Wrong Place, Wrong Time

by Annie B.

Spoilers: up to 4th Season

Fandom: Hercules/Xfiles

Rating: PG

Summary: Joxer sails on the maiden voyage of Titanicus and ends up an Bermuda Triangle

Note: There is no foul language and no sexual content so everyone can enjoy this one! But be warned! Joxer does get hurt... and so does

Autolycus... But I think you all will enjoy it anyway... so... enough with the chatter!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

by Annie B.

The deck beneath his feet was bucking and rolling worse than an untamed horse. Joxer felt the contents of his stomach start to work its way back where it came from and lost his struggle to keep it down. Leaning over the railing, his stomach heaving, he threw up the ship rations that he had last evening.

"Ho there! Look alive men! We've been through worse then this! Barnes, Pete -- tighten that mainsail! Scott, Willie -- batten those hatches! You there! Jogger, Josser...", the captain of the vessel snapped his fingers, trying in vain to remember the name of the young man who came aboard during their stay at Greece. Giving up in frustration he bellowed over the howl of the wind, "Get your arse below decks if you're unable to help!"

Listening to the captain yell further orders to his crew, Joxer stumbled down the stairs and tried to lay down on his bunk. The ship pitched high and threw him to the floor. Groaning he got to his knees and struggled back onto his bunk. Closing his eyes, Joxer thought about the day he boarded and wished he was anywhere else.

It was a beautiful fall day, and Joxer was eating breakfast with his friends, Xena and Gabrielle. He was wearing a loose top and simple leggings. His armor was in the supply pack that was between his feet.

"So, how long do you think you'll be gone?" asked Gabrielle, between mouthfuls of food.

Joxer looked up from the fruit plate he ordered and answered, "Oh, probably about 4 months or so. That's what the captain told me anyway. I was really lucky to get on, you know. Not everyone has the opportunity to sail on the maiden voyage of the Titanicus."

"What will you be doing?" asked Xena, using a cloth to polish her chakram.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Washing the decks, polishing the rails, helping prepare the food..." he replied, averting his eyes.

"So you'll be peeling potatoes, huh? Sounds like fun." snickered Gabrielle. "Well, at least they're paying you. Do you know how much you'll be getting for this?" she asked.

"Well, we didn't exactly get to that yet. But I'm sure they'll pay well. After all they're selling the tickets for a couple hundred dinars! You'd have to be pretty rich to get on this ship. I hear the Queen of Egypt will be on board! You remember her? Cleopatra? And there will be others as well! Wow! This is going to be a great trip!" Joxer rambled on about some of the other well-known passengers until it was finally time for him to board the great ship.

"Wow! Look at the time. I'll have to hurry if I want to make it on board in time! Catch ya later guys!"

Gabrielle and Xena both wished him well and they the three friends parted.

"Joxer the sailor! Master of the seven seas! Never feeling sick at sea! And I don't have knobby knees! Hee hee! I'm Joxer! I'm Joxer the Mighty!" Walking toward the huge ship, he continued to hum his tune until the captain yelled at him.

"You there! If you want to be part of this crew, you'll have to hurry! We're leaving port as of now!"

Joxer stopped humming and started to run towards the gangplank as fast as he could. Reaching it and running up it to the ship, he realized that he left his supply pack at the table with Gabrielle and Xena. Turning around he saw Xena holding his sack.

"Xena! Up here! Throw it to me!" Joxer yelled and ducked as the pack went sailing over his head to land on the ship's deck.

"Good luck Joxer!" Xena grinned and waved. Gabrielle smiled and waved at him as well and then the ship was under way and Joxer lost them in the crowd that had gathered.

"Good-bye! I'll see you soon!" he yelled and waved his arms to his friends.

Turning and grabbing his pack, he ran into the rather large belly of the first mate. "Where do you think you're going? You've got work to do in the kitchen. Stow your gear in your chest and go see the cook." Grinning he added, "He needs your help with dinner. Ha Ha Ha!"

Joxer did as he was told and was soon in the galley peeling potatoes with a very dull knife. After a couple of hours of peeling he got up to stretch.

"Have you finished that all ready?" Grinning, the cook reached for Joxer's arm and said, "Good! The floor in the dining area needs to be mopped and waxed before dinner. Hop to it boy! The mop and bucket is in there." Laughing he shoved Joxer to another room and walked towards a large wooden table with a meat cleaver and what looked like a half of a cow on it.

Joxer looked around and grabbed the mop and bucket and, muttering under his breath, headed towards the dining room. "Sure! Sail the seven seas! See exotic lands! Be on the biggest ship in the world! What a pile of donkey dung! Slave on the biggest ship and if you're lucky enough to work on the upper decks, you might get to see the sea! And the only way you'll actually see any exotic lands is if you abandon ship! This is only my first day and I've got four more months of this! If it wasn't for the fact that I needed the money, I wouldn't be here right now!"

Getting to work, he started humming his little tune and thinking of Gabrielle and soon found himself in better spirits. When he finished mopping and waxing the floor, he returned the mop and bucket to their place and found the kitchen empty. Finding some water and bread, he sat down and was not eating too long before an unpleasant smell entered the room followed by its owner -- the cook.

"Here now! What do you think you're doing? Nobody gave you permission to eat yet. Give that back and get to work! You don't get no breaks until you're finished your work. Now go see the first mate, he's got some chores for you. When you're finished with those, you can do the dishes."

"I'm sorry. I'm going. By the way, what do I get paid for this?" Joxer asked.

"PAID?? HA HA HA!! Who told you, you were going to get paid? You should be priviliged just to be on this ship! It's the Titanicus! There's no other ship like her, anywhere!" The cook laughed and pushed Joxer out of the galley.

With the cook's cruel laughter in his ears and his face burning with embarrassment, Joxer made his way to the bridge to look for the first mate and his next chore. When the evening came and nobody could think of any more chores for him to do, Joxer collapsed on his bunk and slept soundly until the next morning when someone dragged him out of his bed (and a sound sleep) and he landed on the floor amidst snickers, giggles, and more cruel laughter.

The following several weeks went much the same as the first day with the exception of a couple of small storms and more than a few vicious pranks aimed at Joxer. Then, in the late afternoon of a sunny calm day, the big storm hit. Nobody was prepared, least of all Joxer. Seasoned seamen and guests alike were both taken by surprise. The guests were sent to their cabins and every crew member was sent above decks to assist in the rigging and other duties. Joxer rushed above to assist when a large wave crashed over the deck and he got a mouthful of salt water. Gagging and staggering to the rail, he leaned over and threw his dinner over the side of the ship.

Opening his eyes, Joxer tried to get to his feet and, after several tries, finally succeeded. I will go up there and help. They may have been mean to me, but they still need the help. He thought to himself. With his stomach feeling much the same as the storm outside, Joxer summoned his courage and strength and went up the stairs to help his crewmates. Looking around he saw fear and desperation in the faces of men who had lived on the sea for most of their lives. The first mate was near the stern desperately yelling orders to the men who could hear him. Seeing Joxer, he waved at him to join him.

"I need you to relay orders to the men in the rigging. Think you can do that, lad?"

The concern in the man's voice caught Joxer off guard. "Yeah! I mean sure I could. You bet! So what do you want me to tell them?"

"Good lad! This is probably the most important job you've had on board this ship, so listen carefully! Tell them to cut the mainsail! They've got to cut it! Now go to it boy!"

"Gotcha! Cut the sail!"

"Not the sail! Cut the Mainsail! If they don't we'll be goners! Remember the Mainsail! Hurry!"

"The mainsail. Got it!" Turning towards the bow. Joxer stumbled under the heavy winds and pounding rains. Getting up, he grabbed on to the railing and pulled himself along until he got to the rigging. His hair was whipping his face as he strained his eyes looking for the sailors among the ropes. His wet clothes hung heavy on his lean frame as he grabbed the rigging and hauled himself up. Above him the men were trying in vain to take the whipping mainsail down. Climbing as fast as he could with the heavy wind that tried to carry him out to sea with every gust. Looking up again, trying to shield his eyes from the stinging rain, he saw the nearest man only a few feet away.

"Hey!" Joxer yelled loudly. "Cut the mainsail! Cut the mainsail!" Joxer realized the man couldn't hear him over the wind and climbed so that he was within reach of his boot. Reaching out to grab the boot, a strong gust of wind blew Joxer off the rigging and he fell, screaming, to the deck below. Thinking quickly, he tried to grab something to stop his fall, but nothing was within reach and he landed on the deck hard. As the storm continued unabated, Joxer lay unmoving on the ship's deck, perilously close to the starboard edge.

Present Day

The giant ship floated gently on the calm ocean, the bright sunlight glinted on the burnished bronze letters that spelled 'Titanicus'. On the main deck, there lay a young, dark-haired man who groaned and stirred. Joxer opened his eyes and quickly closed them again when the brilliance of a noon sun blinded him. Gently feeling the back of his head, he discovered a large bump that hurt like the dickens when he touched it. When he tried to sit up, his head felt like it was on fire and he quickly lie back down again. He stayed where he was until he felt a little better and tried again to sit up. His mouth was so dry it felt full of cotton. He crawled to the railing and pulled himself to his feet. When the nausea had subsided, he looked around the deck expecting to see the jeering faces of his crewmates laughing at him and the first mate yelling at him, but he saw no one. The deck was deserted and he could hear nothing other than the gentle creaking of the ship and the waves slapping against the side of ship.

Getting to his feet, Joxer went to the bridge, saw no one and went to the stairs that lead to the lower decks.

As he went through the ship, Joxer felt an increasing sense of unease. He could find nobody else and the quiet creaking of the ship was unsettling. When he got to the ship's treasury, the place where passengers could keep their valuables, he saw the body of another man lying face down on the floor. Not sure if it was alive or dead, Joxer bent and rolled the man over. Gasping in surprise, he shook the other man's shoulder. Not getting any response, Joxer shook harder and said, "Come on Autolycus! Wake up! Autolycus!"

Satisfied to hear a low moan from the unconscious man, Joxer ran to the galley and brought some water and cloth to wipe his face, hoping to rouse him. Minutes later, the handsome King of Thieves slowly sat up and looked around.

"What are you doing here?" Autolycus asked. "Where's all my stuff? What happened?"

"What are you doing here?" asked Joxer. "What did you do?"

"Alright! The last thing I remember was trying to help myself to some of these little treasures and as I was opening the lock something hit me on the back of the head! We better get out of here before someone catches me." Autolycus got to his feet and headed to the door, but Joxer stopped him.

"I haven't found anyone else on board. We're alone." Joxer said. "Maybe we should stay together until we know what's going on."

"No one on board? What are you trying to pull? There were at least 500 people on board! That's impossible!" Seeing Joxer's face and realizing he was dead serious, Autolycus said, "You're serious! No one?" Joxer shook his head. "Alright, let's head to the galley, we need to get some food. There's got to be someone left on board. I guess Xena and Gabrielle didn't join you, huh? What are you doing on this ship anyway? This is the best ship in the world. How could you possibly afford to get on?"

"Well, I didn't get to check the whole ship yet, why don't you help? We can search faster that way. I just have to check the crew's quarters and the officer's quarters."

"Okay, let's go. But no singing that song! I hate that song! At least you're not wearing that... that... 'armor'. I'll look in the passenger rooms and you can look in the crew's quarters. We'll meet up on the main deck." With that Autoclycus turned and walked towards to bow of the ship. Joxer looked after him, relieved to know there was someone else on board besides him.

Then he turned and headed to the crew's quarters.

The crew's quarters were untouched and stopping by his bunk, he put on his armor and felt a little better with the familiar scabbard by his side and the strainer he used as a helmet on his head. Moving on, he examined other areas and stopped in the galley and discovered that it was still full of food stock. The banging of an unsecured porthole made him jump and he quickly closed it. Joxer realized that there were no other people on board the ship other than Autolycus and himself. The great ship Titanicus was empty of all it's crew and passengers except for two people. Putting some food and water into a sack, he left the galley and went to the main deck. Seeing the king of thieves was already there, he rushed to join him.

"Did you see anyone?" asked Joxer.

"Not even a rat! I've never seen anything like this!" Glancing at Joxer, Autolycus grimaced, "I thought you might have come to your senses and lost that thing. I'm glad there's nobody else on board, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with you in that. Well, what to do now? We can't sail this huge ship by ourselves, is there any smaller boats?"

"There's a small boat off the starboard rail and I've got some food and water here that should be enough for a couple of days." Joxer replied.

"Next thing is to look for land. Do you remember where we are?"

"I didn't help with navigating or anything like that. All I remember is that we were blown off course and the last thing I remember is seeing a ball of fire coming towards the ship. The bridge should have a spyglass, at least we'd be able to see if we were around land or not." Joxer suggested.

"Wait! Do you hear something?" Autolycus asked. When Joxer started to respond, he slapped his hand over Joxer's mouth top quiet him. Whispering, "I think I can hear something and it sounds like it's coming closer. We'd better hide. Over here!" Turning, he ran towards the great anchor hosser and crouched down, seconds later Joxer joined him.

"What do you think it is?" Joxer whispered. "I've never heard anything like that."

"I don't know. But it's coming closer, quiet!" Autolycus whispered back.

The sound came closer until it sounded next to the ship and then it stopped. Joxer and Autolycus slowly raised their heads until they could see over the hosser and saw two people boarding the boat. The male, tall with dark brown hair, had a shirt and short pants on, while the female, short with pale skin and red hair, had light coloured pants and shirt on.

"Well, here we are Mulder, what do you want to do now? Go water-skiing?" the woman said with a smirk. "This boat doesn't look older than a couple of months at the most. I think you're wrong. Besides there doesn't look like there's anybody on board. Probably somebody's idea of a joke."

"Funny, Scully. I'm laughing so hard my sides are hurting! Ha Ha. Looks like it just came out of a pretty bad storm. Look at the deck, it's covered with seaweed and stuff. I'm going to look around. Check out the bridge will you? It's at the back, up there." Mulder pointed.

"The stern." Scully corrected.

"Yeah, the stern. There's got to be something in there. Maybe a map or something with a date on it. I'll check out..." he stopped in surprise. "Scully! There's people over here! Quick! Come here, you got to take a look at this."

Scully joined him a moment later. "Who are they? They look like they're from the convention."

Joxer and Autolycus looked at each other and stood up. Smiling, Autolycus approached the red-haired woman and took her hand gently.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen! What say you and I get together and have some dinner." He leaned down and kissed her hand just as she pulled it away.

"What did he just say? Did you understand him? It almost sounded like he wanted to ask me out." Scully said. "I think we're going to need a translator here. I'm going to call one in." She pulled a small black box out of her bag that she carried.

"What are you going to ask for? Someone who speaks ancient Greek? Look at this ship, Scully. I don't think anyone will be able to understand them. I think that one likes you though, look at the way he looks at you." Mulder said.

"What are they saying? Do you understand them? Maybe they're from Britannia? Look at the way they're dressed. I've never seen any clothing like that before." Joxer asked Autolycus.

"I've been to Britannia and they don't talk like this there and they don't dress like that either. She didn't even respond to me. She must be married to this man or at least engaged. They don't seem to be too bad, at least they're not trying to kill us or anything. I think we better just go with them and try to escape later."

"Go with them? But we don't know what they might do to us! They don't have any weapons on them, let's just go now." Joxer said.

"I think I recognize them, Scully. This one, "Mulder indicated Joxer, "looks like he's on that TV show. The one with the warrior babe. You know which one I mean? Xena, I think that's it."

At the name of their friend, both men looked at each other.

"Xena! They know Xena! We've got to get to her, maybe she can help." Joxer said.

"They seem to know the name, they must be from the convention. Come on," Mulder indicated they were to follow him to the side of the boat.

Following the man, Autolycus said, "I think he's going to take us to Xena. Let's go with them."

When they got to the starboard side, Joxer and Autolycus looked down and saw a boat made out of a material they didn't recognize. The man named Mulder indicated a rope ladder and climbed down himself. The two men followed him down and Scully took the rear. When they were all in the boat, Mulder pushed a button and the air was filled with a loud noise that startled both Joxer and Autolycus. He turned the boat toward the distant shore and within minutes Joxer and Autolycus calmed down enough to sit quietly and watch their captors cautiously.

The small boat quickly sped to shore with it's passengers. As the shore grew closer, the tall male in shorts and short-sleeved shirt kept glancing at the tall, lanky man, wearing a strainer for a hat and bits and pieces of things stitched together in what could loosely be called armor.

Looking around the small water-craft, Joxer turned to Autolycus and asked, "What is pushing this boat? There's no sails or oars and there's nothing in front pulling."

"It might be magic. Feel how the boat shakes? Maybe there's something underneath. But that's the last of our worries. Right now, I think we should be worried about where we are going." Autolycus responded.

Looking at Joxer, Mulder snapped his fingers and looked at his partner. "I know that guy is on the show, but I can't remember his name. Rammy, Rainy... Something like that anyway. There's a big following on the 'net. People even write stories about him getting together with the blonde on the show." Mulder said.

"Raimi." the woman said.

"What? How do you know that? Do you secretly wear leather underwear when no one's around?" Mulder said with a straight face.

"His name is Ted Raimi. My brother watches it. He's a die-hard fan for Xena and he thinks Gabrielle and Joxer should get together. I don't watch the show myself. Unfortunately, Medical Digest comes on the same time. Oh well. I'll just have to suffer. His brother produces the show, did you know he also produced that show done by Shaun Cassidy? What was it called... Oh yeah. American Gothic." Scully said. "And if I was to wear leather underwear, you'd be the last to know!"

"Oh, you've cut me to the quick! Since when did you become the TV buff? I bet you watch all these shows and put on this attitude just to fool me. I think they might have been planning a publicity stunt or something on board. Anyway, I say we just drop them off at the convention. But I want a full team to go over that ship. I still think it came through the Burmuda. There are other cases of this you know. The 'Mary Celeste' is the most famous, and there are numerous sitings of lights in the sky or balls of fire hanging just over the water. Some people think there are time warps or gaps where time doesn't exist. Some even say UFO's take them away for experiments or something. Everybody knows about the numerous disappearances of planes and ships, and what about all those ships that came back that were in perfect condition but 50 years in the future?"

"So what are you saying? That these men could be the real Joxer and Autolycus all the way from ancient Greece? Mulder that's is impossible! Not only did the ancient Greeks not have any ships capable of travelling over the ocean, but where would the crew be? And why do these men look identical to their TV counterparts? Besides there are no reports before the early 1800's." Scully asked sarcastically.

"We don't know if there were reports or not. Ships didn't have radios back then and if there was a storm and they were blown off course, that would explain why they ended up here." Mulder replied.

Joxer and Autolycus looked at the two strange people.

"Any idea what they might be saying?" asked Joxer.

"Yep! They're talking about tossing you overboard and letting me go. Of course I don't know what they're saying!" Autolycus said impatiently. "They obviously know who we are though. They keep saying our names. That might work in our favour. Although if they really knew who I was, we might be in real trouble!"

"Oh great! I get work on a ship, get knocked out and when I wake up the only person I find just happens to be the king of thieves! Great! Just wonderful!" Joxer groused.

"Do you think I'm enjoying myself? I hit the richest place in all of Greece and just when I hit the jackpot, I get knocked out! And who do I see when I wake up? Joxer the Mighty idiot!" Autolycus said sarcastically. "Of all the people for the king of thieves to get stuck with, it has to be the king of fools!"

"Idiot? Who was trying to steal from the ship's treasury during a storm? Oh sure! When something goes wrong, it has to be Joxer's fault! Well, it's not my fault you got hit in the head! If you were in your cabin where you should have been, you wouldn't be here right now!" Joxer said loudly, raising his voice as he spoke. "In fact, you shouldn't have been on that ship in the first place! What'd you do, steal the ticket, like you do everything else? You are nothing but a lowly thief!"

"Lowly thief?" Autolycus roared. "Now let me tell you something, you wannabe warrior! You are the most inept, ridiculous, silly, stupid, worthless idiot this world has ever seen! You wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for Xena and Gabrielle! They saved your butt more than you'll ever know!"Autolycus yelled.

Mulder and Scully looked at each other. Scully tried to ease her way between the two arguing men, but the two were almost face to face and yelling at each other. To try to get between the two now might be dangerous, so she withdrew her handgun and pointed it upwards and fired once. The effect was immediate, the two men shut-up and ducked in the bottom of the boat, looking up at Scully, nervously.

"My name is Dana Scully. I'm an FBI agent and I want you both to calm down. You," she pointed at Autolycus and waved the gun toward the bow, "over there. You," pointing at Joxer and waving her gun to the stern, "over there. Stay there! And no more talking!" Sighing she rubbed her temples and pulled her cell phone out. She punched in a number and waited for someone to answer.

"Scully here. I need a translator to the Miami hotel. Greek, I think." Turning to Mulder she said, "I wonder what that was about?"

"It almost sounded like they were insulting each other. We're almost at the pier now anyway. Let's just get them to the hotel and sort this mess out. I know of a great little chinese food place in town and they're having a special tonight on the all you can eat buffet. Want to join me?" Mulder asked, glancing at his partner.

As the two agents discussed dinner plans, the two men glared at each other at opposite ends of the boat. Joxer nodded his head towards the red-haired woman holding the strange-looking metal thing in her hand.

"What in the name of Tartarus was that?" he whispered. "What do you think it could do to us?"

Autolycus shook his head, "I don't know, but we'd better be careful! We are definitely not in Greece anymore!"

As the boat slowed to approach the dock, Autolycus looked at the tall buildings set back from the shore. Looking up he could not see the tops of them as they were lost in what seemed to be some sort of smoke or cloud, although there was no clouds visible in the sky. He could also hear several different noises coming from many different directions.

Glancing at Joxer, he noticed the tall, lanky man was looking at something behind Autolycus with something akin to fright. Looking over his shoulder, the King of Thieves gave a gasp and dove to the bottom of the boat and found Joxer was already there. He heard a sound like thunder that grew steadily louder and roared over their heads. Looking up, he saw the belly of a metal bird-like thing. The wings were long and thin, and instead of having bird's feet, it had what looked like long, narrow boats, but they were closed at the top where a man would sit. It had something spinning at the front of it and the tail was long and thick with a cross-section of wood near the top. As the thing flew away, he slowly sat up and saw that Joxer was still lying at the bottom of the boat, so he gave him a little nudge with his foot.

"It's okay, it's gone. Whatever it was. I never thought I'd say this, but I'll sure be glad to see Xena again! I wonder how she got here though? Last I heard, she was heading to Athens. Do she say anything to you?" Autolycus said.

"She said that her and Gabrielle would meet me in Athens in about four months. That's all. They didn't say anything about going anywhere else. I wish I'd never went on that stupid ship! These past couple of weeks have been the worst in my whole life! I'd give my right arm just to see Gabrielle again!" Joxer moped.

"Just one question, Joxer the Mighty. Why, on earth, haven't you told her you love her yet? Do you want her marry someone else again? She's not going to wait forever you know." Autolycus said.

"I can't tell her, she deserves someone better than me. But I'd do anything for her! I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You don't even like me!" The dark-haired man bent his head as one tear slid silently down his cheek, glistening in the sunlight like a jewel. He thought about her beautiful face and lithe body, her long strawberry blonde hair blowing gently in the breeze, her voice as it sang his song, her arms around him. He thought about her tweaking his nose and constantly putting him down and wished he could hear her calling him an idiot and the feel of her fingers on his nose as she twisted it.

Lost in thought, he didn't realize that they had docked until the woman touched his shoulder and Autolycus called him. Wiping his face quickly, he nodded, got to his feet and left the boat. Looking over his shoulder, he could see the great ship "Titanicus" bobbing gently on the ocean. He also saw several boats approaching it and thought he could see people moving about on the main deck. Cursing the great ship for bringing him here, he turned away and followed the others as they left the dock area.

Mulder and Scully herded the two men towards what looked like a metal cart. Joxer and Autolycus looked around for the horse that was to pull it, but none could be seen. They climbed into the cart and were amazed at the plush interior. The seats felt like velvet and the floor was covered in rugs. Autolycus stretched his body and wondered what was to happen next.

"I think we got the wrong cart. This one looks like it's supposed to be for royalty or something. There must be some mistake. This one's not even ready to go, there's no horse in front." Joxer said, worried that someone would come along and see them.

"This is the one they put us in, if it is a mistake, it's theirs not ours! I say we enjoy their mistake! Maybe they'll bring Xena here. Who cares? Look at this! I've been in some really fancy places before, but this takes the cake! Joxer, stop worrying! What can happen?" Autolycus said confidently.

At that moment, a great roar shook the 'cart' and they started moving. Autolycus lost his confident manner and looked at the front of the car, still not seeing a horse. Joxer nudged him and pointed to a wheel and row of round objects placed so the driver could reach them easily, although what they were used for was a mystery until the man turned a dial and music filled the car. The woman reached over and turned the knob the other way and the music changed. Little sticks moved up and down when they changed speed and lights flashed on and off at different times.

"By the gods! A horse-less cart, music without musicians. The gods themselves don't even have wonders like this! What is this place?" asked Joxer, totally mystified.

Mulder looked in the rear-view mirror and glanced at the two men in the back seat. They've got to be from ancient Greece! Nobody's that good an actor. They seem totally lost in this world. he thought. Those clothes seem too real to be costumes. They smell like they haven't bathed in a long time! They don't seem to understand english at all. They looked at the float plane like it was going to attack them. They must be the real thing! This could prove once and for all that I was right! There is a time gap in the Bermuda Triangle! I know Scully doesn't believe yet, but she will when the translator talks to them! She has to!

Scully glanced at her partner and sighed and shook her head. Poor guy! This happens every time we get an X-file. Damn! Won't he ever learn? These guys are just actors! They're on TV every week. Judging by the way they are acting now, they're pretty good, too! Too good. I wonder sometimes if Mulder isn't right about some things. They sure look the part though. Those clothes are pretty shabby and look like they've hand sewn and repaired many times. They smell like they've been on the ocean for some time, Dad used to smell like that sometimes. Their hair isn't cut straight either and it looks like they might have been hit in the back of their heads, it looks like there is dried blood there. I'll have to look at that when we get to the hotel. I wonder? If they did come through some sort of time warp or something, they would have been driven insane! Wouldn't they? They must be terrified with all this technology, stuff they could never have even dreamed of back in their own time. They used horses and carts, boats were either sailed or rowed, if they are from ancient Greece, they are managing quite well, under the circumstances. We'll find out when the translator gets here.

"Here we are guys! Your new home for the time being." Mulder said with a big smile. He got out of the car and opened the back door for the two passengers. Closing the door, he waved his arm and said, "Come on. Follow me." Pointing to the hotel he parked in front of, he started to walk to the doors and waved again for them to follow. Joxer looked around and saw other carts without horses, some big, some small, moving along a road. Looking at the building they were about to enter, he saw a large piece of parchment stretched just above the front doors. He couldn't read it, it had funny letters and symbols on it. It did have something on it that he recognized though, a circular blade with painted symbols on it -- Xena's chakram! Xena must be here! If she was, he would find her and maybe Gabrielle too.

He entered the building and stopped in utter amazement! Everywhere he looked he saw people dressed like him and Xena and Gabrielle and Hercules!

There she was!

"Xena! Xena! It's me Joxer!" Grabbing Autolycus' arm, he dragged him toward the woman clad in leather armor with long black hair, and stopped short when she turned around. The woman had none of strong beauty that his friend had, instead she looked like she might be only 20 or so. She had none of the battle scars that Xena had either. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he turned and saw another young woman, this time dressed as Gabrielle, smile and say something. He couldn't understand her so he just nodded and smiled and walked back towards the people who had brought him here.

Autolycus was just as confused as Joxer was. Why were these people dressing like Xena and the others? It almost seemed that she was being worshipped as a god! With just a quick look, he saw five different Xenas and a couple of Gabrielles with a few Joxers thrown in. There were also quite a few Hercules walking about as well as Iolaus and, by the gods! There were people dressed like him! Not very well either! Just look at that sash! It's hanging too low. And that person has a pony-tail! Is this the way people saw him? Ah, now there was a good-looking one! Looked just like him, and watching him with a Xena, he even acted like him too! Good! As he walked up to the look-alike, he noticed a few things he didn't before. This one had wide hips and as he turned around Autolycus could see that he had breasts! Utterly disgusted, he turned and walked back to the others. He ignored everyone who approached him, looking disdainfully at Xena and himself holding hands and shook his head as they kissed. Xena would never kiss him! She liked him as a friend but there could never be anything further, it simply was not possible! Their lifestyles were too different, he was a thief and she was a hero.

Mulder and Scully herded their charges to the elevator and they went to the 13th floor. Scully looked at the floor number and shook her head. He'll never change. she thought.

"Triskadeckaphobia! I had to!" Mulder smiled. "Room 1313. Here we go! Inside everyone!"

"Mulder! You just love to push it, don't you? It's just a silly superstition! Nothing's going to happen." Scully scolded.

"Scully, you have no sense of adventure, do you? Any idea when the translator's supposed to be here?" He asked.

Scully shook her head, "They said he would meet us here. Shouldn't be too long." a ring from the telephone interrupted her. When she hung up, she said, "He's downstairs now and is on his way up. He'll be here in a few minutes."

Autolycus and Joxer looked around the room, amazed at what they saw. The man was sitting on one of the beds and pointing something at a large box that was sitting on a table. All of a sudden it came to life, showing pictures of people and animals moving around in different places! Joxer dropped his jaw in amazement. He looked at the box some more and saw Xena and Gabrielle walking along a road. Then the scene switched to a group of warriors hiding in the bushes watching his friend approach. They were talking in a strange language and readied their weapons. Joxer shouted a warning at the screen, trying to help his friends but it was useless! It seemed they couldn't hear him! He tried to hit the screen and whirled on the man who was controlling the box.

"Where are they? Take me to them now! What are you smiling about? Those are my friends!" Joxer growled in frustration. "Autolycus, let's go! They can't be too far away. You've got to help me! They're your friends too! Come on!"

"For some reason I don't think they will let us leave that easily, Joxer. Xena will be alright, I've seen her fight twice as many warriors and come out on top! I think maybe you should sit down and calm down." Autolycus suggested. "I think something is going to happen soon. I can feel it."

"How can you say that? Xena and Gabrielle are our friends! We can't leave them like that without warning them at least!" Joxer protested.

"And how would you suggest we do that? We have no idea where we are let alone where Xena is! Now sit down!" Autolycus said.

Just then the door to the room opened and a man came in. He was tall and thin, with grey hair and something on his nose around his eyes. He walked to the woman and man and they talked for a short time before he approached Joxer and Autolycus.

"Hello. My name is Agent Polopolis and this is Agent Dana Scully and over there on the bed is Agent Fox Mulder. We would like to know who you are and where did you come from?"

Joxer and Autolycus looked at him with surprise. The man had a very thick accent and had mispronounced some words, but they could understand him! They both started to speak at once and Autolycus glared at Joxer and he shut up.

"My name is Autolycus and this is Joxer."

"Joxer the Mighty!" Joxer interrupted.

"And we are from Greece. If you could be so kind as to point the way, we'll be going." Autolycus continued.

"What year are you from?" asked Polopolis.

"Year? What are you talking about?" asked Autolycus. "We just want to go back to Greece to join our friends Xena and Gabrielle."

Turning to Scully and Mulder, Polopolis said, "They are speaking a very ancient dialect. I can barely understand them. They want to go back to Greece and join their friends."

"Ask them how they got here and what they're life is like back home." Mulder said.

"Mulder, why do you want to know what their life is like? They're not from ancient Greece. There is no way they can be. The Bermuda Triangle is just a myth, there has never been any proof of anything supernatural going on there." Scully protested.

"Scully, humor me." Mulder said. Turning to the translator, he continued, "Go ahead, ask them what they did back home." The translator turned back to Joxer and Autolycus and began speaking. When he finished, the thief and the would-be hero looked at each other and shrugged.

"Why do you need to know that?" Autolycus asked. When agent Polopolis asked again, he answered, "Well, I, uh, I travel from town to town doing odd jobs, and my friend here is a hero, sort of. I want to know where I am and when are you going to bring us to Xena?" Autolycus asked.

"Yeah, and I have some questions myself." said Joxer.

"This one says he goes from town to town doing odd jobs, I think I got the wording right on that, and this is supposed to be a hero or something. They also want to ask some questions, and for some reason they think you are going to bring them to Xena."

"Ask them why they think we're going to bring them to Xena? Tell them she isn't a real person, just an actor. I saw they each had a head injury, ask them how they got it and tell them I'm a doctor and want to help them." said Scully.

Agent Polopolis told the men what Scully said, while the woman went to get her medical bag. When she returned, she looked at Polopolis, who nodded, and proceeded to examine their heads. After a few minutes of poking and prodding, she nodded to herself and gave each of the patients a small pill with a glass of water.

"Here, take this. It'll will help with the headaches, which I'm sure you both have." Scully said.

The translator relayed what she said and the two men eyed the pills and cautiously put them in their mouths. Joxer made the mistake of chewing his and made a comical, scrunched up face at the taste. Mulder smiled at the look on Joxer's face and turned his head, so as not to make the other man embarrassed. Autolycus had better luck with the pill as he did not try to chew but allowed it to dissolve on his tongue, trying to determine if it was poison or not. As his tongue did not grow numb, but the pill tasted awful, he tried to swallow it, but his body refused. Drinking the water, he tried to swallow the pill that way and finally succeeded with the last mouthful of water.

When Joxer finally got his voice, he asked Autolycus, "What was that? It tasted awful!"

"I'm not too sure, but I don't think you were supposed to chew it. It wasn't poison, anyway. I think it tasted like birch bark, but I wasn't sure. I don't think they want to hurt us, but I don't think they're going to bring us to Xena either." Autolycus replied.

"What are they going to do with us then? We didn't do anything! They can't keep us. Hey, with all those look-alike Xenas and Hercules and all downstairs, maybe the real Xena and Hercules are around too! If we look around enough, maybe we can find the real ones."

"You know, sometimes you surprise me. That is a great idea." Autolycus turned to the translator, "We'll be right back. We have an old friend to see. 'Bye."

Autolycus grabbed Joxer's arm and headed toward the door, smiling and waving at Mulder and Scully. "Just keep moving." He whispered to Joxer.

"They said they were going to find an old friend and they would be right back." Polopolis said.

"Where are they going to go? Who are they going to see? They can't go anywhere. They'll get lost once they're outside. Look, tell them we'll help find their friends, but we need to ask a few more questions first." Mulder said.

"If they get downstairs, we'll lose them in the crowd!" Scully said.

The translator repeated what Mulder said, adding that they might not find their friends downstairs and that Mulder and Scully could help them find them. The two men looked at each other and shook their heads no. They opened the door and walked into the hallway, neither knowing what to expect, but both knowing they had to find Xena and Hercules if they were going to leave this weird land. Joxer looked up and down the hallway and spied the doors of the special room that brought them here. They went towards it and Joxer pushed the button that opened the doors. They could hear the others following them and ignored them. Autolycus silently withdrew his daggers from under his robes and prepared for a fight. Joxer didn't have any such weapons but braced himself for hand to hand combat, if it came to that. With a soft sigh, the doors opened and they quickly stepped inside and looked at the rows of buttons that was arranged on the wall.

"Which one do we push?" Joxer asked.

"I'm not sure but we better pick one soon, they're coming!" Autolycus stabbed at a button and hoped it was the right one. Mulder and Scully ran to the doors and got there just in time to see the doors begin to close. Stabbing his hand inside as the doors were closing, Mulder grimaced as the doors closed on his hand for a brief second then opened again. Stepping inside with his partner and Polopolis, Mulder pushed another button, and turned to the two men as the elevator started to descend.

"We'll help you find your friends but you've got to help us too. We'll make sure they come to the room as soon as they are here, if they aren't already. Alright?" Mulder asked, glancing at the translator to make sure he got it all.

The two men talked together for a minute, and then turned to face Mulder again. "Alright, but no funny business." Autolycus said.

"Deal!" Mulder held out his hand and waited for the translator to describe what he was doing. Autolycus held out his hand uncertainly, and Joxer followed suit. Unsure of whether to trust their new comrades or not, Autolycus discreetly hid his daggers again and glanced at Joxer to notice that he had relaxed slightly, but was still in a slight defensive posture. That was good. They both needed to be ready for anything and the only person Autolycus trusted right now was Joxer.

Gods! I could really use Xena right now! Autolycus thought. Heck, even her annoying little friend would be helpful right about now! I guess Joxer would be okay. At least he isn't singing that stupid song of his! Glancing over at his unlikely companion, he thought, You know he's not too bad, when he's not being annoying. If he would just stop pretending to be something he's not. He'll never be a warrior, he's barely able to defend himself. He's pretty good at playing the lute, too bad he wouldn't try to be a musician, he might be the best lute player in all of Greece, if only he'd be himself.

The doors opened and Scully frowned and looked at the floor number, six, five more to go. She pushed the button for floor one again and watched the doors close. She glanced sideways at the two strange men.

Who are they? Where are they from? Are they a couple of patients escaped from the psychiatric ward of the local hospital? Too many questions and too few answers. She rubbed her temples. And Mulder, he actually believes they are from ancient Greece. What's worse, if they are psychiatric patients, he playing along with them and feeding their delusions! They could be worse than when we first met. What if they were the actual actors dealing with some kind of amnesia? The head injuries would support that theory. Maybe if they met with the other actors, the others could help bring them back to reality. One thing I do know is they are not from ancient Greece. At least I hope not.

The doors opened and they stepped forward into the lobby of the hotel, it was not as crowded as it was when they arrived. Mulder walked to the front desk and asked to speak to the manager. In a few minutes, a well-dressed man appeared and asked how he could help the group.

Mulder pulled out his wallet and flashed his badge, Scully did the same, "I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder and this is Special Agent Dana Scully. We're with the FBI and we'd like your cooperation. We would like to know if Lucy Lawless and Kevin Sorbo have checked in yet and where their rooms are."

The manager looked uncomfortable, "Well, sir, we do not normally give the information of any guests out. However if this is government business...?" He waited, when Mulder did not respond, he continued, "They checked in about a half hour ago. Mr. Sorbo is in room 213, and Ms. Lawless is in the adjacent room, 214. Please do not tell them where you received this information! If it were to be known that we let this information out, we would lose our reputation and quite possibly lose our rating! We cannot afford this." the manager said anxiously.

"Don't worry sir, we won't tell anyone about your help. Thank-you." Scully reassured the man. Turning to Mulder she said, "Well, do you want to do this now, or wait and get something to eat first?"

Mulder told Polopolis to ask if Autolycus and Joxer were hungry and wanted to eat first or would they like to see their friends first. The two men looked at each other and it was clear they were both hungry, although they both agreed they wanted to see their friends first.

"Alright, your friends first! Let's go. Hey Scully, do you think Lucy might be wearing that leather outfit?" Mulder quietly snickered as they walked back to the elevator and pushed the button to call the elevator.

"Mulder, you are sick, you know that? You really need help. You do realize I'll have to report this." Scully responded, inwardly smiling at Mulder's comment, then grew serious as she continued, "Mulder have you stopped to think that these people need help? They have head injuries and may have amnesia, that may be why they are acting like this."

"Scully, this may be the cure. I don't think they realize where they are and what year it is. When they realize that Xena and Hercules don't speak their language, they'll probably listen to reason."

The elevator stopped and they stepped out and looked for the rooms. They found room 213 first and knocked on the door. It opened showing a well-muscled, middle-aged man with a strong and friendly face, smiling at them.

"What can I do for you? Would you like an autograph?" he asked and smiled at Joxer and Autolycus. "Ted? Bruce! I though you two were still in New Zealand. What are you doing here? Come in! Who are your friends?" Kevin ushered the group into a small living area and asked, "Can I get you something to drink? I have some juice, milk, water? I don't drink so I can't offer you any alcohol."

"Nothing for us, thanks." Scully replied.

Autolycus and Joxer looked at the man who looked remarkably like their old friend in Greece. Speechless for a moment, they looked at the man closely to make sure it was truly their old friend.

"Hercules!" Joxer and Autolycus said together. Autolycus glared at Joxer, who ignored him, and tried to speak again only to be cut off by Joxer again. Giving up he listened to Joxer try to explain their situation to their friend.

Kevin's eyes widened slightly when he recognized the old tongue of his youth. The old demi-god listened closely to Joxer and nodded. "Looks like they've had an accident. We've got a medical staff here, the best money can buy. We'll take care of Ted and Bruce. This happened before with Ted, he really gets into his characters and sometimes he'll stay that way after a shoot. They both studied ancient Greek to try to be more realistic in their characters. Pretty good, huh? Well, thanks for bringing them here, Lucy and I will take care of them. Don't worry. Oh, here's some free tickets to the show tonight. We'll be staging a fight with some of the extras and teaching a little bit. It'll be fun. Hope to see you there. 'Bye!" He ushered them to the door and waited for them to leave.

"We still have some questions for them. Can we call back later? We have a report to fill out and need some more information." Mulder asked. This doesn't seem right. He thought. He's obviously trying to get rid of me. But why? What is he trying to hide?

"Come back tomorrow and we'll try to answer your questions then, if they feel up to it. This has been pretty hard on them. Well, see you later?" Kevin smiled and closed the door.

"Does it seem to you that we were brushed off? Or am I imagining things?" Mulder said.

"We need to follow up on this, Mulder. There's something he's hiding and I want to know what it is." Scully replied.

"'Curiouser and curiouser, said the cat'," Mulder said and walked back towards the elevator.

Scully and the translator followed and they eventually went back to their rooms. Mulder and Scully stayed in his to talk.

"Are you coming?" Mulder asked, changing his shirt.

"To where? You mean the convention? No thanks! You go and have fun." she replied and gave him the tickets.

"Aw! You're going to miss Kevin in his sexy leather pants!" he joked.

"Come on, Scully. Have a little fun! Besides we might learn something."

"Alright! Just to get you off my back, I'll go. But don't expect me to have fun. I'll meet you downstairs in half and hour in the lobby. Okay?" she said.

"Great! Maybe I can find a pair of leather underwear." he grinned as Scully groaned and left the suite.

Joxer and Autolycus watched as the light-brown haired man came back into the sitting area. They knew it was their pal from the land they left, although how he got here, neither of them knew. He looked a little older, but without a doubt this was their friend, perhaps the only one they had in this strange land.

Hercules regarded the two men on his couch for a few minutes. How did they know the old tongue? They even knew his correct name, not the name the "scholars" gave him. These were the real Joxer and Autolycus! But how had they ended up here? They were not half-gods, as Xena and himself were, nor did they partake of any Ambrosia. So many questions and not enough time! First thing though, he had to get Xena.

"I'll be right back! There's someone who will want to see you!" With that he turned and walked out of the suite and closed the door. He quickly walked the short distance to the other door and knocked urgently. He heard some movement inside and called out, "It's okay Lucy, it's me! I've got an emergency next door, I need your help with!"

The door opened to reveal a woman wearing a short-sleeved top and shorts drying her long black hair. She looked at him and saw the urgency in his face and tossed the towel aside. Without saying a word she followed him back to his suite and stopped short when she saw who was there.

Joxer jumped up, ran to his friend and threw his arms around her, "Xena! Boy am I glad to see you! Where are we? Is Gabrielle here?" She listened to him speak a language she had almost forgotten. She heard her old name and felt tears in her eyes, remembering her old friends.

"Joxer? Is it really you? What happened? When the Titanicus never returned, we thought you drowned! But ... you're here? With Autolycus? How?" The old words felt strangely familiar on her tongue. She hugged her old friend fiercely. "Sit down, tell me what happened."

Autolycus repeated their story again, omitting the part of his stealing. When he mentioned the various things they encountered, she interrupted him and told him what they were. When he told her what happened with Joxer and the images of Xena and Gabrielle on the TV, Xena and Hercules laughed.

"That wasn't real! It's kind of like a play. And that wasn't Gabrielle, it was an actress." Xena laughed. She explained that the two men had travelled thousands of years into the future. "Gabrielle and Argo and Iolaus have been dead for a long time. There are many things that are better than ancient Greece."

"Ancient Greece?" asked Joxer. "It doesn't feel ancient to me."

"That's what it's called in this time." Xena responded.

They continued to talk about various things until they heard a knock on the door. Hercules went to answer it and came back a moment later. "Xena, it's getting late and we've got to get ready for the show." Looking at Joxer and Autolycus, "I don't think it would be a good idea for you guys to go with us, stay here. Are you hungry?" They both nodded. "Okay I'll make sure you guys have some food before I go. I want to keep this low profile. So no leaving this room without me or Xena, okay? Just stay here! We'll be back in about an hour or so. Oh! Autolycus -- No stealing!" He turned and walked into another room and Xena left the suite.

A few minutes later, Hercules returned, dressed in familiar leather leggings and top that Joxer and Autolycus remembered. "I'll order some food for you guys. What would you like? Chinese, KFC, pizza?" Hercules asked.

"Chinese? Kayeffcee? Peesa? What's that?" asked Joxer confused.

"Ah, never mind. I'll improvise." Hercules said.

A few minutes later the food came and Hercules headed to the door. "Where are you going? Are you sure we can't come?" Joxer asked.

"I'm going to work and no, you can't come! Look, just sit down, eat, watch some TV and I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise. Just don't leave this room for anything!" Hercules stressed.

"Alright! We understand. Relax, we promise not to go anywhere. I promise not to steal anything. Joxer promises not to annoy me," he glanced at Joxer's pouting face and smiled, "well, maybe not. Look, we'll be okay." Autolycus promised, following Hercules to the door, and holding it for him.

Hercules nodded and left, closing and locking the door securely behind him. He was worried about what to do with his friends. They couldn't stay in this time period but how to return them to their own time? He had a way, but could he trust Autolycus with his secret? He pushed those thoughts out of his mind, there was time enough for that later.

He knocked on Xena's door and waited. No matter what the year was, it always seemed to take forever for a woman to get ready. She soon appeared holding a bottle of Jamaican Rum and smiling wickedly.

"What's that for?" asked Hercules.

"A little welcome present for Autolycus. I've always wished I could get back at him for getting a friend of mine drunk and robbing her. I only wish I could watch him as he drinks this." Xena laughed. "Oh well! Time for that later I guess."

They dropped the rum off and waited until the food arrived, at which point, Joxer wanted to know exactly what everything was. Then they left and headed down to the convention.

Joxer ate from the many trays of food that was put in front of him. There were food he had never seen before, but everything was delicious! Fried chicken, french fries, chow mien, sweet and sour pork (he was confused at that, until he tasted it!), deep fried prawns, pizza, lasagna, and more! He had tried the rum and decided that he didn't like it, especially when Xena told him not to drink it. When the food had arrived he had listened carefully to what Hercules called everything, trying to remember the names. He tried everything once and then ate with gusto everything he could! He had never seen this much food before and had offered to share with Hercules and Xena, but Hercules refused saying it was all for him and Autolycus. Amazing! All this for him?

When he finally had enough and his stomach was distended to almost three times it's normal size, he went the couch and was soon snoring.

Autolycus looked at the food before him and didn't know where to start. He saw Joxer dig in to everything, but he preferred to take his time and enjoy this. He tried a biteful of each, washing each mouthful down with the delicious rum that Xena had brought over. He soon felt very good and started to eat less and drink more. By the time three quarters of the bottle was gone, he was face down in the sweet and sour pork.

Mulder and Scully headed downstairs shortly after Hercules and Xena and walked to the area the staged fights were to take place. Mulder looked around and saw a number of leather-clad females and males, all hoping for a glimpse of their favorite stars. He shook his head, he couldn't understand why people went to such lengths for a TV show. Look at that one, she barely looks old enough to drive and she's wearing a skimpy leather outfit that was smaller than Xena's, mind you, she fills it better than Xena could hope to do. Speaking of which, I wonder where those two are. I thought the show was supposed to take place around 7:30 PM? Oh well, they probably lost track of time taking care of their friends. What time is it, anyway? 7:45 PM. Where...? Oh, here they are. Dressed like their TV characters. Nice touch. He settled down in his seat to watch the stage fight.

Scully looked at her partner and sighed. This had better be good! she thought. Looking at her watch, she sighed. They're late. No wait, here they come now. I guess they were concerned with their friends. I don't blame them. People love the characters Ted and Bruce play. Bruce is kind of cute, I can see where he gets a lot of his fans. Charming, too. She was interrupted in her thoughts when her phone rang.

"Scully." She walked out of the room to a more quiet place and tried to hear what the other person said. "Yes, sir, I know, but Mulder believed this to be an X-file and..." she listened again nodding her head. "I understand sir. We'll leave right away. Scully out." She put the phone back in her pocket and went to find Mulder, only to find him standing behind her.

"Mulder, that was Skinner. We've got to go. There's been a bomb threat in Kansas at the federal building and they're calling all agents in on this one. I'm going to talk to Kevin and Lucy again to make sure those men are receiving good care and then we're going."

"But Scully, We've got the real thing here. This is proof that the Bermuda Triangle has been around for thousands of years. Those men are not fakes. You saw them! No one can act that good! One more day, Scully, come on! They've got lots of agents on that site already, you know that. We'd just be standing around with nothing to do. Let me just talk to them once more, I think I can prove that they came from ancient Greece." Mulder pleaded, getting a lost little puppy-dog look on his face.

"I can't, Mulder. Not this time. I'm not going through another review for you Mulder. You do this every time and I'm not doing it this time. Look, Kevin already said Ted and Bruce were taking lessons in ancient Greek. The head injury probably caused a mild case of amnesia, like Kevin said. I'm not going to lose sleep over it and I don't think you should either." Scully replied.

"I really think we had something here Scully." He paused, for a moment, then continued, "Tell me honestly, did you believe, even for a moment, that those two could be from ancient Greece?"

Scully looked at him and wondered if she should tell him the truth. Then shook her head, "No, Mulder. I don't believe in the Bermuda Triangle or UFO's or time warps. There is no scientific proof."

Turning, she walked away, hoping he'd see right through her.

Mulder watched her walk away and smiled to himself. She believed, she'd never admit it, but she believed and that was enough for him, for now. He walked to the elevator to go to their room and pack. Oh well, he thought, there's always next time.

He got to the room ahead of Scully and quickly packed what clothes he brought with him. Scully returned and started to pack her stuff. She noticed Mulder watching her.

"What?" she said, continuing to pack.

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering." Mulder replied.

"Wondering what?"

"Oh, nothing really." he said, not looking at her.

Scully stopped packing and looked at her partner, wondering what he going on about this time. He wasn't normally that interested in what she was packing, but then, they had never shared a room before either. This was the first time they had to because of the convention, and they were lucky to get this one. Then she remembered.

"Mulder, do you honestly think I would tell you whether I wear leather underwear or not? If I did, and I'm not saying I am, then it's none of your business!" With that she slammed the suitcase shut and left the room.

"For your information, Scully, I was not wondering whether you wear leather underwear or not, and I resent the fact that you think I was wondering that!" Mulder said huffily.

. "Oh really?" Scully said sarcastically. "Then what were you wondering about Mulder?"

"I was wondering who would get first dibs on the bathroom in the morning, if we actually stayed the night here. I figured you would because you'd probably need more time to get ready." Mulder said innocently avoiding Scully's eyes.

She looked at him closely and then realized what he did. "You went through my clothes!" she said, shocked, then recovering asked, "Are you satisfied now?"

"Yep!" Mulder said smugly.

Hercules and Xena went through the staged fight as quickly as they could, then hurried up the stairs to check on Joxer and Autolycus. When they entered the room they noticed the place was dark. quickly entering the living room, they looked around and saw Joxer on the couch, curled up in a fetal position with a big smile on his face and Autolycus was slumped on the table with his face buried in a plate of sweet and sour pork. Hercules and Xena smiled and tried hard not to laugh, but their quiet giggling woke the two sleeping men up.

"Wha...? Oh, Hi Xena and Hercules." Joxer yawned and stretched his lanky form and sat up. Looking around, he saw Autolycus and couldn't control himself. He doubled over, holding his stomach and laughing so hard, his face went red.

Autolycus slowly came to and raised his head, bits of pork and congealed sauce fell from his face and hair. He squinted his eyes to try and bring the multiple images together, and soon gave up. As he became more conscious of himself and his surroundings, he grew aware of a pounding ache in his head. He noticed the bottle of rum in his hand still and smiled as he brought the bottle to his lips and took another swig. His head-ache didn't hurt as bad so he took another drink and sighed.

"You should see yourself! By the gods, you look funny! Bits of pork and red sauce in your face and hair. You are going to need a waterfall to get rid of it all! I've seen village drunks that look better than you do right now!" Joxer started to laugh even harder.

Autolycus frowned at the sound of Joxer's shrill laughter and took another drink. He smacked his lips and saw Xena and Hercules giggling at him and frowned again. It didn't look good for the king of thieves to be laughed at so he tried to stand up and put a stop to it. He only succeeded in swaying like a drunken sailor and when he tried to steady himself on the table, he missed it and crashed to the floor where he promptly passed out again.

Joxer saw what happened and laughed hysterically, doubled over and groaning in pain as his stomach started to hurt. Hercules and Xena tried to regain their composure and slowly succeeded in calming themselves down somewhat. A knock on the door sobered the three friend's jovial mood. Hercules went to answer it, while Xena and Joxer pulled Autolycus onto the couch and covered him with a blanket Xena found in the bedroom.

"I just wanted to make sure that your friends were okay. We've been called to another case and can't stay any longer. How are they doing?" Scully asked.

"Oh well, they're doing fine. Bruce is just resting right now and Joxer was going to take a shower. Lucy and I just got back ourselves. Did you enjoy it?" Hercules asked.

"Well, we didn't get to see the whole show, I received a call and had to pack right away, but I wanted to say good-bye and see how your friends were doing. Can we come in? I'd like to see how they're doing. We won't stay long, we have an eleven o'clock plane to catch." Scully tried to look past Hercules into the sitting area, but he conveniently shifted his weight and prevented her from seeing very much.

Hercules didn't think it would be a good idea to let these two agents meet Joxer and Autolycus again. He had been hiding his real identity for thousands of years, as had Xena, and neither could afford to be recognized for who they really were. If these agents found out their secret, who knows what could happen? Maybe it would be better to let them see Joxer and Autolycus again. If he refused they might get suspicious, and that could lead to trouble.

"Yeah, sure, come on in. Ah, excuse the mess, we, uh, ordered some food in and hadn't cleaned up yet." Hercules stepped aside and waved his arm to show them the sitting room.

"Hello. Agents Mulder and Scully isn't it? Nice to meet you." Xena shook hands with them. "You'll have to excuse Bruce, he was really tired from the long day, and I don't think that bump on his head helped any. Please, sit down. Can I get you anything?" Xena asked the two agents.

"No thank-you. We can't stay long. How are they doing? Have they recovered their memories yet? I don't have much time, but I'd like to ask them a few questions before I go. I know Bruce is asleep, but perhaps Ted would be able to answer a few?" Scully asked.

"I'm sorry, but Ted is just taking a shower and hasn't regained his memory yet, I don't know why, but I'm sure he'll come around soon." Xena answered. "It's too bad you're leaving so soon, but perhaps we could give you a call when they recover?" she asked.

"It's very unusual for a person to use a second language when they have amnesia. I'd appreciate a call, here's my card. You can call me anytime. I'm sorry to have disturbed you both, and I hope your friends recover quickly. Thank-you for your time." Scully walked back to the door with Mulder following.

"Oh, the ship off-shore, what are you using it for?" Mulder asked, just before they walked out.

"Oh, the ship, well, it's sort of..." Hercules stuttered.

"It was a publicity stunt!" Xena said quickly. "We'll be using it in the future and just had it hauled out here for the convention. Just wanted to get the public's attention, you know. I think it worked, after all, it brought you two, right? It looks pretty good too, The fx guys worked real hard on it to make it look good."

"Well, they fooled me. I could've sworn it was authentic. But then, I'm not a ship expert. It sure looks real though. Thank-you for your time." Mulder said.

Hercules quickly closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank the gods! I kept thinking that they would find out the truth or suspect something. That was close!" Hercules sighed again and sat down in a chair. "We've got to send them back!"

Joxer poked his head out of the bathroom and looked around. Not seeing the two FBI Agents, he went to the table and sat down in front of the food. Nibbling on a piece of fried chicken, he listened to his friends.

"How do you suggest they go home? Fly?" Xena said sarcastically.

"I may have a way that will send them both back, before the ship even leaves the harbour. Remember the Chronos Gemstone?" Hercules asked.

"Yes, but you crushed it, remember?" Xena said.

"Yes, I crushed that one, but there were three of them. I crushed one, one was lost in the pits of Tarturus, and I have the last one." Hercules said.

"You have one? Where did you get it?" Xena asked astonished.

"A warlord found it and I simply helped him realize that he would like me to have it. Very considerate of him. Anyway, I'm worried about Autolycus. He may try to keep it and you remember what happened the last time he had one of the stones? We don't need that to happen again. How would you propose we do this?" Hercules asked.

"Why not now?" asked Joxer. "He's asleep, and I don't want the Chronos gemstone. I could just give it back to one of you when I get back"

Xena and Hercules looked at each other. They both knew that Joxer would keep his word. The problem was Autolycus. As sure as they knew that Joxer could be trusted, they knew by that same assurity that Autolycus could not. Hercules realized that Joxer was right, if they didn't sent them back when Autolycus was asleep, he would steal the Chronos gemstone before Joxer would know it was gone.

"Alright, you'll go now. But be careful! If Autolycus suspects you have the stone... well, you know." Hercules said.

"Wait! If I go back here, won't I just arrive in the same spot a few thousand years earlier?" asked Joxer. "I mean, isn't that what happened with you and Autolycus? You went back in time but stayed in the same place?"

"He's right, again. We'll have to go to Greece." Hercules replied. "Do you want to come, Xena? I know you were planning to go home."

"Go home? When I have the chance to see Greece again? You know I haven't been there in over five hundred years! Besides, I want to make sure Autolycus goes back! The last thing this world needs is a time-travelling thief!" Xena responded.

"Great!" exclaimed Joxer. "When can we go? Oh! Wait, I almost forgot! How are we going to get Autolycus to fall asleep again? We can't keep him drunk forever."

Xena smiled, "Don't worry, Joxer. We've got a special sleeping pill that will make the king of thieves sleep like a baby."

"Well, what are we waiting for? I can't wait to get back! Boy, wait 'til I tell everyone what happened! They won't believe it!" Joxer exclaimed.

"That's right, Joxer. They won't believe you, and it is not a good idea for anyone to know what the future holds. I want you to promise never to tell anyone what you saw here." Xena saw Joxer open his mouth and interrupted him, "NO ONE! Not even me or Hercules! Do you understand?"

Joxer closed his mouth and nodded. He understood. He would certainly be glad to get out of this insane world of horse-less carts and 'TV' and metal birds and more senseless things he would be glad to forget! How could Xena and Hercules live in such a world? How can Xena be happy without Argo and Gabrielle? He just couldn't see Greece's greatest heros living in a world like this. Did people still worship the gods like they did in Joxer's time? He hoped the trip to Greece would be quick, he had never felt so homesick in his life.

"Alright everyone! We're off to Greece!" Hercules said. "I just have to head to L.A. first to get the gemstone and I'll meet you in Athens!"

Xena and Hercules packed quickly while Joxer watched the television. He seemed totally entranced with the images now that he knew they weren't real. He kept changing the channel until he found what he was looking for -- Xena: Warrior Princess. He stared at the screen when the actress who played Gabrielle came on, amazed at how much she looked like the real Gabrielle. He swallowed a lump in his throat and wiped a tear that had formed in the corner of his eye.

"Gabrielle." he whispered. She looks so much like her. I can't believe it's possible for two women to look so much alike and live thousands of years apart! I can't believe how much I miss her. I should never have gone on that stupid ship!

"I wonder if she even missed me at all." he said, not realizing that he spoke aloud.

Xena had come into the room carrying her bags and heard him. She looked at the young man. He loves her so much, if she had only given him a chance, he would have made her happier than even I could have made her. When we thought he died, I told her that he loved her and she realized only then how much she had come to care for this man.

"She missed you... a lot. When we thought you had gone down in that cursed ship, she cried for almost a month! She never realized how much she cared for you until you were gone. None of us did." Xena said.

"If she cared for me so much, why did she treat me the way she did?" Joxer asked bitterly. "You don't have to try and make me feel better. I know she didn't really like me, she barely tolerated me. When I get back, I'll make sure that I don't bother you and Gabrielle again."

"Joxer! Stop it! I know you're upset and confused about what happened to you. Pull yourself together. I'm telling you the truth! Joxer, Gabrielle really does care for you! I don't know if she loves you or not, but I do know that she cares for you a lot! She mourned for you for almost five years! To be honest, sometimes I believe she mourned for you more than she mourned for Perdicus." Xena said passionately.

"She mourned for me more than her own husband? I know how much she loved Perdicus! There's no way in Tartarus that she could love me even half as much as her husband! Don't patronize me Xena!" Joxer replied.

If only that were true. he thought. Perhaps there could be a future for us. But what can I do?

As if she read his mind Xena replied, "Just be yourself, Joxer. Don't try so hard! If she is in love with you, it's you she will love, not anything else! Don't try to be something you're not. You are a musician not a fighter."

At that moment Hercules came back into the room carrying two large suitcases. He dropped them by the door. Turning, he looked questioning at Xena and Joxer. "Are we ready to go? I've made reservations on the 1 AM flight to L.A.. When I get the stone, we can head straight from there to Greece." Looking at Autolycus lying on the couch, he asked, "How is he? Should we wake him now or wait 'til the car's loaded?"

"Why not wait until we're ready to leave? He could probably use the extra rest, it might help with the hang-over he's going to have." Xena snickered and added, "I am going to enjoy waking him! This will almost be worth the wait!"

"You are so cruel sometimes! You are just like your father!" Hercules shook his head. "Well, like father, like daughter, I guess."

Joxer looked confused. He looked from Xena to Hercules and back again. "'Just like your father'? I thought your father was Atrius?" Joxer asked.

"Joxer, did you ever wonder why I'd be alive for thousands of years if I was a mortal? Only a god or demi-god would have immortal life. I found out that my real father was Ares. He visited my mother, Cyrene, when my father was away in battle and pretended to be my father. My mother didn't know until Ares told us." Xena explained. "I beat him in combat. A mortal cannot beat him only a god can, or a half-god."

"ARES is your father?!?" Joxer exclaimed, taking a step back. "But you, you're nothing like him! He's ruthless and cold and...How could you be his daughter?"

Xena smiled, "Just because he's my father doesn't mean I have to be like him. I am still the same old Xena. Don't forget, I'm part human, too. I have emotions and feelings."

"I'm sorry, Xena. It's just, wow, he's your father, I mean that's kind of like, well, wow! Did Gabrielle know? Did anyone else know?" Joxer asked.

"Gabrielle knew, but even Hercules didn't know until much later. It's not something I really wanted a whole lot of people to know about. I already had the reputation of being the greatest warrior, the last thing I needed was for it to get out that I was immortal as well." Xena said. "I'm taking a great risk telling you this. You have to swear to me that you will tell no one! Joxer, I'm trusting you with a precious secret that only a few people know, I know that I can trust you with this. Don't let me down!"

"I swear to you Xena, that I will not tell anyone who you really are!" Joxer replied solemnly. "I promise not to let you down!"

"Good! Not that that's settled, let's get the car loaded." Xena said.

Joxer looked at Autolycus again to make sure he was still sleeping. Autolycus was lying on the couch with his head supported by an armrest and his mouth hung slack with a thin line of drool on his cheek.

Definately asleep. He thought. Good! The last thing we need right now is a drunk thief to worry about. Not that he's such a bad guy, once you get to know him. But let's face it, nobody trusts a thief!

Xena and Hercules grabbed the suitcases at the door and waited for Joxer. After looking at Autolycus, Joxer nodded to himself and grabbed the remaining suitcases and left the room, making sure the door was closed after him. He waited with Xena and Hercules by the elevator and walked nervously inside. As the doors closed and the elevator started to descend, Joxer felt his stomach lurch. He swallowed hard and glanced sideways at Xena. She seemed composed, as always, and didn't seem the least bit disturbed by the ride. Joxer tried to immitate her. When they reached the bottom, they unloaded the elevator, carried the bags to the door and waited for Hercules to bring the car to the front. Being late at night, there were not too many people around and the friends were able to load the car quicker than they anticipated.

Back in the room, Autolycus was coming around slowly. Very slowly. He opened his eyes and the light felt like daggers. He quickly closed them again. Son of a Bacchai! What in Tartarus did I drink? I have got the mother of all hang-overs! Even my hair hurts! Wait 'til I get a hold of that wench! She did this on purpose! I'm just going to stay here until I die. Groaning, he tried to move and found that every part of his body hurt beyond description. He thought he could hear the sound of approaching feet and knew that his 'friends' (he used that term very loosely) were returning.

"Xena..." he started, then stopped because just the sound of his own voice was painful.

"So you're awake? Good let's go!" Xena said in an overly loud voice. Noticing that Autolycus wasn't moving she clapped her hands loudly and said, "Come on king of thieves! Get up, let's go! We've got a plane to catch!"

"Xena you are so cruel! Can't you just let a dying man lie? Leave me alone, please?" Autolycus pleaded.

Xena grinned wickedly and ruffled his hair and snickered at his whimper of pain. "Come on. Time to get up. We've got to clean you up before we go anywhere. I guess we'll need to get some clothes for you as well."

"I can get Autolycus cleaned up if you want to take Joxer and get some clothes. There's a shop down the road, you should be able to get everything you need there." Hercules said and reaching into his wallet he gave Xena a wad of bills, "Take this. It should cover anything you need to get."

Hercules went to where Autolycus lay, picked him up gently and carried him into the washroom to clean him up. Joxer heard Autolycus groaning as Hercules was carrying him. "I'm going to get you Xena! I don't know how yet, but I'll get you for this!"

Xena and Joxer said good-bye and headed downstairs where Joxer followed Xena to a small store that had various brightly coloured clothing in a well-lit window. He looked at the people who walked past them with the occasional one looking at them with recognition. One couple actually stopped them and pointed to them and then to a small object one of them had in their hand. Xena tried to ignore them but finally gave up and stood beside Joxer.

"What's going on?" Joxer asked confused. "What do they want?"

"They want to take our picture. It's okay. There will be a bright flash of light and then it will be over. Just relax, it won't hurt you. Oh yeah, one more thing -- smile." Xena smiled and put her arm around him.

Joxer grinned his goofy grin and put his arm around Xena. All of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light and Joxer thought he was blind. He blinked rapidly and his vision slowly returned. He looked around for Xena and saw her smiling and looking at him in amusement. He grinned again to show that he was okay.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded and they entered the store. Loud music blared from several large black boxes hanging from the ceiling and several people approached them at once. Without the music, it was just like the bazaar in Athens. The people who approached them were obviously sales people and the large guy sitting at a counter reminded him of Salmoneous. Xena had walked over to a rack of clothes and was looking at several that looked like they might fit him. He wandered over and looked at the selection. Finding one that he liked, he pulled it out and showed it to Xena. It had large daisies on it and was bright pink, it reminded him of Gabrielle. She loved daisies and he thought she liked pink or maybe it was green?

Xena looked at it once and looked at him with a look of disgust written on her face. She showed him a couple of shirts that were plain coloured and looked similar to what other people wore in this time. He nodded reluctantly, but still held the floral shirt and silently asked if he could have that one too. Xena looked at him and sighed. Nodding, she put three shirts on the counter next to the fat man and led Joxer to a rack that had pants on it. This time Joxer agreed with her choice and Xena went to pay for their purchases. While Xena was at the counter, Joxer wandered over to a shelf holding some hats. He looked at a couple and saw one that had Xena's chakram on it. Excited he took it to Xena and asked if he could get that as well. She nodded and paid for it.

They returned to their room to find that Hercules had cleaned Autolycus and was waiting for the clothes. Xena handed him the clothes she chose for Autolycus and sat down with Joxer.

I wonder what's going to happen next? Are we going to camp for the night or keep going until we reach Greece? Joxer yawned and closed his eyes. I have never felt so exhausted before in my life! I'll just rest here until we... Joxer couldn't finish his thought. His exhaustion had finally caught up with him and he simply passed out.

Xena looked at her friend. Poor guy! I never thought that he and Autolycus and been going since sunrise. Come to think of it, I'm pretty tired myself. Maybe a short nap would be okay before we go. She closed her eyes and let herself drift off.

A few minutes later, Hercules and Autolycus came out of the washroom and saw the two friends asleep on the couch, Joxer's head on Xena's shoulder and Xena's head on Joxer's head. Autolycus looked at the two sleepers and snickered. He slowly crept over to Xena and bent over and... squealed in pain as Xena grabbed his ear and twisted painfully.

"Ow! Ow! Okay! I give up! I'm sorry!" he said trying to bend his head towards her.

"Quiet! You'll wake Joxer." Xena let go of his ear and smiled. "Hey, you look pretty good! You even smell better." Looking at Hercules, Xena gestured towards Joxer and Autolycus and said, "I think it might be better to get a good night's sleep and leave tomorrow. Joxer is obviously exhausted and I know I'm pretty tired after that convention. You didn't check us out yet did you?"

"No, I didn't check us out, but I did load the car up." Looking at Xena's face and listening to Joxer's snores, he replied, "but I can bring what we need back and have the valet park the car again. We can wait until tomorrow. I could use the sleep myself come to think of it. How about you go to your room and I'll just get another bed in here for Autolycus?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow around 8 AM? Or is that too early?" she asked.

"8 AM is fine. I'll see you then."

Xena left and went back to her room as Hercules tried to get another bed. She yawned. Boy, I AM tired. What a day! I didn't realize how much I missed the old days until I saw Joxer and even Autolycus again. What a mismatched pair! How those FBI agents managed to get them both here together in one piece, I'll never know! She smiled as she walked into her room and locked the door. Walking to the bedroom, she undressed and climbed into the soft bed and closed her eyes. Ahh! That feels so good! I'm glad we didn't have to board that plane tonight. There's only so many things a person can do in one day and I think I did everything I could for today. Even a half-god needs rest sometimes. With that she dozed off and dreamed of the pleasant days with Gabrielle and Argo and the many different adventures they had.

Hercules watched his friend leave and made sure she got into her room okay, as he always did. She seems to fit into this life much better than I can. I am so proud of her for that, and envious as well. Thank the gods she recommended that we stay the night. I'm tired myself and have a lot to think about. What a shock! Meeting Joxer and Autolycus again! I can't believe how much I miss the old days. Even with all the fancy things we've got in this time, I'd rather be back in ancient Greece with Iolaus and Xena and Gabrielle. Fighting monsters, being the hero, that was the life. So many people say they would love to live forever. If only people knew what it's really like. The loneliness, the boredom, to never be able settle down with one person for very long for fear of being discovered, and if you are discovered, the panic and fear you feel. Watching all your friends die before you. I was thankful when Xena and I found each other again. We have each other to talk to and have become even closer than I thought friends could. He got into the elevator and descended to the main floor.

Autolycus watched the ancient hero leave. He took the remote control and sat in the chair opposite the TV. Aiming the control at the TV, he pushed the buttons until it turned on. Not a bad time, really. I mean we could have wound up on the bottom of the ocean or something. Nice clothes, soft chairs, television, good food, great... rum, was it? What a life! I could definately get used to this! I wonder if we could stay here. Why do we need to go back anyway? What is there to go back to? A life in prison? or worse? Yep! I'm going to stay right here. I've just got to figure out a way to get rid of Xena and Hercules. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander. A few minutes later, he was asleep and dreaming about what he thought the wealth of this time would be like.

When the elevator opened, Hercules walked to the car and brought the luggage back to his room and returned to the front desk to arrange for a second bed. He was told it would arrive in a few minutes and would he like a wake-up call in the morning? He answered that he didn't and returned to his room and found the bed with a bellhop waiting for him outside his door. He helped the man bring the bed inside and gave him a tip. Closing the door after the man, he looked at his two companions, one asleep on the couch and the other nodding off in a chair. I'll have to wake Autolycus to move him into this bed. I'll just lie Joxer down, he'll be okay on the couch. Yawning, he shook Autolycus and helped him into the bed. He went to Joxer and laid him down. Joxer only mumbled a little and snuggled down into the soft cushions. One thing I sure don't miss are the 'beds'. I'll never figure out how he survived back there. He was useless as a fighter, even hand-to-hand! It's sure nice to see him again though! Putting a blanket over Joxer, There! All done. Now for some shut-eye! Bed is sure going to feel good tonight! I may be immortal but I can still feel all the aches and pains a mortal can feel.

Hercules got undressed and climbed into bed and shut his eyes. A few minutes later he was asleep, dreaming of old friends and ancient lands.

Xena woke up and stretched, reaching for her sword and chakram. Not feeling them, she opened her eyes and realized where she was and sighed. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached for her clothes. She showered, dressed and went next door to meet her friends.

She knocked on the door and when no one answered, she knocked again, louder. The door was soon opened by a very groggy Joxer. "Xena? Oh, right, hi. Come in. Hey, guys, it's just Xena!" he called. Joxer moved out of the way and closed the door after her. "Hercules ordered some breakfast and there's plenty for you as well."

Xena walked in to see Hercules and Autolycus sitting at a table eating bacon, eggs, ham, toast, hashbrowns, and more. There was enough food for an Athenian army! She found a place to sit beside Joxer and grabbed an empty plate. She glanced at Joxer and smiled as she remembered how much he could eat without trying! She didn't want to think about how much he ate the night before! Autolycus was more conservative, his plate having bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, and some toast on it. Hercules ate as he always did, a full breakfast with a lot of juice. He picked up that habit after reading that eating a hearty breakfast was good for you. She grabbed some bacon, eggs, ham, toast and hashbrowns with a large glass of juice to wash it down.

"How's everybody feeling this morning?" Xena asked.

She received some grunts and mumbles as an answer from the men.

"Hercules, did you get a flight yet?" she asked.

He swallowed what he was eating and nodded. "Yeah. We've got a flight to L.A.. It leaves at 7:45 this evening." Noticing her dismayed look, he continued, "It was the soonest I could get. This is the end of spring break you know. It's almost impossible to get a flight anywhere right now. Unless you want to charter a plane? We should be able to one right away."

Xena sighed, "I think we'll have to get a charter. I want to return these two as soon as we can. Today, if possible."

"We don't mind waiting an extra day or two. It's not so bad here, once you get used to it. I could get used to soft beds and good food. We're not in a hurry, why not wait?" Autolycus said.

Hercules and Xena glanced at each other, knowing that if Autolycus wanted to stay, there was a reason. "You can't stay in this time and you know that. You're going back as soon as we can get you back." Xena said.

"You don't even know the language here. This is nothing like ancient Greece." Hercules added.

Hercules went to the phone and called the airport. When he returned some time later, he didn't look happy. "I got a charter to L.A.. It's costing a small fortune! Do you know what they want? $20,000!! It's highway robbery! We can leave when we want and be there in a couple of hours." Hercules said.

"I'll split it with you." Xena said. "If we hurry, we can get there this afternoon, maybe we can get a plane from there going to Greece this evening."

The two half-gods packed the few things they had left, leaving the two misplaced Greeks to do as they pleased for a few minutes. "It's a good thing we got most of the stuff packed last night. We just have a few things to bring to the car and then we're off!" Hercules said.

In a half-hour they were underway for the airport. Xena and Hercules sitting up front, with Autolycus and Joxer in the back. They were not on the road long when Joxer and Autolycus were arguing.

Xena turned around. "Alright, what's going on?"

"He's pushing me!" whined Joxer.

"I am not!" responded Autolycus. "I wanted to see out of his window and I leaned over. That's all."

"Settle down!" Xena said.

Hercules tried to hide a smile as the arguing and whining continued.

Joxer leaned forward, "Are we almost there yet? I gotta go to the little boy's bush."

Xena sighed, "No, and you should have gone before we left. Just sit back and quiet down."

Autolycus quietly mimicked Joxer, "I gotta go to the little boy's bush." He snickered to himself.

"Xena!" Joxer whined.

"Quiet!! If I hear one more word, you'll wish you were back in ancient Greece!" Xena growled.

Hercules tried to hide his chuckle but Xena heard him and growled at him, "That goes for you too!"

The men fell silent and things were quiet for a while until Xena felt a tap on her shoulder. Looking around she discovered it was Joxer.

"What do you want, Joxer?" Xena sighed.

"Well, um, I really have to, um go." he mumbled.

"What?"

Joxer cleared his throat, "Uh, I have to go. You know? Little boy's bush?"

"Can't you hold it? We're almost at the airport. You can go there." Xena said.

"I really have to go now. I can't hold it anymore. Please?" Joxer asked.

"It's okay, there's a gas station up ahead. We'll stop there." Hercules said.

Hercules pulled into a gas station and stopped near the building. Joxer got out and ran to the bushes.

"Joxer, wait! You can't go there!" Hercules called.

He ran over to the station attendant and got the keys for the men's washroom. He waved Joxer over to the door of the washroom and opened it for him. Realizing that Joxer probably wouldn't know where to go, he entered with him and showed him the toilet. He closed the door as he left. Joxer emerged a few minutes later, a relieved look on his face.

"Autolycus, do you have to..." Xena turned and realized that Autolycus had already left the car and was walking towards the washroom. She got out of the car and stretched her legs. Joxer was walking back to the car and smiled. She smiled back and reached into the car for her purse.

"Kevin! I'm just going to get a drink for me and the guys. Want anything? Pop, chips?" Xena asked.

"Yeah. Get me a chocolate milk and some beef jerky." he replied.

She looked at him, "Beef jerky?"

He nodded, "Kind of reminds me of the old days."

She shrugged and went into the store, emerging a few minutes later with a bag full of junk food and sipping on a can of iced tea. She got into the car and started to pass things out as Hercules started the car and drove towards the airport. She passed Hercules the chocolate milk and beef jerky he asked for and gave Joxer and Autolycus a can of pop and a chocolate bar. For herself, she got can of iced tea and a muffin.

Joxer looked at the chocolate bar and opened the wrapping. He looked at the long brown bar and stared at Xena.

"Xena, you don't me to eat this thing do you? It looks like something you do in the bushes! I'm not going to eat it! UGH! It's melting in my hands!" Joxer said with disgust, his face scrunching up with revulsion.

"Joxer, eat it. I promise you will love it! It's like nothing you've ever had before! People eat these things all the time." Xena said.

"I notice you aren't eating any." Joxer replied sarcastically.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Xena reached back and grabbed the half-melted chocolate bar out of Joxer's hands and took a bite. Chewing, she looked at him as if to say 'see?'. Joxer took the chocolate bar and bit a little bit off the corner. As the chocolate melted on his tongue, Joxer's face lit up light a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. He stuffed the rest of the bar into his mouth and moaned in delight as the chocolate mixed with his spittle and ran down his face.

"Utterly disgusting!" Autolycus said. "Can't you eat like a human, instead of an animal? I've seen cows that have more manners than you." He looked at the can of pop confused. How do you open this thing? Hah! This is some sort of test I'll bet! Well, the king of thieves can open this! Which end is the top? Hmm. Must be this one, there's the opening sealed with more metal. What is the fascination with metal? Why can't they just use a goatskin? What was wrong with that? Hmm, maybe if I push it. Nope. He turned it over, then turned it over again.

Xena watched him thinking, Maybe I should warn him? Naw! Let him find out for himself! This is the ultimate get even for the times he conned Gabrielle and Joxer and the rest of us! I will show him the tab though. This is going to be fun!

"Autolycus, pull this little thing here. Yep, that's it. Just pull it." Xena leaned away from Autolycus and grinned.

Hercules glanced at her, perplexed and then he realized what she was planning.

"Autolycus, NO! Wait!" He yelled.

Too late. Autolycus had already started to pull the tab and it was too late to stop. A geyser of dark liquid sprayed the thief square in the face and drenched his shirt. Xena burst into laughter as Autolycus grimaced at the sticky liquid that was still foaming out of the can.

Joxer stared at the can he held in his hand and quickly dropped it. Looking at Autolycus though he couldn't hide a snicker.

"That's it! You just wait until we get back, Xena! I'm going to get even with you! What did I do to deserve this?" Looking across the seat at Joxer, he said, "Go ahead, laugh. Just wait! The king of thieves will have his revenge!"

Hercules looked in the rear-view mirror and tried to hide his snicker at the sight of the proud and arrogant king of thieves covered in soda pop. He failed. Turning back to the road, he saw that they were at the airport and drove to the main entrance. Parking the car, he got out and motioned for the rest of them to stay in the car.

"I'm going to find out where the terminal is." Looking at Autolycus he added, "I'm also going to get some towels or something to clean up this mess."

The three nodded and Hercules walked to the main doors. Autolycus looked down at the can he still held. He took a tentative drink and nearly dropped the can when something fizzled in his nose. He sneezed which shook the can and slopped a little more liquid out onto his pants. He sighed and looked dejectedly at Xena.

"I'm sorry, Autolycus. Really. Here let me help you clean some of this up." She took some paper towels that were in the glove compartment, handed some to Autolycus and used to the rest wipe up some of the puddles that were on the seat. She looked at Joxer and then at Autolycus.

"Joxer, could you give Autolycus your clothes?" Seeing his hesitation, she added, "You can wear your daisy shirt if you want?" Joxer brightened at this.

"Okay. Where can we change?" he asked.

"We'll wait until Hercules is back, then you can go to a washroom and change there." Xena replied.

"Daisy shirt? You're not serious are you? You actually bought him a shirt with flowers on it?" Autolycus said incredulously.

"He picked it out. He said it reminds him of Gabrielle." Xena said.

"It's a nice shirt!" Joxer said defensively.

Hercules returned to the car at that moment and climbed in. "We need to stop at a washroom so Autolycus can change. Is there one nearby?" Xena asked.

"I'm going to drive straight to the hanger where we'll be meeting our pilot. There should be one there. We'll be there in a few minutes." Hercules replied.

A loud roar filled the car and Joxer and Autolycus started at the familiar noise. They both looked out the rear window and saw a huge plane that seemed close enough to touch. They both ducked down in the seat with Xena and Hercules looking puzzled at the behavior.

"It's okay. It's just a plane. We'll be flying in one of those to get to Greece. They're safe. They won't hurt you." Xena tried to reassure the terrified men.

"That's what we'll be using to get to Greece?" Joxer asked. "No way! I'm not going in one of those things! One of those almost killed us on the boat with those two agents!"

"I'm not going in one either! If the gods had meant for us to fly, they would have given us wings! how can something that big fly?" Autolycus said.

Hercules pulled over again and stopped.

"Look, there isn't any other way to get to Greece quickly. This is the quickest way. Trust me. Have I ever let you down before?" Hercules asked.

Autolycus opened the door and got out. "Sorry folks, but this is where I get off. There is no way in Tartarus that you will get me in one of those things!" Autolycus said. "This is where I take my leave. Joxer, it's been nice, well, actually it hasn't been nice, but have a good trip back to Greece. I'm sure you'll enjoy it there. Herc, Xena have a nice eternal life. Good-bye all!"

With that he turned and realized that Xena was right in front of him, blocking his way. He tried to side-step to the right, then the left. She moved with him.

Sighing he said, "You haven't lost it, Xena, you've still got the moves. But I'm still not going on that plane!" Turning, he got back into the car and sulked. He glanced at Joxer and saw that the warrior wannabe looked as nervous as he was. Joxer was fidgeting and chewing on his nails, a sure sign that he was scared.

Hercules motioned to Xena to get out of the car. They walked a short way away from it and talked in a low tone.

"I thought this might happen." Hercules whispered. "Remember those pills that help you sleep? You had them in your luggage when I loaded the car last night. I hope you don't mind, but I took them out and have them in my pocket. You get back in the car and I'll go and pay the pilot and ask him to wait for us. Shouldn't take much more than about an hour to knock them out then we'll be on our way!"

"What happens if they wake up before we land? They'll never trust us again! How are you planning to get them to take the pills?" Xena asked.

"Don't worry. If they wake up while we're in the air, we'll deal with it then. As for how to get them to take the pills, I've got that covered. We'll just tell them we have to wait for the plane to refuel then we'll be taking off. We'll take them to a restaurant and give them some milk or something and then we'll wait." Hercules explained.

"Sounds okay. It might work. But the pills don't usually take effect right away. It usually takes about an hour or so before they kick in. We can't wait around here for an hour." Xena said.

"But you usually take only one pill and you're used to them. These guys haven't had anything like this before and if I give them two or three, they should be sleeping like babies in no time!" he explained.

Xena nodded and went back to the car. Getting in, she explained that Hercules will be back in no time, he was just talking to the pilot. Autolycus was still sulking and Joxer looked pretty scared. Hercules returned shortly and drove the car to a small restaurant where he parked.

"What are we doing here?" asked Joxer. "Does this mean that we aren't going to fly?"

"No stupid." Autolycus said sullenly. "It means that they are trying to distract us. They are planning to do something and don't want us to know what they plan to do."

Joxer looked at Xena and Hercules and then shook his head when neither would look in his eyes. Some friends! he thought.

"Look all we're going to do is have a drink and wait for the plane to be refueled. Why don't you drink your milk." Hercules said. "We'll be leaving shortly."

Joxer picked up his glass and started to sip the milk, when suddenly Autolycus grabbed the glass and prevented Joxer from drinking it. Joxer looked at Autolycus questionably and put the glass down.

"What is it?" Joxer asked.

"I think they put something in the milk. They're trying to drug us or something." Autolycus said, adding, "Aren't you?"

"We are not trying to drug you or anything. I thought it would be nice to have a glass of milk while we wait. Here I'll prove there's nothing in your milk. I'll drink some first. Okay?" Hercules said, sipping some of the milk. "There see? Nothing! You are paranoid Autolycus!"

Autolycus stared at Hercules suspiciously and slowly sipped a little bit of the milk, swirling it around his mouth trying to determine if there was anything that wasn't supposed to be there. Not tasting anything suspicious, he drank some more. Satisfied, he drank the rest and motioned to Joxer that it was alright.

"Would you like another one?" Xena asked.

Finishing his glass, Joxer said, "Yes! This was pretty good! It tastes different. Fresher or something. Do they milk the goats here?"

Xena laughed, "No, Joxer! They don't have any goats here! This isn't goats milk, it's cow's milk. It's fresh, not sour. They keep it cold so it stays fresh. It's also boiled to get rid of bugs and diseases."

"Boiled? They boil milk? And they keep it cold? How? Do they have a cold pit in the back? Or a river or stream?" Joxer asked.

"It's hard to explain. They have a big box that it kept cold. Why don't we get you some more milk first?" asked Xena.

"Okay. But no funny business! I'll be watching!" said Autolycus.

The milk arrived and Joxer and Autolycus drank it without the hesitation of the first glass. "I'm warning you. Nobody can pull the wool over my eyes!" Autolycus said smugly. "Yep! You have to get up pretty early to fool the king of thieves! How about something a little stronger? Don't they have rum or ale here? Hey Barmaid!"

"Autolycus, you can't drink right now. You can't have rum and then fly, something might happen." Xena said.

"If you drink and then get on a plane, you may get really sick. That's why we are all drinking milk." Hercules explained.

"No rum? Well, then I'll have another milk then, I guess." Autolycus grumbled.

After a few minutes, Joxer noticed he was getting pretty tired. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open. Autolycus felt the same.

"I think I want to take a nap now....." Joxer started to say and then fell forward on the table. Autolycus followed a few seconds after.

"How did you manage to do that? I didn't see you put anything into the milk. When did you do it?" asked Xena.

"I talked to the waitress when we came in and explained the situation. She recognized me and you right away and was more than willing to add a little something to their drinks. Thanks Marie! Here you go!" Hercules handed $100 to the waitress and got up. "I'll get the car. Wait here and I'll help you carry them out."

Xena grinned as she watched her friend leave the restaurant. Looking at Joxer and Autolycus, she still found it hard to believe that they were the real Joxer and Autolycus. Ted and Bruce looked pretty close, as close as she could find that is, but they were not the same. When Hercules started doing his movies, Xena really didn't think they would catch on. People wanted blood and guns, not swords and ancient gods.

At least that's what she thought. Now, with her own show and talk of a spin-off in the works, she was convinced that Hercules was right. Working with Ted and Bruce was a lot of fun and there were more than a few practical jokes played, but all in all, she still missed the real Joxer and Autolycus and Gabrielle. Her smile faded as she thought of the last time she saw her best friend.

They were travelling through Rome and they were attacked by a couple of Roman guards when Gabrielle tried to help a man who was being forced to carry a large wooden cross through the streets. It was very hot that day and the man was panting and obviously in desperate need of water. Gabrielle went to him and gave him some of the water from her water-skin. She took the cloth that was holding her hair and poured water over it and began to wipe his face. Xena could remember the tears that ran down her friend's face when she was helping the man, but then the guards came and shoved her back. They yanked the man to his feet and pushed him down the road, the crowd around was jeering and laughing at the man in his pain. Gabrielle was taken away, Xena never knew if she was crucified or simply taken out of the square and beaten. She never found out either, even though she devoted the next couple of years trying to find out. But nobody knew anything.

Hercules walked back into the restaurant and saw his friend with a familiar far-off look in her eyes. He knew that look, it happened every now and then, especially when a particularly tear-jerk episode was being worked on. He walked up to her and simply rested his hand on her shoulder. She slowly looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I wish I could know what happened to Gabrielle. I really miss her. Gods, I miss her!" Xena said, a tear rolling down her cheek. Hercules crouched beside her and held her, not saying a thing. He knew that was all she wanted. They had been through this before. A few minutes later, she composed herself and got up, nodding at Hercules.

She grabbed Joxer to carry him out and saw Hercules grab Autolycus. The doors were open so she put Joxer in and fastened his seat belt. Hercules did the same with Autolycus. They got in themselves and Hercules drove to the hangar where their plane was waiting for them.

The pilot looked at the man and woman strangely as they carried two men on board the small personal jet. One of the men was wearing a flowered shirt and a baseball hat. They looked vaguely familiar... Xena and Hercules! He was going to be flying Xena and Hercules to L.A.! Wow! Wait until the other flyboys hear about this! He really didn't want to fly today. He had just finished a business flight from Vancouver, Canada and he was tired. He thought if he simply quoted an outrageous price they would refuse and he could get the day off. No such luck. But if they were willing to pay $20,000 just for a flight to L.A. who was he to refuse? After all this was Hercules and Xena! Might as well help with the luggage. Make it look like he was actually going earn his pay. Normally he only charged $10,000 for that flight, but he wasn't going to turn down the extra cash.

Hercules and Xena loaded their companions onto the plane and helped with the luggage. When everything was ready, they settled into their seats, Xena next to Joxer and Hercules next to Autolycus. The plane taxied and took off after a short wait. In a couple of hours, and a little turbulence later, they arrived in L. A. The two ancient heroes unloaded their friends and luggage and hired a limo. Hercules gave the address to his home and they arrived as Joxer and Autolycus slowly woke up.

"Wha... where are we?" asked a sleepy Joxer.

"You're in Los Angeles. We're at my home to pick up a few things." said Hercules.

"Oh." said Joxer, then, after a pause he asked, "How did we get here?"

"Don't worry about that. We won't be here long." Hercules replied.

"They drugged us and put us on a plane. Didn't you?" Autolycus accused Hercules, glaring at him.

"Well, yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done that, but we needed you on the plane. Are you going to go on the plane in peace next time? Or do we have to go through this again?" Hercules asked.

"I'll think about it. Alright?" Autolycus said.

"Alright. I've got to go turn off the alarms, then we can have some lemonade or something and I can arrange a flight to Greece." Hercules said.

Hercules got out of the car and headed to the house. Well, we got them on the plane once. Can we do it again? Autolycus will not fall for the same trick twice. Joxer won't be a problem, he'll drink or eat anything we tell him to. It's Auto we'll have to fool. Slip it into his food? No, he'll be watching for that. Same with anything he drinks. Maybe Xena can think of something. We don't have to worry about right now, we'll work it out later. Reaching the house he turned off the alarms and walked back to the car to get his friends. An hour later, the four friends were seated at a patio sipping fresh lemonade and talking about old times.

"Do you remember that time when you and Gabrielle tried to put on play? What a disaster that was. I had to save your butts! Literally!" Xena laughed.

"Oh yeah? I still remember when you had lice and Gabrielle had scabies!" Joxer retorted.

"Yeah, and you gave everyone the stomach flu for days! You even took down an entire army! Those were the good old days." Xena replied. "Joxer, I need you to do something for me when you get back."

"Xena! No, you can't do that. You can't give him knowledge of the future, you know that. You could change everything." Hercules warned.

"Sending him back after he's seen us here and now has already changed the future! I need to know the truth about Gabrielle. Hercules, I've got to know!" Xena pleaded.

"You're right. Unfortunately, he already knows too much. They both do. Fine go ahead. But don't tell him too much!" Hercules warned.

"What do mean about the truth with Gabrielle? What happened? I'll help if I can." Joxer said.

"I promise to tell you everything on one condition. You agree to go on the plane willingly. Deal?" Xena asked.

"Yeah, okay. I agree. Now what happened? How can I help?" Joxer asked.

Xena explained what happened the last time she saw Gabrielle. "I don't know what happened to her. I want you to keep track of us, especially her. Write it down and leave the scroll in the cave I'll show you when we get in Greece. Can you do this?" Xena asked.

Joxer looked down. "Who was this guy? The one she tried to help. What was so special about him? I don't know Gabrielle as long as you do, but I know she wouldn't get involved with a Roman prisoner unless there was good reason. Why did she do it? Did you guys know him or something?" Joxer asked.

"We know who he is now. At the time neither of us knew him. He was a great man. He performed healings and miracles. I remember people saying that he turned water into wine! When we saw him, he was forced to carry his own cross and was going to be crucified. Gabrielle felt sorry for him and wanted to comfort him. Anyway, I never saw her again after they took her away. It's been on my conscience since then. I need you to find out where they took her. Please?" Xena asked.

Joxer looked into Xena's eyes and saw the pain and anguish hiding there. How could he refuse? He loved Xena as the sister he never had. It hurt him to see the pain and sorrow and desperation on her face.

"I'll do it. I promise not to let you down, Xena." Joxer vowed. I'll make sure they never go to Rome, even if I have to die to prevent it! I won't let whatever happened to Gabrielle happen while I'm around. I'll protect her whatever it takes! he swore to himself.

"Thank-you!" Xena reached across the table and hugged him.

"Well, I'd better try to get a flight for Greece." Hercules said. "Is anybody hungry?"

At the possibility of food, Joxer licked his lips. "Sure! I could go for something." Joxer said.

"Just a small snack would be nice, I think. Thank-you." Xena said.

"Same as Xena." Autolycus said.

Hercules nodded and disappeared into the house. An hour later he emerged with a plate of finger sandwiches and news about a flight.

"We can leave this evening and be in Greece in the morning. That okay?" Hercules asked.

"Perfect!" said Xena. "That gives us some time to rest and relax before we leave."

The friends relaxed and napped the rest of the day and at seven o'clock they were ready to leave for the airport. They left the house and drove the busy roads to the airport. Joxer and Autolycus were both amazed at how little the women in this time wore. One woman only wore a little piece of cloth over each breast and another tiny piece to hide her womanhood. Joxer averted his eyes, Autolycus eyed her appreciatively.

Joxer wished he was back in his own time, women didn't wear anything like this! Small children were permitted to play with little or nothing on, but not full-grown adults. Did these people have no self respect? This was embarrassing, not only to himself but to the people who were dressed like that. Even the bar-maids and prostitutes of his time wore more than that.

When the four friends arrived at the airport, Autolycus was as stubborn as before.

"I'm not going to get on the plane! I'm not going to eat anything. I'm not going to drink anything. Nothing you can say will get me on that plane. Good-bye! Have a good trip! And don't try anything, I'm watching you." he said and backed away, watching Xena and Hercules closely.

Xena and Hercules got out of the car and raised their hands to show they were empty. Autolycus kept backing away smiling and watching the two closely. He didn't notice that Joxer was behind him until it was too late. Joxer swung a thick branch at the back of Autolycus' head and watched as the king of thieves slid to the ground and collapsed, unconscious, on the pavement.

"Good job, Joxer!" Xena said. "I figured he'd be watching Herc and I, but I didn't think he'd bother with you! Thanks."

Joxer and Hercules supported Autolycus between them and carried him onto the plane, explaining that he had a little too much to drink before he got there. The stewardesses smiled and nodded. They'd seen this before. Xena put Autolycus in the window seat and slid in next to him. Joxer sat beside Hercules and clutched the seat with white knuckles. Hercules smiled and spoke some encouraging words to the young man. In the seat ahead of them, a little girl peeked over and smiled.

"Hi. That's a pretty shirt. Is this your first time on a plane?" she asked.

Joxer didn't understand and Hercules translated for him. Joxer nodded, miserably.

"It's okay. My name is Katie, actually it's Katherine Anne Ellis, but everyone just calls me Katie. What's your name?" the girl asked.

Hercules translated and Joxer responded with his name and gave a smile that faltered as the engines started up.

"It's okay. Would you like me to sit by you? I can hold your hand while we take off." she asked. She looked at Hercules, questioningly. He nodded and they switched seats quickly. "My mom used to hold my hand when I first started flying and now I can take off all by myself! Flying is fun! It's kind of like a roller coaster ride!" Katie said. "Here we go! OW! Don't squeeze so hard! There that's better. Look out the window, see? We're in the air now! Isn't this fun?"

"It's so smooth! Are we really flying? WOW! Look at the ground! Look at those tiny buildings." Joxer exclaimed.

Hercules translated for the two for a while longer, Hercules told the girl that he needed to talk to his companion. The little girl said good-bye and waved as she went back to her seat. Joxer smiled and waved back.

Xena smiled as she watched the little girl with Joxer. Figures! she thought. It takes a little girl to convince Joxer that flying is really not so bad. Looking over at Autolycus, she thought, Wonder what it will take for him? A beautiful woman? She closed her eyes a moment and noticed that there was some movement next to her. Looking at Autolycus, she noticed that he had come to and was looking around, trying to figure out where he was. He looked out the window and gave a yelp of surprise. She quickly glanced around the plane to see if anyone was watching her, seeing no one was, she rammed her elbow upward to hit his jaw and succeeded in knocking him out again. Then looking around quickly again, she pretended to fuss with her hair and clothes.

"Sorry, Auto. But I can't have you getting hysterical on the plane. I'll make it up to you later. I promise." she whispered.

Hercules suggested they get some sleep as it was going to be a long flight and it would be early morning before they reached Greece. The three conscious friends agreed and after Xena looked at Autolycus again to make sure he was going to stay asleep for a while, they settled down for the night.

They were awakened by the stewardess early in the morning, just before they were to land in Greece. Xena looked at Autolycus and saw he was still asleep, but she wasn't sure for how much longer. A short while later the plane was landed and she breathed a sigh of relief. They got off the plane and made arrangements for a rental car. The four friends were soon on their way to a spot that Xena and Hercules agreed upon.

"Oh! My jaw!" Autolycus moaned, then he glared at Xena. "Alright, what happened? I want the truth! Where are we? Greece! I'd recognize this place anywhere! Good! Now that you got me back, I'll be on my merry way."

"Hold it! You're in Greece, but you're still in our time, not yours. We're going to stop in a small town and get some breakfast. Then Xena is going to show us the cave she was talking about earlier and then we're going to send you guys home. Sound okay?" Hercules asked, looking Joxer and Autolycus.

"Yeah, okay. But no more hitting or drugs or nothing. Deal?" asked Autolycus.

"Why would we have to drug you now? We got you in Greece. The hard part is over. You'll be back in your own time in time for dinner!" Xena said. "Joxer, if you find Gabrielle and myself, you might be able to join us. If Gabrielle's not in a bad mood. You remember how she can be."

Joxer nodded and smiled at the thought of having dinner with Gabrielle that night. They headed into the small town and had some fresh fruit and yogurt for breakfast and looked around the village. People looked at Joxer with some amusement at his colourful shirt. As it grew later in the day, they decided that it was time for the two time-travellers to go back. They stopped at a restaurant so that Joxer and Autolycus could change back into their regular clothes. They got back into the car and Xena drove as they left the city and drove them directly to a cave hidden by shrubs and long grasses.

"Here it is Joxer. I know this was around in your time as well so there should be no problem sending you back here. Remember, when you find out what happens to Gabrielle..." Xena began.

"I know, I know! Write it down and put it in the cave. I understand!" Joxer said. Then he sighed and looked at Xena, "I'm going to miss you! I know that you're torn about Gabrielle but you seem to be more at peace with yourself in this time than any other time that I have known you in the past. Thank-you for your help! I'll always remember this."

"Joxer, just remember to be yourself! That's the only way she'll open her heart to you." Xena said, tears beginning to form in the corner of her eyes. "Oh, Joxer, I'll miss you! Good luck!"

"Well, this has been an interesting cruise. I'd like to say it's been swell, but somehow I don't think that being drugged and hit in the back of the head constitutes a pleasant visit. Anyway, thank-you for your help. Good-bye. Good-luck. Let's go! I have business I need to get back to. Nice to see you again Xena, you too, Hercules." Autolycus said.

"I've never really been good at good-byes, so... good-bye, good-luck. When you get back, you should find a small village to the north of here. Xena and Gabrielle were staying there while you two were on the 'Titanicus' and you should find them in the local tavern." Hercules said.

"Gabrielle was entertaining the locals with stories of our adventures and was trying to earn some extra money as well." Xena explained.

"Autolycus, I'm going to miss you as well. I'm sorry for the rough treatment, but it was for your own good. Could you forgive me?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're forgiven. Can we go now?" Autolycus said impatiently. Hercules nodded and turned around and looked at Xena. She shook her head and approached Autolycus.

"What's going on? Hey! What are you doing? Xena! You promised!" he protested. She grabbed his arms and tied them behind his back, using several different knots to ensure that it would hold. "Aw, Xena! What did you do that for?"

"That is to ensure that you don't take the chronos stone from Joxer when you two get back." she explained.

"Oh, please! The chronos stone was destroyed! Hercules crushed it! Herc, tell her! Look, I promise not to take whatever it is away from Joxer. Now will you let me go, please?" he pleaded.

"It's either this or we knock you out again. Which do you want?" Hercules asked.

"Alright, let's go. You realize of course that the king of thieves can get out of this? No rope or lock can hold the king of thieves!" Autolycus declared.

Hercules brought out a beautiful clear stone that glowed with a warm light. Autolycus stared at it and worked furiously at the knots holding his arms and hands tight. Hercules put the stone into Joxer's shaking hands and showed him how to use it. Joxer nodded and swallowed nervously. He came closer to Autolycus and knelt so he could touch the restrained man's shoulder. He activated the stone and watched as the world seemed to lose shape and quickly closed his eyes as it seemed that colours melted and ran together before his eyes.

Autolycus felt the energy of the stone rush through him and braced himself as he saw different scenes played out in high speed reverse. He looked at Joxer and saw that he had closed his eyes and had gone paler than usual. Looking back on the scenes played out before him, he saw wars with weapons he had never seen before, lovers doing what came naturally, duels, murders, children, and many other things as the stone reversed history before his eyes. He had gone through this before, although it was a much shorter trip. Last time it was with Hercules and they had activated the stone by accident.

Joxer opened his eyes again and felt nauseated at the different scenes being played so fast he could barely see what was happening before it changed. He looked at Autolycus hoping for some clue as to when he could stop this crazy ride through time. He was looking at the field in front of the cave entrance when he saw two people he knew. He stopped the stone. Did he go too far? Looking around wildly he gave a sigh of relief when he saw them still walking slowly, the younger one bending over to pick the occasional flower. They were headed to the village in the north. He helped Autolycus to his feet and helped him walk to the village. It was getting dark when they got there and they headed to the tavern.

Autolycus was still working on his bonds and had almost succeeded in getting loose when they arrived at the tavern. Joxer pulled him inside and paused at the door to look for the two they had been following. They saw the young one with the flowers she had picked in her hair, in the back of the tavern with a large audience in front of her listening to her speak. They laughed at something she said and then grew quiet again. Joxer caught her eye and she paused as she acknowledged him, and then continued on with her story. Joxer looked for the one who was travelling with the young one and saw her sitting to the side, alone.

They made their way over to the table where she was sitting and sat down. She looked up at them scowling and then, once she saw who it was, brightened and smiled. Although not as attractive as her younger friend, she was still beautiful in her own way.

"Joxer, Autolycus, what are you doing here? What happened to your job on the 'Titanicus'? I thought you were supposed to be working for a couple of months?" the dark-haired woman asked.

"Xena! I am so glad to see you. I mean, um, I missed travelling with you and Gabrielle and, um, I was hoping to join you for a while." Joxer said.

"I've got something for you, Xena. Sort of a thank-you gift, you might say." Autolycus said, wriggling free of the last of the ropes that had been holding him. Pulling something out of his pocket, he handed it to Xena with a broad smile. Joxer gasped as he realized what it was that Autolycus had brought back with them.

"Thank-you. Uh, what is it? Where did you get this? I've never seen anything like it." she said as she turned the strange metal container over and looked at it from all sides.

"Oh, it holds sweet water. It's from a land far from here. It's very rare. It's supposed to be a puzzle, you have to try and figure out how to open it. I know how of course, being the king of theives and all. Go ahead, it's a lot of fun!" Autolycus grinned and leaned back.

Xena turned the strange object over and over in her hands and decided that the top was the side with the funny looking ring and the outline of a hole. It reminded her of an Egyptian tomb, sealed from thieves.

She shook it to no avail and finally looked at the ring. She touched it and tried to pull it and found that it did move so she tried a little harder and was rewarded with a faceful of liquid and an earful of laughter as both Joxer and Autolycus were rolling on the floor, tears streaming from their eyes. The object continued to foam and dripped onto her lap. She was covered with a sticky sweet liquid that was in her hair and on her leather outfit and was still dripping on her bare legs. She glared at Autolycus and stood up and dumped the rest of the liquid down his shirt. Joxer laughed harder and was doubled up in pain. Xena glared at the two of them and stomped out of the tavern. Autolycus wiped the tears from his eyes and climbed back into his chair. Joxer did the same.

"Oh, that was good! Nothing else even comes close! She's going to have to really clean her leather before that stuff will come out. Did you see the expression on her face? That was priceless!" Autolycus was so absorbed in reliving his joke that he didn't notice the bar had quieted and the patrons were slowly moving away from him, including Joxer. Nor did he notice that Xena was right behind him holding a large bucket with something in it.

Xena was furious. That little joke that Autolycus played was going to take forever to get out of her armor. She didn't know why he did it, but she did know that she was going to get even. She got a large bucket, the largest she could find in town, and went to the pig sty. She was going to need a bath anyway after what Autolycus did, so she got right into the middle of the sty and got as much of the pig droppings that she could fit into the bucket and walked back to the tavern grinning. She walked right up the steps and into the door where she stopped. Almost everyone saw her. Everyone, that was except Autolycus, her prey. Walking as slowly and quietly as she could, she approached the table where he was sitting and still laughing like a hyena and stood behind him. Holding the bucket over his head, she called him softly.

"Oh, Autolycus! I've got a present for you! I picked it out just for you!" As Autolycus was turning around in his chair, she dumped the entire bucket of pig droppings on him. The look of horror and shock on his face was well worth the bath she was going to have to take and the oils she would have to buy to get rid of the smell.

Gabrielle saw Joxer and Autolycus walk in and noticed that Autolycus was walking funny. She'd smiled and nodded, noticing that they were sitting with Xena. Great! That meant that she would have to listen to more of Joxer's bravado and might have to listen to that stupid song of his. I thought he was working on a ship? Why is he here? And why did he bring Autolycus? she thought. She liked Autolycus, a lot, and wished that he would pay her the same attention he does to Xena. It was obvious that he had fallen for Xena, although it was equally obvious that Xena had not fallen for him. Something was wrong with this scene.

Autolycus didn't like Joxer, but here it seemed that they were getting along like old friends. He gave Xena something. She couldn't see what it was, but she knew that Xena would show her later. She was trying to hurry the story along so she could sit with her friends when she saw Xena stand up, wet with some kind of dark, foaming liquid. Xena stomped out of the tavern, probably going to get a bath or something. She looked over at Joxer and Autolycus and saw that they were laughing hysterically. What happened? Oh, well. She'd find out in a few minutes, when she finished her story. She was just finishing up when she saw Xena come it still wet and now smelling of pig dung. She was holding a bucket full of the dark stuff. Xena walked over to where Autolycus was sitting and stopped holding the bucket high over his head. She noticed that the tavern was quiet and everyone had moved away from the table, including Joxer. Xena said something quietly then dumped the bucket over Autolycus' head. The look of sheer horror and shock on the man's face was something Gabrielle would not soon forget.

A few hours later, when Xena and Autolycus had cleaned up, the four friends sat at a table and enjoyed the friendship and camaraderie that went along with good friendship. Just before they broke up for the night, Joxer pulled something out of a pouch and looked at it.

"I found something and I thought you should have it." Joxer said. He put the stone on the table in front of Xena. The two time-travellers looked at the stone with mixed feelings. Joxer was glad to be rid of it. The stone, indifferent to the feelings of the ones watching it, sat on the table and glowed a warm light.

The End.