Title: Wishful Thinking

Author/pseudonym: Caroline Crane

Fandom: Glory Days

Paring: Mike/Rudy

Rating: NC17

Status: new

Archive: yes to list archives

Series/Sequel: nope

Disclaimers: These fine creatures belong to Kevin Williamson and the WB, although I wouldn't mind renting Rudy out for awhile.

Notes: Less than a week into this fandom and I'm already getting attitude from Mike Dolan. All I wanted him to do was work with me for part three of my little Glory Days series, and he immediately started whining that I was making him sound like a complete bastard. So I asked him what I could do to make it up to him, and he said sex would be a nice start. Thankfully not with me. So here it is, my first ever light-hearted, fairly sappy, Glory Days PWP.

Summary: Rudy demands answers and Mike finally tells him what he already knew.

Warnings: none that I can think of

Wishful Thinking
by Caroline Crane

"You seriously can’t remember."

"Remember what?"

Mike rolled his eyes and pulled two more beers out of the six-pack they’d brought with them down to the ferry landing, passing one to Rudy before he twisted the top off his own bottle. He looked out over the dark water, watching fog roll over the surface as he contemplated just telling his best friend the truth. "I can’t believe you don’t remember."

"For God’s sake, Mike, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I think if I gave you a reason to write me as a moronic latent homosexual I’d remember."

Mike’s eyebrows shot up at that; Rudy was getting angry, not that that was a new side of his best friend or anything. Still, his reaction to Mike’s avoidance tactics was definitely interesting, and at the least it made Mike wonder if maybe Rudy remembered a little more than he was letting on.

"It happened right here," Mike answered, still avoiding the whole truth. He was a writer, maybe not a great one but he knew enough about timing to know how to draw out a story. Besides, he kind of liked pushing Rudy’s buttons. If nothing else Rudy was cute when he was pissed. "Well, it started right here anyway. It ended in the back seat of the car."

He watched with interest as Rudy paled, then cleared his throat and took a long pull from his beer. The sheriff was carefully avoiding looking in his direction as well, and Mike wasn’t sure whether to be amused that Rudy was so uncomfortable or mad that he was pretending not to remember. Finally the other man turned to look at him, his expression guarded as he forced himself to hold Mike’s gaze. "Would you stop talking in circles and just answer the question?"

"Alright, alright. Wishful thinking."

"Wishful thinking."

"Yeah," Mike said, nodding as though the explanation should be obvious.

"You made me a closet case because you wished I was gay?"

"Not exactly. Well, yeah, but not the way you make it sound." Mike rolled his eyes at himself and reached for his beer, tearing his gaze away from Rudy’s as he realized how wrong this was all coming out. He’d rehearsed this conversation a hundred times since he’d been back in town, he’d just assumed that when the subject finally came up that he’d be completely in control. Still, something about sitting so close to Rudy with alcohol warming his blood, practically reenacting that night, made him more nervous than he’d expected to be.

"I don’t get it." It was true, Rudy looked genuinely confused and Mike felt a small amount of relief that Rudy at least hadn’t punched him yet. "I mean why would you care? If I was gay – and I’m not saying I am – I’d think that would make you want to steer clear of me."

"You really think I’m that big of an asshole?" Mike asked, shock and hurt steering him off track for a minute.

Rudy’s eyes widened in the darkness and he leaned forward almost imperceptibly, studying Mike’s features as though he was trying to decide if the other man was playing mind games with him. "It’s just that most straight guys wouldn’t be too thrilled to find out their best friend was gay, let alone actually wish for it."

It was now or never; Mike had been leading up to this exact moment all night and he knew he couldn’t back down now even if he wanted to. "Yeah, well, it’s just lucky I’m not straight. But then you already knew that."

For a long time they sat there in silence, Mike staring out over the water while he waited for Rudy to say something. If he wasn’t positive that somewhere deep down Rudy remembered exactly what had happened between them he might be nervous; after all he wasn’t the most popular guy in town, and if the sheriff decided to kill him and dump the body the townspeople would probably help him cover it up. Hell, they’d probably throw a parade in Rudy’s honor and elect him King.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat that way, but when he finished his last beer and set the bottle on the dock next to him Rudy finally spoke. "What are you talking about?"

Mike turned and met Rudy’s gaze, wincing inwardly at the panic in his best friend’s eyes. "I’m talking about the last time you and I came down to this dock and sat in this very spot. The last time we got drunk together, right before I left town."

As he watched all the color drained out of Rudy’s face, his dark eyes impossibly wide as he shook his head as though he was trying to chase away a lingering nightmare. "No. No way, that was just a dream."

"If it was I’m pretty sure I had the same dream."

"It didn’t happen, Mike," Rudy insisted, his voice pleading as he looked down at the weathered wooden boards underneath them.

Mike swallowed against the lump in his throat as he listened to Rudy plead with him, his heart falling as he resigned himself to the inevitable. He should have known that Rudy would want to deny it, he’d wanted to forget it so much when it happened that he’d convinced himself he dreamed the whole thing. "Fine, Rudy. We didn’t make out on the dock. We didn’t practically tear each other’s clothes off right here in this very spot, and we didn’t have sex in the back of my car. It never happened."

He didn’t intend to sound so bitter, but the fact that they were sitting in the exact same spot where it happened and Rudy was still denying it hurt more than he’d expected it to. He knew the other man had a right to be pissed at him, he shouldn’t have taken out his hurt and frustration in the book. At the time he hadn’t expected to find himself back here, though, and he definitely hadn’t expected to still want Rudy so much.

"It couldn’t…shit. I thought I dreamed that whole night," Rudy muttered, as much to himself as to Mike. He was staring out at the fog without really seeing it, and Mike had to curl his hands into fists to keep from reaching out for the other man.

"Yeah, well, denial comes in handy when things don’t fit into your plans," Mike said, pleased with himself for keeping his voice from breaking. "Look, forget I said anything. I wouldn’t have brought it up if you hadn’t wanted an answer so bad."

Finally Rudy looked over at him, his expression a mixture of confusion and pure misery as he searched Mike’s features for the answers to questions he hadn’t asked yet. "So this was all…what? Revenge?"

"No. Why would I want revenge for that? I was there too, Rudy. We didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do." He watched as Rudy’s face flushed, the corners of his lips twitching as he watched Rudy remembering exactly what had happened that night. "I mean it wasn’t exactly ideal, a hand job in the back seat of a car isn’t my idea of true romance or anything. But we were drunk, what are you gonna do."

He shrugged for emphasis and turned away again, wishing he had another beer just so he’d have something to do with his hands. There were a few things he could think of that he’d like to be doing with them, but so far it didn’t look like Rudy was terribly interested in a repeat performance. In all the years he’d spent thinking about this moment he’d never let himself hope that Rudy would suddenly want him, but that hadn’t stopped him from wanting his best friend. He’d wanted him so much, in fact, that he’d stayed far away for as long as he could just so he wouldn’t be tempted to do something about it. Throwing himself into a flirtation with Ellie was supposed to be a distraction, but all it did was make him even more aware that she wasn’t the person he really wanted.

"So why’d you do it?" Rudy’s voice was low, smaller than usual too and if Mike wasn’t careful he was going to start reading into the breathy, slightly hesitant question.

"I don’t know, Rudy," he answered, truly wishing for the first time that he had a better answer to give. "I was out of my mind about my dad, I was looking for people to blame I guess and I just wrote the stupid book without thinking about how people would react. I didn’t do it to hurt you, I mean not on purpose."

"So making the whole town think I was gay was just a fringe benefit?"

A wry grin tugged at the corners of Mike’s lips as he glanced over at Rudy, struggling against the urge to say something sarcastic. "Well it’s the truth," he said, raising his eyebrows pointedly when Rudy opened his mouth to argue. "Would it be so bad if everybody knew? I mean they all think it’s true and they haven’t asked you to resign yet."

"I’m an elected official, Mike. All the people on this island need is one excuse and I’m out next election."

Mike shrugged again and leaned back, resting his weight on his hands as he studied Rudy’s profile. "So you’d rather spend the rest of your life pretending people aren’t whispering behind your back than just being who you are and taking a chance that you might lose your job."

Rudy opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again and fixed Mike with a dark scowl. "Why do you care?"

"Well for one thing you’re my best friend," Mike answered, shaking his head at the skeptical look on the other man’s face. "Alright, so maybe I haven’t acted much like it in the past few years, but when I left I thought you just wanted to pretend the whole thing never happened. That doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you."

"You…you care about me."

"Yeah," Mike said, smiling nervously in spite of the fact that he kept waiting for Rudy to push him off the dock.

"And when you decided to come back to Glory…was that more wishful thinking?"

"I guess you could say that," Mike answered, his heart in his throat as he admitted the truth out loud for the first time since he left town. "I mean part of it was Sam writing that letter to get me back here, but I was kinda hoping that maybe the book…I don’t know. That it made you think. If not about that night or me then at least about what you wanted."

Rudy nodded slowly, and Mike watched him warily as he waited for the other man to punch him or at the very least tell him to go to hell. Part of him wanted to cut his losses and walk away, but the part of him that had been dreaming about this moment since the day he decided to come back wouldn’t let him move. So he sat there, shoulder to shoulder with the man he’d known practically his whole life, and waited for Rudy to decide what he wanted.

"So what’s with you and Ellie then?"

Mike took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, frowning as he tried to find the best way to explain. "It’s like when someone dares you to jump off the high dive. You don’t want to do it, you know you’re gonna get up there and be terrified and you’re probably just gonna chicken out anyway. But you have to try, because they dared you to."

"So you’re chasing Ellie because she dared you to?"

Mike grinned at the skeptical look on his best friend’s face, reaching out to smooth the frown lines out of Rudy’s forehead. "Kind of. Well, that and I thought you wanted to forget anything ever happened."

Rudy reached up and caught the hand that was trailing through his hair, entwining their fingers as he lifted his beer with his other hand. "I can’t believe that wasn’t a dream." His eyes widened and he set his beer down, turning to stare back out over the water. "I can’t believe I just forgot something that huge."

"Well I don’t know about huge, but I haven’t gotten any complaints," Mike said, smirking as Rudy flushed and rolled his eyes. He reached up to rest one hand on the back of Rudy’s neck, drawing his attention slowly back to Mike. As soon as their eyes met his heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t at all sure anymore if this was still what Rudy wanted. After all it had been years, Mike had left town without a word about that night and Rudy had repressed the whole drunken encounter. Maybe their moment had already come and gone, and he’d missed his shot with the one person he’d been thinking about all these years.

As he hesitated Rudy leaned forward, his hand landing on the front of Mike’s jacket to pull him close. Before Mike even had a chance to register his shock Rudy’s mouth was on his, his tongue urging Mike’s lips apart. Mike yielded instantly, more out of shock than anything else. The second Rudy’s lips began moving against his the memories of that night came flooding back, along with every single time over the past few years that he’d wondered what would have happened if he’d talked to Rudy about that night before he left town.

When he felt a hand slide down his chest he stopped thinking altogether, thrusting instinctively into the hand cupping his groin. "Definitely no complaints from me," Rudy murmured as their lips parted, his fingers still idly stroking the denim stretched across Mike’s crotch.

"You keep that up and I can just see tomorrow’s headline," Mike said as he caught Rudy’s wrist. "’Glory Island sheriff arrested for public indecency with town pariah’."

"The fact that your own sister would actually do that to you scares me," Rudy answered, standing up and taking a minute to steady himself against the three beers and the surge of lust coursing through him. When he was sure he wasn’t going to tumble into the water he held out his hand and pulled Mike to his feet before leaning down to gather the empty bottles.

Mike smiled fondly as he watched Rudy take the time to clean up their trash, helping the other man carry the empty beers to the trash before he caught Rudy’s hand again and pulled him close. "You wanna finish this conversation back at my place?" Rudy asked, his voice wavering a little as Mike’s mouth landed on his neck to trail soft kisses up to his earlobe.

"What, you don’t wanna go for a repeat performance in the back of the car?" Mike asked, chuckling at the shiver that rolled through Rudy’s body as Mike’s breath warmed his ear. "You’ve got that big SUV now."

"Yeah, like that wouldn’t make the front page," Rudy shot back as he managed to squirm out of Mike’s grasp long enough to dig his keys out of his pocket. "Sara would have a field day with that one."

"Point taken." Mike grinned and backed toward Rudy’s SUV, laughing softly as the other man groaned and practically sprinted around the front of the car. Neither of them spoke on the ride back to Rudy’s place, and Mike was thankful that Rudy hadn’t tried to touch him again because he was pretty sure if he did they wouldn’t make it home.

They managed to keep their hands off each other all the way to the door, but as soon as they were inside Mike found himself flattened against the wall with his best friend plastered to him. Their lips fused together again, hands working on buttons and zippers. Mike let out a low hiss as Rudy finally managed to work his zipper open, a hand sliding under the waistband of his boxers to grip his length.

"Rudy," he gasped, struggling for his voice and the other man’s attention, "at the risk of sounding like a teenager, I don’t think I’m gonna last long here."

The mouth that had been moving on his neck disappeared suddenly, and Rudy met his slightly unfocused gaze with a smirk. "Let’s take the edge off then."

Before Mike could even nod his consent Rudy was on his knees, working Mike’s jeans and boxers over his hips to pool at his feet. He gasped as the first hot breath hit him, his hands flying to Rudy’s hair to guide that amazing mouth to where he wanted – no, needed – it. He’d never needed something so much in his life, but he’d been waiting years for this moment and even though it would be over way too fast he couldn’t bring himself to slow down.

A shudder rolled through him as Rudy ran his tongue up Mike’s length, tasting the tip experimentally before he pulled back again. "Rudy, please," Mike breathed, beyond caring that he was begging or that Rudy was more or less still fully clothed while he’d somehow managed to strip down to nothing. The only thing he knew or cared about was that he’d waited years for this, he’d convinced himself it was never going to happen again and now that it was he wasn’t sure he’d survive it.

The second Rudy’s mouth closed around him he knew he’d never survive it, but suddenly the idea of dying right where he stood didn’t seem so bad. He didn’t even care if they ran a full-page spread about it in the newspaper, as long as he got this one night to convince both of them that they still had a chance. His eyes rolled back as Rudy’s mouth moved on his skin, touches that spoke of experience that Mike wasn’t sure he wanted to ask about. He pushed the thought as far back in his mind as it would go and focused on the wet heat engulfing him, thankful for the pressure of Rudy’s hands on his hips as he felt his knees begin to give out.

"Jesus," he gasped as Rudy began to suck harder, all the blood in his system rushing to the pit of his stomach as he lost control. Rudy swallowed around his length before he pulled back, gently letting Mike slip from his mouth to feather soft kisses along his abdomen. Mike leaned heavily against the wall, panting for breath as he waited for his muscles to stop quivering. By the time he finally forced his eyes open again Rudy was standing in front of him, dark eyes wandering over his frame as Rudy slid his own shirt off. "Remind me sometime to make you tell me where you learned to do that."

A smirk lit up Rudy’s features as he dropped his shirt on the floor and reached for his waistband. "You were gone a long time, Mike. Contrary to what you might think, life in Glory did go on without you."

"I’m sure it did," Mike said, closing the distance between them and pushing Rudy’s hands away from the waistband of his pants. He leaned forward and fused their lips together again, grinning against the other man’s mouth as he tasted himself on Rudy’s tongue.

"What are you laughing at?" Rudy asked when Mike’s mouth left his to travel down his neck.

"Nothing," Mike answered as he slid a hand inside Rudy’s boxers. "Just didn’t really expect tonight to go this well."

Rudy groaned and gripped Mike’s hips, backing them both toward his bedroom. "I’ll just take that as a compliment."

Mike grinned again and let Rudy push him down onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbows to watch the other man step out of the rest of his clothes. His cock twitched in appreciation as he took in the view, his eyebrows raised as he saw just how well Rudy had filled out over the years. "Someone’s been working out," he teased as Rudy crawled over him.

"It’s all the chasing murderers," Rudy murmured against Mike’s ear, his lips trailing over soft skin to close around an earlobe. "And now that you’re back I have to work overtime to keep you out of trouble."

"Aww, you do care," Mike said, an amused laugh escaping his throat when Rudy looked up sharply. His smile faded abruptly as he registered the look in the other man’s eyes, however, and he reached up and pulled Rudy forward for a hard kiss. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, after all he knew how he felt about his best friend so it wasn’t so surprising that Rudy might still feel the same way. Still, it made what was happening between them more intense somehow, and he swallowed against the lump in his throat and braced himself for the answer to the question he was about to ask. "Have you got any lube?"

For one shocked moment Rudy stilled, then he groaned and leaned over Mike, fumbling in the nightstand drawer with his free hand as he covered Mike’s mouth with his again. Finally he found the tube and the lone condom left in the drawer, pulling away from Mike long enough to tear open the package. Mike wasn’t sure whether to laugh at Rudy’s obvious frustration or cry at the sheer enormity of what they were about to do; how many times had he imagined this over the years? It wouldn’t be his first time and Rudy had obviously been keeping himself busy while Mike was out of town, but the fact that it was the two of them again after all this time made him almost as nervous as he had been that first night on the dock.

When he felt a slick finger brush the entrance to his body he forgot to be nervous, he couldn’t even breathe as he focused all his attention on that single sensation. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the feeling of Rudy’s lips moving against his as the other man quickly but carefully prepared him. If he’d been able to form words that remotely resembled English he might have told Rudy that he didn’t need to be so careful, but it all felt so amazing and he didn’t want to give up a second of sensation. When Rudy finally pulled his fingers away Mike practically choked on a sob of protest, but a moment later he felt the comforting weight of Rudy pressing him into the mattress.

A groan that was half pleasure, half frustration escaped Rudy’s throat as he slid slowly inside the other man, his whole body tense as he waited for Mike to give him permission to move. For a split second Mike considered torturing him, but then Rudy shifted his hips slightly and brushed across Mike’s prostate. His whole body jerked in response, and he gasped and thrust up to draw Rudy as deep as he could.

"Fuck," Rudy muttered, his eyes wide as he found himself suddenly buried inside the other man.

"That’s the idea," Mike answered, squeezing slightly for emphasis. "Move, Rudy. Please."

It was the way he said ‘please’ that did it, he knew Rudy well enough to know the look that passed over his features as Mike uttered the soft syllable. He bit back a grin and pulled Rudy down for a searing kiss as the other man pulled out and then slammed back into him again, meeting each thrust with a low groan from somewhere deep in his throat. Mike’s renewed erection ached painfully, and he reached between them to stroke himself in time to Rudy’s thrusts. He felt his second orgasm building, and the next time Rudy angled to scrape that spot deep inside him he came across his hand and their chests. Rudy moaned and thrust again, sending another shiver of pleasure through Mike as he hit his prostate again.

Mike gasped and clamped down hard on the other man, pulling Rudy as deep inside him as he could as he felt the body above him start to tremble. He wasn’t sure if he actually blacked out or if he just lost track of everything but the waves of boneless pleasure coursing through him, but the next thing he remembered was Rudy panting against his neck. Somehow he found the strength to reach up and rest one hand on the base of Rudy’s neck, his fingers trailing through sweat-dampened hair.

When Rudy finally caught his breath he slid off Mike, pushing himself off the mattress long enough to cross to the bathroom. Mike’s eyes fluttered closed as he listened to Rudy dispose of the condom and then run the water, and a minute later he felt a warm washcloth cleaning his chest. "Thanks," he murmured when Rudy finished and tossed the washcloth in the direction of the laundry basket. The mattress dipped under Rudy’s weight and Mike moved away from the center of the bed to make room for him, his hand resting against Rudy’s chest.

"So why’d you make me stupid?"

"What?" Mike asked, forcing himself back from the verge of sleep long enough to crack one eye open and look at Rudy.

"In your book, you made me so dumb. What was that about?"

Mike laughed and let his eyes fall closed again. "It wasn’t even you, Rudy. It was just a character I made up."

"But you said…"

"Yeah, I know, wishful thinking. Okay, so that night in my car gave me the idea to make the sheriff gay. And let’s face it, when it comes to love you are pretty clueless."

A derisive snort followed by silence let Mike know he’d won the point, and he smiled to himself and turned a little further into Rudy’s body heat. He was nearly asleep when the body against his shifted, and he let out a weary groan at the sound of Rudy’s voice. "Wait a second…did you just say…?"

"Yes, Rudy," Mike answered, smiling in spite of the fact that he was pretty sure Rudy was never going to let him go to sleep.

"Huh." A few more seconds of silence were followed by warm lips brushing his forehead. "I love you too, Mike."

"Good." He rolled over onto his side, sighing contentedly when he felt Rudy’s chest press into his back. So maybe it had taken them years and a bad novel to finally straighten things out, but he wasn’t about to complain. He was just grateful that Rudy had forgiven him for Glory Days. With any luck he’d see that the book had already paved the way for them as far as everyone in Glory was concerned, and that there were definitely worse things he could be than in love with his best friend.

The End