Needs
by Wonko

I watched her tonight as the light of a dying fire played accross her regal amazonian features. Angelic, strawberry-blonde tresses shone like spun gold. Her eyes were closed but I know those sea-green pools so well that I could never forget their quiet strength and beauty.

Gabrielle

To know her is to love her and to love her is sweeter than life itself. And I do love her, I know that now. It amazes me to think that I was blind to that fact until tonight. Now it seems so clear. My love for her is so powerful, so overwhelming, that I feel it must have been obvious to anyone who cared to look. When did her presence with me become as vital as the air I breath? When did she change from being the silly little farm-girl who depended on me so thoroughly to being the strong, compassionate, beautiful young woman who has captured this old warrior’s heart?

How could I have been so blind? Tonight as I watched her it all seemed crystal clear. I love her. Three words, small words, taking so little time to say, and meaning so much. To say, ‘I love you,’ carries so much more with it. It says, ‘I want to be with you,’ ‘I care more about you than I do myself,’...‘I need you...’ And that’s the scary one, for me anyway. Need. For so long I’ve stopped myself from needing anyone or anything. Could I control my fear long enough to tell Gabrielle how I felt?

I wasn’t sure but I felt that if I was just a little closer to her I might find the courage I lacked. I don’t really know what I intended to do when I reached her but I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything but being close to her. I knelt down beside her and slowly touched my fingers against her cheek. Then I gently stroked her hair, enjoying its softer-than-soft texture and loving it as much as I love everything else about Gabrielle, my sweet beautiful bard. I felt my courage building and a whisper that seemed to originate from the depths of my soul escaped from my parted lips. “I love you...”

And then she opened her eyes.

Time seemed to stand still as green burned into blue. She did not speak, did not need to speak. Her eyes told me much more than mere words ever could. With a gentle grace and confidence I didn’t know she possesed, Gabrielle opened her arms to me. And for once I did not hesitate.

Gabrielle sighed softly and happily as I touched my lips to hers. Her arms wrapped tightly around my body, preventing me from moving, allowing me to feel my love’s warm body against my own, the synchronised beating of our hearts, the way Gabrielle moved softly in my arms. My hand shook as I ran it through her hair, suddenly feeling small and inadaquate next to this beautiful young woman’s quiet perfection. As if sensing my loss of confidence, Gabrielle moved her lips to my ear and whispered, “I love you, Xena.”

Pulling back I gazed deeply into her soft green eyes, seing the truth of her words displayed there, and my own needs and desires perfectly mirrored.

We made love then, slowly, softly, gently. And I realised fully how much this woman meant to me as I gave her all of myself and she returned the gift.

To need someone isn’t so scary. After all, this need I have for Gabrielle allows me to love her, today, tomorrow, and every day until I draw my final breath and beyond.


The End