Note: This begins about a nanosecond after Tha Birds, An' Tha Bees, An' All That Othah Good Shit ends

Asclepius clapped his hands "Okay, people. I think Dad and baby could use a little quiet time. Everyone out except... uh... Dad." Everyone flashed out 'cept Ace, Cupe, an' the Freaky Foursome, who were still standin at tha back of tha room. Ace frowned at them, pushin up his sleeves as he got ready ta zap 'em back off Olympus.

I said, "Whoa, Ace. Leave 'em fah a little while. Cupe can get 'em back where they came from in a minute."

Ace looked doubtful, but he shrugged. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on you two, and set up a schedule of visits for little Impetua. Just yell if you need me before then." He smiled, stroking Impetua's downy head, an' tha baby made a questioning sound. "This is the best part of my godhood--this is what makes everything worthwhile." He backed up out of tha baby's line of sight an' flashed out.

I crooked a fingah at tha quartet on tha othah side of tha room, an' they edged ovah. Xena an' Iolaus led tha way, with Gabrielle an' Hercules hangin back a little. "So, Zeen," I said, "Whattaya think of yer new niece?"

Xena leaned ovah tha bed, and tha bandits an' warlords she's always kickin butt on woulda probably dropped in shock at tha tendah expression on her face. "Oh, Strife! She's just perfect. Could I hold her?"

"Just fah a little while." I carefully transfered Imp inta Xena's arms. Once Xena was holdin tha baby, Gabrielle an' Hercules came closah, crowdin in ta have a look. My feelins weren't hurt. Heck, tha more distance between me an' tha Gabmeister an' Jerkulese, tha better. But tha more people who felt protective toward Imp, tha bettah, too, so I didn't say anythin.

"Oh," Gabrielle breathed. "She's so beautiful!"

I started ta say somethin, but I didn't hafta. Cupe snapped, "You don't have to sound so surprised. What were you expecting--horns and scales?" Cupe's eyes were flashin gold sparks.

Iolaus (I wouldn'ta expected it from him, but I guess he's usedta coverin up Jerkulese's social bumblin) spoke up quickly. "I think what she meant was that newborn babies are usually kind of squashed and red looking--lopsided. Some of them even look scaly. It usually takes a week or more for a baby to look so... so... finished, like Impetua does."

Hercules said, "Kind of a disappointing godhood Zeus conferred." When he caught mine an' Cupe's combined glare, he stuttered, "I just meant that there probably won't be many worshippers willing to dedicate themselves to Jealousy."

I sniffed. "A lot you know! I'll hafta get Zeus's official approval, but I think Imp should be tha Goddess of Jealousy an' Envy. She might not end up with a ton of official worshippahs, but I promise ya that she'll have wunna tha best power bases on Olympus. Everyone envies someone, or somethin."

"Not everyone!" Hercules protested

"Yah? Name one."

"Uh, well..." I loved it. Ya could almost see Herc doin a mental scramble. It was like watching a mouse in a boxa wood shavins tryin ta find a hole ta crawl through. Finally he said desperately, "Iolaus! He's perfectly content with things, as long as he's fed regularly."

"Please!" I snorted.

Iolaus was peekin at Imp's toes undah tha cloth. "Hate to be the one to tell you this, Herc, but he's right."

Hercules blinked. "I thought you were happy with yourself."

"I am, but I do envy someone."

"Who?"

Iolaus nodded toward us. "Them."

"What?" Herc an' Gabby chorused. Nice effect. I'm gonna call it 'stereo'. It'll drive alotta people crazy someday, particulahly aftah midnight.

"What?" Cupe an' I were a little quietah, but not any less surprised.

Iolaus shrugged. "You two are obviously in love, you're in a committed relationship, and now you've made a beautiful baby together. Sure, I envy you." I made a mental note ta take it kinda easy on Herc's blond fah awhile. Tha Bimbo Bard, though... I was already drawin up a mental list. I thought I'd start with havin a camel develope a taste fah that bare-midriff top thingy she'd taken ta wearin.

Cupid went ta take 'em back to where we'd gotten 'em from. He took 'em personally, 'cause he was so excited he was afraid he might slip an' materialize 'em in tha middle of a lake or about a foot from tha edge of a cliff (a foot in tha wrong direction, if ya catch my drift). Normally that thought wouldn't have bothahed me much, fah Herc and Gabs, anyways, but bein a new dad was makin me feel about as mellow as it's evah possible fah me to be.

Bliss snuggled up against my side an went ta sleep, I settled down with Imp in my arms, an' I actually dozed off before Cupe came back. When I woke up a little latah Cupe was sleepin on Bliss's othah side. He was on his tummy, but his left arm was thrown across Bliss, restin on my leg, an' his left wing was stretched out ovah me, Bliss, an' Imp, shelterin us. I almost cried.

Imp squirmed a little, blinkin up at me through squinty eyes. "Hey," I said softly. "How ya doin? Hope ya don't think that I wasn't payin attention. I just figured if you were gonna sleep, I'd bettah sleep." She stared at me, with a little crease between her eyebrows, like she was tryin ta figuah me out. I touched tha wrinkles gently. "Don't let yer grandma Dite see ya do that, kiddo. She'll start goin on about wrinkles. Maybe I oughta tell ya about yer family now, so ya know what ta expect, huh?"

"I won't go inta details--there's plenty of time fah that latah," my voice dropped even lowah, "when yer brother an' othah dad aren't around. I'm warnin ya now, kiddo--some of 'em are flaky as Tartarus, some of 'em ain't worth a lead dinar, and there's one or two whose togas aren't too tightly wrapped." I smiled. "I guess I count as one of 'em. But there's some pretty cool one's, too, an' most of 'em have at least some good qualities." I put my lips against one teeny, shell-like ear an' whispered, "Though ta find 'em ya may hafta shovel more shit than Herc did in the Aegean stables."

I heard a sigh, an' Cupid turned his head enough ta look at me. He smiled. "I'd tell you not to feed our daughter such prejudicial opinions--if you weren't right."

Bliss sat up, rubbin his eyes, an said, "Stwife, is Imp's face itchy?"

I immediately got worried, holdin up tha baby ta get a bettah look at her. "Why? You see a rash, Bliss?"

"No, it's just that her was rubbing her face against you."

Come ta think of it, Imp had turned her face toward me, an' been sorta pushin against my chest. Cupid chuckled. "Don't worry, you two. I think Imp is just hungry. Bliss, you've seen when Grandpa's war hounds had puppies, huh? Remember how they all push their noses up against their mama's belly to eat? That's what Imp is trying to do--she's rooting."

"Oh." I looked at Imp. "Um, Immpy, ya sure ya don't wanna, like, grab a sandwich?" Bliss fell ovah gigglin, Cupid put a hand ovah his mouth ta hide his smile, and Imp (Zeus bless 'er), I swear she gave me a 'duh!' look. "Right. Yeah. Time ta open tha dairy, I guess." I looked at Cupid. "This is gonna be so weird."

"You want me to take Bliss out?" he asked softly.

"Um, no. Actually, I'm gonna need all tha moral support I can get." I thought away my tunic. Imp immediately turned an' pushed her face against my skin, her head movin in little wobbles, her open mouth trailin warm dampness on my skin. "Poop, baby. I wish now my chest had gotten biggah, so it would be easiah fah ya." I cupped Imp's head carefully (damn, that hair was as soft as milkweed) an' turned her a little more upright, then guided her toward my nipple.

*glomph!* *slurpslurpslurp*

Whoa! That kid may nevah have seen a tit in her life, but she sure knew what ta do with it when it was presented. "Wow," said Cupe. "She's a fast learner. Bliss refused the breast for almost a full day, and it was another couple of days before he'd really nurse enough." I considahed saying somethin about that kid bein sensible, considerin who (Psycho) was tryin ta nurse him, but I ain't gonna talk down Bliss's mom ta him, no mattah how great tha temptation, or how much she deserves it.

We all watched Impetua nurse. Aftah a few minutes her forehead started wrinkilin again. I blinked an' looked at Cupe. "She feels like she's tryin ta suck my spine out. What suction on this kid!."

Cupid wiggled his eyebrows, smiling, and said, "I could say something about heredity."

I blushed. "Not in front of tha kids, ya couldn't." Imp spit out my nipple, puckered up her face, an' cried. "Crap! What's wrong, sweetie? I thought ya liked it."

Bliss tugged at my arm. "Maybe youse empty?"

I gave tha (now tendah an' damp) nipple a little squeeze, an' nothin leaked out. "I'll be a minotaur's uncle! I think yer right, kid." I carefully swapped sides, an' Imp latched on again like a limpet. Aftah a little while longah Imp slowed down, an' her eyes started ta drift shut, but when I tried ta pull her away, she went at it again. I looked at Cupe an said, "I guess it'll take her awhile ta realize it'll be there whenevah she wants it."

Finally her itty-bitty rosebud lips went slack, an' I eased her off tha booby. She smacked her lips, an' that sent all three of us inta giggles. "Okay, now we gotta get rid of tha air she swallowed."

"Did she swallow air?" Bliss asked curiously.

"Tha way she was gulpin? You betcha. Lessee, Joxer let me practice on Accord, so I should have this down. Ya start off real, real gentle." I laid Impetua on my forearm, lengthways, cradling her little head in my hand. Her little wings were folded up tight, but they relaxed when I stroked 'em, an I managed ta gently part them. Then I rubbed her back right between 'em, an'...

*upp*

Bliss made a superior face. "Scuse you, Imp."

"She can't help it, Bliss," Cupid assured him. "Babies have to burp, or they get fussy. Besides, I think that's the cutest, most ladylike burp I've ever heard."

I shook my head. "Ta think that I lived ta see tha day that a kid of mine was called 'ladylike'." I sighed. "Will I evah live it down?" I laid Imp against my chest again. "I sure hope she likes sleepin on her tummy."

Cupid nodded, reachin ovah ta preen a few of tha tiny feathahs. "She probably shouldn't sleep on her back till she's at least a year old. The bones are still soft."

Bliss cocked his head. "Hey," he blinked, and pointed. "She got no winky."

I almost choked. "That's cause she's a girl, Bliss."

"Oh." He didn't sound like he thought that was a very good explanation. Imp's arms an' legs curled up tight against her body. Bliss frowned. "Is she cold?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"She might be. She's nekkid."

"Yah, I guess we ought ta put a diapah on her before..." I felt a warm trickle down my chest. "Too late--I been christened. Cupe, does it always just run right out again?"

He chuckled. "Hand her over and I'll take care of it while you clean up." I handed our daughtah ovah. While I flashed on a clean tunic, Cupe examined Imp carefully, then flashed a diapah on her. "We'll have to keep it kind of low slung for now."

Bliss was studyin Imp's tummy. "Daddy, Imp gots the biggest outie bellybutton I ever saw."

"It won't always be like that, honey," Cupe explained. "That's where Imp was attached to Daddy Strife."

"Why?"

Cupe looked at me. I smiled an' looked back. "Yah, why? I'd liketa know, too."

"Um, well, you know that tiny babies have no teeth?" Bliss nodded. "The baby had to eat while she was in Strife's belly, but she couldn't chew up food, so Strife ate and got the food all mushy, and then it went right into Imp's belly through a tube."

"Imp ate the same thing Stwife ate?" Bliss looked at me, round eyed. "Stwife, that baby should be big."

I stuck out my tongue at him. "Thanks, brat."

"Anyway, Bliss, when it was time for Imp to come out she didn't need the tube anymore, so Ace cut it."

Bliss pointed. "Why she got a cord knotted on it?"

I piped up. "Ta keep all tha air from leakin out."

"Strife!" Cupe scolded. "They just had to, baby. See, Imp doesn't need that now, so in a week or so it's going to just dry up and fall off. She'll have a little boo-boo for a day or two, but we'll keep it nice and clean. We'll wipe it with wine, because that takes off dirt real good. When it heals Imp will have the cutest little bellybutton you ever saw."

Bliss's eyes were real, real wide, an' he had his thumb in his mouth. He hadn't done that fah awhile, so I knew he was upset about somethin. "Whassa mattah, Blissy?"

He spoke around his thumb. "It just gonna fall off?" I nodded. He looked at Cupe. "Daddy, did I have one of them, and it just fell off?" He nodded, too. A minute latah I hadda bite my lip so hard I almost drew blood ta keep from laughin. I couldn't, cause when ya think of it, it was a damnserious question fah tha kid.

He looked down at his lap, looked up at Cupe, an' said worriedly, "Daddy... nothing else ever falls off, do it?"

Month One--Diapahs--Do I Really Need Ta Say More?

"Ah, crud, Imp!"

coo

melt

"All right, ya little demon." sigh "Cupe! I need anothah diapah."

"Again?"

"Yah, an' don't look so amused, dammit."

Cupid got anothah diapah an' handed it ta me. "When are you going to learn to bring a spare with you, Strife?"

"Shaddup. She just wet tha damn thing, I figured she was through. Wait, I still gotta get her wiped." I laid down tha clean diapah next ta tha original soppy one. Slidin my hand undah my daughtah's back I gently lifted her teeny butt, reachin fah tha warm, wet cloth. She squirmed. "Hold still, Impy. I know ya don't like layin on yer wings, but I ain't figured out how ta change ya any othah way, an'..." I felt a trickle of warm liquid on my hand. "Imp!"

She jerked, green eyes goin wide, arms an' legs shooting out in all directions (I felt tha wings twitchin. They'da flapped if she hadn't been layin on 'em.) before curlin back up. "Strife! Don't yell at the baby," Cupid scolded.

"I wasn't. Well, I didn't mean ta. Cupe, she peed on me again! Where tha Tartarus is she gettin it all? An' stop laughin!"

He tried, but his feathahs were shakin. "I'm sorry, baby, but the look on your face! You have it easy. I used to change Bliss, and I swear, I think he aimed.." Tha image of my big, beautiful hubby catchin a faceful of baby lemonade wiped away any irritation I mighta had, an' I giggled. Cupe joined me. "Mom almost had fits. She insisted on me using one of her special face creams after each 'annointing'. I was going through so much that she decided pretty soon that it wasn't necessary."

Bliss trotted in an' came ovah ta tha bed. He looked at Imp, then at me, wrinklin his nose. "Wet or tinky?"

"Just wet this time, Bliss-ter."

He giggled. "Ol' Imp sure does tinkle a lot."

"Well, kiddo, ya gotta remembah that even when she eats, she drinks."

Bliss puffed out his chest. "I don' tiddle in my drawers no more! I'se a big boy!"

"That you are," Cupe said fondly, ruffling his hair.

"When's Imp gonna stop tiddling in her drawers?"

I sighed. "I kinda figure she's gonna hafta learn how ta walk before we worry 'bout that, Blissy."

He thought about this. "I could bring her the pot when she wants to," he offered.

I grinned. "Sweet of ya ta offah, kiddo, but she'd hafta learn ta talk before ya could do that."

He put his hands on his hips. "Well, when she gonna do that?"

"Gah, kid, impatient much? Bright as ya are, you still didn't get undahstandable till ya were around two."

Cupid lifted Bliss up onta his lap. "You could understand him then? I couldn't understand him very well till he was almost three."

"Hey, I'm Mischief! Me an' kids communicate onna real close level." I got Imp wiped an' dried. I was about ta finish up, but I stopped fah a minute ta admire her again. I sighed. "Cupe, tell me tha truth--is that, or is that not tha most beautiful butt on earth or Olympus?" Cupid leered at me. I laughed. "Lemme rephrase that--tha most beautiful-in-a-non-sexy way female butt."

"Without a doubt."

I powdahed Imp's behind with somma that sweet smellin stuff Dite had provided us with. If this hadn't been her grandkid I woulda suspected it was some face powdah she'd decided was too pale fah her, but I knew she'd put her head tagetha with Ace ta come up with it way back when Bliss had still been in nappies an' had gotten a rash. It worked great. No mattah how much Imp leaked, she hadn't gotten chafed yet. 'Course I tried ta be sure she got changed tha second she finished tiddlin.

I slipped tha new didey undah The Universe's Sweetest Baby Butt an' wrapped it around her. I sighed, takin wunna tha pins offa my outfit. (Yeah, I was back in my leathahs. Only took me about three weeks ta lose tha extra blubber. Nyeh! High metabolism). "Okay, here comes tha part that is shortinin my immortal life."

I positioned tha point of tha pin against tha diapah. Imp looked up at me with big, trustin eyes. I stuck a fingah inside tha diapah, feelin till I found tha bump that was tha pin-point. Me, Cupid, an' Bliss all held our breath. I pushed. This time I managed ta stop with just a little stick insteada rammin it inta my fingah. We all three let our breath back out. I wiggled tha pin around till it poked back out, an' clasped it. I went through tha same routine on tha othat side. I looked at Cupe an Bliss. "Cross yer fingahs." They did, both holdin up both hands, with fingahs crossed.

I picked up Imp. Tha diapah slid down an inch. "Quick, Cupe, do we have a God of Fittin?"

"I'd say Mom, but it's not official."

Tha diapah stopped. It hung a little low on Imp's hips... Okay, where her hips would eventually be... but low slung clothes are a fine ol' Olympic tradition. I sighed. "I think I'm finally gettin tha hang of this."

Cupid an' Bliss applauded. I hitched Imp up on my shouldah an' took a bow. Imp flapped her wings an' smacked me in tha face. "Way ta keep yer old man humble, doll."

Bliss held out her arms. "Lemme hold her."

I settled Imp in Bliss's arms. Cupe casually cupped his hand undah Imp's head, puttin his otha hand ovah her legs, but he really didn't hafta worry much. Bliss was really good with Imp. He peered down at her an' said, "Imp, youse got an innie now." He looked up at Cupid. "Her boo-boo's all better, Daddy." When tha umbilical cord stump had finally fallen off there had been a little raw patch for a coupla days. We wiped it down with wine ta make sure it didn't get infected. Imp didn't like that--I think it might've stung a little. She cried. All three of tha men in her life--both her daddies an' her big brothah, had cried, too.

Bliss gently petted Imp's head, bein careful of tha soft spot. "Daddy Stwife, howcome Imp got bald? Where all her hair go?"

I sighed. "Search me. I nevah found any on tha pillow or sheets, but there was just less an' less each day." Now there was nothin but a little browny-green fuzz, kinda like a skim of moss. Apollo had found that hilarious. I screwed up tha tunin on all his instruments aftah he snickered about it.

We sat Imp up so that she leaned ovah Bliss's arm, an' Cupe started groomin her feathahs. Cupe's got big hands, but when he touches someone he loves they're as gentle an' sure as anyone's. Imp likes havin her wings preened, an' she started ta doze off.

I winked away tha dirty didies, an' thought up a tall, fresh stack, makin sure that they was nice an' warm. I laid back, sighin. "I wish I'da kept track of how many nappies Imp goes through right from tha start. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a record."

"Not even close, babe," Cupe assured me, tenderly stroking one tiny, greenish feathah straight. "Not to hear Unc talk about you when you were little. Of course, as soon as you figured out how, you'd rip yours off, whether you were wet or not. You ran around the Halls of War in the buff a lot of the time. You were so fast and so pale that the priests called you White Lightning."

'Careful about bringin up my past, lover. I'm sure Dite has a sketch of ya nekkid on a rug somewhere, an' someone might see ta it that it got reproduced an' hung up in all yer temples." He laughed, an' I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that don't worry ya?"

He gave me a suggestive grin. "I just wonder if you'd be willing to let everyone look at nekkid pictures of me, even when I was a baby."

"Mmm, I'd hafta think about it. Anyways, back ta diapahs. Ya sure that I don't hafta worry if Imp goes a day without poopin?"

"I talked to Ace, and he said it isn't a problem, especially if she isn't on solids yet. More than one day, yeah, we need to see him, in case she's blocked, but one day is no problem."

"Good, that's a relief." I leaned ovah an' tickled Imp's feet, watchin her jerk her knees. "Babies have weird poop. Ya haven't changed wunna tha poopy ones yet, have ya Cupe?"

Cupid cleared his throat. "I'm not avoiding it, Strife, I swear. I'm just never around at the right time."

"Uh-huh. I'm thinkin of one or two errands that turned up real fast aftah I noticed ya sniffin around Imp." I smiled at him. "Do ya know what Imp's poops look like, Cupe? That's somethin ya should know about yer kid. Ya gotta be able ta tell when they change, in case there's somethin wrong."

Cupid shifted uncomfortably. "I sort of thought you could keep track of that."

"We share this business, right?"

He nodded reluctantly. "I guess so, but that's really not something I want to know."

"Ya ready?" Cupid gritted his teeth. "Scrambled eggs." He turned green. "Yellah, soft, an' a little lumpy. Kinda like scrambled eggs with a lotta milk cooked just till they're set. An' ya know, sometimes they're almost as warm as..."

Cupid turned away, materialized a basin in his lap, an' upchucked. I took Imp. "Bliss, get yer daddy a nice wet cloth ta clean his face." Bliss trotted toward tha bathin room.

When Cupid finished he said breathlessly, "Okay, that was low. The scrambled eggs..." His cheeks puffed out, an' he made an urf sound, but he didn't chuck again. Finally he could continue, "were enough. You didn't need to add the last bits."

I smiled sweetly. "Just wanted ta be sure ya could visualize it."

"Well, stop it. You know it makes me horny when you're bad."

That wiped tha smile offa my face. Cupe an' I hadn't had any real sex since that nice session right before Imp was born. I hardly counted that coupla handjobs we'd exchanged. I mean, they're nice enough--as fill-ins. It seemed that just before we really got goin Imp hadta be fed or changed, or Bliss needed ta be fed, or bathed, or read to. An' when there wan't that, Cupid was workin', an' I had started ta take up a few of my duties again. Half tha time wunna us went ta bed first an' was snorin by tha time tha othah one got there, an neithah wunna us wanted ta wake tha othah, cause sleep had become uncertain, ya know? "Cupe, please don't say 'horny' while I'm holdin our daughtah. It makes me feel funny."

We just stared at each othah till Bliss came in with tha cloth, climbed up on tha bed an' wiped Cupe's face fah him. "You need cousin Ace, Daddy?"

"Nah." He got kissed. "It was just something that I'm not going to eat again for a long, long time." We stared at each othah again. I went an' put Imp in her cradle, an' Cupe didn't pull Bliss up inta his lap fah tha same reason--we were both gettin hard just looking at each othah. Cupid's voice was kinda hoarse. "How much longer?"

I didn't hafta ask him what he meant. How much longah till we could have Imp babysat, fah at least a few hours. As much as I wanted ta say 'Holler fah Unc now!', I couldn't. "One more week, when she's ovah a month old--then."

He smiled, colors shiftin in his eyes, an' bent ovah ta give me a kiss. He gave tongue, damn him. Cupid called Bliss, an' said, "C'mon, baby boy. I feel like a dip in a nice, cool, actually cold pool." I watched his ass as he walked out, an' I swear that beautiful bastard put an extra swing in his hips. I sighed. It was gonna be a long, long week.

waaaaaaaah

"Hush, lil baby, don't you cry," I sang. "Artemis chases her prey in tha sky. Unca Apollo is long since asleep, an' so is Posiedon, way down in tha deep."

Cupid whispahed. "Is she asleep?"

I whispahed back. "Yah. Lemme try an' lay her down." shift settle tuck stroke sigh "There. All right, let's try ta tiptoe out."

Cupe an' I tiptoed outta tha little room we'd created right nexta our own an' eased tha door almost shut. We stood there, holdin our breath, listinin. When there was no sound we tiptoed ovah ta tha bed, crawled up on it, an' sorta fell on each othah.

I'da rathah taken my time with Cupe, since it had been so damn long, but hey, I like fast an' furious sometimes. We'd had nothin since Imp had been born 'cept fah a few quick handjobs (an' those were sometimes interupted by eithah Imp or Bliss, or some relative or othah droppin in ta see tha baby.) I love my kids, but gods!

Cupe flashed my clothes off, threw me back on tha bed an' swooped on me, takin my cock down his throat in one plunge. I couldn't help it--I whooped.

whaaaa

"Cupe..." I wanted ta cut my own throat. He grabbed my hips, holdin them down, an' sucked harder.

whaaaaaaaa!

"Cupe, wunna us hasta go."

Cupid pulled offa my cock an' buried his face against my thigh. I felt dampness on my skin, an' saw that his shouldahs were shakin. "Aw, Cupe."

I pulled him up inta my arms, an' he buried his face against my shouldah. "I'm sorry, babe," he whispahed. He wiped his face. "It's just that it's been so long, and I need you."

I rocked him. "I need ya, too, Cupie, but it's gonna be all right. Just make it ta tamarrah. Joxie will take Imp, Dite will take Bliss. We won't hafta worry about eithah of 'em till the 2 am feedin. We'll have plenty of time tagethah."

uh uh uh uhwaaaaaa!

"I'll go." He materialized a cloth an' blew his nose. "I feel so stupid. I love our daughter so much, but I miss us... together."

He slid out of bed an' went inta Imp's room. I heard him say, "Hey, little girl. Come to Dad."

uh uh uh ahhuhh

"Now, now, what's the problem, hmm?"

cooo

"Thaaat's better. That's my little sweetheart. Oh, honey, you have got to get used to sleeping longer. I love you, but I love your Daddy, too."

I thought on some pants, got up, an' went inta Imp's room. sigh There's just somethin about seein a big, strong man holdin a teeny baby. Imp was in just her diddy, layin against Cupe's bare chest. (Ace said that skin on skin contact calmed babies down, reminded 'em of when they were inside their mom--or in Imp's case, her daddy. It seemed ta work.) Her head was tucked just undah Cupe's chin, an' her green eyes were almost slits. She was already almost asleep again. Cupe had one hand cradlin tha back of her neck an' tha othah supportin her butt. In between his hands her little wings were wavin, slower an' slower. Finally her eyes closed, an' tha wings folded. Cupe stroked tha feathahs smooth, then carefully deposited Imp on her tummy in tha cradle, turning her head gently ta tha side. He kissed his fingahtips, then brushed 'em ovah her peachfuzz hair, turned around, an' saw me in tha door. He smiled.

I held out my arms an' he came inta them. I held him, strokin his hair, then his wings. "Tamarrah, Cupe. I'll make it up ta ya tamarrah."

Cupid slid his hands inta my hair, holdin my head back a little so he could look inta my eyes. "Strife, there's nothing to make up for. This is just part of being parents--it happens. I went through it with Psyche and Bliss. I will admit, though," he sighed, leanin his forehead against mine. "the abstinence was easier to handle with her."

I couldn't help smilin. "Yah?"

He grinned back at me, "Oooh, yah."

"Time to go, Bliss." Cupid held out his arms.

Bliss folded his arms, tucked his chin, an' scowled. Oo, damn, Ares couldn'ta denied that kid was his blood even if he'da wanted ta. "Wanna go with Imp."

"Not this time, kiddo," I said. "Arrangements have already been made fah you ta spend tha night with yer Grandma Dite an' Hephy. Maybe ya can talk Heph inta lettin ya help forge some of yer daddy's arrows."

He looked interested fah about two seconds, then tha scowl came back. "Wanna go with Imp!" He gave me tha most defiant look he evah had, but there was a worried look in his eyes. "Imp needs me!"

I felt my insides gettin gooey. "Sure she does, Blissy. Yer her big bro, an' she'll always need ya."

He rubbed his eyes, tryin not ta let a tear escape. "I take care of her."

I hugged him. "Ya sure do, big guy. But no one can take care of someone else every single second. We gotta have help sometimes."

"Okay, but why can't I go with Imp?"

Cupid said, "Because an infant and a yearling and a...," Bliss looked at him, and Cupid ammended what he was going to say, "Well, you're a big boy now, Bliss, and you don't need to be taken care of as much as they do."

He sighed. "You sure Imp's gonna be all right? You sure they can take care of her?"

I managed ta keep tha snickers down. An almost six year old, questionin tha kid care abilities of two of Olympus's finest. "Yah, I'm sure. Ain't they doin a good job with Accord?"

His brow wrinkled, "Yeah, Daddy Stwife, but this is Imp we're talking about."

"Don't worry, Curly. She'll be fine. Now, run ta yer dad an' he'll take ya ta Dite's place while I run Imp ta the Halls of War."

Bliss gave me a big kiss, then brushed a smaller one on Imp's pink cheek. He whispahed. "Don't worry, Imp. Gran'pa Rees and Gran'pa Joxie is really, really cool, and they take good care of you. But 'member, if you plays with Mjau, don't pull his tail or ears. He don't like that, and he scratches." He trotted ovah ta Cupe, who gathered him up inta his arms.

"See you in a few, doll," Cupe said, an' flashed out.

I studied tha bags I had packed fah Imp, wonderin if I had everythin. Then I hadda flash of Ares bringin Accord ta stay ovah night with us, an' how I'd shaken my head ovah all tha stuff he brought, thinkin that Joxer had ovah done it a little. Right now I was wonderin how he'd managed with such meagah supplies. There was only one way ta do this. I picked up Imp an' zapped tha pile of baby stuff ovah ta Ares's temple. I wrapped Imp carefully in her blanket (pink--a gift from her Grandma Dite, surprise, surprise. That woman was gonna turn my kid inta a girlie-girl if I didn't watch out.), an' transported us both.

We appeahed in Unc an' Joxer's private room. Joxer was starin at tha pile of baby stuff with an amused look. "Strife, did you leave any of Imp's stuff at home?"

"I may have missed a pair of booties or somethin."

"Between what you brought and the stuff I have from when Accord was little I think we'll have it covered. Why don't you settle Imp in the cradle? Ares and Cord are in the reception hall." He grinned. "There's something I'd like to show you, if Cord is in the mood." I was anxious ta get back ta Cupe, but I had a soft spot fah Accord. I was watchin him as a primer fah what ta expect from Imp. I could spare a coupla minutes.

Ares and Accord were out in the center of the hall. Accord was standin nexta his daddy, with his arms wrapped around one leathah clad leg, gabblin up at him in that 'not quite a language' baby talk. I had to wondah what mosta tha world woulda thought if they'd seen tha look on Unc's face right then. It was... (ah, gods, don't let him know I'm sayin this, 'kay?) sweet. He wiped it real quick when he saw I was there, but his expression didn't close up completely.

Joxer stopped a little more than a yard away from them, squattin down ta be on a level with Cord. Cord was a good lookin kid. He was a sturdy lil guy, with that melon belly most babies get. He had Ares dark hair an' Joxer's chocolate brown eyes, pale skin, an' smile. When he saw Jox he gave him that smile full force, jabberin at him. He let go of Ares with one arm an' waved at Joxer.

"Hi, baby. Have you been having fun with Papa?"

Accord hugged Ares again. "Pa pa pa pa!"

"He's been getting some good exercise. He loves this room. Besides the fact that it echos when he raises his voice, he has all this smooth, marble floor."

"Yah. It's gotta be easiah on tha knees than tile or wood," I said.

Joxer an' Ares exchanged looks. "Oh, we can do better than that," said Joxer. He held out his arms toward Accord. Accord let go with one arm again an' waved it at Joxer. Now I could tell that he was askin Daddy ta get him. "No, that's too far for me to go. You come over here."

Tha arm waved more frantically. "Da da." Joxer just crooked his fingahs. Cord flapped his arm hardah than Bliss flaps his wings when he takes off. "Da da!" Cord was bouncin now. "Da da!"

"Come on."

"Ah!" Cord let go of Ares. I squinched my eyes almost shut, waitin fah him ta drop on his butt. He wavered, but when he started ta lean he swung his foot forward an' stayed upright. He wobbled a second, then swung tha othah leg. His bare foot made a little slappin sound when it came down. He wobbled. He was leadin with that watermelon belly, an' his elbows were bent, hands up around his shouldahs. Cord swung tha opposite leg again, then sorta lunged. Joxer caught him, floppin down on his butt, huggin Cord as they both giggled.

"I'll be damned!" I said. I reached down an' slid my hands unda Cord's arms, liftin him up. He squealed happily, throwin his arms around my neck. "Yer walkin, kid! Ya joined tha upright!" I grinned at Ares. "Can I still call him a rug rat?"

Ares scowled, but his eyes were proud. "He's still going to be going on all fours most of the time for awhile yet. Just be sure you smile when you say it."

"Don't I always? Um..." I handed Accord ta Ares as Joxer stood up. Joxie moved next ta Ares, an' hugged him an' Cord. "I, uh, wanna thank you two fah takin Imp fah tha night. Ya may very well have saved me an' Cupe's sanity."

Ares smirked. "I thought it was too late for you, Strife."

I giggled. "May very well be, but I'm havin way too much fun."

Joxer laid his head on Ares's shouldah, strokin his chest. "Believe me, Strife, we understand how it is. I was ready to go make a thank you offering on everyone's altar when Cord started sleeping through the night." Accord reached ovah an' patted Joxer on tha cheek. Joxer grinned an' kissed his son's hand, then pretended ta nibble his fingahs, makin Cord giggle. "Why don't you get home to your husband? Two o'clock is going to come more quickly than you expect."

"Shit! Yeah! Thanksagaingottago."

Flash!

I appeahed in our bedroom. It was dark, except fah tha hundred or so candles on every flat surface. That is every flat surface 'cept tha bed. That had black sheets softah an' smoothah than Imp's butt, an' it was scattahed with rose petals. Ooo. Cupe had been busy.

"Where ya at, lover? Daddy's home, an' he's randy as a flock of satyrs!"

Flap!

I felt a rush of wind an' turned just in time ta see Cupid, nekkid as tha day 'Dite let loose of him, eyes flashin about a dozen different colahs, swoopin down on me from a perch ovah tha door where he'd been layin in wait, tha sexy booger. I had time ta yell before he grabbed me an' I was half dragged, half carried ovah onta tha bed, landin with him on toppa me.

sigh Gods, I love a good ambush!

When we landed tha wrestlin commenced. It had been a long time since we'd had tha place ta ourselves. Shall I just say that neitha wunna us was less than vocal? Feathahs flew. So did scraps of leathah. He had me as nekkid as he was in a coupla minutes. Someone uninformed who saw that mighta thought there was a little coersion goin on, but believe me, it was mutual. Tha only coersion was of tha 'what tha fuck is takin ya so long?' kind. When skin hit skin it really got hot.

We hadn't drawn up any kinda schedule as ta what tha agenda would be. We just knew that we both wanted ta have as much sex as was physically possible. We ain't perpetual motion machines, but bein a god does give ya a certain amount of stamina beyond that of mere mortals, and yeah, I'm tryin ta make ya jealous. smirk Is it workin?

Anyway, it was sorta 'whoevah gets ta tha ass first', an' I won tha sweepstakes. Cupe may have me on bulk, but I can usually beat him on slippery. I managed ta flip him ovah on his belly. I had my fingahs oiled an' was partin those sweet cheeks before he even had time ta fold his wings. I found a surprise. Tha cute lil pucker I'd been expectin was sportin a wide butt plug. I was immediately as hard as a rock. "Cupe! What tha Tartarus?"

He looked back ovah his shouldah, grinnin at me. "I know how worried you always are about being sure I'm properly stretched, and I love it when you finger fuck me, babe, but I wanted to be good to go for you."

I chuckled. "That explains why ya been walkin like ya had a stick up yer butt tha last coupla hours."

"Strife? Less talk, more dick."

"Yer wish is my, an' all that." I eased out tha plug. His asshole stayed a little spread, glistenin at me. I couldn't resist. I leaned down an' planted a big kiss, with a little tongue thrown in.

Cupe groaned an' squirmed. "Strife! Get that cock in me right now!"

He spread his legs, an' I knelt in tha space... Okay, I can't help it. I've spent way too much time in tha Hall of Time, an' way too much of that time listenin ta future generations's music. "I'm comin home I done my tiiiime. Now I gotta know what is an' isn't miiiine..."

"Yessir!" I shoved, an' we both yelped. I know it had ta have ached a little, even as open as he was, but I also know that it was exactly what we both wanted.

Oh. Ohohohohooooo. Please don't think I'm any kinkier than I am when I say bliss! I can't help it if tha kid's name fits tha situation perfectly. Rapture. Ecstacy. Uh... Shit. I don't have a thesaurus available right now, but ya get my drift.

Cupe mighta loosened himself up, but when I got inside it felt as tight as a fist. It was hotter than tha fire pits of Tartarus, wettah an' softah than a peeled peach, an' twice as sweet. I went even crazier than I usually am. 'Thrust' is too gentle a word. I lunged, I pounded, I made like a pile drivah. Oo, mmm, uh...

pause

Frustrates tha hell outta ya, doesn't it? smirk I'll try. Fah tha first bit Cupe just moaned an' squirmed. I had enough presence of mind ta tilt his hips so I could hit his sweet spot, ovah an' ovah. That really sparked it. Hoo, he started buckin harder'n a veteran rodeo bronco. If I hadn't been so determined he'da pitched me off, but I wasn't goin anywhere fah a long time.

Oh, an' he said tha sweetest things. Can't remembah it all, but 'fuck me!' figured inta it a good deal. It's a good thing we sleep onna platform bed, 'cause we sure as Tartarus woulda broke that sucker. I held off longah than I woulda expected, but I'll admit that it wasn't any marathon. Pretty soon my balls seized up an' I didn't even have time ta try an' hold back before I was gushin. Just as I did Cupe bore down inside, squeezin me. I thought tha toppa my head blew off, but I checked latah, an' there wasn't any brains on tha ceilin, so I guess it didn't.

I dropped on him, but then I rolled ovah, still inside 'im an' pullin 'im with me, grabbed his cock, an' stroked, hard an' fast. He squirmed, tha feathahs rubbin all ovah me, then he thrashed hard, cryin my name. I felt that beautiful cock jerk in my hands, an' then my fingahs were slidin even easiah in Cupe's spunk.

We both lay there pantin. I let my hands slide up ta rest on Cupid's heavin belly, croonin, "Baby, baby, baby."

He turned his head an' managed ta kiss me, then licked a rose petal offa my arm an' ate it. "That was reeeeal good. For starters."

I found enough strength ta laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~

Look, I know ya want details, but I sweah, I can't remembah all of it. Honest. Just lotsa nice flashes. Cupe workin that second fingah inta my ass while he bit me on tha shouldah. Suckin a purple patch on tha inside of his thigh while he swore at me (but gently) ta get my mouth on his cock where it belonged. Tha way he tenderly wiped me clean aftah he accidentally jerked out durin sixty-nine an' gave me tha sorta facial Dite doesn't mention.

We didn't so much fall asleep as lapse inta unconsciousness. I dunno how long I slept, but I woke up right around 2 am. Imp had me trained already. I tried ta get ta her before tha whimpahs woke up Cupe. I figured that when she went on tha milk skin he'd get his share.

I kinda half sleepwalked inta Imp's room. Bangin inta tha doorframe didn't really do much ta wake me up. I nevah really felt fully rested, with tha feedin schedule, an' I'd just gotten through almost drainin my batteries with Cupe. I was so groggy that it didn't even occur ta me that I'd bettah wake up before I tried ta handle my kid. I mighta even dropped her, but it didn't come ta that. I reached inta tha cradle. My hands didn't hit baby right away, an' I felt around fah a couple seconds till it hit me. No Imp. I went from snooze ta hyper in a flash.

"Cupid!"

That tone of voice an' his full name? He hit tha floor before he was awake. I think he made it inta tha room before he got his eyes open. "Strife, what is it?"

I grabbed him. "Imp's gone! Somebody snatched Imp! Who do I kill?"

He grabbed me back. "Strife, honey, calm down!"

"But Imp..."

"Imp is with Ares and Joxer, remember?"

Sanity (or somethin like it) returned. "Oh, shit." I dropped my head on his shouldah. "Check with Hades ta see if I just arrived. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped."

He hugged me. "It's okay, lover. It's okay."

I wiped my eyes. "No, it ain't. I'm late fah Imp's feedin. She's gonna be pissed with me."

He kissed me, an' when he pulled back we were both dressed. "Let's hurry, then."

"Cupe, you don't hafta."

"Yes, I do. She may need you, but I need both of you. Let's go."

We flashed inta Unc an' Joxer's bedroom. It was dim--there was only a single candle on a table by a chair across from tha bed. Unc was sleepin, tangled up in tha sheets, but Joxer was sittin in tha chair, holdin Imp. I went ovah ta him. "Geez, Jox, I'm sorry I'm late! Did Imp give ya too much grief?"

"No, not much. She squalled a little, but she quieted down as soon as I gave her the milk."

I blinked. "Joxie, ya wet nursin Imp?"

"Oh, no. My milk has just about dried up. Accord is on the skin now."

"What? Then how...?" Joxer pointed ta a flat milk skin layin on tha table. "Ya mean Imp took it?"

"Oh, she made a few faces at first, then she settled down and gobbled."

I blinked, then looked at Cupid. I dropped down on tha edge of tha bed, starin out inta space. Cupid came an' sat nexta me. "Babe?" He touched my shoulder. "Babe, are you crying?"

Joxer sighed. "Oh, dear."

I leaned on Cupe an' bawled. "My baby doesn't need me anymore!"

"Oh, for Zeus's sake," I heard Ares groan. "What now?"

"I been replaced by a fuckin animal hide fulla moo juice, that's what!"

He sat up, starin at me. "What?"

Cupid was pattin me on tha back. "Imp just had her first non-breast feeding, and Strife is feeling a little insecure."

Ares yawned, then ta my surprise he scooted ovah an' gave my hair a brief rub. "Stop it, you idiot. You were going to have to start supplimenting soon, anyway. Didn't Ace tell you how it was with Joxer? You just aren't built to produce milk like a woman, so you make less, and it's going to dry up sooner. Imp's eating more, isn't she?"

"You tellin me? Seems like I spend half tha day nursin her."

"There you go. It won't be long till she has a hard time getting enough milk, and you don't want her to go hungry, do you?"

"If I didn't think ya would slap my head off I'd ask if ya were stupid."

"There you go. Strife," he put an arm around my shouldah, "you're Imp's daddy. Now, granted that being your child she's bound to be an independent wench, she's still going to need you--always. There are going to be a lot of little advances that will seem to take her farther away but believe me, as long as you love each other," now he reached ovah an tousled Cupe's hair, "you'll never lose each other. And if you tell anyone I said that mushy stuff, you'll regret it."

I sighed. "Thanks, Unc."

"You're welcome. Now, get your asses back home, make love some more, and let me and my husband sleep."

I got up an' went ovah ta where Joxer had just put Imp down in tha cradle. She lay on her tummy, head turned away. I bent down an' stroked her little wings. They rustled undah my hand. I bent further an' brushed my lips ovah tha back of her head.

aaahhh?

"Sh, baby, go ta sleep. Daddy'll be back tamarrah ta bring ya home."

Joxer smiled. "She knows your voice."

"Ya think?" I bent down again, ticklin her undah tha wings. "Gootchie, gootchie, ya little booger."

uuuaaaah

Her head wobbled. I felt a stab of excitement. "Cupe! Get ovah here!"

He came ovah. "What is it?"

"Say somethin ta Imp." He shrugged. "Hello, sweet girl. You need to be good to your daddy when you get home. He's feeling a little rocky."

aaaaahhhhm

Cupe stood straighter. "Strife, her head's really wobbling!"

"Watch, watch! C'mon, Imp. Looka Daddy!"

Slowly, slowly Imp's head moved. Her chin barely cleared tha sheet fah a second, then her cheek flopped back down, but she was now facin toward us! I pumped my fist in the air. "Yeah! Didya see that?"

Joxer was grinnin, an' Ares had his hand ovah his mouth, an' was makin funny noises. I didn't care. I bent back inta tha cradle an' pressed my lips ta my daughtah's cheek, drinkin in that beautiful baby smell. "I love ya, Beautiful. Get some rest. Ya must be tired out by now."

I stood up, straightenin my shirt. "Tha child is obviously a buddin genius."

Cupid took me in his arms. "Obviously. Now, let's get back home." He snugged me up against him. "I got a supply of that chocolate from Mom. I have this idea about warming it just still it melts, then painting it all over you, paying particular attention to certain areas, and removing it..." he wiggled his tongue at me, "the natural way."

Invention is a wonderful thing.

"If she's wrapped in a blanked, that doesn't count," Cupid said.

"That metal scale is fuckin' cold, Cupe. I ain't laying Imp on it 'less she's wrapped, or it's covered," I said firmly.

"Understandable, babe. Hmm... Okay, we weigh the blanket, then allow for it."

"Sounds logical. Lemme check ta make sure her diddie is clean."

"Strife..."

"Hey, liquids can be heavy, 'kay? An' you know how much poop she can produce."

"I should. I'm rather proud of the fact that I don't dodge diaper patrol." I gave 'im a look. "All right, I don't dodge it often. You know, it never ceases to amaze me how much Imp poops. I mean, she's still on a liquid diet."

I draped Imp ovah my forearm, hooked a fingah in tha back of her diapah, an' pulled. I looked an' sniffed. I'd learned tha hard way that ya didn't just shove a fingah down in there. It looked all clear, so I ventured a check. Imp rustled her wings an' made a noise. "Sorry, kid. Did I tickle? My hand cold? Nothin' there, Cupe."

"Why don't you just weigh her naked?"

"Remembah what happened tha last time we tried that?" He winced. Imp had objected ta tha cold pan, had gotten adgitated, an'... Well, tenny babies don't have control of their potty functions even when they're calm an' peaceful, ya know. Bleh. "When all her hair fell out, I thought it might make a difference, but it didn't."

"I think she was gaining, so that offset it. Are you ready now?"

"Yah. Got tha dinars ready?" Cupe held up a bag. "Ya sure they're one ounce each?"

He sighed. "Strife, have they ever been anything else?"

"I just wanna be sure. Weigh tha blanket." He did. It came ta three dinars.

"Okay." Cupid put a fingah on tha empty pan, pushin it down on tha table. I carefully laid Imp on tha blanket covahed pan, arrangin her on her tummy so her wings weren't squashed. I let go, but cupped my hands just ovah her incase she decided ta learn how ta roll ovah right at that very minute. "Here we go." Cupid started loading dinars on that othah pan.

"Don't ya do it a handful at a time," I warned. "I want an accurate count. One by one."

"...sixteen. One pound. One, two... Will you be quiet? You'll make me lose count, and we'll have to start over. Three, four, five..." When he reached fourteen pounds tha pan Imp was layin on lifted--just a hairsbreadth, but it wasn't pressed down by Imp's weight. Cupid kept pilin, an' the pan slowly rose.

He hit fourteen an' six, and Imp wasn't quite half-way up. "Zeus, Cupe! She weighed this much two weeks ago!"

"I know, hon. Be still. Seven, eight..." Sl-o-w-l-y she rose. "Nine, ten..."

"Cupe, are ya SURE they're a full ounce? Ya couldn't've gotten shaved ones, maybe."

"Hush! Eleven, twelve..." The pans came level. Cupid held his hand ovah tha pan, then gently set anothah dinar in tha pile. That side started ta dip, an' he removed it. "That's it, Strife. Fourteen pounds, twelve ounces."

I picked Imp up an' held her in fronta me, starin inta her green eyes. "Imp! Have ya been sneakin snacks without tellin me?"

*coo*

Cupid draped an arm ovah my shouldah. "I don't know where she'd find time. You feed her half the day."

I sighed. "Yer right--it must be my fault. But I can't stop till she's satisfied, an' it just takes longer an' longer. I think..." I bit my lip.

"What, babe?"

"I'm afraid I ain't gonna be able ta give her enough milk fah much longah. I think it's startin ta dry up."

He nodded. "Ace said that it would probably happen."

"But it's so soon! Imp ain't even seen one season yet. What am I gonna do?"

"You're going to start supplimenting with a milk skin, and gradually wean her onto it so that when the milk does dry up there will be no disruption. And don't start that 'my baby won't need me' nonsense," he warned. I shook my head. I'd gotten ovah that complex, at least till Imp was ready ta start goin out ta be tutored, an' that would be awhile. He took Imp from me, rubbin noses with her. "Honestly, Impgirl! When I think of how your daddy freaked at the very idea of breastfeeding, and now he's all worried about stopping it."

Durin this conversation, Imp wasn't just hangin there in his hands. Nope. Her lil legs were pumpin up an' down like she was ridin wunna those single person, two wheel horse substitutes I've seen in tha Hall of Time. I think they call 'em bickles, or somethin. Her lil fists were wavin, an' so were her wings.

I tickled her undah tha wings, feelin tha feathahs, soft as silk, brush against tha back of my hands. Her legs pumped even hardah, an' she opened her lil rosebud mouth. *aaaaaahhh*

I sat up straightah. "Cupe, that wasn't a fuss!" He put his hand undah her butt, feelin. "I'm tellin you, it ain't a fuss."

*aaaaah*

"She's tryin ta talk ta ya, Cupe!" I bounced on tha bed.

*uuuuhhhhiiieeh*

I stood on tha bed an' bounced! "Strife! Strife! She's tryin ta say my name!" Imp looked at me, surprised, an' hiccupped, then started bawlin. I dropped down nexta Cupe an' wailed, "Aw, crap! I scared her inta stoppin! I bet I traumatized her, an' now she's gonna be mute fah tha rest of her life! It's all my faulty!"

Cupid had laid Imp on his shouldah an' was calmly jouncin her up and down. His voice was low, but firm. "Strife!" I froze. He said gently, "Chill, okay?"

I relaxed a little. "Okay."

"You just startled her is all. Damn, babe, how much sugar have you had lately?"

I picked at tha sheets, avoidin his eyes. "Why dya ask?"

He silently got up an' laid tha now quiet baby on tha bed. Then he squatted an' peered undah it. Shit, I knew I shoulda cleaned before he came home. He looked up at me and sighed. "Okay, Strife. Twinkies or Jolt, not both at the same time."

I rubbed tha toe of my boot on tha floor. "They was havin a special?" He stared at me. "All right. Cupe, ya don't suppose that all tha sugar I eat transfers ta Imp an' that's what's makin her fat?"

"Strife, she's not fat."

I rolled Imp on her side an' tickled her belly. "Yah? What about this? She has a gut." I made a face at tha baby. "Not that ya ain't beautiful, sweetheart. I love every chubby dinar's worth of ya."

"Babies have different body proportions from adults."

"They do?"

"Sure. Haven't you noticed that her head-to-body ratio is large when you compare it to yourself?"

"Now that ya mentioned it, but I thought that was just 'cause she had a super sized brain. I mean, we've already settled tha fact that she's a genius." I laid Imp back on her belly. Her head popped up an' she looked around. She was gettin good at that.

"Look, a growth spurt isn't unexpected. If she starts moving toward giantess levels, then we'll start to worry." He tickled Imp's feet, an' she kicked. "She's just a big girl--that's all." Now he made a face at her. "All the better to whip the butts of fresh boys."

"Tha second she hits puberty I'm askin Hades if we can borrow Cerberus ta keep watch on her. I seem ta recall that he has a taste fah horny guys, considerin how much he chased my ass when I was down there."

Cupid grunted. "Just remember, she's got Dite for a grandma, and us for parents. I don't think it will be possible for her to be naive for long. I mean, Bliss already knows the basics."

"Well, we'll keep her away from tha culicues fah as long as we can."

I noticed that Imp was tryin ta do somethin. At first I figured she was just exercising her right ta make a mess in her diapah, but finally decided that wasn't it. But she was sure tryin hard ta do somethin. Her little face was squooshed up inna intent look, green eyes squinted, forehead wrinkled up ta tha arrow of green-brown peachfuzz (yah, she got a widow's peak. If she was any cuter it might be lethal). She was makin tha same sorta little grunts of concentration an' effort that usually signalled a poop, too. "Cupe, look at Imp. What's she up to?"

Cupid examined her closely. Imp's head fell ta tha side. At tha same time she pushed with tha opposite arm an' leg. She turned pink with exertion. "I think she's trying to turn over." I reached toward her, but he stopped me. "No, let her alone for a minute. She has to learn to do this sometime."

"But what about her wings?"

"If she makes it, we'll only let her stay that way for a minute or two. Anyway, the bed is soft--the wings shouldn't get bent."

"Shouldn't ain't won't."

"Honey, she'll let us know if she's uncomfortable. Remember the time you accidentally poked her with a pin?" I winced. It hadn't been deep, but that wasn't tha point. There'd been a spot of blood, an' Imp had squalled like a harpie with her tit in a wringah. Add ta that tha fact that I was about a half-step from hysterical, an' it wasn't one of my bettah memories. Luckily Cupe was home. I spent an hour cryin an' shakin. Imp got ovah it a lot quicker than I did.

Imp fell back on her belly an' fussed for a second, then started strainin again. This went on fah about ten minutes. Strain, relax. Strain, relax. Strain, relax. I looked at Cupid. "Cupe, we may be in trouble. She's provin ta be a persistant lil cuss."

He kissed me. "She gets it from me. I had to keep after her daddy for ages till he finally saw the light." He suddenly smacked himself on the forehead. "What am I thinking? Or not thinking? If this is going to happen I want to record it. Where did we put that recording mirror Demeter gave us?" He jumped up an' tore around tha room, tossin stuff all ovah, babbling, "Not yet, Imp! Wait! Wait!" He finally found it an hustled back, holding up tha mirror so that tha bed was reflected in it. "0kay, sweetie, go ahead."

Don't let anyone tell ya you can't communicate with a baby. Just as he said this Imp made her supreme effort. She turned red in tha face. Her lil body bowed, her offside arm an' leg stiffened, her head jerked ta tha side, an' her body sorta followed it ovah. Blink, an' she was layin on her back, legs kickin, an', I swear, a smug look on her face.

Cupid crowed, "Got it!"

"This calls fah celebration!" I bent down, pressed a kiss on Imp's beautiful watermelon belly, an' blew tha longest, juciest, buzzinest raspberry possible. Imp gasped, then... Um... Chortled? It wasn't quite a chuckle or a giggle, but it was definitely a laugh--her first. I looked up eagerly. "Didya get it?"

Cupid beamed, tha smile splittin his face ear ta ear. "I sure did! You know that we're going to have to mount a guard over this once Dad and Mom see it."

"Maybe Heph can figure out a way ta make duplicates." I picked Imp up an' cuddled her. "Aftah all, it would hardly be fair of us ta keep such a wondah ta ourselves."

"Just think--before we know it she'll be crawling, then standing up, then walking, then flying... At least I hope she walks before she flies."

I whispahed in Imp's ear as Cupe kept speculatin on all her future milestones. "Don't be in a hurry ta grow up, honey. I'll carry ya fah as long as ya want." She nuzzled against my cheek, lil rosebud lips plantin an open, moist, baby-kiss. "Fahevah."

"Strife, are you sure she's ready for this?"

"We'll nevah know till we try, Cupe. Anyways, it ain't as if we're askin her ta run in those new athletic meets they're talkin about namin aftah Olympus. Snap up a few more really soft pillahs." He did. "Okay, pile 'em up, then kinda punch a nice niche in tha middle."

Cupid piled tha pillows on tha bed, against tha wall. Then he used tha side of his hand ta kinda chop a depression right in tha middle. I hefted Imp up an' looked in her face. She stared back at me, suckin on her fist. "Okay, kiddo. Ya ready ta take anothah step toward bein an adult?" She stuck out her tongue, an' I snickered. "I love ya, too, Impy. Here we go."

I took her ovah ta tha bed an' settled her on her teeny butt, then leaned her back against tha pillows, so that they kinda squooshed out on eithah side of her. I kept holdin her, my hands undah her arms. She looked up at me an' said somethin along tha lines of *baah muh*.

I stood there a little more, an' Cupe said, "Strife? You have to let go for us to find out if she's ready to sit up."

"Don't be in such a hurry."

I heard tha patter of feet, an' Bliss came up, peerin up at me undah my arm. "Stwife? You said you was gonna come see the temple I built." Bliss had been on a buildin kick with tha wooden blocks Joxer had given him for his last birthday.

"Yah, sure, kid. In a minute. We're gonna see if Imp can sit up."

"Oh." He didn't sound too enthusiastic, but I didn't pay much attention.

"Back up a little, son," said Cupid. "You're kind of under Strife's feet there. You don't want him to stumble while he's holding Imp." Bliss backed up, frowning. "Okay, Strife, it's time. Let go."

I kinda moved my hands ta tha side. I wasn't touchin her, but there wasn't but a half inch between her an' my hands. I stayed right there, ready ta catch her if she started ta tip ovah. She didn't. She didn't even wobble. She just kinda leaned back, slumpin a little. Tha pillows were real soft, so her little wings weren't squashed. I dared ta move my hands a little farthah away. She waved her arms, an' started ta tip. I started ta shove my hands back in place, but she stopped tippin an' just sat there, tilted a little ta tha side.

"She did it!" Cupe an' I did a high five. "Coolness!" I bent down, grinnin at Bliss. "Howsabout it, Bliss? Aint'cha proud of yer little sister?"

He looked at Imp, then back at me. Then he clapped his hands tagethah, real slow, three times, turned around, an' left. Cupid blinked. "If I didn't know him better, I'd say he was being sarcastic."

I gave Cupe a pityin look. "I know sarcasm, an' that was sarcasm. What's up with him? He's usually so excited about whatevah Imp does. I think I bettah go have a look at that temple he built. Don't leave her sittin for too long, 'kay?"

I went ta Bliss's room. He'd managed ta push his bed against tha wall, leavin tha middle of tha room open, an' had rolled up his rug. He was sittin in tha middle of a big, open square of blocks. Tha walls were so high that all I could see was tha top of his head curly gold head. I went ovah an' peeked down at him. "Hey." He looked up at me, then looked down without sayin anythin.

I squatted down. "No roof?"

"I haven't figured out how to do a slanty roof. I don't want to do just a flat one."

"We'll talk ta Heph. Maybe he can figure somethin out. Tell me, Bliss, how'd ya get in there without knockin it down?"

"I flew."

"Really? I didn't know ya had that much control of yer landin."

His bottom lip stuck out. "Well, I'm not surprised. You haven't paid much attention to me."

*Uh-oh.* I tried ta keep my voice casual. "Ya think?"

"I been waiting for you to come see my temple forever, for at least three hours."

Well, I guess three hours seems like forevah when yer Bliss's age. An' he had asked me ta come look at tha temple more than once. Come ta think of it, he'd asked Cupid, too. I don't think he came in ta look, eithah.

"Sorry about that, kiddo. Imp had a bubble that just wouldn't come up, an' it was makin her cranky."

He scowled. "She's always cranky lately."

"Well, she's got somethin called colic, Ace says." He snorted. "Hey, watch it! Cupe tells me you bawled pretty much from two months ta four months, continually. Cut Imp some slack." Bliss didn't reply. He poked at one of the blocks, leavin a neat hole in tha wall. "If ya keep doin that, yer gonna knock it down."

"So? Nobody's interested in it."

He shoved, an' tha wall crumbled, takin tha othah walls down, too. "Hey! Why'd ya do that?"

He jumped up, an' I was surprised ta see his face was flushed. He was angry. "I can do it 'cause it's mine." He picked up tha blanket that Imp had been layin on earlier. "And this is mine!" He ran out of the room.

In our bedroom I heard Cupe say, "Imp! Careful… Oops! Baby, what's got you so excited?" I hurried inta tha room ta find Cupe sittin on tha bed, holdin Imp. He looked up, recognized how worried I was, an' said quickly, "It's okay, hon. She just got agitated for some reason. She started kicking and waving her arms and flapping, and she pitched over, but she landed on the mattress."

"Well, thank goodness fah that! We'll just wait awhile ta try that again, won't we, booger?" I asked her. She stuck out her tongue again. I stuck mine out right back at her.

Cupid shook his head. "I have two brats."

I sat next ta him. "Ya got three. Bliss ain't exactly livin up ta his sweetness an' light image. He mentioned somethin about nobody payin attention ta him."

"Uh-oh."

"My thoughts exactly."

"But he seemed to be taking things so well. He loves Imp, I know it."

"Sure he does, but ya gotta remembah, Cupe, he was tha only baby for a long time. There's bound ta be a little adjustin, now that he's sharin tha spotlight."

Cupe looked guilty. "I haven't been spending as much time with him as I usually do and…" now he looked upset. "I think I wasn't all that attentive when I was with him. I've been preoccupied lately. It's spring--my busy season, you know. Add to that the fact that the Amazons are thinning out and Artemis finally gave permission for me to do something about it. I was scheduled to have a dozen of the Amazons fall in love with men, and you know what a bitch that is."

I answered reflexively. "Appropriate choice of words, cuz. An' what with gettin back ta work an' takin care of Lil Miss Green Eyes…" I felt guilty. "Crap. I haven't told him a story in a week."

Cupid looked miserable. "He was trying to tell me about something at dinner last night and I asked him to be quiet because Imp was spitting most of the formula back out."

"I told him I didn't have time ta preen his feathahs last night."

"I snapped at him when he brought me my quiver and spilled all the arrows." His tone was pleading. "I was worried that he was going to stick himself with something he wasn't ready for."

We stared at each othah, an' both sighed. "We're insensitve bastards, all right." He nodded in agreement. I got up. "I bettah go see if I can patch things up."

Before I could go anywhere, Bliss came outta Imp's room, carryin a stuffed bear. He glared at us. "This is mine, too."

"Imp!" Cupid tried ta hang onta our suddenly squirmin daughtah. I've nevah seen a baby so excited. Her lil arms an' legs were goin like windmills. Cupe had her up against his shouldah, an' when she flapped her wings she smacked him in tha face so hard I was surprised latah ta see that he didn't have a black eye. Cupid looked at me wildly. "Whaddid I do? Whaddid I do?" Bliss looked disgusted, turned, an' stomped back ta his room. That was quite an accomplishment, seein as how he was barefoot.

I wanted ta go aftah him, but both my husband an' my kid seemed ta be havin some sorta fit. I hurried ovah. "Give her ta me."

"I'm scared to let go! I'm afraid I'll drop her."

"Cupe! Gimme!"

He handed her ovah. I'm good at hangin onta small, squirmy things. Why, you ask? Ya got any idea how much mischief ya can cause with a well placed rat or snake? Drop a mouse down wunna tha Muses togas sometime.

I flashed Imp's diddie off an' gave her a quick once ovah, lookin for obvious signs of damage. I thought maybe wunna tha pins had snapped loose an' stuck her, but she looked fine. She looked terrific, in fact. Her skin almost glowed, an' her eyes were almost shootin green sparks. "I don't get it. She's not hurt."

*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*

"That ain't a 'I'm hurt' yell. It ain't a 'I'm wet' or 'I'm hungry' yell eithah."

"How can you be sure?"

I gave 'im a superior look. "A mothah knows. Nah, this is a 'I'm feelin too damn good an' excited ta keep my trap shut' yell." She started ta quiet down a little. Tha squealin stopped, an' she slowed down till it was only tha usual arm an' leg wavin. I dressed her again an' handed her ta Cupe. "I don't know what the hell it is. She don't seem ta have suffahed for it. Still, ya bettah run her ovah ta Ace an' have him take a look."

"Check. What about you?"

"I'm gonna stay here an' try ta make peace with Bliss." He flashed out an' I started for Bliss's room.

Bliss was sittin on his bed. He had tha blanket ovah his shouldahs, like a cape, tha bear tucked firmly undah his arm, an' his thumb plugged inta his mouth. With tha free hand he was windin a curl around his fingah. I hadn't seen him do that since he was about three. "Hey, can I come in?"

He unplugged long enough to say, "It's your house." Ooo, sullen. If I hadn't been worried about him, I'da enjoyed it.

I sat nexta him. "It's our house-you, an' me, an' Cupe, an' Imp. This is your room, but it's our house." Again he removed tha thumb. "I thought maybe you needed it for Imp."

"Bliss, why wouldya think that? Imp has her own room."

"Mine's bigger. I thought you'd want her to have it…" his voice dropped. "since you like her better." I felt my heart squeeze. I tried ta put my arm around his shouldahs, but he shrugged me off. That hurt. Back when I still considered myself a piss-poor excuse fah a sentient being, Bliss had been wunna tha few people who was always glad ta see me, an' nevah, nevah pulled away from me.

This time I managed ta get my arm around him. He tensed up, but he didn't pull away. "Whatevah gave you that idea?"

He looked up at me. "You only pay attention to Imp now." His bottom lip trembled. "You and Daddy both."

"Aw, Bliss." I hugged him, an' aftah a minute I felt him relax a little, leanin against me. "Honey, I'm sorry. We didn't mean anythin by it. It's just that Imp is such a teeny baby now. She can't do anythin for herself. We hafta do it all, an' yeah, it takes a lot of time. That's no excuse for ya feelin neglected, though. Me an' your Dad coulda put some things off a little while an' spent more time with ya."

"Yes, you could."

I laughed. "Not gonna let yer old man off tha hook easy, huh?"

"Nope."

"That's my boy." I stroked his hair, then started straightenin out some feathahs that had gotten mussed. "Things'll be different from now on, kiddo, I promise. I think I can talk yer Dad inta takin a picnic on tha beach tomarrah. How about that?" He nodded. "If ya want, we can leave Imp with Unc Ares or 'Dite."

He thought about it a minute, then said magnanimously. "No, she can come."

"Good boy."

We were quiet fah a minute as I got tha last of tha feathahs ta lay straight. His voice was very small, and he didn't look at me when he said, "Stwife? It's all right."

"What's all right?"

"If you don't love me anymore. I understand."

Well, that shocked tha shit outta me! I turned him around. "Explain that, please."

"Well, you gots Imp now." He became fascinated with wunna tha chrome studs on my leathahs. "I understand if you only gots enough love for her 'n Daddy."

"You think cause there's anothah child in tha family, I don't have enough love fah botha ya?"

"You gots to divide it up more ways," he said, his tone of voice sayin this was only logical.

"That ain't tha way it works, kiddo." I stood up, takin his hand. "C'mon, I'll show ya."

I led him back inta our room an' got him ta climb up onna chair at tha table. I materialized three bowls, half full of watah. "All right," I said, pointin at one bowl. "Here's Bliss." He stared at tha bowl, then looked at me like maybe everyone who said I was crazy was right. "Work with me here." I pointed ta the second bowl, sittin beside tha first one. "This is Cupid, hunky God of Love, an' daddy ta Bliss." I pointed ta tha third bowl, sittin a little apart from tha othah two. "This is Strife, sexy God of Mischief."

Bliss looked at all three bowls, an' ya could almost see a candle pop inta bein ovah his head as he got tha idea. I dabbled my fingah in each bowl. "This is love. Cupid an' Bliss were both fulla love. Then along came Strife." I set tha third bowl with tha first two, an' dabbled my fingah in it. "He was fulla love, too, only there was a big ass cake of ice ovah it, an' Cupid an' Bliss had to melt it ta get ta tha good stuff. But then there was lots of love ta share."

I picked up a bowl and poured some watah inta tha one nexta it. "Cupe gave love ta Bliss." I poured some in tha othah. "An he gave love ta Strife." I put down tha bowl, then picked up anothah an' started pourin. "Bliss gave love ta his Daddy, an' his Daddy Strife." I picked up tha bowl that represented me. "Strife gave it right back ta botha them."

Bliss eyed tha bowls. "There's the same as there was to start."

"Yep. Now, listnen closely. Along came a lil future mischief maker named Impetua." I materialized a fourth bowl. "Whoa, everybody loved Imp." I started pourin. When I picked up Bliss's bowl I said, "Even her big brothah."

When I set the bowl back down, Imp's bowl was almost overflowin. Bliss looked at it sadly. "Look at all the love Imp got."

"I ain't done yet. Then Imp just loved everybody right back." I poured from Imp's bowl, measuring a little 'love' inta each bowl, then set it down with tha othahs. "Now, notice anythin?"

Bliss peered at the bowls closely. Finally he looked up at me, undahstandin dawnin on his face. "There's just as much love as there was before."

"Give tha man a cookie. Yer right, Bliss. Imp brought her own love with her, an' now we're all just passin it around amongst us." I touched his head gently. "Bliss, yer Dad an' me couldn't love you any less. We can only love you more. That's how it is with parents an' kids." I thought. "Well, that's the way it's s'posed ta be, an' it is here."

Bliss looked abashed. "Ooo, I been bad."

I hugged him. "Nah." I chuckled. "If ya weren't a god I'd say ya were just bein human, but I guess I'll say ya were just bein young."

He hugged back this time. "Stwife, is Imp okay?" He sounded worried. "She was making an awful fuss."

"I think so, kid. Yer Dad took her ta see Ace, an' if nothins wrong he should be back…"

*Flash*

"Any minute now. Cupe, what did Ace say?"

Cupid was smilin, but his expression was funny. I think it mixed pride with apprehension. "She's fine. It just has to do with who and what she is." Bliss had gone ovah, reached up, an' was strokin tha baby's head. She gurgled at him, tryin ta catch his hand. She wasn't co-ordinated enough yet. "Hi, baby. Look, I'm sorry if I haven't been…"

"It's okay, Daddy," Bliss assured him. "Stwife explained how you only gots even more love when a baby comes."

"He did?" Cupid looked relieved.

"He said we can have a picnic at the beach tomorrow."

Now Cupid arched an eyebrow at me. "Oh, he did, did he?" I knew he was thinkin about tha list of chores, a scroll as long as his arm, that he still had ta do. He looked down at Bliss an' smiled. "After that, how about if we visit the Muses and see if they have any new stories for you?" Bliss almost bounced up an' down.

"Now that our plans for tomarrah are set, will ya please explain about Imp?"

Cupid sat down, cradlin tha now sleepin baby. "Like I said, it's because of who and what she is. What is she, Strife?"

"Well, duh. She's our kid."

"And?"

"An' Bliss's baby sistah." Bliss nodded vigorously.

"And?"

I blew outta breath. "Sometimes, mistah, ya can take tha teasin too far."

"Her title, Strife."

"Goddess of Jealousy an'…" I trailed off, my eyes goin wide. I looked at Imp. I looked at Bliss. I looked at Cupid.

He nodded. "Thanks to sibling rivalry Imp got her first burst of energy," he patted Bliss affectionately, "courtesy of Big Brother. She didn't know how to cope with it."

"Shit!" I peered at Imp. "Ain't she a little young fah that? I mean, I don't think I started tappin inta my worshipah's energy till I was, like, eight or nine."

"Yes, it's unusual. But then again, we're an unusual family."

I shook my head, sighin. "Ya know, I think maybe we better talk ta Ace about some sort of tonic ta build us up." I looked at my now peacefully sleeping daughtah. "I gotta feelin we're gonna need it."

"Strife, it's only going to be a couple of hours. I'm sure one baby bag will be enough." Cupid pulled tha third bag outta my hands an started ta sort some stuff from tha second one inta tha first.

"I just wanna be prepared."

"I know, babe, but believe me, you won't need more than ten diapers, not even at the rate Imp can dribble."

I fidgeted. "What's takin 'Dite so long? How long does it take ta dress a baby?"

"Hello? This is my Mom we're talking about here, and this is the first little GIRL she's managed to get her hands on in centuries. This is the woman who can have an orgasm picking out accessories, remember?"

"What was I thinkin of, handin our daughtah ovah to her? I love 'Dite, an' all that, but ya gotta admit, her choice of wardrobe is eithah sugary or obscene. I'm afraid Imp is gonna end up in a hip huggah dieddie an' a tube top."

"Imp has no hips, and she couldn't wear a tube top because of the wings. Just chill. I told Mom to keep it down to under two pounds of lace and under no circumstances to use sequins, rhinestones, or glitter."

I giggled. "Tryin ta give her a stroke from frustration, huh?"

"Ever since she put Bliss in short velvet pants."

"I gotta give her credit--she's invented a coupla items that are gonna be REAL useful in my work a ways down tha line."

"Such as?"

"Well, a lotta women are gonna wear somethin called a 'brassier'--sorta a chest sling."

Cupid's forehead puckered. "What kind of mischief could that cause?"

I started tickin off on my fingahs. "One, it's gonna pinch like hell." He winced, and I nodded. "Two, many people will base their value system fah women solely on what size bra... That's tha nickname--bra. I'm gonna plug 'ovah tha shouldah bouldah holdah', too. They'll evaluate a woman's worth by her bra size. Three, they give a lotta opportunities fah dodgin tha 'truth in advertisin' thing. Ya know," I chuckled, "makin mountains outta molehills? An' last, but not least--four, ya got any idea how many guys are gonna go nuts tryin ta figuah out how ta open tha clasp?"

"You're right, you two are perfect co-conspirators."

"An' I ain't even told ya about tha joke undahweah." I slid him a sidelong glance. "Somethin butt ugly called boxah shorts, but they can be kinda cute with tha right decoration. I wouldn't mind seein ya in a pair with tha kissy lips all ovah them."

He leered, pullin me close. "I wouldn't mind seeing some kissy lips all over my underwear, but we don't have to bother with boxer shorts."

Bliss came inta tha room right about then, so we put an inch or two of space between us. Not much--Bliss is a savvy little guy. He knows his daddies love each othah, an' he knows that leads ta some seriously involved cuddlin. I'm not entirely sure he knows tha 'tab A goes in slot B' mechanics, an' I don't intend ta be tha one ta tell him if he don't. Oh, it ain't that I'd be embarrassed. Heck no, I'm just lookin forward ta watchin Cupe try ta explain it. I got tha feelin that, Love God or no, he's gonna do some serious stammerin when Bliss looks at him with those big blue eyes an' asks how ya make babies.

He was wearin... a skirt?! "Bliss, whaddafuck is that?" I pointed.

"Strife!" Cupid scolded.

"All right, all right. I was startled, okay? What tha heck is that?"

Bliss looked down at tha garish garment. It was a sorta cross hatch of black, yellow, green, an' lots an' lotsa red. He sighed. "Ise not sure. Gramma said it's a kilt. I asked her what she kilt to make it, cause I never saw anything that color, an' she said a tartan, an' I told her she should leave the tartans alone cause I was pretty sure they must be a 'dangered specimen, an' Auntie Artie might get mad at her." He sighed again. "She said I had to wear it anyways."

I was almost chokin. On tha one hand tha mere sight of such a garment did my sense of tha ridiculous a world of good. On tha othah hand, I love tha squirt an' would rathah have him humiliated as little as possible. "Cupe, what are we gonna do about this?"

Cupid shrugged. "Us? Nothing. You know what a hissy Mom would have if I re-dressed him."

"But... but Cupe! Ya can't leave him ta tha mercy of what Apollo will say. I mean, fah Zeus's sake..." I waved a hand. "it's pleated!"

"I repeat--we will do nothing." He crooked a fingah at Bliss. "C'mere, baby boy." Bliss trotted ovah, an' Cupe bent down an' whispahed in his ear. Bliss had looked glum, but he started gigglin.

When Cupe stood back up I said, "Give."

He shook his head. "This is between Bliss and myself. You've never had to suffer this--my son and I have both had to deal with 'your mama dresses you funny'."

'Dite came bustlin inta tha room, carryin Imp. "Here's the little princess, ready for her first audience with the world, and looking absolutely gorgeous!" 'Dite tittered. "She must've gotten a lot of my genes."

"We can only hope that yer modesty is included, 'Dite." I held out my hands, an' Dite gave me Imp. Imp looked up at me an' said, *daahaa muh* I took a look at her outfit. "I agree, kiddo. Day-um, but yer lookin good." I held her up so that her legs dangled. "Pink. What a surprise."

Aphrodite shrugged. "It's a little daring, I know, but the women of our family can carry it off."

Imp looked sorta like she'd been draped in pink guaze hankies. Tha hem of her lil dress was sorta scalloped, an' tha material parted in back ta let her wings through. Of course it didn't really mattah right now whethah she went topless or not, but I had been kinda wonderin what we were gonna do when she started sproutin boobs. I mean, I know some of tha Amazons run around with one boob hangin out, but not my kid. At least I wasn't plannin on it. From what we'd learned of Imp's personality so far, I knew I'd bettah not marry myself ta anythin.

Cupid was leanin ovah ta make faces at Imp, admirin her outfit. "Oo, who's a girlie-girl? Look at that--she even has a hair ribbon."

"A hair ribbon? She still hardly has any hair." I looked an' sure enough there was a teeny, tiny pink ribbon bow in tha exact center of Imp's head, clingin ta tha green-brown fuzz. "Well, double dip me..." Cupid started ta open his mouth, an' I said, "Dontcha dare mention that chocolate incident in fronta tha kids. There sure as Tartarus is a bow. I nevah would've credited it. How'd ya do it, 'Dite?"

She polished her fingahnails on her dress. "It's a woman thing--you wouldn't understand."

"Prob'ly not." I hugged Imp, ticklin her ta make her squeal, then paused, sniffin. Bliss noticed, went ta tha baby bag, came back, an' offered me a diapah. "Yer a good big brothah, Blissy, but I don't need that right now. No, I'm smellin somethin sweet." Bliss grinned an' pushed Cupid closah ta me. I laughed. "Nah. Yer dad smells mostly like cinnamon an' sugah cookies these days. This smells more like..." I sniffed again. "I dunno, but it's definitely comin from Imp." I noticed Dite lookin a little nervous an' got suspicious.

I put my nose an inch from Imp's face an' started a systematic smell. She thought this was a great game, an' I had ta rescue my nose once an' my hair twice. She was gettin a lot bettah at grabbin stuff. Finally I zeroed in on tha scent. It was comin from her bow. I squinted down at it an' suddenly saw that it wasn't actually tied ta her hair. That woulda been impossible 'cause, like I said, she only had a little down. Nope, it seemed ta be stuck on by a dab of somethin pale gold an' pasty. I sniffed again an' looked at Dite, who started twitterin. "You know, I really ought to go ahead and see if Apollo needs any help." She started ta emit pink sparkles. "He's wonderful at throwing orgies, but this is a bit more formal occasion, and..."

I glared at her. "Don't you go anywhere, Grandma. You just keep your sparkly butt right here till I check this out, or no babysittin for ya till Imp has kids of her own."

"Strife!" Dite almost had tears in her eyes, but she quit sparklin. I turned back ta Imp, then licked her hair.

"Strife!" Cupid yelped.

"Ooo, gwoss!" Bliss said, soundin impressed.

"Just like I thought. Cupid, yer mothah pasted a ribbon ta our daughtah's head with honey."

"Mom?"

Aprhodite shrugged sheepishly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

I flashed up a warm, damp cloth an' laid it ovah Imp's head. She got excited.

"Ah!"

"Yeah, baby." I lifted tha hem of tha cloth an' peeked undah at her. "Peekaboo!"

She laughed, an' I started rubbin gently ta wash off tha honey. "Ah!"

I peeked undah tha cloth again. "Pee-pie!" This time I stuck out my tongue. She laughed so hard tha cloth almost fell off. Finally I managed ta wipe tha bow an' tha stickiness offa her head, then smoothed her fuzz back down. "There. 'Dite, ya mean well, but Imp is a long way from tha stage where she's ready ta use honey fah anythin except sweetinin her porridge. An' if ya doubt WHY this wasn't a good idea, I'll say just one word--bugs." She shuddered. I winked at Bliss. "Besides, if Mjau was around he might try ta lick it off, an' Imp would end up as bald as an egg with his raspy tongue."

That got anothah giggle outta him. 'Dite smiled. "Well, it's good to see you looking more cheerful. You were awful gloomy there for awhile. Have you finally decided to like your kilt?"

"Don't make tha kid lie ta ya, 'Dite," I warned her. " Let's go intraduce Imp ta all tha people who mattah." I blinked, an' Imp was wrapped from chin ta toes in a towel.

'Dite moaned. "After all the trouble I go through with that lovely dress..."

"Dite, hello? Transportin. It'll be Imp's first time, an' ya remembah how whoopsie I was till just recently? Ya do want that confection ya wrapped her in ta survive, dotcha?"

"Good point." I tucked Imp's head up undah my chin, holdin on tight. Cupid picked up Bliss, an' we all went tagethah.

*Flash*

We appeahed in Apollo's main temple in Athens. It was loud. Ya know how marble echos, huh? Well, tha place was big, with a vaulted ceiling, an' it was crammed with gods an' mortals. Word had been spread through every membah of tha Pantheon's temples about tha new little goddess who was officially bein presented. Of course, since Gabby an' Iolaus had been present at her birth, tha word had spread even fastah. Those two can spread gossip fastah than Hermes onna good day. Anyways, they shoulda made it by invitation only, cause tha place was crammed. Cupe did a quick fly ovah before he popped in, an' he told me tha streets were so jammed it looked like tha routes ta tha docks in Pompeii aftah tha mountain blew its top.

We had materialized in a little room just off tha main chambah. Yeah, a grand entrance woulda been nice, but I didn't want tha mortals' first glimpse of tha new deity ta be while she was upchuckin. Tha towel worked great. I just pulled it offa Imp, removin all tha sick, then washed her face. She only fussed for a coupla minutes. She was gonna be a tough lil bird.

Besides our lil group Zeus an' Hera were there, in their capacity as King an' Queen of tha gods, an' Apollo was there, since he was hostin tha shindig. I'd just finished wipin Imp's chin when Ares an' Joxer flashed in, Ares carryin Accord on his hip. Ares peered through the door at the throng an' grunted. "My priests should be at the front, but there are only a few of them. I'm going to have to bust some balls for them not showing up for my granddaughter's first showing."

Joxer put a hand on his arm. "Now, Ares..."

He sighed. "Oh, all right. Nothing but a few broken bones."

Mom flashed in behind me. "He's getting soft."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Yah, Ma? I guess havin kids could do that to ya." She scowled at me, but leaned ovah ta kiss me on tha cheek.

Zeus clapped his hands. "All right, people, let's get this show on the road. I'm sure the parents won't want this too last too long, so the baby won't be tired out, and we need to get as many people through to pay their respects as possible. If the crowd decides that they've been gyped of what they came to see there could be a riot, and those are so annoying."

"Speak fer yerself," I called. As usual, I was ignored.

"Okay, I think the best way to do this is to have the two daddies sit on the main altar, holding Impetua, and the visitors can come up and make a brief obescience. First I'll introduce her, then make a brief speech about the importance of this new godhead..."

"Uh, excuse me?" Apollo was frowning. "It's just that this is MY temple, so I thought that it would be appropriate if I did the introduction." Imp started squirmin an' gigglin, an' Cupid an' me exhanged looks. Imp was gettin her second energy feed. I thought about all tha egos out there an' took a firmer hold on her.

They finally settled on 'pol introducin Zeus. He took about ten minutes ta say, 'Here he is, tha Big Cheese.' Then Zeus took twice as long ta get around ta 'Impetua, daughter of Cupid and Strife, Goddess of Jealousy and Envy.' I held Imp up high. It got real quiett. She stared at everyone, suckin her fist, then cooed. A massive 'aaaaaaaawwwwwww', strong enough ta blow my hair back an' swirl Imp's dress, moved through tha hall. *snicker* Tha little booger had 'em wrapped around her fingah already.

First tha major gods an' goddesses came by, each givin Imp a kiss or a chuck undah tha chin. I almost hurt myself holdin back tha cackles when she squalled when Apollo tried ta kiss her. 'pol's of tha opinion that every female, from birth ta senility, finds him irresistable, if they'll just admit it ta themselves. Imp kicked him right in tha ego. It didn't help any when she babbled happily ta Hephastus, wunna tha least physically preposin deities. It nevah occured ta him that Heph is Imp's grand dad, an' has babysat her a good deal.

Imp was gettin even more antsy, bouncin in my lap an wavin her arms. Tha jealousy comin from Apollo alone was givin her a rush. When all tha Muses started squealin ovah her (ya know how women are about babies. I wondah why single guys haven't figured out that borrowin wunna their married friend's babies would make them a chick magnet) 'pol's face started ta take on a tint like Imp's signature colah. I had a feelin that when they were alone tanight he was gonna do more struttin an preenin than Hera's entire flock of peacocks.

Imp was handlin this bettah than I expected, aside from bein excited. She was real interested in everyone who came up ta pay their respects. Tha mortals started layin offerins before us. Some of tha stuff wasn't gonna do her any good for a numbah of yeahs. F'rinstance, I wasn't havin her ears pierced till she was old enough ta ask, no mattah how 'Dite pleaded. I knew damn good an' well that if I caved we'd get ta Ace's place an' she'd suddenly have somewhere else she had ta be while tha actual stickin was done.

An' ya gotta know there were scads of mortals there envyin tha fact that this lil peanut was gonna be so powerful in a few years. When we had mothahs pullin their daughtahs up ta tha altar an' askin about dedicatin 'em ta Imp with an eye toward gettin 'em jobs as senior priestesses I knew it was time ta go home. Especially when two of tha moms got inta a hair pullin match ovah which of their kids was more suited ta tha job. By tha time I announced we were goin an flashed outta there Imp was flappin her wings so hard I'm sure she woulda taken off if I'da let go. The idea of my little green an' pink squirt dartin around ovah tha people's heads was funny, till I remembahed that she couldn't possibly know how ta brake, an' that tha marble walls were awful solid.

Tha rest of tha crowd was dismissed, an' we adjourned ta tha back rooms for a more informal supper. Bliss had been sent back earlier. When we got there, it was obvious that he'd been havin fun. He was nekkid except for his drawers an' a wide assortment of foodstuffs (primarily chocolate sauce). Aphrodite said, "Bliss, honey, where's your kilt?" Bliss pointed ta somethin that wunna Artemis's huntin dogs was layin on. He had it clutched in his paws an' was tryin ta eat it, with some success. If ya looked real close ya could just tell that it was what was left of tha kilt. "Bliss! What happened?"

"Well, I was trying to be careful, but I spilled some chocolate on my kilt, an' I tried to wipe it off, but I used the napkin to wipe up the gravy I spilled, and when I took it off to wash it in that.." He pointed to an open wine cask, "I dropped it in the soup. I got it out and I was gonna wash it, but the doggies wanted to play tug o' war." He stuck his finger in his mouth an' gazed at her innocently. "They won."

She drooped. "Oh, well." She took Bliss's hand. "Come on, sweetie, and I'll get you cleaned up. This is informal, so no one will care if you run around in your undies." She giggled. "I do it often enough." As they left tha room I heard her say, "You know, it's the oddest thing. Your daddy had almost exactly the same thing happen to the sweetest little pair of lavender shorts when he was your age..."

I gently set Imp down on a comfortable pallet. I looked at Cupid. He looked at me. We high fived. I gave him a kiss. "An there were people who thought we wouldn't be compatable."

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Strife?"

"I told ya, Cupe, yeah."

"But I don't want to hurt you."

"Look, I talked ta Ace, 'kay? He says there shouldn't be any problem, an' tha longah we wait, tha more trouble it will be. Don'tcha wanna do it?"

"I've never done anything like this before, baby. What if I stick it in wrong?"

"Oh, heck. There's really only one way ta do it, Feathahs. Now, c'mon. Ya know it makes our sex life bettah. Ya missed it, didn't ya?"

"Well, yes. But shouldn't you do it?"

"It'll be sexier if ya help."

He thought about this, then smiled. "You're right. And I have a surprise for you, too." He offered me a tiny heart shaped box. I took it an' opened it. I think I cooed. There, nestled in white satin, were two thin open gold hoops with a tiny pearl drop hangin from each one. Cupid grinned. "Heph made those for me. The mortals don't realize that he's just as good with delicate jewelry as he is with lethal weapons."

I picked up tha rings and watched tha light sparkle off tha pearls. Then I handed them ta Cupid an' flashed my shirt off, layin back on tha bed. "Do me, lover."

He reclined beside me. He licked his thumb an' forefingah, then pinched my left nipple softly. He stroked an' rubbed, smearin tha warm wetness, till tha flesh peaked. He felt carefully, then bent tha hoop open slightly an' slid tha end through tha tiny piercin. Once it was firmly seated he welded tha hoop closed with a tiny flash of power. Then he paused ta admire it. He hooked a fingah in tha loop an' gave it a gentle tug. "How does that feel?"

"Ummm..."

He laughed. "Me, too. Now for the other one." This time he leaned ovah an' licked tha right nipple till it, too, peaked. I cradled tha back of his head, my cock startin ta rise at tha sweet attention. "Bite, lover," I whispered. My nipples weren't quite so sensitive now that Imp was hardly nursin anymore, an' I'd missed some of tha rougher sex play I'd enjoyed with Cupe.

Cupid scraped his teeth over tha erect bud, then nibbled it. I groaned an' rolled toward him, thrustin my hard-on against his belly. He laughed an' pushed me back flat. "Wait. I'll lose the other ring. Hold on. You're nice and erect here, it will be easy..." He had tha second ring in an' sealed in a moment. "There." Now he sucked tha ring inta his mouth an' let his tongue play over an' around it.

When he looked back up at me I was breathin hard. I said hoarsely. "When's Psyche s'posed ta bring Bliss back?"

"Not for another hour." I cut a glance toward Imp's room, an' Cupe took my chin in his hand, turnin' me back ta look at him. "We have time, Strife." He kissed me an' pushed his hand down the front of my pants. "We'll make time."

*sigh* Ya gotta love a man who has his priorities straight.

"Scuse me, mistah," I whispahed. "But are those things in yer way? Lemme help." I flashed off tha rest of my clothes.

"You're so thoughtful--that's what I love about you." He ran a hand down my belly an' stopped, cuppin his hand ovah my cock. "Of course, I'm pretty fond of this." I was already half-hard, an' getting hardah. He rubbed a circle. "Mmm. Looks like you love me, too." He bit my chin gently. "I can't decide if I want to fuck you, or if I want you to fuck me."

"Why decide? We're married, Blondie."

He studied me, smiling. "Think you can hold out long enough to manage it?"

I slapped his chest, then pinched his nipples. "Awright, that's a challenge."

"Flip you for who goes first?"

"Check. There's a dinar ovah..." *grab* *flip* "Hey!" I was face-down on tha bed all of a sudden, with Cupid crawlin up on toppa me. "Who said you could go first?"

I felt tha slickness of oil in my ass, an' then Cupid's fingah was rubbin around tha hole. "Well, if you really object..." He slid one fingah slowly inside me.

"N-o-o, I think I can stand waitin a little bit." He pumped in an' out. "'Specially if ya keep doin that."

"Well, how about if I do this instead?" He added a second fingah, crooked 'em, an' found my special spot.

I jerked. "Oh, yah, I can deal with that. I can deal with lots an' lots of that." He kept doin it, an' pretty soon I was humpin against tha sheets. "Cupe, I'm lovin it, but get yer cock in there, pronto. This is supposed ta be a fuckin contest, not a diddlin contest."

He laughed, an' pulled out. He looped an arm around my waist an' hoisted me onta my hands an' knees. I spread my legs even farthah, an' he settled in, enterin me with one smooth, long stroke. I crooned. "Ooo, ya sweet thang."

He bit my shouldah. "You're the sweet one, baby. You're all honey inside."

"Gawd, I love it when we get soppy. Fuck me, Flyboy."

He did--magnificently, I must say. *sigh* I feel kinda sorry for anyone who's nevah been screwed by my sweetie. (Don't get any ideas, though. I'd be perfectly happy ta sew up any so favahed orifice. What? My rep ain't ALL bullshit, ya know.)

Cupe stroked inta me hard an' fast, hittin tha sweet spot ovah an' ovah. He held my hip with one hand an' reached undah me ta grip my hard-on. It was great. When I pushed back I spiked myself deepah on his beautifl cock, an' when I surged forward inta his hand he gave me a sqeeze. It was hard ta decide what was bettah, so I tried both again an' again an' again an'... Ya get the idea.

I felt myself getting close ta tha edge, so I bore down, squeezin' his cock with my internal muscles. He growled, speedin up both his hip an' hand action. There mighta been maybe a split second between when we each climaxed, but I couldn't tell ya exactly who went first. I was too damn occupied ta be keepin score. I just know that I was fillin his hand while he was fillin my ass.

We both collapsed, pantin, sticky an' sweaty. Aftah a minute he moved offa me, then pulled me ovah inta his arms. I snuggled against him, playin with his still stiff nipples. He chuckled. "Who won?"

"We both did."

"Yeah."

"Bliss?"

"Yes, Daddy Strife?"

"Whatcha doin?"

"Playing with Imp."

"Oh." *pause* "Look, it ain't that I doubt ya, kiddo, but it looks like yer sittin there with Imp's blankie ovah yer head."

"I am."

"Oh. So?"

"We's playing peekaboo."

"Don't that usually involve liftin tha cloth occasionally an' sayin 'peekaboo'?"

"Yeah, but I'm trying to get Imp to pull the cloth off herself." *pause* "She is close enough to reach, i'nt she?"

"Lemme check." Imp was sittin on tha floor between Bliss's legs, peerin up at him with an intent, puzzled look. I lifted her arm, an' tha fingahs just brushed tha cloth. "Yeppers. She can grab if she wantsta. How long have you been sittin here like this?"

"Um... I dunno. I didn't look at the sundial. Just after you went to Demeter's."

I blinked. "Bliss that was more'n an hour ago. You're gonna suffocate." I snatched tha blankie off his head.

Impetua gave wunna those full body jerks. It was kinda like what happened tha first time Bliss gave her a taste of grapefruit when I wasn't lookin. Her mouth dropped open, her green eyes got real big, an' I thought for a second she was gonna do that harpy impression she's so good at. Then she gave Bliss a big, toothless grin, waved her arms, an' said, "Ah!"

Bliss sighed, lookin at me. "I think that she thinks that if I can't see her, she can't see me."

"Funny, she don't look like a ravenous bugblattah beast." I scooped her up, an' Bliss stood.

"I wish Imp would figure things out quicker. She'd be a lot more fun to play with if she could, like, throw a ball 'stead of just knocking it."

"She'll get there. It just takes awhile fah a baby ta figure out how ta work tha littler pieces of her body."

"Is that why Imp tinkles in her diddies so much?"

"Cupe!"

He strolled in. "Whassup, babe?"

"Yer son has a question fah ya. C'mon, Imp." I sniffed, an' started singin. "When it's diddie changin time on 'lympus..."

I took Imp back inta her room. Once I was in there I laid her on her bed, held up a fingah ta my lips ta shush her, an' said, "We do it tha easy way this time, peanut." I blinked, an' she was in a fresh cloth. She jerked, suddenly startled at tha feel of tha clean cloth, then she kicked an' cooed, grinnin. "Yah. I'm hopin ya learn how ta do that yerself in a few months. Wouldn't hurt my feelins at all if ya did."

I cocked my head, listenin ta Cupid's voice as he stumbled through a kinda convoluted explanation of tha differences between male an' female anatomy, an' how it functioned. "I got yer Dad good, lil bit. I gotta feelin he's gonna leave all the explainin to you ta me." I shrugged. "Well, I don't gotta worry 'bout that for awhile."

Bliss came in took hold of tha bars of Imp's bed, peerin through it at her. "Peekaboo." She reached through tha bars, tryin ta grab his nose. "Daddy Strife, what was Daddy talking about in there?"

"He was tryin ta explain about tha birds an' tha bees, I guess."

Bliss wrinkled his forehead. "Gran'ma Hera told me about them. Bees sting and birds poop on you if you aren't careful. It sounded like Daddy was trying to talk about sex."

Cupid came in. He looked like he'd been runnin a marathon. "Yes, and thank you so much, Strife. I get all through the routine, and he looks at me and says 'Oh. What about you and Daddy Strife?', and I was off again." He looked around. "Where's the dirty diaper?"

I looked at tha ceilin an' whistled. Imp looked up, too. Bliss giggled. "She's looking for a birdie."

I picked Bliss up an' dangled him ovah tha bed. "Ya settle fah a bird boy, Impy?" Bliss giggled when I turned 'im upside down. His face was right in fronta Imp. Imp crowed an' waved her hands at him wildly. She managed ta grab a handful of gold curls. "Bih!" she yelled. She tugged hard. "Bih, bih!"

"Ow! Imp, leggo!" Bliss squealed. Imp turned loose, an' I set Bliss back on his feet. He rubbed his head. "Boy, Imp sure does like to pull hair!"

"Yer tellin me?" I ruffled my own 'do. "My hair has nevah been spikier. Anyways, she's tryin ta say yer name, Bliss! Yer tha only one she calls Bih."

"She knows me!" Bliss said proudly.

"Sure she does! I just wish she'd say my name, or Cupe's."

Cupid reached down to tickle Imp's belly. She chortled, tryin ta grab his fingah. "Well, our names are kind of hard for a baby to form, sweetie."

"Yah, well, I thought babies were s'posed ta learn how ta say Dada an' Papa first thing. So whatta we get?"

I leaned ovah tha crib, cooin at Imp. She held out her arms. "Mama!"

Cupid laughed. "Stop it," I grumbled. "Don't get all superior, Feathahs. She calls you tha same thing. I figuah 'Dite's gonna be 'Ite', Heph's gonna be 'Eh..."

"Not 'Eff'?"

"Fffff's too hard fah her. Lessee, Mom will be 'Is', Ares is gonna be 'Ree', an'..." I giggled. "Oh, Tartarus, poor Joxie! I dunno WHAT Imp's gonna make of his name! He's got tha jay an' tha ex ta deal with. I'm gessing 'Ahee' fah awhile."

"What do you suppose she'll call Zeus and Hera?"

"Pretty much what tha rest of tha Pantheon does, I expect."

"Strife!" Cupid scolded. "Our daughter will not use that kind of language."

I tittered. "Ya think? Anyways, I was thinkin more along tha lines of 'uh oh' fah both of 'em."

*Flash*

"Or she might settle on 'oh no'. That's a favorite of mine. Hi, sweeties!" Bliss ran squealin tah wrap himself around Aphrodite's leg. "Hello, dumpling! How's the handsomest godling on Olympus?"

"Don't let Unc hear ya say that," I cautioned her. "Much as he loves Bliss, he's potty about Accord." She carried Bliss ovah an' I planted a kiss on her cheek, then Cupe did tha same. "Happy ta have ya drop by. Whaddaya want?"

Dite rolled her eyes, addressin Cupid. "Is he always this suspicious?"

"Yes. What do you want, Mom?"

"Can't I just visit my very favorite people?"

"Sure ya can," I said agreeably. "Whaddaya want?"

"Honestly!" She bent over tha crib. "Hello, my precious little angel!"

I snorted. "A granma is always tha last ta know."

She ignored me. Imp was reachin up, pattin her face. "Iee!"

"Oh, she's trying to say my name!" Dite said excitedly.

"Uh, Dite? Ya might wanna pull back a little."

"Come on, darling! 'Dite.' You can do it." Dite bent even lowah.

A few shiny blond curls swung down. Imp's green eyes glowed. "Dite, I'm warnin ya..."

"Aye!"

You guessed it--double handful. I woulda expected Aphrodite to jump an' scream, but I guess bein a grandma gives ya special tolerance fah yer grandkids. She just got real still an' said in a strained voice. "Cupid, please remove my beloved grand-daughter from my coiffeur." She hadn't had time ta really get her fists wrapped in it, so Cupe untangled her pretty easy. Dite sighed, primping her hair. "Well, at least she's showing the proper womanly interest in hair, which means that I'm right in wanting to give her this gift..."

"Dite!" I said sharply. "Whaddid I tell ya about mirrahs? No glass around Imp, not fah a long time! We nevah know when she's gonna get an energy boost, an' she gets so hyper that it wouldn't be safe."

"Hold on to your drawers for a minute, son-in-law. I perfectly understand that, but Heph found a way around the problem." She waved her hand. Suddenly there was a shiny square attached inside tha bars at tha foot of Imp's bed. "It's super-polished silver, with an extra luster spell on it. There's no way the child could break it, and it reflects just as perfectly as glass."

Imp, an observant lil cuss, had spotted tha new object at the foot of her bed, and was crawling toward it. "I dunno..."

"Oh, come on, Strife! She's a girl, and my blood! She needs a mirror!"

Imp had plopped down in fronta tha mirror an' was starrin at her reflection. "Well... I guess so. She seems ta like it."

She sure did. Imp stared at herself, cockin her head from side ta side. Then she reached out an touched tha reflection. She jerked back so hard she fell ovah backwards, a surprised look on her face.

Cupid reached in an' set her back up. "Whoops! Kinda cold, huh, baby girl?"

Imp pointed at tha mirror. "Bah?"

Bliss bounced excitedly. "Yeah, Imp! That's a baby!"

"Son of a bitch!" I said wonderingly. "I toldya she was a genius."

Cupid hugged me. "Yes, but she just thinks that's another baby. She doesn't know that it's her."

"She'll figure it out," I said confidently.

Imp was reachin undah tha mirror, then around it's sides. "She's trying to get the other baby," said Bliss. "I've seen Mjau do the same thing with a mirror."

Cupid looked puzzled. "Where would Mjau be around a mirror?"

"Oh, there's this little room at Gran'pa 'Res place. It's funny. All it's got in it is mirrors all around the walls and a big bed in the middle. Joxie turned awful red when he noticed I'd followed Mjau in there."

I started chokin. "Scuse me." I left tha room fah a moment so I could have my laughin fit in private. Damn, I just hope I have as much zing in my spring as Unc does when I get ta be his age.

I came back just in time ta see Imp wave her wings, an' notice that tha reflection was doin tha same. Startled her inta fallin ovah again. Good thing Dite had set it up in tha bed, or tha kid coulda concussed herself. This time I sat her up.

"That's you, Imp!" Bliss told her. He climbed up, hangin onta tha bars, hung ovah tha side of the crib, an' gave tha reflection a kiss.

Get this--Imp frowned. "Do it again, kiddo."

Bliss did. He smooched tha reflection with great big smackers, an' said in a dramatic voice, "Oh, boy! This is just the sweetest baby! This baby is so pretty and smart, and I just love her to death!" He kissed tha reflection some more. (Bleh. All right, so it was gonna need some vinegah an' a dry cloth latah.)

Imp bounced up an' down, wavin her hands at Bliss. "Bih! Bih!"

He kept kissing. "I could just eat this baby up."

"Aah!" All of a sudden Imp was vibratin! Her lil wings were shiverin, her legs and arms were stiff, an' I swear, her eyes glowed green.

"Quick, Bliss! Make a fuss ovah her!"

Bliss quickly pulled away from tha mirror an' started makin a big too-doo ovah his sistah. Imp relaxed immediately, givin him a sunny smile. Cupid an' Dite were blinkin. Dite said, "What was that?"

I sighed. "Imp just gave herself an energy boost. She thought Bliss was makin up ta anothah baby, an' she got jealous."

Dite clapped her hands. "Oh, that's so cute!"

"Ya think? Dite, I want ya ta imagine a two year old havin that kinda reaction."

Her mouth formed a little oh. "Ooo."

"Exactly. I just hope she don't come inta much of her powahs till she gets ta tha age of reason--whatevah tha Tartarus that is."

Bliss was playin peekaboo with Imp again. He draped tha blankie ovah his head. "Hey, Imp! Where am I, huh? I'm right here! Cantcha find me?"

Imp stared at him. Slowly she reached out an' touched tha cloth. "That's right, Imp! You can't see me, but I'm here! Find me."

Imp tried ta peer behind Bliss, frowning. She looked at me. "Bih?"

I twitched tha cloth offa Bliss. "Bliss," I told her. I dropped tha cloth back down, then jerked it off several times in rapid succession. Bliss ended up blinkin, goggle eyed. "See, sweetie. He don't go away. Ya just can't see him. He's still there."

She looked real thoughtful. "Ah?"

I dropped tha cloth ovah her head. "Where's Imp? She's gone!" I jerked it off. "There she is!" I repeated it. She started gigglin. I covahed her again.

Before I could pull off tha blankie, she dragged it off herself, grinnin almost as maniacally as I do when I'm tryin ta scare tha mortals. "Yah! She did it!" We all applauded. "One more time!"

I draped her again. This time tha cloth barely settled before she snatched it off an' grinned at us. Then...

Then she caught sight of tha baby in tha mirror, an' got real interested. She reached out slowly, an' she touched tha reflection of tha blanket. She looked down at tha blanket, at tha reflection, at tha blanket, at tha reflection... I sweah, I could hear gears clickin.

Starin at tha mirror, she slowly lifted tha blanket in fronta her face, then lowered it. She did it again. And again. Then she just held it, right about even with her nose. She flapped her wings. Tha reflection flapped its wings. Her eyes got real big. She dropped tha blankie, an' her little mouth was hangin open. (Not exactly anythin new, but this time there wasn't a drool string involved.)

She looked at us, pointed at tha mirror, an said, "Ih?"

Cupid, me, an' Dite exchanged looks. Ih?

But Bliss didn't have any trouble translatin. He jumped up an' down, noddin like crazy. "That's right! Imp. That's Imp, Imp. That's you!"

It was like Apollo had just driven his nags out from behind a cloud. Her face shone. She looked at tha mirror again an' said. "Ih." She looked at Cupe, pointed, an' said excitedly, "Mama! Ih!" She looked at me, waving her arm. "Ih, Mama! Ih!"

I laughed an' scooped her up, huggin her close. Bliss was doin a war dance. Cupe an' Dite were huggin, an' I think I saw tha Love Goddess discreetly wipin away a tear.

"That's right, kiddo!" I held her ovah my hed, and she giggled, flappin her wings. "That's Imp! That's you. That's my girl!"

"Look, if we want her to consistantly sleep through the night we have to establish a bedtime ritual and stick to it."

"What? We gotta sacrifice goats aftah I put her in her jammies?" Cupid rolled his eyes. "Ya said ritual. Light candles? Burn incense?"

"I should have said bedtime routine. When did you get so literal?"

"Hey, ya go where tha most mischief can be created. Sometimes it's by bein literal, sometimes it's by bein fuckin obscure. So, bedtime routine, huh? Ya mean like with us? First we strip, then we grab each othah, then..."

"Stop it." He was grinnin, though. "You know what I mean, Strife. We can't keep changing everything around or she'll be, like, a total night owl, and Goddess of the Night is already spoken for."

"Whatta ya suggest?"

"Well... Okay, we know she needs to be fed not long before she goes to sleep--that makes her kinda dozey."

"Yer tellin me? Half tha time she drops off with tha nipple still in her mouth. That ain't so bad since she went ovah ta tha milk skins. Lemme tell ya, when she woke up sudden while she was nursin it was a startlin experience fah us both." He winced in sympathy. "Uh, she needs a bath, then to get put into her sleep shift, and some quality time with one, or both of us."

"Howsabout we combine that with Bliss's storytime? He's gettin ta where he can read some of those easy scrolls by himself now, an' I bet he'd be psyched..." I stopped an' shook my head. "What am I doin, usin that term? I bet he'd be pumped up ta read ta Imp an' us."

"Very good idea. He's still getting little bursts of jealousy about her occasionally, and that will make him feel superior."

"Yup." I used my 'pretend I'm talkin ta someone' voice. "Yah, Bliss, she's tha baby, an' she gets away with stuff you can't, but hey! Lookit all tha stuff you can do an' she can't!"

"Oh, great. We'll end up with the Godling of Smugness."

We both heard tha giggles at about tha same time. That's two sets of giggles, one kid an' male, tha othah infant an' girl. We watched tha door ta tha hall expectantly.

A second latah Bliss backed slowly inta tha room. He was bent ovah a little, an he was haldin tha edge of Imp's blankie with both hands. Impetua was layin on her tummy on tha blanket, facin Bliss as he dragged her along tha floor. She was rockin on her lil watermelon belly, wavin her arms an' legs an' gigglin fit ta bust.

Cupid was fightin down his own laughtah when he called, "Son, you're going to fall and break both of your necks going around backward."

He stopped an' looked back at us. "It's okay, Daddy. I checked first to be sure there wasn't nothing in the way."

Imp was kickin even hardah. "Bih gah! Bih gah!"

"Okay, okay!" Bliss backed up rapidly a few steps, pulling the blanket so that Imp slid along on her tummy. She squealed.

"Blissy, ya oughta know by now that things have a way of appearin an' disappearin without warnin on Olympus. Whyn't ya do that lookin where yer goin?" I asked.

"I tried that. Imp got excited and rolled off when I wasn't looking."

"Uh. Not good. Okay, but just do it a coupla steps at a time, huh?"

"Tell that to Imp. She's some sort of speed demon. She keeps trying to get me to run."

I went ovah an' picked Imp up. She flapped her wings while I was liftin her. Good thing they still weren't big an' strong enough fah her ta take flight, or I'd've had trouble hangin onta her. "I guess we bettah get started calmin her down if we wanna get ta sleep before midnight. What do we do first?"

"Food?"

I rolled my eyes. "Ya remembah what happened when ya tried her with parsnips?" He winced. He'd handed ovah tha spoon 'cause she kept tryin ta take it away from him, an' they ended up parsnips from head ta toes. I keep tryin ta tell him that tha kid is like me--not vegetable oriented, but he keeps on tryin, bless his stubborn, sexy heart.

"She eats her main meal earliah with us anyway," I said. "I'm thinkin a bottle last thing, when we're gettin ta tha serious tryin."

He nodded. "Okay, so I'd say bath, jammies, then bottle and story at the same time."

"Sounds like a plan, an' I think we oughtta go ahead an' start it." I wiggled Imp in tha air. "Baff time, sugar-boogah!" I tried ta hand her ta Cupid.

"Oh, no, you don't!" He backed up. "I bathed earlier. It would take my wings too darn long to dry if I did it now."

I follahed him inta Imp's room, bouncin her. "But she always splashes me."

"She's a baby, she's going to do that." He pulled the basin I'd been washin her in out of tha cabinet an' frowned at it. "Does she still fit in this thing?" He came ovah an' held tha basin up in front of Imp, tryin ta measure. She managed ta put her feet in it an' push it away.

"I think it's gettin ta be a pretty tight squeeze. There ain't much room left fah watah when I get her inta it, an' lately I hafta change watah ta rinse her off."

Cupid put the basin away. "I can get a larger one from Heph tomorrow. You'll just have to take her into the bathing pool with you tonight."

"Cupe! Tha othah time I did that she pooped in tha watah!"

*snicker* *giggle* "Stop laughin, you guys! Okay, I gotta admit it gave me some good ideas fah messin with new parents, but it happened tah me, an' it was just gross!" I wrinkled my nose. "It was that day we tried feedin her peaches tha first time."

Bliss squinched his eyes shut an' held his nose. "Eeeeewww."

"Right."

"She hasn't had peaches today," Cupid said reasonably, "and she needs her bath. Go on, Daddy. It'll be a wonderful bonding experience."

I held up Imp an' stared inta her green eyes. She stared back at me, an' gave me a toothless grin. I checked her diapah. Clean an' dry. "Yer savin it up, aren'tcha?" *coo* *sigh* "Awright."

"Bliss," Cupid said. "You haven't had a bath, either."

Bliss looked innocent (he's good at that). "But I haven't done anything today, really, Daddy."

"No? Then why do your feet look like you've walked from Rome to Athens through knee-deep dust? Go bathe with Imp and Strife."

Bliss's mouth dropped open, and he looked horrified, gazing at Imp, particularly her butt. I snickered. "Not so funny now, is it? C'mon, kiddo."

Bliss follahed, draggin his feet. In tha bathin room I tested tha pool an' made sure that tha watah was only skin temperature, then flashed off my an' Imp's clothes. I held her carefully, an' stepped inta tha shallow end of tha pool. We have benches along tha sides, an' I waded ta one where tha watah only came up ta my waist, then settled down. "C'mon, Bliss. Quit stallin. Get nekkid an' get in tha watah. Oh, an' bring some soap an' a cloth with ya."

Bliss grumbled, but he stripped off his pants, got some soap an' a cloth off the shelf that was specially fixed low enough fah him ta reach, an' waded inta tha pool. "Lathah that up fah me." He did, workin up a good handful of foam, then handed it ovah ta me. I started ta wash Imp. She started thrashin, wavin her arms, legs, an' wings like she'd just been fed a particulahly tasty bit of jealousy energy, but I think it was just 'cause it tickled her.

"Oh, geez, kid! Calm down! It's like tryin ta hang onta a greased octopus."

"Here, Daddy Strife." Bliss took hold of Imp's shouldahs, an' I felt safe enough ta finish washin her. She twisted her head, frownin an' squawkin at him. He giggled. "I think she's fussin at me."

"Yah, she likes ta have her way." I made a face at her. "Dont'cha, puddin?" She fussed at me, too, wigglin even hardah. Then she got real still, with an intent look on her face. Suddenly tha watah on my thigh, right where her butt was restin, got warmah. "Oh, Imp!" She giggled. I sighed. "Well, at least tha pool is filtahed." Bliss was tryin ta edge back, still keepin hold of Imp. "Hang on." I rinsed her quickly. "Okay, ya can move ovah."

He backed away an' I tossed him tha cloth. "Go ahead an' get cleaned." While he bathed I played with Imp. I held her on her tummy, with her head up ovah tha watah, an' she laughed an' paddled. I think maybe there's a little watah nymph in her somewhere.

Bliss finished washin an' decided that tha watah around us was clean enough ta risk again. He ducked undah, waddled ovah closah, an' popped up right in front of Imp. Watah sprayed up in her face, an' she gasped. Bliss yelled, "Boo!"

Imp screamed, jerkin in my hands. I was ready ta chew Bliss out good, but tha scream turned inta a laugh. Imp laughed so hard she started hiccuppin, an' that made her laugh even more. "Yer lucky, Bliss," I said. "If ya had scared her, I might've had ta tan yer hide." Imp was wavin her arms excitedly, beatin at tha watah, an' she managed ta splash Bliss in tha face. He laughed. "Ya think that's funny, huh? I got news fah ya--she was so excited that she just peed again." Bliss hollered and tried ta back away. Too fast, cause tha feet went up an' tha butt went down, an' he dunked himself.

Me an' Imp were both laughin when he stood up, splutterin. He spit frantically, wipin his mouth. "Ack! C'mon, Bliss! It's, like, one hazelnut shell fulla baby tinkle ta all this watah. I think you'll survive. In fact, considerin some of tha stuff ya put in yer mouth when you were little..."

"Okay, okay, okay! But I'm done."

"Good. Go get Cupe. I don't wanna try ta carry this squirmmin squirt up tha wet steps. We could both end up brained."

Bliss climbed outta tha pool an' stood there for a minute, flappin his wings briskly. It was like gettin caught in a sprinkle. Imp looked up curiously, like she was expectin ta see lightnin. When he was done, Bliss trotted outta tha room... butt nekkid. I sighed, lookin down at Imp. "Tell me that yer gonna be easiah ta civilize than him." She grinned at me.

It took a little while. I guess Cupe had gone off somewhere in tha temple ta attend ta something. After awhile Cupid came in, herding Bliss in front of him. "Yes, I know that Grandma Dite thinks it's cute, and I know that the priests smiled, but you still have to start putting on your clothes when you come out into the public rooms."

"Why?"

"The only reason I have to give you is 'because I said so'. But it's because you've reached that awkward stage. Little bitty kids can get away with it because they're too young to know better, and full fledged gods can get away with it because... Well, because they're gods. You, my son, are a godling, and you just have to wait for awhile."

"Okay, but it sounds kinda silly."

"Gotta agree with him there, Feathahs." I handed Imp ta him, then climbed out myself.

"Some of my priests had come for a late consultation about the chance of offering a love spell to a random worshipper at my next festival. They almost burst something trying not to laugh when Bliss streaked in and told me I had to come get my daughter out of the bath."

I materialized a towel and started ta dry off. "Sounds like a good idea."

"You would think so. No, I'm not promising a love spell to any random worshipper. It could screw things up for generations if it got into the wrong hands. I told them they could have a lust spell instead. Speaking of which..." He gave me a leer. "Lookin' good, Strife."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Beddie-bye fah tha rug rats first, lover."

Cupid smiled, an' suddenly Imp an' Bliss were both dry an' dressed in their sleep wear (both of 'em wore loose, floaty shifts that only had one shouldah, leavin their wings free). He took Bliss's hand, and reached toward me, then paused. "Put some clothes on, Strife, before I grab the most tempting handle to lead you."

I flashed on a pair of loose linen pants, and we walked back ta Bliss's room. Inside I sat on tha bed an' Cupe swatted Bliss's behind, pointing him toward tha shelf that held all his scrolls. "Pick out something." Cupid sat nexta me while Bliss dug through tha scrolls. "And don't pick one of those epics Gabrielle sent you."

He tickled Imp's feet while Bliss made his choice. She chortled, tryin ta kick him in tha face when he nibbled her toes. I knew she wasn't really tryin ta hurt him, but I kinda hoped that she'd remembah that tactic when she started datin.

Finally Bliss came trottin back, clutchin a scroll, an' climbed up on tha bed. Cupid took tha scroll. As Cupe took it, I conjured up a milk skin an' tested it on my wrist, makin sure it wasn't hot enough ta burn her or cold enough ta give her colic. "What did you pick this time, Bliss?" He unrolled tha scroll, then sighed. "Pokey Little Cerberus. What a surprise."

Bliss squirmed up on Cupe's lap, arranged himself comfortably, an' plugged his thumb inta his mouth. I held Imp where she could see tha sketches on tha scroll an' popped tha nipple inta her mouth. She started suckin lustily, but she was watchin tha scroll outta tha corner of her eye.

Cupe read tha scroll. He's a good reader--he does voices an' stuff. I gotta admit that tha idea of Cerberus as a puppy, tryin ta shove his brothah an' sistah pups away from tha milk wagon 'cause he was late gettin home was pretty funny... tha first few hundred times ya heard it.

It was a slow night. Bliss only demanded three readins. Imp finished tha skin an' dropped off somewhere in tha middle of tha second readin, a trickle of milk runnin down her chin. Before tha last line of tha third time Bliss had fallen asleep, goin so boneless that his thumb dropped outta his mouth. Cupid carfully moved him off his lap as I got up with Imp.

He pulled a sheet up ovah Bliss, leanin down ta give him a kiss. Bliss snored. As we tip-toed out I whispahed, "He takes aftah his daddy."

"I do not snore," Cupid whispered back.

We sneaked inta Imp's room. "Yah, right. Some strange, invisible woodcuttah slips inta our room at night an' saws logs." I tucked Imp inta her bed. She squirmed a little, but her eyes didn't open. We held our breaths. She blew a milk bubble, then was still. We tiptoed out as quietly as Autolycus creepin toward a treasure room.

In our room I said, "I'm afraid that Imp is bein indoctrinated, Cupe. By tha time Bliss gets old enough ta do without Pokey Little Cerberus, I think she'll start cravin it."

"Hopefully it will have disintigrated by then."

I put my hands flat on Cupid's chest an' pushed him so that he sat on tha bed. I sat on his lap, with my back to him. I let my head drop back on his shouldah an' gazed up at him, flutterin my eyelashes. "Tell me a story, daddy."

He grinned at me, leaned down, an' nipped my throat. "Once upon a time there was a naughty, naughty God of Mischief." I squirmed. "And he sorely tried his patient, loving husband by insisting on acting in the most provacative, sexy way when they were with others, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it." He nipped my earlobe. "And then his husband finally got him alone."

He put his hands on my waist, then slid 'em around an' down till he had a firm, double-handed grip on my crotch. Oh, did I mention that our pants had disappeahed somewhere along tha line? He stroked me firmly, an' I got hard fast. I wanted ta squirm some more, but he had his teeth set right where my neck joined my shouldah. Oh, not hard enough ta hurt, mind ya, but enough ta pinch, lettin me know who was in charge of this little escapade. "What happened then?"

He didn't reply, but I suddenly felt oil seepin in my back passage. One hand left my cock an' slithered undah me, probin. I moaned happily as one fingah slid up inside me an' started pumpin slowly. "Cupe, what happened then?"

He let go with his teeth, lickin tha little love bite he'd made, an' I felt a second fingah press inta me. "Lean forward," he said hoarsly.

I braced my feet an' leaned forward a little. He pushed hard. Tha change in angle had been just right, an' he hit my sweet spot. I yelped an' jerked, but he used his arm ta keep me from pullin away, an' he nevah missed a stroke, front or back.

Damn, it felt good, but I wasn't ready to let go of tha play actin yet. "Cuuupe! Tell me tha resta tha story! What happend next? Does it have a happy endin?"

"Sure it does." He pulled his fingahs outta my ass, grabbed my hips, an' slammed me down. I was spitted on his thick, rigid cock, filled almost ta burstin. I howled happily. Between my bouncin an' Cupid's buckin it didn't take long before I was spillin my seed ovah his hand. When I did I clamped down hard, an' Cupe came with a grunt, fillin me with heat.

We both went limp. He wrapped his arms around me, keepin me from slidin off his lap, an' fell backwards till I was layin on toppa him. "That was great," I panted. "But ya didn't finish tha story."

He threw me off onta tha mattress beside him, then rolled on toppa me, pinnin me down, an' kissed me. "If I finish the story, are you going to demand that I repeat it over and over and over again?"

"I dunno. Tell me an' we'll see."

"Okay. He got his husband alone and fucked him clear into the middle of next week, and his end was very happy." I giggled, huggin him. "I'm afraid I just got a brand new favorite story."

Bliss watched as Imp crept across tha floor. She was makin pretty good time. Her uppah body was off tha floor, an' she dragged herself along with her arms, kinds pushin with her legs. Bliss was sittin nexta me, watchin his sistah. He looked at me. "Don't her legs work?"

"Sure they work. Look, there." Imp had stopped ta examine a vein runnin through tha marble floor. She kicks her feet when she's thinkin.

"I mean don't they work to stand up? Is Imp gonna limp like Daddy Heph?" There was no real worry in Bliss's voice. Heph had been tha way he is all Bliss's life. Bliss doesn't really see anythin odd about Heph's twisted legs or scarred face. They're part of someone he loves, so they're all right. I love that kid.

"Nah. Imp's just gotta get biggah, an' strongah, an' work on her balance. She's a little slower'n you were about walkin, but she'll get there."

Bliss smiled at me curiously. "You 'member me when I was that little?"

"Aw, heck yeah, kiddo. I knew you when you weren't nothin but feathas an' eyes, seemed like."

He watched as Imp reached a low table and sat in front of it, studying it. "You watched me when I learned to walk?"

I felt my smile fadin a little, an cleared my throat. "Nah, fraid not. I was, um, away then."

It had been when Cupe an' Psyche were still hitched. I'd heard about it, though. Cupid showed up at my place, totin Bliss an' so excited he was almost moltin, babblin about his little boy growin up. Then he put Bliss down an' I got ta see him take two wobbly steps before he plopped down on his butt, gigglin. We had wine an' cakes ta celebrate (Bliss gettin mosta tha cakes). While we were watchin him smear crumbs around, Cupe quietly told me that he had ta share this with someone, an' Ares was in tha middle of a war, an' Dite was presidin ovah a festival in Corinth. I asked about Psyche. He picked up Bliss an' materialized a cloth, startin ta clean tha baby. He said he didn't know where she was. I changed tha subject then, I changed it now. "Watch Imp!"

Imp had grabbed tha table leg an' was tryin ta pull herself up. Problem was her legs didn't bend tha right way fah her ta get up that way. Didn't stop her from tryin, though. She tugged an' pulled. Her face squinched up an' got damp an' pink... *Hm, kinda like she does when she's makin a poopie. I better check her didie in a little while.* She was gruntin an' makin little noises that were probably baby swears.

"Boy, she means business, don't she?" Bliss's voice was admiring.

"You betcha. That's her othah dad comin out." I tapped Bliss on tha nose. "Life lesson, squirt: Love is wunna tha most persistant forces in tha universe."

He nodded solemnly. "He never believes me when I tell 'im I don't need a bath."

We watched Imp. She hugged tha table leg an' strained. She sat back an' shook her hand at tha table. "Bah tah! Bah! Oo mm uh bah!"

Bliss laughed. I cocked my head. "Okay, give." Bliss had turned inta our interpretah for Imp."

"She's mad at it cause it won't let her climb up." He yelled, "Bad table! Bad table!"

Imp gave him a 'you said it, brothah' look. She lay down on her tummy, grabbed tha leg again, an' started ta strain. She managed ta lift her torso off tha floor a coupla inches, then plopped back down, on her face. She rolled ovah on her side, kicked her legs, waved her arms, an' screamed! I felt a mild tickle of energy, and hurried ovah to pick her up. Cupe had noticed that there was a significant rise in tha numbah of 'who tha hell were you lookin at?' squabbles between couples whenevah Imp got pissed about somethin. I thought that we were gonna hafta talk ta Hera 'bout maybe puttin some sorta bindin on Imp's godly powahs till she reached tha age of reason... *snicker* I'm sorry, that term is soooo damn funny. Anyways, if we didn't, when she hit tha terrible twos there could be enough jealousy-induced love troubles ta screw with tha population rate of Greece.

I snagged Imp an' picked her up. "Darn that ol table!" I kicked it. I sweah, she shook her hand at it an' cussed it out in baby talk. I know that cause Bliss put his hands ovah his ears an' grinned. "Tell ya what, Imp-ress, that ol' table can't stand against botha us! Lemme help ya." I lowered her nexta tha table. "Grab hold!" She stiffened her legs, but didn't reach fah tha table. "Grab hold, Imp! Hang on." She peered ovah her shouldah at me, lookin perplexed.

Bliss said, "Grag the table, Imp!"

Imp's face lighted, an' she latched onta tha table edge. I looked at Bliss. "How tha Tartarus do ya do that?" He shrugged. "Okay, Imp, here we go." I slowly let her support her own weight, but kept my hands on her, incase her knees buckled.

She gave me an' Bliss a pleased look. "Ha!"

"Applaud, Bliss. I can't let go right now." Bliss clapped fah Imp. She beamed. Hm, wondah if we oughta see about addin Vanity ta her godhood?

Cupid came in, unslingin his quivah. "Honey, I'm home." I shook my head. That time we snuck inta tha Halls of Time an' watched sitcoms from tha 1950s has certain hangovahs. At least he's stopped callin Bliss Beaver. We greeted him with a chorus, Imp included, though her's was just, "Da!" Yeah, we finally got her ta drop Mama. Now Cupe is Da an' I'm Pa. I'm workin on gettin her ta double syllables. Bein called Pa makes me feel like I should be sittin on a porch, spittin tobacco juice, with a buncha hound dogs around me.

Bliss scampahed ovah an' got a hug, then took Cupid's crossbow ta put it away. Cupe coulda just flashed it inta storage, but he knew how much Bliss liked helpin his daddies. Cupid came ovah an' squatted down beside us. He ruffled Imp's hair (yeah, she had enough ta ruffle now. I was constantly chasin 'Dite away from her ta keep her from bein wrapped in pink ribbon.), then kissed her on tha forehead. Imp kinda arched up ta tha kiss, like a cat. Well, yeah, ya know what they say about cats an' jealousy, so I guess it was ta be expected.

"Hello, my little sweetheart," Cupid crooned, strokin her wings. Then he reached ovah and ran his hand back inta my hair, pulled me toward him, an' gave me a kiss not on tha forehead, and considerably wetter than tha one Imp got, yowza! He pulled back with a final lick an' smiled at me. "Hello, my big sweetheart."

"How'd it go taday, Hunkaluv?"

He laughted. "Busy. There was a Maiden's Festival in Kalikos, that happened to coincide with a Wine Festival." He smirked. "The village population of maidens is going to be significantly smaller tomorrow."

I cackled. "I knew I was gettin some energy from somewhere."

As we spoke, Cupe was stroking Imp's pudgy lil' arms with one big fingah. She was watchin it move up an' down, up an' down. When he got ta her wrist, she suddenly moved. He looked down ta find her lil' hand wrapped around his fingah. "Oo, captured by Jealousy!"

He shuffled back a coupla steps, till his arm was outstretched, with Imp still holdin his fingah. "Wanna come to Daddy, sweetie?"

"I don't think she's ready fah that, Cupe. She just now stood up."

"Maybe she's not ready for it, but that never stopped you from trying something, did it?"

"True." Imp was lookin back an' forth between us. "Up ta you, doll. Try it if ya want. Aftah all, yer still wearin tha extra paddin, if ya fall." I let go of her. She immediately started ta wobble. Her eyes got real big, her legs bent, an' she plopped flat on her butt. She still had hold of Cupe's fingah, an' she grabbed it with her other hand an' immediately started tryin ta pull herself up.

"Oof! You're getting big, Imp!" Cupe said.

I gave a mock gasp. "Cupe! Imagine, talkin ta a female about her weight! Imagine how Dite would react ta somethin like that."

Cupid rolled his eyes. "I'd rather not, thank you. Hang on, baby." He started to pull. With him pullin an' Imp strainin, she got about halfway up before she lost her grip on his fingah an' flopped down again. She did tha whole limb wavin, wing flappin, baby cussin thing again, an' Cupe an' me sniggerin didn't help.

Bliss came back in. "Why's Imp mad now?"

"Pretty much the same reason as last time," Cupe told him. "She's about decided she wants to learn to walk, and she can't quite do it yet."

Bliss plopped down on tha floor nexta Imp, pettin her hair an' wings. "It's okay, Impy. You'll get it. Just remember, I'll help you any time you want."

Imp immediately crawled inta Bliss's lap. She grabbed at him an' struggled. He sat still while she managed ta haul herself upright till she was standin between his legs, both arms around his neck. She was real pleased with herself about that, an' she laughed. She started ta try ta climp farthah up Bliss (I dunno where she thought she was goin. Maybe she wanted ta sit on his shouldahs.)

All of a sudden Bliss yelled, "Ow!" Imp did wunna those full body jerks I hadn't seen fah a long time, an' started ta tumble straight back. I caught her before she could land an' brain herself or sprain a wing.

"Bliss!" Cupid sounded almost as surprised as Imp looked.

Bliss looked at Cupid, an' there were almost tears in his eyes. His voice was a whisper. "Well, I'm sorry, but... Gee, I'm glad Imp ain't wearing boots." That's when I noticed he was holdin his crotch.

I didn't laugh. If it woulda been Herc, or Apollo, or *snicker* Zeus, I woulda, believe me. Even Unca Ares, though I hope I'da had enough sense ta get out of hearing range first. I scooped tha fussy Imp inta tha crook of my arm, bouncin her tha way she liked. "Ya done good, kid. Ya can't fault someone fah makin a little noise when tha Center of tha Universe gets trod on, an' ya just yelled, ya didn't push."

Imp had stopped cryin an' was starin at Bliss with kind of a worried expression. She pushed at me, an' I put her back on tha floor. She crawled right ovah ta Bliss an' plopped down nexta him. Then she looked up inta his face, pattin his leg an' jabberin at him.

He hugged her. "That's okay, Imp. Just remember not to go kicking a guy in his private parts anymore." He thought for a second, then said, "Not unless he's icky and giving your trouble."

I looked at Cupid an' thought ta him, //If it wasn't fah tha fact that I wouldn't touch Psyche with Charon's barge pole, I'd think tha kid was wunna mine.// Bliss patted Cupid on tha back when his dad started chokin, an' Cupe told him that he thought he'd accidentally swallowed a feathah.

Latah that Week

*grunt* *strain* *climb* *wobble* *plop* "Whaaaaaaaaa!"

"C'mon, Imp. You can do it!" Bliss makes a great cheerin section.

"Bah ka ummme fah!"

"No, the bad chair didn't make you fall. You're legs just got tired. Try again."

*whine*

"C'mon. You're not a quitter."

I looked up from tha scroll I was studyin. It was a new recipe fah a powdah that would cause anyone it got on ta develope a complexion like a speckled robin's egg fah about a week. I was tryin ta figure out if it could be made in liquid form, an' taken internally. If it could, Iphicles was gonna have spiked wine at his next court function.

Imp was just gettin back on her feet, clutchin tha chair. She reached out fah Bliss, but he scooted around behind tha chair. "Come and get me!"

I watched as Imp staggered around tha chair, expression almost grim, holdin onta it fah dear life. She had almost gotten within reach of Bliss when he scooted around ta tha othah side again. She scolded him, but didn't stop movin as she stared around toward him again.

Bliss caught my eye. "She's getting a lot better at this walking, Daddy Strife. Look!" Imp had let go of tha chair for a minute. She was standin there, wobblin, face squinched up in concentration like she was tryin ta do quantum physics in her head. She had both her hands raised up about shouldah height, an' was clenchin her fingahs inta fists. She started wobblin even more, and I figured she was about ta flop again. then she flapped her wings, an' steadied. She started ta wibble, flapped again, an' steadied again.

"Whoa! Way ta go, Imp!" I crowed. "Now all ya gotta do is learn ta use 'em ta steer."

A week Latah

"Okay, where are we goin?"

"Strife, there isn't a really big choice here."

"Look, Cupe, as teeny as she is, a coupla degrees difference in where I'm headin an' where you're headin can make a big difference."

"Okay. How about from here to the bed? That's just a little more than a yard. It shouldn't be too hard for her."

"Awright. Imp?"

She was sittin between us, an she looked up. "Yah?" Cupe an' me both poked fingahs down at her.

She looked from one ta tha othah several times. I shook my head. "Ya don't gotta go through that whole female 'which one do I want?' thing, Imp. Ya can grab both." She grabbed Cupe's fingah an' started tryin ta pull up. "Imp!"

Bliss came in. "Whatcha doing?"

"We think Imp can walk without furniture if she holds on on both sides, but she doesn't seem to get the idea." Imp was danglin from Cupes fingah.

"Oh." Bliss leaned ovah. "Imp?"

She looked at him. "Yah?"

"Try holding on to Daddy Strife's finger, too. You'll stay up easier."

"Ah!" She reached ovah an grabbed my fingah with her othah hand.

I blinked at Bliss. "How tha Tartarus do ya do that?"

He shrugged. "It's a kid thing. You wouldn't understand."

"I gotta stop tellin ya tha slang I learn in tha Halls of Time."

We started toward tha bed. Imp staggered between us, legs wibblin an' wobblin. Tha knees went once, but she hung on, danglin, till she managed ta get her feet undah her again, an' we finished up. We got ta tha bed, an' Bliss clapped like he'd just seen tha finish of a hot chariot race. He punched his fist in tha air, chantin, "Imp! Imp! Imp!"

"Ray, Imp!" I picked her up an' gave her a little toss up onta tha bed. She squealled happily, flappin her wings...

An' she hovahed.

It was just fah a split second, but she definitely hung there before she dropped.

Cupe an' me stared at each othah. Bliss laughed, clappin again. He flapped his own wings an' managed ta lift himself enough ta settle on tha mattress beside her.

"Ah, shit, Cupe. I don't wanna hafta start tetherin her."

He sighed. "That won't be necessary, hon. I'll speak to Ace."

My voice was sharp. "We ain't clippin her wings, eithah!"

"Strife! As if I'd ever concent to mutilating my daughter!"

I was a little ashamed of myself. I shoulda known bettah. "I'm sorry, babe. What are ya thinkin of?"

"Her wings don't have to be clipped. He'll just trim the feathers short for awhile. You're too young to remember, but they had to do that to me before I got old enough to know better." He ruffled Bliss's hair. "We didn't have to do it with Bliss--he managed to get in enough trouble on the ground, I guess. It doesn't hurt at all. It's just kind of annoying." He sighed, stroking our daughtah's silky silver-grey wings. "And ugly."

"Crap!" I loved Imp's wings--they were a symbol to me of her othah fathah in her.

Cupe hugged me. "Not for long, love. Probably just till she's about two." His eyes twinkled. "Or until she learns to understand us as well as she understands Bliss."

An' two more weeks

"Daddy?"

Cupe an' me looked up an' chorused, "Yeah?"

Bliss said, "I need a belt, an' I can't figure out how to make one." He held up a long daisy chain. "It keeps coming out all funny." He showed us a thick strand of licorice. "I just can't think it right."

"Whatcha need a belt for, Blissy?" I asked.

"I'll show you." He walked ovah ta where Imp was sittin on tha floor, playin with a ball Heph had made fah her. It made chimes as she rolled it back an' forth. Bliss stood in front of her, then turned his back on her.

Imp looked up alertly, then pushed her ball away. She got on her hands an' knees and crawled ovah ta Bliss. She grabbed his legs in back an' started ta pull herself up. Her head was bumpin up around his butt. I looked at Cupe. "That explains why he ain't wearin tha kilt much anymore."

Cupid nodded. "Having your baby sister poke her head up your skirt would tend to encourage a wardrobe change. Bliss, I still don't see why you need a belt."

"Just watch."

Imp stretched her hands up an' grabbed tha back of Bliss's pants. Then she sat back down. Bliss's pants started ta come with her. He grabbed them in front, but not before they'd stretched in back, showin off a kiddie butt that was just as cute as Imp's baby butt. Bliss looked back ovah his shouldah at us, expression agrieved. "See?"

I was shakin with laughtah while Cupe materialized a nice leatha belt an' helped tha kid fit it on his pants. When he was done, Imp crawled back up an' grabbed tha belt. This time nothin drooped. She crowed happily, an' Bliss started ta walk with teeny, tiny steps. Imp staggered along aftah him. She had a gate like a drunk mercenary, but she was walkin.

We clapped, an' Bliss an Imp conga lined outta there, headed fah Bliss's room. I couldn't stop laughin. Cupe poked me. "That's too much laughter just for Imp tailing Bliss. What is it?"

"I dunno, exactly," I confessed. "But when she dragged his drawers down, an' he was lookin ovah his shouldah like that, I had tha strangest urge ta slap some of Apollo's sun-protection cream on 'em."

*Crash*

"Oop."

*thudthudthudthud* *scree* "Oh, crap."

Cupid's voice floated back to tha bedroom. "Strife? What happened?"

"Ya know when we moved everythin breakable up outta Imp's reach?"

"Yes?"

"Ya know that vase Demeter gave us fah our commitment gift?"

"Oh, crap."

"Exactly."

Cupid came in just as I was carefully liftin Imp away from tha shards of pottery. "Apparantly tha lil booger has grown anutha inch."

Cupid sighed. "Well, I never did like that vase."

Imp pointed at tha mess on tha floor. "Oop, Da. Oop, Pa."

I giggled an' snuggled my nose against her soft, plump cheek. "Yah, that's right, baby--a nice, big oops. Gave Pa a nice lil energy nibble, there."

Cupid had materialized a flat pan an' a little whisk broom, an' was sweepin up tha shards. "I thought that I knew how to godling-proof a temple, since I did it once with Bliss. Imp seems to be exploring new territories of mischief." I raised an eyebrow at him, an' he laughed, "Yes, right, forget I said that."

Bliss came in, muchin on a handful of grapes. "Imp break something else?" I pointed. "Oh," he said dismissively. "It was ugly, anyway." He offered Imp a grape, and she reached for it eagerly.

I pulled her back. "No ya don't! Bliss, no grapes. Remembah tha last time?" Imp had gotten excited at tha wrong moment an' had inhaled a grape. Yeah, it couldn't kill her, but SHE didn't know that, an' it was absolutely no comfort ta me at all while she was wheezin an' turnin blue. Cupid was tryin ta hold her upside down so he could thump her on tha back, an' of course she was squirmin like a basket of eels.

Joxer took her away from him, an' sat, holdin her on his lap with her back against his belly. Then, on each side, he laid two fingahs on her belly, ovah her lil button, but undah her ribs. Then he quickly pressed up an' in. She wheezed. He did it again, an' she spit tha grape out an' started cryin. A coupla minutes latah Ares walked in an' wanted ta know why tha Tartarus I was kissin his consort stupid. I asked Joxer how he knew what ta do, an' he said that as clumsy an' accident prone as he was when he was mortal, learin stuff like that had been a mattah of survival.

Bliss nodded his understandin, pullin back tha offered grape. Imp told him, loud an' long, that she wasn't pleased with havin her prospective snack taken away. Bliss's eyes got round. "Wow, Imp! What a mouth on you!"

I looked at Cupe, who was sniggerin. "I'd give a bucket of dinars ta know what tha Tartarus she's sayin."

"She's been awful fussy lately. I'll be glad when she gets done teething," Cupid sighed.

"I'll be glad if this one will just make an appearance an' get it ovah with. She's crankier than a horde of Amazons with synced monthlies."

"Ah!" she said loudly. Then that bottom lip stuck out, an' big, fat tears welled up in those bright green eyes, an' started streakin down her smooth cheeks.

"Aw, Imp!" I hugged her, an' she moaned, letting it rise into a wail that woulda done credit to a harpy. I pulled back an' wiggled a fingah in tha ear that had gotten tha worst of it. "Yah, baby, I know it hurts. There was that time I caught a bouldah in tha mouth when Mom was on a tear ovah somethin I did, an' she blackmailed Apollo inta making sure that I didn't heal instantly." I snorted. "Oath of healin my ass. I had ta grow tha damn teeth back, an' it aches like nobody's business when they get ready ta cut through tha gums." She gabbled agreement. "An' you can't even get pissy drunk ta help it, can ya?"

"She most certainly can't. Where are her teething toys?" said Cupid.

Bliss glanced around. "Prob'ly everywhere. She drags them all over, then just leaves them. I found one in my sandbox, and I think I saw Mjau playing with one over at Granpa's place yesterday."

"I think I know where one is." Cupid went to tha table. There was a bowl of snow (courtesy of Gaia, it nevah melted) sittin there. Cupid dug inta it, an' came up with a smooth marble wring, not quite big enough ta be used as a bracelet. He brought it back and offered it ta our daughtah. "Here, Imp. Nice and cool. It'll feel good on your poor gums."

Imp reached fah it, but when she touched it, she jerked her hands back, goin, "Buurr, Da."

"Yes, it's cold, but it will help." He touched it to her lips. She opened her mouth, an' he eased the rim of tha ring inta her mouth. She tentatively bit down on it, an' her eyes got real big. She made a pleased sound, an' grabbed at tha ring, startin ta chew on it. "That's better, isn't it, love?" She mumbled around her mouthful, lettin go with one hand ta reach out an' pat Cupe's cheek. "You're welcome, baby."

Bliss had taken tha filled pan an' gone out ta dump it in tha trash. He came back. "Is Imp gonna be able to eat real people food when her teeth come in?"

"Well, she ain't gonna be tearin off a chunk of roast any time soon, but we'll starte experimentin, lettin her have different things," I told him. "She's still gonna be on bread an' mushy stuff for awhile."

Bliss made a face. "Yuck."

Bliss nodded, drool oozing around tha ring ta string down her chin. "Uck."

"Tough titty, kiddo, an' ain't I glad I gotcha weaned before this started? Anyways, Cupe who was that in front?"

He blinked, mouth doin that 'O' thing that gets me so hot. (Yeah, yeah, I know--everything he does gets me hot.) "Tartarus, I forgot! There's a huge impromptu orgy that just got started at a village festival in Tellopolis, and she needs me to help her make sure that some important couplings don't get screwed up! I have to go!" He leaned ovah an' pecked me on tha cheek, materializin his bow an' quivah. "Be back soon, maybe an hour."

"Waitaminit! I hafta..." *Flash Gone in a shower of pink sparklies, dammit. I stamped my foot! "I have a war council ta disrupt! Unc's gonna skin my butt if I let 'em make any progress toward battle t'day! Oo!" I started pacin. "What am I gonna do with Imp? Dite's obviously out, Heph has a 'DO NOT DISTURB' ward on his forge cause he's workin on somethin new, Ares an' Joxer took Cord ta Chin for a little culture, aftah what Demeter put Pep through, I ain't lettin her get her mits on my daughtah, Apollo..." I snorted. "Yeah, right, like I'm gonna leave a female relative of mine of ANY age with him." I glanced down at Bliss, who was givin me the wide blue eyes bit. "Uh, not that he'd do anythin, kiddo, but he ain't always that careful about lockin doors when he gets tagetha with the Muses." Bliss nodded, which made me think that I'd hafta ask him about that sometime. Might be blackmail material there. "Pep is downside with Hades, an' I don't think I want Imp visitin Asphodel yet, um..."

"I can watch her."

I looked at Bliss. "Yah, right. Okay, Phobos an' Deimos are out. Hestia's good, but I ain't sure I want Imp around all those ovens..."

"Daddy Strife, I can watch her."

"Look, Bliss, yer a great big brother, an' ya do good, but..."

"You won't be gone long, huh?"

"Um, prob'ly only about an hour. I dunno why they hafta have that freakin orgy at tha same time as the council." I scowled at tha ceilin. "Darn Fates!"

"I can take care of her for an hour." I looked at him. He put his hands on his hips an' stuck out his bottom lip. Damn, he'd nevah be able ta deny sharin blood with Imp an' his daddy. "Daddy Strife! I'm 'most seven by now!"

"In about eight more months."

"Well, I'm more'n halfway there. We're not going anywhere, and you can put up a shield to keep out anything but you, n' Daddy, n' maybe Ace. I can do it!"

"I can see that we're gonna hafta work on yer fractions a little maore, kiddo." I sighed. "Cupid will kick my butt if anything happens. Tartarus with that--he won't have to. I'll just throw myself off Olympus. But..." I eyed Bliss. He stood up real straight, wearin 'responsible expression #2'. *We've gotten everything breakable put away, daylight so tha torchs aren't lit an' we don't hafta worry about fire. I can block up tha bathin room, an' tell him not ta feed her anythin...*

"Youse thinking an awful long time, Daddy Strife."

I sighed. "Yah, this should be a good experience for ya both." I settled Imp on tha rug (we put in a lotta rugs aftah we noticed goosebumps on her legs when she was crawlin ovah tha marble), an' tucked a few wisps of green-brown hair behind her ears. "Ya know, Impster, yer so far ovah that bald stage that I think ya may end up givin Pep a run fah tha title of Hair Queen." I kissed her forehead. "You be good fah Bliss, an' I'll let ya pull my hair when I get back."

"You let her do that anyway," Bliss observed.

I whispahed, "Don't tell her that. I need all tha bargainin chips I can get." I kissed him on toppa his blonde curls. "I know I don't gotta tell ya to be careful, Blissy. You're a big guy, so you'll know what ta do. I'm puttin up tha shield as soon as I'm gone, an' I'll be back as fast as I can." I hesitated. "If Cupe gets back before I do, maybe we don't gotta mention this to him, huh?"

Bliss smiled at me. "Mischief, huh?"

I giggled. "Well, I'd rathah not this kind, but yah, I guess so." I twiddled my fingahs at him. "Be back soon."

*Flash* I can't tell ya what exactly I did at tha council. A lil jock itch ta make one side irritable, some bad breath ta offend tha other, a few marks on battleplans ta make it look like someone was eithah incompetent or subversive, changin a few figurahs on what would be provided in tha way of support (weapons, supplies, men) so that someone looked chinchy. What's tha diff? It worked. I had a nice fistfight goin when I left. It'd take 'em a week or more ta get back ta where they could talk without a snarl in their voices.

I was just about ta leave, job well done, when Cupid flashed in nexta me. "Eep! Uh, Cupe! I thought ya hadta..."

"You'd be surprised at how quickly an orgy can come to a halt when some of the participants get food poisoning. One upchucks, and there's a sort of a chain reaction, and the mood is kind of spoiled. Babe, I'm sorry, I completely forgot you had this scheduled today. Who'd you get to stay with Bliss and Imp?"

"Uh..."

Cupid frowned. I could see him mentally tickin ovah tha possibilities in his mind, an' comin ta tha same conclusions I had. Tha frown deepened fah a second, an' he looked at me. I think I was sorta squinched up like I usedta be when I nevah knew when a fist might come flyin at me from nowhere. His look softened. "Bliss is babysitting?" I nodded warily.

Ta my eternal relief, he hugged me. "That's great, babe. It's about time he started taking a little responsibility. Still, let's get back there--now."

"Ya don't gotta convince me!"

*Flash*

I've heard that when be appear tagetha, it's kinda pretty, tha way tha pink an' blue sparklies mingle--sorta like one of those Roman candle things they make in Chin (an' why tha Tartarus tha Romans got ta stick their name on such a cool thing, I'll nevah know).

We appeared in our bedroom. A quick glance around showed that it was empty. "Bliss?" I called.

"We're in my room!" Bliss called. "Imp's fine."

"Didn't ask, but thanks anyway."

Cupid said, "Hon, I'm going to go grab a quick bath, okay?" He shuddered. "I managed to keep from getting soiled, but seeing all that upchuck makes you fell kind of grubby." He headed toward tha bathroom.

I decided ta take off my boots before I went in ta visit tha kids. I didn't want Bliss ta think that I was runnin ta check up on him. I walked around tha bed ta sit on 'my' side (yeah, don't ALL married couples have 'their' sides of tha bed?), an' stopped short. You think Bliss has wide eyes? Ya shoulda seen mine right about then--I think I managed a square yard.

The *ahem* goodie box wasn't tucked neatly undah tha bed anymore. It was dragged out beside it, an' it was open. That thing wasn't s'posed ta be out unless tha brats were both tucked safely in bed, or visitin somewhere. "Oh, man! Bliss!"

*patterpatterpatter* "Yes?" I pointed. "Ididn'tdoititwasImpitwasn'tmyidea."

"Nice try."

He shrugged. "Well, she was crawling around, and she crawled under the bed. I tried to pull her out, but she had hold of it, and wouldn't let go, and I didn't want to hurt her, so I pulled it out. Then you know how she uses stuff to stand up? Well, she pulled up on it, and she played with the catch, and started pushing it up."

"Ain't any way she coulda done that alone, Bliss. Her arms are too short."

He sighed. "Okay, I opened it, but Daddy Strife, you know how she gets when she wants something."

I nodded. It was harder ta refuse Imp than it was ta... Crap, I have a hard time comin up with a comparison. But she can eithah do a harpy impersonation, or give ya tha big eyes, or tha tremblin lip, an' ya just cave. I couldn't deny her anythin that wasn't actually bad for her. I knew I was gonna hafta grow a spine tah deal with her sometimes soon, but I was enjoyin indulgin her.

He was still talkin. "Anyways, I didn't think it would be too much of a bad. She was tired of playing with her stuff and my stuff, and I've heard you and Daddy call this your toy box, so..."

"Bliss! Ya didn't!"

*blink* "Didn't what?"

I gave tha contents of tha box a quick scan. Yah, it wasn't as full as it shoulda been, but I didn't take tha time tah see what was missin--I just headed fah Bliss's room.

I screeched ta a halt just inside tha door. Imp was sittin in tha middle of Bliss's rug, perfectly safe, an' whole, an' *coughcoughcough* amusin herself.

*sniff*

I'm sorry. It still gets ta me. I almost fell on Bliss, I was laughin so hard. "Cupe! Get yer feathahd butt in here--now!

"

*thudthudthudthud* "Babe! What's wrong? Is Imp...?"

He bumped inta me. I grabbed him. "Cupe, get hold of yerself, an' just remembah--we're careful. Everythin gets washed real good before it's put away, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

I moved aside so that he could get a look at ouah daughtah. Imp looked up at him an' gave him tha gums in a big grin. Then she stuck our cock ring back in her mouth an' started chewin on it.

"That... that... that...?"

"Yer cute when ya stuttah, an' yah, that is what ya think it is. Ya do realize that I'm nevah gonna be able ta use that again?"

"Strife, this isn't funny! It's..." he wrinkled his nose, "disgusting."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't wanna say anythin, cause there's delicate ears around, but I nevah noticed you havin a problem with..."

"But that's my little girl! She kisses me with that mouth!"

"Hey, it coulda been worse."

"How?"

"Lookit what she's usin as a rattle."

He looked. Sure enough, clutched in tha othah chubby hand was a string of beads, each one about as big as a good sized marble. She saw us lookin, an' shook 'em vigorously, clatterin 'em on tha floor. Then she held 'em up, showin 'em to us. "Yah, baby, I'm intimately familiah with those." I looked ovah at my husband, wigglin my eyebrows. "As is yer othah daddy."

Cupid turned red from his hair roots tah tha middle of his chest. Sheesh, it usually takes me at least ten minutes of intense foreplay ta get him that shade. Fah a split second I was worried that he was gonna blow. Then he started laughin. That started me off again, an' pretty soon we were sorta proppin each othah up.

Bliss just stared at us. He went ovah an' sat nexta Imp, sayin, "Don't worry, Imp. Grownups get that way sometimes."

We were finally down tah just tears an' chuckles. Cupid wiped his eyes. "Oooh-kay, that was interesting." I giggled. "Yeah, laugh. We're going to have to replace those, along with finding something else we can give her to keep her from getting ticked at losing them."

"Right. Kinda lookin forward ta that, actually. I just love testin out new toys with ya."

Imp had dropped her othah toys, an' was playin with her doll. That's what I thought at first glance. I looked a little closah. Yah, it was wearin a dress, but it was distinctly male. As male as it's possible fah an inanimate object tah get, if ya know what I mean. An' it gave me an idea. Someday in tha future, I'm gonna inspire someone tah dress cocks up in clothes an' make pictures of 'em. I'm sure it'll look even funnier than our dildo did.

I looked at Cupe. "But first, we gotta get a padlock."

Family gatherins--gotta loath 'em.

Well, maybe not all of 'em. Sometimes tha informal ones can be pretty cool, when everyone's relaxed, an' not inta that 'I'm a God, gotta keep up tha dignity' bullshit.

Um, I'm not talkin about tha orgies, ya understand. Different thing entirely. I mean full family bashes--godlings an' all. Kids add a whole new dimension ta things, ya know? F'rinstance, people are a lot more likely ta keep a few clothes on. Um, that don't always go fah tha kids, though.

We was at a little bash Zeus was throwin, sort of in honor of tha most recent crop of godlings. That was Accord, Impetua an' Bliss, wunna Poseidon's tadpoles, an' Ace's first kid by wunna tha Muses. Tha last two hadn't even had a godhood designated yet--Zeus had been too distracted when they were born. There was speculation that he was gonna make tha announcement--that was one reason why tha get tagetha was so well attended, an' everyone was in such a good mood. Babies do that ta people. Well, they do when ya aren't on Poopy Patrol. A particulahly spectaculah (if I do say so myself) blowjob had earned me some time off from that--Cupe was takin his turn at keepin The Universe's Cutest Baby Bottom sweet an' clean.

We was ovah in a cornah where someone had laid a nice quilt ovah a bench for a changin table. It had been doin a fairly brisk business so fah, an' Imp was takin her turn at it. Someone (I'm pretty sure it was Hera, 'cause I seriously doubt Zeus woulda been that practical or thoughtful) had set up a little basin that had continually renewin warm watah in it.

Imp was kickin her legs an' blowin spit bubbles (a talent of which I am foolishly proud) while Cupie carefully made one last pass with tha cloth. I was relaxin on the end of tha bench, poppin tha spit bubbles when they got big enough, an' earin Imp scolds fah my troubles. I dunno why I bothah ta try ta censor my speech at all around her. She's gonna swear like a sailah when she's oldah.

Cupie was grumblin as he tried ta fold tha fresh diapah (Hera doesn't believe in pre-folded--she thinks that that some things should be work, an' it makes things too easy fah parents. *giggle* It's gonna be sooo much fun when disposables hit tha market). I took pity on 'im. "Cupe? Leave her bare an' plop her in tha kiddy pool." I pointed ovah ta tha pool in tha center of tha room.

It was about half as big as an adult bathin pool, but only about mid-shin deep anywhere in it. There were a half-dozen assorted godlings splashin an' playin in it, havin a Tartarus of a time. Grown ups steered way clear ta avoid splashes, but lemme tell ya, some of those kids had distance.

"Are you sure?" Cupid asked doubtfully. "It's awful active in there."

"I'm sure." I pointed as Posiedon's current lady love laid her month old baby face down in tha watah. Tha little booger quickly sprouted gills an' a tail, an' went pootin off through the watah. Uh, I mean that literally. He left a trail of bubbles, an' othah kids scramblin an' squealin outta his way. I decided I needed ta keep a watch on that kid. "Besides, they got a coupla watah nymphs actin as life guards, an' Bliss is in there, so no one's likely ta stomp on her." I leaned ovah. "Howsabout it, toot?" Imp grinned up at me. Two teeth on tha bottom, an' two on tha top. Damn, I was glad breast feedin was a thing of tha past.

Cupid hefted her up an' we walked ovah ta tha pool. "Yo, Bliss." Bliss, also nekkid, splashed ovah. Since he was out on the rim, kinda on public display, he brought his wings way forward, pullin tha tips in till he had kind of a feathahry shield ovah his important bits. Aw, they're so cute when they start gettin modest. "Imp wants ta play a little. Can you watch her?"

He gave me a 'duh' look. "Course I can. Just set her down, Daddy," he instructed Cupid. Cupid started to lower Imp. Her feet touched watah, an' she started doin tha peddlin bit, squawkin. Bliss said firmly, "Imp!"

She paused, looking at him. "Yah?"

"It's not a bath."

"Nuh?"

"No. It's swimming. It's fun."

"Ah. Dow!" She started bouncing, trying to get inta tha watah as hard as she'd been tryin ta get away from it.

"Contrary female," Cupid grumbled fondly, lowerin her gently inta tha watah. She stiffened her legs an' grabbed Bliss's hand. We watched as he led her, staggerin along, out inta tha play group. She was bendin ovah now an' then ta paddle at tha watah, cooin an' squealin.

I started ta steer Cupid away, an' he said, "You're right, Strife. What was I worried about?"

"Got me, Feathahs. I wouldn'ta worried about her gettin squashed. Personally, I'd worry about her drinkin tha watah. They pee in it, ya know." He started ta turn around, but I gripped his arm an' kept him movin in tha othah direction. "We useta share baths, remembah? It ain't like eithah of us nevah did." He looked a little green at that, but he kept goin with me. *chuckle* I love screwin with his mind like that.

We wandered around, schmoozin with whoevah we happened ta bump inta. That actually happened once or twice. Dionysius had laid in some killah stuff, an' ya know how it is--every family has one or two who don't seem ta be able ta make it through any family gatherin without gettin a snootful. I usedta be sorta in that class myself, before me an' Cupe made tha connection. It... uh... if ya don't feel like a part of it, it can be kinda painful ta watch the warm an' fuzzies, ya know? But that's behind me now that I have Cupid an' Bliss an' Imp, an' that's part of what made me see such a violent shade of red latah.

Huh? I'm comin ta it.

Impatient.

A little latah there was a flappin ovah head. I looked up quick. Yah, we'd been prunin Imp's feathahs just enough ta keep her from liftin off, but I was still a little paranoid about it. It wasn't her, though. I had ta duck my head again real quick ta keep it from goin straight up Bliss's kilt as he settled on my shouldahs. I bounced him. "Sneak attack!" He laughed, grabbin my hair. "Gonna turn ya ovah ta Unc ta set up aerial attacks wunna these days," I threatened, makin him laugh harder. "Where's yer sistah?"

"With Gran'ma 'Ris. She took her away from Gran'ma 'Dite."

I got a giggle outta that. Imp is turnin inta a bone of contention between Mom an' Dite. She comes back from 'Dite swathed in pink stuff so fluffy that it doesn't stop floatin till ten seconds aftah her butt hits tha floor. Mom turns kinda green when she sees that, an' brings her back home in scarlet or... Um, I gotta admit that tha black is a little strange on a baby Imp's age. Tha lil soft leathah baby armor she gave her for tha Autumn festival was cute, though.

Bliss leaned ovah an' smacked a kiss on my forehead. "Imp wants to walk. I gotta go steer." He flapped hard an' lifted off. I watched him swoop ovah tha crowd's heads toward a little cleared space. There was a lot of duckin. He still didn't have full control of his flyin yet, an' sometimes he lost track of where a foot was goin.

Eris pushed up beside me, an' reached past me to tha table for a cup of wine. "She's a genius--you know that, don't you?"

"Yah, Ma, I'm aware of that fact."

"She managed to unlace my boots, then tangle the laces together when I wasn't looking. I almost ended up with a pug nose, courtesy of the floor." She took a deep drink.

"That's my girl. Uh, speakin of which..." I looked around. "Where is she?" Ma gave me a dark look, an' I said quickly, "Somewhere totally safe an' secure, I'm sure, but I'm just curious."

"Apollo is watching her while I grab a drink. I don't think even he can do anything disasterous in a few seconds. After all, he does have a little experience with Ace, and..."

"You take that back!" It was Bliss, but I'm tellin ya, tha kid got bass in his voice!

There was a flutter, more of a clashin of wings, then a thud, an' a yell. "Ow! Hey!"

"You take it back, you snot!"

I could see Bliss ovah tha head of the now millin crowd, so that meant that someone was wearin him around their shouldahs. An' whoevah it was was receivin a pretty fair beatin about tha ears, lemme tell ya. Bliss had his lil hands doubled up inta fists an' was whalin away, pausin only ta grab hair an' pull.

Hm--blonde hair. I knew it wasn't 'Dite--Bliss is too much of a gentleman ta get that physical with a woman. Then I heard someone yell, "Dude! Not the hair, not the hair!" That clinched it--Apollo.

"What tha Tartarus has Shinypants done now?" Imp's voice was risin ovah tha general hub-bub. "Bah mahn! Baaaa! Hurma feen!" She howled, an' me an' Cupe took off, knockin gods an' goddesses outta tha way.

We reached tha bench where Ma had left Apollo babysittin Imp. There was a small space cleared around it, cause no one was willin ta get too close, what with tha way Apollo was staggerin around, an' Bliss was kickin an' swingin wings and fists.

Imp had crawled undah tha bench, an' was cryin her pretty green eyes out. I swooped ovah an' grabbed her up, huggin an' pattin her. "What is it, baby? What's wrong?" Cupid was tryin ta calm Bliss down. Bliss was currently usin language he coulda only picked up when Unc took him ta visit wunna tha war camps an' let him hang around with tha soldiers, unsupervised. Imp threw her arms around my neck an repeated herself. "Bah mahn, hurma feen!"

"What?" I whirled. "Cupe! Bliss! Hold 'im!" Cupid gave me an astonished look, but Bliss (tha kid is gonna be a champion at team work) grabbed 'pol's hair so hard that Sunboy froze. That gave me tha perfect target, an' I bipped him right on tha chin. He dropped, but Bliss flapped hard an' hovahed, insteada followin him down. Then he landed on 'pol's stomach. It woulda been his crotch, if he hadn'ta moved fast. I love that kid.

Cupid was staring. "Strife, why did you do that?"

"Dintya hear her? She said tha bad man hurt her feelins." Cupid goggled at me. I shrugged. "Bliss has been givin me lessons."

Bliss landed nexta me, reachin up ta pet Imp's wings, smoothin down her ruffled feathahs. "He talked mean to her, and he talked mean about Daddy Strife."

Cupid's eyes narrowed, goin as green as our daughtah's. "He did, did he?"

Apollo had sat up, an' now he scooted back. "Did not! I mean, Cerberus, I didn't really say anything!" Bliss shook a fist at him. "Gah, your whole family is so touchy!"

He turned pale when Ma pushed up beside me. "We'll see what we touch. What did you say that got my grandbabies so upset?"

It got real quiet. Apollo looked up an' suddenly realized that tha entire Pantheon, plus, was gathered around, watchin him expectantly. "Nuh-nothing much."

"He said Imp and Daddy Strife was stupid!" Bliss accused.

There was a collective gasp. "I did not!" Apollo protested. "It... it was taken out of context. Totally harmless." There was a singular lack of unforgivness bein expressed by everyone. "Look, he's just a kid, how is he going to understand the subtle nuances of adult speech?" "Hermes?" Cupid called. There was a brief flash, and Hermes appeared before Cupid. "You're recording this for posterity, right?"

Hermes nodded. "And I just so happened to be recording Impetua when this mess got started."

"Oh, just so happened, huh?" growled Apollo.

Hermes shrugged. "I follow all the kids. You'd know that if you ever bothered to look at the family scrying mirrors for anything but the orgies or your own performances." Hermes materialized a small mirror. "This is the one I was using here."

Hera stepped forward, holding out her hand, and Hermes handed it ovah. It wasn't like he was about ta refuse her. Apollo swallowed hard. "Uh, I think I'll just flash on over to Ace's place and see if he has something for a headache..." He winced. Ares had grabbed one arm, an' a really grim lookin Hephastus had grabbed the othah. Dite was currently tryin ta cajole Imp inta a better mood, her pretty face screwed up in concern fah her littlest grandchild. Heph wasn't pleased with anythin that upset Dite.

Hera passed a hand ovah tha mirror and stared at it while whatevah it had recorded played out. She glared at Apollo, who seemed ta shrink a little. Then she looked at Cupid, an' me an' Ma, then tha whole crowd. "No direct physical action--is that clear?" There were mutterings, an' she raised her voice sharply. "I'm serious about this! It needs to be dealt with, but I don't want any of our resident hot-heads flying off the handle and doing something that might be regretted later by a lot of us. Am I clear?" There were muttered, reluctant agreements, then she handed tha mirror ovah ta Cupid. He held it so I could see it, with Ma leanin in close fah a peek.

Tha mirror shimmered, resettin itself, then tha scene started playin out. Ma was just settin Imp down on tha floor. Imp fussed, an' Ma pulled off wunna her leathah gauntlets an' passed it down ta Imp, who promptly started tryin ta punch holes in it with her new teeth. "'pol, I'm dryer than a historian's lecture. Watch Imp and I'll go grab us both some wine."

"Sure, 'Ris, just don't be too long, 'kay? Cherub wrangling is so not my style."

Ma moved outta tha picture. Imp started seein what kinda slappin noises she could make on tha marble floor with tha gauntlet. Apollo laughed. "Trying to get some rhythm going, kid? Maybe if you show a little talent, I'll let your daddies send you to me for drum lessons." Imp smacked, with more erratic enthusiasm than anythin else. Apollo made a face. "Ew. Your rhythm is as bad as your dads' must be." He gave a not nice at all snicker. "Guess that's how they got you, huh? Can't imagine ol' Strife would want to get knocked up so soon. Even he couldn't be stupid enough want to risk losing Cupid's interest when he got whale sized."

I gaped. Okay, it's not like I wouldn'ta expected somethin like that from him, but it still stung, because I had suffahed from a few of those doubts along tha way. Still, bad as this was, I didn't see how it woulda upset Imp so much (though I could feel Cupid starting ta sorta vibrate nexta me). She didn't really seemed clued in.

Then 'pol said, "Eh, why am I even thinking about it? You're going to be another empty headed ditz, like most of the members of the House of Love" He snickered again. "Good thing you're cute, kid, because you sure aren't going to make it on your brains."

That was when tha Imp-in-tha-glass started howlin, an' a blur of white feathahs, blonde curls, an' flyin feet an' fists clobbered Apollo. Tha mirror went blank.

Cupid silently plucked Imp from my arms and handed her ovah ta Hestia, who was looking as grim as it's possible for her to look. "Bliss, you and Imp go with Auntie Hestia. Hess--somewhere soundproof, okay?"

"Cupid!" Hera snapped.

"Okay, but they still need to leave the room. ALL the little ones need to leave, I think. This isn't anything they need to deal with right now." Bliss didn't like it, but he was still bein Big Brother, an' he wanted ta be wherever Imp was, so he went.

When they were gone, Unc said quietly, "Well, 'pol, for someone who's supposed to be one of the more intelligent members of the Pantheon, that was a particularly boneheaded stunt."

"I was drunk?" He had enough sense ta look sheepish, an' not put too much conviction in tha poor-ass excuse.

"That is pitiful," said Zeus coldly. "Even I quit trying to use that one decades ago."

Apollo gave Zeus an ingratiatin grin, an' I thought, *Oh, no! Everyone knows he's wunna ol' Thunderbritches' favorites. If Zeus sets up tha punishment...*

But Zeus was shakin his head. "I hereby disqualify myself as judge in this instance. Hera?"

Hera had her arms crossed, and was drummin perfectly manicured fingahtips on her elbows. "I think it would be appropriate for everyone who feels personally offended by this to take a hand in the punishment phase."

"Oh, man!" Apollo moaned. "Mom, please. There won't be anything left of me when the House of War gets through with me."

Dite had her eyes narrowed. "Maybe you ought to be worrying about the 'ditzes', 'pol."

"Rules," said Hera calmly. "Nothing permanent. No direct physical action. No mutilation. I know you are all mad, but let's keep this in perspective people. And Cupid--Strife... I'm disqualifying you two." I started ta protest. "No, I'm firm on this. You two are too closely involved in this. You aren't thinking clearly right now, and I won't have you doing anything now that you might find excessive later." She looked around the collection of grim faces. "Believe me--I think you'll be satisfied with the results."

Apollo sighed. "Okay, I guess I have to suck it up. What's your punishment, Mom?"

Hera smiled. "I've already done my bit, dear. I'll just sit back and supervise."

"Me first!" said Dite. She stepped forward, "For the next century..."

"Dite!" said Hera.

She scowled. "Well, it isn't permanent.." Hera looked stern. "For the next decade..."

"Dite."

Dite stamped her foot. "Pooh! I suppose a year is out of the question?" Hera nodded. "Fine! Great! Okay, one month." She pointed at Apollo. "But for the next month, not even your hand is going to love you, if you know what I mean!"

Apollo groaned, casting an apologetic look at the Muses. Calliope drew herself up, glancing at her sisters, all of whom nodded. "You don't have to bother to extend that to us, Dite. He's not getting so much as a tickle from us for a long, long time. And you can write your own poetry and dirty stories for awhile. C'mon, girls. Let's go see about putting locks on our doors." They swirled out.

Eris stepped forward, and Apollo cringed. "Mom said no physical action!"

"Quit peeing your toga," Eris snarled. "Sure, I major in death, mutilation, and maiming, but I don't have to be that direct." She slid me a look. "I produced Mischief, didn't I?" She grinned at me, and I found myself grinnin back. "I've been paying attention, son, and I'm sure that if I run out of ideas, you'll be willing to help out with suggestions."

"Oh, yah!"

"One month, like Dite."

The others stepped up. Poseidon, goaded by his current sweety in tha name of his littlest, promised Apollo that any shellfish or seafood he tried for was gonna give him the whoopsies and tha trots. Artemis promised him that tha same would happen ta any game he tried ta eat. Demeter promissed him that any fruit or vegetable he came up with was gonna be old and stringy, green, hard, and sour, or fulla bugs or worms. I was gigglin by now.

Persephony was whispering fiercely Hades, an' I was kinda curious about what they'd come up with. Hades tended ta stay out of such things, since he was tha final judge of souls at tha end of life. But Pep could talk him inta just about anythin, an' he was shruggin. He looked down at tha ground, concentratin.

A cold breeze moved through tha crowd, an' I shivahed, feelin like someone had trailed damp fingahs across tha back of my neck. There was an unearthly moan, followed by a barely heard wail, then a rattle an' chink. I know chains when I hear 'em. Apollo jumped, grabbin at tha back of his neck. "What was that?"

"One of your resident lost souls," said Hades. "I have quite a few at loose ends. They'll be haunting you and your temple for the next month."

"Oh, crap," Apollo moaned. He sat back on tha bench, then suddenly jumped up with a yell. "What squished?"

I looked, wrinklin my nose. "A particulahly fragrant diapah." I looked around, puzzled. "But tha changin bench is ovah there. How did it get...?" Ma grinned at me. I giggled. "Ooh, Hermes? I'm gonna want a detailed account of what 'pol goes through. This," I chuckled, "is gonna be classic."

An it was, it was. *snicker* By tha end of tha month 'pol had lost about ten pounds from tha sparce diet. He was pretty much livin offa sandy greens an' beans, an' he was kinda hard ta be around, if ya know what I mean.

He had circles undah his eyes, 'cause tha spirits didn't give him more'n an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep each night. His tan was turnin kinda yellah, 'cause he didn't dare sunbathe. Pigeons had a tendency ta divebomb, an' ants flocked ta him if he laid down anywhere but in his own bed. When he did that he was likely ta find mouse droppins or sand or any othah hundreds of different lil surprises Ma left fah him. He got real careful about lookin before he used tha chambah pot aftah tha gerbil incident.

Poseidon had monkeyed with tha watah supply ta 'pol's temple, an' 'pol's shiny blonde locks got kinda dingy. *snicker* In fact, it took on almost as much of a green tint as Imp's hair.

He was so miserable lookin that before tha month was out I had pretty much worked through my issues with him. Even Cupe didn't scowl when he saw 'pol anymore, but Bliss wasn't tha forgivin sort, not in this case, an' ya really don't want tha God of Joy an' Happiness pissed with ya.

Tha month ended, tha various curses were lifted, an' 'pol started ta get back ta normal a little. I think tha Muses even started givin him nookie again, since they'd been kinda grumpy fah awhile, an' they mellowed out a little, too. But Apollo hadn't gotten back ta his usual carefree, easy way. He always had a distracted look in his eyes.

We were spendin a quiet day at home about two weeks aftah 'pol's 'sentence' had ended. Dite an Ma were there, makin plans fah Imp's upcomin first birthday. Cupid an' me were tryin ta get Imp ta walk on her own. Oh, she was doin real good as long as she held onta someone or somethin, but if we tried ta get her to walk even a couple of steps alone she'd just drop on her butt, then crawl.

I stood Imp up, holdin her hands, an' she stood nice an' sturdy. "G'wan an' walk ta Daddy," I told her. Cupid crouched a coupla feet away, holdin out his hands. I let go. Imp grinned, plopped down on her butt, an' crawled quickly ta him, crawlin inta his lap.

"Shoot." He stood her up, pointin her at me. "Walk to Papa." He let go. *plop* *crawl*

I sighed. "Maybe she's gonna be tha first quadrupedal goddess?"

Dite crouched, holding out her hands. "Walk to Dite, honey." Imp blew a spit bubble. "I'll let you play with my make-up next time you come over."

"She'll end up looking like a bacchae," grumbled Ma. "Come to me, sweetie, and I'll get you your very own little breastplate." Imp looked interested, but just kicked.

"It's no use." Bliss shook his head. "She won't even walk to me when I offer her some of Daddy Strife's Twinkies."

"So that's where my stash is goin! Bliss, ya shouldn't do that. She's startin ta get more energy from tha mortals' jealousy, an' we don't need a sugah rush on toppa that."

*Flash*

Apollo appeared. We were all quiet. "Uh, hi." More silence.

Finally Cupid did tha host thing, noddin at him. "Pol. You're looking better."

"Uh, yeah. I talked Hecate into doing up a rinse that took the rest of the green out of my hair." Silence. He sighed.

"Why are ya here?" I asked bluntly. Everyone looked at me, an' I shrugged. "Oh, come on. It ain't like he was always droppin by ta borrow a cuppa sugah or shoot tha shit before that fiasco. Why should he be different now?"

Apollo took a deep breath. "Look, this isn't going to be easy. I don't really have much hope of any of you believing me, but I have to do it. I had a lot of time to think during the last month. A lot of time. Being miserable distracts you at first, but then it helps you get real focussed. At least it did me. I spent the first week or so bitching and whining about how unfair it was. Then one day I looked at the scrying mirror of what happened, and actually listened to what I said."

He winced. "I cannot believe I said that! So that's why I'm here. I came to apologize. Cupid, Bliss, Dite--I am so sorry about the cracks I made about the House of Love." He looked at me. "Strife, I'm abject about what I said about you. Maybe you're not an intellectual, but I know damn good and well that you're nowhere near dumb. And frankly, you looked good when you were preggers." His voice lowered, "Don't tell the Muses this, but you looked a lot better knocked-up than any of them do when they are." I could feel tha resentment meltin a little.

Finally he went ovah an' squatted down in fronta Imp. "And little Miss Impetua." She looked up at him solemnly. "Baby girl, I am so sorry. I'm such a fool. I didn't really mean any of those things I said. Sometimes I get to listening to the sound of my own voice and say something before I realize that I'm doing it. You're smart, and pretty, and talented." He leaned a little closer and said quietly, "And your daddies wanted you, little one. They wanted you with everything they had--and I don't blame them, cause you're one happenin' little female, and you're going to be a Tartarus of a beautiful, smart, sexy big girl some day. I'm so sorry, and I hope maybe you won't hate me too much."

He materialized a sunflower, an' offered it ta her. Imp took it, studyin it. I expect her ta try ta eat it, but Dite musta been havin a bigger influence than I expected. She poked it inta her hair, tryin ta tuck it behind her ear. It sorta dangled there, but it didn't fall out.

Then Imp grunted an' wobbled upright, standin on wide spread, chubby legs. We all got real quiet, an' still. I know that it was a good thing I didn't really need ta breathe, 'cause I think I fahgot how fah awhile.

Imp wavered, then tottered forward a step. Then anothah. Then anothah. Then she lunged an' threw her chubby arms around Apollo's neck, crowin with joy an' triumph as he caught her. Apollo looked stunned as he held Imp against his chest. One big hand came up an' gently stroked her hair, then her wings. His eyes were suspiciously wet.

Bliss was clappin his hands, bouncin up an' down. Dite was boohooin inta a pink (naturally) hankie, an' Ma was scowlin so hard that it had ta be 'cause she was fightin down tha same reaction. Cupid had his hand ovah his mouth, hidin a smile, an' I know that I was grinnin like a fool.

"Well," I said, "I guess it's oh-ficial. Apology accepted." Apollo smiled. "So, I guess that means I should go take tha laxitive outta yer nags' feedbags."

*pitpatpitpatpitpat*

I was layin on my belly, one arm hangin off tha bed, tha othah across the warm, risin an fallin plain of Cupe's chest. I tilted my chin an' slitted one eye open. This gave me a good view of tha door ta Impetua's bedroom. As I expected, I caught a glimpse of gold curls an' white feathahs as Bliss tiptoed inta his sistah's room. I studied tha faint slant of sunlight on tha wall. Crap, couldn'ta been more'n a half hour past dawn.

Tahday was Impetua's very first natal day. She was too little tah know what was goin on, of course, but fah tha past week, Bliss had been more'n excited enough fah both of 'em. He'd been told ta wait till a decent houah ta get up, but... Well, just goes ta show ya that 'decent' is a relative term. Eh, I couldn't blame 'im, really. I was pretty fuckin excited myself. I expect I'da been up even earliah than him if it wasn't fah tha fact that his daddy had fucked me senseless last night, bless his heart.

I rolled my head tha othah way, studyin Cupe. Damn, he's sexy when he sleeps. An' when he fucks, an when he eats, an when he's thinkin, an when he pouts, an when... Ya get tha idea. I pulled my hand up onta his chest an rubbed a little circle. He purred in his sleep, but he didn't open his eyes. I grinned, an' pinched one soft, brown nipple. Those hazel eye flew open with a gasp, an' I put a finger ta my lips. "Shhhh."

He whispahed. "Not that I don't love it when you wake me up sexy, but..."

I pinched again, but gave 'im a little rub, too. "I said 'sh'." I tipped my head toward Impetua's bedroom, liftin my eyebrows. He listened.

We could hear Bliss whisperin. Yah, I know, but tha kid can whispah louder'n some people can talk. "Imp? Imp, you awake?" *pause* Ya know, I think that if pokin or shakin someone made a noise that I'da heard it right about then. "Iiiiimp?"

"Uh? Aye Biss."

"G'morning, Impy. Happy first natal day! I'm the very first one to wish you happy natal day! You wanna get up?"

*yawn* "Uh huh. Up!"

"Okay, stand up, an' hold up your arms." *grunt* *scuff* (I think that was Bliss, staggerin a little) "Wow, Imp, you're getting big!"

"Ah!"

"Not fat!" Bliss said hastily, "Just big! You're a big, grown up girl now."

*coo*

I whispahed to Cupe. "Can't tell that kid is part Dite's, huh?"

Cupe whispered back, "Yeah, he covers real good."

"Okay, we're not awake, 'kay?"

"You betcha." We both closed our eyes an' played dead.

"Sh, be quiet now, and we'll sneak up on the daddies, huh?"

*giggle* "Ump! Ump!"

"Yeah, you can jump on 'em, but remember, be careful where you put your feet an' knees, cause guys got dangly bits, an' it hurts when you thump them."

*I love that kid,* I thought. Despite what some people think, I can do a pretty damn good pokah face when I wanna, so I did. It wasn't easy. I could hear the *pitpitpitpit* *pause* *pat-pat-pat-pat* of Imp followin Bliss toward tha bed, with Bliss whisperin an' encouragin her all the way. While they came ovah I nudged Cupe till he moved ovah a coupla inches. Then I quickly slid ovah toward tha middle of tha bed, too, cause I knew what was comin.

They reached tha bed. There was a coupla minutes while Imp struggled up onta tha mattress. When Bliss got undah her, braced his back against her butt, an' heaved up, he managed ta give her enough lift fah her ta scramble onta tha mattress. Then he held onta her while she staggered up onta her feet. This was tha part that always worried me, but I was careful ta keep one eye cracked. Tha first sign of wobblin in tha wrong direction, an' I'd snatch her.

I didn't hafta worry about that t'day. Imp took a deep breath, then squealed an' lunged. She managed ta fall across both of us, laughin fit ta bust. It was worth tha lost breath.

Cupid an' I both yelled, actin like she'd surprised tha crap outta us. "I was yellin, "Harpies! How did harpies get in? Help, save me!"

About then Bliss pounced inta tha middle of things, doin his deepest voice (he managed alto instead of treble), "I'll save you, Daddy Strife!"

We wrestled. Feathahs flew, white an' silver-gray. Finally we all ended up in a big, warm pile in tha middle of tha bed, pantin an' gigglin. I dug Imp out from undah Bliss, smoothed her browny-green curls an' feathahs, then kissed her on tha nose. "G'mornin, Imp. Happy first birthday, my big girl."

Get this--she raised an eyebrow at me. "Dah?"

"Big girl, not fat girl--just like Bliss said."

She kissed me on tha chin. "Yah."

Cupid held out his arms. "My turn."

I handed Imp ovah for a snuggle, while I pulled Bliss inta my lap. He hugged my neck, then whispahed, "You sure are good at playing possum, Daddy Strife. Imp liked it a lot."

"Huh. I guess there's not a lot we can put ovah on you, huh, kid? Leave me a few cherished illusions, though."

Tha party was scheduled fah tha aftahnoon. We tried ta spend a relaxin mornin, but... well... If ya have kids, ya know how it is. Imp was too young ta really know what a birthday was, but Bliss wasn't, an' Bliss was almost wet- yer-toga excited, so of course Imp caught on to it, an' she got antsy.

Bliss wanted ta skip breakfast so he'd have plenty of room fah tha birthday feast. Since big brothah didn't wanta eat, Imp didn't wanta eat. I got them both ta feed their faces by tellin Bliss that he hadda set a good example, since he was tha big brothah. He caved, an' even pretended like he was about ta starve ta death so that Imp would eat a good meal. I wondah how long that 'you gotta set a good example' is gonna work before he starts gettin pisses off about it. I've used that ploy fah years now. It works almost as good as 'why can't you be more like your big brother?' does fah tha babies of the family.

Then everyone took a bath. Imp an' Bliss took tha shell tub, an' I used some of that pink bath bubbles that Dite had started makin fah Imp as soon as she could sit up enough ta use tha tub. Cupe an' me took tha sunken bath, but there wasn't any fun futtzin around, cause we hadda keep an eye on tha kiddos. Yah, Bliss was doin a good job with Imp, but he was still just shy of seven. Even level headed lil dudes can be ovahwhelmed by responsibility, an' we weren't gonna let takin care of Imp become a chore instead of a joy.

Next on tha agenda was special appearances at a coupla Cupid's temples. I have so few that it wasn't really a hardship ta make an appearance in each one of 'em, and I gotta tell ya, I was touched. Sure, at Cupe's temples there were throngs of worshipahs, heaps of offerins an' gifts, masses of decorations (first time I'd evah seen more green than pink in a Temple of Love), but...

I don't have all that many followahs compaired ta most of tha othahs, all right? I've learned ta deal with that. I still do bettah than some of tha really minor ones, like Aether an' Humorous. An' yeah, mosta my worshipahs tend ta be on tha youngish side. They pretty much fall away ta othahs by tha time they're in their mid-teens, an' decide what they wanna do with their life.

But there were at least a few worshipahs at every one of my temples. What really got me is that we decided ta visit a few of tha altars that Unc has set up fah me inside his temples, an' there were even some of 'em there. Ya got any idea how much guts an' determination it takes fah twelve year old girls ta go inta Ares' Temple ta honor their chosen goddess?

There was a little group of 'em in Unc's temple in Athens, huddled tagetha in fronta my altar. Twelve year old girls are pretty much tha same everywhere I guess, cause as intimidated as they were, they were still managin ta giggle.

Tha spokesgirl was a skinny lil thing, all eyes an' hair. She had their offerin--an armload of wildflowahs, an' a pretty seashell, "Cause it's browny-green, like her hair," she said shyly, offerin it up. She almost plotzed when I leaned down an' let Imp take it from her. Imp promptly began ta chew on it, smilin at tha kid. Then she pointed at tha girl an' said, "Snug, Da. Snug." I grinned, leaned ovah again, an' Imp gave tha girl a big hug around tha neck, an' a only slightly slobbery kiss on tha cheek. Imp immediately started crowin an' kickin', an' I could tell by tha looks on tha othah girls' faces that she'd just got a nice energy boost.

Finally it was time fah Imp's party. Me an' Cupe had discussed it a lot, an' we were havin it in the Elyssian Fields. Yah, yah, I can hear ya now--havin yer kid's natal day party in tha Underworld? Hear me out.

It was spring, so Persephoney was topside, an' Unca Hades gets really bummed when she isn't around. I keep hopin that they'll have kids so he'll have somethin else in his life, but that would present it's own problems, ya know? Tha kids would need ta stay with their mom when they were little, an' then Hades would have even more ta miss during spring an' summah. An' I'm pretty sure that Demeter would try ta pull some sorta crap ta keep tha babies away from him even more, an'... Complicated, ya know?

Unc Hades doesn't get that many visitahs ta start with, an' no one evah thinks ta bring kids down. An' Hades loves kids, nevah let anyone tell ya different, even if he is a sorta gloomy cuss mosta tha time. I mean hell, look at tha Elyssian Fields. That's where all tha kids go, an' he's made it perfect fah them, with meadows, an' flowahs, an' creeks an' ponds fah swimmin an' fishin, an' lotsa animals ta play with, an'... Tartarus, come ta think of it, it wouldn't be a bad vacation spot. Ya wouldn't hafta worry much about unwanted relations an' friends droppin in.

Anyways, tha party would be great fah tha kids who lived in Elyssia, an' it would give Bliss an' Imp lots more kids ta play with (not too many child godlings around these days). We got special permission ta zap right in, so that Imp didn't hafta deal with passin through tha admittedly freaky areas ya hafta traverse ta reach it.

Dite, Mom, an' (don't faint, now), Jayce had gotten tagetha on tha decorations an' entertainment. It was in tha prettiest meadow there. There were candy-colahed canopies here an' there fah anyone who wanted ta lounge out of tha sun. There was a fountain that spouted pink punch fah tha kiddies, an' one that spouted somethin a little strongah fah tha adults. Not much strongah, though. I'd put my foot down with Dionysius about that, so tha wine was watahed. He'd almost cried ovah that, but I didn't want my baby's first party ta end up as a drunken orgy. There'd be plenty of times fah those latah in tha century.

There was a big table, runnin from one side of tha meadow to tha othah, an' it was groanin undah plattahs an' bowls of every type of food ya could imagine. I'd even made a few trips through tha Halls of Time ta bring back some delicacies from tha future. Tha crisp thingies covhaed in melted cheese an' peppahs were real populah. So were tha teeny, weeny bright colahed buttons that were filled with that terrific stuff Dite intraduced me to when I was pregs--chocolate. I think they must be real expensive, cause each an' every one of them was marked with M&M. Damn, two thousand apiece? Hey, nothin is too good fah my princess.

The showpiece was tha cake that Hestia had just about busted a gut ovah. Tha sucker was as tall as Bliss was. I know, cause I caught him standin on tha table, measurin. Damn, I love that kid. It was so heavy that they'd set it up on a marble slab, aftah tha table started makin ominous groanin noises. Hestia had coated tha whole thing in sugary almond paste, an' it was covered in real flowahs an' sugah figuahs of things like stars.

Since Imp couldn't very well cut tha thing (I keep all my knives well outta her reach), Cupe held her up an' let her dig a double handful outta tha top layer. There were a few groans on that, but what tha Tartarus did they expect from my kid? At least she didn't fling it at anyone. Well, not that handful, anyway. She waited till she had a platefull, complete with whipped cream. *snicker* Hera hadda change her toga three times.

I nearly fainted at how decent Zeus was actin. He didn't try ta hog tha spotlight, he didn't try ta make any speeches. Well, he did sorta try ta grab a little attention by doin tha flashiest bit fah tha party. He actually brought Pegasus an' let tha kiddies have 'pony rides'. Oh, man! Imp was so excited that... Let's just say that she ain't quite past tha diapah stage yet, an' Pegasus is a real patient animal with little kids.

Everyone had a great time. I noticed Jayce flirtin with Aether. Yeah, I think those two might have a lot in common. Wouldn't be surprised if Jayce came ta visit Joxer fah awhile an' sorta hung out, ready fah visitors. I know that's what happened when Jett an' Phonos were courtin. Somehow, though, I think tha stress level at Unc's place will be lower this time. Ya just gotta kinda worry about what courtin involves with tha God of Murder an' tha King of Assassins. Joxer said that Jett sent word that his gift ta Imp was one free assassination of her choice whenever she was of age ta make such decisions. *sniff* Family can be so good sometimes.

Tha party was windin down some (read--tha kids had pretty much exhausted themselves an' tha adults, an' weren't quite to tha whiney stage yet), when Joxer an' Unc came ovah ta were our little family had half collapsed. Bliss was snorin with his head in Cupe's lap (I don't think he got much sleep tha night before).

Joxer was carryin' a bundle of blankets. It was squirmin. I woulda thought it was Accord except fah two things--it was too small, an' Unc had Accord ridin on his hip. Joxer said, "It's time to give Imp our present."

I raised an eyebrow. "That looks live, Jox."

"Um, yes. We've discussed this with Cupid."

"Oh, yes?" I looked at my husband, who was grinnin at me. "And you kept me out of this why?"

"Because I was pretty sure you'd be tickled by the idea anyway. Just wait."

Joxer squatted down in fronta me. Imp was watchin him closely. Joxer is one of Imp's favorite people. Not surprisin--he's terrific with kids. Imp held out her hand to him. "Ganpa Oxy!"

"Hello, Sweetpea. Me and Grandpa Reese have a special present for you. Do you want to see it?"

She looked at him. "Duh!" Everybody around busted out laughin. Dite hadda lean on Heph. Joxer smiled. "Oh, and whose little girl are you, I don't wonder." He gently placed the blanket on the ground in fronta us.

I set Imp on her feet, an' she toddled ovah to it. She was reachin for it when it twitched. She jerked her head back, wide-eyed, then reached fah it again. Twitch. Jerk. She frowned, an' reached again. A white, furry head popped outta tha folds. *Meow!*

Imp gasped an' flopped on her bottom, while everyone roared. Tha white kitten struggled outta tha blanket. I was about ta tell someone ta catch it, so it wouldn't run away, but I didn't need ta. It minced ovah ta Imp an' put its front feet on her leg, starin up inta her face. It was a pretty little thing--slick furred, snowy white, except fah an oval shaped black patch that started between its ears an' ran between its eyes, almost ta its pink nose. An' its eyes... I could see immediately why Joxer woulda thought of givin it ta Imp. They had tha same eyes--bright green, an' a little slanted. Imp stared at tha kitten. Tha kitten stared at Imp. Then it butted its head up undah her chin, purrin, an' she giggled.

"A cat." I started gigglin.

Cupid grinned. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd have a problem with it. After all, they're some of the greatest mischief makers in the animal kingdom.

"Yah, yer right there. So, what is it, a queen or a tom?"

Cupid, who can be pretty damn direct about anythin havin ta do with anatomy, picked the kitten up an' looked undah its tail. It squawked, scramblin around, an' he put it down before it could get its teeny lil fish hook claws inta him. It ran behind Imp an' hid between her wings, hissin an' cussin in kitty language. "It's a girl," Cupid announced.

"Mine!" Imp reached back, grabbed tha cat by tha scruff of tha neck, an' dragged her inta a hug. Luckily fah tha cat it didn't raise a claw or a fang. It was pretty obvious that they were gonna be soulmates. It gazed up at Imp adorinly an' made chirpy noises.

"Yah, that's right, kiddo--your kitty. What ya gonna name her?"

Imp looked down at the cat. Tha cat looked up at her. "Priss."

Tha cat blinked. *pppprrriss?*

Imp nodded. "Priss."

*purrrrrrrr*

Zeus was watching this, shaking his head. "Well, I'm afraid that my gift is going to be quite a come-down after that." He shifted, an' I'll be damned but tha old coot looked embarrassed. "Look, I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I didn't have a lot of choices in this matter, and frankly, a cat never occurred to me. But I had to come up with a symbol for Impetua's godhood."

Cupid an' me exchanged looks. "What is it?" Cupe asked.

Zeus sighed, an' held out his hand. A shiny green circlet, about tha size of a bangle bracelet appeared on his palm. We leaned closer an' looked.

It moved. It wiggled, an' a little red ribbon flickered out of one end.

Cupid jumped up, yellin, "Snake!"

Have I mentioned that he has this thing about snakes? Bliss was hangin onta his leg, cryin cause he was scared an' confused, an' tha rest of tha Pantheon wasn't much bettah. Tha only ones who didn't look tha least bit freaked were the Asphodel natives. Hecate was cooin ovah it.

Cupid's voice was high-pitched. "Strife! Quick, get Imp away from that thing."

"Chill, Cupe. It's harmless."

"What do you mean, it's harmless? It's a snake!

"Yah, I noticed. Specifically, it's a grass snake." I pointed. "Look, Imp, isn't it pretty? See how it's emerald on tha back, an' sorta pastel on tha belly? An' look at those teensy, tiny eyes! Look like lil jet beads, don't they?"

"Strife, snakes are not cute!" Cupe almost wailed.

"Depends on who ya talk to, Cupe. If ya don't give her a complex about it, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Anyway," said Zeus. "It's not exactly a real snake. It's the embodyment of her godhood--jealousy and envy. Though it seems to be a very nice little snake, for all that. Watch."

Tha snake started ta coil itself up. It did two loops, then stiffened. Zeus offahed it ta me. I took it an' examined it, then offahed it to Cupid. "You have to be kidding!"

"Nah, look, Cupe. It's great."

He looked. It was now made of tiny, thin flakes of jade an' alabaster, an' tha eyes were jet beads. "Oh. Oh, wow. Not my taste in jewelry, but nice."

Zeus took it, and slipped it up on Imp's right arm. It tightend just a little, an' stayed there--a very nice armband. "When it gets bigger, it can be a necklace." He shrugged. "Depending on how big it gets, she might even get a belt out of it. It will remain in this form till she's more matured, then we'll teach her how to command it, and let it transform from animate to inanimate. In the meantime, any peril to Imp will activate it, and it will immediately go to the first responsible divinity for help." He raised his voice. "So, listen up, people. If this thing shows up suddenly, and Imp isn't with it, sound the alarm."

"I'm still not sure about this," Cupid said warily.

"Ya got years ta get used ta tha idea," I assured him. Priss was pawin at tha snake. Bliss had calmed down an' come ovah fah a look. I think he was a little envious, cause Imp was gigglin an awful lot. "It's gonna need a name, too. Cupe?"

He raised his hands, palms out. "Don't ask me. I don't have the first clue about how to tell the sex of a snake. Even if I could, I'm not about to look close enough to do it."

I looked at Imp. "Imp? Whatcha gonna call it?"

She ran a fingah ovah tha scales. "Hiss."

Priss batted at tha snake. *sssssss* "Not you, furball," I told her. I grinned. Imp chortled. A lot of tha Pantheon looked nervous. "Priss, Hiss, an' Imp. Olympus has a new triumverate. Fear them." I hugged my baby girl. "Ooo, life is definitely gonna be interestin."

The End