Title: You Can Find Anything In Chinatown....

Author: BuffyAngel68

e-mail: vg68@msn.com

Fandom: Sentinel/Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues.

Rating: G

Category: Adventure/Drama

Summary: In response to the "Naomi is a latent guide" discussion.

X-over Sentinel/Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues. AU that branches off just before 'Redemption', the two part finale of the first season. Peter discovers he may have a destiny far removed from what he believes. Did his father know all along?

You Can Find Anything In Chinatown....
By BuffyAngel68

"C'mon, Pop. I'm late for work as it is. I gotta go..."

"Be late."

"I can't. One more time this month an' I won't have a job to be late for."

"That would not be an altogether bad thing. Then you would have time for your studies."

"Yeah, an' no food in my refrigerator. I have to go. I'm sorry."

"You must stay. This is more important. Something is coming."

"That's what you said yesterday, and the day before that, *and* the day before that. Nothing's happened yet."

"Perhaps whatever it is.... is simply waiting for you to begin paying attention."

"Cute. Look, if this... big important thing wants to find me so bad, it can come to the station, okay? Bye, Pop."

"Peter."

Halfway to the door, Peter Caine halted in his tracks. Years after their separation, and despite having been back in each others lives less than a year, the son still responded automatically to the commanding tone of the father's voice.

"Pop...."

"Peter, you must listen. I speak not as your father but as your teacher."

"I don't want a teacher, I don't want any part of that world. That's not who I am anymore. What I *want* is to live my life.... my way."

"You have made that clear time and again, but being a.... police officer is a life you chose. You refuse to see that you may yet be chosen for something else. Something much the same.... and also very different."

"You keep talking about my destiny..... As far as I'm concerned, destiny can take a flying leap into the shallow end of a swimming pool."

"Denying that your life is meant for a.... greater purpose.... will change nothing."

"I'm a cop, that's my purpose. Why can't you get..... never mind. I have to get going. Say hi to Destiny for me when it gets here. Tell it I'm bringin' home pizza for dinner if it feels like meetin' me at my place around seven."

"Peter, please...."

"Forget it, okay? I'm going to work now. I'll call you tonight."

As he opened the door to his father's dojo and stepped outside, Peter winced slightly and pulled back for a moment.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. You keep it so dark in here, opening the door is like lookin' straight at a spotlight. Talk to you after work. Bye."

Caine watched the door shut behind his son, sighed and gazed sadly at the floor.

"He has been without you for many years, Kwai-Chang Caine." the Ancient said from behind him. "In that time his mind has been re-shaped..... his heart closed. He cannot adjust or accept so many new thoughts as quickly as you might wish. He will understand.... in time."

"He does not have time. Have you not felt it?"

"I have felt.... something. A new turn in the path, perhaps.... but decided on long ago. It is difficult to see clearly."

"I am afraid for my son, Lo-Si. A change is coming for him..... but he is not ready."

"He is stubborn.... like his father. You have done all you could in the short time you were given. You tried."

"I have not tried hard enough...."

"If you never release a child's hand, he never discovers that his legs already know how to walk. Step back, my friend. Stay near enough to catch him if he falls.... but step back."

Eyes slightly clouded, seeming to look inward in examination of his own heart, Caine merely nodded, turned and slowly made his way past his old friend into the rear of the building, knowing he needed to prepare for the class that would soon be streaming through his doors.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Okay, Pete. This has gone on long enough." Skelany admonished her friend as she strolled up and perched on the edge of his desk.

"What? What are you talkin' about?"

"When are you going to do something about your hangover instead of making me sit over there, watching you suffer?"

"Hangover? You're nuts. I spent last night at my father's place. The hardest thing he keeps around is a little rice wine, for God's sake."

"Really? Must I point out the obvious symptoms of overindulgence? Let's see; shades on inside the squad room, acting like an M-80 went off in your boxers every time a door slams.... You have a hangover. My famous cure is in my desk drawer. I can go get it...."

"I am not hung-over so shove your V-8 an' pureed habanero peppers where it'll hurt the most!"

"Cranky, too I see. Fine. I was just trying to help. I'll leave you alone..."

"Wait. I'm... sorry, okay? This has nothing to do with booze. I think I'm comin' down with somethin'. If they'd put the lights in here on a dimmer and make everybody else go home or shut up, I'd be a hell of a lot happier...."

Cautiously, fearing that in his present mood all she'd get for her gesture of comfort was more anger, Skelany placed the back of one hand on Peter's forehead. Though he grunted in disgust, he allowed it to stay until she chose to remove it.

"You could be right. Engine's running a little hot. You need to go let Blaisdell know..."

"You really are out of your mind! I practically had to beg on my hands an' knees just to get assigned to the Revelle stake-out tomorrow an' I am *not* lettin' that chance go in the dumpster just because I have a touch of.... whatever."

"Yeah, well there are gonna be other cops on the stake-out with you who don't want your whatever anymore than you do."

"I take it back. I'm not sick. I can't be sick. It's the stress boostin' my metabolism, that's all."

"Stress? This has been the slowest week in history. What stress?"

"The stake-out, for one. Plus, when I finally get a major bust like this on the horizon, my father's on my back day and night. 'You can't go to work. Stay here.' he says. 'Something's coming' he says, but the more it *doesn't* show up, the more antsy he gets an' the more crud I hear about my destiny. 'You're meant for a greater purpose' he says. I'm a cop. That's a damn good purpose, but can he see that? Noooo...."

"When will I learn not to ask leading questions? All I ever do is wind you up tighter...."

"I'm gonna head down to the weight room. See if I can blow off some steam."

"Good idea. Really good idea...."

Just as Peter reached the head of the stairs to the lower level, he paused, eyes wide and one foot frozen in mid-air. "Pete? What's wrong?" Skelany asked, moving to his side. "C'mon, Peter. Talk to me. You okay?"

Finally breaking out of his shocked stupor, Peter gripped his friend's arm tightly and began to back away, dragging her with him and hissing frantically in her ear.

"You tellin' me you don't see that?!"

"See what? All I see is the stairs."

"The panda, damn it! It's right...."

Raising its eyes, the immense and beautiful animal gazed intently at Peter for a long moment, almost as if it were trying to communicate, then turned and shambled away, vanishing as mysteriously as it appeared.

"Right where, Pete? There's no panda. Nothing but empty air. That's it. You go get your stuff. I'm driving you home personally then I'm locking you in..."

"Huh? No, I'm okay now."

"Maybe having hallucinations is okay in your book, but in mine it means you're in serious need of either medical attention or sleep. Probably both in your case...."

"I am not! And I didn't hallucinate. At least I don't think....."

"Unless the zoo has set up a branch on the first floor of the station, trust me, you did. Now, go get your jacket so I can drive you home." She repeated, pushing him back toward his desk.

"I said no. I'm not givin' up the stakeout! Busts like this come once, maybe twice in a career. Maybe I am comin' down with a cold or something, but I'm gonna be there tomorrow night if I have to bring a doctor, a nurse or the whole damn pharmacy with me!"

Skelany sighed, knowing he meant every word and would vehemently deny anything unusual happened if she forced the issue and took it to their Captain.

"Okay. I surrender, but only until this stakeout is done. Then you better take a few sick days or I'll tell him what just happened."

"Blaisdell'd never believe you."

"Not Blaisdell. Your father."

"You wouldn't dare...."

"Try me."

Abandoning a stare down he knew he'd never win, Peter's shoulders slumped and he glowered at Skelany.

"Fine. You win. After we bust this bunch of scumbags, I'll take a couple personal days."

"Don't make it sound like such a sacrifice, Pete. I mean you've only got, what, a hundred and fifty stored up?"

"Don't go away mad, Skelany, just go away."

"Yeah, yeah. You keep your promise or I'll be on Caine's doorstep before you can blink."

Staring furiously after her, Peter dropped back into his desk chair, no longer possessed of the energy to head downstairs and work out. Shoving insistent worries back down to the bottom of his mind, he slammed the ironbound door, locked it and tossed the key into an imaginary mental moat, hoping the monsters there would swallow it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THAT EVENING

Seated on the roof of his dojo, Kwai-Chang Caine sipped a steaming cup of tea and studied the stars. For once it was a relatively clear night and he was taking advantage of the rare gift to soothe his own restless and troubled spirit. Here, in the heart of the city, the lights normally blotted out what the pollution did not, but on the roof, above most of the noise and neon, he could at least view a little of the night's beauty and employ the relative peace to calm himself until he was able to hear the voice of his soul speaking it's wisdom to him.

When the door opened behind him, Caine sighed softly, carefully set his tea on the gravel beside him and waited for the intruder to speak.

"Master?"

"Yes, Jamie. What is it?"

"There's a visitor downstairs. I asked her to wait in the office. She says it's urgent she talk to you right away."

"It has begun then. Or perhaps only continues...."

"What was that, Master?"

"Thoughts, young one. Do not concern yourself." Caine told the young girl waiting for him by the stairs. Rising to his feet he retrieved his tea cup and joined her. They walked down the stairs together.

"Do you need me to stay, Master? I can if that's what you want..."

"No, child. Go home and study for your mathematics examination."

"Math? I hate math, Master, you know that. I'm no good at it."

"You do not wish to be.... good at it. When you first began your study with me, you were often frustrated and discouraged. After only six months you have become one of my most promising students. Success follows will."

"I guess you're right."

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Caine favored her with a much milder version of the correctional love taps he often gave his son.

"Do not guess. Choose.... then proceed. Go home and study."

"Okay. Night, Master."

"Good-night, Jamie."

Caine watched the teenager gather her things and leave then moved into the small office off to the side of the main room of the dojo and greeted his visitor.

"I am Caine. How may I help you?"

"Naomi Sandburg. Thank you so much for agreeing to see me. I realize it's late, but the train from Washington was delayed and it took forever to find my bags...."

"I... understand. Please. Sit. You wish to... ask something of me."

"In a way.... I have some questions.... about myself and my son. I was told you might be able to answer them for me."

"Perhaps. Ask... and we will see."

PETER'S APARTMENT: AN HOUR OR SO LATER

Tangled in his sweat dampened sheets, Peter thrashed and flailed, caught in a dark vision that was part memory and part nightmare.

% I'm frightened, father.

That is part of the purpose of this journey. You will face your fears and overcome them.

I can't survive three days without food or water. I can't....

You can if you have paid attention to the lessons I and the others have offered you. All you require for sustenance of body, mind and spirit exists here in this forest. Go now.

Father....

No. You would continue with your training, would you not?

You know I want to.

Then you must endure this before you can move forward. Deprivation and isolation are sometimes essential, Peter, in order to clearly hear your own inner voice... as well as that of the universe. I love you, my son. Go.%

"Nooo.... please.... father, no.... don't make me go.... I'll get lost... I'll never find you again...."

Abruptly, Peter awoke from the dream, tears running freely down his face, stunned that he could ever have forgotten those terrifying and amazing three days he'd spent in the woods a few miles north of the temple. After a few minutes spent trying to slow his frantic breathing and sponging his forehead and cheeks dry with tissues, he slid out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen. He retrieved a beer from the fridge, took it back to the living room and dropped onto the couch, certain he wasn't going to sleep any more that night, but uncertain what to do about it.

+++++++++++++++++++

"Yes. I have heard of this." Caine told Naomi Sandburg. "There is not a word for it in my language. They are great warriors..... exceedingly rare among all beings."

"Oh, that's a perfect description of Jim." Naomi chuckled. "There isn't another one like him in the world. I'd bet my last nickel on it."

"These warriors..... they are not what you wanted to ask me about."

"Perceptive. We call the warriors Sentinels, but I'm actually more interested in the ones they call Guides. Guides support Sentinels and help them learn to understand and use their abilities. The person who sent me to you.... he told me some researchers believe the Guide trait is genetic."

"This is quite possible. You mentioned your son."

"Blair. Yes. He's a Guide, so.... I need to know what that means for me. I've been a traveler all my life. I say traveler, but I suppose what I really mean is escape artist. I never stayed in one place longer than it took to realize that what I was searching for wasn't there. I think.... some part of me knew all along exactly what it was I needed and how to find it.... but I was afraid to look at that part too closely..... afraid of how it might change my life. Now...."

"Now it is time to examine the unexamined?"

"Precisely. Can you help me?"

"I can. Do you have somewhere to stay for tonight?"

"I did, but with the train being delayed, the hostel has probably given my bed away by now. I'll find something...."

"There is a room at the back of the dojo. There is only a mat on the floor, but it is private and clean...."

"I've slept on much worse, trust me. You're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. We have much to discuss you and I. It will be... convenient."

"Very. Is there a specific time I should be up? I don't want to be in the way when things start up around here in the morning."

"My first class is at ten o'clock. My son may be here somewhat earlier however. He often.... drops in before work."

"I'm usually awake around five. Is that alright? My body won't let me sleep much later than that anymore but I'm sure I can find something quiet to do...."

"Unnecessary. I am normally awake at that time also. You are welcome to join me for tea in the garden."

"That would be lovely. Thank you."

"You are... welcome. This way."

Smiling, feeling genuine peace beginning to settle over her for possibly the first time in her life, Naomi grabbed her minimal baggage from it's spot outside the office door and followed Caine into the back of the dojo.



5:45 THE NEXT MORNING

"Pop?"

"I am here, Peter." Caine responded quietly, emerging from the private area at the rear of the building with Naomi and her travel pack in tow.

"We need to talk.... who's this?"

"Naomi Sandburg. This is my son Peter."

"The one you mentioned?"

"Yes. He is my only child.... presumably."

Peter grimaced faintly.

"Ignore that. It's his idea of a joke. Peter Caine. Nice to meet you."

"You too. Well, thank you for the tea." She said, turning back to Kwai-Chang. "I just need to call *my* son and let him know I wasn't abducted by aliens or murdered on the train. We'll meet back in your office in, say, half an hour?"

Caine bowed slightly. Naomi returned it and moved off to a quiet corner, pulling out her cell phone.

"Okay, Pop. Who is this woman?"

"I.... do not know. Not just yet. I know only what I wish for her to be."

Peter actually turned his face away this time.

"Yeesh... Don't do that. I haven't had breakfast yet and deciphering Kwai-Chang speak this early in the morning kills my appetite."

In response, Caine gave his son a love-tap that almost knocked him back a step.

"You would have a better appetite all day if you ate the proper foods for your body instead of.... pizza and chocolate bars."

"Yeah, yeah. We've been through this before, we'll go through it again, I'm sure. I don't have time for a nutrition lecture. I only stopped by to make sure you'll be in town for a while. I... I need to talk."

"I see this. You are pale. What has disturbed your sleep?"

"Last night..... I had a dream about when I was eleven an' you took me out to the words up North an' left me there...."

"I remember. It was a difficult time for you in many ways. You wish to... discuss this?"

"Tomorrow. I'm takin' a couple days off once this stake out tonight is over. I need to.... hell, I don't know exactly what I need, but I'll have some time to find out I guess."

"I will be here. I cannot convince you...."

"No, you can't. Bye, Pop."

Peter touched his father's arm gently and left the dojo. Several minutes later, having reassured her youngest child of her health and welfare, Naomi rejoined Caine.

"There. I think he believes I'm really alright. Caine?"

"Yes. I am sorry. " he responded, forcing himself out of his thoughts. "I am worried about Peter. Children can be.... difficult to understand."

"That is possibly the grandest understatement ever uttered. Shall we retire to your office?"

"Yes. I will eat breakfast there."

"Oh. Thank you for reminding me." she said, jogging back to where she'd dropped her pack and returning with a small bowl, a wooden spoon and a plastic storage bag half filled with a mixture of grain and dried fruit. "If I could possibly borrow some water..."

"Of course." he answered, leading the way back to the office. "There is a.... device here in the office. It dispenses either cold or hot water."

"Oh, marvelous." Naomi commented as she carefully allowed steaming liquid to dribble into her bowl. "These coolers are wonderful things aren't they? I've spent months in places where one can barely find water at all, never mind clean, relatively pure water. I take full advantage of civilization when it's available."

Grinning lightly, she reclaimed a seat in front of the desk, stirring her porridge slowly.

"If I may ask...." Caine inquired, indicating her bowl with his eyes.

"I make it myself. It's nothing very fancy; just ground barley, wheat, and rice, mixed with dried apples, cranberries and banana. I take it everywhere I travel. I also make my own pemmican."

"You are wise to do so. In certain areas of the world food can be a most.... unpredictable factor."

"You've traveled, then?"

"For many years I walked in the footsteps of my father. After a time I came to my own.... time of decision. My heart lead me here, I was reunited with my son.... all has turned out for the best."

"Hmm. Yes. Up until he left for college, my son was with me almost every moment.... and we barely knew each other. We had our own reunion not long ago. He's become a tremendous young man. I'm extremely proud of him."

"As I am of Peter."

"But?"

Caine smiled ruefully.

"We were apart for many years. A tragedy separated us..... he lost the lessons of his youth as he grew. He is no longer willing to listen. He does not trust my words.... my intuition."

"He doesn't trust you."

"You too are.... perceptive."

"He loves you deeply. That much was obvious this morning."

"It is a start. Only a start." Caine mused. He paused, studying Naomi carefully then continued. "I think it is a very good thing that you have come here, Naomi Sandburg."

"No such thing as coincidence. I've always believed something outside us directs our lives. Most people don't even acknowledge that it exists, never mind taking a minute out to listen. It would point us in the right direction every time if we'd only pay attention..... I'm so sorry. I ramble when I get excited. Anyway, I have to believe that whatever.... whoever it is, it put me here at this moment. I think you're right. It is a very good thing."

"We have a few hours left. Please tell me about your son and also about.... Jim?"

"Of course. Jim Ellison is Blair's Sentinel.....well, Jim is actually Sentinel for the whole city of Cascade, Washington.... Oh, God, I'm doing it again. I beg of you, don't let me ramble or else you'll be completely confused by the time I'm done and you'll miss your first class as well. Okay. Let me start at the beginning."

"That would be appreciated."

EARLY AFTERNOON: THE DOJO

"Darling, will you relax? I've decided to stay here for a while. Is that really so strange?"

"For you? Absolutely."

"That's Jim's skepticism talking and you know it. I've warned you about picking up and absorbing his negative vibrations. Are you burning that yellow candle I sent you?"

"It's my skepticism and it's justified. You said you'd only be gone a day or two. What could you have found that's so fascinating it would get you to extend your trip instead of coming home?"

"Research. And Cascade is your home, not mine, Blair."

"Research. Into some guy you met in the local hostel or at the health food store, right?"

"Blair Sandburg! I'll forgive that unkindness since I know it came from a place of love and concern, but don't let it happen again. If you must know, I am staying in a man's home, but it isn't at all what you think. He's a Buddhist priest. Shao-Lin, as a matter of fact. He and I have been having a wonderfully insightful talk about Sentinels and Guides. He doesn't call them that, of course, language differences being what they are. He said they don't even have a word for the Sentinels in his language, actually, but he has heard of them. He described Jim's personality to a T. I swear...."

"Mom! Take a breath!" Blair interjected, using the phrase the two had agreed on that alerted her when she was rambling.

"Oh. Thank you dear."

"No problem. So you have no clue when you'll be back?"

"None. I quite like this city actually. I feel...."

"What, mom?"

"I'm not sure just yet. Still. At peace. It's been far too long since I experienced that and I'm reluctant to give it up. You understand, darling."

"It's the way I feel here.... with Jim."

"Precisely. I'll admit, I can't quite see the whole picture yet. All I know is that I was drawn here.... and that drawing feels very right. Your breezy, flighty mother may finally have been grounded. To my surprise... the thought doesn't frighten me anymore."

"Wow, mom. I've never heard you talk this way. You sound... happy. I like that."

"Believe me, so do I."

"You'll call if this priest comes up with information we don't already know?"

"Of course I will, dear. I'll call tomorrow regardless."

"Okay. Talk to you then, mom."

"Good-bye, Blair, love."

Disconnecting the call, Naomi turned to find that Kwai-Chang was seated on the other side of the large space, stretching slowly. Smiling she walked over to him.

"I'm not interrupting a meditation, am I?"

"No. My final class of the day has just finished." He assured her, sitting up. "I was merely... relaxing. Please, sit."

"Thank you."

"Your son?" he asked, nodding at the phone she still held in her hand.

"Yes. He's wonderful to me. Don't misunderstand, I'm grateful for his concern, but sometimes.... I want to lock him in a closet and go to Jamaica."

"I am sure Peter often has the same thought about me."

"You always irritate the one you love?"

"Yes. I am afraid this is true."

"I was wondering if you knew of a good organic market in the area. I thought I'd make dinner tonight to thank you for your kindness."

"That is not necessary..."

"I understand. I'd like to do it anyway. If you'll allow?"

"If I can... help."

"Agreed."

"I know of an excellent market nearby. Their vegetables are the highest quality and they have fresh fish as well."

"That sounds ideal. You wouldn't mind if we walked, I hope. I prefer to whenever it's at all possible."

"As do I. A walk it is."


THE STATION: LATE AFTERNOON

"Hey. You okay? You look like you didn't sleep."

"I'm fine. Just... distracted. Nightmares."

"Really bad?"

"Bad enough. Childhood stuff."

"You sure you're still up for this stakeout tonight? I mean, yesterday with that mini breakdown you had... now it's nightmares?"

"I did not have a breakdown!"

"Pete. Pandas on the stairs?"

"I explained that...."

"I've heard of pink elephants in your shot glass, bugs climbing up the walls and every other weird concoction the imagination can come up with, but pandas is a new one on me..."

"Look, lay off and go get the cars and equipment signed out for tonight, willya?"

"Whatever you say. Just remember to warn me if you see any camels, okay? They spit and I'm not getting that stuff in my hair."

Peter scowled and threw a notebook at Skelany's head and she retreated, laughing.


THAT NIGHT: THE DOJO

"The meal was splendid. You are an accomplished cook."

"I had no choice but to learn. Blair was a very picky child and getting him to eat anything at all was a chore, never mind healthy food. It was either cook for him, or watch him grow up like most children; junk-food addicted, overweight and ill. I couldn't bear that."

"I try to impress on Peter how vital it is for him to control his diet and eat only good food.... but I am afraid it is far too late. Some lessons he is simply too old to absorb."

"You look upset. He hasn't called, I take it?"

"No. Under the pressure of his work... he often forgets."

"It's difficult isn't it? Being the parent of a police officer, I mean. I always thought of Blair as totally wrapped up in academics. Then he met Jim, Jim took him to the police station and my safe, studious boy was gone for good. He's gotten hurt... nearly killed once or twice. It wouldn't bother me so much if I wasn't fully aware of how much he enjoys throwing himself in front of armed felons."

Caine smiled gently, then rose with his dishes in his hand.

"Peter's choices are not always the best. I am learning to.... adjust. If the choices were ours they might never leave the cradle. We would always be able to shield them from the worst... the most painful. It... is not so."

"No. it isn't."

Naomi gathered up her dishes and followed Caine from the office where they'd been eating. Halfway across the floor, she paused for a moment then her face lit up. "He still lets me hug him in public. That's something."

"Yes. Perhaps you could convince Peter that... hugs are not such a bad idea."

"I'm willing to try."



1:00 A.M.

"Pete? Peter will you talk to me, for God's sake? Pete!"

"Yeah. What? I'm here." He responded, pressing on his ear piece.

"Couldn't prove it by me! I've been talking to you for the last ten minutes and getting nothing back! Tell me I wasn't right. You haven't been drinking, have you?"

"Get your head outta your ass, Skelany. I had a beer around midnight last night. One beer, that's it."

From his position, Peter caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head just in time to see what could only be the rear end of a panda disappear through the door of a nearby warehouse. He grimaced, squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"I did not just see what I thought I saw, I did not just see what I thought I saw...." he mumbled, trying desperately to convince himself that fatigue and stress were joining forces to mess with his head.

"Say again, Pete? The last transmission wasn't clear."

When Peter dared to open his eyes again, he found that the illusion had not evaporated. In fact, the panda was now poking its head around the corner of the door and mewling impatiently. Peter dropped his head to the steering wheel of his car and tried to slow his breathing.

"Oh, god.... not now... not tonight. I *cannot* lose it tonight of all nights! Go away, damn it!"

When he raised his head this time, the panda was gone. Slightly shaky, but utterly relieved, he began to smile. It lasted only until he happened to look out the driver's side window to find the immense animal staring at him from only inches away. Peter recoiled and let loose a brief, but piercing yell followed by a familiar, forcefully delivered expletive that was picked up by everyone on the stakeout team, including, to his everlasting embarrassment, Skelany.

"Pete, what the hell is going on over there? Hang tight. I'm coming to you."

"No! No... I'm.... I'm okay. I dumped hot coffee on my leg. Stay in position."

The panda outside his window backed off a step and shook its head from side to side "On second thought, the next shift's due in ten minutes. You guys can take off. I'll stay 'till the replacements show up."

"Oh, no. No way! If you think I'm leaving without making sure you're not bleeding, you're out of your mind, Caine..."

"I said go! I'm okay. The coffee didn't do much damage. Just go home, alright? I mean it."

"Pete..."

"I don't need another overprotective parent on my back, Meg. The two fathers I already have are too much to handle as it is. Get goin'. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah... you just better show up at work, or I'll find your skinny ass and beat you senseless for making me sit up all night worrying."

"I'll look forward to it. Night, Skelany."

Slowly, Peter dug the receiver out of his ear, looked at it and dropped it on the dash. After a moment, he returned his gaze to the apparition that waited for him.

"Okay. I'm making decisions... based on the advice of a panda only I can see. Pop is gonna get such a kick out of this...." Peter thought to himself as he scrambled his way out of the passenger's side of the car. After locking the doors, he cautiously made his way around the front of the vehicle, stopping several feet out of the range of claws and teeth. "Your name wouldn't be Harvey, would it?"

The panda lowered its head and snorted firmly before turning and moving away. "Didn't think so."

Peter hesitated, then haltingly began to trail after the animal, his thoughts running a mile a minute. {I *really* shouldn't be doing this. If I'm losing it, I should go find help. On the other hand.... Why not play follow the hallucination? I mean... I can't get any *more* nuts. It's the first step over the line that counts. After tonight it's padded walls, psycho-therapy and pajamas 24/7.... I might as well have my fun while I can, right? Like chasing endangered species that aren't really there. Hell. Here's to insanity; enjoy it until the tranquilizers kick in. Ace Caine: Pet Detective is on the case...}

------------------------------------

As Peter approached the entrance to the warehouse he drew his gun from its holster and held it loosely in his right hand, muzzle pointed at the tarmac. Despite the anxious 'hurry the hell up' behavior of the panda, the cop in Peter simply didn't trust what he still considered to be a creation of his over-worked, over-stressed, over-inventive mind. Within moments of the weapon making its appearance, however, the panda stopped, faced Peter in a clearly aggressive stance that effectively blocked the warehouse door, and began to growl softly.

"What? What'd I do now? The gun? Is that it? Look, you don't know who or what's in there anymore than I do. There could be something *real* in there waiting to jump my ass. So far all you are is a pain in it. I'm not givin' up my only protection."

The growl deepened slightly, accompanied by a determined movement back in Peter's direction. "Is that a threat? Okay, okay. It goes back in the holster, but if I get shot, I swear...."

The panda's vocalizations ramped up another level and it began to slowly scrape one paw back and forth along the asphalt. The distinct squeak and scream of long sharp claws on a hard surface caused Peter to pale rapidly. "Whoa... now that's a threat if I ever heard one. Damn. Fine, I'll put the whole rig in the car. Will that make you happy?"

The basso profundo rumble abruptly ceased. The apparition bobbed its head, as if this suggestion met with its approval, but added a whine to reaffirm the need for haste. It took only a few minutes for Peter to secure the gun, lock up the car again and return, but by then anger was beginning to replace confusion and the young man welcomed it.

{Anything's better than wondering if they make straight jackets and padded rooms in pretty colors. White gets so boring...}

A few steps from the warehouse once again, Peter addressed the anxious panda. "I don't know what your big hurry is! You don't exist! Where could you possibly have to be in such a big damn rush? Huh? Got an early appointment with the Easter bunny? Is Santa Claus waitin' on your approval for this year's batch of teddy bears?"

Before turning back to continue their journey, the panda produced a clearly derisive chuffing sound that Peter loosely translated as "You think you're funny, but you're actually annoying."

{Yeah, well I'd rather be annoying than imaginary!} he retorted in his head, but kept following anyway. As he stepped over the threshold, he was so caught up in concerns for his safety and his sanity, not in that exact order, that he failed to register how dark the building actually was. The ambient light from the windows gave him a false sense of security and he had tripped over the steel pipe at his feet before he could even think about making use of the penlight in his jacket pocket. As he fell to the floor, throwing out his hands to brace himself, he had time to bring two words to mind.

{Stupid panda...}

Then pain slammed into his left knee as it contacted the cement just ahead of his right. A moment later sudden agony knifed through his skull, a flash of white light obscured his vision and he dropped suddenly into a deep well of true darkness.

---------------------------------

"Caine? What is it? I heard you cry out. Is everything alright?" Naomi asked sleepily as she stood in the door to her host's chamber. Kwai-Chang sat stiffly on his pallet, working on slowing his breathing.

"I... I am not sure. For a moment I thought Peter was in pain... in danger. It was but a brief touch.... perhaps only a nightmare."

"That's possible. You've been so worried about him. It would be natural to have that kind of dream."

"True, but my dreams are not always what they appear."

"Oh. I see. Do you know where he was working tonight? If you want to try and find him, I'd be glad to come along for company and moral support..."

"No. The offer is... appreciated, but he never tells me where he performs his... stake outs." Caine told her, pronouncing the unfamiliar word carefully. "He is, I think, wise not to do so."

"You're saying he knows you'd be at every site, watching over him until you were sure he'd gotten home safely?"

"Precisely."

"Would you like to talk for a little while? Just to take your mind off the... dream."

"Thank you... but no. It has already faded. I will be able to sleep."

As she turned away again, Caine called her back.

"Naomi."

"Hmm?"

"It has been a... long time since anyone has watched over me. It is strange.... but pleasant. Thank you for that also."

"You're welcome. Anytime you need me... just call." Naomi assured him and turned to go back to her own bed.

------------------------------

Some time later, consciousness returned grudgingly to Peter. As he was sprawled on his face, sight was the last sense to restore itself. Touch was the first, announcing its revival with a brief, sharp pain in the nape of his neck. Unthinking, he instinctively reached back and slapped at the spot.

{Mosquitoes? In a warehouse in the middle of the city.... can't be. I musta done somethin' nasty when I fell... If I can feel pain, I'm probably okay. God, please don't let me be really hurt... let my legs work...}

After another few moments of recovery and re-orientation, Peter began to tune back in to the sounds in the world around him. He quickly realized it was not the world he expected to find. Insects buzzed close and thick around his head, what could only be heavily leafed trees rustled somewhere above him and, finally entering its contribution, his nose brought him the distinct scents of pine needles, moss and soil.

Very slowly, taking care in case something had happened to his neck, Peter raised his head an inch or two off the ground. When everything continued to function, he cautiously pushed up to his knees, causing pain to flash both up and down his legs. Crying out, he immediately rolled into a sitting position, belatedly remembering the impact his knees had taken when he'd tripped.

"Okay..." he addressed the sky wearily. "so I know they work. I asked for that one, but that's the last practical joke between you an' me tonight, okay?"

Finally opening his eyes, Peter stared in growing horror at the forest that surrounded him. Wan daylight, formed as the sun inched over the horizon, filtered through the canopy, barely warming his shivering body. "Or maybe not.... I can't be here. I knocked myself out cold... an' I'm in a coma.... I'm dreaming... this *cannot* be happening!" he shouted, frightening a trio of birds out of a nearby tree. A moment later, a leaf, broken off by their rapid passage, drifted down to land on Peter's thigh. As he reached out to touch it, he discovered the remains of a mosquito on his palm; the same palm with which he had slapped the back of his neck. "No.... no way.... I'm not here, this isn't real.... I'm not here, this isn't real...."

Just then, another mosquito decided to make a meal out of Peter. The slight sting caused him to react as if he'd been kicked or punched instead of merely bitten. Panting with terror, swiping frantically at the bug, he crab crawled backwards until he came up against a tree trunk. Alone and confused, he drew his body into a ball and closed his eyes again, unwilling and unable to face that he seemed to be reliving of one of his worst childhood memories.

-------------------------------

^^^^^ Swiftly, she traveled over and sometimes through the deep snow, moving with a strange, but also familiar ground-eating gait. Chaser or chased, she did not know. She only knew that she was searching for something lost, something she had been struggling all her life to find. Now, at last, it was within her grasp. She could feel it, sense it...

Shaking her head, she violently tossed back the fine silver hair near her eyes that obscured her vision. She had to be able to see, able to realize in an instant when her goal was at hand. Abruptly, her heartbeat sped up and she skidded to a halt, trembling in fear. The powerful, measured rhythm that had been drawing her on had stumbled, just for a moment. The one she sought was in jeopardy! No, wait.... not yet. Soon.

Pushing aside her fatigue and her own pain, she resumed her search, doubling her speed. Time pressed heavily on her as she flew over the terrain, her hooves digging out great divots of the snow beneath her and sending them high into the air. The presence she sought had begun to slip away. He seemed determined to reject his very soul and only she could prevent it. If she could find him in time.... ^^^^^

This time it was Caine who raced to Naomi's side in response to her sounds of distress.

"No... have to find... can't stop... can't.... have to..."

"Naomi..."

The older woman woke suddenly, bolting up and panting for breath. Gradually, she sank back, supporting herself on one elbow. "Are you alright?"

"Yes... I... I think so. Dear Lord...." she said, swiping a shaky hand over her face. For a moment she stared in confusion at the appendage as if something weren't quite right about it, but Caine spoke up again and she shelved the odd sensation.

"It seems I am not the only one with... unusual dreams."

"Too right. I haven't had that dream in... almost ten years. Well, not that dream, really...."

"Tell me."

"All my life, I've had dreams about a silver mustang. It's tall, beautiful, fast as the wind, and... I don't know how.... but I've always known that it's supposed to be me. The dream is different every time, but... the same, you know? A sense of restlessness, running but not in the right direction, wondering if I'll ever find my way.... I always thought they were just my subconscious reflecting my dissatisfaction with my life back at me. The dreams never frightened me before..."

"And this time?"

"I'm petrified. This dream.... the path is finally right, but something was saying I took too long finding it. What.. whoever I'm searching for is starting to fade away. He's losing himself and if I can't get to him...."

"Why do you say he?"

"I don't know. I've never felt so close to...."

Naomi's thought process ground to a halt as pieces began to fall into place. "You haven't heard from Peter, have you." she said, her tone making it a statement instead of a question.

"I do not believe so. I would have heard the phone if... I will go and look at the machine while you... compose yourself."

"Excellent idea. Thank you for returning the concern."

Caine bowed deeply and hurried for the office. He returned a minute or two later, his expression grim. "Something has happened. Peter needs help."

"That is my feeling also. I must go to his work.... to the police station...."

"Of course. Give me a minute to dress."

"You need not...."

"To paraphrase Tina Turner, what's need got to do with it?"

"I'm sorry. I do not understand..."

"Don't worry about it. All I was trying to say is that there's no question of my leaving you to face this alone. I'm not going along out of obligation. I'm going because I want to help."

"You also feel as if you will be needed.... do you not?"

Naomi gazed up from her pallet with a slight look of consternation, wondering how he could have known what she herself was not certain enough to voice.

"Okay, now *you're* starting to scare me, too. Go on. Wait for me out front. I'll be dressed in just a minute."

----------------------------------

Wishing she were taller, Naomi hurried into the detective division of the Metro police department on Caine's heels, though she was having to make a real effort to keep up with the output of his long legs. She followed him over to the desk of another detective, a pretty, dark haired young woman, then leaned on the desk catching her breath while he asked questions.

"Detective Skelany."

"Caine. Hi. You look upset. Is something.... Peter? Don't tell me he didn't get home last night. That boy is in for the butt-whooping of his life, I swear..."

"I cannot reach him by phone. This is not so unusual after he has been out late. Nevertheless I am... concerned. Do you know where he was working last night?"

"Of course I do. I was with him." Skelany answered distractedly as she reviewed Peter's strange behavior again. Caine picked up on her bewilderment instantly.

"Something happened."

"Maybe. I heard him give this screech over the radio. He said he dropped coffee in his lap. Then he told the rest of us to head on home. He said he'd wait for the backup team to get there then head out himself. It was only gonna be a few minutes. I didn't think he could get into any real serious trouble.... what am I saying, this is Pete. If there was a pit of quicksand anywhere in a three state area, he'd be the one to fall in it."

"It is a... gift."

"So you say. C'mon. I'll take you to the warehouse, but we're picking up a few dozen extra cops on the way."

-------------------------------

Using gestures instead of words, Skelany directed the positioning of the eight officers she was able to grab on such short notice. Two of the group she took into the warehouse with her. The trio came on Peter's sprawled form almost immediately. Caine and Naomi were there before she even had time to call for them.

"Oh, my Lord. Is he alright?" Naomi exclaimed quietly as she crouched by Peter's side and grasped his arm. The moment she touched him, the warehouse swirled away like water circling a drain and she was back in the snowy open field she had inhabited in her dreams the previous night. This time, however, she was standing quite still and listening, only occasionally pawing the ground with one hoof. After a moment, a form appeared out of the swirling snow and cried out to her plaintively. Confused and unsure, she hesitated, unwilling to move forward as the creature, now clearly visible as an enormous panda, seemed to want her to do. When it cried again, the sound was filled with anguish and tinged with fear. Naomi's tender heart overrode everything that might have been holding her back and she followed the other animal at a fast trot, knowing her journey was almost over.

"Ma'mm? What's wrong with her, Caine? Ma'mm, are you okay?" Skelany asked, shaking the older woman slightly.

"I... do not know. Take her over there and I will see to her in a moment. Peter has been injured." He responded, gently turning his son over onto his back. Being pulled away from Peter's side broke Naomi's contact with him and she immediately protested. "No! Leave me alone... I was so close! I was almost there! Don't you understand? Let me go, damn it! I have to go back...."

In the middle of his tightly focused examination of his son, Naomi's words began to filter through to Caine. He rose and moved to her side.

"It is alright, detective. You may release her. To what place must you return, Naomi? Tell me what happened."

"I was there... in my dream. Whatever it is I'm supposed to find... I almost had it. I could almost touch it... then she pulled me away."

Sensing the situation turning into another of Caine's truth-is-ten- times-stranger-than-fiction moments, Skelany backed off and spoke into her radio, asking for medical assistance, then moved outside to dismiss the extra personnel. "Is Peter going to be alright?" Naomi asked.

"I... do not yet know. I must finish examining him. Come." Caine said, leading her back to where Peter still lay. Silently, he encouraged her to re-establish contact with his son. Crouching, she touched the young man's face and felt the world vanish in a slow dissolve once again, returning her to the cold, windswept plain. Panic swallowed her, however, because she was utterly alone. The panda she'd been following was nowhere in sight and even the steady pulse she had been depending on to guide her could no longer be heard. Naomi collapsed to the floor, crying softly. Knowing now that what had happened to his son was nothing anyone other than Peter could heal, Caine moved to comfort her. As he helped her back onto her feet, he turned her to face him.

"No... God, no...."

"What is it? What did you see?"

"I failed. I lost him... I can't hear him anymore..."

"You did not fail Peter. His path will not be clear until he chooses it."

"You don't understand! Before she dragged me away, I was following the panda.... I knew it was right... I knew he'd lead me to.... Now he's gone and I don't know which way to go anymore...."

Caine's hands tightened on Naomi's shoulders.

"Lead you to what?"

"I don't know. Someone who needs me.... I think. They're in danger.... or about to give up something they shouldn't.... I need to find them...."

"You have." Caine told her, looking from her to his son.

Naomi gazed at Peter's still form, swiped at her eyes and turned back to Caine.

"Peter? I don't understand...."

"Nor do I.... just yet."

---------------------------

Sunk deep inside himself, refusing to acknowledge that, for all intents and purposes, the environment around him was real, Peter Caine sagged against the soaring pine tree at his back. Though his thirst was raging and hunger had begun to announce its presence as well, he ignored them both as thoroughly as he ignored the creature that had been sitting at his side for several hours. It had briefly vanished into the surrounding brush some time ago, but it had returned almost immediately and had not left him alone since then.

The panda had employed several techniques to draw him out and gain his attention, but they had been useless so far. Understanding, as Peter did not, how little time the young man had left, the animal decided it had reached the limit of its patience. Moving a short distance away, the bear rooted among the ground cover with paws and nose until it found what it required; a small dead branch that possessed a wickedly sharp point on its unbroken end. Moving back to where Peter sat, the bear gripped the stick tightly in its teeth and swung its head sideways, firmly poking the point into the back of Peter's hand and causing a drop of blood to well up from the minor wound. The human yelped and pulled his hand away. The panda dropped the stick and produced a short, sharp grunt of satisfaction.

//// It's about time you got your ass in gear.\\\\

Peter's eyes widened and he stared around him at the trees and bushes, searching for the source of the voice.

"What the...."

//// I'm over here. \\\\

Slowly, unwillingly, Peter's gaze swung back to the panda. //// That's right. Sorry about the stick, but I couldn't get through to you any other way and I wasn't about to let you commit suicide. \\\\

"Suicide... who said anything about suicide... "

//// I brought you water, but you wouldn't drink it. If I could have brought food you would have refused that too. What exactly do you call that kind of behavior? \\\\

Peter looked around the space where he sat and found several leaves with liquid sitting in them, in various stages of evaporation.

"Look, what is it you want from me? Why won't you leave me alone? Just let me go...."

//// Not my place. You have a journey ahead of you and a decision to make at the end. Until you finish this one way or the other, you don't get an exit sign, champ. \\\\

Peter sat, deep in thought for another few minutes, pondering his options. He was depressed to find there weren't any. When the panda picked up the stick again, the young man scrambled out of range and rose to his feet, anxious to avoid a repeat of the pain.

"Okay, okay! Enough with the torture. Can't a guy think, for God's sake?" He responded irately, brushing pine needles and other accumulated debris from his clothes.

//// Does that mean you're finally ready to get started? \\\\

"Does that mean you're giving me a choice?"

//// No. \\\\

"Didn't think so. Okay. Let's move out." Peter replied, wincing as he limped forward. Noticing his pain, the panda moved close and nuzzled each of Peter's knees with his nose. To the other's astonishment, the pain and stiffness disappeared.

"How the hell did you do that?"

//// I said I couldn't let you go. I didn't say I was totally useless. Follow. \\\\



THE HOSPITAL

Naomi stood just outside the curtained emergency room enclosure, watching Caine and marveling at his patience. For half an hour, he had been quietly arguing both with the doctor and Mary-Margaret Skelany about his son's care. He knew that no medicine would ever cause Peter to regain consciousness, but he also knew there was no way to explain his certainty and sound rational to uninitiated ears and closed minds. The doctors were intent on trying to understand such bizarre events as the tiny pinpoint wound that had suddenly appeared on Peter's hand a few minutes before and the plethora of mosquito bites that covered his body.

She observed for a few minutes longer, then turned away and walked out of the building, pulling out her cell phone.

"Yeah. Hello?"

"Jim... it... it's Naomi. I-is Blair at home?"

"He's right here. What's wrong, Naomi? You sound like you've been through a car wreck."

"No, really, I'll be alright. I'm a little... shaken, that's all. On second thought, can I talk to both of you at once?"

"Sure. Hang on while I put you on speaker."

"Mom? What is it? Are you okay?" Blair asked, his tone clearly conveying his concern.

"In most respects, yes. I.... something very strange has been happening to me.... all my usual coping mechanisms seem to have gone on strike.... Could you come here? You and Jim both, I mean."

"Mom, you're scaring me. I've never in my life heard you like this."

"I'm scaring myself just a bit... Can you get away?" Naomi asked again, struggling now to control her emotions.

"Are you kidding? I'll be there as soon as I can get packed. Where are you staying?"

"At a little Kung-Fu dojo downtown. Just ask for Caine. Everyone knows him. Blair.... do hurry, dear. Bring Jim... and hurry. There's a young man who... well, I'll tell you when I see you. Call me when you arrive?"

"I will. See you soon, mom."

"Yes. You know... I never understood before. I wasn't sure I wanted to. I'm finding I was right."

"Understood? Understood what? Mom?"

Blair shouted her name once or twice more, but Naomi had hung up.

THAT EVENING

"You heard her with her your own ears, Jim. Did that sound like my mother?"

"She was a little on edge, but yeah it sounded like her."

"Jim. When have you ever known Naomi Sandburg to willingly end a phone conversation?"

Blair's partner had no glib, easy response to this reminder and the younger man leaped on his silence as confirmation of his worst fears. "See? I'm right. You know I'm right. Something happened to her.... something she felt like she had to hide from me. That guy probably did something to her."

"What guy?"

"The one she's staying with. He probably made a move on her...."

"Didn't she tell you he's a priest?"

"Yeah... she did. Shao-lin. They're supposed to be one of the most incorruptible, deeply spiritual groups out there. Okay, so it isn't him, but what else am I supposed to think? You even said she sounded like she just barely escaped a major car accident."

"She was upset. It could have been anything. What was the last thing she said?"

" ' I never understood. I wasn't sure I wanted to and I'm finding out I was right. ' That's not verbatim, but it's close."

"Understood what?"

"I wish I knew. Whatever it is, it scared her enough to send the two of us an SOS. That in itself is way out of character for her. She's so strong, Jim. I can't stand thinking.... What could have thrown her so bad that she'd call for help like that?"

"She'll be okay 'till we get there, Chief. We land in twenty minutes. Hang in there, alright?" Jim soothed, briefly covering Blair's hand with his own and giving it a light squeeze. Blair gave him a brave smile, tucked his hair behind his ears and straightened in his seat.

"I know. You're right. She'll be fine. In all the time we traveled together there was nothing she couldn't handle. So why did she sound so lost and confused? She's not supposed to sound like that, Jim. Not my mom..."

Abruptly, Blair turned to the window as his moment of bravado-laced strength faded away. He was discreet about sweeping the moisture from his cheeks, but Jim had other ways of knowing what his Guide was feeling. Ellison placed one solid, supportive hand in the center of Blair's back and the other on his shoulder.

"I wish I could make this easier on you. Watching the people we love get hurt.... it's something we all have to go through."

"Yeah, well.... it sucks."

"Damn straight. Watchin' you lay there in the hospital, fightin' to come back from the Golden....I couldn't figure out whether I wanted to punch a huge hole in the wall or drop to my knees an' pray. I mean, I'd felt helpless before.... but never like that. I had to face your humanity... an' mine too. I hated it."

"How...how did you handle that?" Blair asked, turning back to face his best friend.

"Some of it I took out on the scum that was dealin' the stuff." Jim admitted with a wry smile. "The rest of it.... I just let it go. I knew if I hung onto it, I'd self-destruct. I kept tellin' myself you were okay an' that was all that mattered. Naomi's okay, Blair. Just focus on that. She's okay."

"I know.... Jim?"

"Yeah."

"How come you never told me that before.... about the hospital, I mean?"

"I don't know. You never needed to hear it before, I guess."

"I know how hard that was for you. Thanks."

"Anytime, Chief. Anytime."



ONE HOUR LATER: THE DOJO

From the airport, Blair and Jim found a cab and headed directly downtown. They expected to have to ask at least a few people where to find Caine's dojo, but to their surprise, the cab driver knew exactly where to take them. Leaving his partner to grab the bags, Blair threw a few random bills at the cabbie, leapt from the vehicle and rushed inside, anxious to reassure himself of his mother's safety.

"Mom? Hey, is anybody here? Mom, where are you?!"

"I'm right here, darling." Naomi called, appearing from her temporary quarters in the rear of the dojo and rushing into her son's arms. "You can't know how glad I am to see you, Blair...."

"Are you really okay? On the phone...."

"I know. I was still in a minor state of shock when I called. I'm not sure I'm completely over that yet." Naomi told him, pulling away slightly. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"What's the emergency? What's so big that you couldn't tell me over the phone?"

"Oh, dear. How do I explain this? Wait here." she told him, disappearing into the office and returning with a chair. Jim raised an eyebrow at Blair.

"An explanation that requires a chair? I can't wait to hear this."

"Cut it out, Jim. What's this about, mom?"

"Have a seat, Blair."

"Am I going to need it?"

"Better safe than risk a concussion when you faint."

His expression grim, Blair sank into the chair. "Good. Now close your eyes and take a deep breath."

"Naomi...."

"Please, for your own sake, just do it. Trust me, you'll thank me later."

Blair complied grudgingly.

"Okay. Shoot."

"I've proved one of your pet theories about Guides."

"Which would be?"

"The trait is definitely genetic."

Blair hesitated before slowly asking his next question.

"And... you would know this... how?"

"I... I think I've found him."

"Found who?"

"My Sentinel."

Eyes as wide as it was possible for them to become, Blair did a creditable impression of one of Jim's zones. It lasted until his partner strode to his side, laid a hand on his arm and spoke his name.

"Blair?"

"Jim... she didn't say...."

"I heard the same thing you did, Chief. It's possible isn't it?"

"Maybe... I don't know... it's always been theoretical...."

"Not anymore it isn't. Not for me anyway." Naomi retorted, sobbing out her anger and confusion. "I need help, Blair, please. I don't understand what's happening to me, and my Sentinel, the young man who I was supposed to save, is lying in the back room of this dojo comatose...."

"Okay, okay, slow down, mom." Blair replied, rising and drawing her into his arms. "Everything's gonna be fine."

"I wish I could believe that. I'm so scared.... the nightmares... and the visions.... nothing makes sense...."

"Visions? Visions of what?"

"A horse.... a silver mare. I've always dreamed about her.... always knew she represented me, but now... I'm seeing her when I'm awake. I touched him..... and the world changed...."

After seeking silent approval from Blair to intervene, Jim jumped in with a question.

"Naomi. Did you see another animal in this vision?"

"Yes. A giant panda. I was supposed to follow it, but I lost it.... lost Peter...."

"Noone's lost yet. Can you show us where this man is?"

Naomi nodded. Reluctantly pulling away from her son's embrace, she turned and led them toward the room where Caine was tending to his child.

"Caine? May we come in?" Naomi asked tentatively.

"Yes. Please."

"Is he any better?"

"I am afraid not. The bruising on his knees is gone, but...."

The older man ended his sentence with a small shrug.

"I'm so sorry. If only that woman hadn't pulled me away...."

"It was not her fault. I asked it of her. I spoke before I understood the nature of Peter's..... condition."

"Then you know what's wrong with him?" Blair asked. Caine looked silently up at him, but did not respond.

"Oh. I almost forgot. This is my son, Blair, and his partner Jim Ellison. I asked them to come. I thought they might be able to help. This is Kwai- Chang Caine and his son Peter."

Slowly, Caine rose from his seat at Peter's side and approached Jim, laying one hand gently against the Sentinel's face. He then repeated the move with Blair.

"Warrior and shaman. You are welcome in my home."

"Is Naomi right? Is your son..."

"A warrior, such as you. I believe this to be... correct."

"Is there anything at all we can do?" Blair asked softly, gazing at Peter's still form.

"Not at present. He appears ill, but this is... illusion. His soul is journeying and he will not awaken until he has chosen his path. Perhaps then.... he will require all our skills. For the moment, I believe your mother has the greater need. In order to become what she is meant to be, she must be taught by one who has walked the road."

"Me."

"You." Caine confirmed, favoring the others with a tiny smile before walking out of the room. Jim and Blair looked at each other, then at Naomi.

"Don't look at me, Blair, dear. As far as I know nothing like this ever happened to your grandparents so it doesn't come from my side of the family." she said, taking Caine's place at Peter's side. Blair and Jim gazed worriedly at the pale young man on the cot then left to gather their bags and find a hotel.

EARLY THE FOLLOWING MORNING

Breathing heavily, Peter swiped at his sweaty brow with his sleeve and paused to lean against a tree.

"Look... can we stop a minute? I'm ready for a cold beer an' a twelve hour nap, not in that order."

/// I could do with some rest myself, but you're not done yet. Until you are neither am I, so get to work . Do well and I'll see you when you get where you're going. \\\ the panda told him, turning away and moving back toward the stand of trees they'd just emerged from.

"Huh? Translation please."

/// I'll use small words this time. Move your ass. Use your gifts. Go find her. \\\

"Find who? Hey, wait, where do you think... get back here!"

/// I can't tell you anything else and I can't go any further. From here on in, all the decisions are yours. Move, damn it! She's still waiting for you, but she won't hang around forever. It could be too late already. \\\

"Too late? For what?" Peter shouted as his escort disappeared back into the foliage. "No! Damn.... don't leave me alone. Not again...."

As Peter stood, locked in his despair and hesitation, a few final words resounded quietly in his brain, sparking a memory from early in his childhood.

/// Your first lesson.... go back... remember...\\\

% You must understand how to be at peace, my son.

I want to fight like the others do.

In time. Master this first. Knowledge, wisdom, direction, all will flow to you as easily and swiftly as water, if you are at peace.

It's too hard.

You are reaching for what you desire. This only makes the goal seem farther and farther away. Simply quiet your mind.... be calm and relaxed. Open yourself completely and what you seek will come to you. Open to the wider world.... see what it has to show you.... hear what it has to say.

Father.... I feel it.... I do.

I see this. Good, Peter. Very good.... %

Though he still struggled to understand what had happened to him, Peter clearly got the message his memory was trying to send. Pushing aside the distraction of his agitated emotions, he dropped to the ground, crossed his legs and closed his eyes, slowing his breathing and hoping against all hope that the first meditation his father had ever taught him would still be effective.

---------------------------

"You've been Jim's guide for over two years, Blair. I'm not asking for specifics of your relationship. Just tell me how to start. What am I supposed to do?"

"Mom.... God, I don't know. Even if you're right and you are a Guide, and this Peter is a Sentinel, and even if he's *your* Sentinel.... it's different for every pair bond. What I experienced won't be what you experience. You already know the basics. The Guide's job is to support his or her Sentinel and help them learn to accept and use their powers for the good of the people in whatever their territory is. All I can suggest is that you get back in touch with Peter... and do it soon."

"I... I've tried. The sensation... it scared me so much the first time. It was like losing myself..... being... blended somehow with that silver mare. I don't know if I can do that again."

Jim, standing a few feet away, suddenly decided to add his two cents to the discussion, whether or not it was wanted. He had a vague sense that Peter, or at the very least his soul, was in real danger, and the Sentinel instinct to defend and protect would not be denied.

"I know, Naomi. Every time my panther shows up, he pulls me in a little. I feel his power. I have to fight not to get lost in the urge to run and hunt and just... live. No rules, no restrictions. Pure existence. Scares the hell out of me."

"How do you cope with that fear? How do you not end up hiding in a corner, shaking and catatonic?"

"I remember that these animals are with us for a reason. When I need that strength to save somebody, I don't hesitate to call on it.... to just let my spirit animal take over. Sometimes, it's the only way to get the job done."

"Blair?" Naomi questioned, turning her gaze on her son once again.

"He's right, mom. Becoming your spirit animal is terrifying the first few times. It took me a while to understand that I was still me. I like the way you phrased it. It's a blending, but the two elements sort of stay separate at the same time. You get the use of the best qualities of the animal for a while, but it's still your mind. You stay in control and you can break the connection whenever you need to."

Having heard very little about Blair's journeys with his wolf spirit, Jim shot Blair a curious look that said the younger man was in for a long, in depth discussion when they got back to their hotel. Blair caught the look, read the message easily and turned away to hide the sudden rush of color in his face. Jim turned back to Naomi.

"You may be this kid's only chance, Naomi. I think Blair's right. You have to go back in. Blair and I.... we put each other first. We don't even think about it anymore, we just do it. If you're not sure you can do that.... maybe you aren't meant to be Peter's Guide."

"I am!" Naomi retorted, jumping to her feet. "Haven't either of you been listening at all? I feel it, I know it.... I'm supposed to be here! He needs me and Peter is what I've been searching for all my life! If you can't be as positive as I am about this, then you can both just go home, because I don't need you or your... your doubting Thomas attitudes!"

Glancing at Jim, Blair grinned broadly. Jim returned it then both men looked back to Naomi, who glared at them intently. "What? What are you smiling about?"

Walking to where his mother stood, Blair embraced her fiercely. Though she tried to stay angry, being held in her son's arms dissolved every ounce of her sudden burst of fury.

"I never really doubted you, mom. I was just waiting for some sign. When you defended Peter and yourself like that.... when you defended your right to your bond, I knew. I'm so happy for you, I hope you know that. Even if it means we'll see each other less than we do now...." he told her joyfully, belying the tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Blair.... at least I'll only be down the coast instead of eight-thousand miles away..." Naomi reminded him, crying as well.

"True.... Mom, you have to do this. You have to go back into that world and find Peter. He may not wake up if you don't." Blair said, pulling away slightly to gaze into his mother's face. Naomi nodded and completed the separation.

"I know. Will you both stay? I still have so many questions. And Peter... he has no idea about any of this. He'll need someone who understands..."

"Don't worry. We'll be here, Naomi." Jim reassured. "Go to him."

"Thank you.... both of you."

Blair touched Naomi's face softly, then gripped her by the shoulders, turned her around and gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the back room where Peter lay waiting for her. She laughed, but didn't turn back to look at either man. Instead she strode forward, praying the delay hadn't cost her the new life she now desired more than anything.

--------------------------

In the forest of his childhood, Peter sat quietly, employing his father's techniques to expand the boundaries of thought and of the physical senses. After what seemed like hours, he'd begun to worry that he had forgotten some vital step or simply wasn't doing something right, because nothing was happening. Soon, however, the status quo changed abruptly. Between one moment and the next, his environment utterly transformed, throwing him violently out of his peaceful, meditative state and into chaos. When he opened his eyes, the warm, humid, sunlit forest he'd been moving through was suddenly dark and bitterly cold, with infrequent snowflakes drifting in the air. Standing slowly, he stared around him incredulously, anger bubbling up to the surface and demanding to be expressed.

"What the hell.... great. What now? Siberia? China, so I can meet up with a few more smart-ass pandas?" he asked indignantly, addressing his question to the sky as he wrapped his arms around himself for warmth. Ineffectual as the move was, he could think of nothing else to do. When a gentle, obviously feminine voice spoke in his mind, he considered banging his head on a nearby tree to get it to stop, but decided he didn't need a real headache to go with the emotional and psychological ones he already had.

{Peter? Can you hear me? Please, I need you to hear me....}

"I hear. Not that I want to, but I hear. Are you gonna tell me how to get out of this?"

The voice continued on as if his response had not been received. To his dismay, he didn't get the answer he wanted, but, strangely, the words still brought him comfort, bolstering his strength and lightening his mood a little.

{I pray you can understand me. Even if you can't, I have to try anyway. I'm so sorry. I never meant to lose track of you. It was an accident. None of us really understood.... Peter, don't give up, do you hear me? No matter what, don't you dare give up because I'm not giving up on you. You need to keep moving forward. You'll know when you're getting close. Your heart and your ears will tell you. Just don't give up... not when we're both so close. Please, Peter....}

"Keep moving.... yeah, like I'd stop. I'd freeze to death in about five minutes. Don't worry, whoever you are. I'm not givin' up just yet." Peter declared as he moved off through the brush again, more cautious now due to lessened visibility. "I want a steak smothered in mushrooms and onions, the world's biggest potato drowning in sour cream and two six packs of light beer. If schizophrenia's what it takes to get me fed and bombed beyond recognition, that's okay with me.... The guys in the white coats can slip the straightjacket on *after* I pass out. I won't be arguin', that's for damn sure. Probably won't even feel the needle when the shoot me up with the anti-psychotic..."



FOUR HOURS LATER:

"Jim, I have to stop this, just for a while. She's so tired she can barely sit up anymore..."

"No. You can't interfere and you know it. She has to make this work. Peter may not get another chance."

"Jim.... what if she can't find him? Am I supposed to let her keep driving and pushing herself 'till she collapses?"

"Yeah, if that's what it takes. We did it, Chief. Give Naomi and Peter their shot."

Gliding up behind the two men, Caine laid a gentle hand on Blair's shoulder and spoke softly to him.

"Be strong, Shaman. I feel it will not be much longer."

"You look worried. Everything's okay isn't it?"

"For the moment, yes, but they must make the connection soon. Peter is as weakened by his journey as your mother is by hers."

"I... I feel like I need to do something.... I need to help, but I can't. There's nothing I can do for her and it's driving me crazy...."

"I understand your... frustration. Peter is my only child. He and I are all that is left of our family now. I wish that I could be with him, but this battle is his alone."

"I wish I could be as calm as you are."

"I was just going to meditate and pray. You are... welcome to join me."

Recognizing a rare learning opportunity when it presented itself, Blair nodded, bowed deeply and trailed Caine into the main room of the dojo. When Jim didn't follow, Kwai-Chang turned and extended the offer to him as well.

"No thanks. I'll stay and keep an eye on these two."

"As you wish."

"Jim, c'mon, man. It'll take your mind off everything...."

"Do not press him, Shaman. It is his nature to protect those who cannot defend themselves."

"Yeah... I guess."

"Come. Sit beside me. I will... demonstrate the meditation."

Reluctantly, Blair dropped to the mat and took up lotus position, listening intently to Caine's instruction.

---------------------------

Stumbling on feet that had gone so numb he'd lost awareness of their existence, Peter forced himself to make it to the next tree, but he could go no farther than that. Leaning heavily against its frigid, snow-dusted surface, he tried to collect himself, to gather his strength, but he had almost none left. For the past hour or two, he and the new voice had been conducting an actual conversation, when he had the energy to respond to her entreaties, but now his mind was slowly shutting down, capable only of reminding him that his body was soon to follow.

{God... the snow's gettin' worse... I can barely see anything.... can't breathe. I'm so cold.... tired.... what am I doin' here? I... I can't....}

Dropping to his knees, Peter hung his head, panting harshly and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Whoever you are.... I'm sorry, okay? I... I just c-can't keep going.... it's too much... I tried..."

{Oh no you haven't! You don't get to decide the end of this story all by yourself. Get up! Damn it, Peter, get on your feet! Can't you hear it yet?}

"Hear what?! My ass freezing? My blood turning to slush in my veins? If you can get me out of here, do it! Otherwise leave me the hell alone and let me enjoy my frostbite in peace!"

{ Peter, please focus. We don't have much time left. You can find me, Peter, I know you can, but you have to get up. You have to keep walking! Can't you hear the sound?}

"You mean.... those drums? It's a nightmare about a forest... there's supposed to be drums... right? No... wait. That's a jungle...." he responded, his words slurring faintly.

{It isn't drums and this is no nightmare. If you don't get up you'll die here, Peter! You have to follow the sound.}

"But... I can barely hear it.... can't tell what direction...."

{Yes you can. Concentrate.... listen to me, alright? I know it's hard. It may be the hardest thing you've ever done, but you have to pay attention. Focus on the beat of my heart, Peter. Use it like a lifeline. I know you can do it. This way out, sweetheart....}

"Tired.... can't move...."

{I understand. I'll try to help, but I can't spare much myself right now. I just hope this is enough....}

In her own mind, Naomi visualized hoses connecting her to a gas pump and the pump to Peter. She gave him as much of her limited store of energy as she possibly could, then made the image fade away. Over the next few minutes, Peter felt the biting cold and the despair being forced away from and out of him. Warmth and power began to trickle back into his limbs and he found the will to open his eyes. Gradually, Peter's head lifted and he refocused on the world around him. Though his progress was slow, he wrapped his arms around the tree in front of him and used it to make his way back onto his feet.

"Okay... okay, so I'm upright. What now?"

{I hope this works as well for you as it did for my son and his partner. If not... we'll think of another way, I suppose. I need you to visualize a volume dial like you'd see on a stereo. This one is labeled hearing. Right now the dial is set at the letter N, which stands for normal. See yourself reaching out and turning the dial up to three.}

As he moved through the visualization, Peter silently laughed, knowing nothing was going to happen. A moment later, shock nearly drove him back to his knees when the world around him suddenly became a cacophony of sound.

"Ahhh! What the... make it stop!"

{It's alright, Peter. *You're* alright, you just have to calm down. You can hear my heart more clearly now, can't you? Push the other sounds away a little.... and find the one sound you need to follow. Keep coming, sweetheart. I'll meet you halfway....}

Shoving away from the tree, Peter wobbled a little, steadied himself and listened. Once he was sure he knew what direction to go, he started off, slowly at first but gaining speed and hope in equal measures as he moved closer to the end of his journey.

--------------------------

"His hands... they're freezing. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was developing frostbite." Jim commented worriedly to Caine almost an hour later. "That isn't possible, though..."

"It is as possible as injuries where there should have been none and mosquito bites where there were no mosquitoes." Caine reasoned, reaching out to gently touch his son's gray-white hand. "This is one of many reasons I believe they must find each other quickly. If he is not released soon, Peter may not survive. Still, it is a good sign."

"Excuse me? Frostbite can lead to amputation. You call that good?"

"The world Naomi described in her dreams and visions was windswept and deep in snow. If Peter has made his way to this world also, they cannot be far apart. Their journeys are almost finished."

"I hope so. Neither one of them has much left to give."

"They have... enough. I must go and prepare. You will stay?"

"Yeah, of course.... wait. Prepare what?"

"Herbs. Medicine and tea they will both need when they return. Your shaman.... he is afraid."

"Terrified is more like it. Naomi is the only family he has left."

"Once, but no longer. There are bonds that run deeper even than blood. The fear I speak of, however... is for you. Take care it does not turn to anger. All ties can break, no matter their strength."

Jim watched Caine glide from the room, then slowly took his place beside Peter and Naomi. Blair joined him a moment later, laying a comforting hand on his partner's shoulder.

"Hey. You need a break?"

"No, I'm good. Chief..... when this is all over.... we should talk."

"About what?"

"A lotta stuff. Caine said...."

"What? Is something wrong? Did he see something bad in our future?"

"Nothing like that. It's.... he made me realize...."

"Jim. Man, what's up? What did he say to upset you like this?"

"Later, when we know these two are alright. Right now, neither of us has the energy. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. You sure you're alright?"

"Fine. I could use something cold to drink, though."

"I can handle that. Hang on, I'll be right back."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

-------------------------

{That's the way, Peter. Keep moving toward the sound.... that's really good... I can hear you! Thank God, I can hear you again. I thought....}

"What? Hey, don't stop now. Talk to me. That boost you gave me's runnin' out... I need somethin' to... keep me on my feet..."

{It wasn't important. I'll tell you when you get here. What are you seeing, Peter? Tell me what's going on around you.}

"Less snow. I can... see better. It's still too damn cold.... I... I think the trees are thinning out.... yeah.... there's open space up ahead.... I don't know if... if I can make it that far, though...."

{You can. You have to. Don't give up now, not when you're almost home. It's just a few more yards.}

"Yards... might as well be.... m-miles..."

Breathing shallowly, Peter fell against a tree bracing himself with hands he could no longer feel. His forehead dropped forward to rest on the trunk and he felt his knees begin to fail him. Though unable to actually see him yet, Naomi sensed he had used up the last of his reserves and would be able to go no further without her help. Tears streaking down her face both in reality and in the frozen world she and Peter inhabited, Naomi envisioned the fuel pump once again and fed the young Sentinel all she had left to give.

Warmth and life rushing back to him suddenly, Peter straightened, pushed away from the tree and ran forward, out from among the last scrubby bushes and onto the open plain where Naomi waited for him. He found her lying in the snow, being watched over by a beautiful silver mare. Dropping to his knees at her side, Peter gathered her up and pulled her partially onto his lap, sobbing deeply and screaming out his anger and sorrow to the black, star-filled sky

"No, damn it! God... what the *hell* am I supposed to do now?! Tell me! I went through all that... the cold, the forest.... all so she could die in my arms?! No! No way! Give her back!"

A moment later, Peter's tirade was interrupted by the sensation of a large warm body being pressed against his back. He half turned to find that the panda had rejoined him at last.

//// It's okay, kid. She's not dead. It was close, though. You had about ten seconds to spare, but you made it. \\\\

"I... I don't understand."

//// Naomi did her job. She gave everything up to make sure you'd be alright. You got handed a good one, Aurelia. \\\\ he commented, addressing the mare.

//// Yes, I think so. Pity it took the two of them this long to find each other, but it's all worked out for the best. \\\\ the horse responded in a lilting, distinctly feminine voice.

//// He wasn't ready. He needed to grow up a lot. \\\\

//// He still does, but with his father *and* Naomi at his side, the rest of his maturing process should proceed without any problems. \\\\

////True. If the two of them can't handle him, I'm sure Jim would be willing to kick his ass when it needs it. How're Midnight and Lobo doing anyway? Heard from them lately? \\\\

"Excuse me! What my ass needs right now is a hot bath, a hot meal an' a fifth of JD. Think we can do that any time soon?"

//// Gimme a break, kid! I haven't seen Aurrie in a long time. I was tryin' to catch up. It is time to get you home, though, I guess. \\\\

//// Don't fret, Sam \\\\ Aurelia reminded him. //// Now that they've finally gotten together, we'll be seeing each other a lot more often. \\\\

//// True. Okay, Peter. Put an arm around my neck and hold tight to Naomi. We're outta here.... \\\\

--------------------------

"Mom?! God... Mom, wake up!"

Kneeling by his mother on the floor, Blair caressed her face over and over. Only moments before she had fallen from her seat and collapsed. Caine was tending to her when Blair and Jim rushed in, responding to the noise. "Is she okay?"

"Her heart is very weak. I must treat her immediately."

"Will she be okay?" Blair demanded grimly.

"I... cannot know. I will do all I can. Warrior. There is another cot in a storage room just beyond my office...."

Jim rushed off to comply before Caine had even completed his sentence.

"What can I do? How can I help?" Blair pleaded.

"Trust me. And trust Naomi."

7:30 A.M. :

Slumped in the hard, straight-backed chair that was all their host had been able to offer, Blair shook himself for the hundredth time in the past few hours, rubbed his eyes, then forced them open wide. Jim, standing behind him, tightened his grip on his partner's shoulder, hoping it would convey his concern.

"Chief... you need sleep and you need to eat. I'll stay with her, I promise. I won't leave her side for a minute."

"Look, back off, Jim, okay? I'm fine. I have to be here when she wakes up."

"Caine said that might not be 'till this afternoon. He said the herbs he gave her have a natural sedative effect..."

"I heard what he said, but he doesn't know my mom. She's tough. She'll be waking up any minute now, I'm sure of it." Blair retorted, swiping away an unwelcome tear before it could slip down his cheek and become evidence of his current lack of emotional control. Jim, however, didn't need any visible signs to know how close to the edge Blair was; he could hear it in the way he breathed and in the rapid, slightly erratic beat of his heart. Making a split second decision, Ellison gathered the other man easily into his arms and carried him to Naomi's unused pallet, which had been pushed into a corner to make room for Peter's cot.

"Damn, it Jim, cut it out! You're being a jerk! Let me go!"

Undeterred, Jim dropped to his knees on the thin mattress with Blair still in his arms. "Jim! Let me go right now! I mean it!"

"I know you do, Chief, but it's not gonna happen. You're gonna get a couple hours of solid sleep if I have to clock you on the jaw and knock you out cold." Jim countered, finally setting Blair down. "Do I have to do that?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Look in my eyes, Sandburg. Does it *look* like I wouldn't?"

A few seconds study of Jim's expression was all it took to convince Blair. Still, the younger man's gaze drifted back to his mother's tranquil form several feet away.

"I can't. You don't understand, Jim. If I'm not there when she comes to, she'll think...."

Despite the decision to censor himself, Jim believed he knew what Sandburg was worried about.

"You didn't abandon her, Blair. She knows that and she's always known it. You had to live your own life. That's not a crime and it doesn't mean you threw away everything she taught you."

"But... this is my fault, Jim. I should have realized it was possible that the Guide genetics passed down to me might have been from her and not my father.... I should have known... I should have kept in better touch with her. I... damn...."

Blair collapsed back against the wall, hands over his eyes as his control slipped a little more. Jim reached out and pulled the other man's hands down, grasping them between his own.

"Blair.... you might as well blame Sir Richard Burton for discovering our existence in the first place. Between school and the station and the sensory work you do with me.... your plate's overflowing already. Besides, she wasn't exactly fighting to keep the lines of communication open either."

"Don't say that! She tried! I pushed her away...."

Taking Blair's chin into one strong hand, Jim made his Guide look at him.

"That's not true and you know it. You were afraid to get too close.... afraid to start getting to know her again, because you'd just be separated when she drifted off like she always did. Well, now that she's found her Sentinel, she's obviously gonna be here in the States for a while. If their bond is as strong as ours is, maybe she'll be here permanently. Don't be afraid this time, Sandburg. Don't blow your second chance."

"I know.... I know you're right.... Caine... he said I have to teach her... that's why I need to.... I have to be there when she wakes up.... " Blair agreed quietly, his grip on Jim's remaining hand tightening a little.

"You will be, I swear it. The minute she shows the slightest sign, I'll come get you, okay? For now, lay down and get some sleep, damn it, or you won't be any good to her or yourself."

Reluctantly, Blair dropped onto his side and curled up, eyes slipping closed. Caine appeared at Jim's back holding a light blanket, which the Sentinel took gratefully, spreading it gently over his already sleeping partner. After another few moments of watching Blair to make sure his sleep would be peaceful, Jim rose to his feet and moved back to sit beside Naomi. Caine intervened.

"No. She is doing well. You also must sleep."

"I got a couple hours early this morning. I'm okay."

"She will wake when her body is ready. You can do nothing to speed the process. See to your own well being."

"I swore to Blair I'd stay with her. Don't worry about me. I've had to go days without sleep before. It's nothing I can't handle."

"Before is not now."

"Look..."

Suddenly, a raspy cough issued from the cot on the far side of the room and a welcome, if unexpected, voice broke into the middle of the argument.

"Whoever you are... give it up. You'll never win. He'll just... keep talking like that... until you either go insane... or do what he wants."

A pleased smile brightening his stern features, Caine rushed to his son's side. Jim followed, sensing he'd be brought into the ensuing conversation anyway.

"My son."

"Pop.... I feel like crap."

"This is to be expected. You have undergone a great ordeal."

"Ordeal I can get with... great, not so much. The lady... where is she? Is she okay?"

"She will be fine. She is still unconscious, but I do not believe it will last more than another few hours. Can you tell me what happened to you; what you experienced?"

Peter's expression suddenly turned solemn, sad and a little frightened.

"No. Not now. I'm still so wiped out. Later, maybe..."

"I understand."

"Who's he?" Peter asked, waving a hand vaguely at Jim.

"He is... a friend. Warrior Jim Ellison, this is my son Peter Caine."

"Warrior.... is that your title.... like Conan the Barbarian?" Peter chuckled, draping one weary arm over his eyes to shut out the dim light in the room. The gesture engendered a swift glance between the other two men, but they quickly refocused on Pete.

"Depends who you ask and when. You can just call me Jim. The whole, long story can wait 'till you're stronger."

"I completely agree. By the way... could you both quit yelling? Damn... wait a minute...."

For a few seconds, Peter looked as if he were struggling to remember something that hung just beyond his grasp. When it finally came back to him, he grinned faintly and seemed to turn his attention inward for a moment. "There. Better on all counts." He announced, allowing his arm to drop back to his side.

Jim gaped slightly then asked a question.

"If you just did.... how did you know how to do that?"

"How do *you* know what I did?" Peter countered, before realizing he'd heard the man's name before. Sam had spoken about someone named Jim just before he'd transported the newly bonded pair out of the frozen wasteland "Hang on a minute... Jim... you're the one he said would kick my ass.... you an' I need to have a talk...." the younger man began, sitting up partially. Caine eased him back down.

"That and everything else can wait, my son. Now you must rest and regain your strength."

"I'll rest when somebody tells me why a three-hundred pound panda thinks this guy I don't know from Adam is gonna kick any *part* of my anatomy...."

Shaking his head in confusion, Jim backed away slowly.

"What were those herbs you gave him again?" he asked the elder Caine nervously.

"Nothing that would cause hallucinations."

"I am not hallucinating!" Peter protested. "Skelany thought I was losin' my grip too, but the damn thing is real. I saw it!"

Understanding dawned in Jim's eyes.

"Wait a minute.... you're the only one who can see this panda?"

"Yeah."

"And it talks to you telepathically, right?"

"Yeah... okay, how the hell do you know all this?"

"What was Naomi's?"

"Huh? Who's.... oh. You mean the lady that... Yeah. Well, when I found her, there was this beautiful silver horse standing over her. A mare I think. Her voice was female at least."

Jim gazed from Peter to his father.

"Spirit animals. Blair and I have them too. Since my abilities came online in the jungle, and I guess because it meshes with my personality, mine is a black jaguar. Sandburg's is a wolf."

"Cleverness, loyalty, singleness of purpose and willingness to sacrifice all, even his life in defense of those he considers his pack. Yes... the wolf would suit him well." Kwai-Chang mused softly.

Jim's gaze now shifted to Blair's shape under the blanket. For a long moment, he studied his Guide's peaceful face intently, visually tracing the contours and planes and discovering a new stress line or two that he was sure hadn't been there a few weeks before. Despite this revelation, Jim smiled gently.

"Smart as a computer, dependable, ready to jump in and save somebody without hesitation... and able to sleep through World War Three. Yeah, that's Blair. Damn right, it is."

Ellison allowed himself another moment of contemplating his rarely- touched emotions then shook his head to clear it and turned his attention back to Peter. "Tell you what, kid. You were right about one thing; we do have a lot to talk about, but not now. Listen to your father and get some more rest. I'll be here when you're ready."

"I don't think so. I wanna know what's goin' on..."

Crouching, Jim placed a hand on Peter's chin the same as he had on Blair's. To his relief, it had a similar effect. Peter quieted and his eyes locked firmly onto the other man's.

"I'm not asking where you were or what you went through. That's yours to deal with and you'll tell me if you feel like it. What you need to know right now is that I've been there too. Not the same place, not the same fight.... but I've been there. You're not alone, Peter. Not by a long shot. Get it?"

Trembling faintly, the younger man nodded and responded in an uncertain voice.

"Yeah... yeah, I get it."

"Good. Now get some sleep. The next few days could be rough." Jim replied, pushing back up to his full height and walking a few steps away. Caine followed, silent, waiting for Jim to speak first. "I know there's not much room in here...."

"One of my students will be here in a few minutes with another cot. As I have canceled my classes for the day, you are free to use the main room of the dojo to sleep."

"Thanks."

"For a Warrior of your accomplishment.... I could do no less."

"Hold it. What has that brat Sandburg been telling you?"

Caine merely smiled, placed an easy hand in the middle of Jim's back and guided him out of the room without answering.

----------------------------------

Deep in his dreams, Blair moved slowly through a field of undulating grasses nearly as high as his head. His hands were stretched out to either side, not to grasp the stalks but simply to feel their subtle brush against his palms. When he felt the thump of a solid head against his knee, he searched for and found the edge of the thicket and began moving in that direction. He emerged into a lush green meadow walking side by side with his spirit guide, Lobo. Grinning, he dropped to the grass and greeted the wolf joyfully in his thoughts.

//// It's so good to see you. You haven't been around much, lately. \\\\

//// I know. It's hard work preparing for a new pair bond to be formed. We all had a part to play. You look weary and underfed. You're not taking care of yourself, cub. \\\\ Lobo chastised the human, butting him in the jaw with his muzzle to drive his point home. The blow was firm, but Blair knew it was out of concern, not anger and he grinned.

//// I'll eat when I wake up, I promise. Seeing her like that... so sick.... it threw me. My appetite went out the window and I couldn't stand to leave her alone long enough to sleep... \\\\

//// Naomi will be fine in another day or two. We would not go through all this work if the bond was only going to dissolve. \\\\

//// I understand that. It's a human thing. \\\\

//// Not exclusively. We fear for our mothers and pack leaders as you do. \\\\

Lobo yawned widely, tossed his head and snorted. //// Enough of this sorrowful talk, youngling. After all this time of sitting and consulting with the others, I feel a need to stretch my legs. Shall we run? \\\\

Laughing, Blair leapt to his feet and began to jog backwards, calling out to his spirit brother.

//// Try and catch me! \\\\

//// Well you know that is no effort for me, cub, but I will allow you your illusion of superiority for a few minutes at least. \\\\ Lobo taunted, chuckling as he loped after Blair.

EARLY THAT AFTERNOON:

Sitting cross-legged and twirling a leaf in her fingers, Naomi gazed at the field of wildflowers and grass through half-open eyes and sighed heavily. Fatigue and melancholy weighed her down, and the argument she'd been having with her animal spirit didn't make her feel any lighter or any more willing to rise to her feet and concede to Aurelia's insistent demands. When the mare spoke again, Naomi glowered up at her, crumpled the leaf and began to shred it.

//// Naomi.... you cannot stay here. This is not your place. \\\\

//// I can't go back. I won't. \\\\

//// Your son and your Sentinel need you, Naomi. You need them even more. It's time to take your place in the ancient line. \\\\

//// Don't you understand? I failed the test... I'm not strong enough to be Peter's Guide. \\\\

//// You did not fail. You did precisely what was asked of you. You made the necessary sacrifice to see your Sentinel to the end of his journey. The act you are now contemplating, however.... it is not sacrifice. \\\\

//// I'm tired. I gave him all I had. I need to rest.... \\\\

//// No. You must not allow your fear and self-doubt to overwhelm you, Naomi Sandburg. The bond is formed, but it must be continually reinforced. Without you at his side, Peter will not survive. This is a critical time for you both. \\\\

//// You're saying if I let go.... Peter will die? \\\\

//// Perhaps. Or simply lose touch with reality. It has happened many times to Sentinels abandoned by their bonded Guides. \\\\

//// I... I have no idea what I'm doing. Blair had studied, he knew exactly what to do to help Jim.... \\\\

//// Granted, your son understood far more than most Guides at the time of bonding, but "exactly what to do" are not the words I would use at all. You know very well that their first few months together were difficult. Blair's enthusiasm met Jim's taciturnity and skepticism and....\\\\

//// Ka-boom. Head on collision, big fireball. I know. I'm sorry, Aurelia, but I can't help it if I'm frightened. I don't have Blair's knowledge.... his experience..... \\\\

//// Of course you do, just as Peter will have Jim's. Did you believe the two of them would simply walk away and leave you and your Sentinel to find your way alone? \\\\

//// No.... I just thought.... they have jobs, lives of their own.... \\\\

//// So does Peter. \\\\ Aurelia reminded her, lowering her nose for a brief, comforting nuzzle against Naomi's cheek. //// You have made your sacrifice, Naomi. Now the men in your life will do what is required of them. Come. It is time to awaken and lift at least one burden from your son's heart. \\\\

//// Alright. \\\\ Naomi replied, finally standing. She patted and stroked Aurelia's neck gently, using the connection to calm herself. //// If I need you, how do I find you? \\\\

//// The farewell scene at the end of "E.T." says it better than I can. Peace to you, Naomi..... \\\\

//// "E.T." ? What in the world is that supposed to mean....\\\\

Before she could cajole a straight answer out of the silver mare, the meadow dissolved and cool darkness curled around Naomi. As she slowly labored to regain consciousness, the sounds of the dojo gradually began to reach her ears, enticing her to open her eyes a little. Caine was at her side in a moment.

"Welcome back. Your journey was longer than expected."

"Y-you ever try to argue with a female horse?" she rasped, coughing slightly and trying to sit up. "I thought camels were the most stubborn beasts on earth...."

"Be still. You must rest."

"I've been resting. I need to see Peter...."

"He is well. You are not." Caine informed her. Concerned, she lay back down.

"What? I don't understand. What happened?"

"Your.... heart was strained. You will recover fully, but you must remain still."

"Yes. I can see how...."

Noticing Caine staring at her curiously, Naomi left the sentence unfinished. "Could I have a cup of tea?"

"Of course. Rest. I will return."

Naomi watched him go, then sat up again, laying both hands over her face. Despite Aurelia's assurances, she feared the weight that had been placed on her shoulders would prove to be too much. Though she tried to suppress it, a quiet sob escaped her, resulting in three men rushing to kneel or crouch beside her. Sensing she was no longer alone, she pulled her hands away from her eyes and the sob transformed into a laugh.

"Mom?! Thank God.... are you hurt? Are you in pain?"

"Naomi, are you alright?" Jim echoed, one hand on her arm, the other on Blair's shoulder. The smaller man had been deeply asleep, but somehow his mother's cry had reached him where he ran and played with Lobo and Blair had woken instantly.

"I'll be fine. Not in the next five minutes, but...."

"That's okay. As long as you're awake and talking to me, that's all I need right now...." he told her tearfully, hugging her. "I thought I lost you...."

"I'm tough, Blair. You know that. You won't lose me, honey, not anytime soon."

Out of the corner of her eye, Naomi saw Peter staring at her in wonder. Gently she extricated herself from her son's embrace and turned to the neophyte Sentinel, taking his hand. "It wasn't a nightmare or a fever dream, Peter. I'm real. All of it was real."

"I know. I can't wrap my head completely around it yet.... but I know I didn't make it all up."

"Give it time." Jim counseled. "Being what we are.... it's a process. You've got a lot of territory to cover, but you don't have to step off just yet, okay? Relax and catch your breath."

"We? We who?"

"Sentinels and Guides."

"Sentinel? What the hell's a Sentinel?"

"Later. Naomi needs to take it easy and the rest of us need to eat."

"I agree." Caine intoned, re-entering the small space with Naomi's tea. He handed it to her then turned to his son. "Take the others and go out to dinner. I will look after Naomi until you return. And Peter..."

"Yeah?"

"Telephone Mary Margaret before you leave."

"Skelany been buggin' the livin' hell outta you, has she?" Peter asked with a grin.

"Something like that." Caine confirmed. "We both worry about you doing foolish things. With good reason."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pop."

"Your confidence does not need my support. Go."

"Okay, okay. How would you guys feel about a couple thick porterhouse steaks with huge potatoes on the side, loaded with sour cream and bacon?"

"Sounds about right for a barbarian." Jim joked. "Blair?"

"I did promise Lobo I'd eat the minute I got up. I don't think he understands me going veggie so much, though."

"Lobo?" Peter asked

"Another topic for after dinner. Food first, deep philosophical discussion later."

"Yeah, but...."

The other two over-ruled him and, once his phone call was completed, ushered Peter out of the dojo and into a cab.

TWO HOURS LATER

"That was awesome, Pete. They do a fantastic steak here." Jim commented, tossing his napkin onto his plate.

"Yeah. The veggie lasagna was terrific too. I'm gonna have to try that combo of bok choy and eggplant at home. Maybe add some cloud's ear mushrooms instead of the shitake...." Blair added.

"Not in my kitchen."

" *Our* kitchen...."

"One a'these days you need to write your own book. ' Don't Cry If It Blows Up: Surviving Disasters in Experimental Health Food '. "

"Watch it...."

"Guys.... we, uh... we should get back... see how Naomi's doing." Peter suggested through his laughter.

"Yeah. We've got some talking to do too." Jim reminded them.

"I haven't had dessert yet." Blair complained.

"I'll get you an organic, soy-milk ice cream cone on the way back, Darwin. Let's go." Jim teased.

"Very funny, Jim, but you know damn well it wouldn't hurt you to cut some of the fat out of your diet...." Blair countered, grabbing his jacket off the chair and striding after the other two, who walked several feet ahead.

"Does he do that kinda thing to you all the time?"

"Every chance he gets."

"And Naomi taught him to eat like that?"

"Uh-huh." Jim replied with a grin.

"Man. Pop's already on my back night an' day about my diet. I don't care who Naomi's supposed to be. Maybe she saved my life, but if she touches my stash of Doritos and Ben and Jerry's.... I'll have to hurt her."

Jim's only reply was a booming laugh.

--------------------------------

An hour later, the three men sat talking together on the floor in the main room of the dojo. After reassuring Blair myriad times that she would survive if he wasn't two inches from her side, Naomi had settled into a normal sleep. Caine had gone into his own quarters to rest as well, leaving only Blair, Jim and Peter awake.

So far the effort to convince Peter of his new status was proceeding very slowly, but he was finally beginning to accept what had happened to him and understand that his life would never again be what it was. He wasn't exactly thrilled about the change.

"It won't be the last one, trust me." Jim laughed. "You've got a lot to learn and even more to adjust to, but you can do it."

"I'm not half as sure as you are. I mean.... it's been less than a year since my father and I found each other again. I'm still feelin' my way back into his world.... tryin' to figure out how to be his son an' not lose what I've built with my adoptive dad. I don't know if I can handle this... Sentinel thing at the same time. Plus my work schedule is hell sometimes...."

"Hey, you think we don't know?" Blair chimed in. "I'm working on my doctorate at college, student teaching, working with Jim to help him through all his Sentinel stuff, plus I'm with him at the station as often as I can be. And my relationship with Naomi has never been lollipops and roses, man. My dad.... I never even knew who my dad was."

Peter looked curiously at Jim.

"Not yet. Maybe after I know you a few years you'll get the map to my family dynamic. As for the rest.... it is what it is. Besides Blair, only my Captain and one other detective know what I can do. Having to keep who and what I am hidden from everybody I work with, dealing with new sides to my power when they come up, keeping my emotions and my instincts in balance.... it's not what you'd call a walk in the park on a sunny day. Let's just say that between Blair and me, we've pretty much blown away the accepted definition of what's humanly possible."

Peter lowered his head for a moment, deep in thought, then raised and shook it, grinning lightly.

"Okay... overload on the horizon. I've absorbed about as much as I can for tonight." He said, standing and stretching. "Tell my father I went back to my place, wouldya? I may not see him for a couple days. I need to be by myself.... let everything filter."

"Sure, man. We get that. We've been through it." Blair told him, rising too and shaking Peter's hand. "We'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. After work probably. About six.""

"Hope so." Jim added, moving slowly onto his feet as Peter walked out. He then looked to Blair, who had a strangely sad expression on his face. "What is it, Chief?"

"There's so much I wanna be able to tell them.... to warn them about."

"Like?"

"Don't set up a pattern of letting him blow off the training. It's too important and it may save both your lives down the road. Keep him in the world 'cause Sentinels can get too much in into their own heads and it's not always good for them. Then there's, ' Hey, Naomi. There's gonna come a time, probably a couple years down the road, when Peter pushes you away and acts like he can't stand to be around you anymore. You'll think he's being an oblivious jerk, but he doesn't mean it. It's a time of testing and you need to see it through together or neither one of you will make it out the other side.' Stuff like that."

The older man winced and grasped Blair's shoulders tightly. Jim knew precisely what Blair was describing and it was acutely painful to still hear so much tension and buried anguish in his young Guide's voice over an incident that was many months behind them. Jim knew that eventually all the sludge would come out and be dealt with, but at that moment neither of them were quite ready, so he let it go.

"You can't. Whatever their trials are.... they have to get through 'em on their own. That's how it works. Their bond has to be strong enough to handle anything. Like ours is."

Blair sighed deeply.

"Let's leave Caine a note with Peter's message and head back to the hotel, okay?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

THE NEXT MORNING:

"I need you here. Both of you."

"I get that, Simon, but what am I supposed to do? I can't just ask Sandburg to leave Naomi here alone."

"She won't come back with him?"

"I explained this, Simon. Peter and Naomi are bonded as Sentinel and Guide, but it's a brand new connection, which means it's fragile. They can't be separated right now and we can't just leave them to figure all this out on their own. I know it's a hell of a request, but.... if anyone can manage it you can."

"Yeah, yeah. any more butter from you and I'll have to go find some popcorn. I'm not guaranteeing anything..."

"I know."

"It'll take at least a week to get everything pushed through. Maybe longer."

"The two of them will need time to settle in and start training anyway. Thanks, Simon."

"Don't thank me. I haven't accomplished this bureaucratic miracle yet."

"You will."

"You pray. Go pack your bags and get ready to come home."

"See you in a couple days." Jim replied, punching the off key on his cell phone and grinning wildly.

"What's that smile for?" Blair asked as he strolled out of the bathroom freshly showered and shaved, but still buttoning his shirt.

"It's hopeful, Chief. That's all."

"No it isn't all. I can see that much in your eyes."

"I just got the ball rolling on something with Simon. Let's go have breakfast, come back an' get packed and then find Pete and Naomi. We have things to discuss and plans to make."

LUNCH TIME: THE STATION:

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah. We're looking for Detective Caine. I'm Jim Ellison, this is my partner Blair Sandburg."

"Detective Skelany, nice to meet you. Pete's over at his desk bitching and licking his wounds." Skelany informed them, pointing behind her.

"Oh, no. What'd he do?" Blair chuckled

"Not him, me. I warned him if he got himself in trouble in that warehouse I'd wipe the floor with his ass. Maybe now he'll believe I keep my promises."

Blair now gave her a full grin.

"Ohhhh. So.. what'd *you* do?"

"Took him into the department gym first thing this morning and knocked his block off in hand to hand practice."

The two men both smothered their delighted responses when they saw Peter glaring at them. Jim thanked Skelany and the pair moved off toward Peter's desk.

"We better talk to him an' get him outta here for a while, Chief."

"Yeah. By the looks of the shiner on his right eye, he could be planning a nasty bit of revenge. Peter. Hey, what's up, man?"

"Half my face." He responded bitterly.

Blair smiled sympathetically.

"I can see that. Your friend told us about the gym. You feel like gettin' outta here and drowning your sorrows?"

"Depends. In what?"

"I don't know.... how about a double cheeseburger and a triple thick chocolate shake? My treat."

Peter glanced at his watch then looked back up, a pleased grin gracing the un-bruised side of his face. Jim stared at his partner in shock and confusion. "What?"

"I cannot believe you just suggested that, Sandburg."

"C'mon, Jim, since when have I been against occasional comfort food? Don't I make you my Mexican mac and cheese casserole when you're sick?"

"Only when it's a cold and only because I can't take medicine and the hot salsa helps clear my sinuses...."

"Wait a minute, not two months ago I went out and bought you a whole pint of Chubby Hubby because you had a headache...."

"You said that was to stop me from whining, which I wasn't doing by the way..."

Sensing the argument could go on for hours if he let it, Pete sighed, stood and moved around the desk, stepping between the other two men.

"Guys, guys... enough, okay? Man this is not looking good for my future relationship with grease and salt." He chuckled, though there was a dejected undertone to the sound. Jim slapped him gently on the back and confirmed his fears as they headed out to lunch.

"No... no it doesn't. Just don't let her take over the cooking. If you make that mistake you'll be drinking algae and eating boiled bulgar wheat and tofu for the rest of your life...."

"Algae? The stuff they clean off pools and fish tanks? You have *got* to be kidding me."

"Wish I was, bud, wish I was...."

---------------------------------

After picking up Naomi and deciding on a restaurant where everyone could satisfy their lifestyle of choice, the group finally sat down and began to peruse menus. His taste-buds set for a hamburger, Peter quickly chose one from the brief list and laid the folder aside. When the waiter approached, he ordered his usual, but hesitated in the middle at a dark look from Blair.

"Double cheese burger. Make it pepper jack and smother it in chipotle barbe.... cue. What?"

Blair shook his head imperceptibly. Peter got the message, but wasn't happy about it. "Spicy fries?"

Another head shake. The younger man scowled blackly and changed his order.

"On second thought... just the cheeseburger, but salt it well. And plain fries. One of your extra thick shakes, too."

"Nothing on your burger, sir?"

"No." he replied sourly.

Once the others had ordered and the waiter left, Pete confronted Blair, but quietly to keep the other patrons unaware. "Okay, what was that about?"

"Taste is a sense, Pete. Until you start learning control, anything can overwhelm you; bright light, loud noise, intense flavor.... you just have to be careful for a while. After you've been working on it a few weeks, you can start slowly introducing things back into your diet, but there may always be one or two that are too much. Those you'll have to let go of permanently."

The others made light conversation until the waiter brought their drinks, but Peter slumped a bit in his chair and sulked, constructing a depressing mental list of all the beloved foods he would have to do without until he had some training under his belt. When his shake was placed before him, he straightened and reached for it eagerly, his mood improving at the sight of something he *could* still have. Before Blair could speak, the other had drawn a considerable amount up the straw and into his mouth; in fact it was too much too fast. Simultaneously, the cold fluid ignited an ice cream headache and the chocolate blasted across his tongue and over his palate. In seconds he was submerged deep within the dual sensations. The room around him dissolved into a haze of intense brightness and flickering shadows and Peter slipped away.

"Pete? Damn, we told him about this last night...." Jim growled.

"He had way too much to absorb. We knew he wouldn't be able to hold onto everything. He's also as stubborn and impulsive as you are. Must be a Sentinel thing...." Blair mumbled back, reaching over to pull the straw from Peter's mouth and fingers.

"Can you get him back?"

"No. It isn't my job." He said, turning to his mother with a piercing gaze.

Naomi blanched and pulled back in her seat.

"No... I haven't.... I don't know how...."

"You do know. You're his Guide, Naomi. Noone can tell you how to do this.... and noone needs to. Do what feels right."

"Blair...."

"I believe in you. Go on.... use your connection. Reach him through the bond, mom. You can do it..."

Her expression filled with terror and uncertainty, Naomi moved her chair closer to Peter's and grasped his still hands with her trembling ones. When the waiter approached, concerned about the suddenly silent young man, Jim explained the situation away as a mild epileptic seizure and the other retreated.

"Peter.... come back. It's alright now, darling. It's safe. Everything's just fine...."

"That's it, mom. Good.... keep going."

---------------------------------

Trapped inside his own mind, seeing only shifting columns of fog and smoke, Peter flailed at the insubstantial walls of mist around him, frantic to find a way out. Once he'd worn himself out trying to escape on his own, he finally remembered the lessons he'd re-learned while moving through the forest of his childhood.

% be at peace, my son..... quiet your mind..... open yourself completely.... knowledge, wisdom, direction; all will flow to you as easily as water if you are at peace....%

Gradually, Peter calmed his anxiety. Spreading his feet a little and dropping his chin to his chest, he worked to slow his racing heart and began to listen for the voice that would lead him back to the world. As his pulse dropped closer to normal, no longer pounding and roaring, the sound he was searching for reached his ears.

{Peter... Peter, don't do this, please. Come back to me. Focus on my voice and follow it, just like you did before. You can do this. Try, Peter..... I told you I'm not giving up on you and I meant it, but you have to try!}

Grudgingly, Peter's eyes finally shifted beneath his lids and his hands curled and uncurled against the tablecloth.

"Peter? Oh, thank God... you're alright."

"Wha... what happened?"

"You zoned."

"You mean... that thing you were talkin' about last night... actually happened?"

"Yeah. You were out for almost an hour. I told the waiter to make our orders take-out." Jim explained.

"God, my head hurts.... an' I'm so tired I can hardly move."

"Hit me that way the first time, too. You shouldn't go back to work."

"I have to. The warehouse stake-out's been reset for tonight....."

Naomi caressed his hand tenderly, but the look in her eyes was stern.

"No arguments. If Jim says you need to go home, you go home."

"Actually.... why don't we all take our meals back to the hotel?" Blair suggested. "Jim and I have some things we wanted to talk over with both of you."

"You don't get it! I've worked my ass off to get on this stake-out team. That stupid panda ruined it last time, I'm not blowin' it off again."

Standing, Blair rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Cops.... inflexible, infuriating .... Neanderthals! How have I lived with you for over two years without killing you?" he asked Jim just before stalking out of the restaurant.

Jim sat back on his chair and released a sigh of his own.

"Pete.... how do you really feel right now?"

"I'm tired... okay, I'm dead weight, but I'll get better...."

"Trust me, you won't. Not right away, anyhow. After my first zone, it took three full days before I was back to a hundred percent again. Call your Captain and beg off."

"All I have to do is sit in a car!"

"And if the perps show up and you can barely stumble, never mind run? If your arm feels so heavy you can't lift it to point your weapon?"

"Damn it...."

"I know how hard it is to stay awake on stake-out when it's been a normal day. Right now, you're no good to anybody. Come back to the hotel, we'll eat, we'll talk.... then one of us will take you home."

Reluctantly, Peter nodded. One arm around Jim's shoulder he shuffled to the register where the other man collected and paid for the four plastic take-out containers. Together the trio joined Blair at the curb and they all took a cab back to the hotel.

PART 12

Once all four had finished their dinner, Peter seemed to have regained most of his energy, but Jim and Blair weren't fooled. They knew it wouldn't last more than another hour or so if he tried to do anything even faintly active.

"So? What was it you guys wanted to talk to us about?" Peter asked, sipping on a plastic cup of soda.

"Coming up to live in Cascade for a while." Jim answered directly.

"Washington? Yeah, I guess I could get take a leave of absence."

"That's not exactly what we're saying, Pete." Blair continued. "Jim talked to our captain, Simon Banks, and he's working out a transfer with your captain. Only if you agree of course."

"What? No way! I found my pop barely a year ago.... I like the people I work with here.... Forget it. I can't."

"No, what you *can't* do is handle all this on your own. You both need training and time to get to really know each other... to strengthen your bond. We've been through the start-up pains and we know how dangerous it could be to leave the two of you alone right now. Please.... think before you just refuse the offer out of hand."

"And if I think and I still decide I can't just pick up and leave?"

"Then I guess the only other option is for Jim and I to transfer down here for six months."

"Six.... This training could take that long?!"

"Maybe longer. It depends how attentive you are and how well you absorb what we try and teach you."

"If today is any indication, we may be here for the next two years." Jim grumbled under his breath. Blair, well accustomed to picking up his barely voiced complaints, half turned and responded.

"Please! Like you weren't the most stubborn, proud, cynical male on the planet when I found you..."

"You found me? That's rich! Remind me, junior; whose little half-way to condemned warehouse blew up 'cause he had no idea a street gang was running a drug lab in the building right next door?"

"I had my own life! What they did was their business!"

"Until their *business* went boom and took your so-called home with it." Jim smirked.

"That wasn't my fault, and you're damned right I found you!"

"Yeah? Who picked who out of a pile of rubble that used to be his life?"

"That would be me." Blair replied quietly and solemnly, his expression one of absolute conviction. Stunned, Jim's smile faded rapidly as the truth of Blair's statement struck home. " 'Course it's you too. We were always meant to be Sentinel and Guide, Jim. We would have found each other eventually, no matter what got in the way. Who gives a damn if I got peanut butter on your chocolate or you got chocolate in my peanut butter?"

Slowly recovering his composure, Jim reached out and tousled Blair's curls roughly.

"You're right, kid. I'm sorry. It's just...."

".... been a tough few days. I know. I'm sorry too."

Peter and Naomi watched the interaction surreptitiously, while pretending to be engrossed in other things, then turned to each other.

"Look, ma'mm..."

"Lord, I'm not a hundred years old yet! My name is Naomi."

"Okay. Naomi... I don't know if I can ever get that close to anyone.... even somebody's who's supposed to be... whatever it is you're supposed to be. I was only twelve when I lost everything. My home was burned to the ground, I thought my father was dead. Since then I don't do real well at... committing to stuff. I have this bad habit of running before I start to care too much."

"But your job... and Kwai-Chang...."

"Exceptions to the rule, at least so far. I've been gettin' this bad feeling lately.... like it was time to let go before fate or whatever took it all away from me again...."

"If you're going to make a change, don't let your fear be the reason. Do it because it's the right choice to make and the right moment to make it. Listen to your heart, darling. Pay attention to what it's really telling you."

"I... I don't know how anymore...."

"Yes you do. Karma doesn't send anything back to us that we haven't earned, Peter. You were an innocent child, cruelly robbed of the only life you knew. That was a horrible thing, but you weren't left alone afterwards, were you?"

"No. I had a friend of my father's... another priest. I was only with him for about a year before he died, but he was really good to me."

"And after that?"

"I found a.... a great foster family." Peter told her, revelation slowly dawning n his face.

"You see? The universe keeps giving you gifts, sweetheart. Discovering your Sentinel abilities.... that's just one more. If your heart is saying it's time to move on, you need to look deeper than your fear and find the real reason."

"You mean.... just because one thing was stolen from me.... I let myself turn into this person who's so afraid of losing *everything* else I love.... that the risk got to be too much and... and I stopped caring."

Naomi nodded and took Peter's hands in hers.

"You let yourself be overwhelmed by fear of loss and you'll stay overwhelmed until you figure out the truth."

"What truth?"

"That you never really lost anything you weren't compensated for. Your home was taken, but you had one more year with a beloved teacher. You lost your teacher, but you were accepted and loved by a wonderful family. Because of that family, you were led into a job you obviously enjoy and excel at. The universe even saw fit to bring your father back into your life."

"Karma.... I don't believe in all that mumbo-jumbo, but... to hear you tell it.... I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but it makes some kinda weird sense."

Abruptly, Pete felt the eyes of the other two men boring holes in his neck. He turned and found both Jim and Blair staring at him intently, their jaws hanging slightly open as if a major revelation had just swept over them.

"What? What is it?"

Blair swallowed hard and looked at Jim briefly before replying.

"I... I never knew my dad. Mom wouldn't talk about him. She still doesn't."

"My mom left when I was a kid. It ended up the same way.... we acted like she never existed in the first place."

Naomi's own jaw dropped a little when she realized where the conversation was going. After a moment to regain her composure, she added her own contribution.

"My parents and I are... I suppose the kindest word is estranged. They were well-positioned in our community.... they never approved of my life and the way I felt I needed to live it. Once he was old enough, I encouraged Blair to write to his grandparents and to my brother and sister. The two of them and all his cousins still keep in close touch, but Mother and Father chose not to make the effort." Naomi admitted, swiping away an escaped tear.

"Hey, don't do this to yourself, mom. It was their loss. I'm okay with it and I have been for a long time."

"I know, sweetie. I'm not crying over their ignorance. I think I'm starting to see a paisley here, that's all. You know I always get emotional when one of those comes along...."

"Yeah. I'm seeing it too, mom." Blair replied, grinning.

"A paisley? I just know I'm gonna regret asking, Sandburg, but what, besides the world's ugliest fabric, is a paisley?"

"It's just Naomi's word for a pattern in the universe or the natural world that you never noticed before. It hits like a flash, and all of a sudden you see how things fit together that you thought didn't, or you realize that something in your life that seemed to be a negative was really just ordained and meant to be and WHAM! in, like, a flat second you accept whatever it is you've been fighting against for so long and you incorporate it into your being, no muss, no fuss. It's not that unusual a concept, actually. Almost every culture in history has developed a word or a pictogragh that kinda means the same thing...."

At this point Jim reached out and gently placed both hands over Blair's mouth. The younger man smiled sheepishly behind the flesh gag as the lecture he was warming up to cooled off again.

"You done?"

"Yesh, Jmm."

"Good."

As Jim retrieved his hands, Peter gazed at Naomi in wonder.

"If Ellison hadn't done that.... how long would the kid have kept on?"

"No telling. There was a night... we were spending the summer in Tibet, if I recall.... Blair spoke for an hour straight, barely giving himself space to breathe. The monks wanted him to stay and show them his method of breath control. They thought it would improve their singing, I think. They were stunned when he said he didn't really have a technique. Noone had ever let him talk as long as he wanted to before and it just happened. Of course, they wanted him to stay even more once they heard that it was a natural quality, but I convinced them we had to go. I'd promised a friend we'd meet him in Bombay three weeks from the previous Tuesday and, I have to tell you, we barely made it on time..."

After receiving a curt nod of approval from Jim, Peter swiftly applied the older cop's method of gaining much-needed silence. Naomi quieted, then gazed at her Sentinel curiously. After a moment, she smiled and spoke as well as she could behind the fingers covering her mouth.

"Yesh, Peter."

Jim chuckled as Peter retreated.

"You learn fast, Pete."

"That's not what you thought a minute ago."

Jim's eyebrows went up.

"Practicing?"

"No need. I heard you loud and clear without using this... weird thing I've suddenly got. I'm a cop, remember? Observant?"

"Granted, but how's your memory? You made a decision yet?"

"Almost. I need to talk to my father and The Ancient.... straighten stuff out at work. God, sayin' goodbye's gonna be a bitch..."

"Your father will understand, Peter." Naomi assured him. "I think somehow that he knew this was coming."

"I wouldn't be surprised, but... it's not him. There's somebody at work I'm just startin' to.... get to know. I'm gonna have to do this goodbye in private, 'cause man.... they're guaranteed to send up a mushroom cloud when they explode."

Blair smiled.

"The dark haired one? With the great legs and the wicked hand to hand technique?"

Peter hesitated, but in the end he chose to lie, fearing the others wouldn't understand.

"Yeah, her. I've had people tell me I'm a pistol before, but her.... she's a 44. Magnum."

"No argument here." Jim said, rising and gathering the takeout containers, soda cans and plastic cups.

"We'll be here through late afternoon tomorrow." Blair informed Peter. "I know it'll take a couple weeks to get everything for the move taken care of, but.... if you at least make your choice...."

"I promise to....yahhhh.... to let you know." the young man confirmed, smothering an enormous yawn and forcing his eyes open a little wider.

Coming back from dumping the trash, Jim shook his head.

"Sorry, Pete. Looks we wore you out. Time to get you home."

"I keep tellin' you... arrrhnn... I'm fine...."

"Right. That dentist's-eye view of your back teeth just said different. I'll call a cab." Jim insisted, turning to pull the local phone book from the night-stand drawer. By the time he'd found the taxi listings, however, Blair was speaking softly to him.

"Jim... Jim, don't bother. Look...."

Ellison did and discovered Peter had toppled sideways on the bed and was snoring gently.

"Damn..." Jim swore quietly.

"Aww, he's cute. Let him sleep. I'm macho enough to share a bed if you are."

Jim grimaced and looked like he wanted to vent one or two much more colorful curses, but he gave in.

Half an hour after Naomi had been taxied back to the dojo and Jim and Blair had showered and climbed into bed, Peter cracked one eye open and lay perfectly still, allowing his eyes to adjust. Once he was sure the other men were soundly asleep, he slid off the bed, moved silently to the door and slipped out of the room. As he moved down the stairs to ground level, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number for his favorite taxi company from memory. When it arrived he directed the driver to get him back to the 101st precinct, where he retrieved his car and headed off to the stakeout site, noting gleefully, as he glanced at his watch, that he'd only be late by a few minutes at most.

Part 13

Realizing he was slowly drooping farther and farther down in his seat, Peter straightened, tapped himself on both cheeks and downed a slug of the iced coffee he'd stopped to buy on the way to the stakeout. After a minute or two and a reviving shiver, he cranked down the window for fresh air and began to quietly remind himself of the rewards he'd receive if this operation came out well.

"C'mon, Caine. Wake up, damn it! You're not just proving something to yourself here, you're showing those two rain-on-the- brain cops what you're made of. Tired? Me? Ha. Not in this lifetime. I worked too hard to earn a spot on this stakeout and I'm not givin' it up! Besides, I've got a rep to maintain.... never fallen asleep on a stakeout yet, an' I'm not starting with this one!"

Despite his resolve, Peter began to drift in and out of consciousness again a few minutes later. When the moment he'd been waiting three hours for finally arrived, he almost missed it. Only the sound of a truck slowly pulling into the bay of the warehouse a few yards away caught his attention and brought his chin off his chest. Drawing his gun, he pushed the door of the car open just enough to slip out and moved cautiously toward the warehouse entrance, ignoring the numbness in his legs and shoving aside the lightheadedness and shaking that were suddenly assaulting him. Even as the sensations got worse, he continued on, desperately focusing on the task ahead of him; making sure that the weapons in the truck never saw the hands of the gang-members that would use them indiscriminately to slaughter rivals and innocents alike.

Finally, he reached the warehouse and leaned gratefully against the wall a foot or so from the door, catching his breath and trying to rally his failing reserves of energy. Just as he felt ready to make a move, however, the world in front of him exploded with light and sound and he screamed. While half a dozen officers and the other members of the stakeout team descended on the warehouse, all Peter could manage was curses and cries forced through clenched teeth. As agony ripped through his head, his gun clattered to the pavement and he dropped to his knees. The icy barrel of someone else's gun being pressed to his temple momentarily made the pain worse, but the metal was pulled away immediately and Peter was soon collapsing sideways into Skelany's arms, keening out his misery and sheltering his face in her neck.

"Meg, he okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Just get in there and make sure all the exits are covered, okay?"

"You got it, detective."

"Pete.... what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be home resting, you idiot! I almost had you in cuffs, damn it! I could've shot you..... crap. Pete? What's wrong? Pete! Oh, God...."

Fumbling her cell phone out of her pocket, Skelany dialed a familiar number. "Caine? It's... how do you do that? Never mind. Peter.... yeah, same place as before. I don't know.... okay. Yes, I promise, no hospital. Just hurry."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

"Is he okay, Caine?"

"Yes. He is.... running on fumes, I believe you call it, but he will recover in a day or two if he rests."

"Pete rest? Maybe if you chain him to something heavy. Interested in borrowing my handcuffs?"

"I have my own methods. They are also... effective."

"I'm sure they are."

A few moments later Peter stirred and blinked up at his father. When the revolving, tinted lights of the police cars struck his eyes, however, he instantly closed them again, his expression twisting as renewed pain spiked through his head.

"Pop?"

"I am here."

"I... I'm sorry... you don't understand... I had to be here...."

"Be still, foolish child."

"Pop...."

"He's right. You acted like a spoiled little boy, now stop talking." Another voice chimed in, the tone shot through with obvious fury.

"Shit... Naomi...."

"You should know, Peter, that I never once used corporal punishment on Blair, but that doesn't mean I don't know how it works. As immature as you've been tonight, I think the universe would forgive me if I took advantage of your weakness, tossed you over my knee and spanked you until my arm fell off, but I don't want that on my karmic balance sheet, so listen to your father... and be quiet."

Unable to deal with his Guide's anger or the world in general anymore, Peter followed orders, whined faintly and buried his head back in Mary Margaret's shoulder. She gazed at him critically.

"Ohhhh, no you don't. You may be cute, but cuteness doesn't buy my sympathy. Caine, you wanna take him off my hands please?"

Peter's father nodded, reached down and easily lifted the young cop up and onto his feet.

"If you would tell Captain Blaisdell that Peter's illness was more serious than I first believed, I would be... grateful."

"No problem. I can't exactly keep tonight a secret, though.... I mean, other cops saw him here...."

"It is alright. Go and do your job, Detective. Thank you for caring for Peter."

"He doesn't make it easy...." she replied, watching the trio walk to Peter's car then turning back to check on the status of the warehouse bust.

-------------------------

"That can't be right. He's in.... okay, he's not in bed. Mom, calm down... He did what?! No. No, don't bring him back here. He's your Sentinel, you ream him out. You did? What'd you.... that's more like a formal reprimand, mom.... You threatened to spank him? Whoa, you are ticked! Mom.... no, you're right, you don't need that on your record.... okay. Okay, I'll see you for breakfast.... the little diner next to the hotel. Good. Okay. Yes, mom. Night. Morning, whatever. Bye."

Slowly lifting his head, Jim turned sleep-dazed eyes on Blair.

"What is it? Emergency?"

"Could've been. Caine and Naomi handled it. Seems Peter waited for us to fall asleep, slipped out and went to the stakeout anyway."

This news brought Jim the rest of the way out of sleep. He whipped his head around to check the second bed, found it empty and returned his furious gaze to Blair.

"That conniving little.... Is he okay?"

"He will be. When the bust went down the lights and all the noise put him in a world of hurt, but that other cop, Skelany, was there for him. She called in the cavalry and watched over him 'till they showed up. Mom says we'll get the whole story at breakfast." Blair replied, settling back down and adjusting his pillow. Jim sat up.

"Is she bringing him back here?"

"No. They're taking him back to the dojo. She says Caine's got just the thing for keeping Pete in one place until he's a hundred percent again."

Nodding slightly, Jim went still for a long moment, then slid out of their shared bed and moved to the empty one. Blair opened his mouth to provide a gentle protest, but when Jim turned onto his side, presenting his back to his partner, the words froze in Sandburg's throat and he forced them back down. Punching his pillow, he too turned away and tried to drift back to sleep, but it never happened.

BREAKFAST:

"Mom, don't look at me like that. If he actually *were* four years old instead of just *acting* like it, maybe I would have kept a closer eye on him, but he's a grown man."

"It's not really you I'm disappointed in, sweetheart. It's me. I'm doubting myself.... and I don't like it. It's disrupting the proper flow of my Chi."

"Guide isn't a synonym for perfect, mom. I blew it with Jim a thousand times in the beginning. It got a lot better once I got to know him; found out who he thinks he is, who he really is, who he wants to be.... and he discovered all the same stuff about me, but it took time and work. Besides, I never though I'd find anyone more stubborn and determined then the big guy here, but Peter.... he could even give Jim a run for his money in that department."

Jim cast a skeptical look on his partner, then, while casually pouring French Roast from the common carafe, quietly threw out a statement that left Blair practically speechless.

"I'm determined? How many times have I pushed you away, Sandburg? How many times have I told you 'No, I can't make this work' or 'No, I can't control my senses that way, no matter how critical it might be' ? When it's down to the wire, you never let me give up on myself or the people I'm supposed to be protecting. Hell, you pack three times as much determination into that five-foot-something frame as half the CPD could muster put together. Thank God you do, too. I don't know how many lives you've helped save..... me, stubborn.... yeah, right." Jim chuckled, stirring sugar into his coffee and taking a cautious sip.

Blair stared at him, his jaw hanging slightly open. Eventually his mother reached across and closed it for him.

"Eat your food Blair, before it gets cold."

"Huh? Oh... oh, yeah. Okay...."

Jim smirked behind his mug, but said nothing more until all three had finished their meals.

------------------------------

"I'll get the check." Jim offered, rising and pulling out his wallet. "Meet you out front in a few minutes, Chief."

Blair easily read the message that Jim was giving him a few precious moments alone with Naomi before the men escaped to explore the city for the day. Grinning, Blair dragged her out to the sidewalk. Naomi, however, kept looking back at Jim as he stood at the register.

"What is it, mom?"

"You and Jim.... you're so close. I know you said you genuinely understand each other, but.... he really does see to the core of you, doesn't he? He sees the essence of my Blair."

"Yeah.... He does, but it's not a bad thing, you know? He...."

"I didn't say it was bad." Naomi replied, turning to look at her son. "It's just.... I've never experienced that. I never stayed in one place long enough. I suppose the idea of that kind of deep connection frightened me a little. Will... will Peter and I have that? Will he know me that well?"

"Like I said, it's a little different for every pair bond, but... yeah. Once you start training with Jim and me, once you're spending big blocks of time together every day, it'll happen. You'll open up to each other, learn to trust. You'll find yourself telling him things you never thought you'd say to anybody. In your head, at first you go ' Oh God, what'd I just say?! ' , but after a minute you think 'It's okay. He's my Sentinel. My secrets will always be safe with him. He'll protect them the way he protects me.' It is scary in the beginning, but it becomes second nature.... like, you're still you, but he's always with you too. You're.... more."

"The way it is with the spirit animals?"

"Kind of, but I don't always feel or sense Lobo. He shows up when he's needed or when he has something to tell me. Jim.... I can't really explain it. He's like a... a touchstone in my pocket, except.... he's in my head. If I'm scared, or just feeling alone, I visualize myself running my hand over a rough, mossy rock somewhere in the jungle and.... it always makes it better."

"That's so beautiful, sweetie. I only hope Peter and I can reach that level of awareness."

"You will, but it won't be quite the same. You two will have to find your own way. The one thing I can promise you is that once you *do* get there, you'll wonder how you ever got through a day before you were bonded. It splits your whole existence into then and now.... and you realize now is so much better, there's just *no* comparison."

Naomi laughed brightly and embraced Blair.

"Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?"

Blair, faintly shocked, responded uncertainly.

"Uh... no. Not recently."

"I am. You've turned into a fine man, B.J. I couldn't possibly be any prouder, or love you any more." She told him, pulling away. "You have fun playing tourist with Jim today, alright? I will see you for dinner?"

"Yeah.... yeah, of course. We'll come to the dojo and pick you up."

"Great. See you then, darling."

Turning away, Naomi hailed a cab, climbed in and sped away. When Jim joined Blair a few seconds later, he was shocked to find tears streaming down his Guide's face and a shaky smile on his lips.

"Hey.... what is it? You okay?"

"Me? I'm good."

"Then what're the tears about?"

"Naomi.... she... said she was proud of me.... then she said 'You're a... a fine man B.J.' God, I can't believe..."

"B.J. ? Where... oh. Blair Jacob. Cute."

"It was my nickname.... she hasn't used it since I was a toddler.... it always made me laugh.... I thought she'd forgotten all about it."

Gripping Blair's shoulder with one hand, Jim pulled out a tissue from his jacket pocket with the other and offered it to his friend.

"Once in a while, parents surprise us, I guess. You still up for the All-Day-Sight-Seeing-Marathon? I know you didn't get much sleep after the phone call this morning."

"No... I'm fine. More than that, I'm super-fine. Find us a cab, oh Sentinel-of-the-Great-City. I'm in the mood for some serious running around."

Jim rolled his eyes slightly at the thought of having to keep up with his own live-action version of Tigger for several hours, but he was also smiling as raised his hand to signal a taxi.