Title: Stranger Still

Author: Scribe

Fandom: Xena

Pairing: Various, probably, through the story, but none right now.

Rating: NC17

Summary: Apollo summons Scribe (and others) to meet the fates. Something is afoot

Archive: Yes, if you like, but tell me where, so I can visit it, or recommend it.

Status: WIP

Sequel/Series: Sequel to Stranger in a Strange Land

Disclaimer: I did not create the media based characters here, I don't own them. I derive no profit
from this effort. I mean nothing but respect for the creators, owners, and the actors and actresses who portray them. Only Scribe and a few minor characters are completely mine.

Warnings: Probably graphic sex, of both the het and slash varieties.

Notes: Stranger in a Strange Land began as nothing more than a little personal fantasy. For some ungodly reason I posted the first section to a few lists. The response was so encouraging that it became a chapter story, and I had so much fun with it, it should be illegal. Then some durn fool had to go and suggest a sequel...

More notes: **This was part of a forwarded humorous list of what 'Ladies' do, as opposed to how 'Real Women' respond to the same situation. ***I lifted this joke from Will and Grace. Credit where credit is due.

Formatting: //this is material written by Scribe//

Extra Warning: In this story you get large doses of both Strifespeak and Jaycejargon. It nearly gave my spellcheck a nervous breakdown. Deal with it. Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos

Stranger Still
By Scribe

//Heracles and Jamison, breathless and sweat slick, parted. They lay beside each other, staring up at the fast lightening sky, letting the dewy grass cool their damp, heated skin. They were silent for a long moment, then Heracles spoke, breaking the stillness. "Was it good for you, too?"//

Strife, who was peering over my shoulder as I wrote, made a face. "Not up ta yer usual level of sparklin dialogue."

"Strife, look who's talking in this piece." He thought a moment, then snickered. "Right.
Considering the character, I can't give him smooth lines."

"Okay, I got tha Heracles bit. Who's Jamison? He IS someone, right?"

"If by that you mean he's 'based' on an actual person--I don't know how I should answer that,
considering the fact that I'm STILL not entirely sure that my life here is 'real'. But you ought to know. Remember that the Jamison character is captain of a ship called the Barko, and he's just returned from the Quest for the Silver Hide."

Strife blinked, then grinned. "Yer a bad, bad girl, Scribe." I polished my nails on my tunic. He
laughed. "Damn, I like that in a woman."

I blew gently on the scroll, to help the ink dry. "Strife, when are you going to get around to snagging me a few ballpoint pens or markers from the Halls of Time?" I examined my ink-smudged fingers. "This sucks big time."

He plopped into a chair, casually slouching, with one leg slung over an arm--a pose he'd no doubt learned from Ares. "I been banned fah tha next coupla decades. How tha Tartarus was I s'posed ta know tha Muses would take that book on Feminism seriously?" He slumped a little more. "An' how was I s'posed ta know that Zeus would actually listen ta Apollo bitchin about his regulah nookie source bein cut off? Just my luck he'd been blown off by his latest sweetie an' was feelin sympathetic."

I sighed. "I guess a laptop would be out of the question, then. Oh, well... It isn't as if I'd have
anywhere to plug it in, anyway. It's just that writing longhand is tiring enough, never mind having
to use a quill pen."

There was a discreet tap at the door of my study, and I called, "C'mon in--we're all decent here."

Strife stuck out his tongue at me. "Speak fah yaself."

The door opened, and a steady stream of cats began to pour into the room. I instantly snatched up my most recent scroll before it became paw-printed. As I held it up, the flow of cats diminished, and Germanicus, my chief priest slipped in. He bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry, Lady Scribe, but..."

"It's cool, Germanicus." I examined the scroll, noted that all the ink was dry, and rolled it up, then
stowed it in a cabinet. "I know cats. It isn't as if having them sneak into a room surprises me. Wassup?"

"Lord Apollo craves an audience."

Strife gaped. "Scribe, you got Mistah Shiny ASKIN ta come in?"

"He 'accidentally' popped in on me in the bathtub once too often and I made him eat a handful of soap. He blew bubbles for two days." I smiled. "Fond memories of Lawrence Welk when I was a child. Since then he's been observing the rules of a good visitor. Okay, Germanicus--he can come in."

Germanicus bowed again, turned, and left. Strife was giggling. I watched indulgently as the giggles increased till he fell out of the chair and rolled on the floor, holding his sides. Apollo entered, giving me his usual cheesy grin. Strife had been winding down, but when he saw Apollo he started howling again. Apollo sighed, smile fading. "You told him about the bubbles."

"I didn't mention about what the Muses told me happened when you farted."

That set Strife off again. I had to dodge to avoid being knocked over when he rolled around, but I had a lot of experience, what with all the cats. When he could speak again he said, "Whoo, tha girls are gonna catch it from me fah not gettin that in a scryin mirrah."

"Watch it, Fishbelly, or I'll PARK the chariot over you. We'll see how Cupid likes his meat well done," snapped Apollo.

"Will you two boys stop pissing all over my room? Hi, 'pol. Business, or just visiting?"

He looked worried, which, in turn, worried me. Apollo was one of the original good time guys. That cruddy 'oh-my-God-it's-stuck-in-my-mind-let-me-cut-my-throat' song--Don't Worry, Be Happy--might have been written for him. "Wish I could say it was just to bask in your presence, or pick up a couple of juicy bits of fiction, but it's business. Strife, it concerns you, too." *pause* "I THINK. You'd better come along, just in case."

Not good. Not good at all. "Come where?"

"The cave of the Fates."

I winced. "Double doo-hockey. I don't want to see those wacked-out wenches. Can't you just tell me what's up?"

He shook his head. "Afraid not. I'll drop you off there, then I need to go pick up a couple of other
people. Come one."

Perhaps you're wondering why I didn't just zap myself over to the cave? Remember my reactions to transporting before I became a goddess? Well, they hadn't changed much. About seven times out of ten I ended up urping. Every now and then I got seriously disoriented and had to sit down. I tried REAL hard not to transport anywhere alone. Everyone told me I'd get used to it eventually. Yeah, and that's what they told me when I tried to cut salt out of my diet, too. I never knew there were so many shameless liars.

I stepped up to Apollo, and he reached for me. "Be very careful where those hands land, unless you want a story circulating about you not being able to shift beneath the sheets."

He looked hurt. "Scribe! Would I take advantage of your problem to grope you?"

"In a New York minute."

"Huh?"

"Quicker than Hermes on a sugar rush."

He sighed. "You know me so well." His hands settled decoriously at the small of my back. And made little circles. Hey, I guess I can't ask the guy to completely deny his nature. It would be like showing Strife a mudpuddle and expecting him NOT to trip Gabrielle into it. Besides, it felt pretty nice. With his gig as head of the medical branch of the Pantheon, he KNEW from massage. *cough* Or so the Muses told me.

*FLASH*

No, Apollo did not lift his toga and give me a peek. Not that he hadn't before. Not that I hadn't looked, either. Hey, you live around a bunch of gods and goddesses, you begin to learn to take unexpected nudity in stride. And it makes for some nice scenery occasionally.

Where was I? Oh, yeah--flash. That was us transporting into the cave of the Fates.

The second we materialized in the low ceinlinged, cramped cavern, Apollo materialized a chair and eased me into it. "Do I need to get a basin?"

"What's my complexion look like? Any green?"

He studied me. "Nope. Nice, healthy pink and cream." He pinched my cheek. "You're just so cute!"

I slapped his hand. "Stop that. The only people I've ever allowed to do that were maiden aunts, and I didn't have many of those--we're a prolific family. What now?"

He looked around. "Strife!"

*FLASH*

I was going to have a headache by the time everyone arrived. Cupid and Strife appeared together, and Apollo frowned at them. "Only Strife was called."

Strife said, "If ya think I'm gonna deal with tha Fates without backup, then all that sunshine has fried yer brain."

Apollo shrugged. "Very well. I have the feeling that we'll need all the help we can get on this one. I'll be right back." He flashed out. I materialized a cut lime and rubbed it on my forehead.** For some reason I had a feeling that might help with the headache. Utter rubbish, of course, but it made me smell nice, and I was prepared if anyone showed up with a bottle of tequila and some salt.

Cupid materialized a nice, plush love seat (scarlet, natch), sat, and pulled Strife down on his lap,
beginning to nuzzle his neck. *sigh* I love those guys--always good for a little tittilation. I glanced around and said, "Okay, this is the cave of the Fates. Where are they?"

"Actually," said Strife, "this is sorta an ante-cavern. Ya know, where people comin ta consult
them cool their heels till tha Daffy Dames of Destiny are ready for 'em."

"Terrific. I become a goddess, and I'm still stuck in waiting rooms. And they don't even have the two year old copies of People, Good Housekeeping, and Professional Tennis to read."

Cupid looked at me. "Since when do you read tennis magazines?"

"Since I realized that the men wear shorts all year round."

***

*FLASH*

"Honey, hyu just GOT to tell me how hyu do that! I hwant those special effect een my show."

I blinked. "Jayce?"

The blonde Joxer clone whirled, then clapped his hands and squealed. "Scribey!" He came over and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then he slapped me playfully on the shoulder. "So, hwhen am hi going to have good news about chu and a certain someone?" I could feel myself starting to blush.

Apollo said, "Speaking of Jett..."

*FLASH*

"Oh, Tartarus. Jayce, we're not that involved. We're just dating: a few picnics, a few festivals..." Jayce winked at me. "Okay--an orgy or two--but it's nothing SERIOUS."

He put a hand on his hip. "Chu tell heem that, chica. Hey, he's my brother, but I hyam no fool. I'm not going to tell the King of Assassins that hees chosen paramour doesn't take him seriously. Now, then, how about getting me a chair, and do hyou have any mineral water to put that lime in?" He smoothed a hand down his waist. "Hi have to hwatch my figure, or no one else will."

*FLASH*

When the lights quit dancing before my eyes, Joxer and Ares were standing in the middle of the room, close together. They hadn't been married all that long, and they were still in the 'I hate having you out of my sight' stage. Jayce gave Joxer a... um... er... Well, it was sort of a version of the 'slap your back, grab your ass, damn, I haven't seen you in ages' bit. With Jayce it looked more like Joxer was getting a full body, upright massage. Ares gave him a smoldering look, his mouth barely moving, soundless. I've developed a teeny bit of a talent for lipreading, and... What? No, I did NOT learn it simply to eavesdrop! The very idea. Especially when I can use hidden scrying mirrors for that. Anyway, Ares was mouthing, "He's his brother. He's his brother. It
doesn't mean anything. No disemboweling--it would upset Joxer." It was plain that Joxer was having a mellowing effect on Ares.

I waved at them. "Heya, boys."

Joxer loped over and hugged me, then he shook his finger at me. "I heard that you're writing scurrilous stories about Hercules and Gabrielle."

"Good heavens, Joxer, not at the same TIME! My squick factor may be high, but it DOES exist."

He materialized a chair and sat beside me. "Do you have any idea what this is all about? Apollo just flashed in, told us to hie it here, then flashed out. That seems more in character with Hermes, and it has Ares and I curious."

"Join the club."

*Flash*

Apollo stepped away from the mortal he'd been holding on to--a pretty normal reaction, considering that said mortal had an impressive body count, and had been unofficially voted 'Person Most Likely To Be Able To Get His Hands On Hind's Blood'. Jett casually brushed down his leathers, spotted me, and gave a slow smile.

*tingletingle*

Okay, I'll admit it--he's sexy as hell. What can I say? I think it's hardwired into most women to be
attracted to bad boys, and Jett is one of the baddest ones around. However, he'd also shown me a
surprisingly sweet side. Of course, he sometimes made me swear never to tell anyone about his more tender moments. For instance, I am never to mention the plush stuffed cat, with the rhinestone collar and... Oops. Hopefully he'll be in a good mood when he eventually reads this.

He flowed over to me and dropped smoothly to his knees, then bowed and touched his head to my own knees. "Oh, Goddess Scribe, I worship at your feet."

"My feet aren't where you are heading." I pushed him back before he could start rooting in my lap.

He just grinned. "Feisty as ever." He turned his attention to Joxer. "Bro!" He jumped up, put Joxer
in a headlock, and proceeded to give him noogies. I was a little worried that Ares might tear him limb from limb, but he just watch. I think he realized it was a family thing. Heck, he probably did the same thing to Apollo.

Jett greeted Jayce next. "Hi, kiddo, how's your love life?"

Jayce arched an eyebrow. "Hand hwhy would it be hanytheeng less than sparkling?"

He pinched Jayce's cheek (I snickered seeing him on the receiving end). "Just kidding, Twinkles. I'm curious as to why the Solar Chariot Roller hauled me up here." He cast me a smirk. "Not that I'm not happy to see my main squeeze."

I rolled my eyes. "The tube of toothpaste has a question. Is this all of us, and if it is, WHY THE
TARTARUS ARE WE HERE?! And when did it start to feel natural for me to say Tartarus instead of hell?"

"Almost, but our last involved can get here under their own power."

*PINKFLASH* *REDFLASH*

"Hi, sweeties!"

"What the fuck is so important?"

"Hi, Aphrodite. Hi, Eris," I said. "Is this it, 'pol? Can we talk to the Tilted Trio and get this over with?"

Apollo counted heads. "Um, well, we ARE missing a couple, but I sent Hermes for them, and they should be here shortly. Let's go on in and get this party started. They'll be here soon, and we can get them up to speed later."

I should have been suspicious. I SHOULD have. I'd had enough examples of Olympian dodging by then.

We all got up and started to shuffle back toward the hole that lead deeper into whatever part of the earth we were currently under. "Thank goodness were getting out of here. It was starting to get awful stuffy, and I'll appreciate some more..." We entered the 'main room', which was about half the size of the 'antechamber'. "Crap. I can go for cozy, but this..."

Strife looped an arm around my shoulders, pulling a face of false commiseration. "Claustrophobia?" he said hopefully.

I slapped his chest, making various shiny ornaments jingle. "Not really. I lived in a forty-foot travel trailer for four years. It's just that this is UNDERGROUND. I may be immortal now, but this is just too damn close to being buried for comfort." He snickered, and I found myself wrapped in a white sheet and holding a lily. I used it to bonk him over the head.

Jett looped an arm around me from the other side. "Want me to kill him, sweetie?"

"He's immortal and a god--you can't kill him?"

"Wanna bet?" He got stares. "Just kidding--can't kill him. Want me to try real hard?"

I looked at Joxer. "You know, I never used to hang around with psychopaths till I came here. Lunatics, yes--psychopaths, no."

*ahem* *ahem* *ahem*

The Fates had stopped working on the Tapestry of Life (and don't get me started on how something so huge could fit into that cramped room--I've learned that time and space can do some pretty odd things). They were all watching us with expressions that worried me. Last time I'd seen them was at my ascention into minor godhood, and they'd all been smug and gleeful. They looked solemn and worried. Not a good sign.

Apollo approached them. "Greetings, ladies. I have summoned all that you spoke of. Please speak to them the prophecy." The three women exchanged glances, then began to speak.

"Though brave souls fight and sacrifice,
Evil never truly dies.
It may abate, it may retreat,
It may transmogrify.
Though its plans
Were once denied,
It has just flown,
It hasn't died.
Nine must journey to a place
Far away in time and space."

Atropos grimaced. "Actually, the number is eleven, but that didn't scan right, so you'll just have to
remember the right number."

I snorted. "Suddenly they're concerned about metre. Well," I said brightly. "That was vague, even for you gals."

Clotho said, "That's not all of it."

I sighed. "Of course it isn't. Say on."

"Blood of three passed through the years
lives again in other three.
Charmed they are, but still one dies,
Victim of the Evil freed.
One then joins
But can't replace.
If unchanged,
A chilling waste.
Darkness will be fought by four,
Or Evil will reign evermore."

They fell silent, looking at us expectantly. I sighed. "Okay, one more time--why can't these
predictions be stated in simple, easy to understand terms."

Strife grinned. "Because that would make life too simple."

"I knew there was a good reason." I looked around at the gathered group, counting heads. "Me, the triplets, Ares, Dite, Eris, Cupid, Strife, and Apollo. I thought they said nine." I slapped my forehead. "Wait--didn't scan--eleven. But with you, 'pol, that leaves us with ten--still the wrong number."

He cleared his throat. "I'm not going."

"The hell you say! You drag me into... Wait a minute--I used 'hell'." *thoughtful pause* "I'm too
agitated to think about that right now. Look, I can go for nine. Nine should be able to handle everything but a full scale army, and with Ares, Strife, Eris, and Jett, even that might be possible. After all, I think the Fellowship of the Ring had nine to start out, and..." I trailed off. "Oo, bad analogy. At least one of 'em bites it, and I'm sure that thing Gandalf went through was pretty painful, and..." Strife slapped me on the back of the head. Jett started to reach for him, but I grabbed his arm. "No, it's okay. I've asked him to snap me out of it when I start babbling. Thanks, Strife. Anyway, I guess this could be a pretty efficient band for just about anything." I shook a finger at Jett. "And we ought to get along pretty well, so..."

*FLASH*

Three people appeared. Hermes was rubbing a lump on his head, and said, "You owe me BIG TIME, Apollo!"

*FLASH*

"This is an outrage! We were peacefully minding our own business, bothering no one, and then we're just SNATCHED! I'll have you know that I was right in the middle of preparing for a poetry competition, and if I don't get back RIGHT NOW I'm going to lose my train of thought, and..." Gabrielle's voice combined the finer qualities of harpy squawks and fingernails-on-a-chalkboard.

Everyone in the cave was either wincing or scowling. Xena was doing both. I materialized a large glass and started chugging the pinkish contents. Ares said, "If that's ambrosia laced, I could use some of it. I'm going to need strength to resist strangling her in the next thirty seconds."

I materialized drinks for everyone except Gabby, and said, "Not exactly ambrosia, but I have occasionally found it close. It's a Mai Tai, triple strength. Drink up, folks. I have a feeling that alcohol will be a necessity to retain sanity in the next couple of hours.

end part 1