Wedded Bliss?

by Shamenka and Jan, Mistress of Pain

The on-going saga of a marriage "made-in-heaven'?

NC-17 - most assuredly, not to be taken too seriously - naturally.

So welcome one and all to the forthcoming nuptials of a God, a demigod and two mortals .... will Olympus survive? We are exactly one week before the big day...as in...


Wedded Bliss?
by Shamenka and Jan, Mistress of Pain

Ares, the somewhat bored God of War, was sitting alone in his temple. He couldn't raise the interest to do anything, hadn't felt the thrill of war in months. He was just trying to be patient and wait for the inevitable demise of that brother of his. The annoying half-mortal one. Perhaps if he tried hard enough he might even learn to enjoy doing nothing. Slim chance, but, still a chance none the less.

Into his quiet reverie came chaos, in the shape of that same brother. Life just never seemed to go Ares' way. Now what? As Hercules entered the temple, Ares wandered over to meet his brother half way.

"What is it now?" He sneered at the mortal sibling their father seemed to prefer over him. "Can't you see I'm busy?" Oh, he knew Hercules had seen him sitting there, doing nothing. And he knew that being second place to doing nothing would infuriate his brother. He was right!

"All I want from you is to stop this feud!" Hercules prodded his Godly brother in the chest, punctuating his demand with each strike against Ares' person.

"What feud? Look, I really don't care what you want, nor do I particularly want to find out. But, I'll say this just once so you'd better listen. Get out of my temple until you learn some manners, and stop pushing me." Ares let lose with his full power and pushed back. Hard!

Hercules flew through the air and smashed into a wall with such force he shook years worth of dust free. Shaking his head he stood up and snarled right back at his older brother.

"You know perfectly well what feud. The feud that's brewing between Doriskos and Ainos. The cities are gearing up for a stupid war about fishing grounds. You started this war just as you start all wars..." Hercules trailed off as he realized the high pitched sound he could hear was his brother's near hysterical laughter. "What's so funny, Ares?" Hands on hips, the now confused hero waited his brother's no doubt gleeful explanation.

"You are! You are such a pompous ass! I do not start every war. I only start the important ones. The ones father directs me to start, and a few others as side action. But this, this fish war is all mortal. You'll find the root cause in someone's pocket no doubt." Ares' laugh was rapidly getting on Hercules' nerves. He sounded like a cross between a hyena and a mule. So he told him so.

"I'm so glad you think the deaths of hundreds of men, women and children the cause of such amusement. You sound like the bastard offspring of a hyena and a mule."

"Never, little brother. You really are stupid aren't you? Mules are sterile. I could turn you into a mule. Save the world from your inherited stupidity. Anyway, who's the bastard here?" The God of War turned his back on his mortal brother and started to walk away.

"Oh, no! I'm not finished with you!" Hercules clenched his brother's shoulder tightly and forced him to turn around. He began to shake him, vigorously.

"Unhand me!" The dark God's voice sounded darker still. He gripped his half-mortal brother's wrist and started to squeeze. Tight.

Hercules winced at the pain. The angle and pressure were forcing him to his knees and that was just not a position he was willing to take with Ares. Never on his knees!

"Let me go!" He demanded. Punching Ares in the stomach he surprised him more than hurt him. Ares let him go.

"Why you..." Ares' retort was cut short by a blinding flash and a deafening clash of thunder as their father, Zeus, turned up to adjudicate once more.

"Enough!" His raised his voice gaining him instant obedience. But only for a moment. Hercules started to whine. Zeus knew this was really all his fault. He ought to have never become involved with Hercules; should have left him in ignorance of his birth. Now it was time he dealt with things, once and for all.

"I said enough!" He struck Hercules and dropped him to the temple floor. Ares had seen their father in more rages than Hercules. It would do his 'brother' good to realized he couldn't count on always being Zeus' favorite. Ares knew this from very bitter personal experience.

Finally they both stood silent before the King of the Gods.

"I'm sick and tired of your continuous squabbling, and before you interrupt Hercules, be quiet and listen for once! Your brother does not start every war in the world. Mortals start way more than he could ever get around to. You are an ungrateful, squabbling bunch of argumentative... ahh. what's the use in talking to you. And as for you, Ares, you should be doing your job, not sitting here waiting for your brother to die. Amongst other things, you will sort out this feud business. I know it wasn't your doing but it is part of your job, so do it." The King of the Gods cast his mind about for a solution to his problem with his sons, and could only think that they sounded like Hera and him when they were fighting. That gave him an idea.

He should have listened to the small part of his mind that was whispering, 'not a good idea', but he didn't.

"I think it's time you both settled down and were married." He heard their indrawn breaths and realized why they were confused. "Not to each other. I'm not that crazy. No, to other people. The first two people to come through that temple door. Ares gets the first, and you, Hercules, get the second!" He felt proud of his solution and decidedly uneasy too. He was the King of the Gods. He could do no wrong.

The door to the temple opened and closed and the first victim of Zeus' dictate entered, not that this broke the King of the Gods train of thought.

"You will be wed for one year. You will be loving and caring to your partner, whom ever it is. You will be given the full Olympian marriage ceremony - witnesses and all. The two of you and your spouses will share a temple on Olympus for a year. There will be no killing them or doing any harm to them before, during or after the year is up! Do I make myself clear on this, Ares?"

The God of War was now sitting on his throne with his head in his hands, groaning. Hercules was laughing, hysterically until the door opened again and a frightened voice asked ...

"Hercules? You still here?" Then it was Ares' turn to laugh, until chastised about it. Even then he didn't expect the row to come from the source it did.



Marriage Day ........ D -7 and counting ...

Zeus' Diary

Perhaps if I listened to myself, I wouldn't do these things so often. After all, I did clearly hear that little voice in my mind trying to say 'shut up - don't do this'! Of course, I ignored it.

Now see what's happened. Ares and Hercules are to be wed, not through any choice of their own. The only consolation being, they're not to wed each other! If omniscience was all it was cracked up to be, I wouldn't be sitting here telling myself, 'I told you so!', would I?

At least one of my sons seems to be coping with the situation. Oddly enough, not the one I would have guessed would cope. I can't believe that it's Hercules that's questioning my authority here. He's not coping well with the situation, not well at all! Ares, however, seems to be looking forward to marrying his 'husband-to -be' with ... well, 'glee' is the only word I can use to describe it. I distinctly remember his deep groan when he saw that the first person to enter the temple was that Joxer fellow that hangs around with Xena and Gabrielle. My ears are still ringing with his screams of laughter when he saw Hercules' friend, Salmoneus, enter second.

Hercules wasn't very happy. I never foresaw that coming! Why couldn't it have been that nice fellow, Iolaus?

Ares' Diary

Well, the old goat has finally flipped! The only comfort to having to give up one whole year to this madness is that, that infernal half-brother of mine has to do the same! I don't mind admitting I was pleasantly surprised at Joxer's sudden acquisition of a back bone. He stood up to me! ME! Gave me a royal set down for laughing at that old, fat bloke Hercules has to wed and bed! Joxer pointed out the old guy might be frightened, might even have a wife and family somewhere. The look on the old goat's face when he realized he hadn't taken that into consideration! What a picture!

I have to say, though, I'm eternally grateful that it was Joxer that came in first, not Sol ... Sal ...what ever his name is. I don't envy Hercules having to get it up for the old boy. Joxer seems more than willing and able to serve me in whatever capacity I require. He's got a surprisingly quick mind when you pay attention. Wonder how I missed that? Not to mention that he's kind of cute, in his own way. An added bonus is that he doesn't snore! Ha!! I can hear Sol ... Sal ... whatever, from here. I don't envy Hercules at all! Sleeping next to that beached whale for a whole year.

Of course, that year means so much more to Herc than me. He's already two thirds of his way through an average mortal lifespan. What's one year mean to me when I've already lived over a thousand? I suppose though, that a year will mean a lot to Joxer. And since he's willing to go along with all this craziness of dear old dad's, I'm going to have to make sure he has no cause to regret it. Ever!

I can do loving. Ask 'Dite if you need proof - just don't ask when Hep's around. Another thing, I'll have to explain things to Joxer, tomorrow. I'll need to tell him about the witnesses and what they're really there for. Hope he doesn't freak!

Joxer's Diary

Me and Ares? I can't believe it! Am I the luckiest mortal in the world, or what? That hair, that face, that bod! WOW!!! If the unseen parts are as hard as what's on show ... Those arms! I wonder if he'll ever pick me up an carry me to bed? Those thighs! I wonder if he can support me against a wall? I can't help it. The minute I heard Zeus say we I was Ares' "husband-to-be" I started getting all sort of images in my head. Not that I haven't had those kind of thoughts about Ares before. I've always envied Xena's relationship with him; I bet she knows what it's like to be held in those arms. But he never married her, did he?

When I heard Zeus tell Ares and Hercules that they had to be loving to their partners and not hurt them I thought Ares would hurl a fireball at his father. He looked pissed. Just to make sure he would abide by the rules I took him to task abut laughing at Hercules' partner, Sal what-ever-his-name-is. After all, we don't know anything about the guy and he looked pretty scared. Well, Hercules seems to know him, but there's knowing and 'knowing', if you see what I mean?

It's apparent that Ares is going to live by the rules. Good. Now I can be me. Ares is going to be surprised, pleasantly I hope, by his new partner. I could see I surprised him already when I removed my armor. I'm not the complete wimp that Xena and Gabby think. I'd put my body up against that of Iolaus, any day. Well, maybe I'm not that pumped but I've got some muscles. I've also got to remember sometime to thank my brother Jett and his friends for their "lessons" when I was younger. I'd like to see his face if I ever got the chance to introduce my 'husband' to him! At least I'm not a virgin in this; I have a feeling that guy, Sal, is. He got pretty pale when he realized what exactly was expected of him and Hercules. I thought he'd either faint or throw up! I bet I'm going to be able to surprise Ares in bed too. After years of abuse and dominance by Jett and his friends.

I learned to be pretty dominating myself in bed. I can't wait to show him some of my moves. After all there's sword play and sword play.

Hercules' Diary

I don't believe it! I simply can not believe it! He can't mean it! Father really, honestly, and truly can not mean to make me go through with this! Not me! He won't make me go through with it, he'll change his mind. He'll see. He'll see he's being totally unfair to Joxer and Salmoneus, and ... and me! Ares? He just ... gave in! I don't believe it. Ares just sat there and said 'yes dad' and didn't put up a fight.

Actually, that makes me worry. What does it mean? That father's done this before? Can't mean that! Can it? Zeus'll change his mind. He'll see. He's being so unfair. I'm sure of it. He'll see.

Sals' Diary

Husband!? He did say 'husband' didn't he? I can't be a husband, at least not to another man. I don't know how. I've never ... well, only that one time, but that doesn't count. All I did was lay there that time, scared to death. And then there was King Geghis, well at least the only family jewels I got 'that' time were sparkly and set in gold. But that doesn't count does it.

I don't know what to actually do. Oh, I know the theory. I've seen the vases, same as every body else. Not that I mind so much now that I've had some time to think about it.

I mean, Hercules, who wouldn't want to get close to that body. Seeing him pose in the all together for those artists, and then strutting his stuff in that fashion show, it sure made my 'blood' rise I can tell you that. Kind of brought a 'sparkle' to my family jewels! But this, this is definitely different...

Course I might not have to worry about any of this. The way Herc was whining all afternoon I'll probably be out of here tomorrow morning. Guess I'll have to wait and see. Who knows, If nothing else, I can probably sell the story to the "Inquirer" for a few dinars.



Marriage Day ....... D -6 and D -5, oh the humanity!

Cupid's Diary. D -6 and not happy

I hate mom! I hate her! Hate her! Hate her! This time she's gone way too far. I mean, she ordered me to give pre-wedding talks to two couples. Nothing new there, done it thousands of times. If you are soon to be married, there are some things you really ought to know. Blah, blah, blah!

What she didn't say was that one couple was Uncle Hercules and some fat guy he picked up somewhere.

And worse still, the other couple was, were, whatever ... dad and Joxer!?

Dad and Hercules? Fine. I think I could cope. Hercules and Joxer? Also fine. Even Joxer and that Sal-whatsits. I could cope. Dad and Joxer? I don't know. It just doesn't seem right! I don't know why. Well, yeah, well maybe I do know why. Joxer just seems too good for dad. Not that dad deserves someone bad, but dad's, dad, ya know? He's always there, being dad, my dad. Now Joxer .... Joxer's distracting him. He's taking all of dad's attention. But he's my dad, and I don't want to share him with anyone. Especially one that's as good at IT as Joxer seems to be! He can go have whatever he wants, wherever he wants, with whomever he wants, as long as he leaves my dad alone! Hercules and Salmon -heus? Salmoneus, yeah. I'll help them work out the details of what goes where, when. Whether they want me to or not. But dad and Joxer?

Yet oddly the pairing seems to work. Yeah, well I've seen dad work that magic on thousands of would-be lovers before now. But this time he's so, so ... so Zeus damned passionate. I don't like seeing dad that passionate about anyone, well, maybe except mom - when daddy Hep isn't looking. Joxer and dad, dad and Joxer, they were ..... they were ...... PRACTICALLY PRACTISING! And worse still, they looked like they didn't need the practice.

I don't want to share my dad. Now that I think about it, I don't even want to share him with mom! She's got Hep. Psyche's pissed off and left me with Bliss (thankfully great-granddad offered his and Hera's services to baby-sit today while I had to give these talks), and, dad's always been there for us. He's my dad, Bliss is his grandson. What am I supposed to say to Bliss when he asks who Joxer is? Here son, meet your new grandmother, HIS name's Joxer? And what happens when the year's up? Bliss has already lost so much with his mom leaving us? Will he be able to take someone else leaving the family fold? Am I being selfish?

Ares' Diary ..... D -6 and things are looking up, all sorts of 'things

I don't think Cupid's too happy. It was hysterical though! Seeing as I'm a God and Herc's a demigod, we qualify for the Godly this-is-what-is-expected-of-you talk before our respective weddings. Normally it would be the senior love God, or Goddess rather, but I don't think Dite can handle the concept. She sent Cupid.

It was so funny! I know I already said that, but it was. Imagine it, come on, my SON giving me, his FATHER, a talk on how to have sex? Especially with another man! I almost laughed out loud! I would have too if Joxer hadn't seen me and managed to swallowed my laughter - and my tongue. Yea Gods but than man can kiss! And blush. His face went purple and he muttered something about practising. Marriage is about mutual support so I supported my husband-to-be. I went along with his practising and held him up when his legs began to buckle. He was so grateful he kissed me again.

Cupid looked green, not sickly green, jealous green. He doesn't seem to like Joxer very much right now, and I always thought he did like him. He told me he even tried to stop Dite when she put a spell on Joxer that time a while back. Hmm, I did check him out. What he's showing is pure natural talent, and, what a talent to have!

Did I tell you Joxer can kiss? I did? Eat your heart out Gabrielle! I've got him, he's mine, and if you want to fight for him, see my dad. My wonderful, wise, decisive father. It's him you'll have to fight to get Joxer back (well, him and me), I'm just a dutiful son doing what his loving father thinks is best for him...

Joxer is mine, and I might just keep him! Wonder what other talents he has? Did I mention that kiss? Did I mention that second kiss?

Oh, but you should have seen Herc, the jerk's, face. You know, I don't think he's ever had sex with a man, not even in his youth. Not once! What has Iolaus been thinking? Letting that body run around uninitiated? What is Iolaus doing? Saving him for a rainy day? Well there's a tempest brewing now, and it's way too late!

You know, suddenly I'm exhausted. Think I'll go to bed early tonight? Wonder what Joxer's next surprise will be? After our talk this afternoon, the evenings from now 'til the wedding should be interesting.

Joxer's' Diary ..... D -6 and trying to hold out

Cupid was here today. Imagine him trying to give sex instructions to Ares and myself. Not only couldn't he tell me anything I don't already know, he couldn't bring himself to even look at me. He actually looked jealous of me. I think he resents me being with his dad. Maybe it has to do with the rumour I heard about Psyche leaving him. I'll have to ask Ares about it later - if I remember - which I doubt since I have so much more pleasurable things to think about. He did leave us some sort of "sex manual"; mumbled something about us probably wanting to try all the "toys". Toys? What toys? I'm going to have to take some time and look through the manual that Cupid brought us. This could be interesting.

I actually touched Ares for the very first time today. Last night all I could do is cling to my side of our bed, too nervous to move. I don't know what came over me today but I couldn't help myself. Must be all the times Xena and Gabrielle have laughed at me. Poor Cupid was trying his best to talk about sex between two men - without getting too graphic (probably due to the fact this was his father he was giving instructions to). He couldn't look at either one of us and he kept stumbling over every other word. It was a good thing he wasn't looking at Ares, Ares was ready to bust a gut. In another second he would have been laughing out loud. I couldn't let him embarrass and hurt Cupid like that so I acted instinctively. I grabbed the back of Ares' head with my right hand and combed my fingers through that think, curly, silky hair. I grabbed him around the waist with my other hand and jerked him toward me. I think I said something like 'Practice makes Perfect'. Then I pulled his face to mine and kissed him - hard. He was so surprised that he started to say something. As soon as his mouth opened I stuck my tongue in to shut him up. The next moment he surprised me. He grabbed me around the waist with both hands and kissed me back. If our tongues had been swords, we would have cut each other to shreds. Great Zeus, the man can kiss! I couldn't catch my breath, and for a second, I thought I was going to pass out. My knees actually gave out on me. It's a good thing Ares had his arms around me to support me.

As I straightened up, I could see Ares' face. He was grinning. A big, irritating grin. He was laughing at me, thought he had gotten the better of me. No way was I going to let him get away with that or there would be no way that this would be an equal partnership. I grabbed Ares' hair again, only this time I pulled on it and bent him slightly over backwards. I kissed him again, only this time I became the aggressor. I sucked his tongue into my mouth and kept sucking on it. Just before I stopped and let him go, I reached down, grabbed his muscular mounds and ground our hips together. I did it only for a second. Just enough to let Ares know that I knew what I was doing and that I wasn't going to let him walk all over me. And just long enough to leave us both as hard as a rock. If nothing else, it left Ares speechless for a few seconds and got rid of Cupid. When I finally looked up, he was gone.

I told Ares we needed to have a talk. Somehow I stumbled my way through what I wanted to say. I told him I had given it a lot of thought and I didn't want to rush our relationship. Since We couldn't do "it" before the wedding, and since we were going to be together for a long time, I asked Ares to give us some time to get to know each other before we rushed the physical side of our marriage. He said something like: "Yea, fine, alright", so I guess he was agreeing with my suggestion.

We had other visitors as well this afternoon. Of all of the people to visit, Hera and Bliss. Evidently, Hera and Zeus are baby-sitting little Bliss while Cupid is giving sex classes. Can you imagine those two as grandparents? Hera didn't have much to say to me but she talked to Ares for a little while. While she went over to talk with Hercules she left Bliss with us. He's such a cute little kid, I wouldn't mind having a little boy or girl myself one day. It was fun to play with him. Surprisingly, Ares was pretty gentle with the little cherub.

I don't know what I did to deserve Ares as a partner, but I thank Zeus for it. Thank you Zeus, thank you. Even if it never happens again, I'll remember, to the day I die the feeling of having Ares in my arms if even only for two kisses.

It's getting late and time for bed I don't think I'll be clinging to my side of the bed tonight. I know we can't consummate our marriage until the ceremony - something about vows and witnesses, I'm sure Ares will explain eventually - but there are other things I can do. Jett and his friends always said I could do magic with my hands. That seems a good place to start.

Hercules' Diary ...... D -6 and panicking.

Someone sent Cupid to have a talk with us about sex. I'm expected to have sex with Salmoneus! I've never even thought about having sex with another man, ever! Not even Iolaus! Not once! Well, I have wondered what it would be like to be kissed by Ares. That doesn't count though.

He was kissing Joxer though!

No, I should be fair. Joxer was kissing him, said something about practising. Ares just went along for the ride ... oops, wrong choice of words! Not a mental image I want in my mind. It's not that I'm a prude or that I disapprove, it's just something I've never, ever thought about. I've had plenty sex all right! Just, it always been with women. Actually several very beautiful women, and one deer, but even she was a woman when we did it. I just don't even like thinking about sex too much. I know, I'm too big and strong to be shy! But I am.

And no one ever gives it credence, that someone as big as me can be shy.

Salmoneus almost passed out at Cupid's talk. He almost exploded at Joxer kissing Ares! And that growl, not a groan but an honest to goodness growl from Ares. I guess then that Joxer must be a good kisser. What a situation. Salmoneus dying of shock, me of embarrassment, Ares and Joxer of lack of air and Cupid from terminal jealousy. Hey, even I could see that. Wonder which one he desires? Joxer the mighty kisser, or Ares, God of ... God of ... being his father! Was that it? Cupid doesn't want to share his father's affections with anyone?

Could Cupid be an ally in getting Zeus to change his mind? Me, to get out of having sex with Salmoneus, him, to get his father to himself? Wonder if the rumour about Psyche dumping him are true? I heard he was left with Bliss when she walked out. Dite never liked her at all! First sign of trouble and it's bye-bye Cupie? And he turned to Ares for support? Why on Earth would he do that?

Ares? A loving parent?

Well, from what I've heard over the years, he is a loving parent. And he raised Strife by himself when Discord dumped him, as a kid, on his doorstep, as it were. Yeah, now that I think about it I can see why Cupid would want to keep his dad to himself. Prime ally candidate if ever there was one!

Sal's Diary ..... D -6, terrified and ashamed

Cupid was here today. He made us sit while he told us, in great detail, exactly how men made love to each other. I can't believe that men do all those things to each other. Is it possible? Do they enjoy it? Can they enjoy it? All I knew was fear and pain that one time. Cupid told us that we couldn't consummate the marriage until the marriage night and the witnesses were present (what does that mean?) - fat chance of that!

If it's up to me, this marriage will never be consummated. I looked over at Hercules at one point to see how he was taking all of this information. He was staring off at a wall and I don't think he heard one word that Cupid said. It seemed like an eternity before he was done. At one point, he even tried to hand us some type of "sex manual" he called it. Hercules wouldn't take it and threw it back at him. I figured I'd better not pick it up or he might throw me across the room like he did the book. Later I saw him talking to Joxer and Ares, telling them the same things I bet. Somehow I doubt either one of them need any instructions.

I don't know exactly what Cupid was telling them, but all of a sudden I saw Joxer grab Ares and kiss him! I've never seen two men kiss each other before. I thought I'd be more shocked. After what I heard from Cupid this morning I guess nothing will ever shock me again. Not only did Joxer and Ares kiss once but they kissed again. The second time, Joxer had his hands all over Ares. I wonder what it feels like - to be touched like that, by another man. Can it really be pleasurable? Can it be done without causing pain? I don't know why I was thinking those thoughts this afternoon. I don't know why I got hard. Why would the sight of Ares and Joxer excite me? These kind of things don't happen to me. I don't need sex. I don't even like sex.

Is it hot in this building? For some reason it doesn't seem that this temple has any ventilation. It's been hot in here all day.

I guess I'll try to get some sleep now. How I don't know, with all of the noise coming out of Ares' room.

Zeus' Diary .....D -6 and feeling fatalistic

Well, no one's been killed yet. I've had Cupid in here, complaining about his mother sending him to do the pre-wedding talks! I think my little grandson is jealous. He's always wanted all of his father's attention all to himself. Poor Cupid. I offered to take Bliss for a couple of nights, let him go out and about a bit?

I'll ask Hera about Cupid's feelings, she always knows about these things.

She even forgave me my declaration that the boys have to marry. Well, she laughed hysterically at Hercules and forgave me Ares. Close enough to be supportive when it's Hera.

Oh, I did receive a prayer of thanks from Joxer. Seems someone's happy about this situ .....

Oh, my, that's just the sweetest .....

I forgot how precious they were, how wonderful they felt. It's been so long. Far too long and now I've had another one after all these centuries. Oh my pretty child, anything for you if you give me more prayers of thanks like that one. Ares' prayer's were always the most delicious gifts any of my children ever gave me.

He likes Joxer!

And I won't pry any further .... No, my boy is happy, I'm happy. Now to see Hera and see if we can't make Cupid happy too!



Hera's Diary ..... D -5 and dancing...

Bwahahahaha!

Oh Zeus, my love, you've gone and done it now!

Ares is content to go along with you. That Joxer fellow is ecstatic about your plan! Can't say I blame him, he is getting to wed my beautiful boy for a year. Sal-thingy isn't happy with you and your precious Hercules is fighting you every step of the way.

Hercules is terrified in fact!

Joy of joys. And I haven't had to raise one finger against him! And it's not even my fault!!

And now the loving, grand-fatherly, old goat offers our services to baby-sitting Bliss - to give Cupid some free time? Why ever not. If my son's bereft son needs us, then of course we should help. What loving, supportive parents wouldn't make the offer? It's our duty to help! If I can keep a straight face that is.

I knew the very place Cupid should go for a bit of a break. Lots of pretty young things, male, female, and the odd one that's both. Keep him amused for a few days. Take the strain of being a single father off those broad, muscular shoulders and let him just be himself. And the cherub went. I got his prayer of thanks late last night. Very late last night. I have to admit for once I agree with Aphrodite, that Psyche was never good enough for Cupid.

Oh, dear, and Hercules was wanting to talk to Cupid before he left. And I forgot to pass on the message. How remiss of me. Pity Cupid won't be back for days... how many are left? 6? 5? Yes, 5 days left.

I took Bliss to see Ares and company yesterday. I even talked to Hercules. He was going on and on about how everyone should be allowed to choose their own spouse. He was so adamant about it. I kinda wished he'd been around when Zeus forced me to marry him. We actually had a serious talk, me and Hercules? Can you believe it? But if I had to go through a forced marriage then he'll survive this one.

Then we had to leave, Bliss had to have a nap. But Bliss has been very happy, playing with his grandfather and Joxer. Bliss likes Joxer, isn't that sweet?

As long as Bliss is happy, Cupid doesn't have to rush back.

He's got all Ares' childhood toys to play with, so that should keep him occupied for several years, what's just one week?

Ares' Diary .....D -5 and feeling curious

Last night ..............

WOW!!!!

Wonder if I'll survive 5 more days of practising, getting to know Joxer and having Joxer getting to know me?

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention it yesterday with everything else happening, but, mother brought Bliss over. Seems today that Cupid's gone away for a few days. He looked like he needed a break yesterday, he's not usually the jealous type. The little horror likes Joxer, and the feeling is mutual. That's good.

You know, while Bliss was playing with us yesterday, mother talked to Hercules. And the temple's still standing.

Odd that .... but not so odd that it distracted me from that vision by the bed last night. Oh my, it's a good thing I'm a God or I might not survived the night... I can't believe the things Joxer can do with his hands. I don't know how many more nights of this "getting to know each other" stuff I can take. Especially if it leaves me panting and throbbing every night like I was last night. I can't wait to see what happens tonight.

I remember Joxer whispering something about taste ... and other things.

Joxer's Diary ..... D -5 and feeling pleased with himself

Last night with Ares was, was, well I don't know quite how to describe last night so I'll just write down everything we did. It must of taken me longer to get ready for bed, because, by the time I got into the sleeping chamber, Ares was already in bed. He was sitting up with his back against the headboard, waiting for me. He had his legs crossed at the ankles and his arms crossed on his bare chest. He had removed his leathers and only had on a black leather loincloth. I was glad to see he worn the fitted kind like I do, the ones that twist into a "T" between your cheeks and around the waist. Jett also said they were the best kind to find your lovers wearing. You could see, right away, up front, what you were getting, and, you could tell how what you were doing was affecting your partner. Jett was right, I could see what I'd be getting - eventually - and I wasn't disappointed.

Anyway, Ares just sat there looking at me. I had a feeling he wasn't going to look away or give me any privacy. I could feel my face get hot so I knew I was blushing, but, I figured I might as well go ahead and get undressed since I've have to do it sooner or later. I took off my vest and then reached for the drawstring of my pants. I watched Ares watching me and it took a lot of willpower not to look away. I figured by now I was probably blushing everywhere. Ares didn't seem to notice since his eyes were staring at my hands. That's when I realised that he was enjoying this. Both my embarrassment and the strip show. Damn him. Just because he's a God and use to flashing that magnificent body around doesn't give him the right to make us mortals feel insignificant. OK, I wasn't Hercules, not even Iolaus, but my body wasn't that bad. If he wanted a show, I'd give him a show. Very slowly I untied the drawstring of my pants and pulled out the laces one at a time. I let them drop to the floor and very slowly peeled the pants down my legs and stepped out of them. The long bottom of my shirt reached to my hips so it managed to cover the fact that I was actually enjoying putting on this show. I turned around and bent over to pick my pants off of the floor to throw them on a chair across the room.

I made sure that my bottom was pointed at Ares when I bent over so that he could see the loincloth between my butt cheeks. When I turned around I reached for the bottom on my shirt and pulled it up over my head. When I got it off I threw it on the floor and started to get into bed. That's when I noticed that again Jett was right, Ares certainly had been enjoying the show.

Remembering what I had discussed with Ares that afternoon, I suggested that I give him a back-rub. "It'll help me become comfortable with your body." He didn't say anything but he did scoot down and roll over onto his stomach. I straddled his waist and started rubbing his lower back. I started by gently rubbing the centre of his back and working my way to the sides. I did it again and again getting a little bit harder each time. Then I started to work my way up his back to his shoulders. When I reached his shoulders I began kneading the back of his neck and shoulders. I told Ares to reach up and grab the headboard of the bed with both hands. I made up something like, 'it stretches out the muscles and makes the massage more effective". He did like I asked so I scooted down so that I was sitting just below those hard-as-rocks cheeks of his.

Let me tell you, there is nothing like getting OR giving a rub to make your manroot stand up and pay attention. Mine was standing up very straight at that minute. I lay down against Ares' back and nestled my straining manroot between those rock-like cheeks. I reached up and started rubbing my hands up and down Ares' arms. From the shoulders to the back of his hands.

Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.

With each movement of my arms, I rubbed my manroot between Ares' cheeks, mimicking the movement of my hands and mimicking the act of love.

Up and down. Up and down.

Again and again until we were both moaning with need. Suddenly I realised three things at once. One - this is exactly what I told Ares I didn't want to do, jump right into sex. Two - I had been rocking against Ares harder and harder and faster and faster and Ares was matching my every thrust. And. Three - If I didn't stop immediately it would be too late and I'd shoot my wad into my loincloth.

I stopped rocking my hips and lay there for a second. I decided I'd better get off of my God right away if I wanted to continue this exploration another night. Just before I sat up I ran my tongue around Ares' ear and whispered: "Enough for tonight. I have plenty of time to get to know how you feel, how you taste, what turns you on and what will get you off." I got off of him and rolled onto my side pretending to go to sleep. I spent most of the night wondering what tomorrow would bring.

Would Ares mention what had happened between us tonight; would he take the initiative tomorrow night; or, would I continue my exploration of Ares - this time with my tongue.

Hercules' Diary ..... D -5 and fretting

Wonder where Cupid is? I sent word that I wanted to speak to him only to be told he was out of his temple now etc., etc.!!

As for last night! I don't know exactly what those other two were doing, but from all the moans and groans, I can guess. And it kept me and Salmoneus awake all night!

I can see what Joxer sees in Ares. He's got a strong, well built body and is beautiful to look at, but what does Ares see in Joxer? He's skinny, uncoordinated, clumsy, not particularly good looking ... but vocal. He is vocal.

Dad still won't relent, he will not even discuss the subject with me.

Oddly Hera was very sympathetic. That scared me. She brought Bliss over to see his grandfather and actually talked to me about how Zeus has always forced to people into marriage. Including her!

After she left with Bliss, Ares and Joxer went back to bed. And I can still hear them.

FATHER DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!

PLEASE!!

Sal's Diary ..... D -5, terrified and ashamed

What were Joxer and Ares doing in their bed last night? I wanted to cover my ears and hide my head. I also wanted to be standing next to their bed, watching, learning, seeing what they were doing. Were they doing IT?

If so, it must not be as painful as I remember. The moans coming from the other bedroom didn't sound like moans of pain. Maybe doing it wasn't so bad. Maybe it wasn't so good either. It sure didn't sound like the ecstasy all of the poets make it seem like. Oh well, it's not like I'm going to find out any time soon. NOT that I want to find out any time soon! I'm not interested in Hercules that way, I'm really not.

So far, Hercules hasn't spoken two words to me in the past two days. He's too busy talking to himself about trying to get out of this marriage. If he doesn't talk to me tomorrow I'm going to have to look around the temple by myself. I can't live on the fruit I've managed to find in the main room of the temple. I need something more to eat. I could also use a bath. For that matter, so could Hercules. Oh well, we'll see what tomorrow brings.



Marriage ...... D -4 and running!

Aphrodite's Diary .... Duh -4 ..... and a rival?

Ya know, I finally persuaded Hephy we should visit the boys an' I wore my best least dress, ya know what I mean? There I was, Goddess of Love, almost naked before these four guys. And two of them wouldn't look at me 'cos they were embarrassed and two wouldn't look at me 'cos they were looking at each other. I have never been so, so, well 'dissed' ya know? Ares - looking at Joxy rather than me? I mean ME!

Hephy was no support what so ever. All he could do was ask me what Joxy had that would attract Ares' attention so totally. If it had been any one other than MY Hephy asking I'd be getting suspicious ya know?

An' Herc was annoyed when I told him that he would have to do as he was told, just like the rest of us! It was daddy dearest that forced me to marry Hephy. We were lucky and it kinda works out, him being a great big cuddly bear studmuffin and all mine too! But Hercy will just have to take that same chance I did, Hera did and Ares is doing.

Sal just threw up at the mention of sex.

Odd though, I would have thought it might have got Hercules feeling protective but he stormed out the temple as far as the atrium anyway. It was Ares who went to see that Sal was okay. Imagine that? Joxy nudged him and he got up and went?

A caring sharing Ares? What's with Joxy anyway? Wonder if I can lose Hephy and get Joxy to myself for a couple of hours?

Hephaestus' Diary ..... D-4 ... Why Am I Here?

'Dite just 'had' to drag me along with her today. She knows I'm not real comfortable in a group of people. Even ones I know. Not that either Hercules or Ares ever do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. They've always been kind to me, especially Ares like when we were kids. It's just that they are both so perfect, so beautiful, with that perfect skin and those perfect bodies. Alright I'm guessing about most of Hercules' body.

I've never met this Joxer or Sal person. Looks like I wasn't meant to meet them today either. 'Dite tried to talk to the four of them but not one of them paid much attention to her. I don't think she much appreciated it. Herc wasn't listening to her at all and finally got up in the middle of her speech and just walked out of the room. Herc's partner Sal - is that right, Sal? - turned green and ran out of the room gagging in the middle of 'Dite's lecture about the importance of touching in a relationship. Ares and his partner, Joxer, were so involved with each other they didn't pay much attention to 'Dite either. They were practically sitting in each others' laps. Whispering to each other. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. I wonder what Ares sees in that Joxer? He's kind of cute - but pretty skinny. The only time I saw them pay attention to anything besides each other was when that Sal person got sick. With just a look and a word Joxer got Ares to get up and go after Sal. What exactly does that man have to attract Ares? Wonder if I could find out.

Ares' Diary ...... D -4 and coasting.

Today was an odd day. Last night was as much fun as the one before, again though Joxer halted things just as they were getting intense! But this morning, after breakfast while we were in the bath, Salmoneus, see I can get his name right when I want, came in. He just about died of embarrassment when he saw us. He was trembling, he looked quite pale. Joxy put down the piece of fruit he was eating to ask if Sal was okay. The old guy just about snatched it out his hand.

It hit me then that I hadn't seen Herc eating a meal since he arrived at the temple. If he wasn't eating was he feeding Sal? When I asked the old boy if Herc had given him a meal since his arrival he said no he hadn't. I tell you, I was ready to go find my brother dearest and give him a right pounding. And for once I'm not talking about sex!

Joxy nudged me and pointed at Sal, I knew what he was getting at. I produced a platter of food and a third goblet of wine for him. He was so grateful he kept saying thank you over and over and over again. I finally got him to strip off and get into the bath with us. Hey, it's a big bath!

Sal stank!

But me and Joxer washed him, I waved him some clean clothes and sent a word of complaint to dad. Not too harsh or he'd take Herc's side, he always does. Don't know if he listened to me though! Mark you, Herc was in a foul mood all afternoon, wonder what happened?

He was no help when 'Dite started the 'sex' talk with us when she came over to 'visit' and frightened Sal into throwing up. Joxer nudged my elbow and just looked at me. When he looks at me like that I think I'd do almost anything for him. How on Earth can he look so hot when he's looking concerned? Beats me! Well, a drink of cold wine and a fresh robe and Sal was once more in one piece. Luckily by the time we got back 'Dite was gone, probably dragged out by 'Hephy'. He's a good brother my Hep.

So no great sex with Joxer today but he did show enough backbone to make me do what he wanted me to do! Hey, I'm as impressed as anyone around here. Three more days to go and he might make it through the wedding night yet. I managed to find time, while we were in the bath, to explain to both Joxer and Sal that the consummation of the wedding will be witnessed. I made a little joke that I hoped they were in to exhibitionism. Sal almost fainted, Joxer just got this 'funny look' in his eyes. I almost whimpered at that look and begged him to tell me what he was thinking. Almost, but I'm not desperate yet!

Joxer's' Diary ...... D -4 and surprised

Ares is such a sweetie. I bet that is one word you never thought you'd hear applied to the God of War. But, he is. He was so sweet and gentle, helping Sal today. First, this morning when Sal got sick, Ares went and helped him without me having to do more than just look at him and say please. Then, this afternoon in the bathing room ... Poor Sal, he was so pale and shaky when he came into the room I don't even think he noticed what he interrupted. He was practically drooling over the piece of fruit I had in my hand. Ares was great. Without even thinking about it he produced some food and wine for Sal. The poor man leaped on it. You'd think he hadn't eaten for days. Come to think of it, maybe he hasn't. I haven't seen Herc The Jerk lift a finger to do anything for Sal since we've been here.

After Sal gobbled down some food and drink Ares and I managed to talk him into getting into the bathing pit with us. He needed it bad! He was still wearing the same robe he had on when he walked into the temple. Evidently Herc hasn't provided any new clothes either. Getting Sal into the bathing pit was no easy task, let me tell you. Sal was embarrassed by our nudity and did not want to take off his robe. Finally Ares just waved his hand and made it disappear. After that he got into the water pretty quick. When he finally relaxed and realised we weren't going to attack him he took off the loincloth to be cleaned. After another mug of wine he even let Ares and I help clean him up. I had to, honest I just had to peek. He doesn't have anything to be ashamed about. When Ares promised to provide him with a clean new robe, Sal couldn't thank him enough for all he had done for him today. I hope Zeus is paying attention and got all of what had happened today.

When we were all cleaned and relaxed Ares gave us the bad news. According to him the consummation of our two marriages has to be witnessed by any and all Gods present on Mount Olympus the day of the wedding. I though Sal would choke on his wine when he heard that. After the initial shock wore off he seemed to think about it for a minute and said something about it not mattering since there would be no marriage to consummate. I've got to admit, the news took me by surprise. For about one second I had this crazy thought about tying Ares to the bed and having my way with him in front of all the Gods and Goddesses. Like I said, a crazy thought. I've never been much of a exhibitionist and just hope I can get through the night without disgracing myself.

I've managed, last night and today in the water, to keep things light between Ares and myself. A lot of kissing and touching but that's all. Ares tried to take it further but I managed to stop him. Where I found the self control I'll never know. I'm too close to losing total control with Ares to let it go too far. If Zeus knew how close we are to defying his edit of no actual sex before the marriage he'd certainly keep us apart until the ceremony.

Hercules' Diary ...... D -4 and almost catatonic.

Dad finally came to see me today and before I could get a word in edgeways he started laying into me about how inconsiderate I was. What a disappointment I was. Why couldn't I be more like Ares? ARES? More like that murdering scumbag? I think I must have shouted something like that. Dad just sat there on my .. 'our' ... bed and glared at me. Then he really let rip!

Seems I was supposed to 'provide' for Salmoneus. Food, clothing, let him know how things work around here. Well, I guess I was just not hungry and hadn't noticed. Seems I'm due 'Ares' a thank you for feeding Salmoneus. Then dad goes on about how it should have been ME that comforted Salmoneus after he was upset by 'Dite .. not ARES!!

I AM GETTING SO SICK OF HEARING HOW WONDERFUL ARES IS!!

Did I just write that? I guess I must have. And we've only been here three full days, and he's heard this for decades. Why can't you be more like Hercules? Etc. How does he deal with it? Right now I want to rip his heart out! And he's actually been avoiding me since we all got here! Am I just using him as a focus for my anger? A convenient whipping boy? What have I missed in life seeing him as just the God of War?

Oh, Gods, what else am I guilty of?

Sal's Diary ..... D -4 and sick and thankful and scared

Thank the Gods for Ares. I never thought I'd ever think that thought in my life. He and Joxer have been the best things to happen to me in days. This morning, hearing 'Dite talk about touching and everything just brought back memories of that one time. I could almost feel my mentor's hands on me and feel the pain he caused me. The memories actually made me sick and I had to run out of the room. Did Hercules, my supposed friend, even care enough to come after me to see if I was alright? No! I don't even think he noticed that I got sick. Of all the people to come after me, to check up on me - Ares! He got me a mug of cold water and made sure I was alright.

By this afternoon I had started to get mad. I was hungry and tired of sitting in the same little room with no one to talk to. I decided to explore the temple. If Zeus didn't like me leaving the room then Zeus could just do something about it himself. I found the most wonderful room on Mount Olympus or even in the whole world. The bathing chamber. The bathing pit is as large as a lake. There's a waterfall at one side. One end is shallow and the other end is deep with large rocks to jump off of. Then there is a separate smaller pool of water that must be part of an underground hot springs. The water there is hot and bubbling. For a water baby, this is a dream come true. I may not look it, but I've always loved the water and loved to swim. At least now I have something to do with my time.

When I first walked into the room all I saw was the pool. It wasn't until I was nearly to the water that I noticed Ares and Joxer and what they were doing. I was close enough to see their hands and what those hands were on. I've got to admit, Joxer is most impressive. Of course, I expected Ares to be. I tried to back away and not interrupt but they saw me and stopped what they were doing to talk to me. I was going to just excuse myself - until I saw what Joxer had in his hand. Fruit! Food! I must have looked like I was starving because Ares immediately asked if I'd like some food and a mug of wine. Again I didn't want to interrupt, but, I haven't had but a few pieces of fruit in the past three days and I was hungry. Ares waved his hand and suddenly there was plenty of fruit, cheese, bread and wine on the tray next to the pool. I sat down and started eating. Probably made a pig of myself but I couldn't help it. All I kept thinking was Thank the Gods, again, for Ares. It's too bad most people would never know just how caring and kind he could be.

Ares and Joxer kept up the small talk while I ate and, when I was finished, they suggested that I get into the pool with them and clean up. Yea, right! Like I was going to take off my robe in front of these two bodies. One wave of Ares' hand and I didn't have much of a choice. One second I was dressed and the next I was standing these in nothing but my loincloth I decided very quickly that a bath might not be a bad thing. The water did feel good. After another mug or two of wine it seemed like a good idea to take off the loincloth and let those two wash me down. Sometime during the afternoon I think Ares said something about the consummation of our marriage being witnessed. After I thought about it for a minute, I figured I really didn't have anything to worry about. As far as I'm concerned, there isn't going to be a marriage between Hercules and myself. Not a real one anyway. You know, Ares even produced a new robe for me to wear after the bath.

Thank you again Zeus for directing me to the bathing room this afternoon and for having a son like Ares.

Zeus' Diary ..... D -4 and furious.

I've heard nothing but 'why me?' from Hercules since this all started. He is so self absorbed. Why didn't I see that? Him, him, him is all he thinks about. What about Salmoneus, his supposed friend? But I have made up my mind about this. This year will be good for Hercules!

I heard Ares' warning that Salmoneus hadn't been fed since their arrival, just as I felt him use his power to feed Salmoneus. But it was Salmoneus himself that sent up a prayer thanking me for Ares' intervention in the 'Dite debacle that got most of my attention. He gave up details of his time with Ares and Joxer this afternoon, how Ares had tried to help him face what was coming, and then earlier when he was ill, how it was Ares that went to him, not Hercules.

I always knew my beloved son was capable of such deep feeling. I just wish Hercules could learn to see things in colours other than black and white!

Ares didn't make a single complaint against Hercules other than that not feeding Salmoneus bit! Hercules has done nothing BUT complain since he entered Ares' temple in Thrace. If this is what Ares has had to put up with all along, I can see why he doesn't like Hercules. Right now, I don't like him much myself!



Marriage ... D-1 and panic has set in.

Apollo's Diary ... D-1 Zeus wants what?

I had to stop by Ares and Hercules' temple today to confirm their musical cues and what gets played when and at what point they do whatever. Hercules was a basket-case, Ares not far behind him. As for the Mortals, well they were simply not all there, you know what I mean. Catatonic sounds about right. Though Sal was definitely in an advanced state of shock and a fear induced paralysis. Joxer on the other hand was in dream land. He just sat there and smiled all the time. It was almost frightening.

As for Zeus and the full Olympian pageantry. What had he been ingesting? Ares does not do pageantry at all well! Not that little brother doesn't look good: he just gets all embarrassed and that makes him aggressive. But I tried to tell dad, did he listen? I'm sorry but Hades will do a stand-up comedy routine in the Widow Twanky's show before Zeus listens to information he simply doesn't want to hear.

I've a good mind to go tell Twanks what and who husband number six was just to get her to do her review for the wedding. That would teach dad to listen! It would also crack Ares up! We'd lose him for the duration. Once that kid starts laughing, he almost never stops the same day everyone else does. It would almost be worth the confession.

He didn't hear me call him kid did he? Thank the Pantheon for that. Sometimes even your thoughts aren't safe around here.

Last time he heard me call him that he chased me all the way to Rome and back. Mind you though, when he did eventually catch me, more because I let him, honest, boy was that a week! He's got a very talented mouth on him, when he's not talking! The nearest I ever found to that 'lung' power was Twanks.

Wonder if she want's husband number fourteen? Or is she up to fifteen?

***

Apollo's Diary Addendum .. D!!

I just saw Ares in his robes. He invited me for the breakfast, well, I am best man .. God .. whatever. Fuck does he look fuckable. I almost called him kid just for the hell of it. But if I had, dad would've killed me. But, Ye Gods! He's almost worth it. Falls short not by much though, there's just something about his legs that drives me wild! That and the little bit of butt cheek he shows as he walks, lucky for him the front dips down a little lower. I gotta go lie down and take myself in hand ... to task I mean.

Twanks, gotta go see dear old Twanks, real soon!

***

Ares' Diary ... D-1 and nervous as a virgin in Tartarus.

Apollo came round to talk music at me. He knows I don't bother with that stuff much. I asked him to go for subtle rather than pomp. He told me dad wants pomp! Why me? I told Hercules about the formal music and all that, I think he's on another planet. As for Sal, I'm worried about him. He didn't move much all day. When he did he had his robes pulled so tight about himself he almost tripped up with every step.

I made sure he ate and drank with me and Joxer. Joxer! He's done nothing but grin all day. It's almost scary! Pol said he could give Sal something to relax him tomorrow, and something to start his chariots rolling. I told him no way. Sal's got issues there, and dad, being dad, is just ignoring them. Gods, but I wish he'd say.

Joxer's grin moved to a leer around lunch time. I'm beginning to think I might not live up to his expectations.

Finally got Herc into the baths today. The smell has improved, that's a bonus. By the time he noticed he was in the bath all Herc said was, 'Thanks Iolaus'. Do I look anything like Iolaus? When that fact registered he sat there, looked me up and down and said. 'Ares, you're naked!' I ask you? What planet is he on? I pointed out that we, he and I, were in the bath, getting clean and he said, 'Oh, that's nice of you.' I mean, me nice? To him!?

Funnily enough Joxer just sat there and looked at me, as if he'd never seen me naked before. Herc watched Joxer watch me and I blushed. I do not believe it! After all these years and I still blushed under that scrutiny. Mark you when Herc suddenly offered to wash my back, Joxer almost decked him one. It would have been comical if they weren't so po-faced about it!

***

Ares' Diary Addendum ...D!!

Pol came over for breakfast, he's my best being, whatever. I swear all he did was look at my butt! Not as if he'd never seen it before, or that he wouldn't be getting a real closer look at it tonight!

I kinda thought dad would have changed his mind about this before now. Really, I never truly thought that he'd make Herc do this, even if that meant letting me off the hook too.

Damn.

Joxer looks hot! Not so damn then. Wise old dad! Just wished there was some way we could send in a substitute for Sal. He's still not said anything, to me at least. Mark you he did smile at Pol grabbing an eye full of my butt! Damned if I didn't blush again!

***

Joxer's Diary .... D-1 and glazed!

All morning I sat there, watching Apollo wanting Ares, and Ares trying manfully, or should that be Godfully, to ignore him. He kept sitting all but in my lap! It's just so damn incredible that that gorgeous God is going to marry me tomorrow. I mean me? Joxer, Joxer who really does want to be the mighty, but right now I'll settle for mighty in bed!

Around lunch time, at least I think it was lunch time. I didn't keep too close a track of time today, anyway, around then, Apollo started muttering something about some widow, I think her name was Twan something or other and Sal mutters, oh God you too? They sort of didn't look at each other but both of them had this wistful look on their faces. Wonder who she is, she must be gorgeous if she can have that sort of affect on Apollo. Well, I mean, Apollo, he ain't no slouch on the couch, now is he?

Ares, the wise and sexy God that he is, finally got Stinkules into the bath. What is it about my God's bod, he got Sal going, Apollo all but begged, Dite and Hephaestus were staring at him a few days ago, and I stare at him all the time. That God is sex on legs. I swear! And today, Hercules started staring at him too.

I really wanted to belt him one! If he had actually tried something physical I might have. Zeus would have to bring me back to life, I don't think he wants to change his plans this late in the game.

Wise old Zeus!

***

Joxer's Diary .... Addendum, D!!

Tonight's the night, shit fuckery we reached today!

Oops, now there's an inappropriate epithet if ever I thought one. Or is it? Now they're all looking at me 'cos I can't stop giggling.

I just can't help it!

***

Hercules' Diary ....D-1 I think?

Apollo came over. I think. Yes, he did, he talked about music with Ares. Ares started to fidget, I think he was embarrassed. Sal was very quiet. Ares made him lunch. That was nice of him. Then Ares took me for a bath. Joxer followed us, didn't come in with me and Ares though. I've never seen Ares naked before.

Oh brother!

He bathed me. He tried to calm me down. I offered to scrub his back and Joxer growled at me. I mean, Joxer growled at me!? What's even odder? Ares blushed. Right down below his nipples. What a sight. I never really thought about it but my brother is a very, very attractive man.

I called him Iolaus! And he didn't kill me?

Well, he was naked at the time and didn't have a weapon to hand ... whoa, what an image. Weapon? I almost asked him to beat me with his mighty weapon! But if I had I think Joxer might have killed me!

I've never, ever thought of another man like that, let alone a brother. Sal's not in bed, he's not in the room. Suppose I'd better go find him then!

***

Hercules' Diary Addendum ... D!!

Shit, I found Sal all right last night. Sitting in the hot tub trying to work up the courage to slit his wrists. I almost called Ares or Apollo even dad, but it was Dite that came. Told me to get lost! She spent the entire night with Sal. Gods alone knows what they talked about, but Sal is in one piece and alive. I suppose whatever it was had to have helped.

Apollo came over and spent the entire time eye balling Ares' butt! But then, so did Joxer and I have to admit I did too. And whatever Dite said to Sal last night musta worked 'cos even Sal took a good long look at Ares' butt! What's with this fixation I'm developing for Ares' body?

***

Aphrodite's Diary ... D-1 and grieving!

Sal told me all about everything. Okay I had to zap a truth spell on him and a desire to confess spell on him. He was gonna kill himself, an' I couldn't let that happen could I? Poor Sal. I can't even record what he said, I promised no permanent record except for my memories.

Ya know, I always wondered why he was so scared of me! I mean me? Like duh? Me?

***

Aphrodite's Diary Addendum ... D!!

Home again home again, jiggidy jog! Sal slept, a sleep spell! What a mess, but we talked, he slept. Am I great or what? Helped Sal, got to watch memories of Ar an' Pol in a scrying mirror ... more than once. Checked on Sal this morning, he's better and I did get a peek at Ares in his robes, AND he was bending over at the time! Ar and Pol, oh, yeah, Ar an' Pol!

Hephy, c'mere we got time ta kill!

***

Sals Diary ..... D-1 and looking for oblivion!

I was ever so glad Ares finally got Herc to wash. I don't know how Iolaus has put up with that smell all these years? I suppose this is another one of his 'I won't do that because the Gods do it' type things?

I suppose he's really not that bad, just not Ares. Well, who could be? Even Apollo likes him, and it's so comforting to know I share so many things in common with the God of Healing and Music and Sun and we both really think Ares is beautiful and we both know the Widow Twanky. But, I do guess he knows her better than I do!

I suppose I should mention my brief desire to kill myself? Dite came to me, she said I was a favourite of hers, I defended her good name! I told her about Philip of Athonia, my first master. Back when I was twelve, my parents bought me an apprenticeship in trading from him. The first night I was under his roof he ... he .... Damn it, I told Dite, surely I can tell myself! He RAPED me. There, I said it. I have never looked at a man that way before or since. The very idea of either having that done to me or doing it to another being sickens me. And tomorrow gotta do it in front of witnesses.

Dite talked with me, all night it seems, she sat there, listened to me, helped me through the crisis. We talked about sex and love and passion and rape and brutality and aggression. We talked about Hercules, seems thanks to old slimeball Philip I am once up on Hercules' experience. See, another 'won't do it because Gods do it' thing Gods that man is an arse. A dear friend, love him to bits but as naive as a new born flat worm. And only half as desirable.

Dite did show me so many techniques that also count as consummation. Seems ... well, it seems that penetration isn't really required, just ejaculation from one of us. But it has to be 'done' by the other, no self service consumations thank you very much, around Olympus, oh no, too easy that would be!

You want to know the best bit about her help? All her illustrated points on technique, they were these, what did she call them? Memory mirrors, yeah, of Ares. Man can that God love? Him and Apollo! Such delicacy of touch, who would have credited it of him. Passion, warmth, and as for lung power? Bet he can hold a high C for just about ever?

No wonder Apollo looks so fondly at him? Such memories.

Oh, sweet Aphrodite, I'm exhausted, I haven't slept well all week. I could sleep the next week through.....

***

Sal's Diary .... Addendum, D!!

I slept so soundly, so well. Hercules is concerned for my welfare this morning. Nice of him to notice. But, like Dite said, string him along, the guilt's good for him. Might remind him that ..... sweet Gods ..... ARES!

Oh, how I wish I were Joxer!


Ares' Diary, the day after...

Well, I don't think I'll ever walk the same again. Remember how when this all began I said that Joxer had a really talented mouth? Huh? Well the rest of him has it's talents too. Vertical he's a pussy cat, get him horizontal and he's a maniac! Oh FUCK! Literally Oh FUCK!!!

So, okay, the details, yesterday I got married. So you knew that already, smart assed diary! Anyway I walked into the main hall .. can't remember getting there but I'll go with the flow. I got there, and entered to all that pompous music Pol had warned me about. I walk the length of the hall with Pol holding my left hand, as per tradition on these occasions. After all the manipulations dad had the nerve to go for a traditional wedding? That God is strange, I tell you.

Anyway, we walk the length of the hall past all these laughing happy faces. They thought I'd be kicking and screaming, shit they haven't been with Joxer this last week. So I get there, Poll still has a hold of my hand and I'm nervous!? I mean me? Nervous? It's not as if he can say no now is it? Then Joxer comes in, he's holding on to Cupid's hand for dear life. He's nervous too! He comes to stand facing me. He smiles, I smile back, he grins, I grin back, he licks his lips, I faint! Well, almost. I did crush Pol's hand however, I'd better make it up to him? Let him call me kid in front of witnesses .. but if I did that it'd hurt Joxer...

When did I, of all Gods, start worrying about hurting mortals?

Well, Hercules came in, crushing Hephaestus' hand, almost. I guess Hephy was the only one of us who wouldn't feel the pain of that frightened squeeze of a demi-Gods hand like that. Once he was by my side, Sal came in, he was being accompanied by 'Dite. She has a real feeling for Sal, I could see it in her eye. How did I know to look? We, truth be told I have a real feeling for the guy myself. After all these centuries I finally feel pity for a mortal.

So we get lectured by dad on the sanctity of marriage. I mean, dad? I couldn't help it, I started to laugh, so did Pol and Cupid and Dite too .. Hephy was struggling manfully not to laugh and Hercules stood there and asked..

"You what?"

He looked at mom and the look on her face said 'even I don't believe this shit!'

Then mom looked at dad and she burst out laughing too, between bouts she mutter something that sounded like ..

"I'm with Herc, you what indeed!"

So dad gives up and hands over to mom. She shushes us all and we set about the business at hand in an honest fashion. Which for us Gods made quite a change.

"Do you Ares agree to wed Joxer for one full year from the consummation of this contract?" Mom asks, well, she's Goddess of Marriages, she makes the vows up to suit herself.

"Yes." Says I.

"And do you so swear Joxer?" She likes functional vows, and usually does err on the side of brevity.

"Yeah." He says.

"Hercules?" She's on a roll by now.

"Um, err, I suppose." Says Hercules. So Hera looks at him, pats him on the head like he's some demented puppy and tries again.

"Is that a yes then?" She asks.

"Yes, it's a yes!" Herc's voice cracked on a particularly questionable high note.

"Salmoneous?"

"Yes." He whispered.

"Boys, and Dite, do your duty." And Pol stepped forward, dragging me with him.

"Joxer I give you Ares, God of War as your husband, love him as you would be loved!" And that I think was the mistake. Damn, but that mortal has some odd ideas about being loved, thankfully....

"Ares, I give you Joxer the Mighty, Love him as you would be loved." Well I looked at Joxer and I must have had a look of either terror or worship on my face because I swear that's what I got from him all last night.

"Salmoneous I give you Hercules..." Yadda, yadda, yadda you see the pattern here?

Then we were led to the beds, me and Joxer to one side of the hall, Herc and Sal the other.

I never made it under my own power. I swear, I'll never underestimate Joxer ever again. EVER!!!

He picked me up and threw me on the bed. Hot damn but he's got hidden depths that man has!

Then he rode me like a horse, impaled himself, not that I was capable of stopping him, too fucking hard and desperate... we couldn't last long and when he, okay, we came the crowd cheered like maniacs. Then we swapped over and I rode him, sitting on him, in me, fucking me, fucking him... hot fuck... they all watched as we came again. They ALL watched, including Sal and Herc! Then we transferred here and took things a damn sight slower the next dozen times.

No wonder it was gone lunch time before we awoke.

I'm not sure I'll survive the next year, but shit, fuck, what a way to go?

**

Same day,

Hercules' diary.

I married Salmoneous yesterday. Salmoneous married me. Ares married Joxer, Joxer married Ares, Then they, Ares and Joxer that is, fucked like rabbits right in front of our eyes.

And they enjoyed it.

Before I could even think about things, like, why was I so hard? The next thing I know is Sal, he's got a hold of my ... my ... to be blunt he has a hold of my dick and is pumping it with a fervour. Ares is screaming in orgasm, Sals' fondling my balls and pumping my dick. Little surprise I came....

I'm so embarrassed.

Then we came back here and listened to Ares and Joxer fucking like rabbits again, all night they were at it. ALL NIGHT!

I'm getting harder than a mountain listening to Ares screaming and even Joxer's got a throaty scream on him and Sal looks at me and says good night and promptly goes to sleep.

I took a real long, hot, bath and brought myself off a few more times before I could finally crawl into bed beside Sal and sleep.

And I'm stuck here, sharing a temple with those randy rabbits for a whole year! Oh, and with Sal too. At least Sal seems a little calmer now.

**

Joxer's diary, about the same time as Ares' was....

I did it, I made him mine. I saw what I wanted and took it, before all the Gods and Goddesses. I took him, rode him, made him come inside me and if all I've got is a year, then at the end of it I'll die of very old age brought about by way too much fucking.

He is a power house in bed. Creative, caring, yes, I did write caring, unbelievable isn't it. For every orgasm he had he made damn sure I had one too.

Isn't that so sweet?

He has vowed to be my husband for the next year, and me his. Hot damn!

Between rounds of fucking our brains out we talked, like we were equals, ya' know? Him and me, equal? As if, in my dreams and all that. I told him about my family and he talked about his. Not the general stuff we all know but the secret stuff ... so I'm not gonna mention it. No point in tempting the Fates, especially when they're like, your in-laws?!

**

Sal's diary, a survivors tale.

Well, I did what 'Dite said and it worked. I brought Hercules to completion and that constituted consummation. I never thought that I could do it, but, I did it! I mean, me? I did it! And then he did it, and we didn't have to do it anymore, 'cos we'd done it!

And Ares and Joxer are still doing it .. Well they were the last time I listened in to them. No, I think they're either asleep or dead. Can you die from too much sex? Even when you're a God?

Hercules went for another bath last night and judging by the noises he was making, it was an interesting bath. I almost joined him in the bath but I know that sound, he was way too otherwise engaged and I didn't want him to think I was interested in his activities .. know what I mean?

Well, this morning he smiled at me, bid me a good morning and then got breakfast for both of us. He actually used the powers he has here in Olympus and fed me.

Wonders will never cease!

So I survived yesterday, now have a husband for the next year and can still feel Hercules' dick in my hand, and his spunk..... whoops gotta go barf!

**

Hera's diary the day after her baby's wedding.

So for a year I gotta put up with Hercules around here. Mark you I liked his comment to Zeus about the sanctity of marriage. I could've kissed him at that point. It went well, half the others are drooling over Ares' body, the other half are remembering it? And all of them are seriously confused at to why Joxer? That young man has a lot of courage, he threw Ares on their marriage bed and rode him to Tartarus and back.

Ares might be my youngest child, as well as Zeus' youngest full God, but last night there was no denying that he was an adult.

I had a beautiful baby and now he's all grown up.

Oh, something in my eye, I gotta go deal with it....

**

Zeus' diary...

Oh fuck, what have I done?

End