at the cardiac monitor. He was calmed by the steady beat of the machine as it sounded off Roy’s heart beat. John fell into a light slumber, even though he was exhausted. He wanted to be here when Roy woke up, especially being in a strange place.

‘Where am I?’ the puzzled mind thought. Everything had a bluish haze to it. He tried to talk but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all. He heard someone saying it was all their fault. ‘What was all their fault?’ Roy wondered. He again tried to grip the hand that held his, trying to get some message to this distraught person. For some reason, Roy knew the man was upset about him. He didn’t know why nor could he recognize the man. A few minutes later, he had heard another voice. He knew both men, but was too tired to figure out from where. He fell into a dreamless sleep.

Later, Roy registered that one man had left the room. He thought he could hear the other man snoring softly. It reminded him of someone. Roy wasn’t sure who it could be. His thoughts were a swirling chaos. He couldn’t sort anything out.

‘ I was in the army! I remember explosions and running. There was another man with me. Maybe that’s where I know this man from. We were the medics. I thought we were going to make it. I blacked out. I must have been hit. When I woke up, he was gone. I had to find everyone! I had to see if they were alive!’ Roy remembered looking around for his battalion. He found almost everyone was already gone. The other medic was almost beyond recognition. ’Well, this person here with me couldn’t be the other medic, not with those injuries.’

His commanding officer was the next person Roy found. He was still alive, barely. Roy remembered trying to lift the man to his shoulders. They needed to get away from this area. As he lifted, Roy heard more gun shots. He felt a blinding pain go into his right shoulder. He dropped the load he was carrying.

The soldiers took both him and his commander into custody. ‘How are we going to get out of this?’ They were tied up, blindfolded and gagged. Roy knew his CO wouldn’t live much longer. Roy remembered the impact of a hard object with the side of his head as his world went black.

The alarm sounding woke Johnny out of his sleep. The cardiac monitor was showing a pulse rate in the 120’s. The vent alarm sounded as well. Roy was fighting the tube. Staff came bursting into the room.

"Roy! Calm down! Your okay! You have a breathing tube in. Don’t fight it!" The doctor was trying to calm his patient. A thin sheen of perspiration was present on the unconscious man’s forehead and lip as he fought the machine that was breathing for him.

"Get one milligram of lorazepam and inject it IM. He needs to calm down!" The nurse left the room.

"Doc, let me try. He doesn’t know any of you." Johnny stepped up to the side of Roy’s bed and leaned down to his ear. He took hold of Roy’s hand. "Hey, partner. You need to calm down. You have a tube in. Don’t fight it."

John’s slow calming words had the desired effect. Roy calmed down and began to open his eyes. He searched the room with unseeing eyes. He couldn’t focus on anything.

"Welcome back, partner," John said softly. Roy squeezed his hand, his eyes finally settling on Johnny’s concerned features.

"Well, Mr. Gage, I don’t think we will need that lorazepam as long as you’re here. Mr. DeSoto, do you want that tube out?"

Roy squeezed Johnny’s hand once. The doctor took this in and looked questioningly at Johnny. "We have a code. That means yes," Johnny said.

"I take it that you two end up injured a lot?" the doctor asked. Johnny laughed.

"In our line of work, it’s an all to frequent occurrence."

The doctor looked from Johnny to Roy. ‘These two have been through it, I’m sure.’

"Alright, Mr. DeSoto, when I tell you to, exhale through your mouth as hard as you can." Roy squeezed Johnny’s hand in acknowledgement. The doctor deflated the balloon on the ET tube as the nurse turned the vent off. "Now Roy!"

Roy exhaled hard. He fought the gagging reflex that came every time he had an ET tube removed. ‘God, I hate those things!’

"Well, you’ve defiantly done that before," the doctor commented. "Do you remember what happened?" Roy couldn’t talk yet. He shook his head no. A new wave of nausea surged. He fought and eventually lost the effort and Johnny was quick with a basin as he saw what was happening. Roy gagged and wretched. They heard the doctor give the nurse an order for phenergan injections for the nausea.

Later that night, Steve and John went back to the cabins. Roy was conscious, although he didn’t remember the accident. Roy fell asleep shortly after the ET tube was removed. They were confident he would sleep the rest of the night.

The next morning, John and Steve were back in Traverse City at Munson Medical Center. They walked in to find Roy sitting up in bed, looking much better than either man had seen him in two days. They were relieved.

"Hi there!" Roy said in a raspy voice.

"Is the food any better than at Rampart?" Johnny asked.

Roy made a disgusted face. "I don’t know. I am drinking mine. The broth seems to taste the same, though!" Roy coughed a couple times. Johnny noticed the blood was no longer being infused, but his partner had IV antibiotics now.

Roy noticed what Johnny was looking at.

"Junior, come on! You have been in enough of these situations to know that they do that as a precaution when they do surgery!"

"I know. It’s just that you sound terrible."

"That’s because he has a touch of pneumonia." The doctor came into the room. "He’s lucky that is all. It could have been much worse. Mr. DeSoto, I’m going to have to leave the chest tube in for another day. Your chest x-ray wasn’t as great as I had hoped. I think we will be able to take it
out tomorrow afternoon. Your arm will be set today. I don’t think you will need surgery. You are lucky. The frostbite didn’t do any permanent damage. I do think we can get rid of one of the IV’s, however. I don’t think you need two anymore." The doctor went to call for a nurse. Johnny put his hand on the doc’s arm.

"Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it." John grabbed a 2x2 from the box on the counter and took a piece of tape from the roll. He expertly removed the tape from Roy’s arm and slid the IV catheter from his friend’s vein. "Man, are you hairy!" Johnny joked.

"Yeah, but women love it!" Roy smiled at Johnny’s shocked look.

"I’m the one with all the girls following me!" Johnny was emphasizing his comment with his hand on his chest.

"Yeah, but I’m the one who’s married!" Roy held up his hand and flicked his wedding band. "Do you think you can find me a phone so I can let my wife know I’m still alive?"

"No need, honey! I can see for myself." Joanne walked over to her husband and carefully looked him over before trying to hug him. They kissed tenderly before they separated.

"Joanne! How did you get here? I thought you said you couldn’t get a flight? How did you get here?" Johnny stared at his friend’s wife.

"I managed to get one at 4am. I just got in at 9. I took the airport shuttle. I tried to call you here, but they said you had already left for the night. I was going to call the cabin, but I didn‘t have time if I wanted to catch my flight." Steve gave Joanne a quick hug. They all talked for a while before they noticed that Roy was asleep. They left the room and found a restaurant for lunch.

Steve, Joanne, and Johnny spent the rest of the evening at the hospital with Roy. He was running a low temp still and the IV antibiotics continued.

The group returned to the cabins later that evening. Marie and Joanne visited and prepared dinner while Johnny and Steve watched a hockey game on TV.

Johnny had called Captain Stanley and let him know that Roy would be released in about a week if all went well. He would be off duty a lot longer. Joanne had let Cap know about Roy’s condition prior to her flight. Johnny was glad to call him with good news. Cap had told him to take as much time as they needed, just get back safe.

As expected, Roy was released from the hospital after a week under orders to take it easy. They were going to rent a car to go home. Roy couldn’t handle sitting in a plane for the five plus hour flight. At least in a car, he could stretch out and get comfortable. Besides, with his recent lung
injury, he wasn’t sure he could fly anyhow with the pressure changes.

They had a day to kill before a rental car was available. Steve had thought of the perfect place to take Joanne since everyone else had loved it so much. He loaded the gang into his vehicle. Since Roy and John had never been there by car, they had no idea where they were going until they pulled into the small town.

"Alright, burritos!!!" Johnny exclaimed. They piled out of the vehicle, Roy with a little help from Joanne and Johnny. They walked into the Frederic Inn and found a table. The waitress came up to the table.

"I see you found your friend, Johnny. Although it looks like he found a little trouble." The waitress took everyone’s order and then brought out the drinks.

"I thought that was you!" a voice came from the other side of the nearly empty room.

Nancy and Jack, Roy’s rescuers, were coming over to the table.

"You look like you were hit by a truck!" Jack exclaimed.

"No, just a tree. I think it jumped out in front of me!"

"Yeah, our Northern Michigan variety of pine trees seem to have quite a knack for that. Any idea what happened?" asked Nancy.

"Well, I don’t remember the accident, but Johnny here says that he got a little ahead of me and I wrecked. He also said that I had wandered off from the accident scene. He said there was part of the sled’s track caught on a stump in the trail. That’s probably what caused the accident."

"Yeah, we had a heck of a time finding you, Roy. It looks like you were heading back to Frederic for help but you went off the trail. We were only able to find you by that red on your snowsuit." Roy was a little unnerved to hear the details of what had happened, but was feeling bad for putting everyone through so much trouble. He said as much.

Nancy dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Aww, Roy, you know as much as we do that it is part of our job. I’m just glad we found you when we did. We ended up with 6 inches of snow. You could have easily lain there a while longer and nobody would have found you. You would have froze to death."

Roy felt Joanne shudder next to him. He figured it was time to change the subject. Nancy and Jack beat him to the punch however.

"We’re gonna get going. It was good to see all of you again and to know that you are doing so well. If you are ever back this way, feel free to stop at the department. We’d all be glad to have ya!" Nancy and Jack waved as they left.

The waitress brought dinner to the table. They all enjoyed the wonderful food. Joanne agreed with Johnny when he said Marco could probably copy the recipe. Johnny wrote down some notes on a cocktail napkin.

After dinner, the group rode back to the cabins. Roy was done in and excused himself for the night. John and the rest of the DeSoto family chatted about how close they had come to loosing such a wonderful person.

The next day found John, Roy and Joanne on the road. The trip home was uneventful but long. Roy was uncomfortable for a good portion of the trip until he gave in and took some pain killers. He slept off and on for the remainder as John and Joanne took turns driving. Every night they would find a room, drag Roy into it, and crash. They made it home in three days.

After six weeks off from work, Roy was ready to come back. Johnny was just as ready to have his partner back. He was sick of all the replacements and was ready to get back to routine.

Roy was driving the squad back to the station after his first call back on duty. He was lost in thought as his partner rambled on about the traffic today.

"Roy!!"

"What, Johnny? God, you scared me!"

"I only called your name three times. What’s wrong?"

"I was just thinking about our Frederic counterparts. It sure is good to be back on this side of EMS."

"I bet it is, Roy. I bet it is."

The END!