Title: Ignorance Is Bliss
Authors: Creed Cascade and TJ
Fandom: Fastlane
Pairing: Van Ray/Deaqon Hayes
Rating: R
Status: new
Archive: If you want it, go ahead. Just knock me upside the head and let me know.
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He'd seen the car out front so he knew Van was home. He couldn't wait to see the look on his son's face when he surprised him. He started to knock on the door but changed his mind. Slipping a card from his pocket, he jimmied the door open and slipped soundlessly inside.
Ray Ray looked around quickly and noted his son was still as much of a pig as he’d ever been. There was a trail of clothes starting at the door and leading away. "Oh," he said quietly to himself. He concentrated and heard the distinctive squeaking of a bed.
// So Donny has a girl over? Maybe I’ll just pop in and say hello... that’d pay him back for that time he walked in on me and those strippers. Plus it wouldn’t hurt to see some fine female flesh after being in the joint. //
Ray Ray crept toward the bedroom door. He was concentrating so hard on being quiet that it never registered that the other voice coming from the partially open doorway was decidedly *not* female. Smiling widely, he threw open the door and stopped in his tracks at what he saw. His baby boy was laid out on the bed on all fours and being fucked by his decidedly *male* partner. In fact, Donny was whimpering out his encouragement rather vocally until he saw his father standing in the doorway.
"Shit," Van gasped, horrified. "Dad... what... what are you doing here?"
Van's words managed to get through to Deaq and he looked up to see Ray Ray glowering at them. He froze, unsure what to do. He wanted to grab Van and pull him behind him. The cop in him wanted to go for his gun while the lover in him shuddered at the thought of having to defend them from Van's own father.
"Getting’ my eyes and my heart burned out by my fag son!" Ray yelled and started on a typical Ray family rant. "And for God’s sake, cover yourself! No wait… not for God’s sake, cause obviously you don’t believe in God anymore..."
"Dad... please..." Van began, starting to tremble. Things had been going so good between them lately. He had actually planned to tell the man about him and Deaq once he was out. Now it looked like it was too late. His father knew and was disgusted by him. Again.
Deaq pulled out of Van and wrapped a shirt around them as Ray Ray continued on his rant. He was pacing back and forth in the doorway, throwing his arms into the door. "I always thought you were a fag from the time you were a kid! Always crying at nothin’ even though I never laid a hand on you! For Christ’s sake you played with dolls and you were always too pretty for your own good."
"Ray Ray!" Deaq shouted, stopping the man in mid rant. "Take it outside. Me and Van'll be out in a minute."
"You!" Ray Ray pointed at Deaq, "You… don’t tell me what to fucking do! I come here to see my only son… to thank him… and I get this! I thought I was done seeing my share of bitches now that I was outta prison… but you’re just like your mother… she was a fucking bitch, too!" Ray Ray turned and walked out of the room.
Deaq closed his eyes and took a deep breath now that Ray Ray had stormed away. He could feel Van shaking next to him and he wanted to put his fist through the wall. "Van... babe... you okay?"
"I… I should go… after him," Van said, his voice cracking and his face buried into a pillow.
"Let's get dressed first then we'll both go talk to him," Deaq said. There was no way in hell he was letting Van do this alone. He didn't want to see them come to blows again. Not when Van was finally starting to have a decent relationship with the guy. Deaq only hoped he could see past his prejudice.
"He’d have left already…" Van said. "But if he came right from prison, he would have taken a cab like he always does."
Deaq grabbed a pair of sweats and threw Van his jeans. He jerked two shirts from the closet, not caring whose they were. He pulled one on and handed the other one to his lover. Van was still shaking hard and Deaq was getting angrier by the minute.
"I’m wearing your shirt," Van noted as they went out the door and threw Deaq an unsure, shaky smile.
"You want my pants, too?" Deaq asked, trying to ease Van's tension. He hated seeing his partner like this. And only one man was capable of doing this to him.
"He’d notice," Van quipped. "You have better taste than me."
"Of course I do," Deaq quipped back. "I'm going out with you."
They walked into the living room to see Ray Ray in the process of yelling into the phone, trying to order a cab. "…I told you the fucking address, now just get here! There’s an extra twenty in it for the driver if he gets here in under five minutes."
Deaq walked over and jerked the phone from the angry man's hand. "Excuse me, this is Detective Deaqon Hayes. Cancel that cab order. Yeah. Thanks." Deaq hung up the phone and turned angry eyes on Ray Ray. How dare he storm in here, turn Van's whole life upside down then try to slink off, leaving him to pick up the pieces?
"I’ll just use the pay phone down the street, smartass," Ray Ray snapped at Deaq. He wore that same expression Van wore when he was pissed. On Van it made him all the more fuckable, while on Ray Ray it just made him want to punch the man.
"Not yet you won't," Deaq said. He grabbed the older man by the arm and propelled him toward the couch. He didn't let go until Ray Ray was seated.
"Maybe you should just let him go," Van muttered. He was "standing" in one spot, but doing almost every motion possible in that space. His arms were crossed protectively over his torso, but his fingers kept twitching and he was rocking back and forth.
"Come on and sit down, baby," Deaq said, ignoring the glares Ray Ray was throwing his way as he moved over beside Van. "He's not going to come busting up in here and then take off. And he's not leaving here until he apologizes for that shit he said about you."
Ray Ray was still stuck on Deaq’s pet name for Van. "Donny, did he just call you baby? Your goddamn mother used to call you every name under the rainbow. What’s it gonna be next… Sweetpea… Honey… Bitch?"
"If you don't want to end up back in the joint I suggest you shut your fucking mouth," Deaq snarled. "At least I got more respect for him than to call him by a name he *hates*!"
"What… fag?" Ray Ray spat. "I thought he should be used to that by now."
"Try Donny, you asshole," Deaq shot back. A small sound from Van drew his attention from Ray. Deaq could have kicked himself. Taking a deep breath, he tried to address Van's father more civilly. "Look, Ray, we know this is a lot for you to take in. Van was gonna tell you. He just wanted to wait till you were out. He didn't want the whole place finding out and giving you shit about it. Come on, man. He's your son."
This time Ray Ray turned to Van and addressed his son directly. "It’s bad enough you’re a cop and had to turn away from the family business, but now another guy… and a cop to boot? Are you trying to kill me?"
"I'm sorry," Van whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You never mean to, Donny," Ray Ray said, his voice a little calmer, but the disappointment obvious. "You never mean to screw up, but you always do."
"Where the hell do you get off calling him a screw up?" Deaq demanded. "He's made a life for himself. He's a damn good cop and I'm proud to be his lover. What fucking right do you have to try and make him ashamed of that?"
"Cause he’s turned his back on everything that his people have done to survive," Ray Ray shot back. "He thinks he’s better than us."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Deaq asked, thoroughly confused.
"This isn’t about my roots, Dad," Van said. "This about what who I am. Someone you obviously don’t like."
"Hey now, when did I ever say I didn't like you?" Ray Ray said. The tone of his son's voice cut right through him. He didn't think he'd ever heard Van sound that defeated in his life. "You just caught me off guard with all this."
"You called me a fag," Van said.
"Well, aren’t you?" Ray Ray asked. "But you’re still my son."
"Bet you wish less people knew that, huh?" Van shrugged.
"People assumed you were for years," Ray Ray answered with a shrug. "I got in more than one fight defending you 'cause you always told me you weren’t."
"I wasn't," Van said. "I mean, I never did anything. Never met anyone I was interested in enough to try it. Till I met Deaq anyway."
"But another cop?" Ray Ray asked, eyeing Deaq. "Is that really safe?"
"Safe as anything else," Van said. "We keep a pretty low profile and Billie doesn't have a problem with it so she runs interference for us. It's worth it, though. I wouldn't give him up for anything. Or anyone."
"So you *really* want me to believe that a black, queer *man* is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Ray Ray asked. "Is he even Catholic?"
"Nope," Deaq smiled nastily. "But I will be if that's what Van wants. It don't make no difference to me. So tell me, Ray Ray, which one of those you got a problem with more? The fact I'm black or the fact I'm a guy?"
"The fact that you’re a cop," Ray Ray shot back.
"Fine, I'll quit," Deaq said. "But that means that Van'll be out there with someone else watching his back. Someone that maybe isn't willing to take a bullet for him. You really sure you want that, Ray Ray?"
"What *I* want is a hot dog and a cold beer," Ray Ray answered, getting up from the couch. He was hungry, he was tiered and his head hurt. Whenever he got together with any of his family, it was always an emotional roller coaster and his son was no different.
"Beer's in the fridge. You're out of luck on the hot dog, though. We can order in some pizza or something for tonight. We'll go out for hot dogs tomorrow." Deaq squeezed Van's shoulder as his father walked into the kitchen. He could feel Van still trembling slightly under his hand and he wished he could tell him that everything would be okay.
"This is going better than I expected," Van said quietly. "At least he called you a queer and not a fag. That means he’s trying."
"Well he needs to try a little harder," Deaq said. "If he says one more thing about you I'm going to knock him into next week."
"That’s just his way," Van said, his eyes slipping over to where his father sat in the kitchen. "It’s better me than you. He doesn’t fight with his fists. He uses words. Well, usually."
"He tries to put a hand on you and he'll find out just how hard I can hit. I'm not gonna stand by and watch him tear you apart, baby."
"He’s right," Van shook his head. "He never laid a hand on me until that last time. And I started that."
"Alright," Deaq said, somewhat mollified. "But it's not his fists I'm worried about. He's tearing you up inside and I don't like it."
"It’s nothing I’m not used to," Van tried to come off sarcastic, but he didn’t think he managed to pull off. He wasn’t sure where he got his temperament. He suspected both parents because they both had vicious tempers and an uncanny skill at ripping at each other with words. His father had always been able to do more damage with a disappointed look or a few sharp words than a punch ever could.
"It's not going to happen. Not anymore," Deaq told him. He knelt down beside Van's chair and stroked his lover's face. "He doesn't get to hurt you like that. No one does. Not while I'm around."
"Don’t you know I’m indestructible?" Van gave a little wounded laugh.
"Yeah right," Deaq snorted. "I'll remember that the next time I leave a bruise on that pretty little ass of yours."
"Bruise?" Ray Ray’s voice was steel from behind the pair. "Is he hurting you, Donny?"
"What?" Van jumped, surprised by his father's stern voice. "Dad... no. We're both... you know... guys. I'm not some frail little thing he's got to worry about hurting. We *both* end up with a few bruises sometimes."
All of the petty arguments were forgotten as the father in Ray Ray came out. He turned to Deaq and threatened, "If I ever find out you hurt him in any way..."
"Like I'd ever do that," Deaq shot back. "I love him. You may not want to hear that but it's true. Yeah we may get a little rough now and then but it's nothing he can't handle and it's nothing he doesn't give back to me."
"Deaq…" Van protested and felt his cheeks burning. He did *not* need to discuss their sex life with his father. It was bad enough that the man had walked in on them in mid act.
"He's the one that accused me of hurting you," Deaq defended. "I don't do you anything you don't like. Do I?"
"No… no, I like… everything… but… he’s my *Dad*," Van tried to explain, his blush growing brighter.
"Sorry, baby," Deaq said, chagrined. "Just the way you said that... I got a little worried. I know we already had this talk, but I don't want you ever doing anything just because I want it. It would kill me if I ever did anything to hurt you."
"He’s just embarrassed," Ray Ray noted with another swig of his beer. "He always embarrassed easily. What’za matter, Donny, it’s not like I hadn’t seen any of it before. I changed your diaper. And hello, I just got out of *prison*."
"What we share ain't anything like that," Van snapped. "Look, I love him. And for some fucked up reason, he loves me back. I'm not giving him up. Not for you or anybody else. I don't want things to go back to the way they were between us, Dad, but I'm not going to change who I am for you."
Ray Ray studied his son carefully and the way Deaq was hovering over him protectively. He knew men could love other men. Hell, he’d loved his partner in crime, but not the way he’d loved his wife or numerous other women. He’d seen misplaced feelings between men develop in prison and wasn’t his boy trapped in a life where he wasn’t quite a cop, but not a criminal either?
"So he’s not hurting you…" Ray Ray hedged. "And you’re relatively happy?" Maybe this was the best thing for Donny. The boy certainly had bad luck when it came to women, just like his old man.
"I'm happier than I've ever been before," Van said. "Deaq's it for me, Dad. If I lost him I might as well eat a bullet."
Ray Ray sighed and then decided it was easier to go with the flow than fight it. You could say one thing about Ray’s. When they made a decision, they usually made it quickly, and rashly, but they didn’t turn back. Now it was time to get to know if this partner of his son’s was worth Donny’s devotion. Turning his gaze on Deaq, he asked, "Have you ever been married before?"
"Nope," Deaq replied. "Kind of hard for two guys to get married. And yeah, I always preferred men over the ladies."
"You’re not Catholic," Ray Ray repeated. "But like you said, two guys can’t get married in the church anyway. You’ve been treating my boy right? He needs someone to take care of him."
"I treat him as good as he'll let me. He's kind of stubborn about some things," Deaq smiled, glancing at Van. A thought occurred to him and he cleared his throat before continuing. "Uh, Ray Ray, I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. I know Van doesn't want to talk about our, uh, sex life or nothing, but I just want you to know it's not all one-sided or anything."
"I’m not talking about sex," Ray Ray coughed. "I’m talking about making sure he eats right… gets clean socks on occasionally. He always was a big kid and his mother said he needed a good girl to take care of him since she didn’t do it."
"He treats me real good, Dad," Van said. "Better than anyone ever has before. He makes sure I eat and sleep and all that shit. He loves me."
"Yeah, all that shit," Ray Ray repeat with a scowl. "At least someone is. This doesn’t mean I’m happy you’re a fa… queer… oh shit, gay?"
"Call it whatever you want," Van laughed. "I've been called worse. And I know you don't mean it like that."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ray Ray tried to sound stern and when he failed, he took another sip of beer. "You know all the guys are gonna say ‘I told ya so’ now."
"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't mean to make trouble for you," Van said, his mood turning sombre once more.
"It just means some of the old gang are gonna want to meet Deaq," Ray Ray sighed, that and he owed some of them a few notes.
"Just as long as they watch their mouths around Van," Deaq said. He'd overlook Ray Ray for Van's sake, but he'd bust heads if anybody else called his lover a fag.
"Who do ya think babysat or played fill-in-dad when I wasn’t around?" Ray Ray gave Deaq a meaningful look.
"Great. Just how many dad's you got, baby?"
"Not dad’s, just friends of the family," Van said with a wicked smile, although a lot of them *had* slept with his mother. "Half of them of are actually relatives of some distant sort. But didn't you always say most gypsies are related, Dad?"
"Whoa, hold on a sec. Did you just say gypsies?" Deaq asked.
"His grandfather changes the family name from something rather unpronounceable," Ray Ray confirmed. "He thought it made us more respectable. Of course, this was also the same meathead who named me Ray Ray."
Deaq laughed. He did think Ray's name was a bit much but the man wore it well. He was just glad he hadn't carried on the tradition with his son. He did wonder about that though. "So, Ray, how come you didn't name this guy Ray Jr?"
"Cause there’s only one Ray Ray," Ray Ray said. "Besides, his mother was pissed at me and she had a thing for Donny Osmond."
"Oh shit!" Deaq snorted, falling back on his ass. "Y-you were named after Donny Osmand? Oh damn, man. That's cold!"
"Shut *up*!" Van all but howled. "*Dad*! You promised you’d stop telling people that!"
"Oh come on," Ray Ray grinned. "It's not that bad." He knew how much Donny hated anyone finding out about that. His mother had wanted to name him Donald but Ray had put his foot down about that. They weren't naming his only son after a damn duck. So they'd compromised and come up with Donovan. He just wished his son didn't hate it so much.
"It’s Van, Dad," Van rolled his eyes. "It’s been Van since I was thirteen."
"Son, Van is a stupid name," Ray said. "A van is something a bunch of spics ride around in. It's not a man's name."
"It’s a name! It’s *my* name. And don’t use words like spics," Van started into a rant. "It makes you sound like an old bigoted con. Oh wait… you are!"
"Hey now, let's not start sniping again," Deaq put in, wanting to stop the fight before it had a chance to get started. "Your pops can't help the way he is. As long as the word nigger don't come out of his mouth me and him won't have a problem."
"Or fag," Van added through his clenched teeth. He wanted to stop fighting, he really did, but this was how his family communicated. His good intentions lasted all of ten seconds. "God, help me Dad, if you get on Deaq’s case, I’ll…"
"You'll what, Donny?" Ray challenged. He had no intention of getting on Deaq's case as long as he treated his son right, but he wasn't going to sit there and be bullied. Not by his own wet behind the ears offspring.
"I’ll… I’ll…" Van hesitated. "I’ll sick Mom on you."
"Do *not* bring your mother into this. My God, your mother. Tell me you haven't told your mother about all this," Ray demanded, his face paling slightly.
"I don’t exactly know where she is," Van admitted, "But one phone call and I could track her down. I actually talk with you more than I do her. But if you’re an asshole to Deaq, I won’t hesitant to call her and she’ll come down here to make your life a living hell."
"You think I'm bad?" Ray Ray scoffed. "Just let your mother find out your fucking some guy. She'll make me look like a pussycat."
"Oh please," Van scoffed right back at his father. "She owes me one after I walked in on her screwing my little league coach."
"YOU DID WHAT?" Ray roared, glaring at his son.
"It’s a long story," Van said. "One I don’t want to talk about. Right now, I want a beer and I think I owe you a hotdog."
"We'll get the hotdogs tomorrow," Ray Ray said. "We can order in a pizza tonight. I just got out of the joint. I want to spend some time with my son."
"I know you just got out of the joint," Van sighed. "And if you had told me when, I could have picked you up like usual."
"I wanted to surprise you," Ray grinned. "Guess I managed that at least. Look, son, I know I kind of went off before. I'm sorry about that. As long as you're happy that's all that matters."
"Yeah, I’m happy," Van answered. "He’s a hell of lot easier than any woman."
"Hey, I can be high maintenance," Deaq huffed.
"But you haven’t tried to kill me yet," Van said with a quirky smile plastered on his face.
"No way, partner. You're stuck with me for good."
END