Title: A Night at Meg's

Authoress: The Huntress

Rating: NC17...for testosterone-laden shenanigans AKA M/M sex

Archive: KSA

Synopsis: A bunch of the boys go to Meg's for a good time...trying to avoid each other, they end up having an even better time then planned.
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Dee's Hooker Challenge (For Ksmithares)
Have all the guys go to Megs at the same time. You can have them run into each other or just miss each other. Think Marx brothers movie.
Must have:
1 Someone ask for something no one would ever think they would want.
2 Someone thinking they should be getting the hookers to pay them.
3 Someone afraid someone is going to see them there.

Huntress loves the Marx Brothers.
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Authors Note: In my version of the HTLJ universe, Alcmene and Strife are both alive and well. I like it that way.

Disclaimer: To Tartarus with the disclaimers. If anyone reading this thinks I own them, please go to your nearest psychiatrist's booth and ask for help. The Doctor Is In....5 cents please. Anyway enough with the bullshit and onto the story (and I hope it is enjoyed)....

A Night at Meg's

By The Huntress

Ares snuck in the back way, carefully looking around. Nobody saw him and he was glad. It wouldn't do his reputation any good if his worshippers found out he was going to Meg's to meet a 'friend'.

Iphicles was incognito. Dressed in shorts and a shirt borrowed from Deimos, (who lengthened them for the King), he was unrecognizable when he walked in. Sitting at the bar, he ordered a Strawberry Margaritus, sipping slowly, watching the women and men there. Decisions, decisions. So many asses to fuck, so little time. At least for now.

Hercules and Iolaus wandered in a few minutes later. It was obvious that the demigod didn't want to be here, as Iolaus was dragging him by the hand. Iphicles didn't notice them as he was too busy, his hands full of a serving wench's ass.

"Iolaus," Herc whispered. "That's Iph."

"Oh shit!" Iolaus grabbed Herc and dragged him into the kitchen. They peeked out. "What's he doing here?"

"How should I know?" Herc answered. "He's King of Corinth...he can fuck anybody he wants. I mean, the people here, they should pay him."

"They should pay me too..." Iolaus said with a grin. "...I'm Iolaus of Thebes."

"Well, 'Iolaus of Thebes', we are here to take a room for the night. Not so you can fuck everybody in this place."

"I know...just you Herc."

"Exactly. Now we just have to figure out how to get one without being seen." The demigod looked around the kitchen. "Iolaus, there's a back door. We leave." He headed towards it, but Iolaus pulled him back.

"Uh-uh Herc. This is the only place to get a room for leagues. Well, except for your mom's. And I don't feel like going there tonight. I'm not sleeping outside again, and you promised a room and a hot bath. I don't care who sees us." The hunter brazenly walked out into the main room and walked straight into Autolycus.

"Hiya blondie. What are you doing here? The big guy abandon you?" He grinned. "Maybe *we* can get a room...remember Thrace last month? You and me and the...."

"Thrace?" The demigod came out of the kitchen. "What happened in Thrace?"

"Nothing Herc. Me and Auto just hung around for a while that's all." The demigod glared at Iolaus. "Herc look...."

"Oh shit," Auto said. "It's Joxer." He ran into the kitchen, but Herc grabbed him.

"You're afraid of Joxer?"

"Not afraid," Autolycus said. "I just don't want him to see me here, that's all. I'm leaving through the back door."

The demigod held tighter. "But I want to find out about *you* and Joxer."

"If I tell you will you let me go?" Herc nodded. "Okay." Herc released his hold and the thief ran into the kitchen and out the back door.

"Auto and Joxer," Herc said with a smile. "Cute couple. Couple of what...I don't know. Now Iolaus, about Thrace...."

"Get me a room and I'll tell you." The hunter leered at his lover and Hercules blushed. "Never mind Herc. I'll get it. You can hide."

"Thanks Iolaus." The demigod turned, and swung open the kitchen door so quick, he hit the man on the other side. "I'm really sorry," Herc stammered. "I shouldn't have...." He got a look at the man. "Jason, what are *you* doing here?"

"Trying to avoid your mother. I *know* she wouldn't think of looking for me here. She wants a new well, a new roof, *and* she wants me to plant flowers." He turned and yelped. Alcmene had her fingers on his ear.

"Come along Jason...there's work to be done." Alcmene smiled at her son. "Hercules, what are you doing *here*? Did you and Iolaus have a fight?"

"No mother," the demigod sighed. "This was *his* idea. And what are *you* doing here?"

"Now dear, you can't keep blaming Iolaus for everything. You've been doing that for years. As for what I'm doing here, I thought of the one place Jason wouldn't expect me. Now if you'll excuse us...." She turned to leave with her husband in tow. Turning back, she said, "See you soon sweetheart?"

"Iolaus and I will be by tomorrow. We just wanted to stay here tonight and not disturb you."

She kissed him on the cheek. "I love you Hercules. Just don't bruise Iolaus too much."

He sighed. "I won't mother."

Whispering a silent 'Thank you for your help Zeus,' Alcmene took her husband home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hercules left the kitchen. 'Too much traffic in there,' he thought. He looked up, sensing something, and saw Hermes appear upstairs. 'What is *he* doing here?' He watched as Hermes was let into a room. He was shocked to see Jett letting him in. 'I know it's not Joxer...Joxer never looked so good in leather.' A tap on his shoulder and he saw Iolaus grinning at him.

"What, you didn't know about Jett and Hermes? I thought everybody knew. Oh, Jett got paroled from prison. He saved the warden's daughter during a prison riot."

"Nobody tells me anything. Auto and Joxer, Hermes and Jett, Iphicles and...well whoever he finds...unless Ares shows up." Herc made a face at Iolaus. "Is there anyone *else* I should know about Iolaus?"

"Let's see...you know about Xena and Gabrielle...did you know about Hector and Nebula?" Hercules shook his head, and Iolaus just shrugged. "I accidentally walked in on them while they were playing 'Pirate and Captive'. Orestes said he'd *never* seen Hector with a smile like *that*. Let's see...Deimos and Lila?"

"Lila...Gabrielle's sister?"

"Yeah. She works at Cyrene's inn. Gabrielle told me that he popped in looking for Xena, Lila told him he had nice knees, he blushed, and things just went on from there." The hunter thought for a moment. "Falafel and Discord?"

The demigod's eyes got wide, and his face changed colors. "*WHAT*?!" The thought of Falafel with *any* of his sisters, even *that* one, was not pleasant to him, and he looked for the nearest commode...just in case.

"Just kidding," Iolaus grinned. "Actually, she's been spotted with Salmoneus." Herc raised an eyebrow at him. "*Really*. They met at a festival last month. Artemis told me. Seems Discord has a thing for men with beards...and you gotta figure there's a reason why 'Dite calls him a studmuffin." The hunter grinned. "Damn Herc, you really don't know about anybody do you?"

Herc shook his head. He saw Joxer nearing and pulled Iolaus into a nearby closet.

"A closet Herc? Okay...it's cozy enough."

"Do you mind?" A voice said softly. "Some of us are busy in here."

"Ares?" Herc asked. Light illuminated the small room. It was Ares all right, but the God of Love. And he was with the Sovereign. It was also apparent that the God of Love had redecorated...the walls were pink and there was a bright red couch that Sov and Ares were sitting on. Ares smiled at the heroes. "No privacy on my world. So we came here. Meg's is the same all over."

The Sovereign suddenly stood, facing Hercules. Both demigods growled, both made fists, and both were ready to fight.

"Boys," Ares melodic voice said sweetly. "If you don't behave, I'll make you fall in love...with each other." He winked at Iolaus, who grinned.

The door opened and Iphicles backed in...straight into Hercules. He turned and shrugged. "Hi Herc...hi Iolaus," he said. "Hi Sov, hi Ares."

"*Sov*?!" Herc and Iolaus said in unison.

"Yeah...you told me to meet new people, so I did. You didn't say they *had* to be from this world."

Herc let it go, instead turning to Iolaus. "What happened in Thrace?"

"Nothing Herc, I told you."

"I heard about that," Iphicles said. "Him and Autolycus and...." Iphicles was cut off by a figure falling from the rafters. "ARES!"

The God of War landed on his feet, brushing himself off. "I was looking for you Iphicles. Why are you wearing my son's clothes?" He turned. "Ares. Sov." Another turn. "Iolaus." A pause. "Jercules."

Hercules smiled. "Mars," he sneered. Ares raised an eyebrow. "I was in Rome brother. Did you do know they're naming a candy after you?"

"It's because I'm sweet. Iolaus...I heard about Thrace. You really should be more careful."

"Will someone *please* tell me about Thrace?" Herc was at the point where he was begging.

"Oh tell him Iolaus," Sov said.

"*You* know about Thrace?" Herc asked.

"No, but your begging is starting to piss me off." Sov rose, the God of Love raised his hand, and Sov sat back down.

Hercules also backed away a bit. "Nobody tells me anything and I...." Herc was cut off by lips on his. Iphicles'. Iphicles kissed him deep and broke the kiss, giggling.

"When we were kids the only way to shut him up was to give him something to eat. Guess it still works." A soft moan and they turned.

Iolaus was on his knees in front of The Sovereign, and he glanced back at Hercules, his eyes asking a silent question. Hercules, his hormones rising from Iph's kiss, smiled at his lover, and Iolaus turned back, nuzzling Sov's crotch, while he pulled his boots off. The Sovereign stood, and Iolaus pushed him against the wall, his small hands deftly undoing the belts and codpiece. The pants were yanked down and the hunter toed off his own boots, shrugged off his vest, and dropped to his knees. He looked up at his lover's twin, his eyes black with lust, his tongue reaching out to lick the cock head. Large hands wrapped in Iolaus' hair and pulled his mouth down hard. "Nice mouth he's got Herc." His cock was buried in Iolaus' throat and he fucked the hunter's mouth viciously. The demigod watched, feeling his cock suddenly tight beneath his leather pants. Then his eyes were at his own crotch as he felt his pants vanish and felt lips on his cock.

"Ares...." His brother's lips were on the head, kissing, his tongue at the slit, licking, and Hercules braced his hands on Ares' shoulders so he wouldn't fall over. "That is good brother."

A flash and Strife popped in. He stared for a moment, then said, "Uncle Herc, Uncle Ares, I been looking all over for the two of you."

Hercules was moaning. "We're a bit...ohhh Ares...busy right now Strife...IPHICLES!" Iphicles had moved behind Herc and was reaming his ass, his tongue licking quick, while his fingers spread the demigod.

"But Uncle Herc, Salmoneus keeps bugging me to call him dad and I don't know what to do."

"So call him...*OH GODS*...dad...Iph that is so good." Iphicles had pushed a finger into Hercules, while his tongue continued to play.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Relax Strife," said the God of Love, walking over, and starting a slow massage of Strife's shoulders. "You're more tense then *my* Iolaus." Strife moaned as the God's talented fingers worked into his shoulders, and he leaned back, letting the God of Love relax him. "And I thought my Mighty Joxer was stiff. Strife, don't you ever relax?"

"Ares doesn't let me relax," Strife said. "He says that a number one's job is to do the work set out for him and nothing more."

"Sounds to me like he's a number two." The God of Love sighed. "Just chill out Strife. The mean God of War is busy right now..." He turned Strife around. "...but the good looking God of Love is here, and available for your viewing pleasure." With a thought, Ares was naked, and Strife nearly burst out of his pants right there.

"*Yowza*!" Strife whooped, his eyes moving to the Love God's cock. "Is *that* for *me*?"

"If you want it," Ares answered, with a big grin.

"Oh yeah!" Strife dropped to his knees, and looked into Ares' face. "Hot damn, it sure does pay to be me."

Taking Ares' cock in his hand, Strife grinned back. "I'll be gentle...at least I'll try to be." He stroked it for a moment, watching it grown beneath his touch, then moved his hands around to Ares' strong, muscular ass. His hands on the cheeks, he pulled the Love God's cock to his mouth, gently licking the slit, tasting the precum gathered there. A leer, and he swallowed Ares' length, taking it deeply, the scent causing him to grow dizzy. Ares' eyes went wide as he was taken, his hands in Strife's hair, pulling him closer.

"Damn you're good," he moaned, beginning a slow steady movement into Strife's mouth.

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Hercules, meanwhile, was in ecstasy. Ares' mouth on his cock, teasing while he licked the length, Iphicles' mouth reaming his ass, the king's fingers moving in tandem with his tongue, moving in and out, driving the demigod to the edge and back. Iphicles' eyes met Ares', and the War God pulled away, the demigod groaning from the loss.

"Please...more...."

"Take it easy Herc," Iphicles said soothingly. "Big brothers *always* take care of little brothers." His hands moved to Herc's shoulders and he eased his brother to the floor, laying him on his back. "That's it little brother...just relax." Ares was upon his brother before Herc knew what was happening, kissing him everywhere, moving down Herc's body. Iphicles knelt beside his brother, and he and Ares each took a nipple into their mouths, Ares nipping and sucking hard, Iph caressing with his tongue. Hercules reached out with his hands, taking both men by the hair and pushing them further down his body. He knew what he wanted, and so did his brothers, but they weren't going to give in so quick.

Iphicles gently took Herc's hand from his hair, kissing the palm, and placed it on his hardening shaft. Herc stroked slowly, feeling Iphicles' cock fill as he caressed it. Iphicles straddled Herc's chest, bringing his cock to Herc's mouth, rubbing it along his lips. "I want to fuck you Herc...but there's no oil available. Want to help me out?" Hercules' eyes met his brother's, and he reached around, taking Iphicles by the ass and pulling Iph's cock into his mouth. "Oh yeah," Iphicles sighed. "That'll work." He closed his eyes and let Hercules make love to his cock. He heard Herc's muffled moan, the vibration nearly causing him to cum, and he turned, opening his eyes. Ares' teeth and tongue were grazing the demigod's cock, while one hand had buried two fingers within him, and the other hand was caressing Herc's inner thighs, nails gently raking the sensitized skin. Iphicles raised himself above the demigod, stroking his cock in and out of Herc's mouth, Hercules licking and sucking deep, preparing Iph's cock for their pleasure.

Iphicles pulled back, stroking Herc's hair, looking into his eyes. "I'm going to fuck you now little brother. Would you like that?" A nod was all Herc could manage at the moment. Iph began to slide down Herc's body, rubbing his cock over Herc's nipples, which he pinched afterwards. "Get out of my way Ares." He met his lover's eyes and Ares moved, allowing Iphicles to kneel between Herc's legs. Two pair of brown eyes met, and it was Ares' turn to straddle Herc's chest. Facing Iphicles, the War God moved up and back until Herc's mouth could reach his cock. Leaning down, he took Herc's shaft into his mouth, while he spread the demigod's cheeks. Iphicles placed his cock at the tightness, and slowly eased in. This in turn caused Hercules to suck Ares' cock deep into his throat, and Ares to suck him harder, and spread him further. Hercules' hands moved to Ares' ass, and he spread his brother as his brother was doing to him, thrusting two fingers in, while his tongue played with Ares' cock. A *thud* and they lost the rhythm for a moment. They glanced over at the sound, then went back to their own pleasure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Iolaus had pulled Sovereign to the floor, turning him on his stomach. Gripping him by the hips, Iolaus urged him onto his hands and knees. Iolaus teased the demigod's ass, rubbing his cock along the crack. "I bet you like it rough." Iolaus didn't wait for a reply...he thrust in, his eyes growing darker as he heard Sovereign shout from the sudden entrance. The hunter's eyes were feral as he withdrew and plunged back in. "Just as tight as Herc...nothing like fucking a demigod's ass." One hand moved to Sov's ass, and Iolaus caressed the cheek, while his movements within became faster and more desperate.

*SMACK*! Iolaus' hand came down hard, followed by his nails raking the cheek. "Oh yeah," he moaned, his voice deeper then its usual tenor. "You like that."

*SMACK*! The Sovereign screamed, moving his hand to his own cock, only to have it pulled away. "NO! That's mine!" Iolaus' voice was a lusty growl as he gripped Sov's cock hard, stroking with his thrusts, milking him faster as his own completion came near. "Give me what I want...pull me deeper." Sov's muscles clenched tighter, pulling Iolaus as deeply as he could. Iolaus shifted a few times, knowing he hit the right place when Sovereign screamed, "YEAH...YEAH!" His cock continued to hit that same spot, pounding in hard, stroking fast. "NOW!"

And Sovereign came, his seed bathing Iolaus' hand, as the hunter kept stroking. He threw his head back, almost howling as his own release came, pumping his seed into the demigod, until there was nothing left. Gentling himself from the Sovereign, Iolaus allowed him to lay flat on his stomach, hearing the panting and moaning. But Iolaus was far from finished.

Kneeling between Sov's legs, he spread the muscular cheeks. Lowering his head, his tongue dipped in between said cheeks, taking his own seed back into himself, as Sov writhed beneath him, trying to push up. But Iolaus exerted all his strength on the exhausted demigod, who didn't stand a chance against him at this point. Finally finished with Sovereign, (but getting hard again), Iolaus allowed him to collapse. 'He definitely doesn't have Herc's stamina, that's for sure,' he thought, and turned his attentions to the God of Love and Strife.

Still on his hands and knees, he heard Sov's whispered voice in his ear. "You wanna watch them while I fuck you senseless?"

'Well, I was wrong,' Iolaus thought, feeling the hard cock brushing his leg. 'He *does* have Herc's stamina.' Aloud, his answer was short and sweet. "Oh yeah...." Iolaus felt two fingers entering him, and pushed against them, feeling them move deeper. He felt the large hand surrounding his cock, stroking it gently, as the fingers moved deeper still. "More...." he moaned softly.

"Not yet Iolaus," Sov whispered again. "Do you think I'd let you do what you just did without paying you back? No...you don't get me inside you until I'm ready. For now, why don't we watch my brother and Strife...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Strife was laying on the floor, his legs atop the Love God's shoulders, and Ares was teasing him unmercilessly.

"Do you want it?" Ares asked seductively, caressing his cock against Strife's tightness. "Should I give it to you?" Strife moaned and Ares grinned. "Yeah...why not...."

"Oh wow!" The young God screamed as he was impaled. "This is sooo coool! Yeah...just like that...oh yeah!" His movements were becoming more frantic as he thrust up at the Love God, and, just when he was at the edge, Ares stilled. "Yo! What are ya doin'? Are you nuts?!"

"Nuts?" Ares said, raising an eyebrow. "No, I don't think so." He leered and Strife growled at him. "Now, now Strife. Be a good little Godling and maybe I'll fuck you some more." Strife had about a thousand retorts, but kept them to himself. "Now where was I?"

That was enough for the young God. "Okay! No more *Mister Nice-God*!" Strife yelled. He pushed Ares out of him and flipped them so Ares was beneath him. "Now...let's do some fucking...."

His cock was sheathed within Ares and he began to fuck the God with such intensity that Ares eyes got wide. "Where did you...."

"Watching Uncle Ares," Strife answered, as his thrusts came even faster. His hand moving to Ares' cock, he stroked along with his thrusts, the sound of Ares' moans sweet to his ears. "Oh...oh yeah...OH GODS YES!" A shout, and he felt Ares seed on his hand. One last push, and his semen was bathing the God.

Ares collapsed on the floor, Strife atop him. "Ohhh, that was great," Strife whispered in his ear. He glanced up. "Check them out...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Iphicles was on his back, while Herc fucked him hard, his eyes riveted on his cock, sliding in and out. The God of War was behind him, fucking the demigod, and the three were moving in tandem, pleasuring each other, lost to themselves.

"Herc...." Iphicles' voice, soft and wanting, pushing up at this brother, wanting to be filled more by that magnificent cock. Hercules began to move faster, nearly throwing Ares off of him, his pace feral, his eyes mad with desire.

"What do you want Iph?" He asked, his voice low and deep. "You wanna be fucked harder? My cock deeper? Is that what you want?"

"He wants what *you* want," Ares growled. "To be taken...possessed." His cock hit Herc's prostate and the demigod moaned, arching his body and pulling Ares deep within him. This motion pulled him out of Iphicles, and when Ares thrust forward, he drove Hercules deep into the King, whose eyes snapped open, meeting his brothers'. He leered at Herc, his fingers reaching up to grasp Herc's nipples, teasing them lightly, his climax coming closer as he watched Herc's face.

The demigod's eyes were closed, his tongue snaking out to lick his lips, followed by his teeth biting the lower lip until it bled. Herc was drawing this out...not allowing his orgasm to come yet. He wrapped his hand around Iphicles' cock, stroking gently, unlike his movements within. Then Ares' hands stroking up his abdomen, to join Iphicles' in torturing his nipples, brought him to the edge. He clenched his ass drawing Ares in even deeper, stroking Iphicles hard now, and opened his eyes. Looking into Iph's eyes, he whispered, "Cum for me..." Then, turning to Ares. "...Cum in me...."

"Yesss," Iphicles whispered. "Just for you...." He moaned, his seed spurting from his cock, as Hercules dipped his head to catch some on his tongue, tasting of his brother. Ares' hands suddenly scratching down his back, and the sensation, followed by the warmth of Ares seed filling him, caused him to cum within Iphicles, whose face had contorted into a mask of pure and total lust.

After quite a few moments of panting, Herc looked at Iphicles, smiling. "I should've fucked you years ago."

"Yeah," Iph answered, with a grin. "But better late then never."

Herc turned to Ares. "You always were a good lay."

Ares leered at him. "So were you."

They separated, albeit reluctantly, and Herc turned to watch his lover with The Sovereign.

Iolaus was astride Sov's lap, and Sov was lifting him up and down his cock. By the look on Iolaus' face, Hercules could tell that Sovereign was hitting his pleasure spot on each thrust. He couldn't help moving over to them, and kneeling beside his lover. Iolaus' eyes were closed, but opened when he felt the lips on his and the hands in his hair, felt his lover's tongue deep within his mouth, smelled the scent of *his* Hercules. Sovereign increased his pace, and Iolaus moaned into Herc's mouth. Hercules just kissed Iolaus harder, one hand moving to Iolaus' cock, slowly stroking from base to tip, running a finger through the precum gathered in the slit, and bringing it to their mouths. Herc broke the kiss, lightly running his finger over Iolaus' lips, then licking said lips oh so gently, causing the hunter to pull their mouths together again. Herc's hand returned to caressing his cock, while his other hand moved to Iolaus' chest, teasing first one, then the other nipple hard, then breaking the kiss, and moving his mouth over a nipple, his teeth nipping, driving Iolaus mad with his touches.

The sensations finally became too much for the blonde, who screamed, "YES! YES! YES!" his cum spilling into Herc's hand, and over Sovereign's chest.

Hercules watched as Sov's hands gripped Iolaus around the waist, his motions faster, impaling the hunter with vicious movements. He pulled Iolaus into a deep kiss, hearing Sovereign shout, "SUCH A GOOD FUCK!" and his seed was filling Iolaus. He continued to thrust into Iolaus, until he was dry, then lifted the hunter off his cock, pulling him atop his body. "Such a very good fuck...."

"He is, isn't he," Herc murmured, pulling Iolaus into his arms. He kissed his lover hard, then glanced around. "Well, this has been an interesting evening. But I need a room...and a hot bath." He smiled at Iolaus. "Care to join me love?"

"Gotta get cleaned up and dressed Herc," Iolaus said, smiling back.

"Yeah," Sov growled. "I got a few wars that need tending...gotta get home. Now, where are my pants?" He groped around, grabbing the leathers, and started to pull them on. "These aren't mine." He tossed the pants to Iolaus. "They're yours."

"Where's my vest?" The God of War asked. "Oh...here it is." He put it on, then glanced down, a horrible look on his face. "This is *yours!" He snapped at the God of Love. "I *hate* white!"

"That's *mine*," Iph said, snatching his breechclout from Strife.

"Yeah," Strife laughed. "But it smells sooo good."

"Can I have *my* shirt?" Hercules asked the God of Love.

"As soon as I finish wiping my cum on it," Ares answered.

"WHAT!"

Hercules lunged at the God, Iolaus moved to stop him, Ares reached out to pull Iphicles out of the way, Strife ducked, and Sovereign jumped into it....

And that's when Joxer opened the door.

The seven came tumbling out of the small closet, all naked, all sweaty, and all with the distinct odor of *men*.

"Excuse me," Joxer said quietly, looking down at the men. "But do any of you happen to have a phallus?"

"It's okay Joxer," came Xena's voice. "Me and Gabrielle got one. Now come on...we've got Autolycus tied to the bed for you."

"Thanks Xena." Joxer looked back. "Thanks anyway guys."

The men stood, *all* turning red, and both Ares' looked at each other, and with a thought, all of them were cleaned and clothed.

"Now Iphicles, we *have* to have a chat about your...kinky side." The War God stated. He blew a kiss to Herc and vanished with his lover.

"It was rad Ares," Strife cackled. "But I gotta go find Mom and Sal...maybe it won't be so bad calling him dad...could be worse. She could have fallen for Falafel." He too vanished.

"I wanna go home!" Sovereign growled at his brother. He leered at Iolaus. "It was nice blondie. Maybe you'll come to my world and I can show you my collection of whips."

"Sounds like fun," Herc giggled. "I'll let ya know."

The vortex appeared, and the two went back to their world.

Iolaus stared at Hercules. "You wouldn't *really* take me there Herc, would you?"

"Not if you behave yourself Iolaus," Herc laughed. "Now...I believe we came in here to get a room...."

THE END

Further Disclaimers:

Iphicles spent a week standing up at his meetings...and no one knows why.

Ares GOW spent a few days soaking his hand in ice.

Strife decided to call Salmoneus 'dad' and they have opened the first appliance shop in Greece...and have perfected the art of 'Bait and Switch'.

Ares GOL found a new playmate...in Joxer the Mighty, who brought Autolycus along to share in the fun.

Sovereign found some time to play with Xena and Gabrielle...and learned a few things in the process.

As for Herc and Iolaus....

Iolaus still refused to tell Herc what happened with Autolycus in Thrace. They went to Alcmene's the next day, and Alcmene was pissed that the hunter couldn't sit without pain. She cut a switch, and now Hercules can't sit either.

END