Author: Gail
Pairing: Harmon Rabb/Clayton Webb
Rating: NC-17 (to be safe)
Summary: The morning after Rabb and Webb talk and have sex.
Archive: yes to Jagslash, Querstrich, RSA, CKOS, WWOMB. All others, please ask me first.
Email: gem225@hotmail.com
Series: Part 4 in the Eclipse series
Web Page: Mareen's Den, at: http://www.fortunecity.de/lindenpark/vogelweide/216/main.htm
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. And I'll be very careful playing with them.
This is another story that Katja made me write in a message...but I knew I'd have to find out what happened after that night, even though I really didn't want to. Mareen and Katja were my betas, and wonderful ones, too. And Tinnean had some very strong opinions on this one, all of which made me happy.
By Gail
*********
For someone who threatened me with death last night if I left without talking to him, he certainly is quiet now. He sits beside me at the counter and looks at me every other sip, then back down at his coffee or out the window, anywhere but my face. I don't know what he's waiting for, or if he's having second thoughts and wants me gone. I would imagine Harmon Rabb has had to get rid of unwanted overnight guests before. It shouldn't be that hard for him.
When he looks at me again I decide that it's time to stop this.
"What do you want from me, Harm?" I'm exasperated enough to ask.
He looks away. "I can't have a relationship with a man, Clayton. You know that. It's out of the question. But I want you."
"Then you have a problem." I deliberately put it that way. I know that I want him, and I'm willing to take some risks to make that happen. If he isn't, then that's it.
"And you don't?" He's angry again. "What would the CIA say about this?"
"They wouldn't be thrilled, but then they're not going to find out," I snap back. "I know enough to be cautious. Do you?"
"It's not that easy," he says quietly. "I..." His voice trails off. "I do want to be with you, Clayton. But we are going to have to be very, very careful."
He's actually going to try this. I keep my face as under control as I can manage. And then I hear Clark Palmer's voice as he tells me that he finds everything about me interesting. He wants me. Why can't Harm be that direct? But he can't, and I'm going to have to live with that.
"We'll be careful. I want you, too," I say as strongly as I can, but he just sighs and doesn't seem to hear me.
"This is insane," he mutters.
I set down my coffee cup and stand. Yes, insane is the word for this. "Fine, Harm. I'm not going to make you. I'll go, we'll never talk about this again, and you'll be safe. Is that what you really want?" I don't want to go, but damn, he has to want this. It's going to be hard enough to carry on an affair without him going back and forth all the time. I don't have the time for that kind of game, and I don't think I have the strength, either.
He stands, too. "No. Sit down, Clayton, damn you. I was just thinking out loud."
I sit when he does. I'm angry, but I still want him. Damn this.
He's leaning toward me, putting off that Harmon Rabb magnetism. "Clayton, we'll work something out. But you can't want someone around all the time, either. Right?"
"No, Harm, I don't." I don't know if that's the truth or not, but it's what he wants to hear.
He's smiling. "Then we don't have a problem."
For someone who's supposed to be intelligent, he doesn't always act that way. But then I'm not being that smart myself. I should be standing up for what I want, but it's just too much trouble with him. I never have any luck saying no to Harmon Rabb, and it's becoming clear that he sees this as a sometime thing.
Well, can't hurt to ask. "So how do you see this going?" I keep my question neutral. I never expected to send out invitations to a 'wedding', no matter what Clark said, but I would like to know where I stand. And I do have hopes for more than a one-night stand, or even two. I'd like a lot more than that, actually.
He gives me a look of surprise. "Clayton, we'll have to see what happens. I'm sure there'll be times when we want to spend time together, but we're both busy men." His eyes flicker away. "And I'm not going to give up seeing women."
I do not say a word. There's a pain in my chest, and all I want to do is get out of there and make it go away. Finally I can speak. "I'm not asking you to," I say, and it comes out calm and strong.
"What about you? You really don't like to sleep with women?" He's curious.
I sigh. "I like women, Harm. I haven't slept with one in a while, but I certainly wouldn't turn down one I was attracted to." I just don't get attracted that much, but that's not something I feel like getting into with him. Clark would understand wanting the person and not the body, I think unexpectedly. I know that much about him. He wants me.
I shake my head to get rid of that thought. "I am hoping that we can find time for each other." That comes out strong, too. Doing all right here.
He smiles. "I'm sure we will." And then he's leaning over to kiss me. Damn. Surprise attack. His lips are warm and part when I probe with my tongue and I suddenly don't care that he thinks he wants women. I'll show him just how good a man can be.
He's flushed when he breaks the kiss, and I know I am, too. "We've got time," he murmurs.
Damn, I want him. "The bed?" I suggest.
He grins. "Just what I was thinking."
We get up together and I'm glad that I don't have anything until nine, and that I'm only wearing my pants and shirt. I wouldn't want to get out of the suit again. I start unbuttoning my shirt.
He's out of his clothes and is getting comfortable on the bed, his hand snaking around his cock. He's already hard, I see as I get out of my shirt and start on my pants. God, I want him so much. But I don't know what he'll let me do. What he'll let me do. This is still about what he wants. Damn him.
He interrupts my thoughts by reaching out to take my wrist and pull me down on the bed. I'm glad that he waited until I was undressed.
"That's better," he says with a laugh and gets a grip on my cock instead. I moan and feel the blood rush in even more. I am so hard. "I want to watch you come, Clayton. It's amazing how your face gets."
His fingers keep stroking me, and now I've got a hand on him, stroking him at the same time. His face is pretty damned fascinating, too. He's panting, his lips are wet and I can't look away. This man, here, with me.
I have to find a way to keep him.
He lets out a long, loud moan and I realize that I'm making some noise myself and then he's arching up into my hand and screaming and I'm trembling and thrusting myself and then I'm coming, oh, yes, coming with Harmon Rabb. This is wonderful.
I fall back on the bed, take a moment to catch my breath and let myself enjoy it, just drift in the glow and happiness I feel. I know that I'm going to have to get up at some point, leave this place and Harm and go deal with whatever's waiting for me at the Company, something I will not think about now, since it's probably something about Palmer, but right now Harm is lying next to me, his hand flung out and brushing up against my side, and I'm happy. I close my eyes and breathe. I could stay here forever.
"Damn," he says suddenly and is off the bed by the time I get my eyes open. I stare at him. What? "I've got to get going."
I blink and watch him move quickly around the apartment, retrieving his coffee, disappearing into the bathroom, getting into his uniform this time. It's like I'm not even here.
Before he can get out the door, he stops and looks at me. Really looks. "I'm sorry, Clay. I get like this."
"It's all right," I say quietly. "I'm sure I'll get used to you over time." I smile to show him that I'm not upset.
"The door locks behind you. Stay as long as you like." He smiles. "But you must have to get going, too, right?"
"Right. How about dinner tonight?"
He stops at the door. "Let me think about it, all right? I'll get back to you."
He's out before I can do more than nod. I close my eyes. I don't think he'll even remember he said that. He was gone. This really isn't what I wanted. But it's what I've got. I have to remember that. It'll get easier. He'll find out it's good with me.
I wish I really believed that.
I make myself stand and start for the bathroom for a quick wash. I have time to go home, and I think I will. It's no good staying here without him, and I'm sure I'll be here again, as long as I do what he wants.
And I know that I will, if it gets me him.
The End